#screaming incoherently about fictional ladies doesn't really qualify in the eyes of most people and that's about all I'm good for.
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Having OCD is like, "I have to do exposure exercises for things I actively enjoy so I don't permanently ruin them for myself via Doing Compulsions."
#makes it REALLY hard to have hobbies!#genuinely I think the last time I finished a long-term creative project was when I recorded misa's interrogation song A YEAR AGO#you don't even want to know when the last time I finished an entire new work of fiction was.#I don't even mean like. writing. I mean reading/watching something.#my brain is an eldritch creature and I don't mean that in a cool or intimidating way I mean that in a pathetic 'I'll never#meaningfully connect with another person' way#I just wish I had like. ANYTHING to offer the world at large in terms of consistently positive qualities. but.#screaming incoherently about fictional ladies doesn't really qualify in the eyes of most people and that's about all I'm good for.#which don't get me wrong I WILL keep doing that but. sometimes I'd like to believe there's more to me than that. but I'm not sure there is.#mc13 and her ocd#god I should have bought cheesecake why didn't I do that
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