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dzthenerd490 · 9 months ago

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Department of the Impossible

Warning! The following is to only be seen by administrators and O5 council members. If you are not of Level 5 Clearance, you will be exterminated by order of the O5 council!

SCANNING

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CHECKING RANK DATA OF VIEWER

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RANK OF VIEWER CONFIRMED

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NO SIGNS OF TAMPERING DETECTED

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WELCOME TO THE FAMILY

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VIEWING OF DEPARTMENT OF THE IMPOSSIBLE FILE APPROVED

Created by Dr. Stefansdottir back in [data expunged by order of the O5 Council] to use her powers to contain anomalies that the Foundation could not contain by any other currently possible means. However, some of you may be wondering if that is the case then why doesn't she just contain everything? Dr. Stefansdottir's power is nearly infinite in growth, but that growth takes time so she can't currently do everything right now. As such the priority of the DI is to focus ONLY on the Impossible. Is it an anomaly that's difficult to contain and keeps killing Foundation staff and MTF units? Not our problem! An anomaly that can be contained but keeps breaking out? You're out of luck! But if it's a consciousness that slowly disintegrating all of existence, the unavoidable corruption of the sun, or even the Gods themselves, then you can count on the Department of the Impossible. Because that's all we concern ourselves with, the Impossible; nothing more, nothing less.

Previous Requests:

SCP-001: The Black Moon - APPROVED - Killed it... not that hard really.

SCP-001: When Day Breaks - APPROVED - Can't kill it for obvious reasons but put a metaphysical bubble around it. Still active but can't corrupt people's bodies and souls anymore. Looking at it, you can't even tell the difference, really. But looking at it still hurts your eyes, so you know... don't do that.

SCP-001: The Factory - REJECTED - Technically it can be destroyed so not really impossible. We’re the Department of the Impossible remember? If it's not impossible we don’t deal with it. Even Gods can be killed sometimes.

SCP-001: [the] [HUMAN!] [element?] - APPROVED - Killed RED Immediately. Bashed it into pieces then erased its existence. Probably could have just erased it but this was more satisfying. Was worried about ORANGE at first, but then SCP-ANO started eating them so... Whatever, I guess.

SCP-001: The Scarlet King - APPROVED - Can’t really kill him so we just got rid of the anomalous effect where he gets stronger and closer to our reality the more people know about him and how dangerous he is. He's still plenty strong and gets stronger through chaos but I'm sure we'll be able to kill him once he finds a way to get here... Okay I know people don't like it when I say WHEN and not IF but come on! We all know he's going to enter our reality sooner or later; I doubt there's anyone that doesn't know about the prophecy of all the Groups of Interest in the world joining together to stop the Scarlet King. Stop being such babies okay! The prophecy even stated he was going to lose! ... I think.

SCP-001: The Gate Guardian - REJECTED - Why do you wanna get rid of him? Leave him alone! He hasn’t done anything wrong. Just because I’m atheist doesn’t mean I hate the guy. He’s actually a sweetheart once you get to know him. Not that he normally talks to anyone besides other gods, but you know what I mean.

SCP-682: Hard-to-Destroy Reptile - REJECTED - Read the damn Code Name. It's HARD TO DESTROY, not Impossible, HARD! Sorry, but if it's not impossible to achieve then it's not our problem.

SCP-2521: IT/STOLE/US/A-/ - APPROVED - Placed it into a box it can never get out of. So, feel free to talk about it all you want.

SCP-3632: Nibirdu - APPROVED - Turned it into a marble, sometimes we like to flick it around for fun. But yeah, it doesn't cause that Scraw thing anymore so don't worry about that.

SCP-5000: Why? - APPROVED - [data expunged by order of the O5 Council] ... So yeah... I mean it's kinda gross but honestly it could be worse. Personally, don’t see why It convinced the entire SCP Foundation from a different reality to kill everyone. But then again, our O5 decided to create Project God's Hand and Satan's Pitchfork so I guess we're not really that much better, are we?

SCP-6000: The Serpent, the Moose, and the Wanderer's Library - APPROVED - Put it in Site-GARDEN, I like to use it as a personal library. Also, as an [data expunged by order of O5 Council] which I know sounds weird but it's actually pretty comfortable.

SCP-6500: Inevitable - APPROVED - Didn't destroy it, but instead [data expunged by order of O5 Council], if nothing else it can be used as a [data expunged by order of O5 Council]. I don't know just spit balling.

SCP-AER: Why Everyone at the Foundation Hates Tomatoes - APPROVED - Fine I'll get rid of it but I'm recording it the entire time. That shit was funny!

SCP-AFA: The Gojira Plague - APPROVED - Heh, of course I'll contain it for you guys but that means I get to do any experiment I want. Hope you guys don't mind having my sloppy seconds... okay given the context that's sounds wrong, so forget I just said that.

SCP: AFC: Ms. Frizzle and her School Bus - APROVED REJECTED - *licking a lolipop* ... Yeah you guys should give up on trying to contain her.

SCP-AGG: The Black Fruit of the Black Flower - APPROVED - Ugh fuck! Ugh... I'm okay, I'm okay, just that bitch really doesn't want us fucking with her plans. She nearly fucking killed all of us just because we stop her form planting a few flowers. Hope the boss is alright, I mean she normally is but, I've never seen her bleed like that before. Oh, but side note, we uh... We couldn't really get ALL of them, so yeah there's a possibility now and in the future, there are still plenty of traitors in the Foundation. Just keep that in mind, yall.

SCP-AGK: The Witch Nanny - REJECTED - Yeah that's not happening. First, why do you want to get rid of a witch that's actively teaching bad children to be better people? Second, I probably shouldn't say this but [data expunged by order of the O5 Council], so yeah, it kinda goes without saying but, HELL NO!

SCP-AIR: Urotsuki, Guardian within the Unknown - APPROVED - ... It's done, but mark my words. You ever ask us to do something like that again I WILL RIP YOU APART ATOM BY ATOM AND ENSURE YOUR SOUL KNOWS NOTHING BUT PAIN FOR ALL ETERNITY.

SCP-AKX: The Realm of Holidays - APPROVED - Alright! Alright! Just know a lot of people are going to get pissed off so don't come crying to us if this ends up biting you bastards in the ass.

SCP-ANO: THE IRIS - REJECTED - Not killing it until the O5 gives the okay. Guess they're still mad we got rid of so many SCP-001's. Wanna prove they can still do stuff without us... Bunch of babies. Though I have to say it is cruel they got everyone thinking its unbeatable monster. Well, whatever, if push comes to shove, I can just take matters into my own hands. Heh, what can they do about that anyways?

SCP-AGO: The Distortion - APPROVED - [Data Expunged by order of the O5 Council.]

SCP-AZX: Zalgo - APPROVED - Oh! Little Baby Zalgo finally decided to join the big leagues. It kinda sucks to have to break the little baby's heart but oh well. I'll be sure to keep a sample just in case I wanna do an experiment. Oh and don't worry I'll get rid of that thing where [data expunged by order of the O5 Council] when you say his name. Eugh, actually I probably would have done that anyways.

SCP: HMF - Departments and Divisions Hub

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dzthenerd490 · 2 years ago

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Anomalous Employment Division

Description: As new anomalies appear in our world and other worlds, the ones we are already familiar with only get older and older. Thus, there's leaves three options for said anomalies leave them be, decommission and therefore Neutralize them, or utilize them. For those that can and should be utilized rather than neutralized they are debriefed here at the AED.

The AED is the dedicated to showing the more humane side of the Foundation by giving the contained anomalies a chance to benefit humanity rather than putting it in danger. As such the AED only works with sentient, humanoid, and non-hostile anomalies. All other anomalies are not in the jurisdiction of the AED. It should also be noted that SCPs debriefed by the AED are to no longer be referred to as my their SCP number or Code Name, instead they will be referred to by the names they originally had or the ones they chose for themselves. Upon completion of any training, augmentations, and treatment needed they will be referred to as Foundation Staff with Class F status. Class F status implies a Foundation staff member that has been affected by anomalous properties but is to not be contained, instead use their anomalous properties to further benefit the Foundation if at all possible.

SCP's commissioned:

- SCP-040/ Name: Dr. Evolution/ Current Age: 24/ Condition: Given Foundation lotion to prevent harm form UV rays and potential diseases. Trained by Foundation evolutionary biologists to understand her powers better/ Affiliation: Cryptozoology Division.

- SCP-049/ Name: Dr. Haselhurst/ Current Age: Unknown (Immortal)/ Condition: Begrudgingly agreed to work alongside the Foundation and only focus on the Pestilence as a side project rather than his main goal, is given a single Class-D every week as per agreement/ Affiliation: Fire Suppression Department - Biology and Health Division.

- SCP-053/ Name: Abby Johnson/ Current Age Biologically: 20/ Current Age Correctly: Unknown (Immortal)/ Condition: Is given a supplement to help her age like a normal human, at least until she reaches the age of 21. Is currently studying with the Fire Suppression Department to one day work with them. Is only allowed to visit SCP-682 once a month or more when testing is involved/ Affiliation: Understudy for Fire Suppression Department - Containment and Security Division.

- SCP-073/ Name: Agent Cain/ Current Age: Unknown (Immortal)/ Condition: is give regular therapy by Dr. Talic and has been equipped with [data expunged] allowing him to turn off his powers when not on missions/ Affiliation: MTF Alpha-9.

- SCP-076-2/ Name: Agent Able/ Current Age: Unknown (Immortal)/ Condition: [data expunged]. Despite this, he is to only be deployed as a last resort, and never when Agent Thompson or Agent Cain is present/ Affiliation: MTF Alpha-9.

- SCP-105/ Name: Agent Thompson Captain Iris Clef/ Current Age: 41/ Condition: Given a newly furnished room and complete freedom to wander Site-[data expunged] and has been promised to not only be properly trained but also better treated by Foundation staff. New equipment has also been promised as well as freedom to visit her friend Agent Victoria and her girlfriend wife Dr. Clef/ Affiliation: MTF Captain of Alpha-9 Division Dagger.

- SCP-134/ Name: Dr. Stella Starchild/ Current Age: 40/ Condition: Given an augmentation surgery to her ears to allow her to better percive her surroundings. She still can’t see but is able to tell where objects are and how to avoid bumping into people. She doesn’t like to talk so instead, she was taught ASL, JSL, CSL, BSL, and FSL. Had a particular interest with Theology and thus was taught in the subject as well/ Affiliation: Department of Tactical Theology.

- SCP-166/ Dr. Meri Clef/ Current Age: 43/ Condition: given a necklace made by the Foundation that is able to suppress her anomalous abilities without harming her in any way/ Affiliation: Fire Suppression Department - Psychology and Therapy Division.

- SCP-191/ Name: Agent Cidney Victoria/ Current Age: 40/ Condition: Given several surgeries with the regenerative cybernetic flesh of Tau-5 units and thus she now has their capabilities, their strength, their speed, their regeneration, their immunity, and can now talk. She still doesn't need to eat but does so out of joy/ Affiliation: MTF Tau-5.

- SCP-239/ Name: Dr. Sigurrós Stefánsdóttir (Agent Sigurrós Stefánsdóttir)/ Current Age: 38/ Condition: Received therapy from Dr. Corvio and Dr. [data expunged]. Later trained to properly control her powers by MTF Hecate-A: Real Magic/ Affiliation: Department of Technology, Alchemy, Science, Magic and Warfare (Mobile Task Force Commander of Hecate-A: Real Magic - Oracles Third Eye.)

- SCP-347/ Name: Agent Claudia Rains/ Current Age: 56/ Condition: Reluctantly trained by MTF Specialists in covert operations, hand to hand, and close quarters combat/ Affiliation: Spy Agent for MTF Delta-5 and MTF Alpha-9.

- SCP-507/ Name: Agent John Hopper/ Current Age: Unknown (Assumed to be in 40s or 50s)/ Condition: Was given a Collar made with vibration crystals and created by the DTASMW to keep him in our reality. He can now only jump into other realities when he wants too. Like before he is still immune to the hazards of other realties. Given monthly therapy sessions with Doctor Rover/ Affiliation: Emergency agent of MTF Alpha-9 Division Dagger.

- SCP-590/ Name: Dr. Thomas Jack Shaw/ Current Age: 43/ Condition: Has been given a Foundation supplement that restores his health should he ever use his powers. Has been taught by Dr. Haselhurst and Dr. MacQuoid in medical science and how to use advanced Foundation medical tools, equipment, and medicine. Regularly sees Dr. Clef to ensure his mental health doesn't deteriorate/ Affiliation: Fire Suppression Department - Biology and Health Division.

- SCP-734/ Name: Agent David Founder/ Current Age 15/ Condition: Raised by two AFA-3's designed to be immune to his powers. Taught him the values of life, the SCP Foundation, and the great use of his powers. Is given regular psyche evaluations by Dr. Corvio/ Affiliation: Mobile Task Force Alpha-9

- SCP-1360/ Name: Agent Hector/ Current Age: Unknown/ Condition: [Data Expunged]/ Affiliation: MTF Tau-5.

- SCP-1985/ Name: Agent Jacqueline Johnson/ Current Age: 42/ Condition: Given complete control of the anomalous abilities of the device through Dr. Stefansdottir. She can now travel to any reality she likes and temporarily alter her body to become accustomed to that reality or gain abilities that are considered common place within that reality/ Affiliation: Field Agent within the Department of the Impossible.

- SCP-2118/ Name: Researcher Carly Love/ Current Age: 14/ Condition: Given a mask that suppresses her anomalous outbursts; has been given different masks with different styles for fashion purposes. Has been adopted by Dr. Susan Love and sees Dr. Talic on a monthly basis/ Affiliation: Understudy for Department of Universal Affairs.

- SCP-2192/ Name: Researcher Milaya Atomic/ Current Age: 13/ Condition: Has been given bath bombs containing chemicals that sooth her damaged body and with time should give her new skin. If this doesn't work, she is to be given a full body bio suit that will act as her skin. There is also the construction of her armor that should allow her to control the radiation emitted from her body. Regularly receives training from Agent Wells and psyche evaluations from Dr. Talic/ Affiliation: Understudy for the Anomalous Employment Division.

- SCP-2241/ Name: Cameron Crusader/ Current Age: 10/ Condition: Receives training from Dr. Stefansdottir and therapy sessions from Dr. Clef/ Affiliation: Future candidate for MTF Alpha-9 Division Sword.

- SCP-2273/ Name: Captain Alexei Belitrov/ Current Age: 55/ Condition: Received proper therapy from Dr. Carvio and the suit was repaired and upgraded by the Department of Technology, Alchemy, Science, Magic and Warfare. He is now able to take suit off and on at will/ Affiliation: Captain of MTF Alpha-9 Division Sword.

- SCP-2639/ Names: Agent GRRGRL, Agent WTF_STFU, Agent BOOGER/ Condition: Thanks to the Church of Maxwellism the Foundation was able to manifest immortal bodies for each of them that will simply respawn in an area close to where they died. They can now even see the world for what it is and are even able to interact with the world normally and modify their bodies to appear how they want. They can also manifest any SCP-2639-B item they desire at any time they want. SCP-2639-C has also been upgraded to ensure that the three of them won’t have to worry about death by other means. Furthermore, the Church of Maxwellism also made [data expunged] to ensure that if the computer does get destroyed the three of them will simply go to [data expunged] which is a sort of digital afterlife for Maxwellists/ Affiliation: MTF-Omega-9 (Sometimes works with MTF Tau-5)

- SCP-3293/ Name: Cooper Wells/ Current Age: 12/ Condition: Trained by Dr. Stefansdottir to understand and control his anomalous abilities. Has secretly received memetic therapy to regulate his chaotic behavior and desire to create more complex and often destructive devices/ Affiliation: Future candidate for MTF Alpha-9

- SCP-4051/ Name: Agent Rainer Miller/ Current Age: 30/ Condition: Trained by Foundation medics to understand the contents of medicine so he could manifest them, trained by Foundation engineers to understand phones and other useful devices, and trained by Foundation MTF’s to better understand melee and firearm weapons. like all approved by the AED is allowed to visit his family when not on missions and has his abilities suppressed. is also regularly given therapy by Dr. Clef/ Affiliation: Agent of MTF-Alpha-9 Division Sword.

- SCP-4494/ Name: The Specter/ Current Age: Unknown/ Condition: Was given a [data expunged] to allow him to [data expunged] as to prevent another “breakdown of the concept of crime” scenario form happening as well as a [data expunged] so that the Foundation can contact him on missions, especially ones relating to his anomalous state/ Affiliation: Agent of MTF Alpha-9 Division Sword.

- SCP-4818/ Name: Leora Lightfoot/ Current Age: 20/ Condition: Was trained by Agent Wells to control her powers/ Affiliation: Agent of MTF Alpha-9 Division Sword.

- SCP-5239/ Name: Blane Veers/ Current Age: 21/ Condition: Given Therapy sessions by Dr. Clef. Trained in MTF tactics and many types of thaumaturgic spells and rituals/ Affiliation: Captain of MTF Beta-777.

- SCP-5419/ Name: Quincy Koothrapali/ Current Age: 9/ Condition: Given weekly therapy sessions by Dr. Clef. Also trained in MTF tactics and war strategies/ Affiliation: Future candidate for MTF Demeter-4.

- SCP-6101/ Name: Ethan Prosper/ Current Age: 5/ Condition: Non-Anomalous currently, but thanks to SCP-[data expunged] we know he will gain anomalous abilities by the age of 9. Though of course this might not happen as most things given The Reset, but until he becomes of age, the Foundation will continue to monitor him/ Affiliation: Civilian life. Future Candidate for MTF Alpha-9 Division Spear.

- SCP-AAS/ Name: Agent McGee Commander Charlie Wells/ Current Age: 48/ Condition: trained to control her power and unleash her full potential without hurting others/ Affiliation: MTF Alpha-9. (Sometimes works with MTF Epsilon-9)

- SCP-ABL/ Name: Dr. Mathew Wells/ Current Age: 43/ Condition: Receives therapy on a biweekly basis with Dr. Corvio, given gloves by the DTASMW that allow him to heal anyone regardless of their religious affiliation and won't cause him to change at all/ Affiliation: Fire Suppression Department - Biology and Health Division.

- SCP-ACP/ Name: Dr. Carrie Yalemin/ Current Age: 24/ Condition: Has been cured of her mental trauma and her life is no longer under the influence of the Scarlet King thanks to Project [data expunged] created by Dr. Zeek/ Affiliation: Department of Tactical Theology.

- SCP-ACV/ Name Emily Valant/ Current Age: 39/ Condition: Her twin SCP-ACV-2 has been forced under a medical procedure to make him clinically braindead. She has inherited all his abilities as a result without his psychotic behavior. Still regularly sees Dr. Rover for therapy sessions on a month basis/ Affiliation: Personal trainer and tutor of new recruits for MTF Alpha-9.

- SCP-AGC/ Name: Agent Tree Gelbman/ Current Age: 29/ Condition: Given medical treatment for the recoil of her abilities and therapy from Dr. Rover. Train in basic and some advanced military combat skills and tactics/ Affiliation: Member of MTF Alpha-9 Division "Shield"

- SCP-AGT/ Name: Agent Jodie Jaden Holems/ Current Age: 33/ Condition: Given proper housing for himself and his four friends as well as their newborn child they are raising together. Also was given the ability to transition from female to male thanks to Dr. Zeek/ Affiliation: Member of MTF Hecate-Alpha "Real Magic" Division "Sorcerer's Staff".

- SCP-AKT/ Name: Agent Matilda Honey/ Current Age: 34/ Conditon: Given proper housing for herself and her adoptive mother. Was allowed to take on her dream job as a school teacher for children within the Foundation/ Affiliation: Member of MTF Alpha-9 "Last Hope" Division "Shield", part time teacher of the Foundation.

- SCP-ASZ/ Name: Cody Morgan/ Current Age: 16/ Condition: Has been given therapy on a weekly basis by Dr. Corvio. Trained by Dr. Stefansdottir to keep his powers in check and better control them/ Affiliation: Future candidate for MTF Alpha-9 Division Spear.

- SCP-AZJ/ Name: Agent David McGowan/ Current Age: 37/ Condition: Received monthly therapy from Dr. Talic and special training form Agent Wells to keep him sane and his powers strong. Affiliation: Agent of MTF Alpha-9 Division Dagger (Sometimes works with MTF Delta-5)

***

End Note: By Order of the 05 Council even after being processed by the AED certain anomalies are still required to do cross testing and other experiments. However, there will be more leniency with regards to protocol “Anomalous Lives Matter” as well as the fact that they are Foundation staff now.

SCP: HMF - Departments and Divisions Hub

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