#sb tell me why i'm so anxious about posting information about a verse on my rp blog

[deathdxnces]

» — ⌜𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴: 𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙲𝙾𝚁𝙳𝚂.⌟ 

𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚊   𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚝   𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛   𝚊   𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎   𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝   𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎. it is an immutable constant in her life since its beginning, and what led her to stardom. the early years of her childhood were spent in carefree learning of traditional korean dances from her grandmother, but she soon moved on to learn myriad other styles, from classics to contemporary and everything in between. trained as an idol from a young age, she made her debut as part of a group at age fourteen. following their disbanding, irelia launched a successful career as a soloist, achieving worldwide fame.

the more specific information tidbits.

irelia is the fourth child and only daughter of lito and iseul xan. zelos, kai and ohn are her older brothers; ruu is her only younger brother. her grandmother, hayun, also lived with them (her eldest brothers might have had places of their own already? idk). they were a happy family and led a comfortable life.

she was around 3yo when she started dancing, learning from her grandmother. her first contact with dance was through traditional and folk dances, although she would start branching out to different types as she grew up. to her grandmother, their dances still held power, being more than just performance; irelia didn't share her beliefs, but always respected them.

at age 10 she became a trainee, and would debut as part of a kpop group at 14. i don't have the specifics for the group but if for whatever reason it'd be interesting for anyone to plot something in that sense just come yell at me 🫡

her family was almost entirely murdered when she was 11. irelia and her brother kai were the only survivors, due to not being home at the time. she was the one who found their bodies — and who had to stab two men to get out of the house alive. if they were targeted for a reason, irelia doesn't know.

i'm sure she made swain lose his arm at some point idk how but that's a canon event always has to happen in every universe.

kai, already an adult by the time their family was killed, was the one who raised irelia from then on.

irelia dedicated herself entirely to dance and music and her training after losing her family, and left a lot unprocessed and ignored in favor of focusing on that. she wasn't open to accepting help either, honestly. you can see when the 'suffers in silence and says she's fine' attitude began. i think she's also very angry and resents what happened to her but she won't talk about it. and she learned to not act on her anger and always try to, well, act as if it doesn't exist, because she was being trained to be an idol after all.

kai is the only one she'd sincerely listen to for the longest time. she's very attached to him and i feel the opposite would also be true, considering they lost their entire family. her brother is very very important to her.

it's public knowledge that her only living family is her older brother, but the fact her family was murdered, as well as what irelia herself went through when that happened, aren't widely known facts. i think with enough investigation people could probably find out, but it'd take digging into it.

irelia is very dutiful and dedicated and harsh on herself trying to not let anyone down. being trained as an idol from a young age, she had to face a lot of pressure and developed the very unhealthy habit of facing everything quietly on her own because she has to be good enough to deal with everything on her own. it's what people expect of her. she can't falter when others look up to her like that.

as the leader of the group she debuted in, she was extra prone to trying to shoulder everything on her own, on top of being very perfectionist, though irelia was always harsher on herself than anyone else. like, i don't think she'd fight or criticize or argue with anyone for any mistakes (unless they were purposefully not taking things seriously), i think as a leader she's more. inspirational and helpful. but i think when it comes to herself even a hair out of place is enough for her to be quite harsh on herself.

she still struggles greatly with a lot of pressure and a complicated relationship with perfectionism in that at the same time she feels she has to do everything to not let people down and to live up to expectations, she hates the expectations and that people expect her to be perfect and don't really see her as a person who is human and flawed. yes, just like canon c:

between her personal tragedies and the pressure and strictness of the industry, there's a lot she didn't really have the chance to experience as a teen, and i think nowadays irelia is still learning to embrace her freedom (which is part of why i think she very much enjoys spontaneous people and people who just. do whatever they want. it isn't always something she does easily and i feel she'd appreciate the nudge in that direction).

i think she can come across as cold/haughty at first (in part, it's the resting bitch face), but she's super caring toward people close to her. very protective and affectionate and too willing to excuse their wrongdoings tbh skdjfnksjfn she can also be silly but that's usually reserved for the people she's very close to.

toward fans and such she's always very warm and attentive. irelia would always try to take the time to interact with anyone who tries to approach her when she can, and she always tries to be as nice and kind to them as possible.

she's not nearly as warm toward reporters and paparazzi. i think she handles interviews well, but like, anyone trying to pry into her personal life and paparazzi type of things she has 0 tolerance for.

she can sing and dance and act. she also speaks korean, english and japanese. i haven't decided if she knows more languages so uh i might add to it later..