#says the old man on the shitpost website

[mylawcitrus]

Cute animals, architecture, drawing and sitcoms

It seems like the makers of Tumblr want it to be what it was meant to be: a social network for teenagers.

Most of the people I know on here are in their 20s. Some are older.

But they've made some decisions in the past and it's just a matter of time before I delete this account.

The path is this: I was here since 2014, then I revealed in my poetry that I had been carrying some trauma. The content stayed up, and I don't remember when I decided to put it down. It used to be an attempt to be in sync with the girl I was into, who lived in the US and hadd contact with all this "stuff". Then the stuff got complicated... we weren't like, messaging back and forth, but we were very connected when we spoke. It's just a shame.

There was Twitter. It helped me go through family crises, but few people actually know it didn't help with shit. It just exposed a version of a guy who could barely communicate and in case in occasional onlooker saw a tweet, they'd be like "what's this, we're writing in caps today?"

Many years later, some projects, some events, people met, places I went to, Twitter was more or less of a battleground for politics to be destilled into hatred nobody knew whether or not was just projected or not, fantasized, augmented, or whatever. And there were a lot of people laughing about the whole thing.

But I'm not gonna say who was laughing. I don't know. I was strying to wrap my head around new facts in my life. For years.

And so bassically I was suspended this one time when Jack Dorsey said something I found distressing at the moment, for my moment, and I told the man to fuck off. Boom, suspended. It was in the midst of the Musk transition.

But honestly, I don't even wanna talk about Musk.

I didn't find a place. I had a bad habit, of going on a website called Faceflow. I met some interesting people there, and I kept visiting because it was pretty random how some people who seemed to be very "outside the box" popped up on there, but I'll have to admit I had a hormonal issue and things didn't go well. For anybody.

But a lot later, I found Mastodon. And people were discussing top level internet stuff, and also politics, while posting genuinely interesting videos and informational content. I was like "how many years have you been sober?" -- and I just wasn't.

The way I quit Mastodon was ridiculous.

Someone said: "so Instagram is like Tumblr now?" and that triggered the fuck out of me. I never understood Tumblr, and I had just been a victim of identity theft because of a complicated, but kind of suspicious interaction with someone I met on Faceflow and this dude, who was telling people to invest in crypto, that it really worked, and that he'd deposit money for you if yu just did these simple tasks. And I needed the money. So in the blink of an eye I lost my account, and Facebook was like, shitty as fuck with me, because they pretty much were still the definitiveinternet platform, before TikTok (and I know that shit is complicated, but I'm just like, thinking).

And I had to rebuild as a person, as a musician, as a teacher... like, a dude who was on Faceflow was a religious extremist who I started to be very displeased with, to put it lightly, and I associated the entire discourse that person presented with my social presence, and I came to a point of trying to reset everything and deleted my fucking LinkedIn. AND my Twitter, the 10 year old account. I had verified people in music following me, people from tech journalism, some geeks, I had an interesting presence! And it was like, haters? I won big sometimes, sometimes I kinda lost track of the strategy, but the thing was going on, I knew I was in the public eye and I tried to act normal -- instead of going "corporate" or "offering a product". And to your surprise, maybe, that's what people criticized, that I was a flooder, a shitposter, that I didn't take things seriously.

Dude... I had my life.

From Mastodon I came here. I realigned myself with poetry, but at some point, especially after the OF promotions and the Tumblr Live 420 stuff (which I'm gonna hint the boss might have a problem with, as far as I can tell), Tumblr became a place where nothing was very clear, and in the end, some very low profile people who never shared their thoughts or anythng were doing their thing and i thought I was just being annoying, like the place wasn't for me, the conversation was different!

So then I tried to bring it closer to me. Talk about personal stuff, so people got to know me, not the random stories people tell on the web. And it totally backfired?

But like, if it's because of porn, of course the problem is not porn per se, it's age gap. I'm not addressing this issue, each case is a case. My thoughts are already too scattered, the narratives are too, and discussions are likely to come up. And I'm not gonna be surprised if everyone thinks I'm the asshole, always have been, end of the story. But the level, the extent to which they went because of my social media presence, is totally out of line.

And now what I have is posts that nobody reads, conversations nobody replies to, and expectations that next time I go buy something (with the little money we managed to get from assistence!) downstairs, people are like "oh, here's the dude who doesn't have money to buyy new shorts but thinks it's ok to go out like that". THAT'S ME! I'm the least highlighted person you can ever think of... nobody has a freaking fucking clue of my online struggless of decades... they care about soccer, shit like that! They care, that is true, about their jobs and their families. And good for them, God bless! But I wanna be able to make that shift one day in my life, if not thinking about kids, thinking about my family and how I can help out, which seems like, honestly, something everyone in the family thinks I'll never be able to do cause I'm both a piece of shit and incompetent. But during Christmas season, you gotta hear shit like "you're stubborn and intolerant". And shut the fuck up.

So, Tumblr, sorry... I've tried to have a conversation about what I thought younger people were thinking about, but I'm obviously not welcome and if you wanna enjoy your space out here, have fun, you know? The memes are great, the aesthetics, the funny dialogues, the artists! The references, which are always building... but like, maybe I should go back to my real proposal which is to think of policy and to STUDY the decisions and materials that have been drafted for the future of the internet, and maybe at one point I'll be like "hm, I can answer that" and go for it, take a chance, and who knows, maybe get a freaking follow. One. By. One.

It didn't happen, on here. I'm still relying on the poetry people (3) and someone I talked more or less extensively about music (1) who's got a totally chill vibe and who doesn't want stress right now. But like, with all that I post, 4 people? Come on, what's going on?

So these are things people don't talk about. Go see if a parent getss on Faceflow. Go see if they even ask how many Snapchat contacts they have. Go see if they ever thought about going on Omegle with the kid -- rare! Go see if they think about what curriculum they want for their kids -- and then it starts to get a little tricky -- and what jobs!

We grow up... the internet is a thing that's up for consultation, for sure, but I could delete this and it would all become a "he said, they said" situation all over again. And I have mental health issues, but what I always fail to disclose is that I have issues with the mental health facility, which is a whole different level. And apparently, this debate is banned.

So yeah, I just don't know any better in terms of mental health. Which compromises all of my work. And all of my social media. But people wanna spend time talking about what billionaires are doing, the stock market, the fucking energy transition... dude, chill. You're not a climate scientist. That stuff is advanced as fuck, it's not your job. You wanna do something, share an article about fucking plant based meat and it's already gonna be stressful for you because the barbecue lovers are gonna think you're fucking gay or whatever, that's the level... but like, focus on your shit. Because I sure as fuck don't focus on freaking Faceflow drama. And about Omegle, I reported many things that were problematic, andd the shocks I've had were, if you knew, considerably greater than yours.

That being said, visit my Linktree, and if you want a more entertaining thing to do, there's my song catalogue.

Thanks, but like, this could have been a sticker.

[nutzo0001]

Some_porcupine said:

some are good, others are just snarky takes

Some_porcupine: What's something you'll get a lot of hate for if you say it out loud?​This young man possesses a remarkable clarity of thought. Unfortunately, the system has engaged in a prolonged brainwashing campaign, spanning multiple generations since the industrial revolution. Th... In 59 minutes

Some_porcupine: Shit Poster​A public nuisance and cancer to society In 58 minutes

Some_porcupine: We were called horrible kids too, and so were our parents, and our grandparents, and our great grandparents, and our...​I've known since I was a teenager that "kids are so awful these days" has pretty much always been a thing... like, literally, written records of that bullshit goes back thousands of years... and over... In 58 minutes

Some_porcupine: Shit Poster​Fucking boomers. In 56 minutes

Some_porcupine: Tumblr​Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your people. Edited In 47 minutes

Some_porcupine: hey I think I know why old people are insincere assholes the essay​Yknow when you're trying to connect to someone from an older generation, and they gloss over your attempts at genuine connection? Like when a family member got you a gift that really meant somethi... In 46 minutes

Some_porcupine: weegee​The millennial equivalent of the boomers "fuck you got mine" is the fact that they were allowed to be edgy and shitpost without having their lives ruined or be made a complete outcast, and could pret...

Just A Dumb Bitch Eating Ass™️

okay i personally vote we rename gen z from "generation z" to "baby busters" bc we are in the exact opposite position that baby boomers were in at our age im just saying ‍♂️ like boomers were just...

idk I'll name this later

You know how millennials and gen z are freaking out about 12 year olds doing relatively heavy makeup which is not good for baby skin and people are saying it's an overreaction Weelll boomers and gen...

Nothing's Cool

Baby boomers suck to work with in the job market. They take up positions because they refuse to retire. Their views on job operations are old and outdated. Their behavior in the job fields are old an...

- bad

Yess, it's me, John Langley.

Language, Gen X, LGBTPQRS - whatever! Having already lived through 'ist' and 'ism' being tagged to almost everything by the millennials, my awareness of just how much our language has become dilut...

Ta da!

Silent & Boomer parenting strategy: I'm going to mentally, emotionally, and/or physically beat my child into doing what I want. Life is supposed to difficult. Gen X & Millennial parenting strateg...

Difference in their coming of age

Boomers Gen x Millenails So if you see my place at the top I have started with boomers, I find all the generational gaps fascinating and how we can like show different ways of being with dif...

Tumblr

Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your people.

- little rants ˘

Tumblr

Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your people.

Is it over?

After I graduated college in 10 months I applied to 2561 jobs I only got 68 interviews from all these applications With only 2 job offers to show for all that effort When boomers or gen x talk abo...

wretched thing, pull yourself together

The blog of a weirdo author and perpetual pissant. He/They, pansexual 2x critical damage proc, 294 years old. Call me Kai. I dual wield sci fi and fantasy, but sci fi is my offhand weapon, with my charisma modifier stacked on top. Author website for book updates: klsomniate.com.

timaeuslover00

It's funny how younger poeple nowadays totally trash on the older generations evey change they get but when it's a bout generational trauma and slavery and racism they wanna "look to the past and hon...

"Aren't you a little old for a shitposter?"

Getting real tired of boomers trying to shame me for being proud of managing my shit, especially because as far as responsibility goes, everyone my parents' age seems to have coasted through life. Li...

and list go on - https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/baby boomers

...

+edit https://s9e.github.io/iframe/2/twitter.min.html#1678641211362488322#theme=dark View: https://twitter.com/MKatorin/status/1678641211362488322?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1678641211362488322%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=

thanks @WhiteSnake for birthing this idea

edit: what this post is about (skipping the foreword from user W-S who ghosted me XD)

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

thanks @WhiteSnake for birthing this idea edit: what this post is about (skipping the foreword from user W-S who ghosted me XD)...

Do you remember (Now Lost) "Future"?

Parallel thread with https://8chan.moe/404/res/17276.html Example: "internet will topple down *Patriarchy*!" related: https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/young-people-%C2%B484-%C2%B414-and-on-giving-up-on-life-life-under-l-s-capitalism-where-is-my-jetpack-cancelled-futures.6412/...

+ "cultural changes you noticed in your lifetime" thread

album:

lost future / post-occupy nonsense world / boring dystopia

DIRECTORY of main points:

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

thanks @WhiteSnake for birthing this idea edit: what this post is about (skipping the foreword from user W-S who ghosted me XD)...

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

thanks @WhiteSnake for birthing this idea edit: what this post is about (skipping the foreword from user W-S who ghosted me XD)...

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

thanks @WhiteSnake for birthing this idea edit: what this post is about (skipping the foreword from user W-S who ghosted me XD)...

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

Nobody wants to read chat logs except glowies. Anyways I find Zoomers seemingly large lack of protest to be both a good and bad sign. It's a good sign as I found most protests since the 80s to be large virtue signaling parties that rarely change anything, making it mostly a waste of time. On...

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

Nobody wants to read chat logs except glowies. Anyways I find Zoomers seemingly large lack of protest to be both a good and bad sign. It's a good sign as I found most protests since the 80s to be large virtue signaling parties that rarely change anything, making it mostly a waste of time. On...

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

glam rock, "teenage rampage", creatives? (to create new future visions) Yeah, those are good- I don't mean at all to undersell or overlook the creative visions that Gen Z already has. Gen Z has a great deal of unique aphorisms, culture, etc. but it isn't understood or catalogued by older...

&

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

glam rock, "teenage rampage", creatives? (to create new future visions) Yeah, those are good- I don't mean at all to undersell or overlook the creative visions that Gen Z already has. Gen Z has a great deal of unique aphorisms, culture, etc. but it isn't understood or catalogued by older...

&

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

glam rock, "teenage rampage", creatives? (to create new future visions) Yeah, those are good- I don't mean at all to undersell or overlook the creative visions that Gen Z already has. Gen Z has a great deal of unique aphorisms, culture, etc. but it isn't understood or catalogued by older...

[elektroblues]

Hello ma'am I come in peace this time, I'm handling a free topic card to you: do you want to talk about the blessing that Alan's sleeveless shirt were to society? His chicken legs? Something else?? I'd love to be entertained with some kind of presentation with pics and commentary

short answer: alan hot awooga

long answer that is essentially just an extended shitpost where i say nice things abt alan bc i only seem to be able to do it in long posts like this which i'll prolly wanna forget abt a week after posting:

other notes:

I think after DM you really see how charming he is, most probably (hopefully) because he was happier. I guess that's also why I still like and find older Alan attractive, besides the music ofc :^)

In his website he said how there was this misconception that he was the most recluse and generally such a gloomy person and he explained that it's likely the result of him working in the studio most of the time. Not to mention being in a popular band there's endless boring and repetitive sometimes outright stupid interviews (remember that one where he was asked what Dave's baby's name was? Like I feel physical pain jskfbsjdjdbs). It made sense that he appeared that way. But after DM I quite like how he acts in interviews more. I mean sassy and cranky Alan is still hot!!!!!! but it's nice to see him at ease in an interview yeknow?

Like he obvs doesn't look the same as in his days in DM but he's more humorous and more animated and he winks a lot!!!!!! (ok I only know like two instances but I SCREAM OK I SCREAM) and it's just. that's a man being happy and doing what he loves literally nothing is more attractive than that.

I'd joke about his chest hair yeah but I genuinely love him lol in conclusion GO SLUT IT UP OLD MAN WHATS ONE MORE UNDONE BUTTON ILY

[inspector2ndclass]

The Mechanisms as Random Birds I Found on the Internet

Did anyone want this? No. Do I know anything about birds? Also no. Anyways, here’s a shitpost I spent way too long on.

Jonny d’Ville: Northern Mockingbird

First and foremost, here’s Jonny! An asshole! A bastard! An all around terrible person! He shall be a northern mockingbird. This fucking bird has no redeemable qualities other than that it is pretty and a GREAT singer. This is a very aggressive bird. Very territorial. If it had opposable thumbs, it would probably shoot you in like the foot or something. I don’t think these birds are very smart. Just like a certain “captain” that we know. The state bird of Texas, among all places. Never trust a texas. In true Texas fashion, the 1927 legislation declaring the Northern Mockingbird the state’s official bird stated that the species is “a fighter for the protection of his home, falling, if need be, in its defence, like any true texan.” Now Jonny burned down a Texas - maybe not this Texas but whatever. I read somewhere that a mockingbird could peck someone’s dick off, and honestly? Valid.

Gunpowder Tim: Southern Cassowary

Okay, hear me out. This bird is a little bitch - or rather a b i g bitch. In a good way. Look at this fucking bird. It’s majestic. Doesn’t it look just SO trustworthy. What a trustworthy man. And very pretty. Pretty, pretty bird. Who could squash you like a fucking ant. This is one Violent bird. Tim is one Violent person. The cassowary makes a low roaring sound like a fucking dinosaur. I love dinosaurs. DID I MENTION IT LAYS GREEN EGGS. Now you might say, well Tim is a human and humans don’t lay green eggs. Fuck you. It’s never explicitly stated that our very own Gunpowder Tim doesn’t lay green eggs. Also comes with a built-in helmet. As everyone except Tim and the southern cassowary says, safety first! Strikes me as a very egotistical bird. If the cassowary weren’t a bird, I don’t think it would wear a seatbelt.

Ashes O’Reilly: California Condor

Okay, so. This is a cool fucking bird. Just look at it. M a j e s t i c. Do you know who else is really fucking cool? Ashes. They have so much power. Also condors are beautiful birds. Oh my god. California condors are very graceful fliers. For Ashes, I almost went with the brown falcon - one of “Nature’s arsonists”, but other than arson, it’s a rather boring bird. Just brown. And a falcon. BUT THE CALIFORNIA CONDOR. Now that’s a cool bird. The god of the sky. Actually, in the “research” for this post I found a blog post in 2011 from someone who has genuinely worshipped condors as gods since they were a teenager and honestly? Valid. (disclaimer; I am aware that many native cultures worship animals and nature, however I don’t feel qualified to talk about that. I don’t mean any harm by this post.)

DrumBot Brian: Shoebill Stork

Well. I did have a rather difficult time finding a bird that has a complex set of moral values. Who would’ve thought?? I did almost use a praying mantis, just for a little variety. I’ve never met someone who wouldn’t rip off the head of their lover. BUT ANYWAYS. Here we have Brian the Shoebill Stork. He looks so nice. But he will not hesitate to decapitate your baby crocodile. Also very patient!! Like a dinosaur! This bird has the most complex set of moral values of any bird I could find in about thirty seconds. If Brian didn’t decapitate so many young crocodiles there would be much too many! Too many crocodiles! The horror! I’ve also seen a gif of Boring Brian delicately picking up a duckling and placing it back down. Dunno what happened after, though. Don’t ask. Apparently the shoebill stork makes “machine-gun noises” which I think Jonny would enjoy fucking around with. A place that I forgot to write down reportedly called the bird “Abu-Markhub” meaning “father of the slipper” which,,,, yeah.

Raphaella la Cognizi: Kea

Also known as the “clown of the alps”, the Kea resides in the mountains, as the only alpine parrot. Pretty cool. I want to be a clown. But like, a cool clown - not one that hides in a sewer and eats children… Anyways, I’m getting off topic. The kea is the smartest bird I could find. Raphaella is the science officer of the Aurora so it seemed fitting. Look at this photo. That’s science at work! Kea can use basic tools! And reportedly have the intelligence of a four-year-old child! That’s pretty smart! Also it has wings! Raph has wings! Apparently kea enjoy attacking sheep, dogs, horses, etc. and just generally fuck around with people. Imagine what this bird could do with opposable thumbs…

Marius von Raum: Victoria Crowned Pigeon

My criteria for Bird Marius was essentially a stupid looking bird with a ridiculously long name. I was originally going to go with the King of Saxony Bird of Paradise solely for the name (just look at it! It’s so dumb! Who the fuck is the king of saxony!) however it bored me. So! Here we have Doctor Baron Marius von Raum as the Victoria Crowned Pigeon (also sometimes referred to as the Blue Crowned Pigeon). Genuinely, this was my favourite bird as a child. I fucking love this funky little bastard. Apparently, it’s the largest pigeon species in the world and can grow to be the size of a turkey. A turkey! What the fuck! This bird thinks it’s all that. (I mean, it’s not wrong). It was named after Queen Victoria but like,,,,, Fuck The Monarchy. Also eats a lot of figs. The bird - not the queen. Or maybe the queen I dunno. Marius seems like the kind of person who hates figs but eats them anyways so he doesn’t feel inferior to the Fig Lord. How the fuck is this bird not extinct yet.

Ivy Alexandria: Common Raven

Ivy Alexandria, the Common Raven. Ravens are extremely smart! Like seriously - near where I live, there’s an animal shelter with a raven and you can hold a conversation with it. It’s amazing! They also have great memories and hold grudges - so don’t mess with them. Oh! They can also use hand gestures, which for birds is insanely cool! They are the literal “birdbrain”. Sometimes they collect little trinkets, which I think is really sweet. Now, I don’t believe ravens can read but like,,,,, I dunno. I read an article recently about ravens doing “weird things with ants”. Apparently they like to play with them. Ravens have been known to sit in an anthill and let ants crawl all over their feathers for no apparent reason. Now, while nothing has been canonically stated involving Ivy and ants, you can’t prove Ivy doesn’t go sit and hang out with a bunch of ants.

Nastya Rasputina: Andean Potoo

The Andean Potoo is the most mysterious breed of the seven or so potoo species; almost nothing is known other than their vague appearance and their stomach contents (large insects like beetles and grasshoppers, if you were interested). While we do know quite a bit about Nastya, I thought this bird fit her pretty well. In answer to the question “Are potoos friendly?” a website said: “The short answer is ‘no’. The slightly longer answer is ‘it depends’.” This sounds like Nastya and her lesbian spaceship girlfriend. Potoos are VERY good at camouflage; like Nastya in Aurora’s veins?? I dunno, might be a bit of a stretch. They are shy, secretive birds. Sounds fun. Potoos are also VERY good at catching insects and shit. This point might not be relevant, but whatever. Andean potoos might mate for life; scientists don’t know. Let’s say that they do. If Nastya were this bird, she could be eaten by a weasel. Weasels said fuck Nastya rights. Fuck weasels.

The Toy Soldier: Atlantic Puffin

OH MY GOD. I love the Toy Soldier. The Atlantic Puffin. I don’t have many reasons for this one other that IT’S ADORABLE. This is my favourite bird. Just look at it!!! Hnnnnnnn. Baby puffins are called pufflingssssss. Oh my god. Also look up the bird call of the atlantic puffin; it is the best thing ever. Puffins are very sociable birds and live in like giant flocks or something. They’re very neat birds and also waterproof! Like wood! They shed the outer layer of their beaks once a year! Like wood! They live in burrows! Like wood! They can hold a fuck ton of fish in their beaks! Like wood! They have a really fucking wierd tongue! Like wood!

BONUS: Dr. Carmilla: Lammergier (Bearded Vulture)

Do I know anything about Dr. Carmilla? Nope! I think she’s a vampire but like???? Anyways, just look at this bird. It’s pretty self-explanatory. The Lammergeier is one Badass Bird. It is one of the largest old-world vultures. I don’t know what that means. It can grow up to four feet tall, though! And has a wingspan between seven and nine feet. That’s a big fucking bird! They have no natural predators, much like a certain immortal vampire (maybe???). It eats primarily bone and bone marrow and has a nasty habit of carrying off lambs, calves, and dead children. Remind you of the Good Doctor and her Band? Probably not. I bet Jonny has eaten at least one dead child, though. The lammergeier can also live up to the ripe old age of 45 (old in bird years?). Supposedly a lammergeier killed the greek playwright Aeschelus by mistaking his large bald head for a rock and dropping a turtle on it. Sounds very Carmilla. BUT WAIT I HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO THE BEST PART. This bird dies it’s fur the colour of blood to look more intimidating! Supposedly this is a mark of status, as well. That’s one badass bird!!!

WELL THAT WAS AN ADVENTURE. A useless adventure, sure. Fuck you. I had fun.

[ugokushiro]

i was tagged by @senjo thank you!! it was actually pretty fun to fill in

i’m tagging my best tumblr buds @sukerokus​ and @elriccs​ <3

Why did you choose your url?

howl’s moving castle is one of my favorite ghibli movies and it’s just part of the japanese title

Any side blogs?

a few actually, but @animeramblings (literally what the url says) and @theinfamouslast (gaming) are the main ones i use

How long have you been on tumblr?

since around 2013, but this account is from 2017

Do you have a queue tag?

i don’t, but i really should bc i do queue posts often

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

i joined originally bc i liked the whole ✨pretty aesthetic✨ and then stayed for the chance to have a space to talk abt random stuff and enjoy fandom content. i was also pretty lonely for a period of time in my life and i  think making friends on here really helped. tumblr really is the most comfortable place on the internet for me

Why did you choose your icon?

because miyazaki is my most favorite cynical old man

Why did you choose your header?

it’s just a pretty screencap from future boy conan (also by miyazaki, can u see the pattern here)

What’s your post with the most notes?

this code geass post which i’m mildly proud abt

How many followers do you have?

a billion followers. i have in fact the most popular tumblr blog, something most ppl don’t know about unfortunately ://

How many people do you follow?

209

Have you ever made a shitpost?

who hasn’t

How often do you use Tumblr?

i go through phases, but let’s be honest we’re all married to this website whether we like it or not

Did you have a fight/argument with a blog once?

considering i tend to avoid conflict at all costs, no c:

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this post”?

no ❤️

Do you like tag games? Do you like ask games?

i used to enjoy them a lot more in the past, but then i realized that no one really cares about whether you prefer coffee over tea. they are still fun to fill in tho! as for ask games i’ve never been very into them, i’d rather just shout my opinions into the void than interact with the ppl who follow me i guess

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

they are all actual celebrities. tumblr stardom is inescapable

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

they are all lovely people, but unfortunately no. i’m already confused enough abt irl crushes

[epicsevenshitposts]

OKAY SO I see this gem: “lilias is tried in cidonia’s equivalent of the hague for her crimes,” for example," in your intro post And I'm just...I ask for a shitpost about this

aaaaaa sorry for taking so long to finish this! my brain decided to commit die for almost a straight week and i have no idea why

lmao quick disclaimer but i am not completely up to date with the lore from the ending portion of episode 2 so this might be a bunch of cursed speculation

still hopefully i'll be able to make something worthwhile lol

seven years.

seven years of evading the authorities.

lilias had severed almost any connection she had to her previous life and yet, she had failed.

how the hell did the authorities even get to her? she thought she did a pretty good job evading their meddling. did someone tattle on her in exchange for a plea deal or something? how rude. if she still could, she'd arrange for that person to be, shall we say, sent out for a nice vacation in a warm, toasty place.

but, she couldn't, and now she was being dragged into confinement and charged with a myriad violations of what's basically cidonia's geneva convention.

oh, come on, what she did wasn't that bad. calm down. lilias shook her head in disapproval as her crimes were read out to her. did the people affected even matter that much? who cared? they were obstacles. she needed to clear them up to reach her goal. it was just a means to an end.

she sat in her cell, idly wondering what would become of her. would she get a deal to lessen her punishment, or would she be left to rot for the rest of her days if she didn't figure something out here?

there was another way this could end, but, well, lilias didn't think dwelling on it would be necessary. not at this point. she supposed she'd figure things out if it got to that point.

she'd find a way. she always found a way, no matter the cost.

eventually, the day of her trial began, and she was presented in front of the court.

dear god, this would be a shitshow.

the trial was a media frenzy, given a wholeass citylord was finally being brought to justice for her laundry list of misdeeds.

apparently these sorts of trials could last for literal years

dear god

lilias would be so old, she'd have one foot in the grave by the time this was over

well, maybe not that old, but you get what i'm saying

god, they went over everything from everywhere

seriously, she didn't even remember doing some of this stuff! besides, some types of people did deserve a little torture for their disobedience.

just as a treat

eventually, the trial finally fucking ended, and lilias got her ass sentenced to life in prison

well then

this gave her time. lots of time to create an escape plan and execute it

would she be allowed visitors? surely some people were still on her side, right? surely there were some lilias simps and apologists left in cidonia.

maybe she could be like one of those serial killers who were inexplicably worshiped in the dark recesses of social media websites?

she thought she had charisma and still was fairly attractive, all things considered. surely someone liked her and her kim possible titties.

these ideas would not come to fruition, though, and lilias was forced to serve her sentence until the day she died. because that's literally what a life sentence entails.

actually she probably would be executed but ehhhhhh

informal prison execution? hmmmm

but yeah she got vibe checked lmao and she deserved it

look i don't remember like anything about lilias but i feel like she'd commit some crimes against humanity too

those are kinda like war crimes but can be committed in both peace and war times??? idk man

i think you can get tried for both in the hague maybe??? possibly. i don't know the logistics of this, given that i have not committed either type of crime

anyway haha lilias got yeeted into jail

point and laugh everyone

uhhhh

hopefully you enjoyed it??? i'm not sure how i could effectively shitpost about this without doubt actual research on how these trials are conducted, but hopefully this suffices

lmao not me not being able to properly shitpost about something that was my own idea

anyway, as usual, leave your metaphorical yelp review in a reply or reblog if you wish

[questionablecas]

Get to know me tag- Sims Edition

YOUR NAME: Sara

LANGUAGES YOU SPEAK: English, Native speaker Italian

ARE YOU A MERMAID: Nope, I wish tho

YOUR PLAY-STYLE: Casual gameplay, CAS creations, Sims requests YOUR SIMSELF PICTURE:

STORIES OR GAMEPLAY, BUILDS, LOOKBOOKS, EDITS OR CC: I was used to roleplay with my Ocs created on TS4, but at those times I never did many screenshots. However if you’d like I might start to write down some of their stories. Now I mostly post my CAS Sims and some random gameplay screenshots.

YOUR FAVORITE AGE STATE: It was YA but I despise the skin breakdowns haha

YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON: Fall

YOUR FAVOURITE HOLIDAY: I have no preferences

HOW WAS YOUR DAY: Got changed my therapy and finally after a month of super lame mood today I feel decently good

YOUR FAVORITE CAREER: Musician, Painter, Gardener 

YOUR FAVORITE ASPIRATION: Oh man I have so many, I’d say my favorite at the moment is freelance gardener

YOUR FAVORITE PACK: Realm of Magic / Seasons 

HOW OLD IS YOUR SIMBLR: I think quite a month (I’m pretty new lol)

HAVE YOU WOOHOOED: No Comment lmao

YOUR FAVORITE SKILL: All creative skills, athletic and scientific ones 

THE SIZE OF YOUR MODS FOLDER: Oh man you don’t wanna know it, I swear.

YOUR 3 FAVOURITE MODS: Whicked Whims (Sorry not sorry), No EA lashes, Reshade(?????) idk if it counts as mod lol

YOUR INTERESTS (OTHER THAN SIMS): I draw digitally,I roleplay, I play a lot of videogames and I also like to read.

YOUR FAVORITE SIM (PICTURE IF POSSIBLE): It’s of before I opened this simblr, these are my beloved Sims. All part of a pretty big roleplay I made with my BF. 

BONUS COFF COFF

which sims games you have played (including mobile games): The sims 2 on Playstation 2, The sims 3 for pc and The Sims 4 on PC

propose a crazy scheme: Me finally making a decent gameplay with a minimum of commitment lol

best part of simblr: I love how this community can be warm hearted and ready to help whenever is needed! Also I am following so many stories and my heart of a fangirl makes dokidoki very much hahaha

worst part of simblr: I guess the trolls and the over reacting on certain topics. Especially thanks to the possibility to comment anonimously

WHAT OTHER GAMES YOU PLAY: Oh boy haha Risk Of Rain 2, Blade and Soul, Stardew Valley, Animal Crossin New Leaf, AC Happy Home Design, I played several years on Vindictus Online and I also played Black Desert. I am obsessed over Borderlands 2 and I LOVE the ship Krieg-Maya. I can recall only these games but I played for sure more haha

OTHER WEBSITES OR ACCOUNTS (ORIGIN, TWITTER, ETC): I have a FB page and another Tumblr but I mainly use FB for shitpost and share my drawings.(sadly due to health problems I kind of hiatus this last one but I promise I’ll restart soon) Particular thanks to @hookareh​ because I was hella insecure about create my own sim version :’^D

I tag YOU ALL HAVE FUN 

[halfusek]

BATIM SPOILERS AHEAD

SECRET MESSAGES FROM CHAPTERS 1 - 5

With a sort of analysis/shitposting on my side? Yea.

Chapter 1

There is like two walls with these, that’s a lot. Is he... aware from the beginning now? I mean someone’s crossing this and Henry is implied to be leaving these messages so...?

Choose your fighter.

Ok wow harsh.  Haven’t you seen all these cool AUs in his house?

Also can I just point out how... Joey... literally... drew... the Studio...

Oh, my bad.

He drew STUDIOS. Because the damn thing keeps happening over and over again.

Oh fuck if that’s the case then that is clever. I made puns about him drawing the studio before, wish I did something with it before Chapter 5 dropped, that would be hilarious to look back at fvdfjkvnfkj

That’s just depressing. But like... yeah...

Wow Henry you must be a proud mom now

Hey remember when DAGames played Chapter 4 and was interrupting Alice Angel’s monologue by telling her to stop watch him poop

It spells “There never was a choice.” (never underlined)

Those messages are either hilarious or straight up depressing.

It’s... kinda sweet how Henry from the past (pasts) helps his future self (selfs). And encourages.

I’m pretty sure she’s got many hearts in her stock.

STOP WATCHING ME POOP

Henry what the fuck

The falling human made out of the two Ls, the Y and the splatters above it-

Fuck.

GASPS NO WAY

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He is not the creator of the cartoons. He is the creator OF THIS WHOLE FUCKING STUDIO AND EVERYONE IN IT. Like it’s maybe a sort of obvious thought but when you let it sink in... damn

Rest of the chapters under the cut because it’s really long

Chapter 2

ARE THOSE IRL BODIES? YES? NO? SYMBOLS OF THEIR SOULS BEING TRAPPED HERE? WHAT???

Do you remember that? Or only slightly? Oh man. “I should have warned him” thoughts and then you get a pissed off boy in Chapter 5.

COME ON NOW

Ok. How. How did you write anything there. When. The only time he’s aware would be right after Sammy hits him with the dustpan. So is he like fainting and writing it? So he wouldn’t be able to write anything else like SAMMY IS GOING TO KNOCK YOU OUT WITH A FUCKING DUST PAN because yeah he’s passing out so it’s just... OUCH! Also to confirm this he is facing the way he’s facing when he’s on the floor. God that’s both shitposty and depressing. Nice.

Henry don’t be a dick

So you do sing 👀

I wonder how Henry figured out walking backwards to not trigger the Demon here and write this specific message. Also is Joey behind those closed doors because there’s the whistling.

Is he cooking

Chapter 3

Oh, hi.

Excuse me what

Henry is a Jacksepticeye fan confirmed

Joey is a man of ideas... and only ideas.

Which is why he created a studio, an OC based on a person he has a one sided crush on (me) from who he stole and claimed their OC as his, also made that stolen OC a thing and then made both of the OCs fight in an infinite loop in the massive studio which is behind his kitchen.

This both has a literal meaning but is also like a deeper general thought Henry do you want Joey to create a therapist OC you seem to have some problems

Why do these coffins hurt so much

Who are you asking Henry because Alice sure won’t fucking read that And why won’t you just write it with regular ink why you gotta do it like this

Why does he keep this thing secret? Did he make it? Probably since he’s the one leaving the messages Hmm

I fucking wheezed.

But also imagine Alice just giving her speech and Henry writing something on the wall with his finger Unless he doesn’t write that in a literal sense but like... spiritually Huh

THEY HAD DRINKS TOGETHER AND JOEY WAS PAYING FOR THEM AWW

He’s so fucking gay I swear to fucking gods.

Let’s hop on the existential crisis train, choo, choo.

How can you be kind to people who try to murder you

But this. This. Is such a good fucking work/life thought like damn. I love this game for those.

But are those just some thoughts Henry wanted to get out of his head or does it have something to do with the game because I’m kinda getting pacifist/neutral/genocide route vibes from this. But it it’s not the case it’s still pretty neat, we do meet them, we just don’t have the choice to treat them in some way most of the times.

It’s on level 14 and damn you game damn you yet again. I guess it can also be applied to that moment when The Projectionist is reaching out for Henry who is hidden in the Miracle Station? Like we don’t know what to expect of him because he had that small moment of realisation of... something. And he is also one of Henry’s “old friends”.

Is Is Ink Demon killing The Projectionist a symbol of Joey’s jealousness like Norman: *reaching out in curiosity, maybe to help* Joey: >:( my fren

Chapter 4

Thanks. Roll credits. So Chapter 4 is intentionally pointless in the terms of Henry trying to save Boris. THAT’S FUCKING SAD STOP IT

NOT. MY. DOG. YOU. BITCH.

So Henry is catching up. Joey does regret all that shit he did. I wonder how exactly does it tie here, with Bertie. Maybe that theory I had about Bendy Land being Hell for Bendy? :0c I don’t really think so but that’s a thought.

I’m losing my shit.

Okay that seems like another woke thought.

Henry can’t change not being able to save Boris.

Joey can’t change all of his mistakes. But Joey is the one making it happen over and over again so it might be slightly pointed at him?

Like, pal. Stop dwelling on your mistakes. Move on. Let me the fuck out.

This game is really heavy with this problem:

Move towards your goal, hope, believe, dream, don’t give up. Well actually do if it’s like super hard.

????? This is such a deep uuhhh analysis of this like one of most basics functions of how we people fucking work and live, what keeps us going. Holy shit I am IN LOVE with that.

But oof yeah Henry was and IS the one good at pushing Joey to do the right thing. Man...

Instead of trying to cheer you up lemme just write this message you can’t read real quick.

THAT WHOLE FUCKING THING WAS POINTLESS AND I’M LOWKEY MAD

;_; holy lord sweet baby jesus

Can Henry like be fine fun concept Meatly please

I suggest giving this a read if you as I weren’t familiar with that expression https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/09/23/heels/

Of course it’s a pun on “Time heals all wounds” expression. The word “heels” there refers to contemptible people. Earliest citation: 1934 and it got more popular around that time till something around the 50s-60s according to that website at least. Neat.

That is interesting. I guess we can associate the door with Joey as well since Henry warns himself not to go through them? And the Demon drags Projectionist’s corpse through them. Sorta against his will, heeeeeeh.

They look like they could be interactive but I dunno :0c

Oh, yeah. That two-faced motherfucker. That’s my bitch.

HE GAVE THEM FUCKING NAMES

Chapter 5

I feel like it was kinda exaggerated. Henry they like saved your life twice or so, how salty can you be

OKAY LET ME TELL YOU ONE FUCKING THING

AT FIRST WHILE PLAYING I THOUGHT JOEY WROTE THOSE BECAUSE

I mean why the fuck would they drop this star outta nowhere AND HE IS EXTRA LIKE THIS

But then again there’s this “Don’t go through the door”

Unless Joey did contact him through this as well? But I’m assuming it only because of the stars vfnjksd Idk I like when symbols actualy uhhh symbolise something

ALSO YOU KNOW WHAT’S INTERESTING

This is pointing at ANOTHER way. Without the boat. Possibly the Valued Employee (take the long walk) achievement?

I would check it right fucking now but my saves are fucked and I would have to replay everything again and I’m just too tired hhhh

Also Valued Employee does sound like someone who listens to their boss right?

And I’m getting the impression it’s not all Henry’s writing because it seems as if there is a different personality present? Idk

That sounds like sort of both of them. Joey is cheering for Henry, even if he’s planning to make him go through all of this again. Does he... have to make him go through it? That’s a bit odd. Joey nani the fuck.

I like the idea of Joey saying this ok lemme dream vskjvnskjvs

But it could be Henry (past/present/whatever) trying to cheer himself up like he did with the “Don’t be scared” message (if that was also him)

Oh, Henry...

Once people That implies that real people got somehow affected, right?

I love the halo and the bone, also you can see the bone only if you give it to Boris in Chapter 3

Wait It is The whole fucking Ink Machine Is inside Holy

A cooking gay.

Ink Demon/Joey parallel implication. I don’t think he is Bendy in a straight up sense though. He is/was a soulless boss, just how soulless Bendy was/is. I wonder if there is a studio version of him or HHHHHH complicated stuff

Is it like When people create something good but they just don't know when to stop it eventually ends up really bad And the Demon took The End so his cartoon couldn't be finished and it all had to keep going, Joey had to keep going Hm?

So like there is no message on Henry’s second desk

But it does trigger the same dialogue AND IT HURTS

Actually a lot of people missed the arrows so just so you know

But I thought we don’t like doors

Also it’s the last hidden message so I do believe it has a special meaning

CONCLUSION get Henry outta here and give him loads of therapy

Is his fucking last name Stein because he made monsters via the Ink Machine by powering it goddamnit Joey don’t trick people into creating that shit

[shookethbrooketh]

my “post-coming out universe”

i’ve been in this fandom for over two years, and i can honestly say i’ve never seen it quite like this. in its fundamentals, absolutely nothing has changed, and absolutely nothing should change, but as you dig into it, so many things have changed (undoubtedly for the better) that will never be exactly the same again. i’m making this post solely for my followers because i feel like this is a sort of a milestone for me as a member of this fandom, especially because it’s a point in which the entire fandom is becoming active again. i basically want to lay out what, going forward, i’m going to make this blog, and my experience in the phandom, into. can’t blame you if you don’t give a shit, but i’d recommend giving it a read if you’re someone who’s followed me for a long time. <3 

tldr;

i changed my url as a way of moving forward from unhealthy habits

my content won’t be changing much, although i’m taking on the position of Queen of Respect 

seeing the phandom rally together this week and seeing dnp return to the internet in general has made me excited to bring back the energy i used to have for dnp without the obsession 

i’ve grown a lot during the hiatus and i’m very excited to bring that growth back here to become a more authentic and healthy content creator and person

my url urls are fucking HARD, man! i’d like to take a moment in this post to apologize for randomly changing my url AND theme because i know how much confusion that opens things up to, and i’m also not the type who likes to change urls (again, confusion) but a part of me felt like it was sort of necessary. 

the evolution of a url is quite an interesting track to follow imo. i started on this website with the url “phaniltontrash”. yeah. then i switched to “phanisthetearinmyheart”, which i can’t decide if is better or worse. then i switched to optimistphan, which was my most Iconique™ url, but i feel like it just followed the old classic mold of “word-phan”, and that’s not what i wanted. so i landed on heartthrobphilly because, when i chose this, heartthrob was an amazing video, and watching it, and watching how open dnp were in it, made me really, really happy. looking at my url made me smile. but since then, this blog has fallen nearly as inactive as the boys themselves, and i even considered abandoning it, until dan came back. now that this has happened, i feel like heartthrob is almost insignificant. it’s something tiny in the path that led, for the boys, up to this, and it feels almost empty now. this url, however, makes me smile every time i look at it because i remember how proud i am of him for allowing me to use it in the first place. furthermore, i feel like the video has changed some of my general views (which i’ll discuss later) and a brand new url and theme is the best way i can think of to move forward into a completely new era. now onto the future :) 

my content in the past, i’ve mostly been a shitposter, but i’ve dabbled in editing, gifmaking, and writing. i’m writing two fics for the phandom reverse bang, and after that, i’m probably going to retire from writing. it’s not something i personally love like i used to, and i don’t want to spend my time doing something i don’t love. mostly, though, my content will remain the same. shitposting was one of my favorite things from the past era of my life, and i’m dragging it right on with me into this era. however, i feel as if some of my past content borderlined acceptable, and i think this video has instilled in me a new sense of right and wrong in terms of content. moving forward, this blog is respect central! queen of respect!! hell yeah!!! 

my energy one of the things that’s kept me from this blog in recent months was a lack of energy, or at least energy directed towards this blog. the phandom was dying, and dan and phil weren’t providing. that’s no shame towards them; it’s simply fact. i had no motivation to post, so i simply didn’t. but this week something truly magical happened. when dan tweeted that he was uploading, i made a shitpost, and it had over 100 notes by the time he posted. when i saw how it was gaining, i nearly started crying, not because of the notes themselves, but because, for the first time since 2018, the phandom was really, truly HERE. it resembled old times--the times that actually made me HAPPY to be a part of this fandom--and that gave me inexplicable joy. the joy continued as, after the video was posted, i got texts from people i haven’t spoken to in months and people i haven’t spoken to about dnp in years. the video was such a unifying force in the phandom, and seeing us all act like a real community again is really inspirational for me. it makes me feel like this is a place where i want to be again, and i’m going to be here. i want to bring the energy back and really, truly become a phan blog again. i want to interact with people, i want to answer asks, and i want to post ACTUAL content. i feel ready to bring the old energy and bring back the old times. 

my emotions it’s odd to say, but i’m really, really glad dan and phil went on this hiatus. while i began to lose interest in them in the recent weeks and months, i noticed how unhealthy my relationship with them was. i put too much of my happiness on them, on this fandom, and, worst of all, on my popularity within this fandom, and it was really, really unhealthy. personally, i believe this break was decided on by dnp not only because they needed it, but because they knew that before this could happen, we needed it too. moving forward, i believe that i’ve gained what i needed to from this hiatus, and i’m ready to go back to where i was, but for the right reasons. i’m ready to become invested in this fandom again, but never to the point where i can’t take a step back. i’m ready to become someone who creates content for fun, not because i feel obligated to. 

so, yeah. that’s what’s changing here. thanks for reading if you bothered to <3 i love you guys 

[buffytherepublicanslayer]

Tag Thing - Open To All! (Just tag me when you do it so I can get to know my followers a little better)

I was tagged by the brilliant @apropos-tea. Thank you! 

1) Nicknames: I don’t have any, unfortunately! It’s kind of hard to make a nickname out of ‘Lauryn’. (My mum calls me Laur but tbh I’m a completionist and this feels like cheating.) 

2) Zodiac sign: Aquarius (yes I AM a weird bitch.) 

3) Height: 5′9″ according to the measurement taken before my last surgery. 

4) Hogwarts house: I WANT to be cool and say Slytherin but tbh I think deep down I’m a Ravenclaw cinnamon roll who just wants to stay inside learning things and arguing with statues all day.  

5) Last thing I googled: “little black bug eggs on underside of leaves help?” (I’m a notoriously bad gardener and I am TRYING to learn please don’t judge me - also the plant in question is still alive and I am hopeful it will make a full recovery.) 

6) Favourite musicians: OH NO I AM INCAPABLE OF ANSWERING THIS I HAVE TOO MANY can I say who it is right now?? Lizzo is up there, as is Funkadelic (my fave) Led Zeppelin (my all-time fave) Sarah Vaughan (that altoooo) and Sonny Rollins (sax man). 

7) Song stuck in my head: Can You Get to That by Funkadelic. 

8) Followers: 390??? shockingly. 390 of you follow my inconsistency shitposting and random spewing sessions about me coming to terms with my sexuality. Incredible. 

9) Following: 647. I’ve been on this site since early 2010 and I have an itchy trigger finger. 

10) Do you get asks: Never, actually. Except for random spam messages of sexually explicit content that I do not invite, nor do I want. 

11) Amount of sleep: LMAO why the fuck is this even a question I’m on this hellscape of a website semi-regularly how much sleep do you THINK I’m getting. 

12) Lucky number: All numbers are bad omens to me, I’m allergic to numeracy. Also 4. 

13) What are you wearing: High-wasted Tibetan style ‘harem pants’ (hate that term but that’s what’s on the lable) and a sports bra.

14) Dream job: tbh I’d kill to be a prof at a small university somewhere just talking about my passion for feminist literary theory and creepy ghost movies to a bunch of 18 year olds who don’t give a shit but are still paying me $400/each to do so... but at the rate things are going I’ll probably end up selling meth to cope with the failing economy and the incumbent heat death of the universe. 

15) Dream trip: I’d love to tottle around Austria for a few months. 

16) Instruments: I was a session musician on tenor/bari sax, flute, piano, and vocals. Now I actively avoid live music because I know too many people and they ask me why I’m no longer a session musician on tenor/bari sax, bari, piano, and vocals. 

17) Languages: English, French, Italian, some Gaelic, some (bad) Latin. 

18) Favourite song: currently I’m binging Lizzo’s ‘Lingerie’ on repeat but I think that might also be because I’m desperate to try to regain a sliver of self-confidence from the husk of my anxiety-riddled brain.

 My all-time favourite song is ‘Ten Years Gone’ by Led Zeppelin. This song has gotten me through more tough shit that I can possibly put into words. I just... if you haven’t listened to it yet, please, I encourage you to follow the hyperlink and check it out. 

19) Random fact: I can do an impersonation of the slug lady receptionist thing from Monster’s Ink so accurately that I have had my students ask if I voiced the character. (I did not.) It is one of the many talents I possess that ensure I will never have a girlfriend. 

20) Aesthetic: My personal aesthetic - think witchy rock-chic librarian with too much anxiety who enjoys ghosts, beasties, faeries, demons, ghouls, devils, social rebellion and snacks. Also very clumsy. 

The aesthetic I feel in my soul? (prepare for some EMO SHIT y’all I’ve been holding this in.)

The taste of too-young raspberries plucked in secret from the neighbour’s yard. Driving home from work late on a summer night with the windows rolled down and the radio turned to a fuzzy 90′s rock station as the hot summer air twirls your hair into knots. Staying in bed too late on a dark, rainy Saturday and only emerging from the blankets to slip on a sweater and make a cup of tea. Being awake at 2am with a book you just can’t put down and the wind rustling the trees outside your window. The overpowering smell of cedar and salt water. The tingles in your spine and flutter in your chest when someone you’ve fallen for finally kisses you after months of tension. 

Also cinnamon whiskey. That is all. 

I’m tagging @emma-the-pug @fandomlydancing @fandoms-over-studies @trekraider @blue-box and anyone else who’d like to join! =) 

[matiasman1]

Shitpost generator???

OK so there's this website, talktotransformer.com, that uses an implementation of a text generating neural network. You give it a prompt and it builds a couple of paragraphs based on it. It's hilarious.

Here's some gems I've gotten, I'll leave the prompts boldened and colored:

Darth Vader pulled down his pants to reveal a thong, smacked the table with a gavel, and said, "Now, look, there are some people who think I should be executed."

"Yes, ma'am, you have five minutes to submit your petition to the Supreme Chancellor. You must inform him that you accept the pardon."

"I accept the pardon. That's all I asked for, before I was executed."

Han was just about to say something to stop this madness, but he was interrupted by the end of another lengthy scene, a bunch of re-enactors carrying an equally tall judge like Indiana Jones swinging an axe, and the arrival of two shouting papas, wearing shiny, spiffy robes, of one such judge (who couldn't decide whether to be orange or green). The papas said,

Ben Tennyson was just a normal 10 year old boy when he woke up one night in 1950. A strange light was shining from the sky and Tennyson wasn't interested. To make matters worse, he could not hear the radio that was playing on the radio. It was just a scene from an ancient movie, but Tennyson wasn't ready to believe it. At this point, even he couldn't tell the difference between a girl's scream and a fox's howl. However, Tennyson heard someone behind him. The sound of footsteps, but only a young girl's as she was running away. As her footsteps were getting faster, Tennyson walked into a clearing and took a look around. There were some children playing outside, laughing. Although they were happy that Tennyson was there, none of them noticed the little boy. After an hour passed, it became dusk, so Tenn

-You'll never catch me, Dr. Robotnik.

Yelled sonic.  Shouted "You think you can just kick me out?  Kick me out, you sons of bitches!"  I jumped and sprung up on a box to drop and closed my eyes and listened to the wind and never noticed the… noise… again.

Then, in shock, I looked up and saw a man in a robot mask.

"Oh no," I thought, "not again." Then I heard the robots' robot voices.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yes!" the robot said.

"How? How did you get here, Dr. Robotnik?"

"Why don't you ask him, Doctor?" The robot said.

"He's in there!"

The next thing I knew, I was on the floor, sitting on a

Get fucked Spider-Man !" and his father yelled out for him to attack.

"Hurt them?!" Uncle Ben questioned with the sound of the clink clinking of a glass as his granddaughter stood there open mouthed.

"Not yet, I don't want to hurt you but I want them. I want them all!"

"There will be no moving on until you've figured that out Mr. Rhodes."

Dismissing the voice of the Protector, the Punisher leaned forward and thrust his left arm into the air as if to raise the water from the pool.

In the hallway, Weaver sat up and looked out her window.

"You no think I will ever figure out how to stop this storm, do you?"

"They'll have a stroke."

"When they're done with you

[glutko]

If CD-i Zelda characters had YouTube channels

Link: A Fortnite/GTA V YouTuber. You know the type, and I don’t have to explain much further. He secretly moonlights a second YouTube channel where he posts the funniest moments of Simpsons episodes. They’re all modern Simpsons episodes. It’s awful either way. Has the most subscribers out of any of the channels at 7.9 million.

Zelda: Makes general fashion videos, and sometimes games with Link. They’re pretty much the CD-i versions of PewDiePie and CutiePieMarzia. Tends to brutally roast Hektan and Lady Alma whenever she sees them in the comments. Surprisingly, she’s best friends with Lupay.

King Harkinian: Big name Let’s Player who focuses on horror games and overreacts to entertain his audience. He has an ongoing play-through of Morrowind, similar to Oxhorn’s New Vegas run. He’s also working on a YouTube Red series featuring Link and Zelda.

Gwonam: Creates tutorials on how to perform magic spells, and tips for other such magic-related things. Made the channel in memory of his older brother Squadala, who died in a magic carpet crash. Once famously hyped up a collab between him, I.M. Meen, and Ophelia Chill as being the next Infinity War.

Impa: Recounts children’s stories from her books, much like Michael Rosen. Is in a bit of a rivalry with Morshette, who keeps YTPing her videos to have her say swears and kill characters in her stories. Does the occasional livestream, in which she tells fortunes.

Morshu: Makes quirky, meme-filled videos and ads to promote his store in Koridai. His daughter Morshette helps him out with the hippest memes. Link and Zelda keep commenting “How do you do, fellow kids” on them. Ushrom keeps ripping them off to varying degrees of quality.

Duke Onkled: Only has one video on his (nearly-blank) YouTube channel, and it’s of him badly singing Interstate Love Song at karaoke. The dislikes on the video are astronomically high, and the comments? Heh, you don’t wanna see those. Oh, and he’s in jail for treason.

Lord Kiro: He’s trying to make a career for himself by becoming a ‘trip-hop lo-fi’ rapper, whatever the hell that is. He also posts cute videos of his cat, Fari. Guess which video genre gets the most views? (Hint; it’s not the one he wants.)

Lady Alma: Has never made a video, and never will. Instead, she makes dozens of alternate accounts to reply to Duke Onkled hate comments, saying that he didn’t do anything wrong. Everyone knows it’s her.

Morshette: Shitposter and YTP Champion of 2018. Link’s a big fan of her work.

Harbanno: Runs a cooking channel that’s basically the Gamelon version of Townsends. Mayor Cravendish lends a hand when he’s not busy with government duties. He once did a collaboration with Omfak. It did not end well.

Ganon: Narrates various horror stories, whether they’re Creepypastas, real events, or Let’s Not Meet stories. Often works with Lupay on narrating stories from a female perspective. Fun fact: he makes his own sound effects for the stories, instead of getting them from various websites.

Goronu: Spends his time exploring graveyards and catacombs. What? Oh, there’s nothing suspicious going on, honest! One day, Goronu disappears and isn’t heard from for an entire year. Then, out of the blue, he uploads a video showcasing his exploration of Genghis Khan’s long-lost tomb. Everyone is confused.

Harlequin: Only uses his YouTube to advertise his bazaar/casino, which are plastered in front of videos like Tai Lopez’s garage speech. The like/dislike bar is half-and-half, and the comments are disabled for SOME REASON. HMMMMM.

Militron: BIG fan of medieval history, and focuses on reviewing and discussing weapons of all kinds. He tends to use said weapons on his Armos minions. Runs a second gaming channel with Iron Knuckle, where they play Crusader Kings II.

Glutko: I’ve got one word for you, and that word is ‘mukbang and eating challenges’. Yes, I know that’s four, shut up. Droolik the Beer Guy comments on all of his videos, but most of the time, they’re drunken keysmashes. Other comment highlights include Link and Zelda making vore jokes.

Lupay: Chronicles interesting and weird events that have happened in her life. Half of her fanbase are furries who clicked on her videos, expecting her to be a fursuiter, yet stayed around anyways because of the stories.

The Three Witches: They make ASMR videos, but they kind of don’t know what ASMR is. Highlights include blowing out the audio because of loud noises and crinkling plastic bags eight feet from the microphone, causing no sound to be picked up.

Hektan: Does parkour to run away from Gamelonian guards who want to arrest him for his crimes. Everyone is astounded by the fact that an old man is doing these crazy-ass inhuman stunts. But for him? It’s just another Tuesday.

Omfak: Runs a general cooking channel that sometimes delves into bacon-filled messes similar to Epic Meal Time. At the end of his videos, Omfak eats his food and rates it. Has an ongoing partnership with Dairy Queen due to his lips form, and is good friends with Glutko, sometimes delivering food for him to eat.

[lordelmelloi2]

On Cu Chulainn’s mythological background:

I want to make it clear that this is strictly about the mythological Cu Chulainn and that, as there are people who would be appalled by the behavior of even the mythological origins of the characters they enjoy within the Fate series, there isn’t much exposition on Cu Chulainn’s background as a legend. 

I also, while editing this post, decided to add in some information about his father/foster-father/king/man who has been associated with his life since the very beginning, Conchobar Mac Nessa. Reading about him, you’ll begin to understand what an awful person he is. 

I’ve spent at least 3 years researching Ulster mythology as a side hobby and the one thing that never really came into the spotlight was that Cu Chulainn had committed some heinous crimes. It’s been lightly brushed upon before, this I know, but these specific things from his origins (and I mean the actual texts; not the retellings of his mythos that came later) have near-never been spoken of on tumblr. This is a blogging website, I am a blog author sometimes and not just a shitposter, so sometimes I really want to write about things that are - to me - important to know or reflect on. This will likely also be published on wordpress at some point for a more permanent home. 

Preliminary trigger warnings are: sexual assault, threats of sexual assault, cheating, incest mention. 

Under the cut I will give the full trigger warnings

TW: rape/sexual assault, threats of sexual assault, brief mention of incest, cheating/ppppossibly? gaslighting? the way cuchullin goes about his affair is, like many men, atrocious 

I’ve spoken before about Cu Chulainn’s heritage and how he’s technically not the son of Lugh because of how originally - and I mean earliest translationswise- he was born of his mother and his uncle. 

His uncle is King Conchobar, and was married to Medb at one point. 

Medb became ruler of Connacht after a while and gained enough political power through her royal heritage to be able to be declared ruler of Connacht on her own. She was unhappy with her marriage with Conchobar (for decent reasons, 1) she was only married to him as compensation, 2) one version of the story of Furbaide, Medb’s killer, has Conchobar cheating on Medb with her sister Eithne and fathering a child, the later version has that child being the product of incest between Clothru and Lugaid, other siblings of Medb’s; either way you get the idea.) and left him, and Eochu set her up as ruler of Connacht.. There is an assembly at Tara in which rulers meet to discuss things, and after that assembly Conchobar raped Medb. 

After that, after some time, Setanta/Cu Chulainn enters the story, and Conchobar acts somewhat as a foster-father, though Fergus is on record and in practice his main fatherly figure. 

Fergus gets exiled from Ulster because Conchobar attempts to groom and marry a girl from birth because she was prophecied to be essentially the next Helen of Troy and Conchobar wanted to marry her; when Deirdre attempted to escape, Fergus’s son was involved, and Conchobar had him killed. The death of his son causes Fergus to burn Emain and kill maidens and yadda yadda he goes into exile in Connacht. 

You get the idea. Conchobar is a sack of shit. But that’s not why we’re here. 

Eventually, as you all know, Setanta kills a dog, becomes Cu Chulainn in repentance, and then zzzzzzzzzzzzzz goes to Dun Scaith to train with the warrior Scathach. 

Scathach has a sister named Aoife/Aife/Aiffe/Eva/(The spelling differs because it’s an old name that became modernized) who she goes to war with. Scathach slips Cu Chulainn a sleeping potion knowing that his involvement in this conflict will be catastrophic. Cu Chulainn, being Cu Chulainn hero protag #32848024, wakes up because the potion wasn’t enough. He goes out to fight. 

Fighting with Aoife, she breaks his sword, and he’s at a disadvantage; he asks Scathach what Aoife’s most prized possessions are, and Scathach says it’s her chariots. At that point Cu Chulainn seizes Aoife by the breasts (CELT, LU has it under her breasts/potatosack carry), hoists her over his shoulders, throws her to the ground, and as she begs for her life, he says he’ll spare it if she has sex with him that night and bears him a son. And thus, Aoife is raped. 

(The Wooing of Emer, LU) (http://sejh.pagesperso-orange.fr/keltia/version-en/wooemer1.html)

(The Wooing of Emer, CELT) (https://celt.ucc.ie//published/T301021/)

There is another version of the time Cu Chulainn went to Dun Scaith. In this version, he meets Uathach, Scathach’s daughter, breaks her finger(s), and then kills the man who comes to fight him when that man goes out to find out why Uathach is screaming in pain. 

(The Wooing of Emer, LU) (http://sejh.pagesperso-orange.fr/keltia/version-en/wooemer1.html)

Uathach visits him later with the intention of having sex with him, and he obviously repeals her. She says she’d give him good rewards if he has sex with her that night, and Cu Chulainn, being Cu Chulainn, has sex with her and then asks her in the morning what the rewards are. Uathach replies that she knows where and when Scathach is unarmed and in which he can threaten to kill her unless she gives him those rewards. 

Cu Chulainn follows through; approaching Scathach while she’s unarmed, holds her at swordpoint and states he will kill her. Scathach states that it isn’t wise and she would rather give him rewards instead of dying. Cu asks “what are those” and Scathach replies, whatever you want. Cu, of course, holding her at swordpoint still, replies that he wants to learn feats she has never taught anyone, the “friendship of her thighs” which is a quick euphemism for sex, and to marry her daughter. 

(The Training of Cu Chulainn) (http://sejh.pagesperso-orange.fr/keltia/version-en/cu-training.html)

It is incredibly disappointing to say that no matter what text I find, Cu Chulainn still commits a sexual crime at Dun Scaith. It is also noted that he is violent towards the women he knew at that time. 

Unfortunately, this does not really change. 

Later on, he cheats on his wife Emer with Fand, a fairy princess. 

(The Sick-bed of Cu Chulainn, or, Emer’s Only Jealousy) (http://sejh.pagesperso-orange.fr/keltia/version-en/cu-sickbed.html)

Emer, being a woman written in the Ulster cycle, decides she is going to kill Fand, not Cu Chulainn for cheating on her. Cu Chulainn states that Emer will not even reach Fand after seeing Emer approaching with 50 maidens with knives. Cu Chulainn ridicules Emer for even attempting to fight against him; Emer asks him why he would decide to dishonor her amongst every woman in Erinn.

(The Sick-bed of Cu Chulainn, or, Emer’s Only Jealousy) (http://sejh.pagesperso-orange.fr/keltia/version-en/cu-sickbed.html)

Cu Chulainn does not take well to this, and asks what business Emer has denying him Fand. His speech is almost a “how dare you” to Emer, continuing to ridicule her for standing up against him. 

(The Sick-bed of Cu Chulainn, or, Emer’s Only Jealousy) (http://sejh.pagesperso-orange.fr/keltia/version-en/cu-sickbed.html) 

Emer is overcome with grief, and says she will give him up to Fand. Fand is overcome with grief, and says she will give Cu Chulainn to Emer. The two have a “I’m sorry” battle where they continue to insist that they should feel guilt, because Cu Chulainn is so great, and they can not possibly blame him for cheating on anyone. 

(The Sick-bed of Cu Chulainn, or, Emer’s Only Jealousy) (http://sejh.pagesperso-orange.fr/keltia/version-en/cu-sickbed.html)

So with that, Fand leaves Cu Chulainn, and her father makes it so that Cu and Fand may never meet again, and druids provide a memory-wiping potion that erases the event from Emer and Cu Chulainn’s memory. Yeesh. 

Summary: 

It is not hard to see the mythological background of Cu Chulainn is rife with sexism and illicit activity. The topic of sexism within the Ulster Cycle of Irish mythology has been studied time and time again, both in regard to Cu Chulainn’s heroism, and in regard to the villainy of Medb (which even some have argued is simply retaliation for being sexually assaulted). 

I feel that many people excuse Cu Chulainn for his behavior because he has not had his crimes written about in depth. While there are quite a few talks about the Ulster Cycle of mythology’s sexism, they are hidden behind the barriers of academic accessibility. Despite my interest I myself can’t shell out $45 USD for some of the books I’ve been recommended and have to make do with what I’ve got. 

I understand a lot of people like Cu Chulainn, but from what I also understand a good number of them would not like him very much if they knew of what his original mythos was. In another post I will explain how author Nasu Kinoko fails to retcon his mythos within the Fate/Series, namely within Fate/Hollow Ataraxia, and adds ‘sexual harassment of teenagers’ to the number of things Cu Chulainn had done in his stories, but not now. 

I hope this shines light on the kind of character Cu Chulainn was within his origin, and that readers understand that he wasn’t a perfect hero like his retellings insist. It’s important to note that it wasn’t Christianization that gave the impression that Cu Chulainn was a great, noble hero - it was largely the work of the storytellers whose job it was to retell the story for a modern Irish audience. One of the most infamous retellers of Irish myth has been criticized for her decision to make the history black and white - her name was Lady Augusta Gregory, one of the key founders of the Irish Literary Revival. 

I also would like to encourage anyone who has any other sources to come forward to discuss this in an academic light. It is hard for a non-native Irish speaker to gain access to this info and I have many Irish mythology blogs to thank. 

Thank you for reading this. 

[funface2]

The Area 51 meme and the strange, winding tale of Matty Roberts – Vox.com

RACHEL, Nevada — For the mess he’s found himself in, Matty Roberts is surprisingly calm.

One night in late June, Roberts was up late scrolling on Facebook. That is his wont; a 21-year-old college kid who lives with his parents in Bakersfield, California, he spends a lot of time online in anime and video gaming communities. And most of all, Roberts is into shitposting, trading in a genre of particularly silly memes that’s especially popular on Facebook. The posts can range from a SpongeBob screenshot that makes a joke about the cartoon character getting stoned, to a fart noise-laden remix of Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy” video.

Roberts runs a small Facebook page called “Shitposting cause I’m in shambles,” which scratches his meme-seeking itch. He not only shares posts he sees and likes; he creates his own. And that June night, he posted something different than just an image macro-referencing a cartoon or existing online goof. He decided to create a Facebook event as the stage for his joke; it went on to strike a chord with millions.

He called it “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us.” Inspired by the covert Nevada military base that many have long believed to be some kind of alien testing ground or site where the government is investigating unidentified aerial phenomena, he proposed gathering as many people as possible on September 20 to cross the fenced-off land. “Let’s see them aliens,” the event description implored.

Within days, nearly a million people had signed on — either in jest or in earnest. Not long after that, the military got involved.

Roberts’s shitpost had quickly, surprisingly, caused a stir that was at once hilarious and very serious. To date, 3 million Facebook users have showered Roberts’s prank event page with international attention, playing into its tongue-in-cheek recognition of the government secrecy and extraterrestrial ties that Area 51 represents in popular culture. But as online jokes spread about bringing home aliens from a locked-down military base, “Storm Area 51” bled into real life. A spokesperson for the Air Force ominously warned people against approaching the base’s borders. Media outlets fought to interview Roberts and reported on his meme as if it were an impending catastrophe.

It has also triggered preparations for a state of emergency in two Nevada counties and generated more alien merch than anyone could ever want. Most of all, the meme has thrust Roberts, a long-haired, laid-back bro, into a national spotlight he probably didn’t deserve — or into the center of a debacle involving a rural town, the federal government, a business partner, a cease-and-desist order, and frequent evocations of Fyre Festival. Depends on who you ask.

“It’s not daunting at all,” Roberts says, with no small amount of hubris. As interest swelled, he took it upon himself to put on a legitimate Area 51 event — 148 miles away from Rachel, back in Las Vegas. “There is a little bit of pressure, but at the same time, it’s an exciting kind of pressure. It’s amazing.”

In the two months since he posted his open invitation, Roberts has become the self-proclaimed face of a live festival dubbed Alienstock. This weekend, real people are showing up for it.

Storm Area 51 was an obvious joke — one that tapped into the internet’s love for memes and easily repeatable humor and coalesced into something much bigger: competing festivals for UFO conspiracy theorists, fans of shitposting, and small-town Nevada locals.

By boosting Roberts’s profile, the event has become more than a gag. It is now, as Roberts says, a “brand.” Not to mention a potential crisis. (Alienstock may not be this year’s Fyre Festival, but rampant opportunism is threatening to bring it close.)

And Storm Area 51 has become emblematic of the cycle of fame in 2019: It was born of the internet, turned a random college kid from Bakersfield into a national figure overnight, and is so meta that it can barely be understood by those outside of it and the world it was born of.

“It plays perfectly into the shitposting culture, and it also plays perfectly into the genuine conspiracy theorists,” Roberts says. “I think it created the perfect storm.”

The inspiration for Roberts’s event was a Joe Rogan Experience interview that Roberts watched this summer, featuring Area 51 obsessive and self-proclaimed whistleblower Bob Lazar, a supposed ex-government engineer who has dubiously claimed to have worked on alien technology near the Air Force site. On the show, Lazar recounted what he claims is the extraterrestrial history of the base. But Roberts wasn’t taking Lazar too seriously: “First and foremost,” he says of his Facebook page, “It’s a shitposting page.”

Barbed wire and signage border a gate of the Nevada Test and Training Range, commonly referred to as Area 51, near Rachel, Nevada, on September 13, 2019.

Bridget Bennett/AFP/Getty Images

After his meme went viral, Roberts saw an opening to take the event’s notoriety and turn it into offline fame. He could become more than a screen name; he could become the face of 2019’s biggest meme. Better yet, maybe he could even make money off it.

“The whole Alienstock, Storm Area 51 thing is something that is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I feel like not taking advantage of this diving board that I’ve been given is just wasted,” Roberts says. “So I might as well move forward with it.”

Moving forward in this case initially meant directing people to the town of Rachel, Nevada, home to just 54 people, most of them retirees. Rachel’s claim to fame is that it lies just 30 miles north of Area 51, making it the closest possible gathering point for potential Area 51 raiders. (“You really won’t need a map to find places in Rachel,” the town’s slightly cynical website notes.) Roberts hooked up with the town’s sole local business, a lodge called the Little A’Le’Inn, to plan Alienstock as a Burning Man-style EDM music festival. As many as 30,000 attendees, who had already booked rooms nearby or expressed interest in driving up, were expected.

The seams started to show soon after Roberts announced Alienstock in late July. Selling tickets to an event loosely inspired by a meme suggested a shift from the ironic and self-effacing to the self-aggrandizing and profiteering — Alienstock was to be a weekend-long experience in the middle of nowhere, with parking and camping spaces costing between $60 and $140, all in order to see unnamed EDM acts and … get stoked about aliens? Roberts and the Little A’Le’Inn’s proprietor, Connie West, made few other promises.

Comparisons to Fyre Festival, the 2017 music festival-turned-criminal case, came fast, including from the citizens of Rachel itself. In mid-August, they presented a list of concerns to the commissioners of Lincoln County, Nevada, in an emphatic plea for help in preventing Alienstock from happening:

The main event organizer is a 20-year old kid. The media already likens this to the 2017 Fyre festival disaster where people paid a lot of money for a concert weekend that never happened. There are still many open law suits from that event.

An event with that many people typically takes 6-8 months to plan. The county and Rachel had 6 weeks.

Commissioners, please ask yourself: Do you really think sufficient planning has been done to be ready for this event? This can potentially ruin our county if it goes bad. It certainly will ruin Rachel.

Lincoln County Sheriff Kerry Lee told Vox in early September that the cash-strapped county was looking at spending as much as $300,000 providing additional law enforcement to support Rachel and other nearby towns during the weekend, all for an expected influx of visitors who might be looking to tempt fate by charging into Air Force territory.

“My staff has been inundated with phone calls and working on this,” Lee said. “We had to work on a law enforcement plan, communications plan, medical plan, mass casualty plan, active shooter plan — all these plans we have to put into place before this thing happens.”

He sounded exhausted. “I spend almost 100 percent of my day doing Area 51 stuff.”

A sign about the joke event Storm Area 51 hangs outside the Little A’Le’Inn information center and inn in Rachel, Nevada, on September 13, 2019.

Bridget Bennett/AFP/Getty Images

Meanwhile, Roberts and West still hadn’t offered concrete details on what visitors could expect during Alienstock, which was then set to take place September 20–22 in Rachel. Roberts had shifted away from encouraging a security breach at Area 51 and instead began offering Alienstock as counter-programming to storming the military facility. (Thankfully, he recognized the dangers of trying to raid the base. The Air Force is not playing around.)

Roberts drove to Rachel from Southern California two weeks early and posted selfies. He tweeted about anime and UFC. And he insisted that Alienstock — and he, Matty Roberts — was a brand Area 51 believers would want to buy into.

“Alienstock has always been more of a cultural movement,” said Roberts. “It was born out of the curiosity of the internet and the curiosity surrounding aliens, UFOs, everything like that, and just wanting to gather and throw cool parties.”

It’s that desire to “throw cool parties” that has inflated Roberts’s profile to troublingly unstable heights. Days after arriving in Rachel, Roberts announced that he and Alienstock had parted ways with West and the Little A’Le’Inn. He blamed a lack of “critical infrastructure” and a fear that, in West’s care, the event could become “a possible humanitarian disaster.”

“I had to try to remove any kind of association from it because I don’t want my brand, and I don’t want my face, to be associated with something as disastrous as Fyre Festival 2.0,” Roberts said. “And it could have been even worse than that with the location, the military base right there, and just the sheer controversy behind the thing. So with everything presented and not enough security or anything like that, I had no choice but to kind of try to wash my hands of the whole thing.”

Despite weeks of warnings that Rachel, Nevada, couldn’t handle an event of any size, a pre-signed state of emergency declaration (another one soon followed), and a non-existent event schedule, it took Roberts until the eleventh hour to move the event to a safer location.

He signed on to co-host an Area 51-themed party at the Downtown Las Vegas Event Center on September 19 with Bud Light as a sponsor. Alienstock — or at least, the spirit of Storm Area 51 that had driven it — was dead.

Instead, the party featured hula hoopers in neon outfits, and a few signs and shirts referencing the meme. The attendees — who could best be described as scattered — clutched cans of watery beer emblazoned with alien imagery. Though he reportedly made a brief appearance, a reporter attending the event noted that Roberts was nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, West, of the Little A’Le’Inn, insisted she would still host some kind of event in Rachel, however, with bands who will play for free. Roberts has served her with a cease-and-desist notice.

The breakdown in West’s and Roberts’s partnership is just a sliver of the drama that has ensued from the moment that Roberts declared his intent to prolong the Storm Area 51 meme. And it’s not just between Roberts and West; alien and UFO enthusiasts see Roberts as a negative presence in their communities, too.

Matty Roberts moved his Alienstock festival from its original planned location in Rachel, Nevada, to the Downtown Las Vegas Events Center at the last minute.

Ethan Miller/Getty Images

One of Roberts’s most vocal critics is the documentarian Jeremy Corbell, who happened to be a guest on that Joe Rogan podcast episode Roberts first watched. Corbell, who had spent the last seven years following Bob Lazar and spreading what they say is the word of truth about Area 51, is a passionate believer in UFO technology and greatly distrusts the government. For Corbell, the interest in Roberts’s Storm Area 51 meme reflects a huge moment — for his work, for ufology, for anyone who will entertain him or Lazar.

But Roberts, he says, is undermining all of that.

“When you’ve got the microphone, you have a responsibility to act in the same way that you talk,” Corbell says. “And if you are really concerned about safety, then you need to inform people and put aside personal gain.”

Corbell and Roberts’ relationship, according to Corbell, is a tenuous one; Corbell says that the kid from Bakersfield created Alienstock “on the sly or to the left.” And he thinks Roberts is turning this flashpoint for discussion of UFOs into a potential train wreck. Days before Alienstock was set to take place, two YouTubers jumped the gun and were arrested for trying to reach Area 51 on their own.

“This is far beyond a meme and alien Budweiser [beer]. This opportunity is far beyond that,” Corbell says. “It’s a cultural and social movement that has been going on for 30 years, since May 13, 1989,” the date that Bob Lazar first spoke out about the existence of Area 51. “Period. Full stop.”

Yet were Roberts and West really the only ones acting in their own self-interest? Corbell is also benefiting from Roberts’s mess. The more we talk about Storm Area 51 — positively or negatively — the more we push the names of Jeremy Corbell and Bob Lazar, as well as Connie West and Matty Roberts, into the public’s consciousness. Rachel, Nevada? At one point, the town was selling Storm Area 51 T-shirts on its website.

Perhaps that’s why Matty Roberts is so calm despite the chaos he’s created. No matter what happens, he’s coming out of this as someone greater than a kid with a shitposting Facebook page and fewer than 1,000 Twitter followers. He’ll be that Area 51 guy, for better or worse.

For now, he’s taking a semester off school to work on Alienstock’s future, but when he goes back, he says, he might switch his major to marketing. He’d probably be darn good at it, too.

An Extraterrestrial Highway sign posted along State Route 375 in Rachel, Nevada, on July 22, 2019.

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Tag Game

Rules: Answer 30 questions and then tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better. ⠀

I was tagged by @synnersaint and @theheathenqueendickubus and I think @ryanelizabethking too ⠀ Nicknames: – Rae, and “good girl” on lucky nights... ⠀ Gender: – Female ⠀ Star Sign: – Pisces/Aquarius cusp ⠀ Height: – 5′9″ ⠀ Time: – 10:43 pm ⠀ DOB: – February 19 ⠀ Favorite Bands: – ODESZA, NIN, the Doors... ⠀ Favorite Solo Artists: – Bishop Briggs, K-Flay  ⠀ Song Stuck In My Head: – Well now that I thought about all these artists it got unstuck but “Glass Heart” by Magic Giant is always in my head since I named my fic after it... also “Set On Fire” by them is the current theme song for Ride the Storm so... ⠀ Last Movie I Watched: – Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (gorgeous and emotionally satisfying film!!)  ⠀ Last TV Show I Watched: – finally caught up on Game of Thrones ⠀ When Did I Create My Blog?: – a few years ago to follow blogs about dragon age... actually figured out how to use the site a year ago April when I got sucked DEEP into the Expanse fandom ⠀ What Do I Post?: – Smutty fanfic, occasional sentimental fanfic, single gifs of an attractive face in slow motion, traditional gifsets, shitposts when i need to complain, shitposts when I think I’m witty, and a lot of reblogs loving on, supporting, and squeeing with all the amazing people I’ve met on here! ⠀ Last Thing I Googled: – “norse spring festival” -- oh thank god it wasn’t something more weird than that... ⠀ Do I Have Other Blogs?: – I reblog writing advice on @makethewordsgood (mostly stuff pertaining to writing a novel, I promise I’ll start one one day...) I started an Ivar side blog when I was new to the fandom at @blood-and-passion that I use to dump things I want to come back to or to archive the heathen army challenges... I tried for three days to roleplay Amos Burton at @the-rocinantes-killer and quickly learned I am not an RPer. ⠀ Do I Get Asks?: – Yes and it remains one of my favorite notifications to see when I come on this site. Nothing like it to feel important and cool! ⠀ Why Did I Choose My URL?: – copied from an old website we won’t talk about because it will date me. I had just been dumped and so I felt referencing the part of “The Last Unicorn” where she explains she can’t love a man if she goes back to her true self felt... SO deep and meaningful :P ⠀ Following: – 95 ⠀ Followers: – 880 (holy shit guys when did that happen???) ⠀ Favorite Colors: – purples and oranges/golds together ⠀ Average Hours of Sleep: – Ivar legit changed my sleeping habits. I used to be an 8-9 or I’ll hate life person, but the dark lord convinced me to get out of bed and write about him before my toddler wakes up every day, and now I’m perfectly happy with 6-7 ⠀ Lucky Number: – I don’t think I have one ⠀ Instruments: – um... the skin flute? ⠀ What Am I Wearing?: – crochet lace shorts and a t-shirt that says “Write Every Day” ⠀ How Many Blankets I Sleep With: – One heated one under my side of the big comforter because my husband huffs and can’t sleep if our room isn’t freezing at night ⠀ Dream Job: – Novelist ⠀ Dream Trip: – A tour of the major ancient temples down the Nile River ⠀ Favorite Food: – popcorn  ⠀ Nationality: – American; Irish and Czech ancestry ⠀ Favorite Song As of Now: – “Set on Fire” by Magic Giant, the aforementioned theme song for Ivar and Sigrunn at the moment ⠀ Tagging: @sabbysocks @rociposse @toknowtheweirdingway shit fam I can’t make it to 20 so I’m just gonna quit early

[anactualhyena]

Answer literally all the OC questions pls

HOO BOY THANK YOU ANON

1. Your first OC ever?

That would be Seren! She started out as my Warriors OC in sixth grade - Dragonclaw, a neon green, red, and orange cat with spike collars and bat wings. I called her the leader of Blood Clan and made her Scourge’s mate and oh lord it was a nightmare. She’s gone through a lot of redesigning through the years and now she has a feral cat form and a human form? As a cat she’s like a partially albino Norwegian forest cat with moss growing on her back and bits of fur matted with blood and an old torn dog collar she probably found on the streets and thought looked cool. As a human, she’s a muscular tribal woman bearing a large spear of sorts and clothing made from torn fabric and a tiger pelt. I like her human rendition a lot better tbh.


2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

Answered!


3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

I have! One of my old cat characters, Mandy, was a black cat with rainbow accents that I adopted years ago on DeviantART for like 5 points. Then my friend gave me her old Hetalia OC…I believe it was D.C.? As in Washington D.C.? But I don’t use my Hetalia characters anymore now that I left the fandom.


4. A character you rarely talk about?

That would definitely be Flint. Flint is a steampunk pirate character made for a Dungeons and Dragons campaign I had with a couple buddies last year. I’ve hardly talked about him at all but I love him too.


5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

Iagan!!! Iagan is my little ball of fluff and happiness that would love to brighten anyone’s day. Plus I’m pretty sure he’s the most likely of all my OCs to become popular if any of them did.


6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

YES. Flint and Feuhorbe (as a human) look a lot alike because Flint’s design was based off of Feuhorbe’s. The difference between them is that Flint is thicker than Feuhorbe and their hair, eye, and skin colors are different. That and Flint has scars and is more Spanish-based whereas Feuhorbe has vitiligo and is Brazilian.


7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

Well…Iagan is (and I cringe when I say this) an Undertale OC, and Rev is a part of a story/universe that Griffin created. Carlisle and Vincent used to follow this sort of post-apocalyptic storyline I had going for an RPG my buddy Roman was making, but the idea got scrapped and I kept the characters, so now they aren’t exactly a part of anything. And then…there’s my old Hetalia OCs…Riccione (originally Sparta), Toronto, and D.C.


8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!

I don’t actually RP as my characters anymore, but I used to RP with Riccione all the time in middle school. She’s a chubby professional dancer who runs a night club in Italy and maybe plays the violin? I can hardly remember.


9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

I mean, their old designs? Absolutely. I’m slowly selling those on my DeviantART - mostly ones I don’t use anymore, like Warriors cats and my old fursona and a few others.


10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

FEUHORBE MY LORD. He’s actually not that complicated, but his vitiligo can be difficult to draw and as a furry, he’s a horse piñata whose colors follow a specific pattern based on an actual piñata I stole from one of my friends in the dorm room across from mine after their birthday. But there’s also Zane, a genderless dog dragon demon thing that someone gifted me as an avatar on the website Whirled, who I turned into my own character. I’m not sure if they were originally someone else’s OC that was given away or what, but I can’t find any other pictures of them or their species anywhere, so I’m keeping them as my own until further notice. Their design features horns and blue to black gradients and wings with holes in them and various scars.


11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

IAGAN!!! I can’t explain it enough, he’s literally a ray of sunshine.


12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot.

Oh man…there are these animators on youtube who I watch all the time and I’m in love with their characters/fursonas. There’s Mystery, who belongs to Sleepykinq, Puppers(?), who belongs to kittydog, and Yagi, who belongs to Scotch.


13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

Sonni is my little troublemaker. He’s a jokester and also a Dungeons and Dragons character, and his only purpose is to mess with my buddy’s characters and mess up their quests.


14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

Carlisle had his arm blown off in an explosion, which also claimed his vision, but Vincent was able to build him a robotic prosthetic arm and these special goggles with LEDs that allow him to see again. That’s as tragic as it gets, really.


15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

I do! But I rather people ask me about my characters because if people don’t show initial interest, I just think I’m annoying them. A lot of times, that’s how I further develop or redesign my characters.


16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

That would have to be…Seren and Roc, honestly. Because they are “”“warriors,”“” they know things like how the body reacts to certain toxins and which vital organ, if impaled, causes the most suffering before death. But that’s more like anatomy.


17. Any OC OTPs?

Answered!


18. Any OC crackships?

I high key ship Iagan with Scotch’s character Yagi? I have no real reasoning behind it. But that’s about it.


19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

Geez…that’s kinda hard to pick. I’d probably have to say Donovan, because I’ve projected a lot of my own traits and issues onto him (being a trans guy, having depression, letting him to do all kinds of things I wanted to do but couldn’t, etc.) and he helped me cope with a lot of shit until I just relied on my persona and let Donny have his own life.


20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

Axwell actually was a choir kid growing up and can sing pretty dang well. My headcanon for his voice would be some sort of mix between Brendon Urie and David Bowie’s voices? His taste in music actually heavily varies and he doesn’t have a set favorite genre or anything - just anything with vocals. Feuhorbe love to hear him sing.

Iagan can kinda sing as well? He’s partially based off of a Samoyed, which are known as singing dogs, but it’s not one of his prominent talents. Although he can freely manipulate the sound of his voice as he pleases, his standard voice is that of JonTron’s. He’ll sing and listen to everything upbeat and cheerful.


21. Your most artistic OC

That would be Piper. Piper is a male Lolita, a ferret, sounds like cr1tikal, and is about four feet and ten inches tall. He does a lot of art, mostly of Lolita fashion and mainly uses watercolor paint.


22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

No one mischaracterizes my OCs because they aren’t popular enough for other people to even notice.


23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

Since I already talked about Seren, I’ll talk about Carlisle. He started out as my original fursona, which was a generic twinky fox with long ears and black circles around his eyes and a MLP jacket. Then he was a feral fox that became my mascot? Now he’s my bara babe (other than Vincent) and had his metal arm and LED goggles And a way better color scheme.


24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

I would absolutely love to meet either Iagan or Feuhorbe because I know I would have a really great time with either of them???? Hanging out with either of them would literally make me 10 times happier.


25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

That would have to be Donovan. He’s only two inches shorter than me (not counting his ears), about 10 pounds heavier than me, huge into music, and a trans guy.


26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

Nope. I made all changes to my characters freely.


27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

No, but I do like to think of what my characters’ theme songs would be. I’m still making that list.


28. Your most dangerous OC?

Answered!


29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

That would probably be Feuhorbe and Sonni. In it for the adventure but will not tell anyone specifically to potentially cause trouble.


30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

I would say Iagan, but it wouldn’t be a secret. So I’d have to say either Skyler (a dragon character of mine) or Carlisle.


31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Piper would try to run a pastel aesthetic blog but it’d be riddled with too many memes and shitposts and videos of him just saying and doing stupid shit.


32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

Alcatraz. He’s a lawyer but has a huge secret passion for ghosts and ghost hunting and all things paranormal, so he’d fit right into a game revolving around those things.


33. Your shyest OC?

Lukas! Lukas is a small quetzal that’s big into Harajuku fashion and he is the shyest little guy alive. But he’d probably get along well with Piper.


34. Do you have any twin characters?

Nope.


35. Any sibling characters?

Yes!!! Donovan, Carlisle, and Alcatraz are my three fox brothers. Donny is the youngest and Alcatraz is the oldest.


36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

Yes! But they’re only with my boyfriend because I haven’t found anyone else who wants to ship their characters with mine.


37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

I mean,,,the only set human characters I have are Flint and Axwell and my Hetalia characters, unless you count the human designs for my furry and feral characters. None of them are really a mix and could be considered not quite human except for Sonni, who is the most humanlike out of my non human OCs. He’s very lanky and appears malnourished and has three eyes and is covered in short, dark hair/fur. He has a short stubby tail and tall “ears” and has six arachnid-like appendages protruding from his back that he can crawl on.


38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

That would be Riccione and Donovan, who are actually dancers! Riccione is a professional dancer, whereas Donovan shuffles and such as a hobby.


39. Introduce any character you want

Bow Echo is a griffin that’s a mix between a bobcat and a peregrine falcon. She can fly super fast and I need to develop her more.


40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!
41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

A few people have! They’re on my ArtFight profile under Defenses!

http://artfight.net/~CyberFoxFire


42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

That would be Rev. The universe he’s from revolves around many entities similar to those found in Greek and Roman mythology, with him being basically the embodiment of the Ragnarök.


43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

Ok…I love making them around six feet tall or taller and giving them facial hair and choppy short hair that can be pulled back in low ponytails. But I’m trying to stop that and make them more diverse.


44. Something you like about your OCs in general

They all represent different aspects of my personality and I make really deep connections with them because of that.


45. A character you no longer use?

Jacobi. He’s just some Scottish guy that wears flannels. I’m selling him on DeviantART eventually.


46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

Nah. It’s mostly anons that tell me things about my OCs, like how they look like internet cancer. Not that I mind, I mean, come on. They all look like hell lmao


47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

I think? When I first joined the Osomatsu-San Network, one of the first things I did was talk about my OCs with some other the other members. One might’ve claimed Iagan or someone else, I can’t really remember.


48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

IAGAN!!!! And also Lukas!!


49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

That would be Piper, Sonni, Donovan, Feuhorbe, and Iagan.


50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

Uh…I think I’ve talked about literally everything I can think of off the top of my head. Feel free to message me though if you want to talk about OCs!