#saying this as an extension of my gripes with AQ in general

[reds-skull]

Bringer of Demise - Chapter 6

[PREV PART] [AO3]

I was worried this chapter is gonna end up short as well, until the final day of writing, where I added like 1.1k words in one sitting lol.

I am so excited about the next chapter... When I say I've been waiting months to write it..... >:)

Anyway, this one is "The Abandoned"

… Farah has a brother? Didn’t she say-

“You-” Commander Karim wheezes, “I am not your sister, you are nothing but dirt, a lowlife dog-” she trembles as coughs cut her off.

The revenant doesn’t react like Soap expects. With a sad upturn of his brows, he says, “we will always be family, Farah. It doesn’t matter, that you hate me.”

Soap attempts to push off the floor with shaky arms, only to be stopped by a soldier cocking their rifle towards his head. The revenant, Farah’s brother, stops him. “Revenant of Destruction. Bullets don’t do much to kill you, do they?”

“Yer welcome teh try.” Soap snarls.

“I’ll take your word.” Farah’s brother walks away, crouching down beside her. When he reaches for her arm, Farah grabs his wrist, shoving it off with a growl. “Let me help you, sister.”

“I don’t need your fucking help, Hadir.” she spits, eyes wide and furious, “I had hope, before, that you would see reason, but taking our own brothers and sisters, experimenting on them for- for an American bastard, you’re beyond saving.”

Hadir sighs. “We both know this war can’t be fought with only our forces, anymore. Price’s taskforce is here for a reason, no?” he directs a look at Soap. “The American has his uses. And so do the revenants.”

Farah barks a mirthless laugh, “is that how you see our people? Nothing but a tool for your gain?” she bares her teeth, voice barely restrained, “you’re no better than Barkov.”

That seems to finally set him off. Hadir rears back, breath hitched, endless flow of gas ceasing for a moment. He inhales slowly, exhales slower. Soap notices a new shine in his green eyes.

“There is no other way to face what lays in our future, sister.”

Farah scoffs, “there is always-”

“There is none. You know me. You know it pains me to do this as much as it pains you to see it. I would never even contact the General if I had a choice.” Hadir looks away, his breath picking up, “it is this evil, or a monstrosity beyond our comprehension.”

He offers a hand to Farah, with gentleness that is soured by the noxious gas filling their lungs. “With you, and the revenants of the 141, we may have a chance. Join us-”

“No.” 

Hadir winces, “sister, please listen to me-”

“No. You will let us go, and you will not intercept the evacuation of the revenants.” Farah’s voice lowers, “and next time, it will be you we are coming after, so I suggest you and the American scum you call an ally keep away from my people.”

Hadir frowns. Retracting his hand, he nods. “For the last of our family, I will do that. I have a request of my own, however.”

“You’re in no positions to make requests.”

He ignores her, “let me talk to Alex. I know he’s here.”

Farah freezes. She looks back at Soap, and he shakes his head. Whatever the history between these three is, it goes far beyond this facility. Giving intel to Hadir would be unadvisable.

The Commander seems to disagree, and in a move that surprises both him and Hadir, unclasps her radio and hands it to him.

At Hadir’s confused expression, she huffs, “Keller knows where the line is, and when not to cross it. Nothing you say will convince him otherwise.”

“I know.” Hadir clicks the radio on, and Alex’s voice comes through, “-Reapers damn it, answer me! We got the hostages out, we’re waiting on you-!”

“Alex. Farah is safe, you have nothing to worry about.”

“... Hadir.”

“I am not going to take long, though it has been… a while since we talked.” Hadir motions his men away, the soldiers leaving through the door they first burst out of.

“I will not ask you to join our forces, I understand your loyalties are blinding you at the moment. I simply wish to warn you. Makarov has in his ranks revenants that see through your powers. Do not attempt to infiltrate any of his bases.”

“And how do I know you’re telling the truth?”

“You don’t. But I have no reason to lie to you, brother. We may not be on the same side anymore, but I don’t wish to see you die to him.” he lowers his gaze, “I don’t wish to see any of you die by his hand.”

Hadir gives the radio back to Farah before Alex can answer. They share one last look, and he leaves.

Commander Karim lowers her head, heaving for breath. Soap allows her a moment, before speaking.

“What are your orders, Commander?”

Karim gets up, slinging her rifle over her shoulder with weariness, “the hostages are out, mission accomplished. Time to exfil, Sergeant.”

Alex meets them first. Appearing out of thin air, he startles Soap so much that he almost loses the precarious balance he barely maintained throughout their walk out of the warehouse. Farah is no better off in that regard, but she’s more used to Keller’s abilities than him.

He catches Soap before he can fall, “need med evac?”

“No.” he groans, “jus’ air.”

Alex keeps an arm around him, helping him along, “You’ll feel better in a few, first time is the worst.”

“You’ve inhaled it too?”

“Had the honor to, yes. The Russians use the same type of gas. That’s how he died.” Keller mutters under his breath. Farah scowls.

Soap pauses for a moment when they come across a group of Al-Mudahiyn’s soldiers. The hostiles, however, ignore them. Hadir kept his word. They move past them, silently, and he hears them whisper Farah’s name.

They manage to get to the helo soon enough, and Soap lets Keller go and help Farah, who has been listing to the side for a while now. Doesn’t matter if you’ve inhaled it before, can’t build tolerance to that kind of gas.

Seeing Ghost, Gaz and Price again feels like the band around his chest finally loosens, allowing him to take deep breaths once more. They look concerned, to put it mildly, but not surprised. Keller must’ve radioed in.

“Mate…” Gaz starts, getting out of his sit to help Soap up, but he shakes his head. He can walk, most of his wounds are healed by now.

He drops next to Ghost, whose eyes haven’t left him, still as a statue.

“What happened, Sergeant?” Price starts, but Soap shakes his head again. He’s tired, his lungs burn, head both light and heavy.

He lets his head hit the back of the helo with a dull thunk, and closes his eyes. “Can’t. Not now, sir.” the ‘please’ is left unsaid, but the Captain can probably hear it all the same.

Blessedly, Price lets it go, and the helo takes off. Soap opens his eyes only to make sure Gaz is fine, finding him holding the straps around his chest tightly, with his stare burning a hole in the floor. If he had any energy to, Soap might’ve felt afraid as well. As it stands, though…

He tries to rest, tries to find comfort in the still figure next to him. Never drifting into sleep, instead staying in a sort of limbo. Not the one that he wants to be in, not one that makes him feel safe.

All he wants to do is forget this mission, the images seared and reignited in his mind. He doesn’t deserve to forget.

Remembering his sins is the only way to make sure they are never to be repeated.

Ghost doesn’t talk when he drags him to medical. Doesn’t react when Soap tells him he’s fine. Once the medic checks him over, confirming that there is nothing she can do for him, Ghost takes his shoulder and stirs him away.

After a few turns, Soap realizes he’s taking them to the barracks.

Gently, Ghost pushes him through a door, into a dark room, lined with two bunk beds. He flicks a light on, the bulb yellow and flickering, and moves to stand in front of Soap.

“... Ghost?” Soap asks, worry bubbling up the longer he stays silent. Ghost’s fingers wrap around the straps of his tacvest, working on unclasping them and taking equipment off. “Simon-” he tries again, and snaps his mouth shut when Ghost growls.

More roughly than before, Ghost takes the vest off, his hands not leaving his body, instead moving to the holes littering his shirt. It strikes Soap after a few moments, that he’s counting them.

Guilt wrapping tight around his heart, Soap understands Ghost is angry at him. He takes the hands roaming his torso in his own burning ones, making brown eyes look at his.

“Ah’m sorry, Simon.”

Finally, Ghost responds, spitting the words, “don’t you fucking dare apologize.”

Soap frowns, “then why are ye-”

“I’m mad that I couldn’t stop it. Mad that I followed orders, when I knew it risks you more than anything. Mad at that fucking doctor, Mad at-” Ghost’s hands clasp his tightly, “I- fuck, Johnny-”

Soap cuts him off, dragging him into an embrace, singeing the fabric of his shirt. Ghost lets out a shaky breath, before burying his head in his shoulder.

“I’m not easy to kill, mo chridhe.”

“That’s not why I’m- I know.” Ghost struggles to find the right words, sentences ending before Soap can really understand what’s making him feel like this, “I’m just- I can’t-”

“I’m fine. With you, with Gaz and Price, I’ve never been safer-”

Ghost snarls, pulling back and forcing Soap to face him, “that doesn’t mean bloody anything! What they did to you before-”

“Then what is it? Talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.”

With a flurry of movement, Simon rips the mask off his face, pressing his forehead to Soap’s so forcibly that it almost hurts. In a low voice, so weak and defeated, he whispers through bisected lips, “this is what you were used to, right?”

“This?”

“Pain. To be hurt and heal, only to be hurt again. I can’t- I can’t stand by and watch you get used to it again.” Simon chokes out, his thumbs caressing Soap’s cheeks.

He blinks up at him, “you’re worried about that?” such a small thing, his comfort, when the rest of the world’s fate is on the other side of the scale.

Simon’s lips turn downwards. “I don’t know what you were before the 141, but if it was anything like me, I never want to see you like that.” he leans down, pressing his lips to Soap’s hairline. “To be made less human, to lose yourself.”

Soap shudders, his thoughts going back to a headless body. Control is something he has to maintain at all times, an unnegotiable fact about his powers. To lose it would mean to destroy without distinction, to lose himself would mean to lose Simon.

And he can’t lose Simon. He can’t. He can’t.

The memory of a headless body beneath his hands flashes in his mind. He did lose control there, for a moment, of the raging monster lurking beneath his skin. A wildfire that stops for no one. A black hole, hunger unending, has no limits.

He can’t let it happen again. For Simon’s sake, for Gaz and Price, for everyone here.

“It won’t happen.” he grinds between bared teeth, Simon’s lips grazing his cheeks, “Ah won’t let it happen.” fire crackles in his hands.

Simon’s voice is low in his ears when he answers, “I know you won’t. Because I will not let it happen as well, love.”

‘I got you’, slips between the words.

And it scares him, how easy it is to believe that.

“If we want to get to Shepherd, we’ll need to get to Hadir.” Farah begins, arms crossed and shoulders tense, “to get to him, we go through Al-Mudahiyn. It won’t be as easy the second time - they know we’re coming, and they know the revenants in our ranks.”

“Then we just find a place where the element of surprise won’t matter.” Price grunts, the Commander nodding in agreement.

The Captain fiddles with the laptop in the middle of the table, “have you gotten any intel on his location, Laswell?”

Laswell types something on her keyboard, face lighting up for the first time in weeks. Soap feels a pang of empathy for her, when he remembers she has to work practically 24/7 while her wife is still in the hospital. He hopes the CIA gives her some vacation time after all of this is over…

“If we can’t surprise them, we overwhelm them.” she brings up a few maps on the screen, the group of soldiers having to huddle together to see them.

“Those are the borders between Al-Mudahiyn and Russian territories…” Farah mutters, “you want us to capture Hadir while he’s fighting Makarov’s forces.”

“Correct.” areas marked by red and yellow flash on, Laswell continuing, “with his men spread thin by Makarov, you’ll be able to take Hadir easily.”

Gaz clicks his tongue, “that’s bloody risky, though. What if Makarov is there?”

“Makarov himself can’t hurt you, Sergeant.” Laswell stares at Kyle, oddly confrontational. Price butts in before Gaz can say another word.

“The likelihood of him being there is low, especially when we got reports of him in Finland less than a day ago. Konni isn’t like the ULF or Al-Mudahiyn, their leader doesn’t fight unless he has a reason to.”

“We could be givin’ him one…” Soap says, deciding to back up Gaz. “Bastard can see the future.”

“Do you have a better idea, MacTavish?” Laswell replies with a sharp tone. Soap opens his mouth to shoot back when Price stops him.

“Let it go, lad. Kate’s right, even if it is risky, we don’t have any other leads.”

Soap sighs. Fine. They better get that fucker Shepherd soon, or he’ll start saying some things Price will really hate-

“Better keep ‘em for later then, hm?” Price echos in his mind.

He shoots the Captain a side-eye, before remembering Laswell is waiting for an answer.

“... No. What’s yer plan?”

As their mission is planned for the following week, the 141 finds themselves with a bit of free time. After the debrief, Ghost and him go to their barrack room. Apparently, Gaz is also staying with them, but he had to go “cool off” according to Price. Which could mean a million things, but if he needs to be alone, Soap isn’t going to bother him.

A hand pulled him back as he was going to climb to the top bunk. Wordlessly, Ghost nodded towards the bottom one. It would be absolutely cramped, the tiny cot barely fitting one of them.

Soap finds himself with a handful of Ghost, the big bastard curling around him like a content kitten.

He drifts off to dreamless sleep, mind empty in a way he can’t achieve by himself anymore. He hadn’t known such tranquility can exist before Simon held him for the first time. It’s maddening. It’s perfect.

It’s hard to tell the hour in the mountain base. Unless you look at a clock or go all the way out, the lights are always on, soldiers always ambling around in the halls.

Soap has found Gaz after waking up, floating just above the treeline, staring off into the horizon. If he wasn’t muttering out loud, he wouldn’t have noticed him.

Kyle had a talk with Price, as it turns out. Told the Captain that he has a bad feeling about Laswell’s plan, in a way he never had before. That something’s off with her. Well, more off than it already is.

Soap didn’t have much to say about it. He doesn’t know Laswell like the rest of them, their shared history mere months to the years the 141 worked with her. Not for the first time, he feels that speck of otherness. It comes up occasionally, when Gaz and Ghost share a private joke, or Price recounts a mission from the past.

He shakes it off fast, though. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t been here that long, when it feels more like home than any other place on earth.

So he does the only thing he can do for Gaz - distract him by shooting the shit. Which turns out to be pranking people, by having Kyle hang from the ceiling and scare anyone unfortunate enough to pass by.

“Wait- Gaz wheesht! Someone’s coming!” Soap suppresses his giggles, pushing at his friend’s back.

Gaz floats back up, and Soap goes to his hiding spot behind a corner, a hand on his mouth. Two highly-trained soldiers, and they can’t even keep quiet for one minute.

Just as their next victim turns to the hallway, Gaz drops with a little “boo!”, before freezing.

Soap can practically feel the smile melting off his face when he sees who it is. Commander Karim raises an eyebrow at them, her eyes turning to look at him, and back at Kyle.

“I was wondering who was messing with my soldiers. I know you have nothing better to do, but they do, so I’d suggest you find a different hobby.” Farah says, the message clear.

“Aye, Commander. We didn’t mean to do any harm.” Soap says, elbowing Gaz when he keeps staring at her.

“Y-yes! Sorry, won’t do it again.” Kyle startles.

Farah gives them a half-smile, “no need to be so serious, Sergeant.” she tells Gaz, who looks away. “I was actually searching for you, Soap.”

He perks up, “Samara wishes to talk to you. About your Reaper, I assume.”

“Samara-? Oh.” right. She’s probably been here since the rescue mission. “Where is she?”

“Outside. Was cleared by medical just a few minutes ago.”

He nods, clapping Gaz on the shoulder, “come up with a new thing teh do by the time I’m back, aye?”

Gaz scoffs with a smile, “fuck off. ‘Least you won’t be bored out of your mind.”

He’d rather be that, if he’s honest.

Samara hears him before he can gather his thoughts, his footsteps loud as they crunch branches and leaves. She motions to the remaining space on the fallen log she’s sitting on, and Soap settles, his knee beginning to jump up and down almost instantly.

He doesn’t look up from the ground, even when he feels her stare boring at him. “I don’t believe we had a proper introduction, John.”

Soap winces at the name, “right.” he offers his hand, “John MacTavish, Sergeant at taskforce 141, SAS. Ye can call me Soap.”

“Samara Jalal. Former ULF fighter. They called me “Pathfinder”, but I intended to leave that name in the past,” Samara shakes his hand, uncaring for the flames licking her skin. Probably doesn’t even feel them…

Soap inhales deeply, his leg shaking faster, “Commander Karim said ye wanted to talk about our- your Reaper.”

“It is ours. At least… I believe it is.” Samara frowns, “Destruction told me about you and another person, a ‘Simon Riley’, before leaving, but I haven’t been able to find them.”

Hearing Ghost’s name being thrown around so casually feels wrong. “Simon is… most people don’t know him by that name. Ah can pass a message to him, if ye want.” he registers the second part of her sentence, “wait, what do ye mean by ‘leaving’?”

Samara sighs, a short laugh falling from her lips, “after… what you did, whatever it was… I haven’t been able to talk to Destruction. It told me… it told me our deal still stands, but that we have to be abandoned.” she narrows her eyes at him, “I asked it for your names, how many of us are still out there. Didn’t think I’d have a chance to meet you, but I was curious.”

“I…” Soap’s leg stops bouncing. Destruction abandoned them? What could it mean, for Samara?

How could it just… leave them?

“I’m sorry.” he says, and it feels like it means nothing.

“Don’t be. I don’t care. Destruction… it has a way to make you feel…”

“Out of control?”

She smiles, “you got it. It probably goes for all Reapers, but Destruction’s gifts feel like a double-edged sword.” her expression becomes somber, “the things I survived… there are times I felt like I shouldn’t have.”

“... Feels like a curse.” Soap whispers, his chest squeezing uncomfortably.

Samara looks away, “there is an end to it, Soap. Retirement, family. Love. Things that give you a reason to live, beyond chaos and war.”

He huffs, “not to be an arsehole, but it didn’t end up well for either of us.”

“I suppose it didn’t, did it?” Samara chuckles, “but I believe it could.”

Soap doesn’t answer, letting silence settle between them. He wants to call Samara naive for hoping so surely, but he understands it doesn’t come from lack of awareness.

And a part of him can’t help but agree, when he thinks of his team. With them, he does see a good ending, among the million bad ones he conjures in his mind.

If he has to, Soap will carve that ending himself, burn any red string that dares stand in his way to it. Perhaps, his powers can be used for good, for once.

As long as it’s not over yet, they have a chance.

[narwhalandchill]

uhhh anyway. so like yesterday was my first time ever doing story day 1 and i have many Thoughts about the AQ. mostly positive unfortunately my major gripes do relate to the childe/narwhal situation which kinda dampens the overall experience more than any other part being underwhelming would given (gestures in general direction of self). like we all know the multitude of diseases i have on the subject 💀

dunno how much of a complete nonsense rambley writeup thisll be i think i might take some time to sort out my overall thoughts and write sth more coherent specifically on childe/narwhal stuff, maybe leave out some other aspects i have more pointed thoughts on as well so this wont get mega long but eh lets see. this just all kinds of thoughts i have for now And its a mess so Beware

anyway. firstly. as scarred as i am by melus and silver. Its also just. holy shit man theyre truly just straight up tapdancing on teppeis grave like THIS is how you write NPC deaths in an actually emotionally impactful way. dunyarzad was a massive glow up already in terms of NPC writing in general but she didnt die so. but like the way their characters and bond to both callas and navia is built up and how the writers actually managed to make them feel like such dynamic people even if their roles are ultimately quite straightforward made their fates just... genuinely heartbreaking like what the fuck 😭😭😭 AND THE WAY THEY STILL SAVED NAVIA FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE AND SAID THEIR FAREWELLS I JUST. I CANT. i just teared up thinking about it again

idk what could be said about navia that hasnt been said a gigabillion times before like. Wow. she is just. Truly the moment. like she fucking blindsided my ass in 4.0 bc i wasnt expecting anything like how dynamic and compelling and complex her arc and characterization has been like. everything about navia her resolve her grit her experiences and her bravery and stubbornness just feels so incredibly human and raw and she is just? a wonderful character i never foresaw falling in love with her this much like truly. and she delivered JUST as hard in 4.2 too like if it werent for navia being the conduit through which we first experience the devastation of poisson i dont think it wouldve ever hit as hard as it did. i just wanna comfort her shes already been thru so much yet i also admire her insistence to keep going and keep living like man 😭😭😭 give her a happy story quest hoyo idgaf if it gets called shallow or some bs she deserves a break!!!!!

i think some ppl are disappointed by arles relative lack of presence in fontaine overall and while i get that i can genuinely say that its been so fucking refreshing to have an AQ centering on a conflict thats not entirely or mostly fatui based. its not like the weight or intimidation factor of arlecchinos presence has been any lesser just bc shes been largely on the same side as us. like personally i just Really enjoyed seeing her characterization throughout. the way shes been just so reasonable thus far makes me extra excited for whenever she might actually snap (at least hopefully she will). like both childe and scara think shes fucking insane?????? but yea. i also really enjoy arles dynamic with the HoH kids too like. i do think she genuinely cares for them in a way but i highly doubt thats all there is to it. and thats really neat. goes for things like her help to spina di rosula and poisson too; theres definitely strings attached to that aid lmao. even if arle has no particularly malicious designs in mind, shes a harbinger. like cmon. and i really like that!!

i dont have like. that extensive thoughts abt what i call the . uhhh. this is mean but extended cast of act 5 JKJKDWJKDJKAJK like HoH gang, clorinde, sigewinne, wrio. tho i do very much appreciate that clorinde dodged the sara allegations for good like. it was looking a little bit unfortunate in 4.0. her role wasnt super major but i love her english VA and this kind of grounded sort of character she ultimately is. also sigewinne jumpscare during furinas trial i love her so much.

mona n nicoles thing was unfortunately mostly a whateverburger for me bc. im sorry im not that interested in hexenzirkel lmao i feel like such an outlier in any lore discussion circles bc im just not that hype about them (gold is an icon however) idk why. it was neat, it happened, didnt bring any mega hype. what i liked the most was honestly just the talk with mona about destiny and fighting against it and all. she really felt like a friend trying to help us navigate our thoughts on this insane horrible situation going on!!

in terms of plot things uhhh i went in mostly blind? as to the actual events. i had spoiled myself a bit on some specific aspects (my own fault) but ultimately most had no effect on how much i enjoyed everything. also lowering my expectations on the. ahem. worries i had abt childe that unfortunately came true so i was less let down on the spot wjjkajkwdjkwd. my biggest issue was actually that i had to progress lyneys story quest TWO FUCKING TIMES by a pretty notable amount bc it was blocking locations. and that dumbass office drama world quest like i was morbing.

a particular standout moment (beyond the Obvious. i need not name it THE LAUGH THE FUCKING THUMBS DOWN also singed FL can kinda lowkey 100% absolutely get it) for me was when i was so invested in our conversation with furina in poisson and in the magic box that i actually fucking forgor about the whole trap scheme thing even existing and then the box fell open and i was like WAIT WHAT THE FUCK and started laughing for like a solid 5 minutes i was caught so off guard. what an incredible moment. bc like. when the thing we were hiding in w furina started shaking i was just hell yeah narwhal modcheck? narwhal modcheck? bc obviously i would. and didnt question for a second that it could be something else. like the trap we were LITERALLY plotting to set up just a bit earlier it actually killed me. altho the fact that one of the cursed lyney quest situations were in between the scheming scene and the poisson segment prolly had to do with it. anyway it was just really funny

i think this post is gonna take me 287382 years to finish if im gonna go into the like furina character arc situation and her trial and focalors and all that shit super in depth (+ narwhal/skirk things) but like. BELIEVE me i fucking loved it so much like its so awful and painful and horrible and just. best written archon easily. zhongli n venti i think r very well written but theyre p static characters bc oldies so its a bit different. raiden is. inazuma moment no comment needed. nahida is good but tbh i never truly reconciled with the way rukkha getting irminsuled sorta just erased the central conflict behind her inferiority complex so it somewhat ruined her character arc for me even if it did make me cry and i do love her chara overall. but furina i think they executed the whole setup and reveals and everything so incredibly well its insane like. god. 500 years........ and like. the way furinas arc just flops everything uve known about her and the interactions uve had with her sideways and turns it upside down realizing the predicament shes been in and what shes been grappling with. its just incredible man. harrowing but incredible like they truly delivered on that one. like that portion of the finale was just really well done

anyway not all thoughts i have by any means but whatever. ive just been Thinking. overall had a great time with the AQ n cutscenes in particular are only getting better and better, i thiiiiink this one tops sumeru for me? but like its sorta unfair bc i was never a scara stan whereas. even a narratively mishandled narwhal is a fucking world-devouring narwhal. unfair advantage. childe being there at all even if i have my gripes is too much points in favor KJWJKWJKDWDJKJK. theres things that make me really hopeful for the future writing but also things that concern me. so its an interesting situation rn. but im glad it went as ambitious as it did even if my fave got arguably sidelined the most. just hoping they actually do sth more with childe sooner than later if they want to leave all those loose ends unaddressed in 4.2. interlude rights PLEASE