#saw first contact the other day and it's rotted my brain since

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

Bat Family— Star Trek AU💫.

"Captain’s log, Stardate 688 09.9:

4 weeks in the big chair and it still takes me an extra second to remember it’s my final orders the bridge waits on. Today, my chatty science officer even told me “careful, Grayson; even a small leak can sink a great ship”. I told the kid I’d make sure to put it in my log so here it is.

It has been only 6 weeks since the so-called “New Gods” attacked the Federation, and the Long Shadows and its brave, young crew are not just grieving the loss of their captain but one of our world’s finest…;a man whom, despite our rocky history, I saw as a brother. Aboard the Federation’s lead emergency and rescue vessel, our crew is, on a daily, reckoning with the fallout of the final crisis in the Alpha Quadrant and the power vacuum left in its wake. Firefighting aside, our crew is also adapting, rather hurriedly, to the musical chairs in both senior and junior staff.

I began my career on the bridge of this fateful ship and somehow I always find my way back to it. It wasn’t long ago that I was a small, cocky, upstart ensign, masking tragedy with a smile. I was just lucky that my captain saw something he liked in me. “I’ll be head monkey before you know it” I used to tell Bruce and, cruelly, that was closer to the truth than I could have imagined. It’s strange how much of an imposter I feel in his chair— my chair now. Just weeks ago, I was commanding the Big Apple, which gives me more pleasure than I can say but…this— this ship is different; Bruce made it his and to take over as their captain? I should know more than anyone; the show must go on. I’ve spent too much time treating this role as a memorial. It’s time to properly redefine the role as my own. Life’s a carnival and it’s time I take the stage.

My first act as captain was appointing Ens. Wayne as my chief science officer; the very role I served under his father when I was an ensign no older than him. This may raise eyebrows but, while I can’t always excuse the kid’s abrasiveness and pride, I want it on record that I have my full confidence in his abilities. Ens. Wayne is a determined and focused officer whose brilliant thinking has already saved dozens of lives. Any sniff of bigotry regarding his Romulan heritage, on and off this ship, will be dealt with directly by me. And Miss Brown. He’s a diamond in the rough but I expect the rest of my seasoned bridge crew to rub off on him. There’s something written in the stars about a captain and their science officer, and there’s no one on this crew as ready as Damian to begin a new chapter in their story; we’re gonna be a hell of a duo.

I have worked closely with Counselor Brown since she returned to The Shadows from service on the medical vessel Katavi. Miss Brown is inspiringly driven. She’s a practiced medic though an unconventional choice for a counselor but I’m sure she’d take that as a compliment. She has a magnetic charm and a gift for connecting with others, and is a savvy diplomat when she remembers to not to think aloud. She was always prone to the odd risk, especially when lives are on the line in the field, though it’s safe to say that she never runs out of ideas. “If I was gonna play by the book, I’d have never left Earth,” she told me recently. Dr. Pennyworth claims she reminds him of…well, me but I don’t know, I don’t really see it. Perhaps the lines between bravery and recklessness are blurrier than I thought, and maybe every starship needs medics and counselors with Miss Brown’s unyielding dedication to the wellbeing of others.

It’s been a… a pleasure to serve alongside Cmdr. Gordon again, after almost 2 years. Sometimes it is…a lot to share a bridge with someone who’s known you so inti— known you for so long. Especially when tensions are high. Nonetheless, there is no one on this ship I trust more to set me straight if need be. In fact, there may be no one on this ship I trust more. This ship would have never left its dock if we didn’t have Cmdr. Gordon in charge of operations. Barbara’s truly the ship’s 411— if there were two of her, I’d opt to retire the ship’s computer. She’s a born leader; also responsible for the appointment of half of my senior bridge staff and she comfortably takes the big chair when required. We’ve always made a great team, which will mean a few clashes and compromises too. To whoever it may concern, we’ll keep things professional this time, I promise…

Lt. Cmdr. Bertinelli is a stellar security chief and it’s in these uncertain times that her very own Atlas of Organised Crime is consulted significantly, on and off this ship. I’ll admit that the two of us haven’t had the smoothest of working— or personal— relationships in the past but “the past” is all it is. I’m happy to call Helena one of my greatest allies— and friends. It’s been lovely to see someone so solitary find a family on board this ship. I may not always see eye-to-eye with Cmdr. Bertinelli but I have no qualms in saying that she would be a captain by now if Star Fleet tribunal and their rulings against her weren’t riddled with rigid hierarchies and double standards.

My 1st Officer, Lt. Cmdr. Kane, certainly knows how to run a tight ship. She has made it clear that she thinks mine lacks a little discipline and caution. Her security background really shows and we definitely have different styles in leadership but hopefully the Shadows can get the best out of both worlds. In her words; “this ship is facing a different breed of threat and disaster every day, so it needs a different breed of crew”. She’s happy to take the bridge when an away team is needed so she’s probably spent more time in the captain’s chair than I have by now. 

Lt. Cmdr. Montoya was an instrumental player in Star Fleet’s response to the final crisis and she is determined to honour the memory of the late Mr. Sage, whose post she has assumed. She’s a veteran investigator who’s quickly learning the ropes to service aboard a starship and she already sets a high bar on scouting and espionage assignments. Cmdr.s Kane, Montoya and Bertinelli, form a simply excellent criminal investigation team, although I won’t pretend to understand their more personal relationships with each other.

Doctor Pennyworth, as he was before, has been my rock. He’s the heart of this ship, and he does a solid job at keeping its crew alive and well. The Shadows just isn’t the Shadows without him.

It’s no secret how hard Lt. Drake is taking Capt. Wayne’s passing— his regular counselling sessions with Miss Brown too often end in a screaming match in the hallway. For the record, I stand by my decision to give Mr. Drake’s bridge posting to Ens. Wayne and put Mr. Drake in charge of engineering. The Ensign is a real prodigy and needs this show of good faith while Mr. Drake, who has been a brilliant science officer to Capt. Wayne for almost 4 years, deserved the chance to step out of his old captain’s shadow. Nonetheless, our relationship has soured since I, in his words, “kicked him off my bridge” but that is not to say I don’t have the utmost faith in his performance as our new chief engineer.

Lt. Cain has been distant…let me rephrase that— Lt. Cain has been taken to self-isolating since the captain’s passing. Counselor Brown says sometimes she’ll go almost an entire counseling session without saying a word. Funny enough, when I suggested joint sessions with Mr. Drake, the counselor told me to get out of her office. Babs— Cmdr. Gordon, sorry, insists Miss Cain will come around in time; she knows she is among dear friends. She continues to be reliable and cool under pressure at the ship’s helm, adept at assignments in zero-G, and a clinical melee fighter when it’s called for. Yesterday, I suggested that she also head combat training down at security and she smiled, so maybe she will take up that offer.

On a ship so aptly named, it’s hard to forget that old sins cast long shadows. We now reckon with both old foes and threats unforeseen, which place the now vulnerable Federation in jeopardy and expose the cracks in its facade. It’s almost as if the ship herself questions how well we learn from history, and how history will remember us."

[abitterboy]

Taste Of Your Universe

Summary: Hyunjin loves Felix's freckles and wants to let Felix know just how much.

Pairing: Hyunjin x Felix

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Soft fluffy stuff, smut (duh), gay, insecure Felix, sappy lines that made me kick my feet istg, body worshiping, consent kink, softer sex, oral, dom/sub and top/bottom, fingering, anal, a lot of kissing, shy Felix, light desperation, light teasing, sex without protection.

(The other day I was trying to find photos of Felix’s freckles and sadly remembered the fact that he used to not like them and then this brain rot happened. Think of this set a couple years ago instead of current 2023 Hyunjin and Felix.)

An alarm rang through the room causing the boy in bed to reach his hand to find his phone and silence it. He looked at the time and knew he couldn’t sleep any longer even though he was still tired. He put on the shirt he left at the foot of his bed before sleeping and shuffled out of his room. Like every morning for the past few months, Felix was in there bright and early. Felix had already covered the counter in makeup products and was applying his foundation. 

“Hyunjin do you see any of my freckles?” 

Felix always asked this question when Hyunjin came in to pee now and Hyunjin always hated it. He couldn’t understand why Felix wanted to cover his natural beauty. What Felix saw as imperfections, Hyunjin saw as a distinctive feature of the one he loved. 

But he could never bring himself to say that. 

“Looks like it but lemme check..”

Hyunjin washed his hands, then put his hand on Felix’s face to move it side to side in order to fully check. He moved in closer to look at a spot on Felix's face. His finger rose to the dot to show Felix where he had missed a spot. Once his finger landed on the freckle, Hyunjin stopped looking at it and instead looked up, simultaneously making eye contact with Felix. It was only now that he realized just how close he was to the younger boy. Hyunjin let go of Felix and looked away to go about his morning routine. Felix stood in place for a second before turning to the mirror and adding concealer over the freckle Hyunjin pointed out. While they were both in the bathroom, they stayed silent and went about their morning routines that way. 

~Later that day~

All the boys returned home and showered in order to quickly get clean and get some rest. The last two to shower were Hyunjin and Felix. 

“You wanna go first or should I?” 

Hyunjin asked Felix knowing that Felix would take longer due to needing to wash all his makeup off but he was willing to wait if that meant the younger got a good amount of rest. Felix insisted that Hyunjin shower first since Felix knew he took longer than his bandmate. Hyunjin went to his room and got his towel and rushed to the bathroom so Felix wouldn’t have to wait much longer than he already had. Hyunjin went into the shower and came out after around five minutes, the towel wrapped around his hips. He went to go knock on Felix's door but saw it was open and decided to walk in to tell him the shower was open. 

Hyunjin chuckled lightly when he saw Felix laid out on his bed. It was a funny position and didn't look the slightest bit like how Felix normally slept. His arms and legs were spread out and he looked like a starfish with his feet dangling off the foot of his bed. Hyunjin quickly ran to his room to slide a pair of sweats on and ran back to help Felix. He started by squatting down to take his shoes and socks off and then lightly tapped his shoulder to wake up his friend. Felix opens his eyes and slowly lifts his torso. A laugh escapes Hyunjins lips. 

“You can't sleep like this. Let me help you.”

Felix moves forward so his feet can touch the ground and Hyunjin looks up at the younger. Felix takes his sleeves and wipes his eyes as if trying to wipe away his tiredness. When he takes his sleeves off his face he put them down and didnt realize the makeup smudges he just put on his new black jacket. Hyunjin did though and gasps. 

“Felix! Let's get this off you and I’ll go wash the sleeves in the sink real quick.” 

Hyunjin helps Felix take off his jacket slowly as Felix groggily moves. 

“Then I’m gonna come back and get the rest of that off your face for you.“

Hyunjin walked to the bathroom and scrubbed the sleeves with a washcloth and some soap and water. It worked pretty well but only a real wash would tell if the makeup would fully come out of the fabric. Hyunjin then grabbed Felix's skincare box and came back to Felix's room to find the younger had moved to his desk where he was trying to put clips in his hair. Hyunjin walked over to Felix and grabbed his hands. 

“Stop this. Let me help you.” 

He took the messy clips out and only put two back to hold Felix's bangs. Felix looked nervous and Hyunjin didn't know why. Hyunjin took out the makeup remover from Felix’s bag and tried to put it on Felix's face but the younger moved his face away. 

“Hyunjin I’m fine I can do it myself.”

“You’re tired Felix.”

“No I’m awake I promise.”

“Well, that's fine if you’re awake but I still want to do this for you.”

“Please Hyunjin. Just let me do this.”

Hyunjin was confused. Why wouldn't Felix let him do this for him?

“What's wrong Lixie?”

Felix looked at Hyunjin with sleepiness and sadness in his eyes. 

“I don't want you to see me without my makeup right now.”

“That’s silly I’ve seen you without your makeup.”

“Not recently you haven’t.”

Hyunjin had to think. Felix was right. He hasn't gone anywhere without makeup for the past couple of months but Hyunjin had no idea why. 

“Why not?”

“Because I have more freckles now. I accidentally fell asleep outside and when I saw my face the next day I was covered in freckles.”

Hyunjin pouted at Felix and Felix looked away again. Hyunjin grabbed the younger face and bought the makeup wipe up again to wipe Felix's foundation off. 

“I’ll always think you’re beautiful.”

Felix kept his eyes closed as Hyunjin cleaned his face off. With every wipe, more freckles appeared on the youngers face and Hyunjin thought each one was beautiful. They were like a constellation on his face, showing the beauty of the galaxy that is Lee Felix. He saw a big one on Felix’s nose and tapped it with the hand he was using to hold Felix’s face. 

“I know, that one is bigger than most of them. Only a couple are that size. I hate them the most.”

He kept his eyes closed as he spoke, not wanting to see Hyunjins reaction or unblemished skin, skin Felix wished he could have. Hyunjin couldn't help but smile. He leaned in and kissed the freckle on his friend's nose. Felix’s eyes shot open at the feeling of his bandmate's lips on his nose. 

“I think it's cute.” 

He kissed another freckle on Felix's face. 

“I think they’re all cute.” 

Felix was frozen and his face started heating up at the warm contact. 

“They’re like little stars on your face.”

Felix was breathless at the comment.

“Hyunj-?”

Hyunjin kissed another one.

““I wanna count all of your stars with my lips, Lixie.”

He grabbed Felix's face with both his hands and kissed a freckle near Felix’s lips. The feeling of Hyunjins lips on the corner of Felix's mouth was enough to make him melt. Hyunjin felt the boy relax and took the chance to actually kiss Felix’s lips. The kiss was soft and delicate and made Felix feel dizzy. Felix placed his hand on Hyunjins bare chest and it chilled the older boy. He moved back at the feeling.

“Oh, I'm sorry I didn't think about my hand being cold I just wanted to feel you and I just I- Im sorry.”

Hyunjin kissed Felix again but released rather quickly. 

“Don’t apologize. I want to feel you too.”

Hyunjin pressed his lips softly against Felix again but kept them there this time. They kissed softly for a couple of minutes before it deepened and Hyunjin claimed his dominance over Felix. The taller boy made Felix stand up as their lips were still connected. He sat him down on the bed and then released his lips.

“Can I undress you?”

Felix nodded but Hyunjin wanted a verbal answer. With his pointer finger on Felix’s chin, he lifted his face and asked again. 

“Can I undress you?”

“Yes.”

The shy voice from the younger made Hyunjin melt as he lowered his hands to the hem of Felix’s shirt. Once completely off, he admired Felix's torso and set his eyes for one thing, the freckles that adorn it. He told Felix to get further back on the bed so he was fully laying down then Hyunjin got up on the bed too, finding a seat between Felix’s legs. His hands climbed up on his bandmate's chest and sent shivers through him. Hyunjin's lips made their way to the freckles on Felix's chin before moving down to his neck. With each kiss, he sucked a little and before releasing his lips he licked every spot. From his chin to his neck, from his neck to his chest, and from his chest to his abs. Hyunjin made sure not to miss every spot he saw no matter how close they were.

“You’re so beautifully made, Love. So beautiful in every way. 

His mouth worked down to Felix's waistband and stopped on his boxer hem. Felix looked down wondering why Hyunjin stopped. 

“Can I take this off too?”

Felix had to muster up his voice to respond because it was most definitely stuck in his throat after being kissed that many times by Hyunjin. 

“Yes, you can.”

Hyunjin took off Felix's pants and left him with his boxers. Felix was getting impatient.

“Hyunjin, please just strip me fully.”

“Be patient, Love. Let me ask you.”

Hyunjin liked teasing a little but only enough to get his partner more desperate for his touch. He didn't want to tease too much and genuinely did want to know what Felix wanted along with making sure he was okay with everything going on. 

“Now, can I take this off too?”

“Yes. Hyunjin. Please.”

The words were almost a whimper but Hyunjin could understand them easily. He removed Felix's boxers slowly, running his fingers along his bandmate's thighs to feel his soft skin. Felix whimpered at the feeling of his dick being set free after all this time. Hyunjin looked Felix dead in the eye and he slowly ran a finger up his dick. 

“What would you like me to do for you?” 

Felix turned a little red and looked away, avoiding any further eye contact but Hyunjin wanted Felix to look at him and tell him what he needed. Hyunjin crawled over Felix’s body to whisper in his ear. 

“You can tell me what you want. I promise I’ll give you anything.”

Felix's voice hitched in his throat and he swallowed the saliva accumulating in his mouth. He wasn't the type to say such things or make any demands or even requests in his daily life so this was definitely not easy for him. He was stuck in his own head. Hyunjin saw the internal struggle and slid his hand back down to squeeze Felix's dick lightly.

“Come on, Love, Don’t you wanna release some of this tension?”

A choked “yes” managed to leave Felix's lips and Hyunjin smiled.

“See, I know you can talk so please, Love. Tell me what you want.”

Felix finally spoke.

“I want your mouth. Please Hyunjin.”

“That's all you had to say.”

Hyunjin lowered himself back to Felix's crotch and licked his hand before placing it on the base. He used his hand a couple of times to pump his cock before attaching his lips. A hiss escaped from Felix's lips as he felt his bandmate's lips go down and up for the first time. Hyunjins pace was slow but sped up gradually. Felix already felt so on edge and with the pace Hyunjin had set he lost control of his hips and thrusted into his friend's mouth. Hyunjin took this as a sign to go faster and that's exactly what he started to do. While sucking Felix off, he gathered some of the pre-cum on his hand to lube it up. He popped off of Felix's dick and asked him. 

“Want me to prep you for more or are we done after this, Love? Either is fine we don’t hav-“

“Yes please!”

Hyunjins sentence didn’t even finish before Felix whined out his response. Hyunjin lowered his head again with a smile and went back to sucking Felix off but this time he started slowly easing a finger in. Felix always hated the original pain of getting fingered but he knew it would be worth it. Hyunjin kept working his mouth and tongue and only got off to make sure Felix was okay which he responded to with a frustrated moan and a yes. This happened a couple more times until Hyunjin could fit three fingers into Felix comfortably. 

“Fuck me.”

Felix whined out while Hyunjin was still blowing him, causing Hyunjin to stop. 

“Are you sure?”

Felix nodded before remembering to speak.

“Yes, please. I want you.”

Felix sat up which caused Hyunjin to follow. The older didn’t have any time to react before Felix pulled him into a deep kiss.

“I need you.”

He laid back down but this time on his elbows so he could see Hyunjin enter him. Hyunjin took off his sweats and lubed up his dick with his own saliva before lining himself with Felix's hole. 

“It's still going to hurt a little so tell me when it does.”

Hyunjin slowly pushed his cock past Felix's rim and the stretch caused the bottom to instantly grip the bed sheets. Hyunjin bent forward to press his body against Felix and he told him to lay flat so they could comfortably be pressed onto one another.

“I won't move until you’re okay, baby. Tell me to stop and I will.”

He pressed his lips to Felix's ears and put his hand on the youngers face as his face returned to comfort. 

“I'm okay, keep going.”

Hyunjin slowly eased into Felix, ensuring he was never in too much pain. Once he fully bottomed out, Felix moaned in joy. Hyunjins dick fully inside of him was almost enough for him to cum but he knew he couldn’t just yet. Hyunjin felt the same feeling as Felix wrapped so tightly around him. His thrusts started slowly and Felix's light whimpers were driving him crazy. He wanted to go rougher but since it was his first time with Felix he wanted to go slow and show him how much love he had for him. He didn’t understand the phrase “make love” and had always thought it was stupid, all up till right now. Now he had this beautiful boy in his arms and wanted to make sure he felt amazing and knew how much love he held for him and his body. 

They switched positions so Hyunjin was sitting up and Felix's legs were wrapped around him. Hyunjin thrusted up into Felix at the same pace Felix bounced on his cock. His eyes half closed as he fucked into the younger and Felix's moans were getting a little louder. He was swallowing as much of his moans as he could due to not wanting the other members to be woken up because of them. Felix was nearing his edge as he kept slamming down on Hyunjins dick. Hyunjin could feel Felix clenching around him and decided to go a bit faster. Felix's head buried itself in Hyunjins shoulder and he tried to keep his mouth shut. He bit Hyunjin’s shoulder to shut himself up but it caused Hyunjin to moan and thrust up especially hard. This set Felix off and he ended up moaning around the skin of Hyunjin’s shoulder along with cumming on his friend and his own stomach. 

“Good boy, Lix.”

Hyunjin was so close to finishing too but wanted to be respectful of the boy whos body he was in. 

“Can I keep going, Love?”

Felix lifted his tired face and smiled softly.

“Of course, you can. Cum in me please Hyunjinnie?”

Hyunjin couldn't control himself much more and picked up his pace faster than before. Felix held onto the older’s chest as he bit on his shoulder again to contain his moans. 

“I’m cumming, Love ah- I’m- ah!”

Hyunjin came inside Felix with a couple more thrusts and laid back, taking the youngers body down with him. Hyunjin shifted so his dick would come out of Felix but didn't want to move from where he was. He was in heaven. Felix was laying on his chest breathless, messy-haired, and teary-eyed. Hyunjin held his bandmate closer and closed his eyes tightly as a smile painted itself on his face. 

“Hyunjin?”

“Yes, Love?”

Felix lifted his head from Hyunjins shoulder and kissed his lips once more.

“I need to shower and I think you may also need to.”

Hyunjin just smiled at Felix. He almost got teary-eyed himself just looking into his eyes. To Hyunjin, they held the universe in them. To Hyunjin, they were the best remedy. To Hyunjin, they made him feel, no, they made him know that everything was going to be okay. 

“I’ll draw us a bath.”

[mingiswow]

Color this cold world | Jeong Yunho

Pairing: Yunho x gn!reader (reader has a vagina)

Genre: smut, post-apocalyptic, dystopic, porn with a little of plot

Word count: ~4k

Warnings: mentions of death, weapons, fight, blood, wounds and murder, mentions of father and mother figures, reader doesn’t believe in god, reader is shorter than him, many pet names it gets sickening, not proofread, smut

Smut Warnings: oral (reader receiving), fingering, piv, protected sex, choking, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, slight degradation, Yunho has a big dick, uses of pet names (baby, bunny, etc), semi-public sex if I forgot anything let me know

A/n: I’m going through a Yunho and Seonghwa brain rot ever since the concept photos were released and when the mv came out I HAD to write something. It’s not completely inspired by Ateez universe (also because I still don’t understand a single thing about the storyline and tbh gave up, I’m too old for this lol), but a little inspired by the mv, and the dystopian novels I grew up reading, so if anything sound similar it might be that. 

⚠️ English is not my first language, so sorry if there's any grammatical error

↪ Feedback is always welcomed

Materlist | Ask

⇉Minor DNI ⇇

You paced around the little room. The skin around your nails already hurting from how much you’ve been biting them while waiting for any news from your boyfriend and his friends.

You looked over the small dirty window and saw the grey and ashy sky of the country. You don’t even remember seeing the sun, ever since the revolution started years ago and the opponent side won, the world have turned into a big mess of ashes and destruction, the few pieces of vegetation existing being the small weeds that besides all the pollution and destruction rose upon the cement cracks and dry soils. They are, somehow, the reason you still believe in a better future. And Yunho.

You still remember how you met him and the others, your father was one of the heads behind the rebellion against the state, always busy trying to make this destruction stop. He was a very smart man and raised you and your older brother alone after your mother left you three to run away with the chief of the opponents when you were born. Your dad recruited young children and teenagers who wanted to fight, and Yunho was one of them. 

He was your age, his chubby cheeks fuller to make him look stronger but his eyes and the way his knuckles were white from hilding into a fist betrayed him. 

The first time you had contact was when you helped his wound a few months after he joined the rebellion, you were one of those responsible for the nursing, alongside his friend Jongho, that joined with him.

“Are you okay, man?” the younger asked and he nodded, clearly scared.

“If you want to be part of this, you’ll have to be stronger. The state army have no fear nor remorse, not even for young people like us” you stated as you prepared the gauze to clean the cut. “I know it’s hard” he nodded and held all the pain he could. That day he promised to fight not only for his family and friends, but for you as well.

As the years passed by, the young chubby boy you used to know grew to be one of the best body combat fighters as well as shooter, his body now tall and well built made every one swoon over him. When your dad and brother were killed, Yunho was the one that held you close and wiped your tears, the one that soothe your pain away and made sure you were strong enough to go back to your duty as the head nurse. All while assuming the combat training chief position. 

So when you looked at the watch in your wrist and saw that Yunho was more than half an hour late you panicked. You didn’t even believe in god but started praying for him to come home safe and sound to your arms. 

Him, Seonghwa, Hoongjoong, San and Yeosang went to a mission on the frontier a week ago and you marked to meet in the spot this very day at 3pm but so far no news of him or the others. The minutes seem to pass one by each hour yet, at the same time, to fly fast. 

It was past 4pm, your eyes betraying you and watering down on the thought of losing Yunho, the hope was almost gone but then a loud noise scared you. The first thought being that they came to get you. The enemies. You stood quiet in your corner of the room, listening to the noises that seemed to be happening a few floors under the one you were. You hugged your legs and more tears spilled as you expected the worst to fund you. 

And then you heard silence. Everything went quiet. The only sound being your fastened heartbeat and steps that came closer and closer by second. You closed your eyes and waited.

“Yn? Yn, are you here?” You recognized Seonghwa’s voice and immediately jumped into his arms to hug your friend. “Hey hey hey. It’s fine, big brain. We’re back” he hugged you back and let you cry on his shoulders seeing how overwhelmed you were. 

“What happened? Why are you guys late? Where's the rest? Where's Yunho? Is he okay? Please tell he’s fine and safe and-“

“Yn, calm down” the tall man held your shoulders. “We were surprised by an enemy troop while almost arriving at the gates. We had to wait till we could attack”

“And what were those noises before you entered?” 

“There were more of them waiting for us here, thankfully they didn’t know you were here as well otherwise…” he went quiet and you understood what he meant. Seonghwa always has been the reason in the group, always making sure everyone was both physically and mentally well. 

“And where’s Yunho? And the others?” 

“They are back at the HQ, Hongjoong, San, and Yunho were hurt a little. But they’re fine!” He was quick to add seeing your eyes widen when he mentioned your boyfriend’s name. “Let’s go back eh? I know you want to see him” you nodded and quickly started to go down the stairs, a few dead men over the floors and some of your people collecting everything useful they had. 

You couldn’t help but notice the number of dead men, especially on the first floor and your heart squeezed thinking about how many of these Yunho and the boys had to fight knowing that they were at a disadvantage. “There were many but you know how good San is with traps and Yeosang in bulk killing” Seonghwa spoke as he could read your thoughts. You nodded and sat in the passenger seat of his van, more anxious than before. 

As soon as the van stopped in front of the nurse HQ you jumped out of the vehicle and ran to find Yunho. 

“Wing four” you hear someone scream to you and you went straight to the place. 

You opened the door and there he was, sitting naked on top of the doolie, his back facing you and you could see some cuts, burns and scratches.  He heard your footsteps and turned around, a smile finding its way on his lips amidst the dry blood and wounds. 

He left the bed and opened his arms for you to hug him and before you could even think about hurting him more, you ran to his arms, burying your face in his chest and crying all over again. 

“Sh, little one. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere” he caressed your hair and kissed the top of your head. 

“You scared me, I almost thought I had lost you” you confessed to him, feeling the anxiety finally leave your body, legs becoming a bit weak after the tension vanished.

“I’m not going anywhere, love” he held your face between his hands, making you look into his eyes and wiped your tears, his smile never leaving his lips. “I love you too much to simply leave you like this, you have to make more effort to get rid of me” 

You chuckled, even after being beaten and hurt, even after almost dying, he still had the energy to be playful and make you feel better. “I love you so much, Yunho” he nodded, pecking your nose. “I love you too, my love”.

You kept in each others’ arms for some time, just enjoying the presence and warmth of your bodies before you remembered you had to treat his wounds and clean him. 

“Go to the bath to clean the dirt and relax your muscles. I’ll grab the things to clean your wounds and patch you up, k?” 

While he did as you said, you grabbed the necessary items from the other room and prepared some ointments and medications.

“Were you waiting for me to come and stitch you?” You asked as you entered back the room, putting everything in its place and going with gauze and some antiseptic spray to disinfect the cuts and bruises. You sat at the edge of the tub, bending towards the bigger cut in his chest. 

“Always. Only my little bunny knows how to treat me” he sniffed your neck making your skin shiver. 

“You could have had an infection with that” you could feel him tense up his muscles under your touch as you spread the ointment and analyzed if it needed stitches. He smirked when he saw you bite your lips when you felt his broad chest in your hands. You always have been obsessed with Yunho’s body and, for some wicked reason, every time you saw him with some type of bruise your body heated all up knowing that those were symbols of his strength and that he could kill someone with his bare hands. 

“I knew it was not that bad. Besides…” he slowly ran his fingers through your exposed arms and legs, the hairs getting bristly at the touch. He smirked. “I was dying to touch you” 

“You almost died and that’s all you can think of?” you were scolding him but deep down your thoughts were the same. Such as that you locked the door before entering the bath area. That also didn’t go unnoticed by the man. 

“Of course! What if I died before claiming you mine one last time?” He put you on his lap inside the bath, wetting your whole uniform.

“Yunho! My clothes!”

“I’m gonna take them off anyways, bunny, you won’t need them to be dry” his lips attacked your neck, kissing, licking, biting, marking you like a hungry animal with his prey. “The last thing you should be right now is dry”. You threw your head back and enjoyed the touch of his lips on your skin. You had missed him dearly. 

His hands started to roam your body up and down and you could feel and see his erection underneath you. The cold bath water already welcoming the warmth in your body, cooling the fire that seemed to consume you both. 

Finally, his lips met yours, hungry and desperate, fighting against yours as he needed your air to live, teeth clashing and tongues fighting for dominance. His hands held your hips strongly and started to rub your clothed core against his dick that you could feel hard even under the thick fabric of your pants. “Fuck baby, all I could think about while fighting those men was coming home alive so I could fuck you senseless” Yunho whispered in your ears as he kept you rubbing yourself on him. “Did you miss me, bunny? Did you miss my cock buried in your pussy?” You could only nod, too caught up in the feeling building at the pit of your belly. “Are you already close? Are you that cock starved that just rubbing your cunt on me is enough?”

You did not answer, not being able to form any sentence, everything coming out of your mouth being nonsense babbles and moans.

It didn’t matter how many times Yunho had touched you or made love to you, every single time felt like the first. He had a special power in making you putty in his hands just by touching you, whispering dirty things into your ears. He knew exactly how to get you worked up and desperate for him. 

But on his side it wasn't any different. Every time his nervous system felt the texture of your skin on his hands it was like he had never touched something so sublime, it was almost as if he could taste you in the tips of his calloused fingers. The roughness of your skin was something he could only feel by touching. The years of helping people and handling the apocalypse that became this earth marked up in your body, in the way your skin reacted to his touch, the scars of your own battles adorning you like you were a hand-crafted fabric. He loved each and every part of you. The visible and invisible signs of your strength, determination and will. He loved the strong and determined person you were. He could admire you for days but he always thought that nothing showed his love and adoration for you as the way he made love to you. 

And that’s exactly what he was planning to do. 

The man started taking your wet clothes away from your body, slowly, feeling every inch and bump from your skin. The shirt being the first one, the fabric clinging to your wet body like a vice but Yunho was more vicious than a simple shirt. 

Your chest, now fully in disposal, rising up and down with your uneven breath caught his eyes immediately and he listened to his intrusive thoughts and dipped his face in between them, smelling your scent and enjoying the warmth of your skin. 

You reached his face and grabbed with both hands, making him look at you. His eyes black, dilated with lust yet still covered in love. “I love you, Yunho” you spoke in a whisper, joining your foreheads. His smile was bright as he nodded and joined your lips in a slow and sweet kiss. The one he expects to feel the day you get to get married. “I love you too”. 

He kissed you again as his right hand enclosed what he could get of your left boob, squeezing and massaging it. You cut the kiss to breathe, throwing your head back. Yunho took advantage of your position to put your other breast in his mouth. Sucking it, biting it, and licking it. You were far too gone in the pleasure, your hips starting to move again on top of his dick, making him moan on your chest, the vibrations sending shivers down your body and concentrating in between your legs, your walls closing against nothing. 

Your boyfriend kept his assault on your chest for a few minutes, enjoying the way he could make you squirm just by playing with your boobs. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it. 

When he was satisfied with the purple marks all over your chest he lifted you both up from the tub and took you to the bed he was previously on, sitting you and standing between your legs. He started kissing you again, his mouth and hands eager for you. “Baby please do something” you moaned against his mouth and grabbed his hands to put on top of your clothed core. “I need you"

“Your wish is my command, Princess” he gave you one last kiss before getting on his knees and taking your pants and panties off. The cool air hitting your labia and making you shiver in anticipation. He gently opened your legs more so he could be inside them, his lips ever so gently touching your inner thigh. Yunho was a strong man and he knew you loved when he used that on you, so he grabbed your legs and pulled you closer to his face, thighs resting on his shoulder as his lips finally touched where you wanted the most. His tongue licking from bottom to top, lapping every single drop of your wetness that rested there. To him, your taste was the same as dionysus wine should taste, bittersweet, intoxicating and addicting, he could live just with your taste. 

His fingers spread your labia open as he made sure to give a powerful suck at your clit, a particularly loud moan leaving your lips as you quickly covered them trying not to be too loud. He kept his assault at your clit, alternating between circling and licking up and down and left to right, spelling the whole alphabet against your little bundle of nerves that sent desperate signals to your brain, the fire in the pit of your stomach rising dangerously fast. When he felt you squirming against him, he held you down on the bed and lowered his attack to your hole, entering it with the tip of his tongue, provoking you, tickling your insides, making you want more. 

“Baby, fuck, please” you managed to moan out in midst all the pleasure. “Do something, please” he chuckled but nevertheless he gave what you wanted, what you needed, and started to fuck you with his tongue, thumb going to your clit and drawing circles to help with your pleasure. Your moans started to get louder and louder, your hands that covered your mouth were now attached to your boyfriend’s hair, pulling his face closer to your vulva. You were so lost in the feeling. The fire in your belly snapped and you came undone in his mouth, him never stopping his movements, riding you through your orgasm. His mouth then replaced his thumb and he inserted two fingers knuckles deep inside you. An obscene scream left you as you felt your belly tighten again.

“You’re doing so well for me, bunny. Such a good girl taking everything I give. Can you give me another orgasm, huh?” His deep voice praised you, his fingers going faster and faster inside you, your clit swollen and sensitive from all the pleasure and friction against it. Your voice betrayed you, a high gasp coming out instead as you nod your head. Legs shaking on top of his shoulder. 

Soon enough another orgasm waved through your body, leaving you already in shambles on top of him. Yunho helped you ride out your orgasm again, this time stopping his ministrations and getting on his feet again. 

He kissed your lips, making you taste yourself in his tongue, your mind dizzy with pleasure. “I could taste you all day, bunny. But my little friend down here needs a little help” you chuckled at his words and pulled him close to you again, locking his hips with your legs and rubbing your sensitive vulva on his dick. You hissed at the feeling, still sensitive with the previous orgasms. “Can you take me, Princess? Or are you still too sensitive?” 

“I can always take you, baby” you grabbed his dick in your hand and started to put the condom on him, torturing him with how slow you were sliding the piece and how sometimes you’d squeeze his member in the process. “After all, you were the one who got me addicted to your dick, isn’t it? Made me your cock slut”

“Fuck yn don’t talk like that” you smirked at his reaction and aligned the tip of his dick in your entrance. 

He slowly pushed inside you, the burning of the stretch making you lay your back flat on the bed, hands grabbing the sheets. To say Yunho was gifted with his dick was just a fact. He was just the right size for you but it was the girth that always made you cry. In a good way. In a delicious way actually. No matter how much he preps you, stretches you open with his fingers, nothing will compare to him slowly entering you until he’s balls deep inside you. He always waits for you to get used to his size and start moving by yourself. 

“You are made for me, baby bun. Your pussy was made for me, wasn’t it?” He pulled you by the back of your neck close to him, foreheads glued as your eyes stared at each other. His hips ever so deliciously moving at a punishing slow pace, getting as deep as he could. 

“Faster… please” you moaned and threw yourself back against the bed, back arching with the feeling. “Need… more…”

“Is my baby cock drunk already? Can’t even speak properly?” He mocked you but still gave you what you wanted, pistoning his hips against you, one of his hands going to your clit and the other wrapped around your neck. Your eyes rolled at the overstimulation, feeling so much at the same time. “Good god bunny you look so hot right now. Wish you could see yourself, all fucked out and cock dumb for me. Such a good girl. Go on baby, cum for me again. I know you can do it” you nodded desperately, a string of whispered yes leaving your lips as you felt the burning feeling take you over for the third time and snap a few minutes after. Your juices starting to fall down your legs, an obscene squelch sound reverberating in the room as you weren’t even able to moan anymore. 

Suddenly Yunho took his dick out of you and before you could even question it, he turned you around, bending you on the bed, legs falling wobbly from the edge. “I’m not finished yet, bunny” he spread your ass cheeks and entered you again, the new position and the sensitivity almost knocking you out, eyes wet with tears of pleasure as he went even faster this time. “If you give me another orgasm I’ll reward you. So be a good girl and cum again, okay?” You nodded, body too weak to resist. 

Yunho then slithered his hand under your chest and pushed you flush against his chest, his hand once again going up to wrap around your throat, getting you even more dizzy and light headed than before. 

“Yunho… p- please” your voice was hoarse and low, the next orgasm ready to snap at your pussy once again. 

The man wasn’t so far from coming himself, his cock twitching inside of you and you both could feel your highs approaching and his thrusts losing its rhythm. He let go of your chest and neck, letting you fall limp onto the bed as he grabbed your hips to get more stability. 

He kept thrusting, a bunch of profanities and praises to you leaving his mouth as he came, his hips losing its speed but going as deep as he could. His right hand reached your clit with some difficulty and started playing with it to help you reach your high as well, his hips never stopping its slow and deep thrusts. 

Within seconds you reached your fourth and last orgasm of the night. Your whole body aching in delicious pain and overstimulation. Little whimpers left your mouth and finally Yunho stilled inside of you and felt on top of you, his weight being comforting against your completely gone body. 

“I fucking love you so much” he whispered against your ear, leaving small ticklish kisses against it. 

“I fucking love you so much too, Yunho” you smiled against the bed, sighing happily. 

After a few minutes he lifted himself and got out of your body, going to the bathroom to take the condom out and clean himself. He damped a piece of cloth and came to clean you, careful not to hurt you. 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to exist after today” you chuckled as he cleaned you, your whole body aching now that the pleasure was gone and the adrenaline went down. 

“I’m sorry, bunny. I went a little overboard” he gently kissed your shoulder blades, caressing your back. 

“No, I loved” you tried to move but your legs were still weak. He grabbed you and put you on top of the bed, throwing the wet cloth away before laying by your side and cuddling you. “I missed you so much” you whispered as you played with his fingers wrapped around your tummy. 

“I missed you too” he deep sighed and held you stronger. “I just want this to end so we can have a peaceful life” you nodded, your eyes getting heavy. “I can’t wait for us to be free and have a huge farm with many animals and our little kids running around and playing with no fear and worries in their life” Yunho nudged his face against your neck, scenting you and feeling his chest warm with love and hope. 

“Soon, baby. Soon” you said as you both drifted asleep, both dreaming with a better world and a future together. 

----------------------

"Have you guys seen yn?" Jongho asked his friends as he helped the hurt soldiers that came back that day, San hissing at the feeling of the antiseptic spray sting. Seonghwa just chuckled as he exchanged looks with San and Yeosang. "Again? Great! Now I'll have to clean all that wing again because Yunho can't hold his dick inside his pants". The man rolled his eyes as the others laughed at how predictable the couple was.

[fatuismooches]

Hello smooches, i hope that u are doing well! 👏🛐 I saw ur ramble about Harbinger arranged marriage au with Capitano and the brainrot u gave me after reading it.. gosh smooches u are always so big brained omg.. Bless u 🛐🛐💞

I feel like, there will be LOTS of misunderstandings and problems between Capitano and reader bcs he never talks to them and just, u know.. *STARES* at them, making reader feel that he is cold and distant. He thought he can show his affection this way, which is.. Not working like u just said 😅 and him never showing his face to them and also being a high ranking harbinger are already not helping too 😭 just imagine u have to bear everyone's expectations of being his partner. If u are screwed, u are done for. Not only that, reader suddenly married with him without knowing what's going on, also make it worse. We know how important communication in relationship (especially marriage, in this case) so that they can prosper. Lack of communication will lead to anxiety, depression and other bad things.. And him who never talk to them bcs he doesn't know what to do.. Oh boy 😔

I can see a lot of scenarios going on in my head AEUGH- 😩😭 the pining, angst, drama, etc. All of those happening between them makes me go AKSJAKSJAKSJAKSJAJSJAJ- i'm definitely will not be able to go to sleep with the thought of ur ramble still stuck on my head 😭

-🥝

I am doing well, I hope you are doing well too 🥝 anon!! Mwah! And omg YESSSS I MISSED YOUR CAPITANO BRAIN ROTS SO MUCH RAHHHH 💖💖💖

Poor reader, dropped into an arranged marriage with arguably the most mysterious Harbinger - you don't even know what his face looks like! At least you know Capitano has blue eyes, from the fact he's constantly staring you down whenever the two of you are in the room. Though, his eyes are actually pretty... but you can't really focus on that due to the intensity of his stare!! 😭

This is when Pierro gives him some old man advice and just tells him to talk to you already 😭 Also, since the soldiers really respect Capitano i hc that he sometimes asks them about their lives and such, yk to get to know his squad to build morale and such. And he knows that many of them have spouses and always talk about their relationships... so one day he straight up asks his soldiers about how they speak to their lover etc. And boom everyone can instantly tell their captain is having love problems (😭 hilarious tbh) and now they're trying to figure out how to give advice to the 1st Harbinger without being disrespectful (he thanks them at the end and is now mentally preparing on how to speak to you)

NOOOO but the angst you mentioned... I can just imagine reader feeling scared and alone in the relationship 😭🥺 And they just don't know what to do, Capitano's hella scary to talk to first, you're just a normal person too and it seems like he isn't interested in you either (Couldn't be farther from the truth ofc, he's so in love with you)

Though when you work out all the problems and such, (I have to add some fluff in yk me) this is where you start teaching him more about emotions, how to express his feelings in more noticeable and less awkward ways (you two have little training sessions where you make him practice, this time you let him know that eye contact is actually very good, but the way he was going about it wasn't it 💀 bb awkwardly apologizes for making you uncomfortable cuz he genuinely felt bad 💀 down the line of the relationship you like to bring it up to tease him and he always apologizes profusely 😭🙏)

[kyosluvv]

Im sorry my love-

-Yandere kyōjurō rengoku x fem!reader-

(Warnings- yandere,knifes,murder,attempted murder,angst,fluff,Stockholm Syndrom,death,blood.)

It was a month ago, the day it all happened, the day you found yourself crying over your best friends dead corpse.

It kept repeating and repeating in your head over and over again taunting you as you were living in the same house as him, the man that had killed her and so many others and it was all because of you.

You felt a shiver down your spine as the tall blonde sat beside you, he put his hand on your thigh and was trying to have atleast a small conversation with you since you have been quiet avoiding any contact with him and it was really starting to piss him off.

At first he had thought that you would start to warm up to him in a little bit of time but that wasn’t the case.

You had so many feelings sitting overflowing waiting to explode, senjurō called for kyōjurō so he stood up and left while giving you a faint smile and leaving.

Later that night when you and kyōjurō were in your shared bedroom changing into your Pajamas and layed down together, you stayed awake until you saw him go to sleep.

You had enough of this bullshit you couldn’t do it anymore,

As he was asleep y/n snuck out of the bed quietly and went into the kitchen opening a drawer and grabbing a knife.

You walked back to the bedroom hiding it under your clothes just incase, as you went into the bedroom you silently climbed ontop of him making him move a little in his sleep wich scared you.

Your heart was racing, you pulled out the knife as you were sitting ontop of him, you were about to kill him until you started sobbing uncontrollably wich woke him up immediately.

As he opened his eyes to see you ontop of him holding a knife his eyes widened as he gently took the weapon from you making you sob even more “ k-kyō I’m so sorry..” she said and she covered her face.

He gently moved her beside him and started to comfort her “ it’s okay love, I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you.” As you were crying into his chest he ran his fingers through your hair calming you down until you fell asleep.

Kyōjurō was startled and a bit cautious so he didn’t end up sleeping the rest of the night but when it was morning he snuck out of bed putting back the knife and made breakfast for you.

He walked into the bedroom and softly woke you up with breakfast in bed, after that you started opening up to him and eventually you ended up falling inlove with him.

About a week later you felt safe and comfortable with him and you were even aloud to go in public with him.

“Maybe it’s not so bad..”

A/n : I know this sucks but idk I just have a huge kyōjurō brain rot rn I live him so much.

[johnsamericano]

𝓓𝓪𝔂 12:

ℓєє мαяк

23 days of NCT masterlist.

taglist: @notbeforelong @mrcarbonatedmilk @unknown5tar @whathamelon @ajhdr @curieouscapt @silent-potato @gjheaaa

warnings: baby daddy mark, hidden pregnancy (?, tooth rotting.

“Dude, isn't that y/n?” Mark’s old friend, John, pointed at you.

Yeah, that was most definitely his ex. You were holding a small girl between your arms, helping her reach for a box of lucky charms. You looked just as beautiful as three years ago, even more, he daresay.

“Go talk to her.” His friend elbowed him. “I’ll go get the meat, maybe you can invite her to our barbecue.”

“We haven't seen each other in a while, don't you think it'll be a little too weird?”

“Go for it, I know you're still hung up on her.”

“How...?”

“I heard your last girl complaining about how you called y/n’s name while having sex with her, it was hilarious, to be honest.” Mark punched him in the arm, earning a small groan from the tall man. “But seriously, though, you broke up with her to focus on your career. Now that you have a stable job, what's stopping you from getting her back?”

“I don't know, man...”

“Give it a try, I'll be with the butcher if you need me.” He winked at the Canadian boy, making his way to another aisle.

Mark took a deep breath before his feet finally started moving. You were placing the small girl in the shopping cart’s seat, tickling her tummy while at it.

“Y/n?” Your eyes almost came out of their caves as you heard his voice.

“Mark...” You stared at him with wide eyes, looking back and forth between the little girl and him. “I thought you’d moved back to Canada.”

“I came back a year ago.” He fiddled uncomfortably with the rings adorning his fingers. “I really wanted to contact you, but since things between us were a little complicated when I left...” By complicated he meant breaking your heart and leaving a day after ending things between you.

“It’s really okay, Mark. No hard feelings.” You smiled sweetly at him, your pretty eyes turning into half moons.

“And who’s this little one? Your niece?” He caressed the top of the girl’s head, who wasn’t even aware of his presence, too focused on getting rid of the wrapping around the chocolate you’d just bought her.

“Actually-”

“Mommy, I need help!” Mark froze.

“Oh, sure sweetie.” You tone completely changed when addressing her. “Mark, this is my daughter, EunHee. Say hi, baby.”

“Hi, Mark.” She extended her hand as you tore the wrapping of the chocolate bar open. His surprised expression turned into a big smile, covering her small hand with his significantly bigger one. “Look, mom. His cheeks are just like mine!” She poked Mark’s cheekbones.

You could almost feel a drop of sweat rolling down your forehead.

“Wait, you're right.” The Canadian man pointed out as your daughter smiled at him. “That's crazy.” Thank God Mark was so naive. “So where’s the father of this little bean?”

‘Right in front of me.’ You thought.

“She doesn't...”

“Oh, sorry. It must've been hard raising her on your own.” He reassuringly placed a hand on your arm. “How old is she?”

“Uhm, s-she’s-”

“I’m this old.” EunHee interrupted, showing her three small fingers.

You hoped Mark’s brain capacity wouldn't be enough to connect the dots. But you had to admit, it was pretty obvious.

“Wow, you're so big.” It was heart-warming watching your daughter interact with her father for the first time, even if they didn't know the truth about each other. “So, we're having a barbecue at my place today. There’s always room for someone else, and you can bring EunHee if you’d like. My address is still the same.”

“I’ll think about it.” You handed the chocolate bar back to your daughter, who didn’t even take a second to eat up the whole thing.

“Alright, I guess I’ll see you then, maybe.”

(...)

“Mark’s hitting on a mom!” Yuta mocked him, causing the whole garden to erupt into laughter.

“And what’s wrong with that? She isn’t married.”

“Mark, you literally just met with her again after three years, slow down.” Jaehyun interceded, eyes stuck to his phone.

“Guys, stop messing with Mark. He's always loved y/n, so let him be.” Johnny spoke from the grill, turning around a steak. “Besides, I saw the little girl. She looks a lot like Mark, so I bet no one would be able to tell they're not actually related.”

“How old did you say she was?”

“Three.”

“Okay, don’t be mad at me, but did you ever have sex with her without protection?”

“What are you trying to say, Haechan?” Taeil asked bitterly.

“Just think about it, guys. It makes sense.” While his friends discussed the possibility of him being a dad, Mark’s head was rather busy trying to remember every little detail from the last time he was intimate with you.

But as much as he tried, he couldn't remember having worn a condom. And as far as he knew, you weren't on the pill.

The doorbell cut his string of thoughts, snapping him back into reality.

“I’ll get the door.” He didn't expect you to be behind it, holding your -and possibly his- daughter’s hand tightly. “Oh, hey.”

He seemed uncomfortable, had you made a mistake in accepting his offer?

“Hi, I couldn't find someone to look after this little monster. I hope your friends won't mind.”

“Not at all, they love kids.” He stared intensely at your daughter, finally noticing those similarities Johnny mentioned before. “Come in.”

He guided you all the way to the backyard, everyone greeting you with a big hug.

“Nice to see you again, y/n.” Johnny murmured, patting your back.

“She’s like a little doll!” Jaehyun squeaked excitedly, sitting your daughter on his lap. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“I’m EunHee.” He cooed at her high-pitched voice tone. “Your dimples are pretty.”

“Thank you.”

The boys seemed completely comfortable with your daughter, fighting with Jaehyun, who wouldn't let go of her.

“Can I have a word with you?” Mark came from behind you, making you jolt at his sudden presence.

“Sure.”

He walked you to the kitchen, away from the noisy men outside. He anxiously twisted his hands, trying to find the correct words to demand for the truth.

“What’s wrong?” You asked worriedly, taking a step closer to him.

“Is EunHee mine?” Well, you were definitely not expecting that. You thought that after meeting him at the supermarket, your secret was safe. Apparently, it wasn’t. “By the look on your face, I’m guessing she is.”

He groaned in frustration, rubbing his face with the palms of his hands.

“I’m sorry for keeping it a secret all this years. I won’t force you to step in and take responsibility for her, we can just leave and pretend this never-”

“What are you even talking about? Why wouldn’t I want to take care of my own daughter?” The frown on his face deepened. “Did you know you were pregnant when we broke up?”

Should you tell him the truth?

“I...” He looked at you expectantly.

Of course you should tell him the truth, he deserves it.

“Yes.” His heart dropped, guilt filling every inch of his body. “I didn’t want to hold you back. It would’ve been unfair for me to use that as an excuse to stop you from leaving.”

“So you’re saying I missed three years of my daughter’s childhood because you didn’t want to be selfish?” With every word his voice grew louder, shouting by the end of the sentence and catching the other guests' attention.

“Mark, we should talk about this another day, when we’re alone.” You tried leaving, but his hand clutched your wrist tightly.

“No.” You could admire tears sparkling in his eyes. “I don't want to miss another second of her.”

“Mommy?” Just then, EunHee walked into the kitchen, holding Yuta’s hand. “I heard screaming, are you okay?” Mark nodded at his friend, as if signaling him he could leave.

“Yes, I’m alright, sweetie.” You swung her up in your arms, coming closer to Mark who had the sudden urge to hold his baby. “Are you sure about this? There’s no backing out.” You mouthed, feeling a pinch of relief as he nodded. “Baby, I’d like you to meet someone very special.”

“Who?”

“This is Mark...” She looked at you with her small eyebrows furrowed, she’d already met Mark. “Your dad.”

Mark honestly felt like crying, your daughter smiling excitedly as she urged you to put her down, letting her father hold her close to his chest.

“Mommy said you were lost.” He felt so warm inside.

“I promise not to get lost again, alright?” His lips pressed a kiss into her forehead, already enamored by the cheerful giggles erupting from EunHee.

You observed them with regret. If you'd told Mark you were pregnant before he left, perhaps he wouldn't be on the verge of tears right now, perhaps your daughter wouldn't have had to deal with her classmates’ non-stopping questions about her father.

“Y/n?” Mark called out for you. “C-can we have a family hug?” He moved his hand invitingly, making space for you to join.

You walked into his arms, every negative feeling vanishing as Mark embraced you, both of you trying not to sob.

“What do you want to do now?” He let go of you, using both of his arms to embrace EunHee.

“Make up for the lost time.”

[mindofasupernova]

Someone you loved

Kaz Brekker x reader

Mr. Sandman Part 2

Inspired by the song "Someone you loved" by Lewis Capaldi

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me

This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy

Kaz's mind was a raging storm, an ever-shifting landscape. His heart was madly racing and he feared that if it didn't stop soon, it'll burst out of his chest.

Two days had gone by and yet there was no information about Y/N's whereabouts. No one had made an effort to contact him asking for money in exchange for her safety, no blackmail, nothing. Kaz knew the probability of Y/N being alive was shrinking as the days passed.

Kaz felt terrible, guilt crushed his heart in a vicious grip. If he hadn't kicked her out, if he had taken back his words, if he had just... No, thinking about what ifs wouldn't bring Y/N back home. If she's still alive a cruel voice whispered in the back of his mind.

His mind drifted to his darkest memories, horrible images plagued his mind. Rotting flesh beneath his fingers, icy hands grabbing at him, threatening to pull him under the waves. Water filled his lungs, consuming his oxygen and living him in the dark. His head broke the water, gasping for air, Kaz looked around, trying to find something, anything to grab to avoid drowning. Only that now instead of his brother's corpse, he saw Y/N's limp body floating above the water.

Kaz fell to his knees, the pain brought him back to reality. He was trembling, sharp gasps left his body, black dots covered his vision. Y/N would have told him to focus on reality, take in the details, count every little object he could find in the room. But Y/N wasn't here, and it was all his fault.

___________

I need somebody to heal, somebody to know

Somebody to have, somebody to hold

Y/N talked passionately about her latest read, making wild gestures with her hands as if to prove a point. Jesper's arm was slung across her shoulder, head thrown back in a laughing fit. When his cackles died down, Jesper leaned his head on Y/N's shoulder and started mocking her for being able to remember the exact place where phrases were in the book.

Kaz watched silently from his seat in the Crow Club, he knew those touches were purely friendly gestures, and still he couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.

On many sleepless nights, Kaz thoughts had wandered down a treacherous path, always finding their way to Y/N. His mind had been invaded by images of her: the smile she always wore when she was about to make a witty comment, the way she pursed her lips whenever he asked her to memorize an important document, the furrow of her brows when paying close attention to Kaz's plans.

He snapped out of it, angry at himself for thinking about her, he couldn't afford those thoughts. Kaz's life was dangerous and he had many enemies who wouldn't hesitate to use anything or anyone against him. If he left himself feel, if he let her in, he knew there was nothing he wouldn't do for her.

He had tried. He had tried to distance himself, push her away until his feelings dissipated to nothing. However, every time Y/N appeared in his office late at night just to talk about her day, every time she called his name, every time she sent a glorious smile his way, Kaz couldn't bring himself to say no.

And now, looking at Y/N from across the room, a sense of longing clouded his vision. Thoughts of sitting next to her, no space between their bodies, with no fear of touching reminded him of how miserably he had failed.

____________

It's easy to say, but it's never the same

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

Since Y/N's kidnapping, Kaz had gone completely feral. He had looked for anyone who could provide information. He had kidnapped, tortured, and even killed members of any other gangs he had his suspicions on. He was unstoppable, he wouldn't rest until his Y/N was safe. She isn't even yours because you kicked her out a scornful voice reminded him.

Kaz's whole body hurt, his limp was more prominent than usual, his knuckles were bloodied and a purplish bruise contrasted against his pale skin from a blow he had taken when he was beating the life out of one of the Dime Lion's informants.

How he wished Y/N was there. No matter how many times he came back to the Slat, covered in blood and clutching at his wounds, Y/N's gaze always turned into one of horrified worry.

Y/N had always healed his wounds after a mission, wiping the blood away very carefully in order not to touch his skin. Even when he wasn't bleeding and it was just his leg giving him a bad day or a headache that refused to leave him, Y/N always brought him medicine or tea depending on the situation.

But Y/N was gone and he might not ever see her again. His thoughts lurched him back to the ocean, dead things suffocated him. He clutched his cane tighter, he couldn't have a panic attack now, he needed to find Y/N.

_______

Now the day bleeds into nightfall

And you're not here to get me through it all

The night wrapped the dirty streets of Ketterdam in its wicked hold, the moon loomed ahead casting a palish glow through Kaz's window. Another day had passed and he was no closer to finding Y/N.

He was alone in his office, clutching his cane tighter by the second, its sharp edges bruising his skin, and yet, the pain wasn't enough to keep the waters from rising, Y/N's form surrounded by corpses.

No, he couldn't think of her this way. He had to remain positive, he needed to hope Y/N was still alive somewhere, but for someone like Kaz, remaining positive wasn't something he strived on. Instead, Kaz looked inside his brain, searching for a memory of Y/N to avoid passing out and when he found it, he seized it and hung to it for dear life.

Kaz had heard people say love arrived at the most unexpected times, bloomed in the most unlikely places. People said love wasn't something you chose, something you could control, not a concept you could welcome or shut out of your life at your convenience.

Kaz deemed those people foolish, weak for not being able to control themselves, and as the cold mastermind he was, Kaz brushed off all of their comments. And he would have kept thinking that way if it hadn't been for Y/N during a warm summer evening.

The Crow Club was surprisingly empty, everyone was in a relaxed state, currently resting after a successful heist. Kaz had been working in his office, signing contracts when a soft knock sounded against his door, Y/N peered inside and after receiving Kaz's consent, stepped through the threshold.

Y/N sat in front of his desk, a small smile playing on her face, ensued by a moment of silence, Y/N started talking. Kaz's head perked up at the sound of her voice, eyes leaving the papers to direct his whole attention to her but he had been completely caught off guard by the sight before him.

Y/N's mouth was moving but Kaz's couldn't hear a thing, it was as if someone had stolen the sound so he could only focus on Y/N's heavenly form.

Y/N's hair was slightly disheveled, gusts of wind occasionally brushing lonely strands into different directions, soft locks swishing in compass with a nonexistent melody. Sunset rays filtered through the window, lighting up Y/N's features. Sunlight beams fell gently down the slope of her nose, gently caressed her long lashes, and kissed her tender lips giving them a reddish hue.

At that moment, Kaz realized how dreadfully unjust the world was. How come was the wind able to run his breezy fingers across her beautiful hair? How could the rain brush her skin lovingly without repelling at the idea of skin contact? Why could the Sun kiss her graceful lips and he couldn't?

Kaz wanted to hold her, reach for her whenever he wanted without fear of drowning. He wanted to hug her and nuzzle his nose in her hair affectionately. He wanted to know what her skin felt like under his fingertips. Kaz wanted to know the taste of her lips.

Because he was in love with her.

________

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Y/N laid immobile in his bed, her skin almost as pale as his sheets, soft breaths escaped her lungs. Kaz sat in a chair near her fragile body, his frown deepened every time his eyes landed on a different wound.

Kaz felt like in a déjà vu, a vision that had happened exactly three weeks ago. This was the reason why Kaz had pushed her, why he had evicted her from the Slat, the one home she had ever known. But did it matter? All his efforts to keep her safe had been in vain.

That fateful night, when she had been the distraction in a supposed easy heist, everything had come tumbling down. The nightmares had started back then, where he first saw her all bloodied and beaten and unconscious. They didn't know if she would ever wake up. Kaz had refused to visit her, images of his nine-year-old self seeing her amongst the corpses in the Reaper's Barge haunted his days.

When she had woken up he'd wanted to see her, but he couldn't bring himself to because he knew what he had to do. Kaz couldn't bear the thought of her dying, he couldn't imagine her gone, but if he gave her hope, if she saw how much he cared, she would refuse to leave. He needed her to stay away for her safety

So he had done that, he had ruthlessly yanked his heart out of his chest when he had kicked her out. The words he had said to her tortured him since that day: "Do not think that just because I have kept you around for this long you're irreplaceable." And when he thought he couldn't feel more pain, Y/N had started crying. Silent droplets fell down her cheeks and Kaz felt as if the most savage assassin had ripped his heart into shreds.

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Seating there, silently watching Y/N's closed eyes, he was experiencing it all again. When they had found her she had been tied to a chair, unmoving, in one of the Dime Lion's warehouses. He swore his heart had stopped beating, she couldn't be dead, when Nina had checked for her heartbeat and announced it was still there, Kaz's heart reanimated.

Nina had done her best to heal her and now the only thing there was to do was wait until she woke up. This time Kaz had refused to leave her bedside. This time he would do things differently.

He had been a coward, he now realized. He should have never let her go. He should have been braver, stronger, he should have protected her. Now he realized he wanted, no, needed her with him. He had been too scared worrying for the future that he had forgotten to enjoy the present. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

"Kaz?"

His head shot back to Y/N. She was awake, she was alive and he would never let her go.

And with such a fervent emotion, he couldn't have thought himself capable of expressing, he said "Please, don't ever leave me again. "

Thanks for the song recommendation @itsemy01

Taglist:

@getawayfrommewerewolf, @lady1505, @rika90, @thedelusionreaderbitch, @coffeewithoutcaffeine, @aleksanderwh0r3, @princessleah129, @subjecta13-thefangirl

[hyuukais]

It’s What You Do To Me

Hey there, Delilah, I know times are gettin' hard

Word Count: 692

Genre: Yeonjun x reader, angst, just a whole lot of angst, song fic (?) ig

Warnings: descriptions of loneliness and crying yourself to sleep, generally just heavier themes involved with a long-distance relationship

Author: thank you @bbanghoonie , @taecup-fics , and @fullsunfluff for beta reading because the majority of this was written in a sleep-deprived stupor

Hey there, Delilah

“Um, hey, Junie. It’s me.”

What’s it like in New York City

“You’re probably really busy right now, but I just wanted to call. Leave a little voicemail for you when you get back.”

I'm a thousand miles away, but girl, tonight, you look so pretty, yes you do

Times Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true

“I saw your guys’ stage today! You looked absolutely amazing, as always. Oh, and that cool pyramid move you did! It was awesome!”

Hey there, Delilah, don't you worry about the distance

I'm right there if you get lonely, give this song another listen, close your eyes

“I’ve actually been saving up a bit so I could maybe come visit soon. Get to see you and the boys, y’know. It-it’d be really fun!”

Listen to my voice, it's my disguise

I'm by your side

“Ah…well, yeah. Call me back when you get the chance. I love you. Bye.”

Oh, it's what you do to me

Oh, it’s what you do to me

Sighing, I ended the call. I don’t know why I even tried in the first place. He’s probably asleep. God, I should’ve known. I should’ve known the moment those two words came up, those two disastrous, dreaded words. Long-distance.

We had been trying for about six months at this point since I moved away for school and his career skyrocketed. Most days went by with little-to-no contact, the majority of the time one of us was busy while the other was free. Calls were few and far between, and any type of video chat was usually out of the question. Today, for instance, my back-to-back classes and work rendered me unable to even send a voicemail until now, just past 10:00 pm for me but crawling into the early hours of the morning in Seoul.

The moon slowly slipping its way through cloudy skies, familiar loneliness settles in my heart. It comes every night, weighing me down, pinning me to the sheets. It presses against my eyes, pounds in my head, it fills every inch of my skin yet it leaves the biggest piece of me hollow. Every other limb so heavy, I can only feel the hole expanding in my chest, the venomous grip around my lungs, every tug and pluck at my heart. Solitude playing my heartstrings to the tune of my own misery. A tune of poignant nostalgia, of remembering the ghost of his touch, how it was soft and rough and everything in between, how he’d hug me tight as the moon rose and sleep settled in my bones. A tune reminiscent of the one Yeonjun would hum as we lay draped over the couch, tangled in the essence of love. Nothing but each other in mind.

These scenes once bathed in gold in my memories now plagued with the rot brought by time and distance. They said distance would make the heart grow fonder but neglected the growing pains. It’s been months since I’d seen him, held him, kissed him, and every day in between I’d been lying to him. My days were never the best. Lessons blurred together, day and night no more. I was no longer truly me, every day on autopilot stumbling through studies till I could finally get in bed. Till I could finally see him or at least hear his voice. Yeonjun was a home to me in a new place where I felt like I didn’t have one. The warmth disappeared along with his calls. I would never blame him for the cold. My brain was what brought it in absence of light. The cold that drenched me in yearning for warmth again as exhaustion took over, paralyzing the tears streaking my cheeks. Yeonjun’s only fault was making me fall this hard, only to be dragged back up in the absence of him. He drove my heart crazy. He made me laugh and smile and cry. And it’s all I'd ever wanted and hated so.

Oh, it's what you do to me

Oh, it's what you do to me

What you do to me

[xanasaurusrex]

Light - B.M.

Pairing: Beverly Marsh x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1918 words

Warnings: Love confession, mutual pining, swimming, swearing, Richie Tozier (it’s a warning within itself), kissing, tooth-rotting fluff I stg, Losers Club are aged up to 17, super crappy ending, not proofread, I think that’s it! Please let me know if I missed anything!

Summary: The other Losers know for a fact that Bev returns Y/N’s feelings, even though she’s blind to them herself. But after a set up one day, maybe she’ll see the light.

Notes: My first ever It (2017) fic! Also my first fic on Tumblr! Thank you to anyone who read this, because it’s taking a lot of courage to write this, let alone post it…. Yeah, Bev and Richie are my favorite characters in the movies, and, given my url, I figured my first fic should be a Bev fic! Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

******

“She likes you back, Y/N,”

“No she doesn’t.”

“Stop fighting it, we all see it!”

Y/N looked at Richie with a roll of her eyes, turning back forward to avoid crashing into anyone or anything with her bike. “Can you stop with that? I don’t want you giving me false hope when I know she doesn’t like me back,”

Richie was the one to roll his eyes this time.

Everyone in the Losers Club knew that Y/N had had a crush on Bev for as long as they could all remember. Since the first day she saw Bev in the pharmacy after they found Ben outside the sewers and had gone in to find the supplies to fix him up.

Bev had been the one to save the day. She had distracted the man at the counter while they took the things they needed, and had come back afterwards to make sure that Ben was okay. Of course, Y/N had realized that it was not the time to be admiring Bev, seeing as Ben had just had a pretty rough run-in with Bowers, and Eddie was freaking out enough as it was.

It didn’t take long for Y/N to fall completely in love with the red-headed Derry resident. She lived in the apartment above hers, and whenever Bev’s dad fell asleep, Bev would climb down the fire escape and climb into Y/N’s window.

Y/N would sit with her and listen to what she said, or would just sit there, and the girls would hug.

On those nights when Bev either couldn’t go down to Y/N’s apartment, or didn’t need to, Y/N would lay down, and stare up at the ceiling, knowing that Bev’s room was directly above her own. She would wonder what Bev was doing, if she was reading the secret admirer note that Ben had given her, or if she was thinking of Y/N just as much as she was thinking of Bev.

It was torture.

It took a little longer for the other members of the Losers Club to realize that Y/N was falling in love with Bev. After that, they all began encouraging her to confess to Bev, because even though at the time they hadn’t seen the light that ignited in Bev’s eyes the second they landed on Y/N, they wanted their friends to be happy, and who else to be happy with but each other?

That was all when they were twelve, nearly five years ago. In that time, they had all seen that Bev loved Y/N the same way Y/N loved Bev. It was hard to watch the two beat around the bush with each other; subtle flirting that neither one noticed (though everyone else did), and even harder to see them think that the other was in love with other people, though everyone else thought it was painfully obvious to everyone else that it was each other they were in love with.

Now, as Y/N and Richie biked home together, Richie tried his best to convince Y/N for the thousandth time that Bev liked her back, no, loved her back.

“I’m sorry Rich, I want to believe you, I really do,” Y/N said for the thousandth time. “But you’ve gotta be blind to not see that Bev and Bill are in love with each other,”

 Richie quickly realized that he didn’t have enough energy to argue with her today, even though he still wanted to, instead opting for a safer topic: the test that Mr. Herrd gave them today, that Richie was fairly sure he had failed.

***

“They’re both fuckin idiots,”

Everyone nodded in agreement at Richie’s statement as the entire Losers Club watched Y/N and Bev play around and splash each other in the lake in the quarry, both of them giggling like little girls, their cheeks bright pink, and not from the sun.

“Bev!” Y/N squealed as Bev splashed her with a particularly large amount of water. After taking a second to regain herself, she retaliated by splashing an even larger amount of water at Bev.

“It’s like they’re both wearing signs saying, ‘I’m in love with the person standing in front of me, but since I’m both a pussy and an idiot, I haven’t said anything yet,”

Stan rolled his eyes at Richie’s language, but agreed nonetheless. “I wish they would just admit it to each other already. To be honest, it’s getting tiring. Should we just… lock them in a room together and not let them leave until they confess?”

“That’s an idea,” Bill smiled.

“Maybe we should say we’re meeting at the Quarry but then none of us show up,” Eddie suggested. “Chances are they’re gonna stay and hang out, and maybe if we’re lucky they’ll say something?”

Richie scoffed. “Knowing them, fat chance. I think if this plan fails, we should go with Stan’s idea,”

The others all agreed, and decided when the best date would be to set this up, and then set the date for their backup plan, and decided they would do it at Bill’s house, since his is the biggest and they would be able to hang around and check in on them regularly without having to hear them kick and scream.

“You guys coming back?” Y/N broke the boys out of their trance after her and Bev realized that they had been splashing each other for nearly fifteen minutes, when they should have been splashing the boys. “We’re getting bored!”

The boys all gave each other a sly look before immediately running back towards the water, splashing Bev and Y/N immediately, all of them laughing as they got splashed back.

***

“Are they coming?”

Bev and Y/N had been at the Quarry for nearly half an hour, both of them laying against the rocks, sunbathing, in just their bikinis. It took everything in both of them not to stare at the other and admire everything about them.

Y/N glanced at the watch that she had taken off her wrist, anticipating that they’d be swimming, and saw that it was now forty five minutes after noon, the time all the Losers had agreed to be at the Quarry.

Y/N sighed. “I don’t think so. Maybe they all forgot?”

Bev laughed. “You think Stan forgot? He’s probably at Richie’s with the others trying to get Richie out of bed. How much d’you wanna bet he stayed up all night on his Gameboy again, and now he’s sleeping the day away?”

She said the last part in a mock-dreamy way, a tone of voice that had Y/N’s heart soaring. She had always loved the sound of Bev’s voice, and there were certain times when it would just go straight to tug on Y/N’s heartstrings. It was never a particular time, just… Bev.

Everything about Bev was magical to Y/N. Somehow, all it took was one small smile, one of Bev’s smiles, and all of a sudden, Y/N was a completely different person.

Normally, she didn’t really like physical contact. It wasn’t anything in particular that had caused it, she just never was a really cuddly person. She could enjoy a short hug, or a quick high five, but anything longer than about three seconds made her uncomfortable

She wasn’t that way with Bev. Y/N would hug her for eternity, and would never want to stop. The two often held hands, and told everyone else that it was purely platonic, though Y/N secretly wished that it would be something more.

Y/N knew that Bev was still talking, but she couldn’t focus on anything more than the way that Bev’s lips were moving, as they moved quickly and perfectly to form the words that were on Bev’s brain.

The conscious, realistic part of Y/N’s brain told her that she should be focusing on what her friend was actually saying. That in just a few seconds, Bev was going to do the thing that they always did in movies where she waved her hand in front of Y/N’s face and asked if she had heard anything she said.

Sure enough, she did.

“Y/N/N, are you even listening to me?” Bev asked with a small chuckle.

The sound alone sent more heat to Y/N’s cheeks.

“S-sorry,” Y/N said quickly, shaking her head, almost as if that would clear her head of the thoughts she shouldn’t be having about her best friend. “Just uh… feeling a little out of it today, that’s all,”

Bev nodded in understanding. “Yeah. Today just… feels weird.”

Y/N nodded in agreement.

The two stayed silent for a few more minutes, before Y/N sat up again. “So, since the boys aren’t coming, we probably shouldn’t wait for them to start swimming, right?”

Bev nodded in agreement, before jumping up and running towards the water, yelling, “Last one in the water is a dancing clown!” behind her, before immediately splashing into the water, getting to a deep enough area, and diving in.

Y/N cursed herself, and then immediately launched herself into the water after Bev, inadvertently splashing her with water as she came out of the water herself at the perfect time.

“Got you!”

***

Y/N shook the water droplets out of her hair, refraining from watching as Bev dried out her own hair, slipping the loose dress that she had brought with her over the bikini that she had worn.

It was now five forty five, and Y/N was going to be expected home for dinner soon. After realizing this, she had reluctantly told Bev that she needed to head home.

Since they lived in the same apartment complex, Bev said she’d go with her.

The sunlight from the sunset bounced off the lake and onto the two girls standing on the beach next to the lake in the Quarry.

Y/N couldn’t help herself this time. She looked up to Bev, and found that she was staring at her the same way, admiring how the golden light danced across her skin, from the top of her coppery red curls to the very bottom of her feet.

Before she could even process what she was doing, Y/N quickly closed the space between her and Bev, pressing her lips against Bev’s.

It only took Bev two seconds to kiss back, relieved that Y/N had been the one to make the first move.

After a few seconds, they realized that they needed air, so the two reluctantly pulled apart, resting their foreheads together.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?” Y/N whispered breathlessly.

“It was love at first sight, wasn’t it?” Bev asked. “I saw you with the boys and I knew that it was always going to be you. It’s always been you, Y/N,”

“It’s always been you, Bev,”

The two pulled apart, Bev’s arms still wrapped around Y/N’s neck, Y/N’s hands placed lovingly on Bev’s waist. As she looked into Bev’s eyes, she saw a glint in her eyes that she hadn’t seen before.

The light made Bev’s eyes even brighter than they already were, and the longer Y/N looked at her, the more she fell in love.

“I love you, Bev,” she confessed quietly, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulder at the confession. “I always have.

[sixeyesgojo]

Pictures of You

Summary: prequel to I’ll Be Your Enemy - fluffy!

Characters: IBYE!Reader, Gojo, Yuji, Megumi, Nobara

Word count: 2,3k

Content warning: none

A/N: requested by @thecaptainsbride

If anybody got the reference Gojo made when he was late; congratulations, you have been successfully hurt (but this time it was not me).

Since I left the relationship between Gojo and the reader up for interpretation in IBYE, I will do the same here! Consider this piece me trying to mend your hearts <3

Taglist applications open for anyone who is interested!

“A trip to an amusement park or something like that doesn’t sound so bad,” you mused in front of Satoru. “It serves as relaxation and maybe the first-years can get closer to each other, you know, bonding and so on. They will see each other many times from now on, so getting along with each other is important,” you reasoned, your eyes almost sparkling from the thought of a day off.

“But Jujutsu Sorcery is an individual–” he began.

“Satoru, I think you should see this as vacation. A vacation where you can eat sweets until your teeth rot and absolutely nobody will hold you back,” you interrupted him.

“Okay, I am sold. Am listening now.” You just knew how to convince him. Sweets.

So that was exactly how the first-year students and you ended up at a fairground somewhere in Tokyo; it was quite neat, not too small but not too spacious either. None of you could get lost in it. Still, it was buzzing with life and all kinds of people mingled. The colorfulness was a refreshing sight to take in, compared to the dark world of Jujutsu Sorcery where seeing people suffer was your daily routine. The pleasant smell of food wafted through the air, making your mouth water, as you walked past the different booths with them. Waffles sounded like absolute heaven on earth right now.

Jujutsu Sorcery certainly was a draining sport, mentally as well as physically. Therefore it was only right to take a break at times, right? Self-care days were just as important as working.

In order to wind down a bit, you had suggested a one-day trip – just you, Satoru and the three first-year students you had adopted in your mind right away after meeting them several times.

“Sensei, you look very pretty today!” Yuji complimented you. Even Megumi noticed: “Did you have a haircut? Your hair seems a little bit shorter.”

“Yeah, Nobara had a field day with me. Cutting my hair.. or more like trimming the ends, choosing my outfit, doing my make-up and so on just for today,” you gushed as if you were a high school girl again. “Leave it to master stylist Kugisaki Nobara and nobody will ever look bad,” the brunette girl commended herself. Yuji was affectionately patting her on the back.

Undoubtedly, Satoru was late – nobody was surprised about that. You already went ahead and generously treated the trio of students you loved dearly to some food.

“Thank you for the food, sensei!” As usual, Yuji and Nobara were in perfect harmony with each other, seemingly sharing a brain.

“Thank you very much,” Megumi also expressed his thanks sweetly. If you hadn’t known better, you would have thought the way his lips seemed to twitch was unintentional. “Absolutely no problem, kiddos. You guys enjoy it while I try to contact Gojo-sensei, yeah?” you shot them an apologetic smile, already fishing out your phone. The three of them nodded in perfect synchronization. They’re as cute as little ducklings, you thought.

You didn’t even need to bother calling.

You were about to dial Satoru’s number on your smartphone when Yuji’s voice boomed, “Oh! There he is! Gojo-sensei, we are here!!”

The boy waved at his teacher.

Satoru immediately spotted the pink-haired student and skipped over to where you all were standing. “Sorry for the wait! I’m afraid I got lost on the path of life!!”

“Nice of you to finally join us, but sadly, the fun is already over and we decided to go home. Just wanted to call you to let you know! We’ve been here since morning,” you deadpanned as the white-haired man arrived, looking Satoru dead in the eye – if they weren’t covered. “Wait, wha– Hold on, I am very sure I am not that late. MY MOCHI?” Satoru sounded frantic, facing his students who just shrugged their shoulders. “Serves you right,” Megumi stated calmly. Nobara, being the sassy girl she was, also joined in, “Losers don’t get to have fun and that’s a fact.”

It was such a wholesome and funny moment for you to see the students playing along with your prank without being told beforehand.

You broke out in laughter, not being able to contain it any longer, “You should have seen your face, dumbass! I was just joking!”

“Phew, I almost thought I had to kiss the idea of eating sweets today goodbye. What a horror that would be, my day would be OVER this instant,” the blindfolded man pouted, “so where should I buy my sweets? I’m gonna buy the entire place anyway, but where do I start? Any suggestions for Great Teacher Gojo?”

“Hold up, Satoru! We gotta take a picture together to commemorate this special day!” you suggested, bouncing up and down with enthusiasm. “I swear I just saw sensei’s eyes sparkle but I might be wrong,” Yuji remarked, looking at his dark-haired friend for confirmation.

“Sensei, if you want to take a picture, we have to take it at the right angle!” Nobara chimed in, the secret Instagram influencer in her on full display. She continued to explain, “It would come out great if Gojo-sensei took the pic, long arms privilege and so on.”

The female student almost seemed more into it than you were, it was adorable to you to see the usually bold student be this into taking pictures.

You hand the tall man your phone, but not without shooting him a “if you drop my phone, I’ll make you drop dead” look.

“Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation,” the male teacher commanded loudly. Upon hearing that, Megumi immediately slapped his hand in his face and turned away in embarrassment. Why was this man like this?

“...Ladies?” Yuji asked, the expression on his face screaming ‘confusion’ “Gojo-sensei just referenced a Beyoncé song, Itadori,” the dark-haired boy explained in a hushed tone, turning back slightly as if he did not want to get caught.

“And it’s not just any song!” Satoru happily chimed in. “Yes, yes, the good old Formation,” you added, nodding in satisfaction. You remember how you showed him the album when it dropped.

“Can we all just ignore Gojo-sensei and take our pic?” Nobara inquired as she shoved everybody into their respective spots. “Alright, everybody, smiiiiile for the camera. Say cheese!”

Click, click, click, click.

Finally, Satoru had gotten his share of sweets. Complying with his sweet tooth was always an effective way to calm him for some time. Almost like feeding a baby, in a way.

Now it was time for fun rides!

...or at least that was what you thought… until Satoru dragged you along to ride a freaking pendulum ride with him. The three students had managed to talk themselves out of stepping foot on that monster of a ride but Satoru didn’t even give you a chance to refuse, he simply gripped your arm and walked towards it.

Stopping only when you were already standing in line, you nervously eyed the metallic behemoth with its iron arm. The monstrosity was seemingly ready to make you throw up from the way it would spin you through the air repeatedly, going back and forth and back and forth again. Why did you have to do this?

“Satoru,” you called his name timidly and tugged at his sleeve, the strange feeling not leaving your gut, “do I really, really have to do this?”

“Absolutely! I promise it will be very fun,” Satoru replied with a signature grin you wanted to wipe off of his face at that moment.

No, it was not fun. At all. You were dizzy and your fear of height was kicking. The blasts of air hitting your face left, right and center were not helping at all and you were sure, if anybody took a picture of you right now, you would look horribly green.

“I– can’t do this anymore!” you shouted mid-air, right before the ride swung to the other side. The force knocked the air out of you once again.

“SATORU, PLEASE GET US OUT OF HERE!” you begged and squeezed his arm with an iron grip. The height was too overwhelming. “Mid-ride?” Satoru asked and you nodded frantically. “Now that’s what I call reckless! Sounds like fun. I’m in!” he declared with a grin.

“Domain Expansion: Infinite Void.”

That was the last thing you heard the tall man say before he touched your head with his large palm.

Your eyes widened in horror as you realized this man used his domain this recklessly, for fun. Maybe it was a side effect of being able to use it multiple times a day.

The infinity gently wrapped itself around Satoru and you. Almost movie-like, you watched as the entire, vast universe beautifully unfolded in front of your eyes. Each star being created separately, then abruptly flashing by as a sea of stars – as if you were in a wormhole. You perceived the entire domain within a flash of a moment, yet tasted eternity in it. Everything but nothing at once.

Despite being touched by Satoru himself, the sensations weren’t without merit. If this was how it felt to be in the safe space of Satoru’s touch within his inner world of Limitless, you would rather not fathom how it felt to be the one hit by this powerful domain.

It took you some time to process things and recollect.

“When I said I wanted you to get the two of us out of that thing, I didn’t mean ‘send me to your domain’,” you scolded him.

“Well, it was convenient,” he defended himself and you could almost hear the grin on his face, “Bet you’ll hate me after this though.”

“Hating you was never really an option I’d ever consider but okay, we’ll run with it this time. Now undo your domain, please, while I am asking nicely.”

“Your wish is my command! This time at least.”

“Satoru.” A stern last warning fell from your lips.

“Yes, yes, boss. On it.”

“I thought you said it’ll be fun but I am absolutely not riding that thing ever again,” you took deep breaths to calm down as your feet securely touched the ground again. Your legs were still trembling a bit.

“And it was fun! At least for me! I like seeing you struggle – it’s so funny – and the way you clung to my arm? Adorable! You are so tiny compared to me, like a bug I could crush between my fingers!” The annoying sorcerer laughed merrily.

“Gojo fucking Satoru, the only thing that is about to be crushed here are your balls. With my leg. You are very lucky to have that damn Infinity of yours or else,” you threatened.

“Ouch, you really do know how to hurt an invincible man,” he snickered and flicked your forehead lightly.

Rejoining with the students was easy as they all saw the barrier Satoru’s domain created.

“You are lucky there was some kind of show going on down here. That barrier above would have freaked people out if they weren’t distracted,” Nobara said, looks shooting daggers at her weird teacher. Innocent and as nice as ever, Yuji pitched in as well: “Yeah, Fushiguro also tried to distract children with their wandering eyes! I think he did a good job.”

“Okay but what did he do though?” you asked curiously and looked at the boy in question.

“...Shadow puppets,” Megumi slowly admitted, looking anywhere but at the people in front of him.

“Oh? You love your foster-dad-turned-great-teacher this much to embarrass yourself out in public? That’s new!” Satoru teased the poor boy. “Someone has to be the voice of reason around here or you’d all be in jail. That includes preventing civilians who are able to see curses from seeing you use Jujutsu while floating mid-air,” he justified, ignoring the tall teacher’s mockery completely. 

“As much as I love slandering Gojo-sensei, I’d rather spend my day actually having fun,” Nobara pitched in, reminding everybody of why you were here in the first place.

“So, let’s go ride the ferris wheel!” she added excitedly.

More fun rides.

Before you knew it, the day passed by. You could already feel the heaviness in your legs from walking. The swirling feeling from all the rides boded in your chest – you probably would not be able to sleep well tonight. It was definitely worth it though, you thought.

You had already brought the students back to their dorm – Satoru had ran off to the school because he remembered he had to do something – and were on the way home yourself.

You were in some sort of trance, completely immersed in your phone, so you hadn’t registered when Satoru called your name until he gently tapped your shoulder, falling into step with you.

“Yeah?” you looked up to Satoru, snapping out of your train of thought.

“Just wanted to tell you; ‘Operation: Relaxation Day’ was a great success.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Satoru.” A genuine smile graced your lips and for a moment, he softened at the sight.

“You know what? It was amazing, I really should start listening to you more often,” he confessed with a smirk.

“Well, it’s thanks to your amazing power of persuasion that we got to spend it like this, so thanks for today,” you half-heartedly complimented him.

“You do know I only said we’d not be available today and then dashed, right?” he asked you, the usual playful tone lacing his voice. “Exactly what I meant by saying ‘your amazing power of persuasion’.”

“I think I’ll frame the picture we took,” you murmured softly, fondly looking at the screen of your phone. The picture from earlier was displayed on your homescreen.

Surely, you would hang it on the blank wall in your home as well. It was a personal treasure now.

Taglist (dm me if you wanna be added): @assbuttbaek​ @megumifushi​ @bleueluna​ @gojos-mochi​ @delammi

[bakujho]

Another rant about some Shady Eels

So, back again to talk about the shady eels though this time focusing on how with the information we’ve been given we can pretty well confirm the Leech family are mafia. We’ve gotten a few solid gems of information the last little while, pretty well confirming what we always figured. Octavinelle has got that mafia theme, so everyone expected some shadiness, but the info we’ve been fed about the Leech parents really brings home that it’s not just the dorm theme, and that the twins and Azul aren’t just “cosplaying as mafia baddies for aesthetic”. 

So what exactly do we KNOW? 

The twins were taught self defense by their parents from a young age. (Jade voice lines)

When they were children their parents ‘associates’ would buy them luxury or rare  birthday gifts...then were made to sign waivers saying that the gift had no ulterior motives and wouldn’t constitute a favour in return.  (Jade birthday)

Their father has told them that appearances on land are important, and to pay close attention to the little details. (When Idia asks for further clarification, he cuts Floyd off before he goes further saying that any further and he feels like he’d be “ensnared by darkness”) (Floyd dance and wishes wish)

There were many parties back in the Leech household, but they were more formal in nature. (floyd birthday)

Eels have a “tough guy” image in the sea, and them being carnivores doesn’t help. (floyd birthday)

Mama leech worries about her babies and contacts them often (jade birthday)

That they have a family run business, that has contacts with a LOT of kinds of different people. Jade tells us it’s VERY normal. (jade birthday)

Leech parents have spoiled their kids before, so they’re likely fairly well off. (floyd birthday)

Floyd seems to have a bit of a sore spot regarding humans (floyd robes) 

So obviously, without 100% confirmation, it’s impossible to say MAFIA LEECH ARE CANON, but with everything we’ve been given I’m pretty confident in saying it’s damn likely. That’s not even the fun part, cause it’s so surface level obvious considering Octavinelles theme, I decided to jump into it more. @chillableu​ had posted a comment in a shared discord that really got my brain whirring about WHY the mafia fam is maybe a bigger thing than just aesthetic, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Headcanon accepted, chilla. I thank you. (I took out your name in case you didn’t want anyone on discord to find you by it)

  I’ll put the rest of this under a cut since it’s really just me theorizing and head canoning a whole ton of shit about the Leech fam based on humans treating fish as lesser beings incapable of the same level of emotions and intelligence as themselves, adding in bits from other media that has mermaids, mythology, and a touch of the history of the mafia.

Not even really sure where to start with this, but here we go. So, What if the Leech fam (be it great grandpa/grandma leech or current Leeches) started the mafia as a way to protect themselves due to the mistreatment of merfolk that were more “monster” like than the regular human kind mermaids we’ve only seen up until now. Its reported that the original Sicilian mafia started as a way for certain families that were facing persecution from the rest of the towns that eventually spiraled into the crime syndicates we all know from various media today. Outside of the twins and Azul, all the other merfolk that have been shown in game have been the “fully human on top, fish bottom” type, and with Azul being bullied because we was a rare 8 legged mermaid, and the magicamonsters from the Halloween event seeing merfloyd and remarking how RARE it was to see one, so I’m thinking that maybe the Leech fam started as a way to protect themselves, since if carnivorous merfolk are seen as more brutish, they may have seen a lot of discrimination from other merfolk and humans alike. 

It’s no secret that Toboso has been covering a lot of heavy topics dressed up in Disney clothes, and has already addressed discrimination and fetishization with the scarabia, savanaclaw, and more recently Diasomnia boys (well, mostly Malleus in the halloween event being treated like an object). So what I’m thinking is that there’s an underlying problem in the twstverse, where non-humans are treated badly, and non-humans with monster features even more so. So the leech fam bands together with whatever other monster like merfolk families there are and create their own little area in the coral sea, and eventually expand out into other types of business until they’re in a comfortable enough position to not really worry about any backlash anymore. Floyd has shown some distaste before about being ordered around by humans, which could be an ingrained quality from his parents, or he himself may have experienced some form of mistreatment at the hands of humans before. If the leech fam has a lot of ‘associates’ I think it’s safe to say that they weren’t the only ones feeling abandoned by the normal merfolk and humans .

In Japanese folklore there are creatures called Ningyo (basically human fish), which were both feared as creatures that would bring calamity and misfortune, and prized as their flesh was supposed to be sweet tasting and grant near immortality if eaten. Mermaids in a lot of more modern media are also more nuanced than the “beautiful fish that sailors fall in love with”. Even in One Piece, there’s the mermaids that are captured and sold off to the rich as prize objects to collect and display, and the Fishmen, which are the strong brutes that are ostracised by nearly everyone in series for them simply being fish. If Toboso wanted to touch on the mythology in TWST it would make sense that the more monster-like mermaids have created their own sub-society separate from the regular merfolk. During the Halloween event, the children seem to be pretty scared by Floyd because he’s huge, so what if that’s nothing new for him and why he’s so good with kids? Cause as a mermaid they’re used to people being openly scared of them without any good reason outside of their appearance. I also suspect that Floyd and Jade have a few more siblings, since in one of Floyds home screen lines he says that he’s not the youngest nor the oldest, and tbh, eels lay thousands of eggs, so it wouldn’t be surprising that he knew how to deal with the kid without any struggle. 

What if, when the eels are first hatched they’re a lot smaller than they were and like in the original article that started all of this, humans were needlessly cruel to them and many of them died out of sheer neglect, or that humans just didn’t think merfolk as capable as having acute emotions and saw them as lowly fish rather than sentient beings. We saw with the Magicamonsters that there’s a complete disregard for the feelings of Malleus when they made it a challenge to touch his horns and get a picture, so I imagine that has to extend to merfolk as well when they’re actually seen. That same mindset could have extended to the regular mermaids as well, which is why mermaids like Azul were so tormented for being different, even though they’re all fucking mermaids at the end of the day. So bringing this back to the Leech fam, they decided that they weren’t going to stand for the same level of discrimination from humans and other merfolk alike and began building their own empire. They have contacts in the sea that extend to those on land (otherwise how would the twins get the rare land items for their birthdays), and have an extensive network of associates, with the added bonus of brilliant mermaid twins, one of which is incredibly cunning, the other quick to violence and both of them raised to defend themselves should the need arise. 

So basically, I’m fully on the “Mafia Leech Fam is canon for real” train and at this point it’s going to be very hard to change my mind. I feel like there were a few more things I wanted to touch on with this but they’ve poofed themselves into the depths of my mind somewhere, so I may have to come back to them later. If you have anything to add, please let me know cause brain rotting about the Leech fam is honestly one of my favourite past times right now.

[gojoscloset]

Damaged goods

Suna Rintarou x Fem!Reader Pt. 1

Suna confesses to reader who still dwells on their trauma

WARNINGS:

Brief mentions of Sexual trauma

Bad words

Not edited

Mayhaps really out of character

Self indulgent

Angst

Word count: 3k+

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“Her?!”

“Yeah, her.” Suna confirmed, sharp eyes watching your expressions change as you interacted with your friends quite a few lunch tables away.

“Ha! Yeah, good luck Rin. I heard She’s prude as fuck” his friend patted Suna’s shoulder in a rough yet playful way. “I‘ve been school mates with her since intermediate, no good. She’s never dated anyone, rejects any confessions thrown her way, and immediately rejects people’s advances. You’re booking a room at the Heartbreak hotel if you’d ask me.”

“I didn’t ask, but thanks for looking out.” He didn’t expect his friend to react so negatively, immediately he changed the topic, no longer wanting to speak of you if it wasn't praise. Either way,Suna couldn't care less about who you rejected and why they got rejected. At the end of the day, they weren't him, and they didn’t know you.

___

You unknowingly planted a ‘parasite’ in Suna’s mind, as he likes to call it. He recalls the exact moment in which you were no longer blurred in the background, but right in his face the whole time; a small act of kindness that rotted his brain away with how much he thought about it.

He started noticing how frequent you two run into each other after the first ‘encounter’, now he quietly and stealthily looks your way in hopes of possibly catching you doing another kind act. Much to Suna’s surprise, he had the privilege of witnessing your integrity on multiple occasions which only made him want to be closer to you.

Of course he never initiated anything, nor did he make the effort to speak to you. He felt there really was no proper way to approach you without it being awkward in his eyes. What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to initiate conversation?

“Hey, I have seen you do kind things for others and now I want to get to know you?”

“Hello, I saw you pay for someone’s items one time and now i can’t stop thinking about you, i’m Suna Rintaro”

Thoughts that kept him up sometimes. Thoughts that took up the free space in his mind until they started to affect his little day to day routines. It scared him to see himself willingly want to do things for you that were completely out of character. You. A person he only got to see a glimpse of, maybe that's what kept his infatuation burning. To think that the light that radiated from you was just what seeped through the cracks, a sample of who you really were, he only got a little taste and he was feening for more.

Suna was a quiet man, but he could only keep his head in the clouds for so long before someone noticed.

“So, what’s been on your mind?” Kita pulled him to the side after practice one day and that’s when he spilled everything to Kita. Kita himself was surprised yet honored to see this vulnerable side of Suna.

With a little encouragement from his teammate, he decided to tell you how he felt. He of course asked Kita and Aran for assistance,as they were the most level-headed members of the team and his friend group. They suggested the letter method opposed to the DM method Suna insisted would ‘be a lot easier’ to do. But they weren’t going to let him be a coward. “Things such as romance shouldn’t be done half-assed.” Kita damn near scolded him and reluctantly Suna obliged.

Somehow the twins caught wind of the plan, and decided they would be there while he confessed, in hiding of course. And after dragging Kita and Aran along, despite their protests and mentions of violating Suna’s privacy, the gang was somehow all there.

——

He practiced this very moment countless times in his head even preparing for rejection.

“Suna-San..'' you looked up from the envelope he handed you, you stared directly into his eyes, various forms of negative emotions displayed on your own face causing his anxiety to shoot through the roof, but the smile you gave him afterwards alleviated it just a tad.

‘Heartbreak Hotel…’ His friend's words repeated in his mind and Suna wondered if maybe he made a mistake, even if he barely said anything, did his actions come off too strong?

“...I am flattered, I really am…” You chuckled a bit, hiding the lower half of your face with the letter, slightly embarrassed but really flattered.

Oh how He wished you hadn’t done that. He wanted to see how you beamed because of him, even if the rejection would follow afterwards, he wished that smile reached him.

“But please don’t waste your time on me.” You laughed, examining the envelope, not looking at him while your fingers traced the large red heart sticker that sealed the confession.

He took the hit like a man, understanding that not everyone was going to like him in that way and rejection in life was inevitable, but he wasn’t going to let this go so easily, not when it came to you. Not when you called it a waste of time.

You were grateful that Suna didn’t do this in front of everyone, like all the others, Blissfully unaware that the devils were in the details and said devils were actually listening in and cheering for Suna silently on the other side of the lockers.

There were a million things Suna wanted to say but he couldn’t choose what to say in time before things went awkwardly silent. You couldn’t look at him for long before you shyly turned away, once again covering your face as you laughed.

“Thank you though.. but yeah… I’ll see you tomorrow in class?” You took a step to the side to walk past him, but before you managed to get away he took a step in front of you, stopping you in your tracks.

He gave you a serious look once he finally grasped onto something to say , there wasn’t any hidden anger in his gaze, much to your relief.

“Pursuing you isn't a waste of my time.” He said plainly, his cool demeanor never wavered but internally his heart was doing flips. You were not expecting this kind of reaction honestly. Everyone else you had rejected always took it like a bitch, utterly offended and of course left you hurt with the slew of insults they used to mask their pain and to get back at you on their way out.

But not Suna, he had patience and was understanding. It hurt you that you had to reject him, but you couldn’t do that to him, not when you were still… fucked.

“That’s ‘cause you don’t even know me.” Your laugh was a pained one, and your fight or flight senses kicked in, he was stretching the moment as much as possible and it made you nervous.

“I know enough to know I want more.” he replied.

“And that’s a mistake on your end.” You snapped but you didn’t mean to. Your hands began to shake and your voice was beginning to crack under the pressure. You knew he meant no harm in prying, but you wished he would have reacted the way all the others have since It would have been easier to escape the situation.

His heart was heavy, but obviously not as heavy as yours.

“Look, Suna” you began, exhaling deeply. Your eyes finally met his. “I’m what they call damaged goods, okay? I won’t be able to give you what you want. Relationships require things that are difficult for me to give, and I think it’s best you trash the idea.” Your voice was small but the meaning behind your words was not.

“What is it that's required?” His hand rubbed the back of his neck, the nerves finally hitting him breaking his chill character. “Y-you never know..M..maybe you don’t have to give it to me...”

Your brows were knit together, confused at how oblivious he was. Did he really not get it? Or was this all an elaborate prank?

You opened up your mouth to speak but before you could mutter anything out, Kita came from around the corner, immediately you shoved the letter into your back pocket. Little did you know the letter was their doing. Well, Mainly Aran and Kita.

“Oh, there you are Rin. I hope I’m not intruding in anything, but we can’t start practice without you.”

Kita gave you a nod and a small smile, you returned the nod, and attempted with the smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes as it normally would.

Suna had a confused look on his face, but he played along. “Right…. “ He muttered, turning to look at you. You stared back at him but you were the first one to break eye contact

“Do your best at practice..I’ll see you around.” You whispered and quickly saw yourself out.

——

Atsumu, Osamu, and Aran stepped from the other side once Kita gave them the cue.

They rushed to Suna’s side, immediately bombarding him with praise and encouragement, and Suna hated it. He didn’t mean to feel this way, but Suna knew the praise came from a place of pity, it was etched on their sad smiles. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, even if he knew they were just trying to help.

Practice went on as it normally would, Suna was quieter though, as expected. He let his mind wander, the scene replaying in his head, trying to ping the exact moment where he messed up.

Kita pulled him to the side once again after practice.

“You are no coward.” Kita gave him a reassuring smile, Suna couldn’t return it though.

“It feels like I am.” He took a seat on the steps outside, Kita following suit.

“It’s understandable why you feel that way, romance is nothing easy. But you did what you could out there, you should be proud of yourself.” Kita threw in another one of his smiles but Suna wasn’t even looking his way, his mind everywhere but here.

Kita continued, knowing Suna was probably not going to say much to him. “ But the reason I pulled you aside today was to explain why I intervened. It seems that what she said went way over your head and I couldn’t continue to listen to you unknowingly pry.”

With those words Suna was thrown back to planet earth. He snapped his head in Kita’a direction, visible uncertainty in his eyes.

“It was when l/n talked about being ‘damaged goods’ and about what she couldn’t give you in a relationship.” Kita looked at Suna, searching his eyes to see in case the lightbulb finally flicked on. But it didn’t so he continued.

“I’m in a place I don’t belong, but Rin, I’m pretty sure she was referring to trauma...whether it be sexual or not, I suggest you refrain from prying.”

The cogs in Suna’s mind finally began to spin. He was able to put the pieces together and see the entire image for what it was. It made him sad to think that you referred to yourself as ‘damaged goods’ because of your past. He wanted to doubt the possibility, but the pieces to the puzzle fit all too well for it to be anything else.

Not only that- Kita, being as intuitive as he was, was usually never wrong about these kinds of things, nor would he lie to Suna. Especially about something like that.

He then remembered the ‘warning’ his friend gave him that one day. A wave of disappointment rushed through him knowing that his ‘friend’ made assumptions about you whilst being completely oblivious to the truth.

All of these things ran through his mind at a million miles per second. “Are you okay?” Kita snapped him out of his trance, he didn’t realize he hadn’t moved or said anything since he put it all together.

“Yeah.” He stood up and walked down the remainder of the concrete steps, Kita following his lead. “I’m heading home. Uhh...thanks for looking out, even if things didn’t go as planned” Suna rubbed the back of his neck and turned to watch Kita walk down the remainder of the steps

“And thank you for confiding in me, even though somehow the twins caught wind of it all.” They both chuckled at the last part.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, and chin up. You did your best” Kita waved him goodbye and headed home. Suna gave him a wave and headed home himself. Even though he got his feelings for you off his chest, he still felt like he couldn’t breathe. Like somehow the weight on his shoulders had increased.

—-

Reading the letter fucked you up. Of course it made your heart skip a beat, but it also made you hate yourself for familiar reasons.

Paragraph after paragraph of nothing but praise. You hated how you couldn’t see any of the things he said in yourself.

You fucking hated how being touched by someone without consent changed your entire life. You hated how much influence your past had on your future.

Moments like these and confessions like this made you question if you would ever live the life you wanted.

The concepts of marriage, children, sex, and almost all forms of physical intimacy made you cringe and shiver in disgust.

Things you once desired became things you hated, all because someone else fucked them up for you.

—

“Are you okay?...” your best friend, Hanako, asked as she looked up from the envelope you opened cautiously so as to not mess up the sticker.

You nodded, no longer having the energy to speak after all the crying. You didn’t even look at her while she asked, you just sat on your bed, staring at the wall mindlessly playing with the fur of one of your blankets.

“Your feelings are valid, I hope you know.” She rubbed soothing circles on your back and again you nodded, wiping your eyes again.

“It just sucks ya know? Because I want this so bad, but who the fuck is going to want to wait around for me? Imagine getting in a relationship with someone you can’t be intimate with because they’re scared. Like great, what a waste of their time.” You shook your head and went back to playing with the fur.

“None of those things are true, and the real world is wayyyy different. There are people out there who are patient and understanding and there is more to love than what you know. Trust me, take it from someone who’s graduated and has a little taste of real life .” She placed a hand on your shoulder and shook it playfully, trying to get you out of your funk.

“It doesn’t feel that way.” You muttered under your breath

“You feel this way only because you haven’t fully healed. And I don’t blame you y/n… the things you underwent require a lot of healing so please take as much time as you need and go easy on yourself.....” she grabbed your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

There wasn’t much left you had to say, but Hanako stayed by your side a while longer, watching a movie she knew was your fave to try and ease the pain. She had been here with you many times before and she would do it again and again because she loved you and wanted you to love yourself.

Hanako left long after the sun had set, she would’ve spent the night but she knew you had class the following morning.

But you couldn’t go to sleep, instead you reread the letter. Reading the paragraphs that made you feel like you were actually worth someone’s time over and over again.

‘There hasn’t been a day since that you don’t cross my mind. What started off as curiosity became something more. Your kind heart connected with that smile, that laugh, that face, It became too much for me to bear, I couldn’t go another day without telling you.’

Tears fell onto the paper, and you were quick to use your shirt to dab away the tears, not wanting to mess up the effort he put into it. After rereading the letter for what seemed to be the thousandth time, you decided it was time for bed.

After doing your routine you headed for bed, but as soon as your head hit the pillows your phone buzzed multiple times.

‘@2501Suna Sent you a message request’

‘Hey I know it’s late but’

‘It didn’t register to me what u meant by damaged goods until way after’

‘I’m sorry I’m kind of a dummy’

‘I didn’t mean to pry’

‘or make u uncomfortable’

‘And forgive me if I’m speaking in a place I’m not welcome’

‘But if what I think happened, happened’

‘I still stand by what I said in the letter’

‘And u are still deserving of love’

‘Have a Goodnight and see u tomorrow (^:’

He seemed to press enter with every Sentence causing your phone to buzz continuously.

You read the messages as they came in real time and just when you thought you’d stopped crying, fresh tears seeped out again.

You didn’t have much to say so all you did was double tap the messages, little hearts appearing at the bottom of each one, your way of showing your appreciation without having to say anything.

It was crazy to think that you had plagued someone's mind like Suna claimed you did. Even in the late night he still thought of you and considered your feelings, and even if you did reject him, Suna didn’t look for ways to kill the ‘parasite’ in his brain. If anything it fed it more.

You couldn’t help but smile at the messages, even if the horrendous self doubt clouded your mind, it was his efforts and his own kind heart that parted the clouds for you, you basked in the feeling, even if it was just for the moment.

A/N:

Trauma does not define you

Trauma does not get to influence your choices

Love is real

& Love is out there for you

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[hermannsthumb]

I've read fics where Hermann disapproves of PDAs but what about the reverse? As in he's so stunned at winning the most amazing man in the Shatterdome (6 phds, literal rockstar, gorgeous Newt) that he deliberately provokes contact and shows of affection. Just to show off to people and send a clear back off signal. And Newt just dotes on him obliviously.

ok this one is another super old prompt and when I was writing it this week it KINDA got away from me. but I hope everyone enjoyyyys. partially inspired from conversations with @k-sci-janitor 👀 totally sfw, except for one brief reference

anyway, a fic about hermann being all affectionate with newt and also discovering what relaxation is 

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The day after the world doesn’t end, Hermann brings Newt breakfast in bed.

Honestly, it surprises Newt more than the whole world not ending thing. Up until the previous evening, after all, Newt was pretty damn sure the guy absolutely hated him, and that if Hermann was gonna do something as out of character as bringing him breakfast, it surely meant he’d spat in it first. Or maybe poisoned it. If hated isn’t the right word, Newt would say Hermann at the very least barely tolerated. And then the whole sharing the neural load thing happened. And, after that, hugging, not once, but twice, and then falling asleep in bed together. And now Hermann’s perched on the edge of his bed (which they shared while they slept) and handing him a plate.

“You had quite the busy day yesterday,” Hermann says kindly. Hermann has never spoken to Newt kindly before. Atop the plate are two pieces of toast, a soft-boiled egg, and a mug of coffee. The coffee and toast (Newt notices) are exactly the shade he prefers. He wonders if Hermann picked up on it before or after the whole mind-melding thing. Before wouldn’t surprise him—Hermann has always been weird about noticing details like that. The egg, however, is something purely Hermann in taste. “I imagine you could use a nice spot of breakfast,” he adds.

Newt shoves his glasses on and blinks at Hermann groggily. He struggles to sit up, partially tangled in his sheets, and then takes the plate. A little bit of coffee sloshes down onto one of the slices of toast. “Are you wearing my sweatshirt?” he says.

Hermann smiles and looks down at the ragged old MIT sweatshirt he’s tossed on. He may have a few inches on Newt, but he’s still one skinny motherfucker, and it hangs almost comically off his frame. “I am,” he says. “I poked around in your closet, I hope you don’t mind. My clothing was in a rather sorry state.”

Sorry state is an understatement for both of them. Newt’s surprised they haven’t been formally ordered to burn the shit they wore to the bone slums yet. Blood, dirt, and kaiju guts aside, Newt’s, at least, reeks to high heaven with sweat. “No worries,” Newt says. He picks up the coffee and blows on it. He wonders where Hermann got coffee that smells this good. It’s been hard to find anything decent and non-instant on the base these days, and (thanks to limited rations) chain shops like Starbucks cost an arm and a leg for even a small. He also wonders what people thought when they saw Hermann strutting around the base with bedhead in a sweatshirt that obviously wasn’t his. Newt almost wants to blush on his behalf. Scandalous.

Before Newt can so much as take a sip of the coffee, Hermann is suddenly unbuckling and shucking off his grey slacks. “Dude!” Newt yelps, flushing bright red to the tips of his ears. Hermann blinks at him innocently. “What are you doing?”

It’s not so much that Newt is upset as it is that it’s so wildly out of character for Hermann that he feels he owes it to Hermann to act at least moderately scandalized. In all his years of knowing and working alongside Hermann, he’s never so much as seen Hermann’s bare wrist before. Now he’s in Newt’s goddamn bed flashing calves, and thighs, and neatly-pressed little white briefs… Hermann rolls his eyes and tosses the slacks (unfolded!) onto Newt’s desk chair. “Making myself comfortable,” he says. “Would you like me to stop?”

Does Hermann iron his underwear? It would be at odds with the rest of his clothing if he did, which is usually in various stages of frumpy to outright wrinkled, but Newt can’t think of how else it would look like that. He wonders if Hermann’s stitched his name on the inner waistband. It seems like the kind of thing Hermann would do. Newt suddenly realizes he’s been staring at Hermann’s briefs (and, worse still, considering how cute Hermann looks in just them and Newt’s sweatshirt) for an uncomfortably long time, so he quickly shakes his head and drags his eyes to Hermann’s face. One of Hermann’s eyebrows is quirked up. Newt hasn’t been subtle. “No,” he says. He clears his throat. “No, dude, you’re—all good.”

He chokes down a too-hot sip of coffee to have something to do with his mouth.

Hermann smirks.

The bedcovers are drawn back. Hermann slips under them and drapes an arm across Newt’s chest, his hand curling protectively over Newt’s hip. With his other hand he snags Newt’s coffee from his grasp and takes a sip. Newt watches his jaw and throat work as he swallows it, a funny feeling blooming in the pit of his stomach. The mug is handed back over, Hermann’s fingers brushing against Newt’s, which make Newt feel even funnier. “Newton,” Hermann declares. “I think we ought to have sex.”

“Oh,” Newt says. “Can I finish my breakfast first?”

“Certainly,” Hermann says.

Newt’s heart pounds as he spreads a little packet of margarine across one of the pieces of toast; he can feel Hermann’s eyes on him, never straying once. Hermann’s hand draws little circles on his hip. Newt drops his toast twice to the plate before he can successfully take a bite, and even when he does, he doesn’t taste it. Hermann’s fingers dip under the hem of his t-shirt. Newt swallows his toast. “Why?” he says.

Apparently it’s the right question. Hermann nods, like he’s pleased Newt has asked. Like they’re talking theories or something. “I came to the conclusion while I fetching your coffee,” Hermann says. “It occurred to me that I wouldn’t have gotten up at seven in the morning to get coffee for just anyone. Then, of course, there is the whole drifting business—”

“You realized you wouldn’t have done that for just anyone too, huh?” Newt says with a smile. Hermann’s hand on his hip stills, and his cheeks go pink. Newt’s relieved to have gotten some ground back here. “Hermann, that’s sooo romantic.”

“The world was at stake,” Hermann sniffs.

“It’s okay,” Newt says. “I won’t tell anyone the great Dr. Gottlieb has feelings. So, what, you realized you have a big ole crush on me?”

Hermann takes the unfinished piece of toast from him and sets it down on his plate. He pulls Newt’s glasses off, kisses him soundly, and then puts Newt’s glasses back on. His mouth tastes like toothpaste. “On the contrary, I’ve always suspected it,” he says. “It’s just that now I have the time to confirm it.” He reaches up and strokes at Newt’s hair. “We have the time for lots of things, now, Newton. Whatever we’d like.”

Newt finishes off his coffee quickly, not even caring when he burns his tongue, and then tosses the remainder of his breakfast to the floor. His egg spills onto the massacred skinny corduroys he wore yesterday. Whatever, Newt’s burning them anyway. “God, get overhere already, man,” he says, tugging at Hermann’s borrowed sweatshirt. He needs to help Hermann confirm his crush or whatever, pronto.

--

It’s a few days before Newt and Hermann finally drag themselves out of bed and to the lab to tackle what little work remains for them to do—cataloguing what are apparently the last kaiju samples known to man (Newt), recording and backing up their drift data (Newt’s solo drift, and then their joint data), drawing some random scribbles on the board and pretending they’re important calculations about the possibility of the Breach reopening (Hermann. Okay, whatever, maybe they are important). Unfortunately, the delay isn’t for any sexy reasons, as much as Newt would’ve liked it to have been. The events of the last day of the war caught up with them pretty quickly after that morning in Newt’s bed, and they mostly just slept, ordered out dinner, popped ibuprofen for their various aches, and avoided medical at all costs. (Rumor had it the medical staff on base were looking for him and Hermann so they could do some brain scans. Apparently drifting with a kaiju brain is potentially dangerous, who knew.)

A rancid smell washes over them the second they push the heavy lab doors open, and Newt spots several hunks of kaiju organs rotting away on his workbench. Hermann clamps a hand to his mouth. “Oops,” Newt says, turning to Hermann sheepishly. He can’t help but cower as he does. He and Hermann got along swimmingly the past couple days—it’ll be sad to see all that hard work go down the drain over this. “Guess I forgot to clean up the other day. In my defense—we were kind of busy.”

But Hermann doesn’t snap at Newt, or thump his cane on the ground, or call Newt an idiot, or even look annoyed; he lowers his hand from his mouth and laughs. Albeit a terse laugh, but still. Newt gapes at him. “We were rather busy,” Hermann concedes. “So long as you clean it up in the next ten minutes, I—what, Newton?”

“Nothing,” Newt says, quickly. “I’m gonna—um—deal with it now.”

Hermann disappears from the lab while Newt is digging around in the storage closet for extra heavy-duty trash bags. When he comes back an hour later, he’s holding a cardboard tray of small plastic cups, and Newt has just hefted his last spoiled sample into the lab’s airtight biohazard bin (a bit mournfully, if he’s being honest, since he’s sure there’s still more to learn about the kaiju from them). Newt squints at the cups in the tray while he rips his messy disposable work gloves off. “What’s that?” he says.

“Iced coffee,” Hermann declares.

The gloves slap, wetly, into the biohazard bin, and Newt lets out a low whistle. “Dude. No way. From where?” He’s not sure when he gave off the impression that the way to his heart was good coffee, but maybe it’s true. Then again, Hermann could probably win him over with a cup of lukewarm tap water. Not because Newt is desperate or anything. He just really likes Hermann.

“A little shop a bit away from the base,” Hermann says. “I took the bus.” He draws back his chair and sits down with a soft sigh, setting his cane against his desk. Then he draws out a small brown paper bag from his parka pocket. He tosses it to Newt; Newt catches it with one hand. “They had these funny little cakes on sticks. I thought you might like one.”

“Cake pops?” Newt says.

“I presume,” Hermann says. While Newt inhales the little chocolate-dipped cake pop (which is so good, oh my God, Newt hasn’t had dessert that didn’t come from a vending machine in plastic shrink wrap in years), Hermann adds, “I wasn’t sure what sort of iced coffee you liked, so I made sure to get a variety.”

“Sick,” Newt says, spewing crumbs on his shirt. “Um. But, like, why though?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Hermann says. “I suppose I wanted to do something kind for you.” He carefully slides a straw out of its paper wrappings and pokes it into the lid of one of the coffees. Once he crumples up the wrapper and tosses It into his train bin, he grips his cane, and uses the handle to nudge Newt’s desk chair towards him. “You worked awfully hard cleaning the laboratory.”

Newt preens a little, even as he privately wonders why Hermann’s acting so weird. Well, nice. But nice is weird for Hermann, so they’re basically the same thing. Is this part of his whole deciding whether or not he digs Newt thing? Newt just assumed the awesome morning they spent together would be proof enough of that. Then again, Hermann’s pretty thorough. “I guess,” Newt says. “It was kind of my mess, though.”

Hermann pats at the empty chair with a smile. Hermann’s smiles are so rare—crooked, and stupid cute—that Newt’s heart gives a painful little twist at the sight of it, and he realizes he doesn’t actually give a shit about why Hermann’s being all weird, actually. “You’ve earned a break,” Hermann says. “Besides, I’d like to spend time with you.”

Newt’s too stunned to argue with that one. When he sits down, Hermann inches their chairs together until their knees are touching.

--

They don’t necessarily fall back into their usual habits by the next week, but the better ones they’ve picked up (being a little kinder to each other, a little more patient, a little more respectful, and also the fact that Hermann can’t seem to stop touching Newt) all but fall into the background as Newt throws himself into his work with renewed determination. Unfortunately, his desire to get it all done as soon as fucking possible speaks less to his awesome work ethic, and more to the fact that he’s just not sure what else to do with himself now, and he likes that work gives him the excuse to not think about it. Hermann said they have all the time to do whatever they like now. Well, Newt likes working. He knows working. Relaxation is a foreign concept to him, and it was a foreign concept to Hermann up until recently. While Newt is toiling away over his decaying kaiju samples in the lab, Hermann is out—

“Where?” Newt says.

Hermann gives Newt the most serene smile Newt’s ever seen cross his face. “I took a bath,” he says. “It was very nice. I bought some nice soaps, and lit some candles, and looked online to see how to do one of those mud masks. It was very relaxing. You ought to try it.”

“Try bathing?” Newt says.

“Yes. Well, no. I mean taking a bath. Is there something you’re not understanding?”

Newt tries to imagine Hermann with a mud mask on his face and cucumbers over his eyes and fails miserably. Hermann hates messes. He would never stand for mud, let alone on his skin. Where’d he even find a bathtub? Did he break into the rangers’ locker room again? Aren't candles banned on base for being a fire hazard, anyway? “Yeah,” Newt says. “Pretty much all of it.”

Hermann shakes his head with a snort, and Newt catches a whiff of something floral and fragrant—his fancy new soap or oil, he guesses. “I’m not surprised. You know, Newton, you are awfully tense.”

Hearing that from Hermann of all people, the king of having-a-massive-stick-up-your-ass, is probably the funniest thing that’s ever happened to Newt. He laughs out loud and plunges a bare hand into his kaiju sample with a gross squelching noise. “Sure, dude.”

He’s almost too engrossed in his sample to feel Hermann sidling up behind him and setting a hand at his waist. He definitely feels Hermann nose a kiss behind his ear, though, and the hot flush that spreads down across his neck from it. Newt’s hand goes sweaty around his scalpel. One thing he definitely wasn’t expecting from a post-no-apocalypse Hermann is how free he is with affection in any and all forms. “Give it a rest, love,” Hermann murmurs. He nudges at the heel of Newt’s boot with the end of his cane. Love? “Why don’t we head back to my quarters and watch a film? You can pick.”

“But.” Newt fidgets. “I have—my sample—”

Another little kiss. The soapy-oil smell is stronger now. Newt thinks it might be lavender. He wonders if the mud mask left Hermann’s skin all soft. “It won’t be going anywhere, Newton.”

Newt sets down his scalpel.

When they they pass by a group of LOCCENT staff in the hallway, Newt makes to drop Hermann’s hand (which Hermann had laced together with his own before they left the lab), but Hermann holds fast, maybe even faster than before, and looks at him with his stupidly sweet set of big eyes. Newt waits until they round the corner to say anything. “Sorry,” he says, lamely. “Um. I thought—you wouldn’t want—” Hermann continues to stare at him. His iris is still ringed red like Newt’s. “I just mean I know you’re weird about stuff like that. Public stuff.” Hermann has been a closed and tightly-bound book for as long as Newt’s known him; he can’t imagine that would suddenly change and he would start broadcasting his emotions far and wide in the course of a week just because he’s a little less stressed.

Or, you know. Maybe Newt’s totally wrong on this. “Ah,” Hermann says. He nods, very seriously. “Yes. I have been considering that as well. I see no reason to hide recent developments in our relationship.” He squeezes Newt’s hand. "In fact, I see no reason to not be quite, er, proud of them. You’re quite the catch.”

Newt remembers the stolen sweatshirt. Maybe Hermann wearing it out to get them breakfast was more calculated than he realized. “So if I made out with you against the wall right now you wouldn’t be mad?” Newt says.

“Well,” Hermann says, inclining his head to his door, "seeing as my quarters are right there, it seems a rather unnecessary inconvenience.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Newt smiles as Hermann leads him in. “Can I really pick the movie?”

“Within reason.”

[blank-space-daisy13]

Why I won’t invite my biological father to my wedding.

I wanted to post this on Instagram or Facebook but I don’t want to deal with people saying I’m “drama.” But I wanted to write this out just in case someone is ballsy enough to ask me.

Let’s start off with the fact that after he got with my step mom, he wasn’t really around. He also never really cared or tried to take care of us (my brother and me) unless he absolutely had to.

Before my step mom and when we still lived in the apartment, On nights he had us my mom would drop us off already fed, he’d turn the tv on and go play on his computer until we had to go to bed. If he had us on a weekend, same thing. We’d wake up and he’d feed us breakfast, then tv with him in his room on the computer, lunch, tv, dinner, tv, and bed. When we moved from the apartment we stayed at his buddy’s house where he rented a room but guess what? He’d send us down to the basement all day to watch tv, and let us up for meals.

When my stepmom came into the picture, we started going to Canada. On every single one of his weekends. She was nice, at first. Sooner or later everyone shows their true colors. But she started slowly to get a hold of my dad. (My dad had no boundaries with us and she wanted to “help” my dad learn to discipline, but she’s a little extreme.) I once got punished for saying the word “butt” because we only say, “bum” and he yelled at me. Yelled. I was about 7 or 8. Then I heard my future step mother telling him how good he did. Also while we were there, I remember very few times we actually hung out with my dad. It was always being shoved into the playroom with my brother, future stepsister, and sometimes future stepbrother. (Step mom never had full custody of stepbrother.) We’d never leave the playroom other than for meals like the TV. But at least we weren’t rotting our brains, I guess.

After awhile he decided he wanted 50/50 custody. My stepmom at this point could be brutal emotionally. I remember getting yelled at for not knowing any of my immediate family member’s birthdays. I was about 8 or 9. Kind of shitty don’t you think? Going back to the wanting 50/50 custody, he didn’t actually want us. Looking back I understand this now. He just didn’t want to pay as much child support, and that’s probably the only reason my step mom agreed to this. They treated us (my brother and i) horribly. He moved close to my mom’s to prove he’d be willing to do the 50/50 custody, and at that point it was hell. If we did something wrong, immediately we’d get soap in the mouth. My brother later on was getting hot sauce. It would be for things such as, “not sharing with your step sister,” (which she would’ve lied about) or “talking back,” when as a kid I was asking a simple question about their rules. They had so many rules to the point you didn’t realize you were breaking a rule until they told you it was one. My *fondest* memory was when they’d send us kids to the basement for a few hours during the weekend and then got mad when we went through boxes and such to find toys to play with. Because when they first sent us down there, they sent us down there with nothing at all. Sure we probably shouldn’t have gone through boxes, where my brother and I found our toys that they never put with our step sister’s toys, but they sent us down there with nothing at all. They expected us to “imagine” things with no toys. I also got yelled at one weekend because they asked us to clean our bathrooms. (Step sister and I shared a Jack and Jill bathroom and my brother had his own bathroom as well.) We went and picked things up and went back to play. They both yelled at us and said, “If I had meant pick up I would’ve said pick up. I said CLEAN.” At this point I had never cleaned a bathroom in my life. They gave us the cleaning supplies and we went to work. I did what I thought was the best I could do and then my stepmom yells at me, “That wasn’t nearly long enough!!!! Haven’t you ever cleaned a bathroom before?!” Uh no ma’am, I was literally 10. But that was her favorite way to make us feel like shit. To yell, “Haven’t you done XY&Z before?” Or “You don’t know (blank)?! So disrespectful! You should know these things!” (That was said about the birthdays. Again I was a decently young kid.) But going forward, towards the end of them living there, they had a baby together, my other brother J.

Luckily for my brother and I, he eventually gave up going for the 50/50 custody. But with doing this, he left and we didn’t see him for a long time. 5-6 years approximately. I was 15 when he decided he wanted to see us again, and because of everything we had gone through before, we didn’t want to. I had a choice but my brother didn’t, and I was forced to go.

At this point he had married my stepmother, and was living in the same subdivision, and one road away, where had had a house with my mom when they were married. Kind of awkward but ok.

And I have to say, they were better. To a point. They wanted us to feel bad that we didn’t want to be there. At the time I had a really old phone, not a smart phone, that didn’t lock, but they expected my phone to be on the counter at 9pm every night. They read my texts and held them against me, but when I called them out on reading my texts, they told me I was crazy. I would text my friends that I didn’t want to be there, and that I was uncomfortable. They asked me, “Why don’t you want to be here? Why are you uncomfortable? We understand what we did in the past was wrong, but the past is the past and you have to forgive us!” (One wrong thing I was always taught was you always have to forgive. You don’t always have to forgive for things that hurt you.) Finally at the end of this period, they sat us down and tried to make us feel bad by saying, “If you don’t want to be here, we don’t want you here. We want you to want to be here.” At 15 I tried to explain why this was hard, but they didn’t care. It wasn’t their way so they weren’t ok with it.

Fast forward to my Senior Year of high school, I don’t remember how, but my father and I got in touch. My step mom wanted nothing to do with me because of a dumb YouTube video I made at 14 where I “talked shit” about her daughter and herself. Yes, I did, but who didn’t do something dumb at 14? I wasn’t allowed around their house because HER son had a “drug problem.” (Marijuana) Whatever, I didn’t care. Slowly we lost touch because I was the only one calling, and I got sick of it. I was done. But I was still young.

Fast forward to me being a sophomore in college. I was 20 or 21. My brother had an issue that got the police and CPS involved. My father decided to text me and ask me what was going on. I called him and told him that he had “no fucking reason to know what was going on” because he was never around. He gaslighted me into feeling bad because I cussed him out for 10 minutes. But we kept contact after that because I had thought about it and I wanted to get to know my little brother J more. We did lose contact again but then we gain it back later on.

Skip forward a couple years and I’m talking to my cousin, (another thing was he kept us from his side of the family and I had lost contact with most of them until I was an adult.) my cousin told me he was going to MY little BABY sister’s 1st birthday. My father had been talking to me for a few months at this point and NEVER mentioned I had a baby sister. He told me, “I thought your aunt posted about it. I saw it on Facebook and assumed you knew!” It doesn’t matter whether I saw it on Facebook or not. He should’ve told me. But whatever, I let that go too.

Here is where I get frustrated. I wouldn’t call for a couple weeks because I didn’t think about it. I’ve only seen him twice in the past 9 years. But he would blame me for us not talking, when he’d never call or try to talk to me. It drives me crazy when people think like that. It’s not just my responsibility and mine alone.

Skip forward to a few months ago when he brought up politics. I hated this because I’m mostly liberal/democrat and he’s 100% republican. He called liberals “libtards” and goes, “you’re not a libtard are you?” And when I tell him it’s offensive he says, “It’s just a joke!” But now we’re here and yet again it’s been 2 or 3 months since we’ve spoken because he’s blocked my number. It goes straight to voicemail and my texts aren’t going through as iMessages. I’ve decided after trying for over two months, he’s uninvited to the wedding. He’s never met my fiancé, ever. We were only inviting him to be civil. But if he can’t even speak to me, I feel it’s not my problem, and it’s one less drama issue to worry about at the wedding.

My family can believe what they want. There are so many things left out of this 15 year drama circle of my father just disappearing. And I don’t care anymore. I hope someone asks why he wasn’t invited because I know for a fact he’ll be at least telling the whole family that he wasn’t invited. And I don’t mind sending them this so they can know why.

[anika-ann]

The Winter Tale (S.R.)

(Of Snowflakes, Hard Fallings and Soft Landings)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader    Word Count: 3900

Summary:

Scoring a date with Steve Rogers is not easy. One’s gotta be patient.

Fall might blend into winter before you get to go out with him, but know one thing; Steve Rogers makes things worth your while.

Warnings: swearing and tooth-rotting fluff (no really, it’s strong with this one, and it’s me saying that, so...)

A/N: Sequel to The Fall Tale, works as a standalone too I guess

The Fall Tale (previous one-shot)

💙❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️🤍❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️💙

Fall was reluctantly letting winter take over, as it usually happened towards the end of November, and you were still painfully single. Technically at least, because you yet had Steve Rogers to take you out on your first date.

How was that possible? Glad you asked. It was because fate was a bitch, to put it eloquently. Steve had got your number with almost a scout’s-honour promise to call you soon, and then he didn’t. He lied. Like a liar.

To be fair, after three days of you being mad at the embodiment of truth and justice for all, Steve Rogers did call you, awfully apologetic and sounding truly regretful and either he was that good of a liar who even hired foreigners to be his alibi, or he really was on a market somewhere in Eastern Europe, catching his breath in a middle of a mission.

Being angry with him got considerably harder after that, especially since two days later, you read about a major showdown in his supposed current location and saw a brief footage of him protecting innocent civilians.

Because Steve damn Rogers just had to get more perfect.

The thing was, right after that mission, there was another one, this time lasting twelve full days. You were incredibly pissed at the circumstances – and maybe a little bit angry with Steve too – but mostly mad at the circumstances that didn’t want you to get romantically involved any time soon.

Sure, you could have just told Steve off, bid him goodbye and find someone else, but you couldn’t.

Because Steve tried his best to stay in contact whenever time and safety measures allowed it, texting, calling and on one precious occasion, even facetiming. And once he relaxed a bit – which seemed to be always happening rather soon into the communication, allegedly because you made him feel like a normal guy – Steve could be an entirely nice guy and you couldn’t make yourself let go.

Steve Rogers was kind, charming, witty, which was a cocktail you would never say no to, but on top of that, he was panties-dropping gorgeous. So even if the chances were that eventually, after the date actually happened, you might only end up like friends due to the immense distance between your league and his, you would feel like an idiot if you didn’t try to make it work, hence waiting for him to have a damn day off.

And you didn’t regret it; the date was totally worth the wait.

Yes, the weather sucked, so your clothes was perfectly damp just like your hair just from walking from your door to the cab due to the wildly swirling snowflakes, but Steve held the car door open for you, standing right there in the cold just to be a gentleman for you. He also reluctantly took your hand once inside the cab and even dropped a shy kiss on its back, his demeanour and bright blues reminding you exactly why you had been patient.

The restaurant was nice but not too fancy, which didn’t prevent Steve from opening doors for you, pulling out your chair, letting you order first and generally doing swoon-worthy things that made you feel both touched and aroused. The less posh environment didn’t make either of you feel bad for laughing and being entirely unsubtle, as the conversation varied from light to serious, laughter blending into chuckles and need to touch each other’s warmth for comfort. There was teasing, there was touching, there were unexpectedly dropped lines that made your heart flutter and there was inevitable falling deeper into the pit labelled ‘adoring Steve Rogers.’

“You really are going for the whole shebang tonight, aren’t you?” you teased him lightly when he helped you put on your coat and informed you that he made a reservation to a cinema.

The blush that crept up his neck caused you to feel even giddier than before. The wine you had both ordered might have not affected his brain as he had told you, but it had definitely coloured his cheeks rosy – and yet, now they grew even hotter.

“I mean, we don’t have to-- I don’t-“

You took his hand and squeezed, which shut him up effectively, his expression puzzled and hesitant.

“I would love to spent more time with you, Steve,” you assured him and he smiled sweetly as the cold air from outside caressed your face.

Your breath caught in your chest at the sight you were offered. Yes, New York never lasted long as a winter wonderland, but right now? Now it seemed almost magical as the freshly fallen snow proudly displayed its silvery white.

“Is the reservation paid?” you blurted out, your head snapping to Steve’s only to see disapproval on his face.

“I don’t want you to worry about that-“

“Not an answer.”

“… it’s not,” Steve replied, frowning a bit. “I wasn’t sure how long we would need for the dinner or if you’d even like to go. So… you don’t? Want to go?”

You wondered how Steve did not see the child-lie enthusiasm radiating off you with how perceptive he appeared to be so far. He missed it altogether, apparently, because he sounded disappointed.

It dawned to you that he didn’t get many chances to just go and see a movie and you instantly felt bad for rejecting something he kept his hoped up for.

You couldn’t have Steve sad, even if he was barely showing it. Not to mention that he had been treating you almost like a princess, you sure as hell wouldn’t treat him like you were the evil queen.

“Well, if you really do want to go, we can…”

He only shrugged his broad shoulders, charming a small smile for you.

“It’s up to you. I can cancel the reservation if you have something else in mind. Whatever to keep that beautiful smile on your face,” he offered and your stomach actually flipped as butterflies filled it for the hundredth time that day.

That was your thought exactly about him, but nope, of course he beat you to it and on top dropping a line like that, he was the embodiment of perfection when delivering it.

Steve looked so hot and adorable at the same time that you had to fight yourself not to jump to his arms and kiss him senseless. Pink plush lips, slightly red cheeks, gorgeous blue with a drop of green of his eyes twinkling and he wore such a kind expression that it made your heart simultaneously weep and race.

He kept complimenting you so effortlessly and was so considerate the whole evening too and you weren’t sure how much more you could take before you forgone all self-control and pinned him to the nearest wall; or casually confessed your undying love for him.

“Steven, you are a dangerous man. You should wear a damn warning,” you grumbled insetad, smiling so widely your mouth might actually tear.

He pursed his lips a bit, head tilted to side a fraction, looking like a confused kicked puppy.

Jesus, Steve, stop it or I’ll have to kiss you and I want you to kiss me, so please, be considerate of my lack of self-restraint.

“What did I do?”

“You’re being annoyingly perfect-“ oh now he was frowning hard, “-not like annoying annoying, but—you know. Just… I have a hard time believing this is actually happening. I really like you, Steve Rogers.”

The lines of his forehead smoothened out at your admission, his expression softening as did his gaze.

He helped you put on your gloves, fingers skimming over the first bare and then clothed skin tenderly, small sad smile playing in the corner of his lips.

His eyes met yours, the twinkle in his eyes you which already learned to love dimming. “Well, I did sort of make you wait for almost a month. Not so perfect. No warning needed.”

You had to physically fight yourself so you wouldn’t snort unattractively at the remark; yeah, the said waiting did nothing to protect your heart now. Sadly, your brain-to-mouth wasn’t fully functioning, still letting out more than it was appropriate for a first date.

“Steve, even with that, you’re making it very hard not to fall for you.”

Well, shit. The first admission had been playful. This one sounded pretty clingy. Now he was about to run off and think you a crazy girl-

But Steve didn’t. His face lit up with gratitude and affection and then a smirk found its way to his lips.

“That’s good to know. But I happen to recall a particular moment when you have already fallen-“

A surprised exasperated laughter erupted from your throat, and you actually had to gasp to gather both air and your wits. That little sh-

You yanked your hands free from his, raising your index finger towards his face.

“You know what, forget it, I’m taking it back!” you exclaimed, taking a pointed step back as Steve chuckled. “You are not perfect, you are a jerk and I think I should go home-“

“No, no wait-“ He reached out for you, but you took another step away, squinting at him playfully.

“I wanted to walk with you in the park, taking in the romantic sight of clean New York snow, but you know what? I don’t think I wanna anymore-“

Steve made a lunge for you and grabbed your hands, raising it to his face to drop kisses on your gloves- well, damn, now you regretted that he had so kindly put them on you.

“No, wait, doll, let’s walk. Unless you’re going to be cold-“

“There are some thermal microfibres in those tights or whatever, I won’t be,” you grumbled and he beamed as you unwittingly showed him that you weren’t really mad even despite his little-shit display earlier.

You said won’t be not wouldn’t have been and Steve appeared to be entirely content with you yielding so easily.

Well, damn it, it was really hard to keep up with Steve’s wits and humour; you loved it.

“Very well then. May I offer you a walk in the park, ma’am?” he said, holding out his elbow in invitation – the one farther from the road, of course, gentleman – and you chuckled, unable to help yourself.

“It was my idea, you know. Also, depends – are you going to be a jerk?”

“You wound me, miss,” he clutched at his chest theatrically, but definitely tugged you a bit closer when you slipped your arm through the loop of his own just in case you were about to change your mind when another of his jokes inevitably arrived.

“Sure I am.”

You barely made few steps without a word, when his gaze fixed on your face for long enough for you to get nervous.

“…what is it?”

He smiled, gently tugging at your joined arms, and looked you dead in the eye. “I really like you too.”

Oh. Oh. Okay. Where did all the oxygen go? And when did your heart started pounding so loudly in your chest?

“And for the record, I find it impossible not to fall for you.”

You lowered your gaze under the intensity of his, watching your feet walking in tandem as your cheeks burned and your head spun.

“A friggin’ warning,” you muttered under your breath darkly, drawing a breathy chuckle from Steve, followed by his ‘I mean it.’

Truth was, a warning wouldn’t have helped, probably. Because Steve Rogers was impossible not to fall for; but he was definitely worth it.

💙❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️🤍❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️💙

You weren’t sure what possessed you; must have been the wine, lowering your inhibitions.

Once again, you couldn’t contain your child-like behaviour.

One moment, you were walking in the park, dim street lights causing the snow glow brighter, fluffy and pure, as not many people were here to disturb the peace. Even the city fell almost silent in the first snow’s honour, as if grateful for the good two inches it was given.

The next moment, you freed yourself of Steve’s warm hold and hurried from the path to gather enough of the wet delight to make a snowball – and hit the pole nearby streetlamp with a surprising precision.

You turned to Steve with a grin, finding him mirroring your expression and clapping, a sound muffle by his own thin gloves.

“Very good aim. I’m impressed,” he assured you and you curtsey for him like the child you were and went to try again.

Before you could finish making a perfect ammunition, three balls hit the very same pole in quick succession, causing you to gasp and swiftly turn to Steve – who winked at you with a shit-eating grin on his face.

It was a justified display of smugness, because he stood almost ten feet behind you, the distance from which he hit the pole actually impressive.

Wow.

“Show-off,” you called out silently, drawing a shrug from him. You went to try your aim again to settle the unofficial score and whined when you missed. “Okay, you win, Rogers.”

Steve, on the other hand, continued his strike and hit three more; you noticed him bending for more snow, making a quick and very dumb decision as an idea popped up in your mind.

As he was busy showing off his skills, you got your own two bullets ready and shot-- one of them did hit your target, which just happened to be Steve’s chest.

His mouth formed a theatrical ‘o’ and you couldn’t but double over in laughter despite missing with your next attempt.

“You didn’t!” he gasped, clearly genuinely shocked that you in fact had hit him with a snowball. “Now you’ll get it!”

In hindsight, you should have known that it was like waving a red cloth in front of a bull; you should have realized that Steve would take it as a challenge to a snowball fight.

And it was very obvious from the start that you stood no chance, even if he was blatantly holding back as you tried and failed to hide behind a bench, behind a tree and anything in your reach, your and his laughter carrying through the park as if you were damn children, both of you. You hadn’t felt so alive in years.

Steve however stepped up his game upon you hitting a point of him so high that some of the snow clearly got behind the collar of his coat. The hiss he let out and the flames in his eyes when they met yours after your perfect hit made you run away with all you got, your heart thumping in your ribcage frantically as you knew all too well that there was no escaping a supersoldier.

You tried and failed to speed up as you heard him closing in; perhaps it would be much easier to catch your breath to run faster if you weren’t laughing at the expression of pure shock that had been on Steve’s face when the snow tickled the sensitive skin of his neck.

A yelp escaped you as he grabbed you a tackled you to the ground, spinning you to he would take the brunt of the impact and only then he rolled you over – trapping you against the cold wet ground, making you squirm at the biting sensation on your own neck.

“No! No, Steeeeve,” you whined miserably, but your cheeks were hurting from the laughter and he was a solid mass on top of you to keep you warm, so you didn’t have any reason to complain. You in fact enjoyed the feeling and the intimacy of it a little too much, considering that this was still only your first date.

How? You felt like you knew him for months now; it was like having an unfairly handsome best friend you not-so-secretly had a crush on.

“You brought this upon yourself,” Steve exclaimed, grinning down at you and for the first time, it dawned to you that not only his torso way lying on you and that his hands were caging your head as he tried not to crush you with his weight, but also his gorgeous face with his tempting lips were in dangerous proximity to yours.

Dangerous to him – if he wasn’t careful, he might get kissed very soon.

You stared up at him, lost in the beautiful colour of his eyes and you were only mildly ashamed to find your gaze wandering down to his red lips.

“I—I suppose,” you whispered as your laughter died down, your breathing still heavy and only growing heavier with each second spent mesmerized by Steve’s face so close to yours.

“You suppose right,” he whispered back, voice slightly hoarser than a moment ago, his gaze roaming your face with intensity that had your heart stumbling in your chest. “This is a nice trip down the memory lane.”

“I-uhm… I remember it being the other way around.”

A smile grazed his mouth, still so damn tempting and you really found yourself barely noticing the snow melting into your clothes when—him.

“You complaining?”

You smiled right back when he lowered his head a fraction, so so painfully close you would barely have to move to finally taste his lips.

“Well, the snow is cold, but-- you know how it is… I had worse things happen to me than having a handsome fella land on me.”

Steve chuckled, the vibrations of his chest sending liquid fire through your veins, especially when his eyes seemed to brighten despite the dilatation of his pupils.

“You remember that, huh?”

“You kidding?” you mused quietly, wondering if Steve decided to torture you; if he wasn’t about to kiss you in the next thirty seconds, you might actually combust. His gaze was now more on your mouth than anywhere else and if you were honest, you might have been trembling with anticipation a bit. “That was the line, Steve. I thought you were so smooth.”

An inch. One damn inch, if not less of a distance remained between his lips and yours, practically touching, his radiating warmth and begging for yours to lick at their sweetness.  

And yet, Steve still spoke, words you could almost taste: “What do you think now?”

“I think that I’d really like you to kiss me.”

This time, his lips brushed yours, a soundless ‘kay’ tickling deliciously, your eyelids fluttering shut.

Your hands automatically gripped the lapels of his coat, using them as leverage when he withdrew, giving you space to breathe and process what happened. Too bad you didn’t want to, you needed more right in that moment; you tugged at the fabric, chasing after his lips and lifting your head without even opening your eyes.

You could feel his smile as he kissed you again, lingering this time, a tender dance of lips, parted a fraction to breathe in each other’s air. Your head was spinning, your tummy tingly and you truly felt like you could fly, not even ashamed if Steve was grinning at your eagerness – he seemed pretty board on with continuing to kiss you too.

So you smiled back, happy to let him take the lead as long as he stayed-

A discontent hum rambled in your throat when Steve retreated again, even if he caressed your icy-cold nose with his, dropping a kiss there too to warm it up.

You met his eyes, heavy lidded, misted with emotion and you found yourself smiling wider.

“Can’t have you catch a cold, doll,” he rasped and before you realized what was happening, before you could as much as frown in confusion, a silent yelp left your throat as Steve rolled you over again, one arm secured around your waist, keeping you on top of him.

You might not be lying on the snow anymore, but your wet back was exposed to the cold night air now, which wasn’t much any better.

But you were too busy to care, because Steve lost one glove, cupping your cheek for a better angle and he sank his lips into yours again, causing you to see and feel the stars.

💙❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️🤍❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️💙

If Steve walked you all the back to your apartment and you invited him in to dry off, only for him to end up spending the night, well, no one needed to know – even if you kept each other warm with nothing but tea and cuddling under the covers.

Whether things got a little more spicy than sweet in the morning… that was only for the two of you to know.

Either way, you decided that while the fall, early or late, had its serious downsides… you were willing to put up with it, because it had brought someone as amazing as Steve into your life.

Which got even more handy when you ended up catching cold from your snowy adventures.

💙❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️BONUS❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️💙

Blissfully wrapped in each other, not you nor Steve (which was more of a wonder) noticed two pairs of eyes focused on you and your shenanigans in the snow. Neither of you heard Bucky sigh under his breath either as he lowered the night-vision binoculars.

“Thank God, I thought for a minute that the punk wasn’t going to go for it,” he muttered under his breath, handing the device to his field partner.

Sam took one glance through the binoculars before rising his hand for a high five, which Bucky instantly complied with.

“With the way they eye-fucked in the restaurant, I would have to rip him a new one if he didn’t,” Sam stated.

“You’d have to get in the line behind me,” Bucky retorted, but grinned, truly happy for his friend.

“More like get ready for being ripped a new one,” a voice behind them opposed, causing both soldiers to nearly jump out their skin in surprise – and literally jump to their feet in fright, ready to face their enemy.

Their enemy seemed harmless to an untrained eye: the one and only Black Widow, watching them with her arms crossed on her chest and a raised eyebrow.

“We knew you were there,” Sam blurted out instinctively, earning an eyeroll from the redhead.

“Sure you did,” she scoffed and nodded in the direction of the pair still rolling over in snow in the distance. “Now that you know that Rogers still got some game, you going to stop stalking him or do I have to keep an eye on you?”

“Please. You were just curious as we were, otherwise you wouldn’t be here,” Bucky smirked and Natasha shrugged with one shoulder dismissively.

“Maybe. Maybe I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t crash their date to ‘help’,” she said, taking care to make air quotes with the last word. “Now let’s get out of here. If you really want to help, you can start looking up some chicken soup recipes to cure her inevitable sniffles.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky replied dutifully with only an edge of irony, while trying hard to remember the recipe for the soup Mrs. Rogers or his ma used to cook back in the day when the always sickly Steve Rogers refused to take normal (disgusting) medicine.

The thought of Steve not being on the receiving end of that treatment and instead being the caretaker had his lips curl up in a smile.

💙❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️🤍❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️💙

S.R. masterlist

💙❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️🤍❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️💙

Thank you for reading!

I don’t often write sequels to one-shots when asked, but inspiration struck this time (I went to a wedding and caught very mushy feelings). I hope you enjoyed. Don’t sent me your dentist bills, you’ve been warned.

[towerfandoms]

3AM Encounters

A/n: I feel like everyone uses that title but oh well I’m uncreative when it comes to titles. I’ve been simping a LOT for Shinsou recently so here enjoy this <33 and ik requests are off but for Shinsou I make exceptions ✨✨✨

Summary: Shinsou had trouble falling asleep and was laying in bed, counting as the hours passed by. That is, until he heard footsteps outside

Pairings: Shinsou Hitoshi x reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none just fluff

Despite the many times Shinsou had laid awake at 3am, he still could never quite get used to the eerie silence. It was times like this when he truly understood the phrase “deafening silence”. The quietness felt too loud. The nothingness made him feel uneasy. During the day, he despised hearing the loud screeches of jumpy teenagers but now, he almost misses it. He could hear just about every little thing, the slight gust of wind from outside his open window, the creaking of his bed every time he shifted to get comfier and the footsteps outside.

Wait,,, outside?

Shinsou grabbed his phone from his bedside table and squinted at the screen, the harsh light illuminating his room. It was 3:15AM. Trying to make as little noise as possible as to not draw attention to himself, he heaved out of bed and looked out the window that was overlooking the gardens. He was surprised to be met with the sight of a black silhouette scurrying across the gardens, making their way towards the equipment shed. They were dressed in what seemed to be a black hoodie and pyjama bottoms. He couldn’t make out their face, their hood masking all their features. Leaning out a bit to get a better view, he noticed they were holding something close to their chest. He wasn‘t sure but to him it seemed like a box.

Now this peeked the teenage boy's interest. He wondered what was inside the box to make them run so early in the morning. They were most likely a student in his year as these gardens were predominantly used by second years, since they were right by their dormitories. Should he go after them and make sure they weren’t getting into trouble? Thinking, he had nothing better to do and the chances of actually being able to fall asleep were slim so he decided to investigate. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say or do when he met the person but he just hoped they weren’t up to no good.

He pulled on the first sweatshirt he found and carefully made his way down to the backyard. He stopped when he thought he heard footsteps and thought of just going back to his dorm and letting the person do whatever they wanted. He wasn’t the class president or anything so he wasn’t obligated to check on every little out of the norm. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep influencing his decisions but for some odd reason he desperately wanted to know what the person was up to. When he first joined the Hero Course in second year he announced to everyone that he wasn’t looking to make friends. However that soon changed as he got to know everyone. He still wasn’t the most sociable person but hey who knows, maybe he’ll find a kindred spirit when it comes to the inability to sleep. So he let curiosity get the better of him and pursued onwards towards the equipment shed.

Once he was outside the shed, Shinsou leaned his head against the rotting wood trying to listen in. He was surprised to hear low whisperings but he couldn’t make out anything bar a few hushed be quiet’s. He stiffly stood outside for some time, unsure whether to knock or barge in. He decided knocking would probably be silly so he opted with the latter. In one swift motion, he swung the handle and stepped inside.

The scene before him was baffling, to say the least. Whatever Shinsou was expecting, it definitely wasn’t this. The black figure from before was kneeling down,  their back to him, petting a large grey cat while a kitten was on their lap. There were three more kittens around them, all purring and rubbing their heads against them, whining for their attention. When they heard the door creak open, they rapidly swung their head around, eyes wide at the thought of being discovered. So they were quite surprised when their deep e/c eyes met with Shinsous' own lilac hues.

They both stayed staring like that, neither pulling away and refusing to break eye contact. After what seemed like hours but couldn’t possibly be more than a few seconds, Shinsou finally pulled away, looking to the side while sheepishly bringing a hand to rub the back of his neck.

“Sh-Shinsou!” was the only thing you managed to say, confusion clouding your brain. Just what was he doing here this early in the morning? Then an even more alarming thought popped into your head. Was he going to report you???

Sensing your disarray, Shinsou quickly tried to explain himself, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Oh, um, you don’t have to worry about me snitching or anything haha,” he nervously fumbled out, “I-I just saw you running and was wondering what you were doing is all…” he trailed off, unable to look at you in the eyes.

Of all people he had to meet in the middle of the night, why did it have to be you. You were also in 2-A, in fact you sat behind him in most of his classes. You two had a few brief encounters but it was enough for Shinsou to feel butterflies whenever he crossed paths with you. You were really sweet to everyone, always smiling and happy to lend a hand to anyone in need. Well you were the class president, he supposed, it was your job after all. Still though, the level of kindness you showed them all was something that not even Bakugou wanted to push away. As if your looks and kindness weren’t enough, you also had a killer sense of humour. You were always sending the funniest memes, tweets and tik toks to their class gc and responded to his sarcastic comments with ones of your own. You were without a single doubt one of the most perfect people Shinsou had ever laid his eyes upon. And now here he was seeing you surrounded by cats??? Hell, in his eyes you were quite literally an angel.

“Oh! Whoops, I suppose I should’ve been sneakier,” relief evident in your voice as you chuckled softly. Thank God it was just him and not someone like Iida a stickler for rules.

However, the fact that he was here now meant that...

”Wait a second! Did I wake you up??? Oh my God no, I am so so so sorry. Ugh, I feel so horrible now,” your tone changing abruptly as you ushered out an apology.

“What? No, no, it’s fine. I was always awake,” he quickly replied back looking down to meet your shining eyes again. There was only one window and the moonlight trickled through, enhancing your eyes and accentuating all your lovely features. You really looked as though you were hand-carved by the Greek Gods themselves.

You met his eyes again, sharing a look of sympathy as you understood his pain.

“Oh, you couldn’t sleep either? That’s why I came down here. I found the mama cat and her kittens three weeks ago. No one seemed to be feeding them or even know of their existence so I was kinda like damn, alright I’ll take care of yous,” you rambled on, almost forgetting about the kittens beside you, desperately mewling for attention.

You stopped to take a deep breath and started playing with the kittens next to you, looking up at Shinsou awaiting his reply.

Shinsou on the other hand was so absorbed watching you play that he didn’t even realise you were finished talking until you gave a small laugh.

“Do you wanna come over here and play with them?” you asked a small smile splayed on your lips.

He could not say yes fast enough. He walked over to where you sat and carefully kneeled down so as to not scare away the kittens. He gently started petting mama cat who instantly became smitten with him. Shinsou slowly began to smile, the pure adoration for these kittens displayed on his face.

You allowed yourself to stare at Shinsou while he wasn’t paying attention. Shinsou was a beautiful man, even Kaminari noting his good looks. You two never had much interactions bar a few good mornings and complaining about training. The usual small talk. He was always polite and when in a good mood would throw a few sarcastic comments here and there. Though he was never rude, it always felt like there was a barrier between him and the rest of the class that no one could quite break down. However now, early in the morning you somehow felt closer to him. It was like he was slowly letting his guard down. Even though neither of you were talking, you enjoyed his company, the silence almost comforting.

Despite how much you enjoyed just being next to him and petting cats, you also wanted to talk to him. It was hard talking to him in class, what with the walls he surrounded himself with. You decided now would be the best time to get to know him if you ever wanted to make a lasting friendship with him.

You wracked your brain for a conversation starter, not wanting to be too dry to bore him away nor wanting to be too chaotic to scare him away. God, just why were you so nervous anyways? It's just Shinsou after all. Why did talking to hot boys always have to be so hard ugh?

You looked over at him again, admiring his toned body that could almost be seen through the sweatshirt. You let your eyes trailed down until you noticed his pyjama bottoms. They were baby pink with Hello Kitty printed all over it.

You had to suppress a scream of joy. They were without a single doubt the most beautiful pyjamas you had ever laid your eyes upon.

“I like your pj bottoms,” you said teasingly, though that wasn’t your intention.

“O-oh, thank you,” he muttered, surprising himself by getting out a coherent sentence. Inwardly though, he was cursing himself for not throwing on a pair of sweatpants. You probably genuinely meant it but it was still something Shinsou didn’t want to go around flaunting. Fortunately for him, it was too dark for you to see the tinge of red on the tip of his ears and cheeks.

When he looked back up at you, he was expecting a face of mockery but was pleasantly surprised to see you smiling, your eyes shining brightly under the dim moonlight. The peace he was feeling before returned and he started to feel more confident in your comfortable presence.

“Y’know,” he started, his deep velvety voice becoming more confident. “Aren’t you the class president? What would Iida say if he found out?” he asked, completely breaking the ice between yous.

“You wouldn’t dare,” you said in a low voice, feigning a look of mock fear.

“I don’t know, it just wouldn’t be honest. My guilty conscience would never be able to handle it,” he replied, a teasing smile dancing on his lips.

You couldn’t stop smiling at the thought that he was willing to continue the conversation. You wanted to see how much longer you could make it last.

“Hmmmm, well how about I make it even. If you want, you can join me to feed the cats. They need to be fed in the day too, so it’s not like we’re always breaking the rules.” looking down as soon as you finished, afraid of the answer. You didn’t want to seem like you were being too pushy but at the same time you really enjoyed Shinsous company. The morning was slowly coming to an end and soon you both will have to go back to your dorms. You’ll both have to continue classes the next day and pretend this night never happened. You wanted it to continue. So you waited with baited breath for Shinsous reply.

Coincidentally enough, Shinsou had also been thinking the same thing. He had thoroughly enjoyed his time. Though you both hadn’t spoken much, your presence really put him at ease. He felt so much more relaxed around you. It would be a shame if this was the first and last night of spending time with you and the kittens. So when you asked, he knew his answer straight away. He just had to somehow play it off cool and act unbothered.

“Deal. I guess I have enough time to visit the kittens. And you too, I suppose,” he added with his signature smirk.

You felt your cheeks heat up but managed to return a mischievous grin of your own. You quickly pulled out your phone and sighed with disappointment when you checked the time.

“Unfortunately, I think our time here has ended. It’s nearly 4am, the sun will be coming up soon. And we have annoying classes tomorrow,” you stated a bit sad about the fact that such an enjoyable night has come to an end. However he did say he’d continue joining you so that kept you somewhat excited.

Shinsou looked at you, mouth slightly parted in shock.

“4AM already? Shit, sorry for keeping you up for so long,” with that he tried to remove mama cat from his lap who had fully made herself at home on it. She lazily stretched and got off, a bit annoyed that her nap time was ruined.

You and Shinsou both stood up and brushed yourselves down, dusting off any dirt that may have stuck on to you from the old floors.

“I can walk you back to your dorm,” Shinsou offered, his hand rubbing the back of his next.

“How chivalrous,” you giggled slightly. “Don’t worry about it, besides we wouldn’t want anyone to catch you in those stunning bottoms now would we,”

“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes irritably but there was a pleased smile on his lips, indicating he wasn’t really annoyed.

You both made your way back to the dorms, whispering softly to each other occasionally. You broke apart to go to your separate dorms and try to get at least a couple of hours of sleep.

You lay awake in your bed, replaying the encounter and a bit upset at how quickly it had ended. You remembered his eyes, his smell and his deep velvety voice. You couldn’t stop smiling stupidly when you remembered your conversations. Somehow thinking about his voice managed to help you drift off to sleep, your last clear thought being Shinsou playing with the kittens.

A/n: I tried really hard to keep it gender, race and features in general neutral. If there’s any place where I could improve or switch up my words please let me know and I’ll be happy to oblige :)) constructive criticism/ feedback is always appreciated in fact encouraged so do not hesitate to tell me anything. Anyways thank you so much and have a lovely day yall <33