#saw a reddit thread the other day where a guy was upset bc his male friends told him his new living room was 'too girly'

[beaft]

i also did not realise until i transitioned just how limited men are in their means of self-expression. patriarchal rules dictate that lest ye be read as Womanly (or, god forbid, gay), you must strip back your aesthetic to the absolute bare minimum. in fact, it's probably best if you don't even know what "aesthetic" means, because aesthetics are definitely a little bit gay. there are so many unspoken rules. no fun hair colours or styles. no jewellery. no tight clothes. no bright hues. no hand gesturing while talking. no emotional, expressive manners of speech. no manicures. no dancing or singing. certain kinds of food and drink, certain scents, certain colours, are off limits. for so many people, the definition of masculinity is just... nothing. a blank slate. no wonder straight men are in such a state of fucking crisis