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fullmetalscullyy · 4 years ago

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jealous roy

thank you @adrianna-lisbon for this prompt <3 i honestly cannot remember where/when you asked for this one, i just know i saved it into my wips with your name next to it 😭 i’m SO sorry its taken so long to get to you ;;__;; it got buried in my wips for a while. apologies! i hope you enjoy tho and that this is ok <3

also sorry if wasn’t you either ifdhs hashtag i’m a Mess but enjoy this oneshot on me if it wasn’t you!! <3

“Well?”

That was the greeting Riza Hawkeye received as she entered her apartment. Rolling her eyes, she locked the door and turned to greet the happy pup at her feet first. Hayate’s tail was wagging furiously while his paws danced happily on the wood below his feet. He’d missed her apparently while she was out on her adventure that night.

“Well what, Roy?”

She smiled at their dog as he rolled onto his back, begging her for some belly scratches. She happily obliged, cooing at him while her boyfriend hovered in the background. He didn’t need to fret. He didn’t need to get himself so worked up. Roy would absolutely deny it if she challenged him too, but it was so painfully obvious. She’d known him for too long not to notice it.

“How’d it go?”

He was trying to act casual but there was an underlying question there. He always asked how her day or evening out went, but this was different. There was an edge to his voice, as he wondered exactly what went on with her and the old friend she’d met up with that night.

“It was a very pleasant evening in good company,” she replied. And it was the truth. She’d caught up with an old friend from university while he was in town. They’d gone out for dinner with his wife, but that was tiny fact Roy seemed to have forgotten. Roy had been invited to the dinner as well, however he’d ended up working late at the office, so couldn’t make it. It didn’t help matters that she’d dated the man she’d been meeting up with in high school, and Roy had chosen to focus on that tiny detail of her past from over a decade ago, and not focus on the fact that her old friend was now married and his wife had been there tonight as well.

“That’s it?”

Sighing, Riza stood. She regarded her boyfriend. He was in his pyjamas, hands shoved into the pockets of his grey sweatpants that hung low on his hips. His t-shirt was plain and black, nothing special. However, if he were to stretch just the tiniest bit, she’d see his toned stomach. It was one of Riza’s favourite looks on him. While he looked dashing in his expensive tuxes on a night out or while going off to work in his three-piece suit, she’d take Roy Mustang in his pyjamas over all of that any day.

“You’re downright adorable when you’re jealous,” Riza smirked. “You know that, right?”

He huffed, a scowl overtaking his handsome face. “I’m not jealous,” he muttered darkly.

Riza laughed quietly at his barefaced lie, which only caused his scowl to deepen. He flopped down on the couch of their home, folding his arms across his chest with a pout.

"I’m going to get changed,” she called over her shoulder. She half expected him to follow her to their bedroom, but he didn’t. Riza didn’t think too much of it and took her time to unwind and get out of the dress she’d worn that evening. She’d picked it knowing Roy would love it, but unfortunately he’d been called into work at last minute, so he never saw what she was wearing until she walked through the door five minutes ago. Maybe that was what he was jealous about… It had sure disappointed Riza but couldn’t be helped. She knew she’d just have to save it for a later date instead.

Sighing, Riza changed into her pyjamas and padded back out into their living room. Roy hadn’t moved from the couch, still wearing his pout, and sitting slouched, with his arms crossed as he stared into the fire.

“What’s wrong?” she prompted.

“Nothing,” he muttered.

Liar.

“Listen… Nothing happened. Of course, nothing happened. And I came home to you, didn’t I?” Her reminder was gentle as she ran her hand through his hair. It didn’t hurt to have him be jealous over what she’d possibly been up to tonight. She knew where they stood and the nature of their relationship. So did Roy. She’d been in love with him for over a decade and the strength of that love had never wavered. Not once. She just knew he was protective over her. Riza Hawkeye certainly didn’t need any protecting, but she had to admit, it was a welcome feeling to have someone care about her so much.

He sighed quietly and his sulk, slowly uncrossing his arms so they fell to his sides.

“I wasn’t jealous,” he stated carefully.

Riza smirked, but it was out of his view. She hid her smile as he turned to face her, turning her expression into one of concern instead. Roy’s head tipped back, lying on the back of their couch, his eyes gazing into hers. He looked… worried?

“What were you feeling, then?” Her prompt was soft. Call her curious. If he wasn’t jealous, like he proclaimed, then why was he hovering over her and acting like it?

“I don’t know,” he muttered. His eyes lifted to the ceiling and fluttered as her fingers continued their ministrations in his hair. “I was worried about you.”

She didn’t hide her smirk this time. “Why?”

“Because…”

“That’s not a reason,” she teased.

He huffed again. She moved her fingers from his hair, gently smoothing down the frown on his brow.

“There was nothing to worry about. John is married, remember? He has wife and a child, who is adorable by the way. He was asking after you too,” she added. “He wondered how you were doing and was very surprised that we were still together.”

“Surprised?” His frown returned as he turned to face her completely.

Riza nodded. “Not in a bad way though. In fact, he was happy for us.” She smiled softly at Roy. “He said that he knew from day one that we’d be together for a long time.”

When John had revealed his thoughts on the matter, a deep warmth had spread throughout Riza’s body, making her extremely happy. She’d always known that fact. It always felt like she and Roy were made for each other, but to have someone else notice the way she felt about Roy Mustang, it was a wonderful feeling. It made her happy to know that their deep feelings for one another ran so deep that other people had become aware of it.

“Really?” He looked like a small child looking for reassurance.

“Would I lie to you?” She teased him, smirking as she removed her fingers from his face. He even whined at the loss of contact. She placed her palms atop each other and rested her head against them as she stared at her boyfriend. “Boyfriend” … At this point they were practically married.

“No, you wouldn’t,” he relented.

“Don’t sound so disappointed,” she laughed quietly.

“Not disappointed,” he added quickly, rolling over onto his side. He placed a hand on her cheek, cupping it and swiped his thumb over her cheekbone. “Just realising how dumb I’ve been.”

“Good to know you’re self-aware now,” she chuckled. When he pouted again, she laughed louder.

“I didn’t mean to insinuate you would… do anything either.” He huffed, clearly frustrated as he quickly tried to reassure her. “Okay, maybe I was a little jealous,” he admitted.

“Of what?”

“Maybe I was a little jealous,” he echoed, running his hand up and down her bare arm with a pressure that was barely there, “because I wanted to see you in that dress first.”

“I can put it back on for you,” she smirked, enjoying the shiver running up her spine.

“I don’t know… I kind of like the thought of it on our bedroom floor,” he smirked.

“You want me to put it on, just so you can take it off me again, don’t you?”

He just grinned at her, while Riza laughed, standing from the couch.

“You have nothing to worry about, Roy Boy,” she called over her shoulder, making sure she added extra sway to her hips. She shot him a rather coy look, batting her eyelashes and leaving him dumbstruck on their couch. Then she paused. “You’ve owned my heart for over ten years,” she added quietly, dropping her act and speaking sincerely. “And that’s never going to change.”

He was off the couch in a flash, rushing to meet her. When he did so, his hands gripped her waist tightly as he pressed his lips eagerly against hers. She responded in kind, smiling against him.

“I know I had nothing to worry about,” he whispered against her lips. “But I still missed you terribly.”

“I know. I missed you being there too. I wanted you to be there.” She felt terrible when she saw the guilty look overtake his features. “That’s not what I meant –”

“I know,” he reassured her. “Don’t worry. I promise,” he vowed, “this weekend I’ll take you out to a nice dinner. Just the two of us.”

She looped her arms around his neck. “I would absolutely love that.”

“So…”

“What?” She lifted an eyebrow to question him.

“Don’t put that dress back on.” His grin was absolutely wolfish. “Leave it as a surprise for me tomorrow.”

Her head tipped back as she laughed. However, Roy took the opportunity to attack her neck with his lips, turning her laughs into breathy moans.

“I much prefer you in these pyjamas anyway,” he murmured against her throat. “Because I’m the only one who gets to see you in them.”

“The feeling is mutual,” she whispered, gazing up at him before his lips descended once more.

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #royai oneshot #fic request #emma writes

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bunny-banana · 5 years ago

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For the director's cut thing, the story where Fabri asks Ermal out on a date but Ermal doesn't realize that? 👀

YO SO WE GONNA DO THAT OR WHAT

Its this fic btw if anyones curious.

Chap 1

Even with closed eyes, he sensed the man lying next to him turn towards him but Fabrizio did not spoke immediately. No, he just stayed silent for a bit, Ermal wasn’t quite sure what he was observing but before Ermal could ask, Fabrizio broke the silence.

its u. he’s gazing at u, u idiot.

’You didn’t exactly give off the vibe that you’d say yes’

“What the fuck does that even mean? I don’t give off the vibe?!”

mr no-homo meta has NO right to be surprised at that. boy went into a panic attack every time someone as much as breathed the suggestion ofc fab was Anxious

A certain Roman showing up at his doorstep looking like he’d belong to the Milan Fashion Week.A tight grey shirt whose top three buttons almost begged to be opened (yet remained miraculously, in Fabris case, closed!) clung nicely to the body underneath it. A very fine silver chain hung around his neck that perfectly fit with the rings and the watch on his hand.Instead of ripped denim, now tight & shiny dark jeans were worn and to round this look up, an impeccably tailored black, suit jacket was thrown over him.

so not to be Hoe on main but we all just love Sexy Fab. but more so, i really thought Fabrizio would have put a lot of effort into dressing nicely this time around. Probably called a few friends, crying to help him. He just wanted Ermal to like his look. Which he did. A lot. again, outstanding heterosexual of the year, ermal meta is completely mesmerised by that look.

“Well, well, Fab. Gotta say, this place is on a whole different level“ The curly haired man commented as he flipped through the menu.“You like it?”“How could I not?”

again, Fabrizio intentionally looking up a fancy place for their Date, something he actually felt a little bit uncomfortable about himself and wouldnt normally chose for himself. But then again, he was greatly relieved when Ermal actually did say he liked it.

*It felt.. nice. The whole evening was quite nice, Ermal had to admit, even with the unusual ambient.

Ermal is just honestly iconic in this fic. man enjoys fabrizios appearance, enjoys talking with him, eating out with him, just spending time with him in general sooo much……and yet.

Fabrizio tilted his head and was it the candle light or something else, but a intriguing shine filled his eyes.“I’d know something sweeter than this.” In the next moment, everything turned upside down when Fabrizio suddenly took his hand and intertwined their fingers, his thumb gently brushing over the back of the younger man’s hand.

THE COURAGE THIS TOOK. THE NERVES WHICH WERE WRECKED. Fab really just went “ok here we go balls to the wall now or never”

Chap2

“So, Fabrizio….Fabrizio likes me. Apparently.” It felt interesting to say it out loud. Ermal got a tingly feeling at the thought. So ..it was him who made Fabrizio blush earlier? Who made him nervous? And smiley? Christ, he actually really wanted Ermal to like his outfit, didn’t he? A small smirk found its way on Ermal’s face. Who would have thought that he’d have Fabrizio Moro of all people wrapped around his finger.

erm: so im het

also erm: wow i really really like the fact that fabrizio is into me. its actually super exciting. kinda makes me happy in a way.

“Wait, what?! I should ask him out?!”“Yeah? Isn’t that something you want?”Is that something he- But that would imply that he’d want to pursue Fabrizio, his very male, masculine, manly friend Fabrizio who was definitely not by any chance a woman. To have a relationship with guy that was …..romantic… and oh sweet Mother of God, sexual?!“I- I- I don’t know.”

so yeah, to get to the bottom of this, when you’re in the process of realising your own …..non-heterosexuality, its just A Lot to take in. I thought, realistically, that would just be a bit too much for Ermal to take in at that moment. He had to process the mere thought of “yes, you could have a romantic relationship with this guy, since he’s into you. Its absolutely a possibility”. When you’re conditioned to think “i can only ever date people of the opposite sex” all your life, it takes a bit of time to get accustomed to new possibilities.

And then theres the sexual aspect which is like, on Jupiter, for Ermal’s current state of mind.

Chap3

The video he currently was immersed in showed a slow-mo fight between a mongoose and a cobra that in all its intensity outdid any action movie in a heartbeat.

i remember watching that vid before writing that chapter and being mesmerised by it. u fucking go lil mongoose!

[Bizio]: sorry i cant this weekend

First, i just love the thought of him being saved as Bizio on Ermals phone. Second, the reason why he replied so late was because he was wrecking his mind about it. Should he go? should he not? god, the thought of seeing ermal excited him and yet scared him. nonononno. he’s trying to get Over Ermal. He needs space. he is not ready yet.

[Ermal]:Fabri!! Heard you’re coming up North! 😁 I have this excellent bottle of wine that a fan gave me the other day (don’t ask) so how about we open it at my place? I know you love a good wine 😉🍷

He couldn’t even slide the phone back into his pocket before it started buzzing. Surprisingly, the reply came almost instantly this time.[Bizio]:sorry no the schedule is pretty tight for me at the moment i dont think ill have much time in milan

i just image him getting the weirdest fucking fan gifts. also lmao the lightning speed with which fab replied. homeboy saw that wine would be involved and imemdiately thought “nononononono. worst case, my drunk ass might kiss him, god forbid. we are absolutely not gonna do that”

[Ermal]:So I’m flipping through the channels at home and there comes a baking show and I wouldn’t normally stop to watch but you know what they’re baking? Those creamy pastry things we had in Lisbon!

Now the idea about the Pasteis de Nata stemms from a real life event! During ESC 2018 i slept at a friends house and since the contest was held in Portugal we decided to cook something portuguese. Thats what we did. They fucking slap. Also, one of the best weekends ive ever had

However, this is how things continued as to all of Ermal’s messages, he’d receive rather uncharacteristically short replies. When he sent him photos he’d often not reply at all and even when he called Fabri didn’t pick.

Okay we have to image in WHAT kinda mental state Fabrizio is in that time. Boy is EMBARASSED to death. Then obviously, he is trying his hardest to get rid of this crush. So he just isnt talking to Ermal at all. Which in turn makes him lonely and sad. So then Ermal shoots him a message, sends him a picture and Fabrizio is immediately head over heels again. Which he shouldnt be. Bad Fabri. And the circle repeats itself.

Fabrizio who smiled sweetly at the host, who hugged her tightly, who joked with her and oh, whose eyes didn’t stick to her face but wandered more and more south.

Dude honestly, Fab was not flirting with anyone. He was just being nice as he usually is. And we all know he a lil bit sleazy so yeah, he might have looked down once or twice. but he really was not flirting. It was just Ermals affection-deprived mind going berserk.

Also that was the first time Ermal witnessed Fabrizio being affectionate with someone else. And the contrast to that cold shoulder he received was just the last straw for him.

“Why is he all smiley and lovey-dovey with her while he treats me as if I’m a war criminal?!” Ermal shouted the second the other line got picked up.“Uhm, hello? Maybe a ‘Good morning’ first of all? A simple ‘how are you doing, Sabina?’ would have been appreciated too.”

Damn bitch can ya greet ur sister first before going off smh

And would it have been really that bad if Ermal had just held on to his hand? Let Fabrizio gently stroke him with his thumb, maybe even squeeze back while Ermal’s finger draws circles over letters that covered the older man’s knuckles.It would have been nice and Ermal would have liked it.

I think he just needed to see what he was missing out to realise what he really has always wanted. If things were to go back to normal, he would have never made any realisations.

“Am I- Do I like Fabrizio?”

No, we dont ask what he is. Because thats for another time, a calmer time. Or maybe not at all. He doesnt know the answer to that question and its not important right now. All he knows is that despite it all, he likes Fabrizio.

The fact he was a guy was new, but those feelings involved weren’t.

I feel like this is just a very bisexual experience. At least to me it was. Its very confusing when u are genuinely attracted to the opposite sex, so you make the conclusion: you are obviously straight. Its not possibly that you are not-straight.

Then u start feeling attraction to someone of ur own gender and its like “hmmm. Obviously this must be fake since we have established that Im genuinely attracted to the opposite sex ”

But the thing is..it aint going away. And then u think how you’d perhaps be down for sex, and perhaps be down for something more, and perhaps do all those nice things you would be doing with someone of the opposite sex.

So yeah, its ..its really confusing and complicated to figure it out. And if you actually do have a feelings for someone it only makes matters more complicated ig

“Jesus, I really do like him. Me. Liking a guy.”

Again, once u made That Realisation, its just the WILDEST thing in the beginning. a complete NEW concept being applied to yourself.

“LISTEN CUT THE BULLSHIT I KNOW EXACTLY THAT YOU’RE HOME! OPEN UP OR I WILL STAND HERE ALL NIGHT I’M NOT FUCKING AROUND!” In addition to the knocking he now also started ringing the doorbell. He sure as hell wouldn’t move here until that door wasn’t opened.“I DONT GIVE A FUCK, I WON’T EVEN SLEEP AND NEITHER WILL YOU. I CAN GO ON FOREVER YOU HEAR ME, FABRIZIO MOBRICI?!”

Ermal is just unhinged in all my fics.

Epilogue

[Ermal💛]: You ready?

Fabrizio added that heart right immediately after Ermal left his house a week prior.

Ermal looked….cuddly.

So yeah we all know Fab isnt the keenest on fashion and shit. And i just though Ermal would want him to be as comfortable as possible on their date, so he was like “ay come casual” . and also, its sort of cute that Ermal lets Fabri see him so casual too, its sort of more private in that sense.

And those were still the mild surprises, let’s not start with the downright shock he felt when his brain started providing words like kissable, attractive, sexy and hot during lonelier nights.

i have a fic for those kinda nights too

“It’s not that far and God knows men your age need the exercise anyway.”

ermal just cant show affection like a normal person, he has to roast u even when he’s madly in love with u

What followed behind the colourful door was a small chaos. Literally. People constantly coming and going, with buzzing voices chatting in every corner. They made their way half through the rather crowded establishment, got greeted by a waiter who rushed past them, before they finally spotted a couple leaving, liberating two chairs for them.

SO YEAH. the restaurant. it is loosely based on a place here in Vienna. Its pakistani food too, its a buffet, its kinda chaotic like described in the fic. also u can pay as much as u want.

i just thought, yknow, its home made cooking and its kinda relaxed and chill and casual and has a certain liberal flair to it. and i thought yeah that has fabri energy we gonna use that. also their mango rice puddings fucking slap

Languages were not his forte, those belonged to Ermal, but Fabrizio ran through his options. It surely wasn’t French or Spanish, that he would at least recognise. German looked different too; they had those dots over their U’s and those curly B’s which allegedly weren’t B’s at all. Swedish? Danish? No. He’s been to Ikea often enough to know that his wardrobe wouldn’t be called Qershor. And Russian had different letters but maybe it was something similar to Russian?

Okay, so I’m a known Slut for Languages. Fabrizio is not. I can pretty much recognise most European languages in written form at some point in a text. Fabrizio can not. Therefore writing this from the perspective of someone who really isnt into languages was kind of interesting and a bit challenging. I was just thinking ‘how would he recognise them when he isnt into them?’ And i think, in the end, i did it realistically.

“Is it like..Serbian? Croatian? Or something?” He mumbled while putting a piece of eggplant in his mouth but quickly realised the answer when Ermal almost spit out his water from laughing.“No, definitely not. I can guarantee you, it’s very much not Serbian or Croatian ‘or something’.” Ermal chuckled with a bright smile, obviously enjoying their little guessing game. “But you’re close. In a way.”

This is SO embarrassing but this whole language guessing game was just a setup to an inside joke I have with myself. So, for those who don’t know, I speak Serbo-Croatian. And I study Slavic studies. The first things they tell you in the first lesson of the Slavic Linguistics course is “Please, for the love of God, PLEASE, dont say Albanian/Hungarian/Romanian is a slavic language”. Apparently many europeans assume these languages are because theyre surrounded by slavic countries. BUT TO AN ACTUAL SLAVIC NATIVE SPEAKER, the difference is immediately obvious and so its quite comical when people assume theyre related languages. So i thought the reverse would be kinda funny to Ermal too.

“I can be anything the teacher wants me to be. A good student, a naughty student, whatever floats his boat…” He asked sultrily before winking at the man across of him whose higher brain functions seemed to have ceased at once and just gaped at him like a fish.

boys whole brain got fried when the sexiest man in italy started flirting with him. issokay, he was just shocked. fabrizio has never been flirty with him before, he’ll get used to it.

“I was just trying to give you the best date that I could.“At those words, the Roman frowned however."Wait, this was a date?!”

im just an asshole honestly

They giggled as they finally closed the gap between them going for a slow and deep kiss.

i just love them being all SOFT and in LOVE

“Erm, I- I have an instore tomorrow, I better be well rested.”His counterpart just huffed and raised an eyebrow.“So were you planning on staying up all night, huh?”

Fabs horn dog brain definitively went HmmmmMmm this is nice:) ..could get even nicer:) but no fuck, i have work to do tomorrow

“Love how you immediately forget about a good night’s sleep once you have a tongue in your mouth.”“Fuck off.”

He just got carried away as if u were complaining ermal smh

"I bet on everything I have that your password is 'liberoanita1’ so yes, I actually can.”

Parents culture is just using ur children’s names as all your passwords and we all know Fabri is that kinda parent.

All in All, i also wanna talk about how the epilogue mirrors the first chapter, but in a more successful light.

Fabrizio dresses for Ermal - Ermal dresses for Fabrizio

fancy place - more casual place

They take the car - they walk

Fabrizio takes Ermals hand on the open for everyone to see - Ermal takes Fabrizios hand under the table, in private

They eat their dessert seperately - they eat theri dessert together

they fall out - they become closer, kiss

they dont talk - they plan the next date

anyway thanks for reading and thank uuuuuu for this ask julchen

#my fics

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pipothy · 5 years ago

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Feelings and stuff: Normality and being outside the box.

So, some of these posts are for me to talk about my feelings and thoughts. If intellectual rigour or critical assessments of equality are your reason for being here, steer clear! Here we step into how I feel, as I need to get better at articulating my feelings to people. Where better than here?

I want to talk about normality, and perhaps more accurately, how much it can twang not fitting into said pattern of normality.

I was walking around an Aquarium in Lisbon. I distinctly remember at various points, wanting myself to enjoy it more. I looked at the fish, and found them immediately a tad interesting and then became quickly uninterested. I saw people reading about the fish, and the idea of that bored me to death. I watched the penguins briefly and was very joyous, as well as the otters. But, quickly, it faded.

I became anxious. I was wondering why I wasn’t enjoying it more. Everyone else was around there, taking pictures and revelling in just literally examining these things. I was a bit lost. I left quite soon after starting, having felt like I hadn’t quite wasted the money that I spent but clearly didn’t get as much out of it as others do.

This is a pretty normal interaction for me on basically any outing, where I am reminded and thus very anxious about how I don’t enjoy what most people seem to enjoy.

After consulting the people I was on holiday with and they confirmed that they likely wouldn’t have enjoyed it too, the anxiety subsided. This is also entirely normal… and makes me wonder why I constantly retreat back to anxiety when this happens, despite me knowing that I am surrounded by people who are also either vastly different from the norm and validating, or prove that the norm isn’t really where we think it sits. Both views are entirely valid and have a good element of truth.

A childhood of being conditioned and reminded that I am a square peg for a round hole is as insidious as one might imagine.

I remember being diagnosed with Asperger’s. I remember being in the room with someone observing me, and a meeting with my mother and a doctor straight afterwards. I was innocent, and clueless. But even then, I knew something was going on.

I remember as well my class having a private class about “how I work and to interact with me”, where I was removed from the class and not told why. They were told that they could hold up a “happy face” to make it clear to me that things were good and ok, and a “sad face” if something was wrong.

That went further than alienating, that was just damn patronising.

Those are pretty extreme examples of where I was thrown out of the box pretty hard… but examples are everywhere, and it has a lasting impact. It’s been years of coming to terms with, and then celebrating, my very differences. I don’t need to enjoy being so wasted on the high street that I’m chundering everywhere, I don’t need to enjoy a boozey trip to Ibiza, I don’t need to enjoy museums or watching animals, nor do I need to enjoy empty conversation.

I don’t always believe how celebration-worthy I am, or how not alone I am in what I enjoy… and that’s hard sometimes.

#feels

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the-canary · 6 years ago

Text

The Meaning of French Toast - B.B

Summary: It meant a lot of things, including what you felt for each other. (Modern AU! Reader/Bucky Barnes).

Masterlist

A/N: This came out of a smaller drabble from @just-add-butter ‘s request. It took a lot longer than I thought it would, but I hope you enjoy it!

Feedback is always welcomed.

“And if we’re both single by 30, I’ll ask you out on a date. Hell, I’ll even marry ya.”

Is it stupid to cling to a drunk’s words from your college years? Yeah, you’re pretty sure it is, but you couldn’t help it when it came to him -- that bastard, James Buchanan Barnes. You were a little too sober and he was little too drunk, at least you think, when he said those words back at the college graduation party and because of your teeny-tiny crush you clung to them. You waited patiently, though your own failed romances and his own, and now here you were -- two days after your 30th birthday, a couple of months after his own, in your favorite brunch place on a bright Saturday morning.

It was what you guys always did in order to take a break and catch up. You had been doing it as long as you could remember, however there were also exceptions to the rule, though James always made sure to tell you ahead of time, not the morning of.

Bucky: Had a late night. Could we meet up later instead?

You type an “okay” and pretend that you have forgotten about the whole thing, the whole stupid notion that has been swirling in your head over the past 6 years because it’s only seems to be you carrying this makeshift battle wound. You’re sort of glad you didn’t go all out today on your outfit like you were planning to, it seems to ease the blow. So, when your usual waitress looks at the empty seat next to you and your watery smile, she can’t help but frown a little and you know what she wants to say, but you bite your lip and simply order.

“French toast to go, please.”

Freshman.

You first meet a young and nervous James Buchanan Barnes during that stupid freshman orientation because you were stuck in the same group with him and some other girls. Even then, James knew he could steal the crowd with a smile and an easy joke, maybe it had something to do with those hypnotic blue eyes or charming Brooklyn accent that filtered through a crooked smile. You hate the whole day because the girls won’t stop giggling whenever he talks -- it also doesn’t help that you have little sleep due to your flight and even now, you’re starting to feel a little homesick, even if you are at your dream school.

It doesn't help that you get lost along the way after orientation because your parents had thought it would be nicer to rent you a hotel and you had never been able to read a map.

“Hey, are you lost?” a familiar voice causes you to look up to see blue eyes and a crooked smile. You almost want to say no, but your stomach growls instead. He laughs and you want to be buried alive from all the embarrassment you are suddenly feeling.

“If you want, I could should a good diner and help find your place,” he remarks with his hands up, showing that he means no harm at your sudden glare,”Only if ya want.”

“Ok...I guess,” you mumble in defeat as he grins.

“The name’s Bucky Barnes! You were in my orientation group right,” he starts asking as you guys cross the busy New York street, “What are ya studying?”

Oh, if your younger self knew what 5 years would change, she would surely hate you.

One week. Two weeks.

Bucky hasn’t contacted you in that amount of time, but you sort of understand. You can see it in the social media you share -- the pretty redhead he seems to be smiling with and while it hurts the center of your chest. You take a deep breathe and choose to ignore it. You’ve had your work cut for you as deadlines starting coming up along with more work and even a business convention. Hell, your family on the West Coast even wanted to see you, so another birthday passed you by and while you tried to convince yourself that it would all get back to normal soon, yet somehow it feels different -- like something important has passed you by.

Maybe, that's why you were making french toast from Youtube videos at 2 in the morning. You just couldn’t sleep, thank goodness that Peggy was willing to lend an ear --though you didn’t give her all the details-- from her current trip in London as she had always been an early riser.

“I don’t know how long I am planning on staying,” you pause between looking at the video and pan at hand,”But, maybe it will be a good break, ya know?”

Peggy hums at the end of your blabbering, “Well, I think you deserve a break and you have the hours for it. Just make sure, you know that you’ll that this is all just temporary. Life changes to quickly, even if you’re trying to run away from it.”

“That obvious, huh?” you question, while transferring the finish toast from the pan onto the plate. Various syrups and jams are on top of the kitchen countertop, alongside some cooled coffee. Peggy laughs, as you sit alone in the complete stillness of your apartment.

“Since sophomore year,” she declares with a laugh that you can’t help but join in, even if a bit bitterly. And in that moment, the french toast in all its sugary goodness tastes like utter defeat.

Sophomore.

In the year and half that you had known Bucky Barnes, you realized that you were sort of wrong about the fella. Yes, he could charm the panties out of almost any girl, you had seen it happen multiple times, but he was also a lot of other things as well. You saw him work to help his sisters and mom, saw him study until early morning after getting out of his work, you saw him breakdown because he was frustrated with the material of his math classes. However, when he triumphed, when something went his way -- the boy was pure gold with that smile of his.

“All on me promise,” you declare, as the two of take a seat in the familiar red booth from a year ago. It wasn’t often, due to the money available as a college student, that you guys came here but Bucky had passed his last final, the one that he nearly spent two days without sleep for, and was officially part of the Engineering program. It was just gonna get tougher from here on out, but you wanted to celebrate with him for a bit.

“You really didn’t have to,” Bucky smiles at the waitress who gives you the menu. You shake your head, already knowing what you want.

“We need to celebrate your accomplishment,” you empathize since Steve and Sam had already taken him out drinking two nights ago, “Besides, who knows when we’ll time for this again.”

“What do ya mean?” he asks almost hesitantly, as you order the french toast and he gets the grand slam breakfast. Blue eyes watching you with purpose, as you simply shrug.

“Well, I’m studying abroad next semester and you’ll be building shit,” you let out a nervous chuckle, not sure how Bucky will take the news that you’re traveling abroad. He was the only one you hadn’t told, though you aren’t sure why.

“So, it’s a little busier,” it’s his turn to shrug, “You’re always gonna be just down the hall and we can always call each other. Nobody’s moving away, doll.”

“You should have been an English major, Buck,” you laugh at his sentiment, only for him to smile as the waitress comes and brings your drinks.

The rest of the time is spent eating, sharing stories and plans -- yours on what you plan on doing in Lisbon and his over his latest conquest. Time seems slower than usual and at the sight of him spitting and laughing orange juice out of his mouth over your comment on sexual skittles, you try to ignore that your heart skips a beat.

“So, your cousin finally left?” Steve asks as he takes another sip of his beer. It was on of those rare times that the two childhood friends manage to catch-up in between work and Peggy coming home, and that was totally ignoring Bucky’s major problem of the past couple of weeks.

“Yeah, said she wanted to see Toronto,” Bucky laughs. Natasha, his favorite Russian cousin, and her sort-of American boyfriend had come last minute to enjoy the short break that they had from work, which had coincided with a certain birthday, “Those two are cute together, though.”

“And have you talked to her yet?” Steve questions, as Bucky turns to look away. The blond had been there all those years ago when Bucky declared what he would do on your 30th birthday. Steve had dickish but friendly tendency to remind him that each year he was closer to finally confessing what he really felt, on the year of it finally happening he had finally left Bucky to do what he had planned. It didn’t turn out so well, and Steve had give him hell for it.

“I’ve been busy,” Bucky gives as a weak excuse, as Steve decides to throw it all in once and for all. Peggy might get mad at him later, but he was tired of Bucky --with all his charm and know-how-- to be so indecisive when it came to one of their closest friends. I mean, how couldn’t he see it while everyone else did?

“You know she’s leaving, right?” Steve questions hesitantly, as blue eyes widen. Bucky’s mouth hanging open like a fish mid-drink, unsure of what to say next.

“ W-What -- How do you know?”

“She told Peggy that she was heading to the West Coast, back home,” Steve explains, as Bucky just sits there taking all this new information in, “Doesn’t know when she’ll be back.”

Bucky sits on this for a long time, as Steve gives him a regretful smile. He gets up, leaving his beer halfway done, before telling Steve he has to go, nearly running out the door -- a thousand of mistakes rearing back in his head.

She can’t leave. I have to tell. Should have told years ago, you fucking idiot.

Junior.

It’s a couple of weeks after the couch incident and as much as you want to ask Bucky if he’s all right and how is it going with his secret crush, but midterms come around and you get stuck in the library with a lengthy research paper. While, Bucky had gone to a robotics competition, and for some reason you missed him terribly. You briefly wonder if this is how he might have felt when you were gone the first half of the year, though you doubted it -- Bucky always had a catch at hand.

It isn’t until you’re in a drunken stupor with Peggy, watching the couples dance from the upper level of the bar that it hits you like a freight train.

“Pegs,” you hiccup terribly, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. She sighs, you had always been a sentimental drunk, “I think I love Bucky.”

“That took you long enough,” she states as she drags the two of you away from the flashing lights, probably to call a cab back to your apartment building, “Think about it and tell if you really feel that way in the morning.”

“Okay, mom,” you murmur sleepily on her shoulder, as she shakes her head.

And with a sober mind, the next time you see Peggy, you just confirm that aching feeling in your heart.

It takes him a whole day to put everything he wants to say to you together, to gain the courage to go up to your front door and knock on it. However, what Bucky wasn’t expecting was you with a watery smile while folding up some clothes and a rolling bag in your living room, though it still seems all your furniture is in tact -- at least for now.

“Bucky,” you question softly as he turns to look at you. Your eyes are wide and questioning as he pulls your body into his. You grow stiff for a moment and Bucky starts babbling before he loses all his well-crafted confidence.

“ I love you ,” he exclaims, as you let out a barely audible what but he keeps going, “I’ve been such a fool for so long, but if you’re leaving -- I--I just needed to let you know. I know I left you hanging on your birthday, but I was scared...so scared you would have forgotten. I don’t think my heart would’ve taken it.”

He stops talking and you’re still in the middle of your doorway, but he doesn't seem like he’ll let you go anytime soon. Thus, you decide that you need some answers in this horrible mess.

“Forget what, James?” you wrap your arms around his, as he places his forehead next to your cheek knowing what the use of his first name --that you want the complete truth-- means between the both of you.

“Okay, I think we need to back up and talk about this,” you explain pushing him away, but making sure that he comes inside so that you can have that long talk. It seems to be needed between the two of you.

Senior.

Graduation party .

You’re both drinking a little too much, while sitting the balcony as the party continues inside. The both of you are lamenting a lot of things at the end of the road, as the two of you smile and laugh at ending this chapter of your lives -- you staying in New York and Bucky moving to Florida for awhile.

“I’m gonna miss ya, Bucky,” is all you manage to say in a whine breaking the silence, as blue eyes never seem to stop looking at your face.

“I’ll be back. It’s just a summer program,” he tries to calm you down, while rubbing your back.

“But, it won’t be the same,” you cry out,“We’ll get jobs, barely see each other, and one day have a significant other -- hell, maybe even kids and then well ask: What happened to that chick I knew in college.”

“That might not happen,” he explains, as you lean into his body, humming softly so close to believing him, but really not, “ And if we’re both single by 30, I’ll ask you out on a date. Hell, I’ll even marry ya.”

“Ya promise?”

“Yeah.”

It takes all night to explain just exactly what is going on between the two of you. The mistake of who Natasha really is and why Bucky had ignored you for three weeks. You explain where you are going to for the next couple of weeks, simply see some family and attend a conference for the company that you work with. There is still one unanswered question between the two of you, though all that is left unsaid for sleep and in the morning for food. You’re smiling and he is too, and doesn’t seem to want to let go of your hand at all as you take a seat on the other side of the booth, only for him to scoot closer to you than usual.

It’s a familiar type of clatter, but your head is somewhere else as you grab Bucky’s hand, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles. Your heart speeding up in your chest, as you stare at anything but him.

“I’ve got one last question,” you whisper softly, moving your eyes to stare at the table top, Bucky tells the waitress if she could wait a bit longer.

“Did you mean...when you said…,” your voice stops as Bucky moves your chin with his free hand so that you’re starting at him completely.

“Yup,” he says with a wide grin without missing a beat, “Have for a long time now, doll.”

“Then, you owe me a birthday kiss, big boy,” you giggle out in excitement and relief as his blue eyes sparkle with something else completely. The table makes it awkward, but be manages to have enough room to move you into his body and give you a peak on the lips, but as he moves away you grab his cheeks and drag him back into a longer, more desperate version that has the both of you smiling.

“Finally!” a female voice declares, dragging you and Bucky away from each other with nervous chuckles as your usual waitress just shakes her head, “Took you guys long enough.”

She smiles, as you order your usual and for once, the taste of the french toast had never been sweeter.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes x reader #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky banes fan fic #bucky barnes fluff #series: short stories #drabble asks #fabiola trying to write

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butindeed · 6 years ago

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Dear diary, (TRR AU chapter 2)

Riley Hopkins has been bagpacking through Europe after her life changed tragically. What will happen when she decides to settle down in a small country called Cordonia?

Note: Some of the chapters may contain sensitive topics such as violence, sex, death and depression.

Tags: @brightpinkpeppercorn @sleepwalkingelite

Hi.

I remembered something else that happened some days before my… episode. I remember Madeleine asking me to pick up her engagement ring and seeing one awfully familiar to the one you gave me that night, people entering and exiting the shop, the entrance bell tinkling louder and louder and everything turning black. I also remember Max hugging me and asking me if everything was ok, I don’t know where he came from actually, I was just glad he was there.

You know, I can’t believe it’s been two years! It actually feels like yesterday when we moved into that tiny ass apartment so we could save up for our own house. We were so young! You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve grown. I think you’d be proud of me.

After everything, I sub leased our apartment to Kai and left home. I’ve never looked back.

That’s how I met them; the guys I mean. I first met Maxwell in Lisbon, around a month after I’d left. He saw right though me, saw I needed a friend, and without making any questions he started making jokes. He took me to a Portuguese folk dance display. He was pursuing his dream of becoming a professional dancer, so he was travelling the world getting to know different dances and cultures. We parted about two weeks later at Baragança.

Some weeks later I met Hana in Barcelona. She was running away from home, where her parents had gotten her engaged with a wealthy catch who was twice her age and she didn’t even like. Especially since she had come out of the closet to her parents some months before the arrangement. As both had nowhere to be, we decided to continue the journey together, as sisters we’ve gotten to become.

We ran into Max again in Milan, but this time he had company: his brother Bertrand, a close friend, Liam and his brother, Leo. They were on a business trip there, since they were being trained to take over their parents. On the second day Leo told me he was ditching everything and leaving to Greece, looking for some adventures. He asked me if I wanted to go too, but I was too caught up on Liam.

Liam and I went on a few dates, and even got to first base. But soon discovered we’re better off as friends.

We continued to flirt once and then, that’s why many of our acquaintances thought we were dating for about a year.

In Paris we met the Walker siblings, Savannah and Drake and we instantly hit it off. Well, with Savannah actually, Drake was, and still is too broody for my taste. He doesn’t talk much, and when he does he seems to be judging me. Drake and Liam are best friends actually! They’ve known eachother since they were 8 or 9. Savannah and her soon to be roommate Kiara were apartment hunting.

Finally I met Madeleine and Olivia when I moved here about a year and a half ago. They were certain that Liam and I had eloped in Paris and had arrived as newlyweds, probably because that’s we said upon our arrival, but you’d think they’d get the sarcasm, right? You should have seen their faces. Thinking back, that’s probably why it took me so long to befriend Olivia, I could tell immediately she is into Liam.

I stopped trying with Madeleine once she told me she didn’t actually mind if I slept with him, provided I’d do it in private since the only reason why she was going after Liam was because after her failed engagement to Leo she wasn’t going to give up on running Rhys Inc.

Apparently her dream is about to come true, since last month Liam and Madeleine parents decided it’d be fit for them to marry. Can you imagine if you’d asked me to marry because it’d be fit?

OMG I think I got a bit caught on the writing!

Bye!

Riley.

#Riley #Riley Hopkins #TRR AU #Cordonia #Liam Rhys #Bertrand Beaumont #Maxwell Beaumont #Drake Walker #Savannah Walker #Hana Lee #Madeleine #Olivia Nevrakis #Dear diary chapter 2

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carolightpenvenys · 6 years ago

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DEADLY NIGHTSHADE CHAPTER 4

Chapter 4: sister act

Caroline 6.26am

Verity 6:27

girl this better be good you woke me up

caroline cmon

the suspense is killing me

Caroline 6:30

you know i said we were on a boy cleanse

well

Verity 6:31

tell me

is this gonna make me feel better abt getting back together with andrew

Caroline 6:33

verity! i thought we agreed that until he put a ring on it we were saying no!!!!

but possibly yes

Verity 6:35

i’m weak ok

what’s the tea

Caroline 6:37

black

Verity 6:37

what

Caroline 6:38

chai

Verity 6:39

what

Caroline 6:40

i slept with the hot doctor on my case and i am like 90% sure i am in love with him

Verity 6:41

oh girl

tell me everything

CALLING VERITY

“Oh my God, is he still there?” Were Verity’s first words when she answered the phone.

Caroline sighed, “Sadly not. We’re doing this very sexy thing where we fucked out our emotions and now we are supposed to be professional. He left last night.”

“Oh Caroline.” Verity sighed. “What have you done?”

“I don’t even know? Like I was the one who suggested it?”

“Why?”

“I kind of told him that I liked him a lot but I thought he was getting weirded out so I just went haha let’s fuck? And he went for it. How am I going to go to work on Monday Verity?” Caroline sighed. “Actually I’m glad he’s not here, Horace climbed in my bed and even he is recoiling at my awful morning breath.”

Verity laughed audibly. “I’m so sad I literally live 1000 miles away. I want to meet this guy!”

“Yeah why did you move to Lisbon? I miss you. I need you to see if you think he’s as hot as I think he is.”

“You know it’s quite encouraging.” Verity remarked. “Normally after you sleep with a guy, you question how you were even attracted to him in the first place.”

“Ugh, why do I have to have feelings Verity?” Caroline whinged, cuddling Horace closer. “I’ve decided the only man I’m allowing into my life now is Horace. That’s it. That’s the rules.” She climbed out of bed, almost dropping her iPhone in the process.

“I mean, we all saw how you lasted with your no men rule.”

“Stop it!” Caroline made a beeline for the kettle, ready to make a (good) cup of (proper) tea, unlike that milky shit Dwight lovingly makes her every morning. “I never catch feelings, what’s wrong with me?”

“Honestly who even is she anymore? Colour me shoo-”

“Verity! Emergency!” Caroline picked up some of her own stationary with ‘For Caroline’ scrawled on the front.

“What?” Verity called back but Caroline had already put the phone down, ripping open the envelope keenly.

Dear Caroline,

Just to let you know, I know very little about women (who aren’t patients) but I know enough to know you’re a fantastic one.

Thank you for a wonderful night,

Dwight x

“Verity my fanny is fluttering intensely.” Caroline picked the phone back up.

“Caroline!”

“How am I supposed to work with him when he keeps giving me all these… love kernels?”

“You’ve got to stay strong.” Verity was using her motivational mum voice. “Resolute.”

“He left me his number, I’m going to text him, ask what time he’s coming in on Monday.”

“Caroline I really don’t think that’s a-”

“Goodbye Verity!” Caroline slammed down her phone before realizing that could break the screen and also that she needed it immediately to text Dwight. Her hands were shaking a little and she was shocked at the pure effect he had on her. She didn’t feel like she’d ever felt like this about a man before, despite the overwhelming amount of men (and women) interested in her.

“Oh fuck.” She put an earl grey tea bag in her mug, something she’d become accustomed to since meeting Dwight. “I’m a white man’s whore.” Horace was whining at her feet and she opened her double doors to let him out, contemplating how she’d been so involved in solving this damn case, she’d put herself second again. Which she swore she’d never do.

Maybe sleeping with Dwight was a mistake. Maybe she should make him less involved in the case.

But you see, he had this way of connecting with witnesses, asking the right questions that made Caroline feel more secure, even as an experienced detective.

Plus, she sighed, there was definitely something there. Why on earth did he have to be her colleague?

“Oh Horace,” she spooned his food into his bowl where he had returned from the garden. “I’ve fucked up.”

Horace simply snaffled his food in reply and she stared at him fondly. Living in a ground floor apartment meant she had a beautiful little patio and she could watch Horace all day at the weekend, unless the case was really desperate. But she’d bought her files home and was ready to read up on her next witness, Rowella Chynoweth.

Why on earth hadn’t she called on the sister of the deceased earlier? Apparently she lived in the next town over but witness statements showed they had not spoken since Morwenna’s marriage to Osborne Whitworth. This seemed unlikely due to the close proximity of the sisters. Character references also seemed to prove she couldn’t hold a job down, with one employer calling her a ‘pathological liar.’

As much as she admired Dwight, she knew she’d have to do this one alone.

POLICE INTERVIEW WITH SUSPECT:

MISS ROWELLA CHYNOWETH (POSSIBLE WITNESS, SISTER OF THE DECEASED): RC

DET. CAROLINE PENVENEN: CP

CP: Just to reassure you, this is a chat more than an interview, legal counsel probably is not required unless you insist on it.

RC: Well, when I need it I have the best that money can buy.

CP: Really? I have a warrant to your bank statements that seem to suggest otherwise.

RC: I have my means.

CP: Are you referring to the £1,000 given to you each month by an Osborne Whitworth?

RC: Yes, they regret they could not see me often so they sent me some compensatory money.

CP: That’s odd. Unusual for a family. Did Mowenna know about this money?

RC: Yes.

CP: I will make note of this. What was your relationship like with your sister and her husband?

RC: My sister and I drifted apart after her marriage. I always thought her jealous of me because she chose to be married and regretted it after.

CP: Some witnesses have reported that your sister was unhappy in her marriage, does this surprise you?

RC: Honestly? She was miserable all the time about one thing or another I wouldn’t take that too seriously.

CP: Did you ever notice any abnormalities in her marriage to the Reverend Whitworth?

RC: As I say, I distanced myself after the marriage.

CP: Yes, could we go through that again? You have ‘distanced’ yourself by living just one town over but they miss you so much, they send you compensatory money?

RC: Yes, I wouldn’t change a word you said. Let the record show that. Anything else?

CP: Yes one more thing, where were you the afternoon and evening of the murder?

RC: With my boyfriend, a man named Arthur Sawley.

CP: That’s all for now, Rowella, don’t skip town.

END OF INTERVIEW

Caroline swung open her office door, ready to collapse into her comfortable chair when-

“You look absolutely exhausted and it’s only 10am.”

Dwight was sat in the chair opposite her desk, smiling, as if he had been there for quite a while and honestly? It had Caroline shook up.

“Oh yeah sorry,” Caroline forced out a smile through her shock. “I just had a really difficult witness.”

“Oh really? I didn’t know you had one coming in today.” Dwight countered as Caroline made herself comfortable in her chair. Honestly even retaining eye contact with him was a lot right now.

“Yeah Rowella Chynoweth. She’s a liar, I sense it in my gut. And from several sturdy character references.” Caroline scribbled furiously on her interview notes. “There’s this £1000 I just cannot justify.” She explained to him about the monthly payments and Dwight furrowed his brow.

“Maybe he’s paying her off for something?”

“But she said Morwenna knew about the payments?” Caroline could not connect the dots.

“But she’s a liar.” Dwight shrugged. “By the way, your hair looks nice today.”

Caroline blushed. She’d worn her hair down for the first time in ages and she wasn’t wearing a pantsuit for the first time in ages because she’d decided it was a new week and time for a new Caroline. “Thank you.” She’d always been excellent at taking compliments. How well she had been schooled. “I need a fucking clue, none of this is slotting together.” She’d been biting her biro for the last five minutes. “When will people stop lying?”

“She seems like the number one suspect at the moment.” Dwight suggested. “I’m sad I didn’t get to interview her sociopathic self.”

“Oh you missed nothing- I knew what I had to do and at least I’ve got some frankly lazy cover stories to work with.”

“Hey Caroline.” She was startled by the receptionist knocking on the door. “This just came for you.”

She passed a brown envelope with a printed label saying DET. CAROLINE PENVENEN

“Ooh I hope it’s my payslip.” Caroline smiled. “I’m broke as hell this month.” Dwight didn’t need to know that with her inheritance she’d never have to work a day in her life because it wasn’t important.

“It looks lowkey suspicious.” Dwight winced slightly.

“The new receptionist is very new so I will just have to see what amateur hour she’s produced here.” Caroline broke the seal with her letter opener she’d used only once before.

Inside were two sheets of paper almost stuck together and Caroline gasped when she saw what it was. “Oh my God Dwight.” She said under her breath, “You’re not going to believe this.”

For inside the envelope were two… indecent pictures of Rowella Chynoweth and the Reverend Osborne Whitworth.

“Oh my god.” Dwight gasped. “First of all, I’m never going to unsee that, put it away. Second of all, that’s probably what the money was for.”

“Morwenna couldn’t have possibly known about that money.” Caroline shook her head. “But I think we just found some motive.”

“Next question,” Dwight added, “Who sent this?”

“I will run the envelope to evidence for prints but I doubt there will be anything. Whoever is giving me these clearly wants to remain anonymous.” Caroline sighed. “FUCK.”

“You know, you should start a swear jar,” Dwight reclined his seat. “You’d make so much money.”

“When I was younger, swearing was bad manners. My uncle always said ‘no man will ever love you if you have a foul mouth’ and I just thought… well fuck.”

“That’s actually not true.” Dwight replied. “If anything it makes you more intellectual, shows you have a stronger grasp on the English language.”

Caroline blushed again. “Dwight, stop.” She shook her head. “Next thing I’ll have myself thinking you believe in me.”

To that, Dwight just smiled enigmatically. “What’s the harm in me believing you can solve this case?”

Hi yeah, the problem is I’m trying to delete my feelings for you but every time we are in the same room it intensifies times 100.

“Nothing. I’m a brilliant detective.” Caroline smirked. “And you’re a subpar doctor.”

“Stop it.” Dwight laughed. “I didn’t spend seven years at university to be called subpar!”

“Ok,” Caroline conceded, trying to tone down how extra she was being because she felt as if she was embarrassing herself. “I’ll confess, you’re a pretty great doctor. To dead people. I guess.”

“Wow.” Dwight was happy she’d finally cracked. “That’s going to be the opening statement on the cover letter for my next job.”

“What?” Caroline furrowed her eyebrows. “You’re leaving the morgue?”

“Yeah, I’ve done my time. I want to be a GP, it’s a bit more my scene. I’m going to have to go back to school for a bit first, but yeah, I plan to leave for Cambridge as soon as this case is over.”

Caroline’s heart was stamped on. Is this why he wanted to solve the case as soon as possible? Why the change? Did he not want to work with her anymore?

“Caroline,” Dwight attempted to regain her eye contact. “You literally look as if you’ve seen a ghost, are you ok?”

“This isn’t about… what happened between us is it?” Caroline could barely get the words out, she felt as if her mouth was made of cotton. How had she caught feelings so fast?

“No.” Dwight was quick to respond, holding his hand out over the table. “You are quite an incredible woman Caroline but not so much so you make me want to change practice.”

Caroline tentatively put her hand out back. “You see, things like this hurt me Dwight.”

“Things like what?”

“I don’t know whether it’s because you’re my colleague, or whether you’re a professional but, I just never feel like you’re completely in my reach.” Caroline said in a voice barely more than a whisper.

“Caroline,” Dwight replied almost instantly. “Do you want me to be in reach?”

Desperately, Caroline thought to herself.

“Until you go to Cambridge.” Caroline kept her voice calm. “I think we should keep doing… what we do. I don’t think I’m ready to let go yet. Are you?”

Dwight sighed, carding a hand through his hair. “I wish I could say I was but, we are going to have to keep it secret.”

“The best kept secret.”

“How did this get so complicated?” Dwight was confused. “If this were any other circumstance I would be dating the hell out of you right now.”

Is what you wanted him to say.

What he actually said was, “Thank you Caroline. I’ve got another body in the morgue, see you tonight?”

“Yeah,” Caroline breathed out gently, blushing at the thought. “See you tonight Doctor Enys.”

A/N: I WANT UR THEORIES!! WHO IS THE MURDERER AND WHO IS SENDING THOSE NOTES? WILL CAROLINE AND DWIGHT EVER MAN UP AND TELL EACHOTHER HOW THEY FEEL?

#dwight x caroline #fic #au #rowella chynoweth #morwenna chynoweth #dwight enys #caroline penvenen #poldark

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travelteatv · 5 years ago

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I didn’t really know what to expect with Lisbon. I’d seen the pictures of beautiful streets and rooftop bars but still wasn’t sure of the overall vibe of the city. It’s become a very popular destination recently with almost everyone I know going, or planning to go. This is sometimes something I can get a bit put off by, as I get worried that it will be a bit too touristy.

Ok yes, there are parts of it that are touristy but as long as you steer clear of eating right in the centre and in general, steer clear of the obvious tourist traps, it still (to me) felt very homely and real.

My main comment about Lisbon is that it really is full of surprises. There’s a lot of different districts and neighbourhoods, so you can make of it what you will. We wanted a relaxing break; eating, drinking and wandering around, and that’s exactly what we got.

There are definitely cool clubs and raging bars but it wasn’t what we were looking for. In general, get ready to put your walking shoes on and give your thighs a workout (mine were sore from the hills for days after) and then from there, take it easy. Don’t worry about getting lost because there’s so many beautiful buildings there, you’ll always end up where you were meant to.

Even though we definitely did take it easy in the few days we were there, we still made the most of our time. Whether you have one or seven days, I would definitely recommend fitting some of the below into your itinerary:

Take in Some Views

The Santa Justa Lift downtown has a viewing platform at the top, where you can get some really good views of the centre of Lisbon. It’s also just something a bit different, getting in a 19th century elevator. It costs 5 euros, or you can use your metro pass.

As well as the lift, Lisbon has many incredible viewpoints that you’ll find simply from walking up and down the hills. At the top of a some hills, there are bars which will allow you to take drinks outside – all you have to do is pay a deposit on a plastic cup and you are then allowed to use it outside. Or of course, if you prefer you can just bring your own drinks and sit outside.

Delve into the local food scene

The food in Lisbon was something that took me by surprise for a few reasons; both good and bad. For one, I might have been too easily lead by Nandos (yes I know it started in South Africa ok), but I always thought that Portugal was huge on chicken. I may have been looking in the wrong places but I found they were much more into pork and fish, neither of which I’m a big fan of.

Nonetheless, we still found some incredible food – mostly in small holes in the wall, with only a few seats; these places tend to be a bit cheaper although it may feel like you’re taking a risk as it doesn’t look as ‘fancy’. My top tip is to look out for locals eating there at lunchtime – they’ll know where’s good. In fairness though, as usual, the best places we ate at were recommended to us, although some we stumbled upon ourselves.

The Atira-te ao Rio for example, is an incredible restaurant that my boyfriend found – located next to some abandoned warehouses on the other side of the river (there are plenty of boats over there), it’s an incredible experience. It’s a very popular spot but if you get there early enough and put your name down, you should be able to get a table, even without a prior reservation. We sat right on the harbour outcrop and had an amazing view of the bridge, plus a crazy amount of fish in the water next to us. Plus, it’s an interesting area that’s a lot different to the other side of the river and worth a wander.

Another great place was the Alfama Cellar, which was directly below where we stayed; it was recommended to us by our host and really was incredible. It was a bit pricier than some of the other smaller places but really worth it. Everything was cooked to perfection and the waiters couldn’t have been nicer.

As well as restaurants, the other thing I loved were the coffee places. There’s nothing like that moment when you finally get to sit down after hours of walking up and down hills. My personal favourite place was (ironically) the Copenhagen Coffee Lab although I did have one issue with it – birds. If you’re going to go, definitely pick a seat inside otherwise you’ll be swarmed by seagulls (which I didn’t find particularly relaxing).

Aside from that, the coffee is great and they have some really interesting (although definitely not Portugese) snacks/treats on offer.

The other thing, of course, that you can’t miss when in Lisbon are the Portugese tarts. There are a few places there which are famous for them – Manteigaria and Pastéis de Belém but generally, they’re all pretty good. It’s definitely worthwhile trying some of the more well known ones but in general, I would say a good aim is to just eat as many as you can while you’re there. There’s nothing quite like a warm, melty custard tart to start and end your day.

Stop by the Time Out Market

Ok, this is more food but the Time Out Market is somewhere I can’t not mention. It’s a big market with food, drinks, local souvenirs/gifts and of course, pastel de natas. We got there at about 11am, not long after it had opened and it was super quiet. We took a punt and got a burger from ‘Ground Burger’, while there was no queue and thank god we did. While we were eating a huge queue formed and I can’t deny how glad I was not to be in it. It seemed the same for most other places so if you can handle eating early, I would definitely recommend it.

Pretend You’re In Jurassic Park, at Estufa Fria

The covered botanical gardens in Parque Eduardo VII is one of my favourite memories of the trip. We walked through the park and barely saw another soul, then stumbled upon the gardens and also barely saw anyone. It felt a bit like we were walking into an undiscovered part of the city (even though it’s incredibly well known).

We went on a Sunday, so it was free but otherwise it’s still only €3.10 which is well worth it. To be completely honest, I don’t know a lot about plants and flowers so I can’t comment on that but the experience of the visit was an enchanting, welcome break from the comparatively busy streets of Lisbon.

Take A Day Trip To Sintra

Sintra is a town unlike any other I have visited and I personally think it’s definitely worth the trip. There are different ways of getting there ie renting a car, going on a coach trip or taking the train.

We decided to take the train and then use the bus to get around – there is a bus that takes on a circular route that goes to all the different attractions (if you do only want to go around the loop, get the 434 bus and pay for a hop on hop off ticket; they will likely try to get you to buy a day pass but make sure you check what you need first). We went to two castles; Pena and Castelo dos Mouros.

You could walk around the area but it’s very hilly and would take up a lot of your day (in general its all quite hilly so I definitely recommend a comfortable pair of shoes)! We walked between the two castles, only using the bus to get to and from the station/castles.

It was super busy when we were there and it was out of season (though still warm), so be ready for crowds and queues. You’ll need to buy tickets for the castles, though I believe this can be done online in advance if you’re prepared enough (which we weren’t).

Pena is a crazy, colourful castle which is a bit of an influencers dream in terms of backdrops. In fact, you almost can’t take a step without nearly walking into one as their hair whips into you in the wind.

Castelo Dos Mouros is more relaxed but still super cool. It’s up quite a lot of hills but really, really worth it. You can walk up and down the ruins and will get an amazing view from there.

Indulge in your inner (or outer) hipster, at the LX Factory

As my boyfriend lives in East London, I always feel very much at home in a warehouse setting. Yes, everything is always overpriced and some people are so overly cool, you may not know what to say to them, but in general it’s a fun place to visit and something a bit different.

The LX Factory is quite well known now and so frequented by a real mix of people. We saw young families out, as well as, older couples (though of course the places they chose to go in varied a bit).

The area itself holds multiple cafes and restaurants, as well as, bars and a heck of a lot of gift shops. We were on a budget so mostly just walked around rather than sitting down anywhere but it was still enjoyable to window shop and take in what was going on.

I think it could be a great place to grab a book and chill out in a cafe, if you have any downtime. But also, fun to get a few beers and stay until the sun goes down.

Buy Some Tiles

The city itself is covered in beautiful patterned tiles, so why not take some influence from it and take some home with you. I don’t mean in the gift shops, I mean a proper tile shop – we went to Cortico and Netos but there are a lot of other options.

In Cortico and Netos, they generally supply to builders etc but are also happy to sell a few tiles – they have boxes full of them in the middle of the store, which you are welcome to look through and they’re much cheaper than if you bought the same style in the gift shops (most of which have ‘Lisbon’ tackily painted onto them).

We got a bit carried away and bought 4 tiles, with the idea of making a splashback in our flat but of course, you can just buy one or two and use them as coasters, or to put plant pots onto etc.

Where We Stayed

We stayed in the Alfama district, which is the old part of the city. Personally I found it really easy to get wherever we needed to from there and it was also very pretty. The nearby restaurants were charming and there were lots of bars nearby to keep us occupied.

We booked an apartment on booking.com called ‘Alfama’s Nest‘. It was small but perfectly formed with everything we needed. The host was lovely and I really would highly recommend staying there, especially for the price. My only comment would be that there are quite a few steep stairs (this didn’t bother us but it would definitely be a struggle if you had small children etc).

How We Got Around

We flew from London but once there, mostly walked – yes it’s a hilly city but it’s not too hard to get about. Plus, you get the best experience that way, as you’ll never know what you might find!

As well as walking, we tended to get ubers – a friend mentioned to me before visiting how cheap they were and they weren’t lying. We got a few ubers to the furthest distance away and then walked back, which saved us a lot of money and meant we could take in a few sights.

Of course, there are also the trams but to be completely honest, we never managed to make it onto one in Lisbon! We tried to get the most well known tourist tram but it was so busy we couldn’t physically get on it. Instead, we got trams in Porto – our next stop, and my next blog post topic…

Abi

@travelteatv

8 Things Not To Miss in Lisbon, Portugal I didn't really know what to expect with Lisbon. I'd seen the pictures of beautiful streets and rooftop bars but still wasn't sure of the overall vibe of the city.

#alfama cellar #atirate ao rio #city break #copenhagen coffee lab #estufa fria #lisboa #lisbon #lx factory #PORTUGAL #portugese tiles #santa justa lift #sintra #time out market #Travel #weekend wandering

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bangkokjacknews · 5 years ago

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Retired flight attendant reveals ALL

My mile high mayhem! A retired #flightattendant in the Eighties reveals how she saw it all - so fasten your seatbelts for a rollicking ride...

For a measure of how politically incorrect the Eighties were, you need look no further than the name of the Mayfair nightspot owned by footballing legend George Best. He called it Blondes. Whatever your views on that, there was no doubting that it was a fun place to be, as this blonde discovered on her first trip to London with South African Airways. A fellow stewardess knew some of George's friends and one evening they sent a silver Bentley to our Kensington hotel to whisk us to his club. We drank copious amounts of pink champagne that night, but George and our other hosts behaved like complete gentlemen throughout, which is more than can be said for many of the pilots I worked alongside in those days. Back then, 'pre-flight checks' often involved the captain scouting out pretty passengers as they arrived at the foot of the aircraft stairs. 'There's a young lady with a high, blonde ponytail and a red dress who's just boarded,' he'd tell the cabin manager. 'Ask her if she'd like to sit in the cockpit for take-off.' You couldn't get away with that now, and not just because the cockpit doors are kept locked. Just as society's attitudes have changed, so too has what's expected of airline staff. Today, there's outrage if a passenger has one gin and tonic too many. But in my day it was the cabin crew you had to worry about. One fellow attendant got so drunk that he exited the plane before the stairs had been put in place and stepped out into thin air, fell 12ft to the ground and lay there in a crumpled heap until an ambulance arrived. He was fired before he even left hospital. Another big difference between then and now, of course, is that passengers were allowed to smoke. This caused great difficulties when chain-smokers were put into non-smoking seats on long-haul trips. Once, when I tried to stop a disgruntled passenger sneaking into the loo for a quick puff, he offered to put his cigarette out in my eye. I joined South African Airways in 1983, when I was 22, and was with them for ten years. Although I've since had a successful career in event management and am now married with two grown-up children, I look back fondly on that era, when passengers wore suits, hanky-panky abounded and stewardesses needed nerves which, like the cutlery, were made of steel. Lust is in the air

Gretchen joined South African Airways in 1983, when she was 22, and was with the airline for ten years Before every trip, we were weighed to ensure we could squeeze into our tight-fitting pencil skirts. We were also scrutinised by a 'check hostess' who insisted on chignons pulled tight enough to make us the envy of today's Botox brigade, plus so much make-up that I usually resembled one of the more exotic African lizards. Even then, we were often outdone by the passengers. People still dressed up to fly back then and, in those days, before the striptease acts now enforced at security, the only passengers removing their clothes were volunteers for the Mile High Club. My first experience of dealing with those who became amorous at altitude came on a night flight to Lisbon. We called business and upper-class passengers the 'Haves' and 'Have Yachts' and the couple concerned were a man and woman in the 'Haves'. They began the flight as strangers, sitting in different seats and keeping themselves to themselves, but numerous drinks later they were leaving little to the imagination. Their lovemaking only came to an end when my colleague Pieter shook the woman concerned by the legs and she sat up, her hair wild and her clothes dishevelled. 'Would you like something to drink?' he asked pointedly, with three of us lined up behind him and peering at her. A royal emergency

Gretchen said she used to wear so much make-up that she 'usually resembled one of the more exotic African lizards' London was always my favourite destination, despite the nail-biting occasion when we encountered a technical problem after take-off from Heathrow. We needed to return to the airport pronto, but the plane's full tank of fuel made it too heavy to land safely and air traffic control responded unhelpfully to our request to dump any, given our location right above Windsor Castle. 'Permission denied. The Queen is currently in residence.' The pilot wasted no time: 'Ask the lady if she would like just the fuel, or if she would prefer the whole damn plane.' 'Permission granted. Over.' Such problems were highly unusual, but I had my share of alarmingly heavy landings. Once, when a co-pilot's first landing saw us slamming into the Tarmac at an airport in South Africa at such a rate that every single oxygen mask dropped out of the panels above the passengers' heads, I wasn't sure whether we'd landed or been shot down. The captain's attempts to calm everyone's nerves weren't terribly helpful, either. 'Ladies and gentlemen, any landing you can walk away from is a good landing,' he announced over the PA. Trade secrets No one flies halfway around the world for a cup of cocoa and an early night, and on our trips away from home we often rounded off a long evening's drinking by decamping to someone's hotel bedroom for an aeronautical version of strip poker. Called 'Feathers', this involved forming a circle around a bedsheet, pulled taut by everyone's hands, and placing on it a feather taken from a pillow. Everyone started blowing furiously and whoever the feather fluttered closest to was required to take off an item of clothing. I was something of a lightweight when it came to drinking, but some of my colleagues appeared to believe that a balanced diet consisted of a bottle of wine in each hand.

Flying visit: Gretchen seen mingling with locals after touching down in Mauritius As for inebriated passengers, to 'Rhoda' somebody was airline parlance for popping a quarter of a sleeping tablet into the drink of an unsuspecting drunk and disorderly passenger — I have no idea where the term came from. At other times we just went for revenge. One man irritated me even before take-off, constantly interrupting the safety demonstration to ask for drinks. By the end of the flight, he'd pushed the call button so often that we resorted to a tactic then employed by many airline crews around the world. This involved the captain radioing ahead to the airport, warning of a 'suspicious' passenger and adding that it might be worth subjecting him to an intimate body search on his way through customs. Cockpit Casanova On my maiden flight, out of Johannesburg, the captain told me, in full hearing of his co-pilot, that I was the first pregnant air hostess he'd ever flown to Cape Town. 'But Captain,' I spluttered, 'I'm not pregnant!' He raised his eyebrows suggestively, gave me a lascivious grin and said: 'Ah, but we're not in Cape Town yet.' I fled from that cockpit faster than it took a pilot to remove his wedding ring, but not quickly enough to miss the gruff laughter that followed. I should have learned my lesson, but I went weak at the knees when the captain on another flight winked at me as I brought him and the rest of his crew cups of tea.

Gretchen (pictured today) is the author of Secrets Of A Stewardess: Flying The World In The 1980s I'd dreamt of marrying a pilot, so perhaps this was my intended. 'Gretchen,' he said, his sunburnt laughter lines crinkling slightly around his steel-grey eyes. 'I bet you 100 rand that I can touch your boobs without you feeling it.' That was only about £5, but of course the money was irrelevant. What mattered was that the man who might be my future husband was flirting with me, so I played along and closed my eyes, only to feel him vigorously fondling my breasts. 'Hey, I felt that!' I screeched, pulling backwards and almost flinging myself right through the cockpit door. 'OK, you win. Here's your 100 rand,' he said, pretending to reach for his wallet. So much for romance with a flying ace. - mailonline Gretchen Ryan is the author of Secrets Of A Stewardess: Flying The World In The 1980s, out now (The History Press, £9.99). – You can follow BangkokJack on Instagram, Twitter & Reddit. Or join the free mailing list (top right) Please help us continue to bring the REAL NEWS - PayPal Read the full article

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diogomlacerda · 7 years ago

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Summer Shenanigans

Summertime has always been my favourite time of the year! In Portugal, I find everything I need: endless beach days, endless nights and of course – amazing experiences at music festivals. After my first year of university that went amazingly well, I was ready to go back home to be with my friends and family and enjoy our time together.

My parents always took me to music events since an early age even though they’re not that much into music as I am. I always loved the energy that exists in concerts, especially in festivals, and I always wondered how it should be to put one of these together. This summer though, and very unfortunately, it wasn’t the time to find out either! Not that I didn’t I try!

I got some interviews with the biggest concert promoters in my country, but unfortunately it didn’t work out for various reasons, sometimes it was that I would come back from England too late to start working (Since festivals are normally from May until July), or they didn’t had more internship vacancies. Even when I was working at the International Live Music Conference, an event in London last February, I found some people that interviewed me for placements and I found out there that they wanted me to work with them, but unfortunately when we looked at the dates it was impossible. I was quite sad about this but it’s still good that I made the right contacts and that I put myself out there. Now that they know who I am and know that I am interested to work with them, I am ready to start trying again for next summer!

With all these opportunities disappearing in front of me, I realised that this summer I would do again what I know and what I love the most, enjoy the festivals as being part of the audience and not as a part of the team.

The first artist I saw live this summer – this may sound weird – but it was Ariana Grande! Aahaha! My friend got free tickets with open bar access, so he invited me on the day to go, and obviously my immediate thought was: Free booze and music from the voice of the beautiful Ariana, what else do you want for a Sunday night?

Obviously, the audience was mainly young teenagers and screaming girls, but I found myself surprised by the amount of songs that I knew! The concert was the first one she did after the ones she had to cancel after the Manchester attack. She sang the tribute song “Over the Rainbow” but other than that she didn’t talk with the audience and the show was very monitored, looking very unemotional and like she could be in any other city, instead of making the show a little different and making the fans feel special. Anyways, I wasn’t expecting that much so it I didn’t leave disappointed.

After this, the next festival I had in sight was the one I had the interview for, it was NOS Alive: the coolest, most fun festival in Portugal and in Europe! I’ve attended this festival a few times, and have seen amazing acts there: Arcade Fire, Depeche Mode, Mumford and Sons, Sam Smith, Green day, Tame Impala, Foals, Two door cinema club, the list is endless! It is amazing how they always manage to get my favourite acts to perform there, so this year wasn’t any different.

The festival is usually three days, but this year I only attended two of them because the second day didn’t interest me that much. It felt like they decided to put the best acts all in the same night, (at least in my opinion) which meant I had to make choices and sacrifice some bands!

I arrived there in the afternoon late for the first band I wanted to see: Alt J!!! I had already seen them in past years but they are one of my favourite bands. They were promoting they’re new album, but they didn’t play many songs from it which was weird and kind of disappointing. I know if it was because the show was during daylight, or what it was but it they’re other show a few years back was much more epic and mysterious! This one felt very “weak” and indifferent! Anyways, I am ready to see them perform again in Lisbon for an arena show in January, hoping that they perform the new album like it deserves. The second show of the night was Blossoms, which was the one I choose to see over Phoenix! They were great, but the show was very empty in terms of audience, it seemed like the Portuguese haven’t yet found out about this amazing band, so this made the show look a bit dead.

After this, it was time for the incredible and my all-time favourite band, The XX! I love they’re new album as well as they’re old stuff, and I had never seen them live so I was very excited for this one. The concert didn’t disappoint, and it was one of my favourites this summer. Jamie XX beats with the voices of Oliver and Romy is something everyone should experience in their lives. Although some of their new stuff is more electronic, they seemed so genuine happy and thankful to be performing in Portugal, which always has a good impact in the audience. And the way they complemented they’re sounds with the creative visuals on stage made it even better!

After The XX, it was time for the commercial hit maker The Weeknd. His concert was everything I expected, jumping around and singing all his hits whilst fireworks were in the air. It was very fun and he had the show well put up, always speaking with the audience and turning the festival site into a huge party! But the biggest party for myself was yet to come.

At 3:00 am, I was still hyped to see Glass Animals, one of my favourite new acts from this year, and it sure didn’t disappoint. The show wasn’t on the main stage and I think because it was that late it only brought people that actually wanted to be there or people that were too drunk so they just wanted to party. It made the vibe of the show incredible with everyone dancing while pineapples were thrown in the air!

After this epic night, it was time to go home and get some rest before the next day of party started. At the second night of the festival, it was time to see some bands that I didn’t enjoy as much as I did in the first night, but that doenst mean I couldn’t have a good time. The fist band was Kodaline which was ok, and the second was Imagine Dragons, that surprised me a lot! I knew a few of they’re songs because they play whole the time on the radio, but the vibe of the band and the speeches the vocalist made added some “personality” to their commercial songs, and therefore more meaningful and enjoyable.

After accidentally skipping Fleet Foxes, one of my favourite bands and being very annoyed about it, I went to see a band that I had heard about but didn’t really knew: Cage the Elephant! This was probably the best discovery of the whole summer. The energy of Matt Shultz while singing they’re American rock anthems made me enjoy the whole show even without knowning the songs!!

In the middle of July I went to another festival that I had also an interview with, Super Bock Super Rock! This festival is held in Lisbon’s biggest concert arena where the biggest concerts are at, so it doesn’t really have that good summer vibe that I enjoy in festivals. Before it was held in this site, it woust to be in the middle of the fields near a beach outside Lisbon. The environment there was totally different, and I was lucky enough to go there twice, one to see Lana Del Rey with my mother and another one to see Azealia Banks! In this same festival last year, I saw Kendrick Lamar which was amazing, and this time I went to see Pearl Jam, a band that hadn´t perform in Portugal for 17 years. So everyone was crazy about it!! It was my friend’s birthday so she got me tickets and that’s why I went, because I am not that into them, at least before the concert. I was surprised by the amount of songs I knew and I now get why they are such a big band, on top of having incredibly good and catchy songs, it was one of the most fun concerts I’ve been to this summer! After this it was time to see good DJ’s perform all night!

The third and last festival I attended is called Sudoeste. This one was outside Lisbon, in Portugal’s west coast of Alentejo, a beautiful area full of beaches to go during the day. For this festival, it was the first one I camped at! I’m not into camping, so that part wasn’t so great because me and my friends just wanted to enjoy the concerts and not worry about logistics and having to drink warm beer wasn’t so good. The things you do to save some money!

I only went because there were a lot of acts that I wanted to see such as Crystal Fighters, Two Door Cinema Club and Mac Miller. The firsts two are one of my favourite bands (I know I have a lot of favourite bands) The festival overall was good, I had a great time, mainly because we could go to incredible beaches during the day and because a lot of my friends went so it was fun. The festival itself wasn’t really my style, mainly because of the people who were attending! The festival runs for a lot of years now and it was more a rap, hip hop and electronic dedicated festival, except for this year that they were trying to turn it into something more different and bring other acts, such as the ones I wanted to see. Because of this, the audience wasn’t really interested in Crystal Fighters and Two Door Cinema Club, and both of them were the first bands to perform of the night, which made the crowd a lot dead and the overall energy of the concerts somehow boring. I was a bit disappointed when comparing to previous concerts of the same bands in other places, which were 100x more fun! Anyway, the bands themselves were amazing like always, and I still enjoyed them, even though I seemed like the only one. One night after Crystal Fighters I saw Dua Lipa, a british singer that made waves this year with her new self-entitled album. I was surprised by this act because she had an amazing voice and from what I heard from her before it was all too commercial and fabricated-for-the-radio songs for me, but has soon as I listened to her live and saw her perform she added so much personality to the songs that they didn’t seem so meaningless! She even made me believe that she wrote all of her songs alone for. I’m not even talking about her being beautiful and cool, but she gained a fan that night for sure. What happened after all the acts I wanted to see perform, was that a DJ came to stage and play terrible electronic music that is not my style, it’s just tiring and it doesn’t have any art or interest into it, in my opinion. Not that every song needs to have a deep meaning obviously, but I don’t find that sound interesting!

After attending three different type of festivals, I can see now that what I find important in concerts is the energy of the crowd, and if the artist is in anyway real, has a personality and is somehow grateful for being there playing. This are the things that I enjoy the most when seeing someone perform, apart from the music that is being played.

Next year I hope I have the opportunity to finally work at some of these festivals, because sometimes even though I was enjoying my time, I was thinking in the back of my mind if I didn’t had more fun working at some of these instead.

Music was not only in my summer through festivals! In September I went to Bali, Indonesia, and I got an Ukelele, which I am having lots of fun learning how to play! Already have my next instrument that I want to learn on sight: the piano! And some festivals that I want to go to next summer as well, some in the UK (Even though there’s no Glastonbury next year) and in Portugal, like Boom Festival on sight.

Make sure you keep following my blog, because I just started my second year of university and hopefully will have lots of news and accomplishments to share here! Until next time, Diogo!

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toldnews-blog · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/technology/entertainment/madonna-gives-emotional-speech-at-glaad-awards/

Madonna gives emotional speech at GLAAD Awards

Madonna, a pioneer for gay rights, accepted the Advocate for Change Award at the 2019 GLAAD Media Awards with a rousing speech that went from playful to emotional, bringing the audience to its feet.

The 60-year-old pop icon turned heads as she walked to her table at the Hilton Midtown in New York on Saturday night, before taking the stage to celebrate her three decades of advocacy work in the LGBTQ community.

“Why have I always fought for change? That’s a hard question to answer. It’s like trying to explain the importance of reading or the need to love. Growing up I always felt like an outsider, like I didn’t fit in. It wasn’t because I didn’t shave under my armpits, I just didn’t fit in, OK,” she said. “The first gay man I ever met was named Christopher Flynn. He was my ballet teacher in high school and he was the first person that believed in me, that made me feel special as a dancer, as an artist and as a human being. I know this sounds trivial and superficial, but he was the first man to tell me I was beautiful.”

Madonna went on to say Flynn took her to her first gay club in Detroit, and that the evening changed her life.

“For the first time I saw men kissing men, girls dressed like boys, boys wearing hot pants, insane, incredible dancing and a kind of freedom and joy and happiness that I had never seen before,” she said. “I finally felt like I was not alone, that it was OK to be different and to not be like everybody else. And that after all, I was not a freak. I felt at home, and it gave me hope.”

Madonna also said Flynn pushed her to leave Michigan and go to New York to pursue her dreams. And when she arrived in the Big Apple in 1977, she was in awe with all New York had to offer — diversity, creativity — but she also learned about the AIDS epidemic.

“The plague that moved in like a black cloud over New York City and in a blink of an eye,” she said and snapped her fingers, “took out all of my friends.”

“After I lost my best friend and roommate Martin Burgoyne and then Keith Haring — happy birthday Keith — I decided to take up the bull horn and really fight back,” she added.

Madonna, teary-eyed from her seat, received the award from Anderson Cooper, Mykki Blanco and Rosie O’Donnell, who gave a powerful speech about how Madonna helped her become more comfortable in her own skin.

“So here I was — VG, very gay — dating a man and I went to Madonna for advice,” said O’Donnell, who co-starred in 1992’s “A League of Their Own” with the singer. “I was questioning and unsure, my gay life was blossoming but I didn’t quite know what to do. And she told me, ‘Rosie, just follow your heart’ — advice I still follow to this day.”

The multi-hour GLAAD event also gave awards to Andy Cohen, the FX series “Pose” and “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story,” Samantha Bee, the film “Boy Erased,” CNN’s Don Lemon and R&B singer Janelle Monae. The event will air on Logo on May 12.

Despite winning seven Grammys, two Golden Globes and countless other honors, Madonna said getting GLAAD’s Advocate for Change Award has a special place in her heart.

“Because it’s recognition of years and years of work that I’ve done over three decades. It’s not anything superficial,” Madonna said in an interview with The Associated Press after receiving her honor. “It means something to me because I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into all the work that I’ve done over the years advocating for change.”

Madonna will release her 14th album, “Madame X,” on June 14. It was inspired from living in Lisbon, Portugal, for the last few years and includes collaborations with Colombian singer Maluma, Migos rapper Quavo, Brazilian singer Anitta, and singer-rapper-songwriter Swae Lee of the duo Rae Sremmurd.

The album also features the track “Batuka,” co-written by Madonna’s 13-year-old son, David Banda.

“That was a family affair — the call and response song,” Madonna said. “(David) likes to take more of the credit than the rest of my children. It’s always fun to work with my kids, especially David.”

#Arts and entertainment #Celebrity #Entertainment #entertainment news atlanta #entertainment news avengers #entertainment news naija #entertainment news now #entertainment news usa #entertainmentdesign #Gay rights #Gays and lesbians #General News #Human rights and civil liberties #Music #Rosie O #Social affairs #Social issues

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togreeceandbeyond · 7 years ago

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June 13

We left Seville early in the morning with heavy hearts because we thoroughly enjoyed our few days in Seville, met some very interesting people and saw some extraordinary sights. Nonetheless we headed directly to the southern portion of Portugal called the Algarve region. Our guidebook says there's a town called Faro which is the capital of the Algarve region but many tourist bypass it. We decided to go into town and check it out. We found a parking place about 100 m from one of the arches of the old walled city, paid for a two hour time slot and set off to see the city. The arch in the section of the old wall that we saw was very impressive. We then decided to wander inside the old town which is not very well maintained and looks pretty worn so we weren't surprised in the end that many tourists bypass it. We walked along the seawall and went into a big parking lot that seemed to be very busy. Since we were not sure why, so we decided to head on down the road. When we crossed the border we were asked to present a credit card for the tolls we would be encountering on the way to Lisbon. I put my card in and I was told everything was fine. We left and we went through several tag reading stations but we have yet to see any tolls on my credit card 3 days later. I need to check with the post office to see if I'm in violation. I shouldn't be, but I believe I threw away the receipt I received after putting a credit card into the system. We headed to Lisbon and had found several possible hotels before we left Spain. We stopped outside Lisbon and called the hotel that we thought was very nice to check the prices. The direct booking prices were at least $35 per night higher than Orbitz so we booked on Orbitz on the side of the road 30 minutes out of Lisbon. GPS took us right to the hotel and while I was checking in, I asked where the parking garage was. The clerk said it's just beside the hotel 100 feet from where I was parked. She said you have to go around the block and come into the parking garage. That seemed like a lot of trouble to me, so I waited for the traffic to get slow and backed up 100 feet on the one way street. I parked and went up to the hotel desk. She said oh, that was fast. I said yes, I backed up and pulled into the garage. She laughed and said that's one way to do it, but sometimes the cops are standing there watching. Apparently the gods were with me and we had no problem. The Vincci Liberdade is a very nice hotel 200m from a metro stop and within a mile or so of some of the good sites of Lisbon. We went walking that evening looking for a place to eat but a couple of good places didn't open until at least 7 and some later than that. We picked a hotel on a side street and ask for carbonara but the waitress said it wasn't enough for two people so we had a pizza. Later a couple came in and ordered carbonara and spaghetti Bolognese. The bowls were humongous and we could have easily shared the carbonara. Oh well, the pizza was awful and the crust was about as thick as four sheets of paper. From now on we will order what we want and go on from there. We soldiered on and got back to the hotel rather late.

On the 14th we got up a little early and wished Concetta happy birthday, before heading out to see the large castle that dominates the bluff in Lisbon. I have to say that Lisbon is one of the least walker friendly cities we have ever visited. The cobblestone streets are sometimes slick and are always uneven and bumpy. The trees are allowed to grow as they will and the roots of the trees cause problems because they distort the cobblestones and make a very uneven surface. Don't get me started on maps. I have two maps and neither of them is good enough to find our way around because none of the smaller streets are marked. The streets in general are in a hodgepodge of directions with dead ends and construction. That being said, the people are as advertised, helpful and happy. Most of all of them speak English and are happy to do so. June 15 We met for coffee at 1500 hours with the German lady and her husband who we had met in Madrid. We drove to their hometown to see the lot where they are building a house from recycled shipping containers. After having only 20 minutes of meeting at breakfast in Madrid, you never know what will happen, but it was like we had known each other for years. Her husband Stefan is very interesting as is Ursula. He is a house husband and Ursula works full-time as a teacher. Stefan and I had a lot to say about building a house. He also bakes all the bread because the children do not like the Portuguese bread. Now he makes real German bread for his children. After coffee, we took a walk around the beach and discussed politics, the US coming out of the Paris Climate Accord and how we felt about it. I explained that other people will take up the slack and America will continue to innovate and make energy efficient projects. I also explained what hardly anyone in Europe knows is that it was an illegal agreement signed by our president without the approval of Congress. And they had no idea that it was not a proper agreement. They were OK after they got a rational explanation. We talked a lot about the energy-savings and environmentally friendly ways they are building their house. We explained how our house is built and they were very happy about that. Ursula had Googled my name and found the Channel 6 video about our house and was excited about the kitchen. Their house is also centered around the kitchen. The family cooks together and spend a lot of time in the kitchen. They didn't make the kitchen a separate room like in many German and American houses. We spent almost 3 hours together and had so much fun. I told Stefan he reminded me so much of my friend Freddy who was my adopted German brother. Freddy was stung by bee in June of 2003 and did not know he had become allergic to bee stings. Tragically Freddy went into anaphylactic shock and died quickly. I think Stefan was pleased that had thought of my German brother when I met him. June 16 We took our time getting up and about on the 16th and took a walk to the famous “tram 28” that took us on a tour of Lisbon. Since we got to the bus stop late, there was about an hour wait to get on the tram. I'm not fond of waiting in lines but we met a nice British couple, Richard and Anne, who visited with us for awhile but eventually left to walk to where they wanted to go. I gave him one of our cards and I hope we keep in touch. We finally got on the famous tram 28 that the tour book guy says you cannot miss if you come to Lisbon. Well, we're here to tell you, don't do it! It's not a waste of money because it costs so little. It is a waste of time because you can’t see the city contrary to popular belief. You really can't see anything unless you're at the rear of the tram and then you can only see things as you're driving away from them. We did meet a couple in line from Italy about 50 miles north of Venice. Philipe (sp) and Marta spoke English and we had a very good time talking to them. She is a graphic designer and he is a trainer with the Volkswagen company in Italy. We promise to keep in touch and they have one of my business cards as well. She gave me her Facebook page and we’ll connect that way. We rode to the end of the line, ate our lunch in an old Cemetery and decided it was too damn hot to do anything else so we found our way back to the hotel by walking, city bus and the underground. Now we're off to dinner and await the next adventure tomorrow when we will meet Stephanie and Nuno at a restaurant not far from the hotel for a authentic Portuguese dinner.

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bromfieldhall · 8 years ago

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What Makes You Beautiful - A Mentalist Fanfiction

TIMELINE: Set some in the future after series four finale. Minor spoilers.

SYNOPSIS: “Yesterday I made a New Year’s resolution. I’m going to give myself one whole year to woo and win the love of California Bureau of Investigation’s Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon.”

PAIRING: Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

CHAPTER 7

"Everyone else in the room can see it, Everyone else but you"

~ What Makes You Beautiful ~ 1D

July 14th – 11.25am

It's a long drive from Sacramento to Malibu.

Especially in my Citroen. It's not built for fast speeds for extended periods of time. I love my car but there are times like these that I wish I had a newer one.

It's been a while since I last made the trip and I'd forgotten just how tedious the journey can be without someone to talk to. When I say someone, I mean Lisbon of course. Who else is there?

She's the reason I'm here. Back at my house. I'm not running away, although I can see how it could look like that. I was just made aware that I still had some demons to put to rest once and for all.

It's been an odd couple of days. I've always prided myself on being able to control my emotions. I'll even go so far as to say that I can discard the fruitless one's at will. The kinds of emotions that don't really help you in any way but merely hinder and drain you. Like jealousy. That's a really pointless emotion. It doesn't get you anywhere and in extreme cases you can even hurt the one you love through your own stupid, childish behaviour.

Like I have.

It all started two days ago when a delicate case involving high profile philanthropist, Abigail Grant, was handed over to us. She's an acquaintance of Bertram's so he wanted it dealt with quickly and quietly.

Quick I can do. Quiet? I'm hardly the poster boy for keeping things low key but if he was willing to take the chance, what the hell.

It was all to do with some priceless jewels that she'd had stolen. I worked it out pretty fast that the perpetrator was likely to be a man called Marcus Greening and the culmination of our investigation is going to happen tomorrow tonight all being well.

During our enquiries, however, a link had been found to Walter Mashburn and naturally we had to follow it up.

I was pleased to see him…at first. It's been a while and if it hadn't been for his interest in Lisbon in the past, I might have been more inclined to pursue a proper friendship.

"Patrick, it's good to see you again," he'd greeted with a smile and an enthusiastic shake of my hand.

"Walter," I'd acknowledged with a nod.

He'd turned his attention to Lisbon and I'd tensed as alarm bells started ringing in my head. His smile had softened slightly and he'd clasped one of her hands in both of his. It was an oddly intimate gesture that I wasn't entirely happy with and although I didn't realise it at the time, the first little insidious seed of jealousy was sown.

"Teresa, how have you been?" he'd asked in a low voice that really, really irritated me.

She's been with me I wanted to tell him. Well, not with me per se, but I'm working on it.

"I've been good, thanks," she'd replied a little stiltedly. She'd given me a glance reminiscent of when she'd had that dream about me then extricated her hand from Walter's no doubt sweaty grasp. "You?"

Obviously that had been an invitation to tell us every little thing that had happened to him in the past few years and he'd taken the seat next to Lisbon, sitting just that little bit closer than necessary.

As I'd listened to him talk, I noticed the way he directed everything to her, his smiles, his explanations. The familiar way he casually touched her arm or leg. It soon became blatantly obvious to me not only that the interest he'd shown in Lisbon the last time we'd crossed paths hadn't really abated, but that they had been intimate in the past too.

Not that Lisbon seemed to reciprocate at all. She was professional as ever. But that didn't stop my jealousy sprouting.

I'm honestly not bothered by any of Lisbon's other former dalliances. She's an adult for heaven's sake, there are going to be men in her past and I'm hardly one to criticise considering my own choice of bed-mate. But knowing she'd been with Walter and watching him turning on the charm right in front of me…just really pissed me off.

Don't get me wrong, I like Walter. He's a great guy. But for a few minutes there, a man I used to consider a friend of sorts was now the competition. And a strong one at that. He is everything Lisbon could want from a man and although it pains me to admit, albeit to myself, he's the kind of man she deserves as well.

All that wealth, good looks, charm and, most importantly, no baggage…he's perfect. Really.

And it suddenly got me wondering what I truly had to offer Lisbon that wasn't in some way detrimental to her life. I came up empty. It was a sobering realisation.

If I'm honest, I gave up the fight there and then before I'd even tried. I'm not proud of myself. Perhaps if I'd been more secure in her feelings for me, I would've felt differently. A few kisses hardly means she's in love with me. I mean look at Walter; she slept with him.

In hindsight, I should've just got up and walked out there and then. But no, not me. Years of putting myself into a situation where I could torture myself about it afterwards was a hard habit to break…and obviously I needed a fix.

Our 'interview' with Walter finally came to and end and we said our goodbyes then headed out to the SUV. I could tell she wasn't quite sure of my mood and to be frank, neither was I. My emotions seemed to be getting a little out of my control by then. I was swinging between feeling resentful of Walter having shared an intimacy with Lisbon that I never have and being angry with myself for not being the kind of man I think she deserves.

Naturally, me being me, I verbally took it all out on Lisbon with snippy little replies and jealous fuelled innuendo's so that by the time we reached the CBI she wasn't talking to me anymore. I regretted it immediately but offered no apology.

Not my finest hour by any means. I'm having a few of those lately.

We spent the rest of the day avoiding each other then this afternoon Walter came by the office to propose a plan. He'd wangled an invite to a party Greening was having and there was a good chance that the gems, amongst other things, would be available to the highest bidder. We were all in the bullpen when Lisbon came out and told us about the party and she'd said that Van Pelt should go along with Walter.

I'm not quite sure whose face was most disappointed. Walter's or Rigsby's. Anyway, I decided to play devil's advocate and suggested she go herself…being the team leader and all. I'd then added that considering their obvious history together, they'd make a more believable couple.

You could've heard a pin drop in the silence that followed.

I guess a warped part of me wanted her to deny everything. To prove to me I was wrong about my supposition…but she didn't. She just gave me one of those 'you hurt me but I'm damned if I'll let it show' looks that I'd come to hate so much during the Lorelei days. I felt like such a bastard.

I'd broken eye contact and sipped at my tea, my heart sinking as she announced that she would indeed accompany Walter instead. I didn't look at her again, I couldn't. I'd just sat and feigned interest in my drink until she and Walter went back to her office.

"Public humiliation…that'll win the girl every time," Cho had suddenly said wryly from right by my side.

I'd looked up in at him in surprise. He was sat on the arm of my couch, arms folded, and as I gazed around the rest of the bullpen Rigsby and Grace stared back at me from their desks, sporting faintly accusing expressions. It'd seemed pointless to deny what they'd apparently already guessed.

"I was never under any illusion that my methods were perfect," I'd admitted with a shrug.

"Good. They're not," Cho had concurred brusquely. "You're an idiot."

I very much doubt truer words had ever come out of the stoic Agents' mouth.

"Yeah, what's your problem? You were practically pushing the boss at him," Rigsby had piped up.

"No problem, I just think they make better sense," I'd answered as impassively as I could muster.

"I don't believe you," Grace had countered bluntly with a shake of her head. "That night Rigsby and I had dinner with you two we could see there was more to it than the just you paying out for that flimsy excuse of an auction."

"You all had dinner together?" Cho had asked, somewhat put out. "Without me?"

"It's a long story, Cho. If it makes you feel any better, I'll treat you to dinner next week, OK?" I'd offered hoping to steer the conversation away from Lisbon and my obvious failings.

"OK," he'd answered. "But you're still an idiot. If you're not careful you'll lose her."

With that he'd gone back to his desk and Rigsby and Grace went back to work.

It was nice of them to try and hold an intervention…however poor. Still, although I understand Cho's concerns, I can't actually lose what I've never really had. Can I?

Not long after that, Walter had emerged from Lisbon's office and come back to the bullpen to say goodbye. The team murmured out a few grunts in reply and then he'd stared at me and held up his phone before giving me a quick nod.

I'd watched him go then heard my own phone chirp as a new text came in. I'd checked it out and saw that he wanted to meet up an hour later. My interest had been piqued and so I'd dutifully done as he'd asked and met him at a small coffee shop around the corner from the CBI.

We'd indulged in idle chit-chat while awaiting our drinks but once they'd been brought to our table, he'd got straight to the point.

"How long have you and Teresa been together?" he'd asked curiously.

I have to admit that I was surprised at his astuteness. I could understand the team having an inkling there was something evolving between us…we worked with them every day. But, Walter? Really?

"We're not," I'd refuted lightly. Not officially, anyway. There's still so much left unsaid between us.

"You won't be if you keep pulling stunts like that one today," he'd pointed out blithely. "She was upset."

"Meh, that's standard behaviour for Lisbon. I would've thought, given your past, you would know that," I'd goaded, forcing a small smile.

I knew I'd hurt her, I didn't appreciate the reminder.

Walter had merely chuckled and shaken his head.

"It was one night, Patrick. Teresa wasn't interested in anything more…although I did try," he'd admitted wryly.

"I'll bet that was a blow to your ego," I'd said mildly, secretly pleased that Lisbon had been the one who'd chosen not to continue their acquaintance.

"She is quite a woman," he'd commented a little wistfully.

"Yes, she is," I'd agreed softly, no doubt sporting my own dreamy expression.

His gaze had sharpened on me and he took a sip of his coffee before leaning back in his chair and staring at me in contemplation. I saw his eyes drop down to my left hand then back up to my face.

"I'm glad you got Red John finally," he'd said with a small smile. "How long has it been now?"

"Eleven months," I'd replied automatically, wondering at the sudden change of topic.

He'd nodded and grinned ruefully.

"I bet you can tell me the days, hours and even the minutes too?" he'd ventured quietly.

I'd felt my jaw tighten at the faintly accusing tone I could hear seeping through. I did know as a matter of fact but I wasn't about to tell him that.

He studied my face and let out a heavy sigh.

"I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through, but surely his death has given you some kind of closure? Some peace finally? Enough that you can at least start moving on with your life again, no?"

"I am," I'd said flatly.

He looked pointedly at my hand again then queried dubiously, "Really, Patrick? Because it doesn't look like it from where I'm sat."

"Maybe you'd better view it from some place else then," I'd retorted, my irritation at his comments beginning to show.

"OK, OK, I'll back off," he'd said, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I was just trying to offer some friendly advice that's all. I like you and I like Teresa but you two won't get anywhere until you've dealt with your past, Patrick. You're still clinging on…how do you think that makes her feel seeing you still wearing your wedding ring after all this time?"

I hadn't actually given it any thought. I'd clenched my hand and moved it off the table to rest upon my thigh. My wedding band suddenly felt heavy on my finger, the weight of my residual guilt for my family dragging it down. I'd imagined myself to have put everything behind me but in those few moments it became frighteningly clear to me that I hadn't. At all. They were simply on the back burner waiting to be addressed while I happily convinced myself I'd 'moved on.' It was a hard thing to process all at once and I determinedly pushed it aside to ruminate on later.

"I thought you said you were going to back off," I'd reproached, but I know my tone had no real bite to it.

Walter had smiled benignly then nodded and leaned forward conspiratorially.

"I've just bought a new Bugatti," he'd revealed with a grin. "Want to take it for a spin?"

I'd smiled back at his obvious ploy and nodded my assent. By the time we'd parted company later that evening, we were friends…of sorts…again. I'm glad about that.

I'd gone back to my motel room and looked around the sparse furnishings as if seeing them for the first time. Was this the extent of all I could offer a woman like Lisbon? An old tea maker, a hard bed and a rickety little table and chair? Or was it the alternative? A beat up old couch and a musty attic in a government building.

When I stopped to think about it, it was a toss up as to which one was more pathetic. And I also wondered why I hadn't yet bothered to do anything about it. Why after all these months, even though Red John was gone, was I still living exactly the same way as before? Still punishing myself. Still letting him win…

Was this really what my existence had come down to? Living in limbo where I'm still, as Walter said, clinging on to the past? Using it like some kind of anchor because I'm too damn scared to cut the rope and just go with the flow of life again?

It began to dawn on me then that all this 'baby steps' rubbish I'd been spouting to myself in regards to pursuing Lisbon wasn't about her at all…it was about me. About my fears of not only loving someone but actually having them love me back and all that it entails. About having a home…maybe even a family again one day. Was I really, truly ready for that?

As my mind wandered to Lisbon I couldn't help but smile and I found that the answer came swiftly and easily.

Yes. I was ready.

Once I'd acknowledged that fact, I'd made the decision there and then that things would have to change. If I wanted to move on with my life, I had to cut that damn rope and start actually building a new one.

Knowing I couldn't leave without at least offering some kind of an apology for my behaviour earlier, I'd got my phone and texted a simple, 'I'm sorry,' to Lisbon then I'd gotten together a few of my things and headed back out to my car. Forty minutes later with a tank full of petrol and a ready-made sandwich, I was on my way to Malibu.

I had plenty of time to think on the journey and by the time I'd reached my house I'd already decided that I was going to sell it and look for a place in Sacramento. It was where my home was now.

My wedding ring, however, was a different matter. Although I was eager to lose the anchor, I apparently still needed a buoy…metaphorically speaking of course. My ring was far more personal than the house; meant so much more. It wasn't guilt exactly that had me leave it on…more like how wrong it felt when I tried to take it off.

It's one of those things I'll have to look at more closely when I'm not so tired that I can hardly think anymore.

I got to the house in the early hours of this morning and the first thing I did was crash out on the couch for a while.

I awake to the sound of my cellphone ringing and blearily check the caller ID. It's Lisbon, probably wondering why I'm so late.

"Hey," I greet warmly.

"Where the hell are you, Jane?" she demands, obviously well on the way to a full-blown rage.

"Malibu," I reply, stifling a yawn. She doesn't say anything for so long I think we've been cut off. "Lisbon, are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here," she says, her tone more subdued now. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," I say soothingly. "I just need to take care of a couple of things then I'll be back tomorrow. There's something I have to tell you…but I prefer to do it face to face."

"Really?" she queries, sounding a little worried.

"Don't panic, woman, I'm not leaving if that's what you're thinking," I assure her, grinning to myself.

"I know that," she retorts dismissively but I detect an undertone of relief.

Such little faith, but I understand why now.

"Did you get my text?" I ask softly.

"Yeah. Thanks."

"I meant it, Teresa, I was an ass yesterday and I'm sorry," I tell her contritely. "I hope you catch Greening tonight. Give me a call and let me know how it all goes, OK?"

"OK," she agrees. There's another pause then, with the most awful attempt at being casual, she adds, "So…I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"You will," I reiterate firmly. "Goodbye, Teresa."

"Bye, Jane."

I end the call and smile to myself. Just hearing her voice makes me homesick.

I get up and go to the bathroom then have a quick shower . When I've finished, I stand in the hallway for a moment just staring at my old bedroom door. I know what's behind there now and I'm ready to face it for the last time. I go in and come to a stop in front of the grisly drawing that has haunted me day and night for over a decade. The blood is brown with age and I reach out to touch it gently with my finger.

So much anger, so much heartache, so much grief. I let my hand drop to my side and glance around the rest of the room. The house seems to have an air of peace about it now that wasn't present before…or perhaps it's just the fact that I've reached a decision about my life that makes it seem so.

I leave the room without a backward glance then get dressed and go into town. I get something to eat then call in at a local business to arrange for someone to come out and redecorate the bedroom. It's not something I have the time or inclination to do myself. I then go to see a local realtor and we make arrangements so that they can keep the keys and oversee the decorator and any possible viewings.

From there I go to the local store and buy some groceries for this evening. It's not until late afternoon that I finally head back to the house. I plan to stay tonight then drop my keys off and go back to Sacramento in the morning.

I pull up then get out of my car and look out across the ocean. The beach is empty and I feel the urge take a walk along the sand. I grab the groceries and take them into the house then shed my jacket, vest, shoes and socks and leave them in the lounge before heading off out along the shoreline. I roll up my trouser legs and stroll through the shallows. There's something very soothing about the ebb and flow of the tide on one's feet and by the time I return from my amble I feel completely relaxed.

As I approach my house it takes me a moment to realise that there's a woman sitting primly on my front steps with a small overnight bag beside her. I'm shocked when I recognise whom it is.

"I don't think you're going to make it back in time for the party tonight," I say with a shake of my head as I come to a stop in front of Lisbon.

"Van Pelt's going," she replies with a careless shrug as she stands up and shoves her hands into her pockets. "Cho's taking lead. They'll be fine."

I notice her looking at me with some trepidation, no doubt second-guessing what I'm certain is an impetuous decision on her part, to come here and I give her a reassuring grin. I may not have expected her to be here but I'm not about to pass up an opportunity like this. I glance around and when I see no sign of her car I look back at her quizzically.

"How did you get here? And so quickly come to that?"

"Walter lent me his private jet to fly down here and then I got a cab from the airport," she explains a little defiantly.

No doubt wondering if I'm going to have another jealous fit over the millionaire.

"Were you really that worried that I wouldn't come back tomorrow?" I ask in amusement, letting her know it doesn't bother me.

"No. I just thought you might need a friend," she replies defensively. "You only ever come here when you're…troubled."

Really, could the woman be any sweeter? Or more caring? What have I been thinking taking it slow for so long?

I step up and surprise her by placing a firm, quick kiss on her lips.

"Thank you," I say sincerely. She gives me an awkward nod of acknowledgement and I take hold of her hand then bend to pick up her bag.

I pull her into the house behind me and lead her to the lounge. I drop her bag on the floor and gesture for her to sit down.

"Let me just get cleaned up and I'll make us some dinner. Are you hungry?"

She nods and I quickly go upstairs then wash off the sand from my feet and come back down still bare foot.

"How does pasta sound?" I ask, noticing that she doesn't seem to have moved an inch from where I left her. She's so adorably uncomfortable in these kinds of personal situations.

"Great. Thanks."

I busy myself preparing our meal and she eventually gets up and walks over to watch what I'm doing.

"I've put the house up for sale," I say casually as I put the pasta into the boiling water and turn to face her.

Her eyes widen in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yes. It's time."

She nods and for the first time ever I notice her gaze dart to my left hand. It's only brief but now I'm more aware of how she might be feeling, I wonder how many other times I've missed that telling action in the past.

"I'm happy for the house to go but…I'm not quite ready to take my ring off yet, Teresa," I say quietly.

"I didn't say you should," she replies a little self-consciously. "It's nothing to do with me anyway."

"Oh, Teresa," I say with a shake of my head and an indulgent smile. "Haven't you realised by now? It's got everything to do with you."

She looks at me in shock and as I'm about to swiftly close the distance between us the water from the cooking pasta boils over the top of the pan with a loud hiss. While I quickly attend to the food, she moves away from me back into the lounge and begins to pace. I can see her agitation in the way she runs a hand through her long hair and the jerkiness of her walk. Apparently my little revelation hasn't gone over quite the way I'd hoped. That's Lisbon for you. Can't take a compliment even if you hit her over the head with it.

"You know what?" she suddenly says irately as she stops to stare at me with a frown from across the room. "You are driving me crazy! You say things…then deny it. You kiss me…then nothing. You get jealous for no reason…and now you tell me this? What are you doing, Jane? Do you even know? What am I supposed to say to that?"

"Thank you?" I suggest helpfully.

She lets out a growl of frustration at my flippancy and turns to pick up her bag.

"You know what? This was a bad idea. I knew I shouldn't have come," she says as she stalks angrily towards the front door.

"Lisbon, don't go," I call after her urgently. She pauses mid stride for a second then continues on and my heart drops like a stone. I catch up with her just as she's at the door and plead softly, "Please, Teresa. Stay."

My hands are at my sides and I'm itching to reach out and touch her but I know she'd resist me further. She looks down as if contemplating my request then her head lifts and she turns to face me.

"Only if you stop playing games, Jane," she says defiantly. "I'm not going to be your next shiny new plaything just used to fill up your time because you're bored now."

I'm speechless. Is that really what she thinks I'm doing? I shake my head in negation long before I can find adequate words.

"You're not a game to me, Teresa," I refute intently. "You never have been. I'm just trying to deal with my emotions the best way that I can and even though I'm not ready to say the words yet, it doesn't mean that I don't feel the depth of them any less." I pause and give her a small smile. "You just have to face it, Teresa, you're stuck with me. When I look into the future, all I see…is you."

She searches my face for the truth of my words and her expression softens just a little bit.

"Do you really mean that?" she queries, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes," I answer just as softly.

I know I'm not alone in understanding the importance of this moment as she takes her time to decide whether she believes me or not. Whether she's willing to give us a shot or not. The seconds stretch out as we continue to stare into each others eyes and I hope…I pray, that she puts me out of my misery soon.

She blinks and after another moment of hesitation she finally gives me a curt nod.

"I think that pasta's done," she says, dropping her bag and moving past me to head back into the kitchen.

My relief is almost overwhelming. I may not have openly said I loved her but she can be in no doubt of my feelings now…and she didn't leave. I am amazed and happy…and just a tiny bit humbled. I take a few seconds to bring my emotions back under control then join her in the kitchen. We work together in silence, sharing small smiles as we fill our plates then take them into the lounge with a glass of water each.

I put the TV on and we watch a well-known cop film as we eat, laughing at the obvious flaws in the plot line. We finish our food and place the plates on the small table in front of us and it's the most natural thing in the world for me to casually drape my arm around her shoulders as we watch the end of the movie.

I feel her tense slightly, then relax and lean into me a little more before resting her head on my shoulder. I can feel her hair tickling my neck and the fruity scent of the soap she uses infuses my senses so that I barely even register the film after that. It just feels so nice to sit with her like this and not think about things for a while.

The film ends and she lifts her head to look at me. I guess she wants to say something but when I turn to gaze back down at her we are so close it'd almost be an insult not to kiss her.

I dip my head and tentatively touch my lips to hers. With my veiled declaration still ringing in my ears, this feels different now. She responds almost immediately, her hand reaching up to grasp the back of my neck, urging me closer as she opens her mouth to deepen the kiss. Compared to this all our other kisses have been chaste. My tongue seeks out hers and they glide together in an erotic dance as I tilt my head to gain a better angle. I push my free hand into her hair at the back of her head, holding her in place until I suddenly feel her pushing firmly against my chest.

"Phone," she gasps as she tears her lips from mine and stands up to answer with a curt, "Lisbon."

I draw in greedy gulps of air and try to calm down my clamouring body as I sit and watch the play of emotions on her face. I assume it's Cho and the news appears to be good. She finishes the call, puts her phone away and looks down at me with a grin.

"That was Cho. The bust was success and Greening is in custody."

"That's good," I reply with a smile of my own as I stand up and take hold of her hands, gently drawing her back towards me.

"I…uh…I should go," she says still looking a little flushed. "It's getting late."

"You could stay here tonight," I suggest softly as I lean in and place tiny kisses along her jaw line.

She lets out a tiny whimper as I brush my lips over a certain part of her neck and I do it again just so I can hear that delightful noise once more.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she says, her breath hitching when I find another particularly sensitive spot. "Neither of us is ready, Patrick. Not yet."

As much as I want to ignore her and just continue indulging in eliciting those wonderful little moans, I know she's right. It is too soon and, really, when we finally make love it's not going to be on a couch in the house where my family was murdered.

That thought is as effective as a dousing of ice-cold water and I immediately pull back. My breathing is a little unsteady but after a couple of deep breaths I can manage a rueful smile.

"You're right," I say, putting some distance between us lest I give into temptation again.

"I am?" she questions curtly, obviously surprised and a tiny bit miffed that I've agreed so easily.

I gaze tenderly at her face, lips slightly swollen from our kiss, hair tousled from my hands and an expression of annoyance slowly blooming on her features. She certainly does know how to test my self-control.

"Yes; it shouldn't be here," I say with an apologetic smile.

I can tell she understands immediately and she glances towards the stairs before nodding. I put on my socks and shoes then grab my keys while she gets her bag and we go out to my car.

She tells me the name of the motel she's booked a room with and, as I know it well, it doesn't take long for me to get there. I wait while she registers then walk her to her room. She reaches up and pulls me in for another heated kiss that quickly re-ignites my desire but I determinedly pull back and shake my head at her seductive look.

"I'll be by to pick you up in the morning," I say firmly.

"Night," she replies, casting a quick look down my body then up again to give me a knowing smile. "Sweet dreams."

Little devil knows exactly what she's doing to me.

"Touché," I acknowledge as I chuckle at her cheeky echo of my taunt a few weeks before. I take my leave of her as she shuts the door then go back to my car still grinning to myself.

I've taken a huge step today, not just with Lisbon but with my life too. It's a little daunting to be honest but thrilling as well and for the first time in years I look forward to what tomorrow may bring.

END CHAPTER 7

#mentalist ff #mentalist fanfiction #jisbon fanfiction #jisbon ff

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Interrail trips: readers’ travel tips and tales | Travel

Winning tip: Slow and social, Italy

Italy’s length makes it a great country to use an Interrail card. You can travel overnight to save on hotel bills and make the most of your time in cities – leave Milan at midnight, wake up in Naples at 7am! Some Italian regional trains are great fun, too. They go everywhere and you will have farmers, housewives and students for company, more than willing to share wine, lunch and lives. Once, on a train from Bologna to Florence, six of us in a shared compartment sorted out a woman’s relationship dilemma: whether to move in with her boyfriend in Florence or do a love commute from Bologna every other day. Nicoletta

Splitting up in Madrid

Atocha Station, Madrid. Photograph: Luis Castaneda/Getty Images

Beware of trains that split! Heading for Seville, I travelled across the Spanish plains on a rickety old service – very scenic and romantic. At Madrid, it stopped for a long time and the destination boards weren’t clear. Leaving my rucksack in one compartment, I went into the next carriage to find an English speaker. “The guys back there tell me we’re going to Seville,” I said to my new American friend. “There is no ‘back there’,” she replied. “We’re on the train to Lisbon!” It took 36 hours to be reunited with my bag, sadly without the camera. Neil

Every week we ask our readers for recommendations from their travels. A selection of tips will be featured online and may appear in print, and the best entry each week (as chosen by Tom Hall of Lonely Planet) wins a £200 voucher from hotels.com. To enter the latest competition visit the readers’ tips homepage

Bled bugs bite

Lake Bled, Slovenia. Photograph: AlbertoLoyo/Getty Images

On the way from Vienna to Lake Bled, normally a six-hour trip, our train was cancelled midway and we were forced to find an alternative route. Eventually, at 4am, eight hours after we had planned to, we wearily arrived at Bled to find our hostel wasn’t open yet. Exhausted, my friend and I decided to sleep by the lake for a few hours until it opened. An hour later, I woke up to my friend shouting in agony. He had been using an ants’ nest as a pillow. Dominic

Travel days and local fares

River Neretva and city of Mostar. Photograph: Lassi Kurkijarvi/Getty Images

If you are travelling on a flexi pass, consider whether it is worth using one of the travel days for every train journey, or whether paying cash and saving a travel day works out cheaper – particularly in eastern Europe, where fares are lower. For instance, Sarajevo-Mostar (wonderfully scenic) costs about £6 each-way, which is significantly less than a travel day is worth. Alex

Creating in Croatia

Sunrise in Split. Photograph: xbrchx/Getty Images

If your Interrailing priority is returning home armed with some killer anecdotes, the sleeper train between Zagreb and Split is a must. Expect three-tier bunks dangling by a rope, a paper sheet in lieu of bedding, and limited bathroom facilities. The journey is likely to be enlivened by beer-wielding backpackers who are keen to make the most of the eight-hour journey, so entertainment isn’t in short supply. What’s more, waking up to daybreak on the Croatian coastline makes up for lack of sleep. Bunks need to be reserved for a small fee on top of the Interrail pass. Susie

Night trains save time and money, Kraków-Budapest

Main market square of Krakow from under the arches of the Cloth Hall. Photograph: martin-dm/Getty Images

When possible, take a night train. They are comfortable and you save a whole extra day to visit a city, and they also count as one day on your ticket. Night trains usually incur only a small extra cost, cheaper than an extra hotel/hostel night. One leg of my trip saw me in Kraków, where I visited the beautiful old town and took a morning trip from the central station to visit Auschwitz. Back at Kraków I took an overnight train to Budapest (costing about £6-7 if you pay local price) and, voilà, was in a new city and on the next leg of my Interrail trip. Peter Sala

’Appy days exploring Europe

Cologne Cathedral and train station. Photograph: Sergey Borisov/Alamy

As novice Interrailers, we weren’t brave enough to just wave our passes and see where fate took us. The awesome Rail Planner app allowed us to be virtually adventurous. OK, we’re at Lille station on 9 September at 9am … where shall we go? Vienna? Twelve hours and four changes. Too long, too many changes. There’s a train to Cologne in 10 minutes … sounds good – it’s got a cathedral, hasn’t it? Three weeks of doing that: best holiday ever. Bev

Ferry good deal indeed

Blue Star ferries in Piraeus. Photograph: David Levene/The Guardian

Interrail passes are not limited to trains – if you want a bit of variety, or ever get fed up with long rail trips, the card offers big discounts on ferries all over the continent. In Greece there are big savings on inter-island Blue Star ferries. And in Scandinavia you can cross the Baltic for half price from Germany to Finland on Finnlines vessels, which are top quality, with five-star facilities such as free, clean showers, cinema and swimming pools – really cool after an uncomfortable overnight train trip. Nigel Cox

Children travel free

Interrail is a good option for family holiday – children under 12 travel for free. Photograph: Alexander Sorokopud/Getty Images

Don’t assume Interrail is only for the young and footloose. With children under 12 travelling free, they’re great for family holidays. We did two with our daughter before she turned 12. Travelling from Exeter to London for the Eurostar, with UK travel included on the ticket they’d practically paid for themselves by the time we got to St Pancras. With that many trains involved, things aren’t always going to go perfectly, but the beauty of Interrail is its flexibility. Be warned, though, that France, Spain and Italy can be less accommodating by requiring compulsory reservations for some trains. Jon A

Border buffers, Italy/Slovenia

Gorizia railway station. Photograph: John Keates/Alamy

When I went Interrailing around northern Italy, I was really keen to end the trip by going over the border to Slovenia, but the Italian and Slovenian train networks aren’t connected. So I got a train to border town Gorizia then hopped on the local bus to Nova Gorica, which is the Slovenian side of the city (or you can walk it in about 30 minutes). I then got the train to Lake Bled through the Julian Alps – it was only about €6 for a single ticket if you want to save your day use, and the views were fantastic. It’s then very easy from Bled to get trains to Austria, or to Ljubljana. Rachel

Looking for a holiday with a difference? Browse Guardian Holidays to see a range of fantastic trips

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