#sasah death

[dial1-800-peachykeen]

continuation wip for it hurts to be something its worse to be nothing with you. Planning on finishing the fic to be up this weekend, but let's hope I can commit to that.

(trying this way as a response to my poll results, let's see how it goes)

It's getting too stuffy in the coffeehouse, Sasha acutely aware of everyone in it and though she knows no one can see what she does she feels like every pair of eyes were on her back waiting for the show to get good. 

"It's just..." Sasah tried to find the words but there aren't any in any language that could describe the tangled mess in her brain. 

Marcy looked straight back at her, like some monster, like some interrogator, like that thing from so long ago. Sasha hears the buzzing in her ears and the drumming of her heart and she wants to die on the spot but that would be too insensitive of her to do that in front of her friend. 

"Why can you mourn Anne's death but not mine?" she asked again. "Did I not mean as much? Do you still hate me? I want to know Sasha – I need to know." 

Sasha aggressively shook her head, the sadness she buried deep inside trying to escape her control. 

"Don't you want me to rest in peace? I can't pass on without knowing the truth." 

"What do you want me to say?" Sasha burst and spilt all over like the coffee cup in her hand, "of course I miss you, of course I loved you. I love you so much Marcy in ways Anne made it so difficult to."

"Then?" And it was so nerve wracking how composed she was. The way she looked like Sasha's heart wasn't on the table for everyone to see, bleeding out and staining their hands. It mortified her that she was her old age of twenty one while Marcy in front of her was just fourteen. 

"Anne died as a martyr, her death had meaning." 

"And mine didn't?"

[s-creations]

Choking on Your Hubris

Raz knows he's cursed. He's experienced that hand reaching up to swipe at him enough time to know he's cursed. To bad Norma doesn't believe him and his own stubbornness lands him in a familiar situation.

_________

Fandom: Psychonauts          Rating: General Audience           Relationships/Pairings: Nothing major       Warnings: Discussion of almost drowning, Quick rescue, Almost losing someone, First work for this Fandom, a ‘what if’ situation.

Idea comes from InkayInks Prompt List.

“How stupid do you think we are?”

 Norma’s question cut through the conversation easily. Raz, who had been talking about his family to the other interns, stopped short. Turning to face the pyrokinesis specialist. Who was looking back with a raised brow. 

 “What?” The ten-year-old asked. 

 “There are no such things as curses. Psychics have better things to do than to play ‘fortune tellers’. And you know that manipulating someone’s mind is wrong, but that doesn’t make them cursed either. I don’t know why your father poisoned your mind with-”

 “He didn’t!” Raz quickly argued back, “He wouldn’t and I’m telling the truth! If I get too close to water, this weird hand thing comes out to try to grab me and pulls me into the water.”

 “Yeah...it hurts me to say this, but I’m with Norma on this,” Lizzie said slowly, “It just sounds...weird.” 

 Adam nodded in agreement as he folded his arms. “Never in my years of research have I ever heard of anything like this. Not curses, no nothing.”

 “Are you kidding me? You all were in agreement when I was telling the story.” Raz complained. 

 “Yeah, before Norma sunk some sense into us,” Gisu replied, “Sorry Raz. It was a good story though.”

 “It’s not a story! I’m telling you, I’ll drown by a weird hand if I get anywhere near water!”

 Norma stood at that. Towering over Raz as she started him down. “Prove it.”

 “W-What?”

 “You’re really adamant about this. Show us this so-called ‘curse’.” 

 “You want me to die?”

 “No, I want to see this mysterious hand. Don’t worry your baby head. I’ll make sure you’re safe and step in if it’s too much for you.”

 Raz swallowed weakly, biting his bottom lip as he surveyed the room. None of the interns seemed to be willing to come to his rescue. Some even looked curious as well. Eyes flitted back up to Norma. Who’s all knowing smirk only seemed to grow, which only made Raz’s anger out grow his fear. 

 “Fine.” Said anger he had felt slowly disappeared as they neared the edge of the nearby lake. The murky water rippled innocently as the teens (and child) arrived. 

 “I thought,” Raz's voice cracked, “we were going to the pool?”

 “I told you, you’ll be fine. Besides, where we go shouldn’t matter. Water is water after all. Now, why don’t you go show us your ‘curse’.” Norma said coolly. 

 “But, what if-”

 “Did you lie to us Raz?” Norma’s face changed into false hurt. A hand resting on her chest for dramatic effect. “That’s rude, to lie to your fellow interns.”

 Raz felt sick with fear. He didn't want to get anywhere near the murky water. But, he also wanted to prove he wasn’t lying. He tugged at his sleeve, cautiously making his way towards the water. Heart hammering as he stood mere inches from his possibly watery death. 

 “Well, what are you waiting for?” Norma’s voice broke through the mental panic.

 “What?” Raz squeaked out. 

 “You said you have to be in the water?”

 “...Y-Yeah, or at least c-close to it.” 

 “Well, get on with it then. Unless you were lying and are afraid of being found to be a liar?” 

 “I’m not lying!”

 “You sure are taking your sweet time with this.”

 “You would too if this was a life or death situation!”

 “Please, don’t be such a drama queen. Just admit you’re lying and we’ll go back inside.”

 “Why don’t you just-”

 Raz’s reply was cut off, feeling the familiar icy chill constrict his chest. There was a second of seeing the looks of shock and fear of the other interns before his vision turned watery. Arms trapped at his sides, Raz kicked furiously trying to break away. Only for more hands to reach up to hold him further. His last breath of air escaped his lungs and bubbled up to the surface. The light soon faded as he sank lower and consciousness slipped away…

It was like the back of head had been stabbed by a knife made of ice.

 Sasha struggled to remain upright. Hand reached out frantically, knocking over some equipment, as he found a perch on the nearby table. The sudden mental shock to the system sent him reeling.

  In one second he was being bombarded with emotions of absolute fear and anger, a mental vision of water, and a small cry of ‘Help...me…’. 

 The next he was teleporting to the lakeside. Finding the group of interns standing by the water’s edge. All pale and scared. Except...one was missing.

 “Where is he.” Sasha demanded. Sam merely pointed towards the water. 

 Wasting no time, the agent dove in. The water was frigid, stinging his exposed skin. It was also difficult to see through it. Dark and filled with debris. He swam downwards as quickly as he could. Trying not to think that Raz might not have been pulled directly straight down. That the child could be anywhere down there. A few seconds in passing was all it took to lose someone. 

 It was a short moment of relief when Sasha finally spotted Raz. Only for the worry to grow once again seeing the child was passed out. No bubbles leaving him and his skin sickly pale against the dark water. What looked like hands were wrapped around Raz’s lower body, only the head and shoulders seen. 

 Sasha wasted no time in blasting those hands away. Raz’s form slowed in the descent towards the dirt bottom. The agent moved quickly, grabbing the limp form before the hands could again. With the unmoving body tucked close to his chest, Sasha launched himself upwards to the surface. He gasped for air as he broke the surface. Landing easily on the edge. Ignoring the voices of the worried interns as he laid Raz down. Who was still unmoving.

 “Sir-”

 “Get Milla and Hollis, now.”

 Norma nodded quickly and rushed off. 

 Sasha tilted Raz’s head back, mouth open, and he started CPR. He tried not to show panic as the seconds passed and Raz didn’t stir. Tried to keep his hands steady as all he could think was how cold the child was. Tried to remain calm as nothing changed and Sasha was sure he was about to lose…

 “Darling.” Milla had arrived. Kneeling on the other side of the child, looking terrified. 

 “He’s not responding.” Sasha said weakly.

 “We need to get the water out.” 

 “I know-”

 “Psychically.” Sasha couldn’t argue as his chin was tilted up. Forehead pressed against Milla’s, whose eyes were already closed in concentration. “Focus…”

 Letting his shoulders slump, Sasah gave what he could to help. It was difficult at first to find what they were looking for. Sasha was still internally panicking and had to be pulled back by Milla more than once. Only then could they find the unwanted water blocking Raz’s airway. Even so, it was difficult to move the water out. Finding the correct pathway out and not disturbing anything else. 

 It was a tense few seconds before the water was finally pushed out. Escaping from Raz’s mouth and now hovering as a ball above the violently coughing and gasping child.

 “Easy darling, easy.” Milla placed a hand on Raz’s forehead. Trying to calm the frantic child as Sasha tossed the water back into the lake. 

 “M...M-Milla?”

 “Hush Raz, just catch your breath…”

 “What is going on here!” Hollis, with Norma in tow, came storming over. Fear hidden by a look of anger. 

 Sasha replied with, “Raz was drowning. We were just now able to revive him.”

 “Take him to medbay and get him out of those wet clothes. We don’t need him getting a head cold after all of this.” 

 Milla, with Raz resting in her arms, and Sasha returned to the Motherlobe. Hollis turned to the group of interns. Who all shrunk at the hard eye they were given. “I need someone to tell me why the youngest out of all of you was just rescued from drowning.”

 Sam broke. “So Raz was telling us about his life and family and he said that they had all been cursed to drown if they were near water. We didn’t believe him, especially when Norma pointed out how strange it was. But Raz was really insistent and so Norma told him to prove it and he technically did! Just...I didn’t think it would be so scary…”

“So, what I’m hearing is that you all deliberately pushed someone, a fellow intern, into a dangerous stunt. Almost killing him?”

 “But...Norma-”

 “None of you stopped Raz or called out Norma’s behavior. You’re all training to become Psychonauts. But this behavior makes me question if you all are even ready for this level. Your job is to help people, not push them into dangerous situations! If you can’t treat those who are supposed to be your teammates with respect, what about those you’re supposed to be helping.”

 That caused all heads to drop in defeat.

 “We...should apologize…” Morris offered.

 “No, you are not, not right now. You all are going to be scrubbing the inter living quarters. Which you will be spending the next two months. Yes, away from your private quarters. Don’t give me that look, Lizzie. After that, I want a 20,000 word essay about why this was bad and why you won’t be doing this again. Then you will be baking cookies to be delivered to all in the Motherlobe. Finally, you will all have 200 extra hours of training. And then we’ll see if Raz has anything to say about this. ...If he makes it through this.”

 _________________________

 It was all a blur. Raz was aware he was out of the water (he could breathe again). But he was now freezing, trying to catch his breath, and exhausted. He knew he was being carried by Milla, Sasha nearby, and both were giving off waves of fear. 

 His vision was unfocused, a ringing in his ear and his hearing muffled, limbs were heavy. Raz let out a small groan as he suddenly shifted. Shivering weakly at losing the warmth that Milla had been given. Someone lifted his helmet off, rubbing a towel over his dripping hair. Letting out a yelp when his jacket and sweater were removed.

 “It’s alright Raz, it’s just me.” Sasha’s voice sounded in the younger’s head.

 Soon enough, Raz was dressed in dry sleepwear, wrapped in a thick blanket, laying against someone. He assumed it was Sasha. But he wasn’t quite sure. 

 He winced again when another hand touched his forehead. 

 “Just the doctor, you’re safe Razputin.” 

 An overall check resulted in low body temperature, damaged throat, and no doubt on the road to getting a cold. But, at least he wasn’t dead. Hours passed, nightfall arriving before Raz felt somewhat normal. Surprised that Sasha and Milla had remained the entire time, even after Raz was able to sit up on his own. 

 “Don’t you both have work to do? What about the mission?” Raz asked, his voice quiet. His throat was killing him. 

 “We can keep an eye on you and work at the same time,” Sasha replied, “We’re quite skillful in multi-tasking.” 

 “Unless you want us to leave?” Milla asked. To which Raz shook his head. “Then we’ll stay for as long as you want.” 

 The child smiled weakly at that. Eyes slowly closing as he felt sleep pull at him. Sinking into the overly cushioned bed and pillow, warmth flowing through him and contained by the thick blanket. A kiss was gently placed on his head while a hand gently rubbed the back of his hand. 

 “Sleep well darling.”

 “Get some rest, Razputin.”

 The predicted cold arrived hard and heavy. Raz’s throat remained sore, but had a clogged nose and pounding headache added along with it. His days were filled with medicine, soup, and sleep. Lili stopped by as many times as she could.

 “First my dad’s sick. Then you’re sick after you almost died. Can things please stop falling apart around me?” She sighed softly. Holding out another spoonful of soup for Raz.

 “I didn’t mean to make you worry.” He croaked out.

 “Just keep away from the water. And stop listening to those idiot interns.” 

 “Deal.”

 A week and a half later had passed before Raz could leave the medical ward. And only after Hollis, Sasha and Milla agreed that he looked well enough to do so. He was nervous about returning to the working world, being around the interns again. Not sure if he was mentally ready to face them all again. Even if he had Sasha saying to call him if the teens tried anything again.

 Raz stopped outside the door marking the intern living quarters. Allowing himself a few seconds to collect his thoughts before pushing his way in. He froze in the doorway as five pairs of eyes snapped up to him. Raz not realizing he would be seeing the interns so quickly, believing they’d be hiding away in their personal rooms. The tense situation broke when Sam pushed away from her marked desk. 

 “Raz! We didn’t kill you!” She rushed over, instantly pulling the younger into a tight hug. 

 “C-Can’t...breath…”

 “Oh, sorry.”

 “Good to see you up and going again.” said Adam, patting Raz’s shoulder as he was released.

 “Thanks...I wasn’t expecting to see you all in here.”

 “We’re on house arrest...sort of intern arrest?” Morris hummed softly. 

 Gisu rolled her eyes. “What Morris is trying to say is that Hollis gave us a pretty heavy punishment. Not like we don’t deserve it, mind you.”

 “No kidding,” Lizzie added, “Seriously, nothing freaked me out more than seeing you...go under. Are you okay?”

 Raz shrugged. “I mean, I’m still here. But I’m still on bed duty for a while. Where’s...um, where’s Norma?”

 “Out on the balcony. Brooding.” 

 “...Is she still upset?”

 “At you? No. She’s being hard on herself, as usual.” 

 “Sorry to break this up, but we should be getting back to work. I don’t want to be under house arrest any longer than I need to.” Morris was the first one to pull away. With the rest following to get back to their desks. 

 Raz passed by them and out onto the balcony. Where he found Norma, as Lizzie said he would. The small table nearby was covered with numerous scribbled papers, a half finished cup of tea holding down a small pile of them. The intern herself was staring off into the sunset. 

 “Uh, hi Norma.” Raz said weakly. 

 She casually looked over before returning her attention towards the horizon. “Good to see you’re alive.” 

 “Uh, yeah, sure am. Just...wanted to come out and say hi.” 

 “Well, you’ve done it. So...bravo for you.”

 Raz’s shoulders fell in defeat. “Okay, sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.” 

 “Raz, wait.” Norma gave a heavy sigh before facing the younger again. “Look, I’m… I am sorry. I still don’t think you’re cured.”

 “But-”

 “I know, I saw what happened. But curses don’t exist, so I’m not fully sure what happened. However, that’s not the point of this. What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry for pushing you so far.” 

 “...You just wanted to see what would happen.”

 “That’s not an excuse. You were clearly distressed and you almost died. I don’t know what’s going on. But that shouldn’t cause you to almost lose your life. I need to think about my actions and the outcome for those.” 

 With that, Norma faced the sky once more and said nothing. Raz took that as the conversation was over and that he needed to leave. So, he did. Walking back into the living quarters and greeted more warmly by the other interns. Laying down on his marked bed, he felt a comforting pulse come from Sasha and Milla. For now, it was fine. Raz just wondered how long that would last with this group. 

[miki-13]

Is my general reaction to the snk discourse (having gone through this once before as a manga reader)

So you're mad at Gabi for Sasah's death?

That's fine.

Didn’t like her even before all of this?

That’s fine.

Actively hating an indocrinated child, a child who has been molded and used as a weapon? Wishing for her death and other disgusting things to happen to her?

That's not fine.

That is the exact opposite of fine.

Do you even hear yourselves?

At this point, you don't care about Sasha, you're just using her as justification to satisfy your own hatred and anger.

We've already been shown plenty of times across the series that that kind of hatred is just a dead-end, and becomes more about the person's feelings than their "justification".

And yet I've seen no one this angry at Marley as a whole, for being the ones who made Gabi what she is, how they instilled this sick, twisted self-hatred in her, this zealous bloodlust for her own people.