#same with 'broken' ive had multiple people to me explain why i shouldnt use that word about myself but im like

[gibbearish]

i can't take any discourse post seriously if it says "x side is refusing to listen to survivors" because if you can't accept that survivors are not a monolith and may disagree with you in regards to your shared type of trauma then it really begs the question, are YOU actually listening to survivors? or are you only listening to the ones who say what you already thought and disregarding the rest as a) people who are incapable of understanding their own trauma and therefore can't be trusted to make decisions about it for themselves or b) outright fakers?

[datingadviceonreddit]

I'm not going to be using any of the real names of the people involved, and ill try to keep this as short as possible.So to get started there is this woman who ill call Megan, and ive always been really cool with her but never really close friends. Well we're both in college and have a lot of mutual friends and are in alot of the same GroupMe's (If you're not familiar with that it's essentially a group messaging app that makes it easier to have multiple people in it.) and over christmas break she messaged in one of them saying how she had just gotten back in town, and that she was trying to go out to the bars with someone. I was hesitant at first but after sitting around my house all day, decided that i may as well go out with her, because it'd probably be a good time and i would get to know her a little more. It's worth noting that i have always been interested in Megan, but i was never really around her enough to ever make a move.Anyways, i end up meeting her at her place, she finishes off a glass of wine and we head out to the bar. When we get there i thought she was being very flirtatious with me, but i just shrugged it off and figured i was reading into things too much, the night went on and she kept being more and more flirtatious, and she kept kissing me on the cheek and hugging me and holding on to my arm, but i kept telling myself you're probably just over thinking it, for all you know she could just always be like that, because again i had never really hung out with her for more then 30 minutes at a time. Well one thing lead to another and she ends up kissing me, and we start making out, i notice at this point that she's had way too much to drink. So i decided to take her home.I walk her back to her place, and she has her arms locked with me the whole time and shes leaning on me laughing, and as soon as we get to her apartment she sprints up the stairs and runs in. I wanted to just leave then, but i figured i might as well try seeing if the door is unlocked, and it was, and as soon as i open the door she sprints out of the bathroom and into her room, so i went to her room asked her if she was okay, she told me she had to throw up, so i got her a trash can and held her hair while she was puking, and got her a glass of water, tucked her into bed, changed the trash bag and left.I get a call from my roommate later on the next day and he's asking me why Megan was calling him at 4 in the morning bawling her eyes out. So i explain the whole situation to him, and told him im sorry, i know i shouldnt have let her kiss me etc.. Because i was convinced that she had a boyfriend. Turns out they had broken up not too long before that and the reason she called him was completely unrelated, but he knew that i was out with her the night before and wanted to see if i could give him any more detail.I end up telling him a little while later, that i had feelings for her, and he told me that i shouldnt read too much into anything because she was really drunk and didnt remember any of it happening. So i let it go for a while, but she would hit me up to chill like once or twice a week for a while, still being just as flirtatious as before.A month or two later my room mate gets really drunk and tells me that she used to have a thing for me for a little bit, and i asked him why he never told me, and he told me it was because he didnt want us to start dating and something happen (because she never lasts long in relationships) and him feel like he has to choose because he is very close to both of us. At this point i was completely blown because the boyfriend that i had mentioned earlier? She had gotten back with him, so i gave up, but i still hung out with her pretty often, and she even messaged me on my birthday a couple weeks ago, and told me she wanted to come out with me on my birthday, how glad she was to have met someone like me, how great of a friend i am etc.Well we end up going out with a few other friends, she's buying me shots, we're having a good time, being extremely flirty with each other, like normal, and we leave the bar to go get some pizza and we're joking around there and everything and next thing i know she starts kissing me, and we leave and shes got her arms locked with mine and we go to a party, where i end up blacking out, that was one of the last things i remembered.We talked the next day, and she told me she had a lot of fun the night before, made plans to hang out later that day. Now my question is WHAT THE HELL DO I DO? I know that my roommate ended up telling her about the first time, and she told him she was glad i didn't make anything awkward. But i have no idea if she remembers this second time or not, and i don't want to approach her and tell her how i feel, while she has a boyfriend because i feel like it wont end well. But please thoughts? ideas?(forgot to mention, her boyfriend lives a few hours from here and she only sees him once a month or so) via /r/dating_advice