#same goes for elementary school; basically all of my memories skip straight to like. 4th grade and there's Barely anything before that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

brittlebutch · 2 days ago

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i really do still routinely forget how old i am. i have finally moved past the impulse-answer of still being a teenager, but now i seem to be stuck at like '22' and then i get jumpscared by the 'you are 27 years old' that finally clicks in a second later.

#N posts stuff #it's like that brief confusion when someone asks your address and your first thought is a place you lived at years ago #been thinking about this a lot lately bc i've been paying more attention to my memory lately and realizing that like #i routinely Completely forget about my first two years of high school; like when i think 'freshman me' i realized that i usually #Actually think of myself in what was actually my Junior year at my Third high school — my brain usually just skips my first two #high schools completely unless i dwell on it longer and can finally dig up the fact that i did have Two Full Schools & Years prior to that #same goes for elementary school; basically all of my memories skip straight to like. 4th grade and there's Barely anything before that #sometimes i can remember like 2 or 3 things Max from before that but not a lot more.#i do sometimes feel like my memories of middle school are the most stable for some reason?#college is Sometimes a little easier but i do still often skip straight into year 3.5 and then everything else is kinda foggy #easier to get to than high school but still hard as hell; what's especially weird is the Blurring #like i remember one specific friend from my sophomore year who my brain routinely tries to superimpose into my 3rd high school #i guess bc i remember her better than anything else from the 2nd school? so it's like 'these go together' but they Do Not LOL.#i have no idea what's going on in there. someone took a mallet to these things and i'm fumbling at the scattered shards here #edit: the thing about middle school tho is i can remember Events more consistently from then but not any of the emotional #connections to them. like i can remember pretty easily that i started self-harming in like. one of the years i did 7th grade #but can't remember Why i started doing that. ?? just that i was. baffling!! i don't get it at all.

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