#samdean relationship is so complicated and beautiful and I love it

[flowersintheimpala69]

okay, I am gonna try to articulate this in the best way and I apologize if I mess up but lowkey... sometimes.. dean's treatment of sam and their relationship... sorta reminds me of domestic abuse.

WAIT WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT

I love Dean, I do. This is NOT anti-dean, I think he's a character with many nuances and depth and so on. I'm also not saying i think Sam is a little uwu soft boy who gets abused all the time by big evil Dean.

ALL i'm trying to say is sometimes dean treats sam in a way that I THINK is reminiscent of an abuser. I think it's incorrect to say he is an abuser because I think sam&dean's relationship is too complicated to just label it as "abusive". and I'm not saying sam doesn't do shitty stuff to dean too sometimes. they both do shitty things and they both love each other so so much.

BUT I think the shitty stuff sam does is like... keeping a secret from dean (which dean does too sometimes) or like making a shitty choice that has repercussions, or just speaking out against dean. and the shitty stuff dean does is like verbally beat sam down and punch him.

it also feels like dean is treated differently when it comes to stuff sam was criticized for. like sam's relationships always have to be "dean approved" like with ruby (and.. he was right to dislike her but shh) but dean didn't trust her despite her proving herself when she saves them or whatever. but then like it wasn't considered okay when SAM didn't approve of dean's relationship with Gordon (which like he was right abt) and didn't approve of Benny.

AND i'm not saying sam's shitty things arent "bad enough" to be considered toxic or are excused, but I feel there's a clear imbalance, yk?

And when it comes to power dynamics, i think dean really does have the upper hand just because he's older and he basically raised sam and I don't think the power gap is that much but it's there.

and it makes sense that they're like this. they're codependent and sometimes do shitty things because they CONSTANTLY have had shitty things done to THEM since they were little kids.

again this isn't anti-dean at all!! i just was thinking about it and would have loved to see more discussion or reference about it in the show (or in fic atp) where they fix their relationship because i don't think it's beyond fixing and i don't think dean is a bad person, but I feel like talking to each other and healing from both their individual and shared trauma would be great to see.

I hope this made sense!!