#sam literally could leave at any time and dean would let him go (as we'll see in thee very next episode!!)

[angelsdean]

me, dean, and everyone else watching: ok sure, sammy

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Stranger

I Am Sorry

Summary - Alone in your room, you try to figure out how your past life had been.

Pairing - Dean x Reader (??), Sam x Reader (platonic)

Warning - Angst, mentions of drinking, swearing and did I mention angst

Word Count - 2066

Square Filled - Bunker ( @spndeanbingo )

A/N - So I know I have been a little MIA for a over a week now and it has been a lot time since I have updated any of my series. But I finally got my motivation to continue this part and my other series so hopefully I won't abandon this series again. Regularity and me - we don't have a good relationship.

Anyways happy reading!

Unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Spn divider by the talented @talesmaniac89

Series Masterlist

There were no more tears left to cry. You had spent the whole evening crying, trying to think of any possible reason as to why Dean would do such a thing, trying to bring yourself forgive him, but you couldn't. You needed to know why Dean took such a drastic measure to erase himself from your life.

Your stomach grumbled. You sat up and rubbed your face with your hands. You didn't know what time it was, but you assumed it was sometime around midnight, considering how long you had been in the bunker. You needed food in your stomach. There was a knock on your door. You hoped it was not Dean. You couldn't face him right now.

“Y/N, it's Sam,” the voice called from the other side of the door, making you sigh in relief. You got out of your bed, and walked up to the wooden door, opening it.

“Hey,” you said.

“I got you food,” Sam smiled.

“A literal angel.” You said.

“I figured you might be hungry after everything you have been through and I also got you a drink.” He gave you a knowing smile.

“Thank you. Do you want to….come in I guess,” you told him.

“If that's okay with you.”

“Sure.” Sam followed you into the room, a plate of food in one hand, and some clothes on another.

“I hope you still like junk food.” Sam chuckled.

“Oh yeah!” You grinned, smiling for the first since the fallout.

“Here,” he handed you the clothes, “You need some fresh pair of clothes. They might be a little too big.”

“Thank you.”

“I'm sorry.” He said.

“What're you sorry for? Your brother's a dumbass,” you scoffed.

“Cas said that what he did is irreversible.” He said. “He said something about grace and how magic done by grace can't be reversible so-”

“I won't remember anything.” You said.

“I called Rowena-”

“The witch?” You asked.

“Yes. She said she will pay us a visit tomorrow. Maybe she can come up with a solution,” he hoped.

“I don't think so, Sam.” you exhaled loudly.

“Listen I am not supporting his stupid decision but Dean, at that time he thought he was doing the right thing,” He sighed. “We'll figure somethin’ out, Y/N/N.”

“He could have talked to me. We could have come up with a different solution other than me having to live without remembering half of my life,” you bitterly laughed.

“I know.” Sam walked up to you and suddenly pulled you into a tight hug.

“Sam, c-can't….breathe,” you gasped.

“Sorry,” he sheepishly smiled and let go of you, “I missed having you around. I really hated the decision Dean made. He didn't think of anyone. You were like my little sister I never thought I needed. I really missed you Y/N/N.”

“Wish I could say the same.” You gave him a sad smile.

“Eat up. You must be starving. Maybe we can reverse the spell….or whatever it is,” Sam said.

“Yeah. Thank you….for everything, Sam,” you said, as he smiled and turned to leave the room, “Sam, wait.”

“Yeah?” He looked back at you.

“I-”

“What is it?” He insisted.

“How is he?” You blurted out.

“Dean? He's, you know, holed up in his room, drinking. I'll check on him on my way out to make sure his liver survives the night.” Sam said.

“Okay.” you said and wished him goodnight as he left the room. After taking a swig from the bottle of beer, you finished off with the burger Sam had brought for you before retreating back to the bed.

Sleep didn't come easy that night. Mind plagued by various thoughts, you kept tossing and turning in your bed. Not only the thoughts about how your previous life was but also the dream you had, when the Djinn had captured you, kept you up all night. Dean said those monsters show you what your heart desires, then why did you dream about a life with Dean? He was just a guy at the bar for you. Tears welled up in your eyes as you realised a big chunk of your memory was missing and you wouldn't probably ever get it back.

You wanted to scream and punch Dean for playing with your life, playing with your relationship, but right now, lying in your bed in which was supposed to be your home, you felt helpless. You got out of the bed finally giving up on sleep and started to rummage through the drawers of your nightstand - searching for anything that would possibly bring back your memory.

Nothing significant caught your eyes until you saw an old leather-bound diary and small black box. Climbing back into your bed, you looked curiously at the two things in your hand.

You opened the box and found a bunch of pictures inside it. Your breath hitched in your throat as you looked at the pages. There were four pictures in total, all of them of you and Dean. There was this one picture, which was probably clicked by Sam of you and Dean laughing in the backseat of his car but what made your heart break was the diamond ring which was clearly visible on your left hand. An inaudible sob left your lips as you saw the next picture which completely shattered your heart. You didn't have any memory of the happiest day of your life. You stared at the picture of you standing in a white dress in front of a mirror, lips curled up into a small smile and eyes sparkling with hope and happiness. You saw the reflection of Dean in a black tux in the mirror as he stood behind you with a camera pointed at the mirror, as he clicked a picture of his bride. You got married that day, you were happy, you both were. Then why did Dean have to go and throw out every good thing he ever had?

Picking up the diary, you started to look through. It was some sort of a journal you used to keep. You flipped through the pages until a certain entry grabbed your attention.

‘This is frustrating. I should be able to maintain my cool! We were on a damn Rugaru hunt. If Sam wasn't there to save my ass, I would have died. Stupid Dean with his stupid gorgeous face. There were so many times I wanted to tell him everything but what if he doesn't feel the same? Goddamnit! I think I will take off for a few days. Clear my head so that I stop daydreaming about that green eyed son of a bitch!’

You chuckled at your bluntness. You flicked through the pages and started reading another entry.

‘I feel numb. I don't know what to think anymore. He's gone. Just like that. I don't even know if he's dead or not. Sammy went out for a drive leaving me behind in the motel room. That was three days ago. I don't know what to do anymore. Bobby's dead. Cas is gone too and Dean is, I don't know anymore. I need him to come back. Please. I can't live without him. Please, come back.’

You had so many questions about what had happened that day. From the diary entries, you could feel how much love you had for Dean. He said that he still loved you. The same question haunted you again, then why did he push you away? You flipped to the last entry in the journal.

‘I am scared for him. He won't talk to me. He would barely look at me. The mark is eating him alive on the inside. I am scared and confused. I don't know how to help him. This is not the Dean Winchester I married. I need my husband back.”

That was the last entry in your diary. You read it a few times but couldn't understand anything. What was the mark? What happened in the last few days? You needed to talk to Sam, hoping he would tell you everything.

You had spent your entire night or what was left of it reading through the journal and rummaging around your room for any other clues or snippets from your forgotten life. Three short knocks on the door made you jump out of your skin.

You hesitated a little before opening the door. After everything you had learnt overnight, you were in no state to face Dean. You had questions that you needed answers but you didn't want to talk to him.

“You okay, Y/N?” A voice asked and you sighed in relief when you realised it was Sam. You went over and opened the door.

“Y-yeah, I'm fine. Why?” You casually asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“Nothing….I was going out for my morning run and heard sounds from your room. Why are you up so early? You-uh, you never were a morning person,” Sam said.

“Can't sleep.” You replied.

“This all must be very overwhelming for you.”

“And confusing. I have so many questions,” you frowned, “I need answers, Sammy.”

Sam’s eyes sparkled as he heard you call him ‘Sammy’, and he smiled at you.

“What?” You cocked your head sideways.

“You called me Sammy.” He said.

“Is that-did I do….did I say something wrong?” You asked.

“No no no, you always used to call me that. You picked up that name from Dean and then you hardly called me Sam anymore,” he chuckled, “you want to go with me for a run? It will clear your head and I know you still don't want to….meet him.”

“Uh-huh. Give a few minutes to get ready. Maybe you can give me the answers to the millions of questions I have,” you said.

“Sure.”

“So he became a demon?” You asked, panting as you tried to keep with Sam’s long legs. You were honestly shocked to learn about how your life had been. Demons, ghosts, werewolves, vampires - that's all that you knew in that life. The Winchesters were on a run from law and some assumed they were dead, and they did die a number of times.

“Yeah. And that's when things started to go downhill,” Sam said.

“What do you mean?” You asked as you both approached the bunker door. Sam kept quiet.

“Sammy?”

“I think you should ask Dean. It's not my place to say,” he whispered.

“But-” Sam shook his head and went down the stairs and you followed him.

Dean was still nowhere to be found which was a relief but you were also a little stressed out about his condition. He was cooped up in his room since the previous night with a bottle of Jack - as told to you by Sam - which was definitely not healthy.

“I know he is probably the last person you want to see right now but you should talk to him. He is the only person who can speak for his actions.” You nodded your head at the younger brother.

“I need a little more time before I can even look at him.” You sighed.

“I know.” The low grumble from the other side of the room, caught your attention. You turned sideways, your heart dropping to your stomach when you took in the sight of the man in front. He looked like he had aged ten years overnight. His red rimmed eyes were heavy with guilt and sadness. His scruffy cheeks were sunken and pale. “I couldn't find any of you in the bunker.”

“We went for a run.” Sam replied.

“Run? I thought you-” Dean looked at you.

“People change.” You averted your eyes, making him wince at your coldness. He knew he deserved it but he still loved you.

“Well, I took a shower so I don't reek of whiskey anymore. You never liked the smell of alcohol on me.” Dean said, trying to make small talk to break the uncomfortable silence.

“Good for you.” You needed to leave the room so you turned on your heels to leave.

“Y/N-” his voice made you stop in your tracks. “I'm sorry. You-you don't have to forgive me but….please, I-I need you to know that I'm sorry.”

“I know.” And that's all you said before you went to your room.

Let me know if you want to be tagged in this!

Feedback is highly appreciated!

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Never Gonna Lose You

Summary - Even with Chuck's danger hanging over the heads of the Winchesters and the Reader, preparations for Dean and Reader's wedding start in the bunker

Pairing - Dean x reader, Sam x reader (platonic)

Warning - Fluff, just pure tooth rotting fluff (yeah ik it's highly unlike me) and maybe a bit of swearing

Word Count - 1.5k

A/N - This is the sequel to Don't Wanna Lose You as requested by @miss-nerd95 (I finally wrote it)

This is the first time I have attempted to write a fic with a wedding ceremony in it so I hope it turns out okay. (Also if there is any rule wrong in the wedding ceremony, please let me know because I wrote the rules of the ceremony after I saw it on the internet and from movies).

Spn divider by the amazingly talented @talesmaniac89 (if you can, check out her blog. She is so good)

"Hey! I came back to the bunker to find it empty. Where were you both?"

You were trying your best to stop the large smile that was threatening to spread on your face.

"We were uh..out", you gave Sam an innocent smile.

"Oh no. No I don't want to hear about my brother's sex life", Sam scrunched up his face in pure disgust.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Sammy because we have some news", Dean said with a stupid grin on his face.

"Please don't tell me Y/N's pregnant because I can't handle a mini Dean right now in the bunker", Sam said.

"What no! I am not pregnant-"

"We're getting married!" Dean declared proudly.

"What? That's great! Congratulations you guys", Sam literally ran towards you both and pulled you and his brother into a bone crushing hug.

"That's enough Sam", Dean groaned.

Sam let go of you both, "So when's the wedding? Where's the ring? Show me the ring".

"When did you become so girly Sammy?" Dean teased Sam which resulted in him getting a glare from the younger hunter.

"I'm just very excited for you both. Welcome to the Winchester family, Y/N. I am very happy for you Dean but Y/N not really, you could have done a lot better", Sam smirked.

"Ow", Sam yelped when his brother smacked his head.

"So when's the wedding? Did you tell Cas and Jack? Where will be the wedding?" Sam started to fire different questions at you.

"Hold your damn horses, Sammy. I don't know when's the-"

"We are getting married next week," Dean said, cutting you off mid-sentence which made your eyes go wide.

"Next week?" You exclaimed, "Dean are you crazy? We can't get married next week! There is so much to do! It's a goddamn wedding! Decorations, dress, catering - are you out of your mind, Dean Winchester?"

"We'll manage, sweetheart. It will be fine," Dean tried to assure when he saw you had already started panicking.

And damn did he make sure it was fine. The week went by a blink of an eye. With every passing day you were growing more anxious even though Dean did his best to make this the perfect wedding.

Growing up as a hunter, you never thought marriage was in your cards. You always thought that you would be long dead even before you meet the man of your dreams but it all changed when you met Dean.

Your meeting with Dean was out of pure luck. Your car had crashed into his when you were on a run from a monster. They immediately found out that you were hunting the same nest of vampire that they were. They were quite taken aback when you told them that you were a solo hunter.

Although as much as Dean was furious at first because you damaged his beloved Baby, you and him slowly became good friends. So when Sam invited you to live with them, you agreed without any second thoughts. Sam was like the younger brother you never had but Dean was another story. After several months of dancing around the fact that you both had feelings for each other and also because of Sam’s annoyance, Dean decided to ask you out.

Now, today as you looked at your reflection in the mirror, tears started to well up in your eyes. You never thought you would be able to see yourself like this - wearing a beautiful white gown as your would-be husband takes a stand at the altar, waiting for you to walk down the aisle.

“All done, sweetie,” Jody said as she put the final touches to your makeup and hair, “you look beautiful.”

You took a final look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes travelled south, eventually finding the beautiful engagement ring on your hand. Dean had given it to you on the same night he had asked you to marry him. The ring was perfectly kept in the pocket of one of his coats - he wanted to ask you for a long time but he always would chicken out at the last minute until that night. After he had put the ring on your finger, Dean had pulled you close, whispering “I love you” into your ear a thousand times. That night had ended with you and him in bed, entangled up with each other, panting and mumbling ‘I love you’s into each other's ears.

You smiled when you remembered the soft memory from that night.

“Jody, just don't let me fall while I walk down the aisle,” you said, standing up. Claire and Alex helped with the gown.

“Oh honey, I won't let you fall but if I do Dean will be there to catch you. That boy will always catch you before you hit the ground,” Jody said.

Jody Mills, you met her after you became a permanent resident of the bunker. She was a good friend of the Winchesters but she was more like a mother to you than a friend. She was there whenever you needed to talk. She supported you always so when Dean asked you about who will walk you down the aisle, you went straight to Jody’s house and asked her the question. She was surprised but eventually agreed, with tears in her eyes.

“We're ready,” Donna poked her head into the room and said.

Alex and Claire walked out of the room before you.

You linked your right arm with Jody’s, taking a deep breath, you tried to calm down your racing heart.

“Let's do this.”

You walked out of your dressing room and started to walk towards the garage where the wedding crremony was being held.

When you reached the garage you saw a carpet was spread out for you, with flowers sprinkled over it. You looked up and saw Claire and Alex standing on the side, Jack standing there with your wedding bands. The few guests you had invited - Bobby, Charlie, Rowena, Donna sitting at the front. You saw Sam standing beside Dean, he had a black tux on. He was looking right at you with a small smile on his face. Just beside him, stood Dean, a soft smile playing on his lips.

You started to tear up when you saw him. This was all you ever wanted - to spend the rest of your life with the man you love, your soulmate.

You walked towards Dean, Jody letting go of your arm. He extended his hand at you. You took his hand and stood beside him. You looked up at Dean, your eyes locking with his jade ones. His eyes were moist and you were yourself trying not to cry.

“You look beautiful,” he said softly, a shy smile playing on your lips.

“Should we begin?” Cas asked. You had asked Cas to officiate your wedding because who would be better other than an angel?

You and Dean nodded.

Cas began the ceremony but you weren't paying attention to what he was saying. You were too mesmerised in Dean's eyes. You mind wandered off to all the times you had spent with Dean, hunting with each other or just spending a lazy day in bed with him.

You were broken from your thoughts when Cas asked if you wanted to say your own vows. You both nodded and Dean started to speak.

“Y/N, five years ago, when your car crashed into mine I didn't know then that I would be standing at here with you today. I love your coffee obsessed, nerdy self who is also a badass hunter who doesn't take any bullshit from others. Being with you brings the best out of me. I promise that I won't let anything happen to you ever even if I have to walk through fire to keep you safe. I promise I will never take you, us for granted. I promise to love you as you love me, through all hardship, darkness, and pain to reach for our joys, our hopes, and always with honesty and faith and lastly I promise to never make fun about how much you love the Harry Potter books.”

You wiped the tears that were now rolling down your cheek. “Y/N.” You heard Cas say your name and you started to speak.

“Dean, today when I woke up I had to catch my breath to believe this is real, that I am really marrying my true love, my heart's desire, my soulmate. I couldn't make myself believe that it was all real and not one of Chuck's plans, but after seeing you standing here, waiting for me, all my doubts flew out of the window. I promise to always love and cherish this relationship even when you are annoying me. I promise to always protect you and keep both of us from harm's way. I promise to always love and support you. I promise to always leave the last slice of my pizza for you and lastly I promise to not roll my eyes everytime you say a stupid movie reference.”

Tears were now flowing freely down your cheek. You didn't even bother to wipe them. You looked at Dean and saw him sniffling. His green eyes clouded with emotions. He mouthed “I love you”.

“It's time to bring in the rings,” Cas announced and

Jack walked in with the rings, “Y/N and Dean will now exchange rings to symbolize their commitment. Dean now you may take Y/N’s hand in yours and repeat these words after me.”

Dean repeated the words after Cas with a grin on his face, and took the ring from Jack, putting it on your finger.

“Y/N, please take Dean's hand and repeat these words.”

You repeated the words after Cas, with a smile playing on your lips. You smile got bigger when you took the ring from Jack and put it on Dean's. You and Dean said your I do's, your heart heavy with emotions.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Dean you may kiss your bride now,” Cas said and for the first you noticed, he had a big smile on his face too.

Dean pulled you into a kiss, the first kiss as husband and wife. You immediately melted into the kiss. Cheers erupted throughout the garage but you didn't pay any attention to them. You were finally married to Dean, the love of your life and that was what mattered the most. Dean finally let go of you and looked at you with a stupid grin on his face.

“Hey Mr. Winchester,” you whispered.

“Hey Mrs. Winchester,” Dean said.

“We are married.”

“We are married, sweetheart,” Dean sighed.

“Now let's go save the world,” you smiled.

“Let's go save the world, together.”

Forever taglist - @donnaintx @devil-in-my-boots @amandamdiehl @miss-nerd95 @foxyjwls007

Dean/Jensen Taglist - @akshi8278 @mrsjenniferwinchester @jensengirl83 @defenderrosetyler