#salem's religious chatter

[the-elder-polls]

dunno if i've mentioned this yet but i particularly do not like the official elder scrolls tarot deck and it makes me so sad :(

[tequila-tekaylah]

My Lala died. My mom called me while I was in Salem with my sister, and said we need to talk when we get home. I could tell something was up from her voice, and my sister and I speculated the whole drive home. Maybe my godmothers health had finally gotten the best of her, or my big brother needed surgery for his back problems. Maybe we had a visitor at the house we weren’t expecting.

But not this. Never this. My grandma was never supposed to die. She was supposed to live forever out of spite, as our Ashkenazi roots dictate we should. She came to MA to visit for my sisters graduation. My brother was here too, because he had felt an intense need to come up to see us even though he wasn’t sure why.

My grandma left for her trip to the Galapagos and Peru on Sunday. Today my mom got a call from the travel agency. She was snorkeling, and they think she had a heart attack. She was so adventurous, and I’m grateful that she was doing something she loved when she left this world. We always said if she were ever to die, she wouldn’t go quietly. I suppose in her way, she didn’t.

But now all I can think of is flying home, to that big empty house, and never seeing her again. Not picking her up from the airport the day after I got home, and listening to her excitedly tell me about her trip. Not to hear her nagging me for leaving too many dishes in the sink or not eating my food before it expired. Not her senseless chattering on the drive to Costco, or her silly goofing off. We joked so much about what I’d get to do to the house if she ever died. But now that I know she’s not coming home, I don’t want to touch a single thing of hers. I don’t want to move it, I don’t want to clear out the house because then she really will be gone.

I feel like I can’t breathe. She wasn’t religious. In fact, she was pretty anti-religion. A principled atheist jew with a lot of attitude. I know I’m just like her. I think that hurts my mom more in all of this, because she sees her mom every time she looks at me. We’re practically the same person. There’s nowhere for her to go after this, she’s just gone. Death is for the living, as my mom put it. Im glad I got a few more pictures of her last week. The last picture I’ll ever have of her is a Polaroid I snapped when we had a picnic on the beach down the cape. She was grumpy that I’d finally gotten one. But I’m so grateful I did.

[the-elder-polls]

happy halloween & blessed samhain y'all!

may the gods ever bless and keep you and yours

[the-elder-polls]

by you don’t believe in sin, does that mean you believe all actions are morally subjective? If not, by what metric do you judge actions as moral or immoral?

Gettin into the weeds of this subject a little bit I know lol sorry

i do believe in moral good and moral bad! i believe murder is morally bad, but it's also subjective, because murder in the case of self defense is very different from murder in the case of deliberate homicide. y'know?

the metric by which i judge moral good and bad is how much suffering to living things that it causes. say your family is starving. is it more morally good to just obey the law and starve to death, or is it more morally good to defy the law and steal food so that you and your family can eat? to me, the latter is the morally good decision because it helps avoid the suffering of living things

even still, "sin" is not a thing for me because you can do wrong, you can morally fail, but it isn't spiritual pollution. it's just a mistake. and mistakes can be repaired.

[the-elder-polls]

Man(gender neutral), I wish I knew how to draw good so badly rn lol, I wanna draw all 64 of my The Last Dragonborns as The Last Supper painting lol. (+My OC Alex who is a Self Insert and also like a follower in the TES universe/and secondary protagonist/"player character"). So it'd actually be like 65 OCs I'd draw all together in the Bannered Mare lol.

I'm not really religious, so idk why the Last Supper paintings have me inspired. 😅😅😅😅😅😅

that'd be one HELL of an art piece