#s.mama's stuff

[eyeofsummer]

on all levels except physical i'm a shipwreck on a shore and the ocean loves me so much that he pushes his waves towards me every moment of his existence because he wants to hold me

[eyeofsummer]

I can't really tell if I'm numb or angry right now and if there's a significant difference between the two knowing the kind of person I am

My skin is too tight on my body. Not sure what I actually mean by that

[eyeofsummer]

It's not too far-fetched of a concept that someone betrayed consistently up to adulthood, be it through action or inaction, would expect betrayal again and do anything in their power to prevent it or at least control how it happens. It's really not far-fetched if you sit down for a moment. But some choose to be dense, it's really pathetic

[eyeofsummer]

i think i kind of feel worse now it feels so bad to say that everything just feels so bad i don't know what to do with myself

[eyeofsummer]

omfg i'm trying to be cute why does my brain have to make it weird i hate it here fml fml fml

[eyeofsummer]

I'm sooooo normal

[eyeofsummer]

Boys when. Boys when. Thoughts before bed. Anyway tops should be allowed to take orders

[eyeofsummer]

How do I ask him if he has Tumblr notifs on without drawing attention to Tumblr TT /lh

[eyeofsummer]

I'M NORMAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL STOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP

[eyeofsummer]

Completely normal guy giggling and kicking his feet and twirling his hair over the thought of getting scolded

[eyeofsummer]

Some hero you are

[eyeofsummer]

I shouldn't even be complaining about dumb meaningless things like this, just shut up won't you? What the hell is my problem? I'm always looking for things to make it seem like my life is so terrible, stupid attention seeker. I don't even self-deprecate. I'm not belittling myself, You can't *be*little something that's never been anything but "little". Just shut up. I'm so sick of myself. I hate myself more than anyone could ever hate me

[eyeofsummer]

I don't understand why I'm so insecure lately. Well, moreso than usual. I've never really liked myself much, or at all actually, but I feel so weird about everything I do now. I don't understand what my problem is. I don't really let myself be at all, I don't allow myself to act in my unusual fashion. It makes me nervous, I feel like I'm infringing on something and I don't even know what that's even supposed to mean. Once again something is seriously wrong with me on a base level and there's nothing I can do but suck it up and smile about it

Mama's being so stupid right now~!

Even saying that felt wrong

[eyeofsummer]

hope i dddddd..... [can't say die in my sleep because it'll make things worse] do a. mental health. yeah exactly

[eyeofsummer]

fucking sick of that man always acting like i'm the problem. maybe you should think about why i never raise my voice at anyone else in the family but you. fucking kill yourself

[eyeofsummer]

Giggling kicking my feet thinking about stuffs and things before bed