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alighieri-sparda · 4 years ago

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DMC Boys Sucking Male S/O Off

➤ Masterlist | Rules

Yeah, I know it’s not a request, but I had this idea a month ago and just now I decided to write it out. I took a while to finish it (as usual), but here we go.

I have a lot of Male!Reader stuff prepared to be written. Boys also deserve attention from our handsome devils, right?

Enjoy. :)

WARNING: Explicit descriptions of oral sex under the cut.

‣ ‣ ‣

Dante

It is one of his favorite things to do on you. No matter if it’s part of foreplay or just a random blowjob in the office, Dante likes giving you as much as he likes receiving it.

When he wants to have you in his mouth, you can easily catch him staring at you and then sense him behind you. His arms embrace your shoulders as he guides his mouth to your ear and asks you to sit on his chair and let him have some fun.

“I mean… You want it now?”

“Why not? You and I aren’t that busy anyway,” says Dante, trying to run away from his responsibilities.

Even though Dante can take you entirely in his mouth with no difficulties, he usually starts slowly to tease you. He loves when you start to beg him to go deeper with his mouth in a muttered and shaky tone of voice.

Dante is also very much skilled at deepthroating. This teasing devil is aware how much you like it when you can feel the tip of your shaft touching the back of his throat and how difficult it is to keep quiet when he does it, so Dante rather saves it for when you’re close. Thereby, he can make sure he’s going to swallow everything, wasting no drop of your seed.

He’s probably going to touch himself while he has you in his mouth. Not only to please himself but mainly because the grunts and moans he lets out against your sensitive skin make you throb even harder between his lips.

Read his actions while he’s sucking you off. If he’s constantly grabbing your thighs and being too slow, Dante can’t wait to have an opportunity to fuck you. But if his actions are a bit intense and he’s moaning too much against you, it is a not-so-subtle request to get laid. If you’re not sure about what he wants, it’s okay to ask him when you’re both done.

That’s pretty obvious at this point but it has to be said regardless: Dante has no gag reflex. Don’t be afraid to cum at his throat and neither feel guilty if your mind was too numb to warn you were close. Dante knows when you’re about to come and he always swallows, so that’s no big deal for him.

Nero

Oh, if it isn’t a hell of an amazing experience. Nero somehow manages to make you feel that’s the first time you’re feeling his delicious mouth around your flesh. Perhaps the factor that increases his ability is his true desire of doing it since he explicitly prefers to give you head instead of receiving. He likes when you do it on him of course, but if he had to choose, the answer is pretty obvious.

Most of your make-out sessions with Nero will end up with him kneeling before you and teasing you to death.

Though he doesn’t necessarily want to make you beg for him or whatever, even if he thinks that’s a nice extra. Nero enjoys the sight of you gradually losing your composure, going from a few simple gasps to a bunch of contained groans and desperate hip movements.

“That serious already? Let me take care of it then.”

He’s usually submissive to your commands, so take advantage of it and tug his hair to control his head or thrust against his mouth, moving your hips at the pace you enjoy. When Nero wants to dominate, he’d go for some lazy and controlled handjobs on you.

And yes, he loves when you facefuck him. This is important.

Nero has an average experience. With a bit of effort, he can take your cock entirely in his mouth — and even not so skilled at deepthroat, Nero doesn’t mind choking sometimes. He’s naturally too giving, so he’s constantly trying to take you deeper and make you feel more satisfied at each attempt.

Similar to his uncle, Nero is a damn switch. However, unlike Dante, Nero will always act the same when he’s sucking you off, whether he wants to fuck you or be fucked. What will determine his preference is the sentence he says after swallowing your cum.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Nero would say before preparing you to be fucked in the nearest safe spot. But if he wants you to fuck him instead, you’d hear something like “Why don’t take care of me now, hm?”

Sudden blowjobs in empty alleyways? It’s more likely than you think.

The lack of experience of Vergil obviously reflects on V. Much likely his complete part, V doesn’t rush his apprenticeship: he acts slowly, repeating what you do on him. He’s more used to submission than Vergil though, so even after learning everything, V can switch between dominating you or just obeying your commands.

During his first attempts, you are completely free to control his head movements or just face-fuck him, but always remember to be gentle to the fragile poet. V can easily choke if you go too hard on him — but the fact that he doesn’t complain about choking makes you think of interesting possibilities.

He likes the idea of swallowing, but you’ll prefer to cum on his lips and face instead of doing it directly on his throat. Eventually, it’s going to become his preference.

V may not be skilled at blowjobs in the beginning, but his devilish hands compensate it all. He’s constantly stroking the part of your shaft he cannot take in his mouth yet and massaging his balls/inner thighs. It helps him a lot since he knows the pace you like when he has his hands on you.

If you want to press his “hornier” button, caress his hair and praise him. Tell V how fast and well he’s learning, and how good his mouth feels around you. Extra points if your voice is trembling due to the pleasure you demonstrate you’re feeling.

Speaking of which, you better don’t hold back a moan because V won’t do it either. This new sensation is so good for him, feeling his mouth so full with your throbbing and wet sex, so he takes his chance to stimulate you even more with the vibrations of his groans around your sensitive skin.

Once he learns what to do and gets confident about his skills — which won’t take much longer if you're praising him correctly —, V will realize he prefers to give you oral instead of receiving it. No matter if he’s going to fuck you until you’re both exhausted or if he’s about to be gently pegged by you, V will always kneel before you to at least tease your cock with his mouth.

“It’s not my fault you taste so good, prince.”

Vergil

At first, you’d avoid asking him to suck you off. Vergil is still pretty inexperienced and you’d be afraid to make him uncomfortable somehow. But Vergil himself will come up with this idea during foreplay, not exactly giving you the chance of objection though. He just knees and hopes you get what he will do.

“Vergil, what are you—”

“Just let me do it.”

His first movements are going to be gentle and almost experimental. It’s not like he has absolutely no clue of what to do because… well, he has a dick himself and you already satisfy him like this very much. He only needs to get used to having his mouth full while he tries to satisfy you.

He tries to imitate what you usually do on him with some variations. Since Vergil cannot take you entirely in his mouth at first, he decides to stroke the part he doesn’t reach. Depending on your reactions, Vergil surely will risk some attempts to take your entire shaft.

Vergil won’t ask for it, but he will be very grateful if you gently guide his head at the pace you prefer — he already enjoys it when you tug his hair while he fucks you anyway. Do not be afraid of giving you some tips and do not contain your reactions: those factors are important for him because that’s how he knows if you’re liking it or not.

But when he finally learns how to do it properly and what you like, don’t even think about trying to control his movements. Vergil will press you against the mattress and suck you off while he spreads your legs and grips your thighs, preparing you for what will come next.

He doesn’t like the idea of swallowing at his first attempts, so take care not to surprise him and choke the poor devil: warn when you’re close. After some practical lessons, however, you’re always going to feel a low satisfied grunt against your shaft whenever you cum between his soft lips.

It’s also important to say that Vergil won’t deny you a blowjob — woah, never —, but he usually doesn’t offer to do it. So, if you want it, you will have to ask him.

#OH YES THE SIN #don't worry im working on some requests #dmc #devil may cry #dmc headcanons #devil may cry headcanons #devil may cry x reader #dmc dante #dmc vergil #dmc nero #dmc v #dante x reader #dante x male reader #nero x reader #nero x male reader #vergil x reader #vergil x male reader #v x reader #v x male reader

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astriiformes · 3 years ago

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💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

Always the hardest question, especially with my very bad imposter syndrome but! I actually have a real answer!!

I feel like I am good at blending tones in my writing, and specifically that I have a real knack for writing humor (or at least somewhat humorous/lighter/funny moments) even in fairly serious stories, in a way that makes my voice distinctive without being jarring or taking away from important emotional moments. When I was doing Whumptober, people pretty consistently commented that they liked that my stories were often funny even when they were still really dark, and in one of my most recent fics -- Variations and Fugue on a Theme, which dealt with the fallout of a really traumatic emotional moment in canon -- I wrote in a small running gag that, going by the comments, seems to have stolen the show, even while people were also saying I had made them cry about the characters and had really hit on the important emotional beats they wanted to see as well.

I think it makes me feel especially powerful because a lot of media has NOT really figured out the "Did you know you can be funny in dark/serious moments without it undercutting the moment being dark/serious" (looking at you, MCU) and also makes my stories a little more unique. It is cool to apparently be good at being funny, but especially to also be smart about being funny!

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

Cop-out sort of, but any ongoing longfic. One reason I wish I was better at writing longfic is because there's just a very different vibe to the comments on multichapter stories that makes me feel extremely validated as a writer. Most recently, the comments I got on Aurum Horizontale brought me so much joy, which was especially neat seeing as CR1 is a somewhat smaller fandom than some of the ones I write for (that one also had the extremely fun niche of commenter that had just gotten into the show via the Legend of Vox Machina animated series, because it was totally accessible to new fans seeking out content once they'd finished the season; it was really fun all around!)

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

I really, really want to write a slightly out-there, incredible messed-up Wittebane brothers (and grimwalker?) TOH fic where I just really dig into my reservoir of Biblical allusions and also slowly accumulating pile of headcanons about Caleb Wittebane. Love a character that we know approximately three things about who is probably going to remain a ghost haunting the narrative and never actually appear in the show. Unfortunately, I am very attached to him.

THAT SAID to properly do it, it would need to be Weird, and I haven't yet landed on the exact right brand of Weird, so it remains a vague concept and nothing more for the moment, at least.

#ask meme #my writing

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depressedacadamia · 4 years ago

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Lightweight

Summary: Will Solace can’t realy hold his alcohol but Nico doesn’t really mind.

A/N: 2 fics in one week? Oh my gods, who is this writer and what have they done with Persephone? Enjoyy yall- I really enjoyed writing this one!

Read on A03

“Hands off sunshine!” Nico warned as he held the bottle of vodka above his head, his arms outstretched.

“Give meee!” Will cried, his hand sloppily hitting Nico’s arm. The summer air was warm and Nico could feel the thin layer of sweat on his forehead- considering he had to stay in his tiptoes to hold the bottle above Will.

“Will, you didn’t even drink that much! How are you so drunk?”

“You don’t love me! Do you love me?”

“Of course I love you, ya little drunk shithead. You are totally wasted, no matter how many times you will doubt it,” Nico sighed, throwing Will’s arms over his shoulders in a vain attempt to carry him back to Cabin 7.

Will gave one long blink. Then another. “ Where are we going?”

“To your cabin. I’d shadow travel but I've seen a regular person’s reaction to that, I don’t want to see what chaos would come out of shadow travelling a hot drunken mess.”

“Did you just call me a mess?” Will pouted.

“Yes but I called you a hot mess. Focus on that part. It was mostly a compliment.”

“You’re sooo mean to meee. Do you even love me?”

“Yes I love you, stop being so heavy and carry your own legs please.” Nico shifted his back under the weight of his boyfriend's entire body and tried to manage a few steps- they would have been easy if his boyfriend wasn’t so damn fit and if he himself wasn’t slightly inebriated.

“Ni-” Will hiccuped. “-Co!”

“Yes?”

“Do you love me?”

Nico sighed again, slightly frustrated by the constant question. “Yes I love you, ask again and the answer may vary.”

“Phi Phi is so much nicer than you,” Will grumbled, his head leaning into the crook of Nico’s neck. Nico could smell the twinge of alcohol in Will’s breath along with the regular smell of the spearmint gum he would always be chewing.

“Phi Phi?” Nico snorted. “ Who in the name of God is that?”

“Your stepma! Phi Phi! She gave me so many nice flowers last time we visited!” Will paused before giving Nico an innocent look of disapproval. “ Do you not remember Phi Phii?”

Will accidentally dragged out the last ‘ee’ syllable in the word ‘phi phi’ making it sound like he was a 3 year old trying to read for the first time. Nico almost shivered at the mention of his stepmother; the last time he checked, she still had at least 157 variations of dandelions that she could turn him into the second he did anything going against her liking- afterall, she may have been the Goddess of the Spring but she was still the Queen of the Underworld.

“Yes, of course I remember Phi Phi.” He lowered his voice as he muttered the next few words under his breath to prevent them from being heard. “ How could I forget her and her stupid dandelions?”

“Phee Pheeee!”

“What about Phi Phi?”

Will paused for a few seconds. He tilted his head looking at Nico. “ Do you love me?”

Nico, awfully frustrated, decided to not answer the question honestly. “ No, I do not love you right now. Drunk you is a mess whom not only subject hops but also cannot walk coordinately.”

Nico did not think Will would take anything he said seriously but to his horror he was greatly mistaken. Will’s slow and steady breathing quickly became a rapid torrent of quick and unsteady breathing. Nico had thought that he was just mucking about but then he felt warm tears stain his shirt.

Tears streamed down Will’s flushed face, his freckles were almost invisible as the tears continued running down his face like a current. His chest racked with sobs and he pulled away from Nico and collapsed on the ground. He buried his head in his hands and let his heart beat harder with every cry that left his lips.

Nico watched, his mouth dropped. He had no idea what he had done or how to make it better. He reached out, trying to console the drunk and overly emotional Will but instead found himself feeling guilt beyond any he had ever felt before.

“Will?” He whispered. “ Will? You’re drunk. I was just joking, I didn’t mean anything I just said.”

Will's loud sobs started to slowly quieten down but the tears still freely ran across his face. He glanced upwards at Nico, his eyes rimmed red. His bottom lip wobbled and his eyes were wet.

“But.. but you said that you don’t love me…”

“I was joking. I was lying. I do love you. Only you.”

Nico plopped himself beside Will and shuffled himself closer, awkwardly. He tried to wrap one of his arms around Will but he found it to be too short and only barely touched Will’s other shoulder. So instead, he settled for rubbing soothing circles on Will’s back, calming him and forcing him to breathe slower.

“How do I know you are not lying to me now?” Will’s eyes were innocent and once again brimming with tears. “I always worry that you're just lying to me and then one day you’re going to just go poof and stupid me will be all sad.”

Nico thought he could feel his own eyes stinging- was this how Will really felt? Was Nico that bad a boyfriend that Will felt that every word, every kiss, every moment was a lie? Or did Will just consider himself so unloveable that every good thing that ever happened to him was just temporary or fake?

Nico glanced at the blonde eyelashes that were clad together with tears.

What happens inside that gorgeous head of yours, Solace?

“I love you William Andrew Solace. I choose you. You’re my significant other, significant annoyance- whatever you want to call it. And if I ever disappear, you’re sure as hell coming with me.”

Will wrapped his arms tightly and unexpectedly around Nico’s waist- causing Nico to be pushed onto his back while Will snuggled into his abdomen. Nico could feel his t-shirt stick to him due to the tears from Will’s face.

“I love you soooo much,” Will murmured into Nico’s stomach. Nico could feel his breathing hitch at the words. Nico kissed Will- light and innocent. That's what the kiss meant. He could taste the salty tears on Will’s lips and the bitter aftertaste of the vodka on his tongue. The kiss was quick, chaste and it may have not satisfied Will’s desire but it made him feel safe.

And to both of them, that’s all that mattered.

Will awoke the next morning with several life regrets but none as strong as the stupid amount of alcohol he had decided to consume the previous day or night. He could barely remember anything- let alone figure out where in the name of Zeus he was. The cabin seemed dreary but at the same time it was beautiful. It was dark and light and terrifying and beautiful all at the same time.

Wait. What Cabin was this? Whose Cabin was this? He didn’t think there was any Cabin that was so roomy with such a lack of accommodation. He almost felt like he was in a Cabin for a child of the Big Three- He remembered the one time he had taken a glimpse of the Poseidon Cabin and he remembered it to be huge- something he deeply envied Percy for.

It was only until Will noticed the black clad figure kneeling beside him that he realised where exactly he was. Beautifully tousled hair, gorgeous lips and eyes that one could get lost in forever- he only knew one person with features so defining. The question was, what on earth was he doing in Cabin 13?

Cabin 13- His boyfriend's cabin. Immediately, Will scrambled upwards. He looked Nico straight in the eye and tried to recall to what extent he embarrassed himself as a drunken idiot last night.

“How bad was it?”

“Shall I sugar coat it or give it to you straight?”

Will managed to squeak out, “Give it to me straight.”

“You tried to get into my pants and talked about how hot you thought I was.” Nico shrugged nonchalantly.

Will blanched and he immediately wished that had asked for the sugar coated version. He heard Nico laughing and he could feel his nerves both calm down and panic at the same time. Nico’s laugh was calming and beautiful and warm and made him feel all fuzzy like he was under a fluffy blanket. But he worried for what reason Nico was laughing.

“Calm down sunshine. I was joking- you should have known that I wouldn’t have been able to give it to you straight. You just asked dumb questions and cried a bit.”

“I cried?”

“It’s not a big deal.” Nico batted his hand. Will collapsed back onto the bed with an ‘ow’ and groaned something unintelligible about it being ‘too early in the morning for this’.

“It’s actually 1 in the afternoon but to each their own I guess.”

Will wanted to shout WHAT but he did not want to rack his head with an already painful headache so he instead settled for dropping his jaw.

“Close your mouth sunshine unless you plan on using it,” Nico mumbled. Will felt his jaw drop further before he snapped it back and swore internally. He made a mental note to never have a hangover near Nico because he would use it to his advantage.

“So why exactly did I cry yesterday?” Will asked as he sipped from the glass of water that had been placed at the bedside by, he could only assume, Nico. Will noticed that when asked that question, Nico tensed, his hands digging slightly into his jeans.

The corner of Will’s lips tilted upwards. “ What did you say?”

“What makes you think I said anything? Drunk you is a crybaby and you know it,” Nico huffed defensively, refusing to meet Will's eye.

“Yeah but you’re acting guilty.”

“What if I killed some boring skeleton zombie this morning and I’m only now mourning their already dead body?”

“Spare me the dark and frankly dry humour,” Will deadpanned, excited to hear the cause of his outburst yesterday.

Nico mumbled something under his breath, all while looking away from Will.

“What?”

“I said,'' Nico took a deep breath. “That I didn't love you-”

“-What?”

“But it was a joke!”

Will could feel his stomach churning and he couldn't tell if it was from the hangover or the current situation. He managed to resist a gag. “How is that a joke?”

Will’s voice was so hoarse and weak, Nico thought that he was going to break into tears all over again and he knew that if that happened, he would end up with tears flooding his own face.

“It’s because, well, drunk you kept on asking Do you love me and of course I do but drunk you is just so heavy and you kept on asking and so I of course gave a sarcastic quip and you just burst into tears and..”

Will stared at Nico and for a second, Nico was terrified that he had really blown it.He watched as his boyfriend buried his face into his hands and began shaking. His back was shivering and Nico could hear little whimpers.

“Fuck.” Nico had subconsciously let the profanity pass through his lips.

Will, suddenly, threw his head back and his laugh echoed around the empty Cabin 13. Nico felt stuned. Was he laughing in rage? Should he run?

“Will. I am so so sorry. I swear, it was a joke. I love you, I chose you William Andrew Solace. I’ll do it again and again.”

“You,” Will wheezed. “ Idiot! Did you really get so worked up over drunk me being dramatic? I was being hyperbolic!”

Nico tilted his head ever so slightly but his ravenous locks still fell over his eyes however he didn’t seem to mind as he made no effort to move it from his sight.

“So… you aren’t mad?”

“I mean I won’t reject any special treatment if you were thinking of offering as a way of showing your sorrow,” Will teased.

“Shut it.” Nico pouted. “ Do I not get a dramatic love confession? I gave you two.”

Will raised his eyebrow and threw his legs over the edge of the bed. “ If I can count correctly, and I can, I only recall one dramatic love confession.”

“You were too drunk to remember the first one.”

Will let out a groan before softly smiling.”I love you. I choose you, Nicolo Di Angelo.”

“Don’t call me Nicolo!”

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quibblesandscribbles · 3 years ago

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Centaurworld Rewrite: A Serious Adventure AU - S1E1 Outline

I’m doing rewrite outlines, prepare for some AU. That being said, I still like several parts of Centaurworld a lot, namely Rider, Horse, Wammawink, and whatever the hell is going on with the Nowhere King, and hope there’s a second season to watch (which I will if Netflix doesn’t ruin our hopes and dreams).

Anyways, here’s like, a rewrite or whatever. I will probably post the outlines as I go, episode by episode. Will I get to them all? ADHD-willing, we’ll see. Also feel free to use these ideas/outlines? I don’t mind.

Also assume there are songs in this even if I don’t specifically mention all of them. Also I guess this rewrite kinda chains the 1st and 2nd episodes together as a two parter? Maybe, idk.

Also I’ll preface this with this too: I ship Wammahorse, yes I SHIPSHIP it. Moving on.

Some headcanons before we start:

Warworld (*the world Rider and Horse are from) is a Low Fantasy Setting, there IS magic, but it comes in two variations, either very subtle low-powered but relatively uncommon, or Terrifyingly Powerful and so extremely rare to the point that it’s not very well known and “just myths” (usually for Big Baddies)

Ideas for Horse’s Degree of Sapience Prior to Worldhopping:

A: Horse was just a regular, non-magical horse, and their exposure to the Artifact and Centaurworld has essentially made them a Fully Uplifted Animal. - This is interesting, but ultimately a difficult idea to convey because it would require a lot more setup and wouldn’t exactly fit Horse’s characterization without some rework. This is an amazing idea, but I won’t be using it because it would slow things down too much.

B: Horse is a low-fantasy magic steed raised as warhorse/war asset, who is much smarter than your average animal steed/companion similar to a DND Ranger’s pets, or Mabari from Dragon Age, or a Ranger Horse from John Flanagan’s ‘Ranger’s Apprentice.’ The combined exposure to the Artifact and Centaurworld could account for her gaining speech and her body expressing limited physical adaptation to Centaurworld’s different physics (her body’s new extended range of motion for example) but of course I’ll be limiting this because having stakes make it more fun imho. This is my favorite, I’m using this.

Horse would’ve been considered a very valuable war asset (trained warhorses are like, historical ferraris, expensive as hell, i can only imagine what low-magical smart warhorses would be valued at), though still ultimately expendable for the war effort like anything else

Let Horse have horse behaviors (*can you tell I haven’t really left my horse phase behind lol)! Nipping and grooming behaviors as affection or warnings, ear positions to indicate mood, grazing to eat, laying down only when truly relaxed, sleeping standing up. COME ON.

Centaurworld is a High Fantasy world with an Absurdist bent but with darker undertones, similar to how Adventure Time is, with an extremely high saturation of magic, maybe you could even theorize that due to the Splitting of the Two Worlds that all the magic is being Dammed up in Centaurworld like a river or reservoir, this could be a future plot thread that could be picked up in a later season.

Basic Changes:

Durpleton, Glendale, Ched and Zulius are supporting cast, not main

Durpleton is less stupid and more of a Kronk-expy: a little dim but ultimately kind/means well, has at least 1 life skill he’s good at buried in there though for the life of me I can’t think of one right now.

Glendale’s Narrative Framing: Glendale is amazing, but the kleptomania will be allotted ONE (or two) joke mentions but narratively isn’t treated like one after, somehow establish that her kleptomania is directly intertwined with her anxiety levels. Are there other denizens of the Valley that know the Herd? Are they mad at Glendale for stealing things? Does Wammawink have to constantly run interference to cover for Glendale? Probably.

Make Ched look like less of a pointless asshole: Have him show concern for his friends’ safety and his suspicion of outsiders, AKA Horse. If he’s going to be a jerk, at least let it serve a purpose.

Zulius can stay roughly the same - Zulius is great okay, just don’t tell me there’s backstory and then NOT TELL OR SHOW US ANY CLUES about what said backstory/history IS! (other than forcing us infer/project the headcanon[?] that him and Splendib might’ve been exes, from how they act around each other without any other context/visual/or confirming exposition we literally know nothing other than Splendib and him split/had a nasty falling out and Splendib took the glittercats and the career in the divorce.)

S1E1: Hello Rainbow Road

Opening scene in Warworld

If these episodes were allowed to be longer (shuddup it’s my AU), have the scene open with Horse sees Rider comes running out of some underground castle ruin catacombs and ominous roaring and clanging behind her as she deliberately sets off a dungeon booby trap (arrows or fire) she must’ve avoided while dungeon crawling earlier, and Horse runs towards her and circles at a canter and then Rider does a Running Mount (mounting a horse while the horse is in motion) and shoots an arrow at that flies offscreen

Smash cut to the DRAWBRIDGE door falling and Rider and Horse come galloping out while dodging some javelins and arrows and 1.5 seconds later 1-4 armored minotaurs (the lizardmen?) riding some coursers (swift horses or horselike creatures idk have fun) gallop behind in hot pursuit.

WARWORLD CHASE/FIGHT SCENE

Rider and Horse take out 2 of the pursuers on the run have Rider stay on horseback, dodge and make 1 pursuer shoot/javelin another 1 into a nasty-looking fall, and then Rider nails another 1 right through the helmet visor with an arrow. Have Rider throw a smoke bomb or something at the 2 remaining ones trying to catch up.

2 Enemies left but Horse is forced to skid to a stop as the suspension bridge approaches, then a tense moment forced to walk in order to escape safely across the suspension bridge which Rider cuts once they’re across. Maybe have 1 of the minotaur pursuers having been on the bridge somewhat behind them before Rider had to cut the line, sending the enemy hurtling down below. The remaining minotaur scout stares at them ominously from the other side before leaving.

Have Rider breath a sigh of relief

Smash cut to Horse and Rider traveling across a wartorn landscape, start Horse’s internal monologue narrative until they finally get to the hill and see the ruins of their village

Everything from this point to Horse getting transported to Centaurworld is the same as canon

Not Actually a DREAMVISION SEQUENCE:

Shot/Animated from Horse’s 1st Person POV: Darkness, the sound of whooshing Horse falls, shimmering flash colors [if this were an actual show pls put a Epilepsy warning at the beginning of the ep], then a loud Splash as Horse falls into Dark Water. POV looks down and we see Horse’s front legs and a bottomless abyss below and a then flash of green and off-white from deep below, then look up to see blue light, see the swimming motions of Horse’s front legs and getting closer to the Blue Light

Horse wakes up, blinking, alone (no Durpleton)

Horse gets up looks around, doesn’t see Rider anywhere and starts makes Whinnying sounds (specifically, Whinnying is a social horse call, like specifically going, “Rider where are you!?” in IRL horse)

“And what are you supposed to be?” the “camera” wheels around to see Ched who has landed on Horse just within reach of her tail so Horse lets out a startled squeal (the Horse noise, not the human one) and does that thing where horses use their tails to swat away insects which sends Ched FLYING as Horse’s squealing morphs into her Talking/Yelling “what the heck is going on?!”

Horse does what panicked horses do, she runs

Horse stumbles into meeting Durpleton, who freaks her out more

Meeting kinda the same as canon but with less constant emphasis on reminding the audience that the writer’s can’t write comedy

Wammawink and Horse meet, Ched flies in and goes “hey that asshole kicked my a-I mean attacked me, but I totally beat ‘em.”

Horse tries to leave, discovers the Barrier, tries to get through, fails multiple times, but only 3-4 attempts shown with time passage show by the time of day changing, have Horse’ talking to herself a bit about how utterly weird the talking words thing is, that this is a “human” thing why is this HAPPENING she needs to get back

Waste less time on the visual gags of the Barrier repelling Horse, also get rid of the Tree Catapult scene because it doesn’t jive with Horse being a horse, why do they know how to make a catapult? Also because I hate how it basically shows us that Horse has no physical danger or chance of injury from being FLUNG around like Pokemon’s Team Rocket.

Have the rest of the centaur Herd come up to and talk to Horse while Horse is trying to get through the Barrier, and Horse talks about the outside and her world and doing things, squeeze in some convo about how there’s no (current) war in Centaurworld and how Horse thinks that that “freedom must be nice.” Anyways these conversations are what has Glendale, Zulius and Durpleton at least considering the ups of leaving.

Durpleton: Durpleton approaches Horse alone and asks about where she’s from, what’s home like, expositiony bits for Warworld and how much Horse needs to get herself and the Artifact back to Rider; Horse should say something offhand, like how she dreamed about exploring the world with Rider after the War seeing new things together, to which we’d cut to a shot of Durpleton looking thoughtful, before asking a completely unrelated question before Horse asks to be left alone. He doesn’t go originally, but gets distracted by something (butterfly?) and trots off.

Wammawink, Ched & Glendale: Atop a hill, Wammawink looks up to see stormclouds gathering off in the distance and comments that they’re going to be in for some rough weather, then goes over to offer Horse food, but gets distracted by some other Valley Denizens who are mad suspicious that Glendale is responsible for something of theirs that’s missing. Leaving Wammawink to go off and have to run interference leaving Glendale to approach Horse alone. Horse will learn that there’s no (current) war in Centaurworld but there was one historically, and Glendale will offhandedly mention that they’ve stolen everything from everyone in the Valley at least 4 times and with the unspoken implication of boredom. Ched will butt in and heckle Horse like, “could you leave any quieter?” and Horse sniping back, ears pinned back and animated horse stress behaviors. And Horse’s last failed attempt at passing the Barrier has them drop the Artifact, and we get a shot of Glendale spotting and eyes widening at seeing the Artifact unattended on the ground, then we get a smash cut of Glendale getting herded away by Ched.

Zulius: Goes over to ask about Horse’s avante garde accessories (her bridle, saddle & armor[barding]), makes comments on her style/aesthetic and asks where he could find some. Horse loses her patience, and says that she Needs to concentrate on getting back to someone they care a lot about and could you please just go away?

Horse: (voiced as a rhetorical question) “Haven’t you ever wanted to go back to someone you loved before?”

Zulius gets a Look on his face, then he’d puff up, cover up the Armor Piercing Question’s effect on him with more bluster and then turn away as it gets later

Around sunset, Horse finally gives in to go ask Wammawink what’s up, and how can they leave.

Wammawink tries to feed them and convince them to stay, but Horse waves her off and moves away while muttering something about coming up with a plan

Speaking of plans, the Herd excluding Wammawink (& Ched) start talking about being bored, and mention Horse saying stuff about exploring the world (taken out of context, deliberately)

Wammawink, smelling the ugly head of discontent, sighs in defeat at not being able to recruit this new outcast in the Herd and approaches a grazing Horse and says she’ll help her through it with her magic(not admitting that the Barrier is her magic working in the first place because it’s not relevant right now okay) but then we get the “What’s magic?” bit from Horse and the rest of the Herd butts in with the Song. They wander off to go to bed afterwards, and Horse wants to go Now but Wammawink says that she’ll help Horse leave the Barrier but only in the morning because “you look tired”

Horse: “That doesn’t matter.” *awkward silence*

Wammawink, sadly: “Of course it does.” *Horse has already walked away*

The sun finishes setting as the wind blows the plants and through Wammawink’s fur (ominously) and she shivers, going back to the campfire

DREAM SEQUENCE: It’s dark, then we get a flashback dream of a younger Rider and Horse, idk a memory of something to showcase them either while in training or really show their Bond okay? End with them sitting around a campfire with other young soldiers and horses, someone is humming something (the first few bars of the Nowhere King’s Lullaby, no actual words yet). Then Dream!Rider turns to face Horse and asks, “how could you?”

Horse: “How could I what?”

Dream!Rider: “How could you leave me behind?” (The humming grows louder, there’s a lute being played, growing discordant)

Then Horse starts calling into the darkness/void, “I’m coming back for you, Rider! Just hang on, alright?!”

Rider: “Oh Horse, it’s already too late for me.”

“Rider!” Horse yells as they jolt awake, standing, because horses typically sleep standing up.

It’s dawn but the wind and stormy weather signs are picking up but not here yet, Wammawink walks Horse to the edge of the Valley barrier and tries to convince Horse to stay here where it’s safe, but Horse refuses to be deterred

Brief shot of Glendale hiding a bunch of things from her Tummy Hammerspace in order to simulate the feeling of stealing things again later, including the Artifact which falls on the ground

A shot of Durpleton seeing and picking up the Artifact and spotting Wammawink and Horse some distance away going toward the barrier’s edge

Wammawink hangs back on a hill, glowy hands and the magic wall flickers and disappears, and Horse immediately breaks into a gallop and disappears into the forest, Wammawink sighs and turns away

Indeterminate amount of time later, Wammawink recasts the Barrier, and Durpleton misses breakfast so Wammawink enlists Ched to help her look for him because Ched can fly

Cut to a shot of Horse dropping from a canter to a trot on the Rainbow Road, it’s grown darker and the stormclouds are in the sky. Distant thunder booms overhead, and a few scattered raindrops start to fall

“Heyyyy! You forgot your necklaceeee!” a shout from behind

Horse looks back and sees a running Durpleton holding the Artifact, and stops, he catches up to Horse and is gasping, “Wow, you run fast, hoooo, *deep breaths* you’re really *another gasp* athletic! Anyways you forgot your Necklace.”

Durpleton ties the broken string into a necklace around Horse’s neck and Horse thanks them and wishes them a safe journey back to the Valley, but as this happens the rain gradually falls harder. Then the sounds of the Rest of the Herd finally catching up happen, and Wammawink mother hens Durpleton and wants take everyone back home but then a loud BOOM of thunder and lightning overhead, and then it starts to Pour down rain, forcing Horse and co to find shelter until it lets up. Maybe have someone mention something about landslides being a possibility? Durpleton asks how they found them so fast, dim remember, then brief flashback.

FLASHBACK: Wammawink and co searching and calling out for Durpleton everywhere in the Valley, and realize that he must’ve followed Horse for some reason when Zulius FINALLY shows up and mentions that he remembers Durpleton saying he was gonna give Horse back her necklace. The recast Barrier is brought down and they leave the Valley to bring back their friend.

Back to the present where the group has taken shelter as the storm picks up more, and thunder booms overhead, Horse has some nervous horse body language going on, then we get to hear her mutter-singing or humming the “I never fear the drums of war” to calm herself down, but with more stanzas please, when asked she says it’s a battle hymn that Rider sang.

If Horse was humming, Wammawink could ask why she doesn’t sing, she’s sure that Horse has a lovely voice

Horse goes “I’m a horse, I don’t sing.”

Wammawink tries to be encouraging, Horse is resistant

Wammawink invites her to eat (AGAIN) but Horse still turns her (love and affection) down (AGAIN!) and says she’s fine with grazing and Glendale pipes in excitedly that they have decided that they want to travel with Horse (Ched pipes up that he didn’t agree to this) but pls help us convince Wammawink and Horse protests but someone points out to ask “do you even know where you’re going” and they have a point

Horse acknowledges this and relents, states some stuff about how she’s not going to slow down much however. Then Glendale, Zulius and Durpleton rejoice, Ched acts tsundere, but Wammawink looks nervous and wrings her hands together and relents that “they’ll go with Horse as far as the nearest Shaman” and Ched will go, “hey don’t you know he-” and Wammawink shushes him quickly with a gigglecake

Wammawink doubles down on the mother henning behavior

Horse doesn’t eat Wammawink’s gigglecakes but grazes by herself nearby, occasionally answering a question or two when engaged by the others (not Wammawink) and Wammawink mentions how the weather probably won’t let up for very long and they should take it slow and that Horse should bundle up

Horse disagrees but its bedtime and a bedtime song occurs in the backdrop as a restless Horse struggles to stay alert and awake but eventually falls asleep

VISION SEQUENCE: A shimmer of soft blue light, then shots of Rider ducking and weaving, her sword flashing as she tries to weave her way through a horde of enemy soldiers, blood spatters, then an enemy archer takes aim at a fleeing Rider, and Horse calls out a warning.

Rider turns her head with a surprised look on her face suddenly just enough that the arrow buries itself into her shoulder instead the middle of her back and then she stumbles, one of her arms going limp, but everything goes dark before we can see if she fell

Everything goes dark and the din of war fades away, we get a shot of Horse’s hooves splashing and making ripples into dark water but the camera doesn’t follow her, we hear Horse’s cries for Rider fade, growing further and further away

Still dark, but in the silence we hear distant sound, drip, drip, drip, drip.

Then the episode ends and the credits roll.

#centaurworld #centaurworld spoilers #centaurworld wammawink #centaurworld rider #centaurworld horse #centaurworld headcanons #centaurworld au #centaurworld rewrite #centaurworld a serious adventure au #wow I suck at naming things #centaurworld season 1 #fixed the ending scene order #your welcome

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theburialofstrawberries · 4 years ago

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The Terror if the cold boys were contestants on a season of RuPaul's Drag Race. Would love all your opinions but here are some scenarios

Crozier and Blanky as the queens from the Mid-west, wary of the New York and LA queens

JFJ (new york queen) and Crozier enemies on sight when JFJ calls Crozier's entrance look "busted". Crozier thinks JFJ is a no-talent instagram queen. This is tested when JFJ wins Snatch Game playing Britannia the national personification of Britain, sticking to her guns even when Ru tells her point-blank during the werkroom walk-through "I think you're in trouble"

Queens have to vote for various titles including "Trade of the season". Pretty much everyone votes Solomon Tozer except Crozier who admits aside to Blanky (mics pick this up) that she voted James Fitzjames. Crozier is like, "I hated to do it I don't even think she looks GOOD but whatever it was the principle of the thing" and Blanky is like [takes a pause from beating her face] "Literally what are you talking about"

Half of JFJ's confessionals are her complaining about how New York queens are oppressed for their talent and how Blanky and Crozier think they're too good to mingle with the other queens

Blanky and Crozier one hundred percent think they're too good to mingle with the other queens. One hundred percent

Edward Gibson is the queen who is repeatedly instructed by the judges to show variation in make-up because she's always coming out in a smoky eye that makes it look like she's got lead poisoning. And in the next runway you know what she does? Comes out in a smoky eye. Girl

Hodgson is a whiny filler queen but the episode she gets eliminated she gets a nice edit about her accepting lesbian aunts who took her in when she had to run away from her homophobic family. So when she does get eliminated it's like "I wish you well" and not "Fucking finally" though it's a little that as well

Sir John Franklin new york queen legend been performing for 15 years is sent home FIRST. Everyone is gagged. Her partner Lady Jane writes a long twitter thread accusing SJF's agent of pressuring SFJ to take part when she wasn't mentally ready, the other queens of sabotage, and RuPaul of ageism

When Hickey make her entrance everyone is like ? Who she lol never heard the name. Keeps to herself, turns out under-the-radar slutty looks, solidly safe for the first half of the season until she has to lip sync for her life (Crozier put her after Blanky in the line-up for the roast challenge) and then something snaps and her confessionals become deranged. After one werkroom walk-through she says "I think RuPaul wants to fuck me." The most followed queen on Instagram of her season

Hickey tries getting Goodsir to stitch her garment in the sewing challenge by confiding she thinks Goodsir is the frontrunner. Goodsir says, pin in his mouth and not even looking away from the sewing machine, "That works on people? Successfully?" Becomes a semi-niche semi-well known reaction image

Goodsir edges out Blanky for Miss Congeniality in her season but Blanky turns out a memorable lip sync on a peg leg (Category was "Yo Hoe Hoe") and is swarmed by all the contestants when she is asked to shantay away. The most self-assured of all the contestants, fan favourite, even had Michelle Visage make excuses for her bad runway looks

Crozier is the dark horse. Middling / bottom for the first half, comes up from behind in the second half to win it all. Reveals after her first win in the workroom that she has never been this sober for this long and she intends to keep at it .... JFJ goes up to her after that and hugs her. They are friends after this

Later when the queens are all talking about their families you can see her in the background telling Crozier something that the mics can't pick up. They are inseparable after this

When it comes to the final lip sync for the crown, Crozier doesn't turn it out exactly....but Hickey basically hands her the crown when she makes the bizarre choice to not lip sync to the song being played...but a totally different song....while standing in one spot and waving her arms like a conductor? Buzzfeed Youtube gets a conductor from the Vienna Philharmonic to react to the video, and the conductor's best guess is that Hickey is conducting Wagner's Das Rheingold. To this day half of Hickey's fanbase is truthers who believe Hickey was set up for the wrong song

#the terror #yes this is edward little erasure but i simbly don't think he has the joy to be a drag queen. I think he's out there somewhere in this AU l #MANY more thoughts on this including JFJ and Hickey returning for All Stars and JFJ eliminating Hickey the clear frontrunner with her chose #and the Hickey-JFJ-Crozier love triangle that exists only in Hickey's head #that Hickey keeps taunting JFJ about and JFJ is like ? he literally lives with me you know this right #anyway I wrote all this instead of watching S13E14 because bob and monet havent come out with their Ruview yet #rpdr

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rigmarolling · 5 years ago

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Historical Holiday Traditions We Really Need To Bring Back

Here comes Santa Claus, and also a bunch of annual holiday Things we do to ensure he commits a truly boggling act of breaking and entering and leaves goods underneath the large plant in the living room.

Because I’ve always got a hankerin’ for the days of yore, here are some historical holiday traditions we really need to bring back:

1. Everything that happened on Saturnalia

Saturnalia was the ancient Roman winter festival held on December 25th--which is why we celebrate Christmas on that day and not on the day historians speculate Jesus was actually born, which was probably in the spring.

Saturnalia was bonkers. As the name suggests, it celebrated the god Saturn, who represented wealth and liberty and generally having a great time.

Above: Their party is way cooler than yours could ever hope to be.

During Saturnalia, masters would serve their slaves, because it was the one day during the year when everybody agreed that freedom for all is great, actually, let’s just do that. Everyone wore a coned hat called the pilleus to denote that they were all bros and equal, and also to disguise the fact that they hadn’t brushed their hair after partying hard all week, probably.

Gambling was allowed on Saturnalia, so all of Rome basically turned into ancient Vegas, complete with Caesar’s Palace, except with the actual Caesar and his palace because he was, you know. Alive.

The most famous part (besides getting drunk off your rocker) was gift-giving--usually gag gifts. Historians have records of people giving each other some truly impressive white elephant gifts for Saturnalia, including: a parrot, balls, toothpicks, a pig, one single sausage, spoons, and deliberately awful books of poetry.

Above: Me, except all the time.

Partygoers also crowned a King of Saturnalia, which was a predecessor to the King of Fools popular in medieval festivals. The king was basically the head idiot who delivered absurd commands to everyone there, like, “Sing naked!” or “run around screaming for an hour,” or “slap your butt cheeks real hard in front of your crush; DO IT, Brutus.”

Oh, wait. Everyone was already doing all that. Hell yes.

(Quick clarification: early celebrations of Saturnalia did feature human sacrifice, so let’s just leave that bit out and instead wear the pointy hats and sing naked, okay? Io Saturnalia, everybody.)

2. Leaving out treats for Sleipnir in the hopes of avoiding Odin’s complete disregard for your property

The whole “leave out cookies and milk for Santa” thing comes from a much older tradition of trying to appease old guys with white beards. In Norse mythology, Odin, who was sort of the head god but preferred to be on a perpetual road trip instead, took an annual nighttime ride through the winter sky called the Wild Hunt.

Above: The holidays, now with 300% more heavy metal.

Variations of the Wild Hunt story exist in a bunch of European folklore--in Odin’s case, he usually brought along a bunch of supernatural buddies, like spirits and other gods and Valkyries and ghost dogs, who, the Vikings said, you could hear howling and barking as the group approached (GOOD DOGGOS).

That was the thing, though; you never actually saw Odin’s hunt--you only heard it. And hearing it did not spark the same sense of childish glee you felt when you thought you heard Santa’s sleigh bells approaching as a kid--instead, the Vikings said, you should be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

Because Odin could be kind of a dick.

Odin was also known as the Allfather, and like any father, he hated asking for directions. GPS who? I’m the Allfather, I’m riding the same way I always ride.

And that was pretty much it: “I took this road last year and I’m taking it again this year.”

“But,” someone would pipe up from the back, “there are houses on the road now--we’re gonna run right into them. We could just take a different path; there’s actually a detour off the--”

“Nope,” Odin would say. “They know the rules. My road, my hunt, my rules. We’re going this way.”

So if you were unlucky enough to have built your house along one of Odin’s favorite road trip sky-ways, he wouldn’t just plow right past you.

He would burn your entire house down--and your family along with it.

Kids playing in the yard? Torch ‘em; they should have known better. Grandma knitting while she waits for her gingerbread Einherjar to finish baking? Sucks to be her; my road, my rules, my beard, I’m the Allfather, bitch.

Above: Santa, but so much worse.

To be fair to Odin, he could be a cool guy sometimes. He just turned into any dad when he was on a road trip and wanted to MAKE GOOD TIME, DAMN IT, I AM NOT STOPPING; YOU SHOULD HAVE PEED BEFORE WE LEFT.

To ensure they didn’t incur Odin’s road trip wrath, the Vikings had a few ways of smoothing things over with Dad.

They would leave Odin offerings on the road, like pieces of steel (??? okay ???) or bread for his dogs, or food for his giant, eight-legged horse, Sleipnir, because the only true way to a man’s heart is through his pet.

People would generally leave veggies and oats and other horse-y things out for Sleipnir, whose eight legs made him the fastest flying horse in the world and also made him the only horse to ever win Asgard’s coveted tap dancing championship.

(Side note: EIGHT legs...EIGHT tiny reindeer...eh? Eh? See how we got here? Thanks, nightmare horse!)

Above: An excellent prancer AND dancer.

And if Odin was feeling particularly charitable and not in the mood for horrific acts of arson, children would also leave their shoes out for him--it was said that he’d put gifts in your boots to ring in a happy new year.

If all that didn’t work and the Vikings heard the hunt approaching, they would resort to throwing themselves on the ground and covering their heads while the massive party sped above them like a giant Halloween rager.

So this holiday season, leave your boots out for Odin and some carrots out for his giant spider horse or you and your entire family will die in a fiery inferno, the end.

3. Yule Logs

Speaking of Scandinavia, another Northern European winter solstice tradition was the yule log. Today, if you google “yule log,” something like this will pop up:

...which isn’t an actual log, but is instead log-shaped food that you shove into your mouth along with 500 other cakes at the same time because it’s CHRISTMAS, and I’m having ME TIME; so WHAT if I ate the whole jar of Nutella by myself, alone, in the dark at 3 am?

But that log cake is actually inspired by actual logs of yore that Celtic, Germanic, and Scandinavian peoples decorated with fragrant plants like holly, ivy, pinecones, and other Stuff That Smells Nice before tossing the log into the fire.

This served a few purposes:

It smelled nice, and Bath and Body Works scented candles hadn’t been invented yet.

It had religious and/or spiritual significance as a way to mark the winter solstice.

It was a symbolic way of ringing in the new year and kicking out the old.

Common belief held that the ashes of a yule log could ward off lightning strikes and bad energy.

Winter cold. Fire warm.

Everybody loves to watch things burn. (See: Odin.)

The yule log cakes we eat today got their start in 19th century Paris, when bakers thought it was a cute idea to resurrect an ancient pagan tradition in the form of a delicious dessert, and boy, howdy, were they right.

In any case, I’m 100% down with eating a chocolate yule log while burning an actual yule log in my backyard because everybody loves to watch things burn; winter cold, fire warm; and hnnnngggg pine tree smell hnnnnggg.

(Quick note: The word “yule” is the name of a traditional pagan winter festival, still celebrated culturally or religiously in modern pagan practice. It’s also another name for Odin. He had a bunch of other names, one of the most well-known being jólfaðr, which is Old Norse for “Yule father.” If you would like to royally piss him off, or if you are Loki, feel free to call him “Yule Daddy.”)

4. Upside down Christmas trees

I just found out that apparently, upside down Christmas trees are a hot new trend with HGTV types this year, so I guess this is one historical trend we did bring back, meaning it doesn’t really belong on this list, but I’m gonna talk about it, anyway.

Side note: Oh, my god, that BANNISTER. I NEED.

Historians aren’t actually sure where the inverted Christmas tree thing came from, but we know people were bringing home trees and then hanging them upside down in the living room as early as the 7th century. We have a couple theories as to why people turned trees on their heads:

Logistically, it’s way easier to hang a giant pine tree from your rafters upside down by its trunk and roots. You just hoist that baby up there, wind some rope around the rafter and the trunk, and boom. Start decorating.

A Christian tradition says that one day in the 7th century, a Benedictine monk named Saint Boniface stumbled across a group of pagans worshipping an oak tree. So, instead of minding his own damn business, he cut the tree down and replaced it with a fir tree. While the pagans were like, “Dude, what the hell?” Boniface used the triangular shape of the fir tree to explain the concept of the holy trinity to the pagans. Some versions have him planting it right-side up, others having him displaying a fir tree upside down. Either way, it’s still a triangle that’s a solid but ultimately very rude way of explaining God. Word’s still out on whether anyone was converted or just rightly pissed off that this random guy strolled into their place of worship, chopped down their sacred tree, and plopped HIS tree down instead. Please do not do that this holiday season.

Eastern Europeans lay claim to the upside-down tree phenomenon with a tradition called podłazniczek in Poland--people hung the tree from the ceiling and decorated it with fruits and nuts and seeds and ribbons and other festive doodads.

(God, who lives in these houses? Look at that. That’s like a swanky version of Gaston’s hunting lodge. Where do I get one? Which enchanted castle do I have to stumble into to chill out in a Christmas living room like that?)

Today, at least in the West, upside-down trees are making a comeback because...I don’t know. Chip and Joanna Gaines said so.

Some folks say it’s a surefire way to keep your cats from clawing their way through the tree and then puking up fir needles for weeks afterward, which checks out for me.

5. Incredibly weird Victorian Christmas cards

So back in the 19th century, the Christmas card industry was really getting fired up. Victorians loved their mail, let me tell you. They loved sending it. They loved getting it. They loved writing it. They loved opening it. They loved those sexy wax seals you use to keep all that sweet, sweet mail inside that sizzling envelope. (Those things are incredibly sexy. Have you ever made a wax seal? Oh, man, it’s hot.)

The problem, though, was that while the Victorians arguably helped standardize many of the holiday traditions we know and love today (Christmas trees, caroling, Dickens everything, spending too much money, etc.) back in 1800-whenever, a lot of that Christmas symbolism was, um...still under construction. No one had really agreed on which visual holiday cues worked and which...didn’t.

Meaning everyone just kind of made up their own holiday symbols. Which resulted in monstrous aberrations like this card:

What the hell is that? A beet? Is that a beet? Or a turnip? Why is it...oh, God, why does it have a man’s head? Why does the man beet have insect claws?

What is it that he’s holding? A cookie? Cardboard? A terra cotta planter?

And then there’s this one:

“A Merry Christmas to you,” it says, while depicting a brutal frog murder/mugging.

What are you trying to tell me? Are you threatening me with this card? Is that it? Is this a threat? How the hell am I supposed to interpret this? “Merry Christmas, hide your money or you’re dead, you stupid bitch.”

Also, why is the dead frog naked? Did the other frog steal his clothes after the murder? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?

Victorian holiday cards also doubled as early absurdist Internet memes, apparently, because how else do I explain this?

Is this some sort of tiny animal Santa? A mouse riding a lobster? Like, the mouse, I get. Mice are fine. Disney built an empire on a mouse. And look, he’s got a little list of things he’s presumably going to bring you: Peace, joy, health, happiness. (In French. Oh, wait, is that that Patton Oswalt rat?)

But a LOBSTER? What’s with the lobster? It’s basically a sea scorpion. Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you saddle up a LOBSTER? I hate it. I hate it so, so much. Just scurrying around the floor with more legs than are strictly necessary, smelling like the seafood section of Smith’s, snapping its giant claws.

This whole card is a health inspector’s worst nightmare. It really is.

I gotta say, though, I am a fan of this one:

Presumably, that polar bear is going in for a hug because nothing stamps out a polar bear’s innate desire to rip your face from your skull than candy canes and Coke and Christmas spirit.

This next one is actually fantastic, but for all the wrong reasons:

I know everyone overuses “same” these days but geez, LOOK at that kid. I can HEAR it. SAME.

If you’ve ever been in a shopping mall stuffed with kids, nothing sums it up better than this card. This is like the perverse version of those Anne Geddes portraits that were everywhere in the late 90s. “Make wee Jacob sit in the tea pot; everyone will--Jacob, STOP, look at Mommy; I said LOOK. AT. MOMMY--everyone will love it.”

Actually, you know what? Every other Christmas card is cancelled. This is the only card we will be using from now on. This is it.

Wait, no. We can also use this one:

Merry Christmas. Here’s a fuckin’...just a dead fuckin’ bird.

#victorian #listory #christmas #holidays #mythtory #norse mythology #odin

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commentaryvorg · 3 years ago

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Digimon Data Squad Dub Comparison Episode 8 - The Singer’s Secret

This is a companion to my commentary on the original Japanese Digimon Savers! Reading my commentary on the original version of this episode (which you can find here) is recommended before reading this dub comparison.

Original name ~ Dubbed name

Masaru Daimon ~ Marcus Damon

Yoshino Fujieda ~ Yoshino “Yoshi” Fujieda

Tohma H. Norstein ~ Thomas H. Norstein

Chika Daimon ~ Kristy Damon

Captain Rentarou Satsuma ~ Commander Richard Sampson

Hitoshi “Neon” Hanamura ~ Neon

[Since several characters share the same name between the original and the dub, quotes from the dub will always be in italics, while quotes from the original will not, in order to distinguish them.]

Since the dub constantly varies which character reads out the title card for each episode, I have to side-eye the fact that it’s Marcus and not Yoshi reading out the title card for Yoshi’s episode.

Marcus: “And now it’s eatin’ time!”

I am amused by the variation on Marcus’s “it’s fightin’ time” catchphrase. Gotta find something to replace the very-Japanese itadakimasu, and this sounds less awkward than a lot of things would in a very dorkily Marcus way.

Reporter: “We won’t name names, but only because we haven’t discovered who she is… *yet*.”

The dub appears to be leaning into the seediness of this whole gossip thing even more than the original, which I guess is fair, since it was already pretty seedy to begin with.

Megumi: “What’s the meaning of this?”

Miki: “How did you, the meekest of us all among DATS members…”

Megumi: “…Manage to snag Hanamura Neon?”

~~~~~

Megumi: “You’re dating Neon?!”

Miki: “That ring a bell, Miss Keep-Secrets-From-Her-Friends?”

Megumi: “We read all about it in the newspaper!”

I actually somewhat prefer Megumi and Miki’s angle in the dub. Instead of being jealous and putting her down as if she doesn’t deserve to date a celebrity because she’s too “meek” or whatever, they only appear to be upset that she didn’t tell them this because they consider themselves someone she’d share this sort of thing with. (Whether they actually are that is another matter; Yoshi never seems especially close with these two. But at least that is a less tiresomely misogynistic thing for them to be being unreasonable about.)

Megumi: “We’ve been getting phone calls one after another since morning!”

Miki: “We’re also getting loads of hate mail from Neon’s fans!”

Megumi: “They’re demanding to know who Fujieda Yoshino thinks she is!”

~~~~~

Megumi: “We’ve been getting phone calls all morning long asking for Yoshi to give interviews!”

Miki: “Not to mention the mail from Neon’s fans. My papercuts have papercuts!”

Megumi: “Everyone wants to know who ‘Yoshi’ is!”

Neon’s other fans are also apparently being a little more reasonable in the dub. Rather than being jealous and hateful (“who she thinks she is” very much carries connotations of them acting like she’s too ordinary to deserve to date a celebrity), they instead seem to be suddenly treating Yoshi like a celebrity as well. Even though jealousy and hate is definitely the way a fanbase would be likely to act to something like this in real life, I do not mind at all that the dub is toning this part down.

Yoshi: “…and I wore a hat. That’s a foolproof disguise!”

Apparently Yoshi subscribes to superhero universe logic if she believed that that was ever going to work. She had a hat and sunglasses; totally couldn’t have possibly been recognised.

Thomas then pulls up the photo that was taken of Yoshi after she took her hat and sunglasses off, amusingly implying that that’s the only reason she got busted and she totally would have been fine otherwise.

Thomas: “Your name, phone number, even your favourite music… Hmm, showtunes.”

Based on his tone, Thomas appears to be judging Yoshi for her taste in music, which doesn’t really seem like the kind of thing he would do. The dub just threw in that quick gag without thinking about if it fit the character.

Also, if, according to the dub, the information published about her included her phone number, why isn’t Yoshi herself the one getting all the phone calls and not her workplace? The dub does not mention her workplace being one of the details that was made public about her, so why Miki and Megumi have been swamped with letters and phone calls about this is a mystery.

Agumon: “What’s an undercover investigation?”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Under what cover?”

Oh hey, dub, remember how Agumon shouldn’t know a whole bunch of human terms because he only recently came into the human world? And hey, look, you can make jokes with that, too, rather than making jokes with things that it doesn’t make any sense for Agumon to be saying!

Tohma: “So if we carelessly break in, we’ll be kicked out before we know it.”

~~~~~

Thomas: “So if we rush in, the Digimon will know that we’re after him.”

Gaomon: “And he’ll run.”

The dub actually gives a much better excuse for why the building’s hi-tech security system means they can’t just rush in: not because the security guards will kick them out, since they should be able to pull DATS authority on that, but rather because it’ll alert Keramon than they’re coming. Good job, dub, fixing a plot hole!

Unfortunately, despite the dub’s attempts to remove Miki and Megumi’s jealousy of Yoshi and turn it into them just having wanted the gossip, which I appreciated, the dub can’t really change the part where they jealously complain that they weren’t the ones to get to (fake) date Neon. Their animations for that are too extreme to really be interpreted as anything else.

Yoshino: “Neon is my childhood friend.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “I knew Neon when we were children.”

Yoshi doesn’t mention the fact that he was specifically her friend. Their conversation later in the episode is still going to clearly establish that they were indeed on friendly terms back then, but I feel it’s a bit of a shame that their friendship isn’t something Yoshi outright mentions here. Her friendship with him is obviously quite important to her and to how she approaches investigating him; it makes sense that she’d want to bring it up.

Yoshino: “He’s completely different than before. He was shorter than me, and he was fat. When he debuted, I didn’t recognise him at all.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “He’s so different than he used to be. He was just a shy little boy back then. I would never have guessed that he’d become such a success story.”

I am very disappointed at the dub leaving out the part where he used to be fat, because that’s an important detail that makes it significantly easier to imagine that he was probably bullied back then. Yoshi doesn’t mention that she literally didn’t even recognise him as a singer, either. The dub’s take on this is focused more on his personality and less on his image.

Under normal circumstances, that shift in focus might be a good thing, but in this particular context, image is an even more relevant thing in the celebrity world than personality is. And image also tends to be more important in terms of how likely a kid is to be bullied. This is watering down the interesting parts of Neon’s character and it makes me sad.

Yoshino: “Hitoshi!”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Hi, Neon!”

Another very significant change: apparently, Neon just is his real name in the dub? Or, if it’s a stage name, Yoshi doesn’t care and is happy to call him by that rather than by whatever name she knew him by as a kid. Neon having an ordinary real name and Yoshino insisting on using it (and him not liking her doing so in public) was a neat aspect of the original that helped showcase the vast contrast between who he used to be and who he is today – again, kind of the whole point of Neon’s character – so I’m very sad that the dub loses this, too.

(The dub also hasn’t mentioned his surname and just calls him “Neon” at all times. Which really doesn’t actually matter at all, because the connotations of the surname Hanamura that I talked about in the original post would obviously be lost on a Western audience (unless they changed his surname to a Western one with similar connotations – now there’d be an actual reason to give a Japanese character a Western name, for once!). But I am disappointed about it for a very silly reason anyway, because Neon’s English voice actor happens to also voice one of those other Hanamuras that I mentioned in that post (who incidentally happens to be one of my favourite fictional characters, which is probably the only reason I care about this), and it would have been a hilarious coincidence for him to have voiced two Hanamuras. He still sort of did anyway, but only sort of.)

Neon: “I told you not to call me by my real name.”

Yoshino: “What does it matter?”

Neon: “You haven’t changed at all.”

~~~~~

Neon: “Hey, wanna blow off work and come to the beach with me?”

Yoshi: “Sorry, I can’t. Too much to do.”

Neon: “Oh well, I guess it’s your loss then.”

Because Neon doesn’t have an ordinary real name in the dub, we also lose the exchange that told us some interesting things about Yoshino and Neon’s characters and how they see each other and their relationship, replaced with completely meaningless fluff. (Inviting her to blow off work and come to the beach with him is a significantly more usually-romantically-coded thing than anything else they actually do in the episode.)

Masaru: “Is this really a mission?”

~~~~~

Marcus: “You do know this guy’s a criminal.”

Miki & Megumi: “Alleged criminal!”

Marcus: “Gimme a break!”

Instead of being exasperated by relationship nonsense, Marcus is instead really sure already that Neon’s a criminal and writing him off as not worthy of respect as a result. Miki and Megumi are being totally reasonable to point out that it’s only allegedly for now.

Masaru: “But Yoshino…”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Yoshi, he’s hiding a Digimon.”

Marcus is way more sure and making a much bigger point of this than Masaru.

(Masaru may have already basically decided as well that Neon’s probably the culprit, but even if he had, I don’t think he’d really have cared. He’s not here for the crime-solving and human-focused side of things – so long as he gets to fight that Digimon, that’s all that matters to him!)

Yoshi and Neon have basically the same conversation about carrots as in the original, but it doesn’t have quite the same meaning without the detail that Neon used to be fat, implying that Yoshino was probably encouraging him to eat them to try and help him lose weight.

Yoshino: “I was exercising parental love because I wanted you to eat healthy and get bigger.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Hey, I was just making sure you grew up big and strong by eating your veggies!”

The one real difference here is the lack of her mentioning parental love, which is a shame because I liked it emphasising the idea of Yoshino the mom friend. Perhaps they removed that because they’re trying to make this relationship seem more actually romantic. I also liked the idea that it really wasn’t that romantic in the original, at least on Yoshino’s end.

Yoshino: “I remember you were never able to do anything on your own…”

Neon: “Thanks for the meal.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “This has been so much fun. It’s really a shame that you have to work tonight.”

Neon: “Wish I didn’t.”

Another really meaningful and interesting line about Neon’s kid self (and his subtly telling reaction to it) gets removed and replaced with more fluff. This isn’t even the dub accidentally losing meaningful bits because they’re missing the point; this is clearly them removing these interesting parts on purpose. Why. Neon’s character was one of the most compelling things about the original episode. All they’re doing is deliberately making this episode significantly less good.

Chika: “Neon is so cool!”

Masaru: “What part of him?”

~~~~~

Kristy: “Oh man, that Neon is so cool!”

Marcus: “Yeah, right.”

Marcus sounds so weirdly bitter here, like he really has firmly decided that Neon sucks and doesn’t deserve anyone’s admiration because he’s A Criminal. Why the hell does he care so much? Masaru was just bewildered as to what the big deal about him was in a way that had nothing to do with the suspected Digimon-harbouring.

Chika: “Obviously, the part where he tries so hard to protect his girlfriend!”

~~~~~

Kristy: “Do you think I’ll ever date someone who’s as cool and sweet as Neon?”

Kristy also does not specify that she admires Neon for trying to keep his girlfriend out of the limelight, which I appreciated Chika doing.

Kristy: “Just have him make it out to ‘Superfan Kristy the Most Beautiful Girl in the Whole World’.”

Geez. Kristy: still noticeably more of a brat than Chika.

Masaru: “Look, Chika, you wouldn’t like it if other people were prying about who you like or date, right? It’s the same with Yoshino. That’s to say nothing of the fact that you’re demanding his autograph just because he’s a celebrity…”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Look, you wouldn’t like it if people kept prying into the private details of your life – I mean, if you had any. Well, Yoshi’s the same. Besides, Neon is probably sick of signing autographs for annoying fans.”

Marcus is technically giving the same sort of advice here, but my god, he is being way more of a dick about it than is necessary. The dub is ruining Masaru’s adorable fatherly-advice moment and turning it into a Marcus Is A Jerk™ moment instead and I don’t like it one bit.

Kristy: “You think I’m annoying, Marcus…?”

And so in this version, Kristy is actually pretty within reason to get upset, because her brother was being a dick. (Though she was also being slightly more annoying and bratty about the autograph thing than Chika was in the first place.)

Promotional video: “Hey everybody! Have you heard the new song by pop sensation Neon? Download it today, and tell all your friends, too!”

The dub version of the “promotional video” actually has a voiceover and therefore is vaguely more believable as an actual promotion than just a weird silent two second loop. Fixing another minor plot hole, dub, well done.

The dub completely cuts out the security guard who confronts Masaru at the door, probably because they didn’t want to include the part where Masaru assaults the guy. This is despite the fact that in the original episode, Masaru implicitly gets in trouble for this later when the guy wakes up, and otherwise generally comes across as having acted very rashly and unreasonably for this whole situation. But nah, apparently we can’t have our kids’ show protagonist do a bad thing, not even when the story presents it like it was kind of a bad thing to do.

Marcus: “Open the door, I’m here to protect you!”

Masaru never actually mentioned that he’s here to protect Yoshino, even though the possibility that she was in trouble is most of the reason why he came. Marcus making an explicit point of this is him making things a lot more about himself than Masaru did, like him coming here is mostly him wanting to seem like the Big Hero, rather than him genuinely just being worried about his friend.

Yoshino: “Masaru! What are you…?”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Marcus, what are you doing?! You’ll blow it; Neon’s here! Go away!”

Yoshi gets a longer line here – they’re probably filling in time lost from cutting the security guard – but in the process I can’t help but think that Neon should have heard the “you’ll blow it” part, since he shows up at the door just a second later. Which in fact would have been Yoshi blowing it and not Marcus.

Masaru: “Don’t play dumb! This was all part of your scheme!”

Neon: “Wh-What are you doing? Who are you?!”

Masaru: “What are you plotting, using that Digimon?!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Don’t play dumb; I know what you’re up to!”

Neon: “What do you mean? Who are you?!”

Marcus: “Just confess and tell me what you have planned in that mind of yours!”

So, despite Marcus having been significantly more convinced than Masaru ever was that Neon is definitely hiding a Digimon, he’s… not bringing up the Digimon for some reason now that he’s actually confronting Neon, even though Masaru did. What the hell.

The dub cuts the moment of Yoshino slapping Masaru, albeit not very convincingly, since there’s still a shot of him briefly looking like he’s just been slapped, and then a visible mark on his face a shot later.

Yoshino: “How dare you suddenly intrude into other people’s houses! How about you consider *not* being a nuisance to others for a change!”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Who do you think you are, barging into somebody’s house just for a measly autograph?! I don’t care how big a fan you are, you better learn some manners, kid!”

I do enjoy Yoshi putting on even more of an act here, trying to make it look like Marcus is some crazed fan desperate for an autograph. Though I’m not sure that angle entirely matches with Marcus’s behaviour of grabbing Neon and demanding that he confesses what he’s up to. Then again, Neon is going to figure out people are onto him from this either way, so I guess it doesn’t matter how convincing Yoshi is or isn’t.

Masaru: “Hey, wait! I said wait! What was that for?”

Yoshino: “You’re ruining my undercover investigation.”

~~~~~

Marcus: “What was all that for, Yoshi?”

Yoshi: “To stop *you* from blowing my cover and all of my hard work.”

I enjoy Yoshi being more pointedly annoyed about this with her emphasis that he’s ruining her hard work. She has a right to be.

Masaru: “What the hell, I was just worried about her.”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Well, I’m so sorry for trying to save you!”

Marcus! This is not about you! Masaru wasn’t trying to make this about himself; he was just worried about his friend – but Marcus is making this all about him Being The Hero and him being the one to save her.

It’s not that I don’t hypothetically enjoy characters who have issues along those lines, but that should not be the point with Marcus here. The dub isn’t going to go anywhere interesting with this because it wasn’t a thing in the original, so instead this just sticks out as another thing making Marcus more self-absorbed.

The security guard showing up here now is still there in the dub, even though they cut Masaru knocking him out earlier.

Sampson: “Keramon’s making it seem like Neon’s selling more songs than he is.”

[…]

Kudamon: “The more popular people think he is, the more albums they buy.”

They have an interesting point here not brought up in the original, that even if Keramon is only making Neon look more popular by messing with the figures, that’s going to result in actually making him more popular. In the original, it was unclear exactly what kind of manipulation Keramon had been doing (until the obvious stunt last night) and I sort of vaguely got the impression that it’d been actually making people download his songs even if they never wanted to. Then again, that might be obvious enough that people would have reported it, so perhaps things were always meant to be how the dub is explaining them to be here. Good job to the dub again for making that clearer. (…Or so I thought; hold this thought.)

Thomas: “Clearly, Neon’s making a fortune through fraud.”

I don’t especially like the dub adding this, though, because Neon should not be doing this for the money. He’s doing this for the popularity. Admittedly Thomas is only speculating and wouldn’t know better, but him stating it like this makes it seem like this is the correct conclusion to make about Neon’s motives.

Neon: “To think that you were one of them…”

Yoshino: “It’s prohibited to give a Digimon refuge!”

~~~~~

Neon: “I just can’t believe you were a part of this. I trusted you!”

Yoshi: “Yeah, that’s why you told me all about your illegal Digimon!”

I enjoy Yoshi actually somewhat responding to the accusation of betrayal by pointing out that he was hiding something from her as well. Though I also do think Yoshino’s response of completely avoiding the topic says something interesting in and of itself.

Neon: “Don’t order me around!”

~~~~~

Neon: “Don’t you judge me!”

While the “don’t order me around” perhaps touched on Neon’s past of not being able to do much on his own, “don’t judge me” would also potentially touch on his past of being bullied. However, I can’t help but think that’s more by luck than judgement on the dub’s part, since they went and deliberately removed so many of the other hints of Neon’s past even being like that in the first place.

Neon: “He distributes my songs around the world and manipulates music charts…”

Wait, so Keramon actually does forcibly distribute the songs even to people who don’t want them, and not just fake the figures so that people will be more likely to check out what the fuss is about?

Yeah, actually, this line is basically exactly what Neon said here originally, so I guess that is what was meant to have been going on after all. Sampson and Kudamon must have missed that part when they were discussing things earlier.

Yoshino: “Hitoshi, stop this!”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “You have to stop this. Fraud is a criminal offence!”

Though the lack of her being able to call him Hitoshi is a bad thing again, I do appreciate Yoshi pointing out that fraud is a crime. Even aside from DATS’s rules that nobody’s allowed to have a Digimon unless they’re a DATS member, Neon has still been breaking the regular law anyway, and the original didn’t really emphasise that very much.

They cut out the moment of Keramon grabbing Yoshi by the neck, but they do still show her being held like that in a shot a second later.

Neon: “No way! Keramon is my partner!”

~~~~~

Neon: “Keramon is my partner just like your Digimon! I wouldn’t betray him any more than you’d betray them!”

Dub-Neon is very deliberately making the parallel to DATS’s Digimon rather than only accidentally invoking it by happening to use the same word – but it really isn’t a parallel he should be making deliberately. Keramon is not a person. It hasn’t spoken or expressed its own desires or sense of self at all; it’s just giggled creepily and done as he’s ordered it to. There is no actual meaningful bond of friendship here for Neon to care about not wanting to betray.

I think the dub added this in because the dubbers actually think that it’s basically the same deal going on with Neon and Keramon as with DATS and their partners. But it really, really isn’t.

Neon: “Thanks to him, my songs are played throughout the world! He’s making me famous!”

~~~~~

Neon: “He made me rich and famous!”

Famous, yes, but the money is not the point, dub. Neon in the original never mentioned money as being part of why he’s doing this.

Also, the past tense implies that it’s only because of Keramon that Neon became famous at all. Which I really doubt is supposed to be the case, because there’s no sense given at any point that Neon just burst into the public eye out of nowhere within the past month since he’s had Keramon. He must have been already doing reasonably well on his own merit before he started using fraud.

Masaru: “What’s this crap about him making you famous?! It’s not through your own efforts! If you wanted to change yourself through your music, then do it using your own merit!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Your whole career is a giant lie! You haven’t actually achieved anything! That Digimon of yours did everything for you; you’re nothing but a phony!”

…But it seems the dub really wants us to think that it’s only because of Keramon that Neon got anywhere at all and he was never genuinely good enough to deserve any amount of success whatsoever. I think the dubbers might have missed the point of this as well and believed that that was actually what was going on in the original episode.

And of course, because of this, we lose the interesting nuanced moment of Masaru being really good and pointing out that Neon should have kept working at this using his own merit. Instead we just get Marcus boringly shooting him down completely.

Yoshino: “Stop!”

Lalamon: “Stop!”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “No pictures!”

Lalamon: “Give me that camera!”

Lalamon demanding the camera further emphasises the point of Yoshi choosing to do this instead of fight, and it gives more of a vague impression that maybe she really does take the camera and wipe the pictures offscreen, even though we won’t be seeing it. I approve.

Neon: “Everyone needs to quit making fun of me!”

~~~~~

Neon: “My career’s ruined now, and you’re gonna pay!”

Unsurprisingly, after everything the dub has already removed about Neon’s interesting aspects, they also remove probably the most interesting line – the one that very strongly hints he used to be bullied and that this has all been about him breaking away from that in a way that gradually became more and more desperate and obsessive to the point of illegality.

Instead, dub-Neon is somebody who wanted to be rich and famous just because, apparently had genuinely no actual talent or merit to base that on whatsoever, and just faked his entire success story (which the dub expects us to think he could have believably done within a month) using Digimon-driven fraud. That’s just… boring.

It also makes it significantly less interesting and meaningful why Keramon evolves in response to these words, though I suppose a burst of vengeful anger at them for ruining his fraudulent career is still reasonable enough to do it.

Masaru: “Change places! Let’s go, Agumon!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “We’ll take ‘im! It’s fightin’ time!”

I am mildly sad at the loss of the sense that Masaru sees this as him tagging in for Tohma and being equal teammates with him, rather than trying to grab all the glory himself.

Neon: “Even the memory of when we met again?”

~~~~~

Neon: “Even the stuff about you and me?”

In the dub, Neon makes this just about losing what their relationship is now and nothing else. I liked the sense that, after all the fraud had been uncovered and he’d basically given up, original-Neon was mostly sad to lose the memory of seeing her again, his childhood friend who was there for him during that tough time and could be proud of how far he’d come.

Overall differences

This episode has quite a few significant differences, with a lot of them being bad, but at least there’s a small handful of good ones too, for once.

Let’s start with the good ones. This episode’s dub actually has a couple of small fixes to some minor logic issues the original had. They explained that they can’t break into Neon’s building because the high security meant that Neon/Keramon would see them coming and run, which made a lot more sense. Then they gave the promo video a voiceover, making it a lot more believable as a promo video than some weird silent two-second loop.

Yoshi also has a few minor good bits: leaning more into the story that Marcus is a crazed fan when he shows up at the door, pointing out that fraud is a crime. I also appreciate that they attempted to tone down Miki and Megumi’s harshness towards her at least a little.

But onto the bad stuff: the really huge glaring problem with the dub of this episode is Neon. Neon’s character was the big saving grace of this otherwise not especially interesting episode to me in the original, and none of what makes him that way is present in the dub. All of the hints of him being weak and helpless and probably-bullied as a kid are watered down into him simply having been kind of shy, there’s no hints of him remaking his image (no mention that Neon is a stage name; for all we know in the dub, that’s somehow his real name), and way too much emphasis put on him doing this for money, not just fame. If Marcus is to be believed, he had absolutely zero talent and got where he was entirely through Keramon’s meddling, which is extremely unrealistic to have happened in a single month without anyone questioning it and is also way, way less interesting. Dub-Neon is just some boring flat villain greedy for fame and fortune, rather than an interestingly messed-up character.

And it’s really strange to me that this character assassination is so complete and consistent that it must have been deliberate? The dub writers consciously decided to remove everything that made this episode’s focus character interesting. Why in the world would they choose to do that.

Then there’s this episode’s treatment of Marcus, which is standard fare at this point but still frustrating enough that I am always going to talk about it when it happens in any significant amount.

He’s more insistent that Neon’s harbouring a Digimon from the start despite the lack of proof, but then, bizarrely, doesn’t bring up Digimon when he breaks in even though Masaru did. He makes the breaking-in part a lot more About Himself by making a point that he’s here to save Yoshi, which is a very different thing than Masaru coming there in case Yoshino needed saving but not actually caring whether she knows it or not. Marcus is also more of an unnecessary dick to his sister in the bit where she’s asking him for Neon’s autograph. And the interesting nuance that Masaru had in his speech to Neon, about putting in effort and changing yourself through your own merits, is lost in favour of this new boring narrative where Neon apparently had zero talent and deserved none of his fame in the first place.

Oh, and the bit where Masaru attacked the security guard was cut, because I guess your kids’ show protagonist isn’t allowed to attack a responsible adult, even when the narrative presents this as a bad thing that he shouldn’t have done and implicitly gets in trouble for.

#digimon #digimon savers #digimon data squad

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starrywhump · 4 years ago

Note

Hero is outnumbered and captured bonus points if it is a recapturing and hero knows exactlybwhat will happen of they are recaptured and fights it as much as possible extra bonus points if sidekick who was told to hide trys to help hero only to get captured themselves and hero feels worse because now SK will be subject to the one thing hero was trying to get them to avoid. Triple Bonus points if the situation of capturing is SKs fault cuse they didnt listen to hero

“Give up Hero, you can’t beat all of us,” the Villain smiled at the sight of their pray completely trapped.

A ring of the Villain’s strongest men surrounded the Hero.

The air crackled and popped, a faint glow surrounded the Hero. The adrenaline brought on from being so utterly outmatched feeding into their powers. Their hair floated around their face, their face was set in a serious grimace.

“Stop with the theatrics darling, you’ll hurt yourself.”

The Hero gulped, trying to maintain their composure. Their mind was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out a way out of this. If they stayed calm and focused, maybe they could win this. They didn’t have to fight them all, just enough to get an opportunity to escape.

Even if they couldn’t win, they would rather go down fighting then surrender to the Villain. To go back to... back then.

“Oh darling, you look absolutely amazing like this,” the Villain cupped the Hero’s face. They held it up to examine the Hero’s assorted cuts and bruises, the evidence of hours of the Villain’s hard work.

The Hero let out a broken keen, everything hurt. They didn’t have the strength to fight back or even move by themselves, so they let the Villain move them as they wanted.

“I think you can be even better. Some more bruises, the purple brings out your eyes. God and red is absolutely your color! We only have a little more to do, I will make you perfect.”

nonononononono

Fear and power surged through their body, their blood turned to liquid flames under their skin. A wave of light burst out from the Hero, knocking away the closest of the Villain’s goons.

The air grew hot as the Hero’s power extended out to slam against more of their attackers.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the Villain’s was calm, unbothered by the Hero’s sudden increase in capability. A smirk was plastered across their face, they had the Hero exactly where they wanted.

The color drained from the Hero’s face, the heat and light in the air disappeared. They were frozen staring at the Villain.

The Villain holding a knife against their teammate’s throat. Their Sidekick who they had made promise to stay away from the Villain.

But there they were wide-eyed and trembling in the Villain’s grasp.

“What are you thinking! I won’t let you go!” The Sidekick grabbed the Hero’s arms, pleading with them.

“You don’t have a choice, I need to face them. If it’s not me than the burden falls on someone else.”

“So let it fall on someone else! Hero, please it doesn’t always have to be you. Let me help you, so at least you’re not alone. I can fight... I can help!”

The Hero sighed, “I know you can. But that’s exactly why you can’t. Someone needs to be around if I... Besides, no one else needs to get hurt. This is my mess.”

“But-”

“Promise me. Promise me you’ll stay away, that you won’t interfere, no matter what.”

“o-ok”

“Let them go,” the Hero’s voice shook.

“No, I don’t think I will. In fact, I think you aren’t in a place to be making demands.”

The Hero moved from their frozen stance, moving their hands up above their head, “I give up, just let them go. They won’t fight you, if you let them go, they will walk out of here without any trouble.”

The Villain ran their free hand through the Sidekick’s hair, “Hmmm, is that true little one?”

The Sidekick flinched away from the Villain’s touch.

“They seem pretty feisty to me. Since your egotistical, self-sacrificing tendencies have obviously rubbed off on them, I do believe they thought they were going to save you. That they are strong enough to save you,” The Villain chuckled, pushing the knife farther into the Sidekick’s neck, causing a few droplets to bead along the edge of the knife, “Tell me, do you feel strong now?”

The Sidekick ignored the Villain’s mocks, schooling their expression, even as their eyes filled with panic, “Fuck you,” they gritted out.

The Villain laughed at the Sidekick’s outburst.

The Hero glared at the Sidekick, silently telling them to shut up, “Then tie them up,” the moved their eyes back up to the Villain’s, “Leave them here. Even if they try to follow you later they won’t be able to find me, we both know that.”

The Villain grinned, clearly relishing how much the Hero was still affected by their time together, “And why are you so sure I want you back? Maybe I just want you dead.”

The Hero clenched their jaw, “you won’t kill me, you like hurting me too much,” tears stung their eyes as they spoke.

“I do, I do... But the thing is I very much enjoyed breaking you. And you’re already broken-”

“I am not broken-”

“Do not interrupt me, not unless you’d like your friend here to die.”

The Sidekick yelped as the Villain suddenly increase their grip’s pressure, blood flowed more freely.

“No! Don’t, I won’t interrupt!” The Hero had to stop themselves from running to the Sidekick.

“That’s hardly an apology,” the Villain’s smile grew, enjoying this game of cat and mouse. They both knew what the Villain wanted, and they both knew the Hero was going to give it to them.

“I-I’m sorry.”

“You know better than that pet.”

The buildup of tears in the Hero’s eyes finally spilled over, trickling down their cheeks, “I’m sorry... sir.”

The Sidekick’s eyes widened at the sight of their mentor’s blatant surrender. The Hero looked at the floor, not wanting to meet their gaze.

“See what I mean? Broken. I don’t know if you’ll be fun anymore. But, here, delivered to me on a silver platter, is a new, fresh plaything. Full of fire, just like you were back then.”

“No! No, I said I’d go back with you. Stop with these games and just let them go!” the air sizzled as the Hero yelled.

The Villain’s paused, “and you will go willingly?”

“Yes. Yes, I’ll do whatever you want, just let them go.”

“Hmmm,” the Villain mused, looking between the Sidekick and the Hero.

“I’ll go,” the Sidekick’s voice was small but firm, they were scared out of their wits but still trying to save the Hero.

“No, you won’t!” The Hero’s eyes blazed with even more anger than before.

“Hold them,” the Villain shoved the Sidekick towards some of the few of their workers left standing after the Hero’s attack.

The Sidekick reacted quickly fighting against the men trying to get a hold on them.

The Villain looked to the Hero, sending them an unspoken threat.

“Sidekick! Stop. Do what they say,” the Hero ordered.

The Sidekick paused for just a moment surprised by the Hero’s words. That was all it took for the Villain’s men to get a grasp on the Sidekick’s arms, roughly shoving them down on their knees.

“Tie them, gag as well,” the Villain ordered. The men nodded.

With that taken care of the Villain turned their attention back to the Hero, “For you, I have something special,” from their belt they detached a part of thick black cuffs.

They approached the Hero slowly, enjoying each step.

The Hero looked ahead blankly. They held themselves back from running or attacking as the Villain came to be only a few inches from their face.

“I’ll have you know these are custom made, I spared no expense,” The Villain reached up to grab the Hero’s wrists, moving them down in front of their body.

The Hero let their body be moved as the Villain wanted.

Up close the cuffs didn’t look that special, just two black bands of some type of metal with a bar between them, they softly clicked into place around the Hero’s wrists.

The Villain moved their hand to the middle of the cuffs, pushing in a small panel on the underside of the cuffs. There was a soft pop and the Hero felt a jolt of pain in the inside of their wrists. They grimaced.

“Oh if you think that hurts wait until you feel what happens in, three, two, one-”

The Hero took in a strangled gasp. Weakness, spread through them. Panic washed over them. Their legs gave out, they fell forward into the Villain.

The Villain lowered the Hero down to the ground, “it’ll pass. You just need to get used to it.”

The Hero couldn’t breathe. The warm comforting feeling of their powers inside them was replaced with a terrible hollow feeling. It hurt. They couldn’t move, or breathe, nothing worked. They weren’t whole and they couldn’t-

“Calm down it won’t be any easier to work through if you’re panicking,” the Villain stroked the side of the Hero’s face, “it must be hard suddenly losing something you’ve had since birth.”

The Hero looked up to the Villain in horror, “..h-how?”

“I made it just for you. Specifically to render you utterly powerless. These cuffs administer a dose directly to your bloodstream. And this is just the basic version, when we get back to the compound we can try out all the different variations I’ve made for you,” the Villain moved their hand up into the Hero’s hair, running their hand through it.

The Hero sobbed.

The Villain stood gesturing to a few of their men to come get the Hero. One of them lifted the Hero, holding them bridal style. In any other circumstance, the Hero would have fought tooth and nail to get out of such an embarrassing situation. But even if they wanted too, the Hero could barely move. Their head lolled back over the man’s arm.

“Into the van,” the Villain ordered. They looked over at the Sidekick, now bound with rope, “them too.”

The men holding the Sidekick began to drag them after the Hero.

“No! You...you said...they could go,” they Hero struggled to form the words. But they had to make sure the Sidekick would go free. They had to, or this was all for nothing.

“Really? I don’t remember ever saying that.”

No. Nononononono they were such an idiot. Of course, the Villain wouldn’t let the Sidekick go.

And now they were too weak to try and fight them, powerless to stop them from doing whatever they wanted.

This was exactly what the Villain wanted.

How could they have been so stupid?

Now the Sidekick would be hurt and it was their fault.

Why did they think they could save anyone, they couldn’t even save themselves.

Another sob escaped the Hero.

The man holding the Hero dropped them down into the back of the Villain’s van. The Sidekick was shoved in next to them, they stopped fighting the men to get over to the Hero. The Sidekick’s hands were tied behind their back, and they were gagged, but they tried to convey as much comfort as they could through their eyes.

The Hero didn’t notice, their eyes were squeezed shut, trying to work through the cocktail of pain, guilt, and fear in their head.

The van doors slammed shut. Leaving the pair in total darkness.

#whump #sidekick #hero #villain #hero/villain #superhero whump #creepy whumper #flashbacks #conditioning #pain #poison #sacrifice #capture #kidnapping #recapture #knife to throat #knifes #blood #crying

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wisteriashouse · 4 years ago

Text

between us.

pairing: kamado tanjirou x sumiyuri hayami (oc)

genre: fluff

word count: 7015

remarks: commission by @hinokami-s!! i hope you enjoy this one... i feel like i went a bit off with hayami’s personality at the end (too much... humour?) but i tried my best! as usual tanjirou and hayami’s relationship is so sweet i cry 😭

The cherry blossoms are blooming.

That’s the first thing Tanjirou notices as he makes his way down the path to the Butterfly Estate, their slight fragrance drifting along the wind and lending their floral perfume to the spring breeze. The last time he’d parted ways here with the rest of his friends for individual missions, the cherry blossom trees still had fresh green leaves clinging to their branches. Now, it’s almost been months without seeing a glimpse of their faces.

He hopes they’re all doing alright.

Hiking Nezuko’s box more comfortably up his back, he lets out a slight wince as the straps jolt against the makeshift sling his left arm is in - the demon he’d faced on his latest mission had left a nasty injury there, and he needs to get it checked by one of the girls at the Butterfly Estate before he’s clear to continue taking new missions.

With a sigh, Tanjirou looks down at his wound to inspect it briefly. He’s not trained in medicine like Aoi and Shinobu are, but he’s been injured enough - he can tell from the bruising around his arm that he’ll need to recuperate for a week at least, or perhaps even longer. Hopefully, either Zenitsu or Inosuke will happen to be at the estate as well so that he won’t have to be so alone, or maybe even-

The faint scent of lavender touches his nose, and Tanjirou perks up at the familiarity of it. Could it possibly be her?

“Oh! Tanjirou, it’s you!”

Tanjirou glances up towards the source of the voice only to see a familiar figure silhouetted against the noonday sun, waving enthusiastically in the distance. Hayami is standing at the entrance of the Butterfly Estate, dressed in a snow white yukata and her platinum hair blazing gold in the light of the evening sun. Although he can’t make out her features clearly in the distance, Tanjirou somehow knows that their eyes have met - it’s like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle falling into place.

He waves in response with his good arm, feeling the corners of his mouth lift in a smile - it’s an involuntary reflex, one that he can’t help whenever he sees her. As Tanjirou draws closer, Hayami, apparently too impatient to wait for him to come to her, takes off at a run - within seconds, she’s already standing before him with a radiant smile and lilac eyes that sparkle like gems.

“Tanjirou, it’s been so long since I’ve last seen you!” Hayami exclaims excitedly, holding out her arms to catch Tanjirou in her usual greeting hug when her gaze falls to his arm. Instantly, her eyes widen with concern, brows pinching together as she inspects the reddened area. “You’re hurt! What happened?”

A sheepish laugh escapes him, his good hand reaching up to scratch at his head. “Well, it’s a little embarrassing, but I got taken by surprise.” Hayami frowns in worry, moving as if to gently touch the wound, but right before her fingertips can brush his skin, she pulls back with a shake of the head. Tanjirou can’t help the slight twinge of disappointment, before he feels heat prick at his cheeks at the thought - he blames it on the warm weather. “What about you? Why are you at the estate?”

“We all make mistakes, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Hayami chides, apparently unaware of his wandering thoughts. “I just finished a mission, so they’re giving me a short break. I’ve been going continuously for a few months now, and I don’t want to collapse out of exhaustion.” Giving him a cursory glance, she leans in closer, the scent of freshly laundered fabric and lavender tickling his nose - what a pleasant scent, Tanjirou thinks. Her lilac eyes stare right into his, and suddenly it registers to him that Hayami is standing too close - far too close.

“That’s true, I would hate to see you overworked.” He tries to brush off the feeling in his chest, smiling up at Hayami. “I’m glad that you’re here as well. I was worried I’d have to spend the next few weeks training all by myself!”

“That would have been quite lonely, but don’t worry, I’m here too! We can spar together if you want, but only when your arm gets better!” Hayami replies instantly. With a smile, she takes Tanjirou’s uninjured hand in his. “Come on, let’s get back to the Butterfly Mansion and get your injury looked at. I’m sure the other girls are excited to see you too.”

Tanjirou looks down at their conjoined hands, something akin to warmth fluttering in his chest. He’s lucky that Hayami doesn’t have the same keen sense of smell that he does, because now, the air is almost pungently sweet with the scent of his happiness.

“Knock, knock, are you there?” Hayami raps her knuckles lightly on the box Tanjirou always wears on his back. From the inside, she can hear slight scratching noises and rustling, the sound of its contents awakening. She knocks again, a playful sing song tone to her voice. “Oh dear, this box isn’t making any noise. Is anyone home?”

“Mmph hmph!”

All of a sudden, the lid to the box bursts open and a tiny Nezuko spills out in a mess of pink fabric and an assortment of wildflowers. Tanjirou must have given Nezuko those to play with while she was inside the box, Hayami reasons, colours and variations of all sorts strewn on the floor. With a smile, Hayami mentally promises to clean up the mess later and stretches out her arms. “Nezuko! It’s Big Sister! Did you miss me?”

Before Hayami can so much as reach for the younger girl, Nezuko is already toddling over and throwing herself into Hayami’s arms, making muffled noises of excitement behind her bamboo gag. Cooing, Hayami reaches down to brush some stray flower petals out of Nezuko’s hair before wrapping her arms around the younger girl. She’s as adorable as usual. “How have you been? Did you help your big brother Tanjirou fight any demons?”

Nezuko makes a little ‘mmph!’ noise proudly, her pink eyes sparkling. Hayami beams down at the younger girl, ruffling her long locks. They’re a little tangled, she notes with a frown. Tanjirou usually does this, but he must have been unable to with the injury to his dominant hand.

“Nezuko, sit here,” she pats her lap, before looking through her sleeves, before producing a little wooden comb. Carefully, she begins to run the comb through Nezuko’s locks, being cautious not to hurt the younger girl while undoing the knots. Doing this feels relaxing, the repetitive movements helping to calm her mind and soul.

“Hmm!” Much to Hayami’s surprise, Nezuko suddenly turns around in Hayami’s lap and points at her hair, before gesturing at her own excitedly. Hayami tilts her head to the side, momentarily confused. “My hair? What about it?”

“Mmhh mm!”

Hayami lets out a noise of realisation. “You want your hair to be tied into a ponytail too?”

“Mmm!”

“Alright, give me a moment.” Looking into her sleeves again, she searches for her spare hair ribbon - a short length of pink silk that would go beautifully with Nezuko’s eyes, she thinks. Humming lightly, she moves to gather Nezuko’s hair into a long ponytail, before securing it neatly with a ribbon. “There, all done.”

From the happy noises Nezuko is making, Hayami assumes that she likes it. Feeling pleased with herself, Hayami pats the top of Nezuko’s head with a smile. “I’m glad you like it!”

Nezuko whirls around, pointing at her forehead and making curious sounds. Hayami understands who she’s talking about almost instantly.

“Oh, where’s Tanjirou? He’s getting looked at by Shinobu-san for his arm, but I’m sure he’ll be alright in no time. He asked me to keep you company in the meanwhile.” Hayami answers, smiling as comfortingly as she can at Nezuko. This seems to abate the young demon’s concerns slightly, but then Nezuko tugs at the sleeve of her kimono, brows furrowed.

“Hmph hmm!”

“You’re still worried?” Hayami twirls a lock of hair around her finger thoughtfully. It is dark out now, so it should be safe for her to bring Nezuko out of the room. “Well, I suppose Tanjirou should have finished his examination with Shinobu-san by now, unless he’s more badly injured than I thought. Do you want to go find him?”

“Mhm!”

“Alright, hop on.” Lowering herself closer to the ground, Hayami allows Nezuko to clamber onto her back and wrap her legs around her waist. Once she’s satisfied that Nezuko is securely on her back, she straightens up. Behind her, Nezuko makes tiny muffled noises of excitement, and Hayami has to stifle a giggle. Nezuko really is too cute.

“Hold on tight to me, alright, Nezuko?” Hayami glances over her shoulder. Nezuko wraps her arms around her neck.

“Mmm!”

Setting out, the two of them make their way down the corridors of the Butterfly Estate to the medical wing, Hayami humming along the way to keep Nezuko entertained. Once they reach the medical wing, Hayami slides open the door, only to see Tanjirou sitting on the only occupied bed with a bowl of porridge on his bedside table. His eyes light up the second he sees the two of them.

“Nezuko!” Tanjirou says brightly, and in an instant, Nezuko is leaping off Hayami’s back before hopping straight onto Tanjirou’s bed, wrapping both arms around his middle tightly. Tanjirou lets out a grunt as he catches with his good hand, before he lets out a laugh and reaches up to pat the top of her head gently. “There, there, Nezuko. Big Brother is completely fine, there’s no need to worry, see?” He wiggles the fingers poking out of his cast to reassure her. Seemingly put at ease now, Nezuko tugs at Tanjirou’s sleeve, before pointing to her hair.

“Hmm mm!”

Tanjirou smiles at Nezuko. “Did Hayami do your hair for you? Wow, it looks beautiful on you, Nezuko!” Nezuko huffs proudly. He turns to look at Hayami. “Thank you very much for keeping her company for me, Hayami.”

“It was no problem, you know how much I love to spend time with Nezuko’,” Hayami says, sliding the door shut behind her. Stepping over to Tanjirou, she gives the cast a cursory glance. “That doesn’t look ‘completely fine’ in the least. How bad is it?”

“Just a hairline fracture.” Tanjirou explains, as Nezuko curls up in his lap like a large cat. “Shinobu-san said that it’ll heal in about a couple of weeks or so, as long as I don’t aggravate it. She gave me some painkillers too, but apparently they can only be taken after a meal, hence the porridge.” He lets out a sigh as he looks down at his dominant hand, casted and wrapped in a sling. “It’s a little hard to eat with this on, though.”

Crossing over to his bedside table, Hayami picks up the bowl, scooping a spoonful of porridge and holding it out to Tanjirou. “Here, I’ll feed you.” Hayami nudges at his lips with the spoon. “Say ‘ah’.”

“Ah, Hayami, there’s no need to!” Tanjirou’s face is burning red for some reason, and Hayami frowns in worry, setting down the bowl to the side.

“Tanjirou, your cheeks are flushed.” Tanjirou looks like he’s about to hyperventilate any moment, the flush on his cheeks deepening into a shade of wine red. He doesn’t seem like he’s about to admit anything, so Hayami simply leans forward, brushing the hair back from Tanjirou’s forehead to press their foreheads together, just as Shinobu had taught her to check for a fever. As expected, his skin is a little hot in comparison to hers. “Hmm, you’re a little warm. You might have a fever- Ow!”

Hayami staggers back with a yelp of pain, both hands clutching her forehead. “Tanjirou!”

“I’m so sorry! Are you alright? I didn’t mean to do that! You just leaned in all of a sudden and I panicked and I accidentally headbutted you!” Tanjirou panics, clambering off the bed to check up on her. Hayami rubs the sore spot where Tanjirou’s forehead had collided with hers, slightly relieved that her fingers come away bloodless - she’s seen what that deadly weapon is more than capable of before. It really is as hard as a rock, she thinks to herself.

“I’m alright,” Hayami manages. Nezuko looks concerned, pink eyes wide as she stares from the bed. Maybe she should go to Shinobu for an x-ray tomorrow, just in case. He might have fractured her skull. “Well, I suppose that you’re fine, seeing that you seem so energetic.” Picking up the bowl, Hayami holds out the spoon to him once more. “Here. You should eat so that you can take your pills and go to sleep.”

Apparently too traumatised by the earlier incident to argue any further, Tanjirou obediently opens his mouth and swallows, chewing silently. It doesn’t take him long to finish the entire bowl, and by the time Hayami is handing him a cup of water to wash his painkillers down with, Tanjirou is already yawning and rubbing at his eyes. He must be tired just having returned from a series of missions without break, Hayami thinks sympathetically.

“Lie down and sleep for now,” Hayami tells Tanjirou, moving over to help him fluff up his pillow. Nodding tiredly, Tanjirou moves to lie down, and Hayami tugs the blanket over him, tucking him in carefully to make sure he doesn’t catch a chill during the night.

“You should rest too, Hayami,” Tanjirou says between yawns, and Hayami turns to give him a quick smile. He’s looking up at her from the bed, almost half asleep at this point, and Hayami’s heart squeezes in her chest at the innocent sight. He’s so cute. “I will as soon as you go to bed,” she says, fetching a spare blanket from one of the empty beds to drape around Nezuko’s form. The younger girl had already fallen asleep a while ago at the foot of Tanjirou’s bed.

“Alright then,” Tanjirou says sleepily, letting out a final yawn before his eyes slide shut. “Goodnight… Hayami…”

Hayami looks up from putting the blanket around Nezuko to see Tanjirou already fast asleep with his eyes shut, the beginning of light snores escaping his mouth. For a moment, Hayami simply watches Tanjirou with a contented smile, before she shakes herself out of her stupor.

“What am I doing?” She mumbles to herself in confusion, before turning around to leave the medical wing. Before she slides the door shut, however, she gives Tanjirou’s sleeping form a final glance. He looks a couple of years younger like this, his face relaxed and a gentle smile on his lips.

“Goodnight to you too, Tanjirou.”

After a couple of weeks at the Butterfly Estate, Tanjirou’s cast finally comes off.

“See, good as new,” Tanjirou shows Hayami, as the two of them sit on the engawa next to the training grounds. Carefully, Hayami picks up his arm, checking it over. She knows it’s a little silly - if Shinobu, their medical professional, has declared that he’s fit to return to duty, he’s definitely more than alright - but she can’t help but worry until she sees that he is completely fine with her own two eyes.

“I’m glad,” she finally smiles, setting down his arm. Tanjirou beams at her, before he picks up his sword from where it had been lying next to him, before hopping off the engawa onto the training grounds below.

“Come on, let’s spar!” He calls brightly, testing the grip of his sword carefully. “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to practice. If Urokodaki-san found out how much I’ve slacked off on training, he’d…” Tanjirou trails off with a shiver at the thought. Hayami winces in sympathy. As a former student of Urokodaki herself, she can only remember all too clearly the times the old man had booted her into the waterfall that flows down Sagiri Mountain.

“You’ve just recovered, though,” Hayami points out, concerned. Tanjirou only beams.

“I feel perfectly fine!” Grasping his sword with both hands, Tanjirou takes a few practice swings with it. “No pain at all, my muscles are just stiff because I haven’t used them in a while. It’ll be fine after a bit of exercise.”

“Well, if you say so,” Hayami says, reaching for her own boots to pull them on. As usual, Tanjirou’s drive to improve himself is unrelenting. Adjusting them so they fit comfortably, Hayami hops to her feet, testing the blade mechanisms. As expected of Ginjiro’s work, they still work perfectly, much to her satisfaction.

She picks up her blade and slides off the engawa, raising her own blade with a smile. “I won’t go easy on you then, Tanjirou! Ready whenever you are!”

In the blink of an eye, Tanjirou is already lunging at Hayami, swinging his blade down with a fierce strike. “Water Breathing, Fourth Form, Striking Tide!”

Hayami twirls out of the way, landing lightly on her toes before she leaps at him. “Breath of Swan, Third Form, Wingspan.” Balancing on her hands, she executes a scissor cut with her legs, but before the blades can so much as touch Tanjirou, he’s already leaping out of the way, using the jump to flow into the next attack.

“Water Breathing, Second Form, Water Wheel!”

Blocking the attack with her sword, Hayami jumps into the air and strikes once more. “Fourth Form, Drifting Feathers!”

Her sword clashes hard against Tanjirou’s own, the sound of metal striking metal ringing out through the air. As she keeps up the pressure, Hayami catches sight of the wince that Tanjirou bites back, before his grip on the sword in his hands just happens to slip.

It’s a small mistake, but it’s enough.

“Tanjirou!” The two of them go crashing to the ground in a heap of tangled limbs and swords, Hayami falling flat on top of Tanjirou. “Oh my god, are you okay?”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t break my arm a second time.” Tanjirou wheezes, looking completely winded. Distressed, Hayami leans over to check the back of Tanjirou’s head for any injuries. “Really, I’m fine, Hayami…”

“A potential concussion is not fine, Tanjirou.” Hayami scolds, reaching over to feel for any bumps along the back of his head in case. She doesn’t notice the way Tanjirou is trying his very best not to breathe, his eyes squeezed firmly shut.

“Yes, but you’re a bit… close…”

“Eh?”

Hayami finally glances down at Tanjirou to see the poor boy’s face burning crimson, as if he’s about to combust spontaneously any second. That’s when she realises just how close the two of them are, the ends of her hair tickling his nose, the way that she can feel his breath on her skin…

In classic Hayami fashion, she panics. “I-I…” She stumbles over her words, frantically torn between wanting to apologise immediately and explaining that she didn’t mean it. “I just… I thought-”

“Squawk! Message from headquarters! Message from headquarters!”

Saved by the crow! Hayami looks up to see her crow, Aiya, flying around in circles over their heads. “Message from headquarters! Sumiyuri Hayami and Kamado Tanjirou are to depart at once on a mission!”

“A mission?” Hayami repeats out loud, rolling off Tanjirou and reaching down to help him up. “A joint mission together?”

“It would seem so.” Tanjirou answers, quickly sheathing his sword. Still worried for her friend, Hayami turns to glance at Tanjirou. “Is your arm alright, though?”

Tanjirou nods honestly. “It really is! I’m just a little rusty after so long.” Stretching his arms over his head to loosen himself up, he holds out a hand to Hayami. “Well then, shall we go?”

Hayami purses her lips, but then lets out a sigh and smiles. “If you say so,” she says, putting her hand into his.

“Let’s go!”

Splitting up was, is and has never been, a good idea.

Well, that assumption might not always be wholly accurate, Hayami thinks to herself as she speeds through the trees, but it does seem that only the most terrible things happen to her whenever she is split up with her mission partners.

Or perhaps it is because she is split up with Tanjirou specifically that she feels such worry.

Regardless of whichever it is, Hayami has a bad feeling about this. She and Tanjirou had agreed to split up earlier, and while she has complete trust in Tanjirou’s ability and skill in battle, she can’t help but worry - it’s been too quiet, ever since the two of them had parted ways to search for the demon.

Trust your instinct, she remembers Urokodaki saying. And right now, her instinct is warning her about something bad.

Before Hayami can make up her mind whether to regroup with Tanjirou or not, there’s a rustling in the distance that captures her attention almost immediately. Slightly alarmed now, she rests a cautious hand on the hilt of her sword, eyes narrowed.

What’s going on over there?

She barely gets a second to wonder - a single moment later, there’s a gigantic groan, and right before her eyes, a tree in the distance sways and collapses, vanishing into the thicket of the forest. Hayami’s legs are moving before she can consciously process the information, leaping over protruding roots and ducking around trees as she makes a beeline straight for the source of the noise. There’s no way a demon would cause so much damage and alert them to its presence - it’s likely that Tanjirou has already encountered the demon and is currently battling it, hence the disturbance in the forest.

Hayami remembers the way he had winced when they sparred earlier in the day. Sure, he’d hold her that his arm was fine and all, but then again, Tanjirou has always been someone who endures pain better than anyone she knows.

Pressing her lips together, she forces her feet to move faster. Not much longer now… Approaching the thicket where she’d last seen the disturbance, Hayami leaps into the trees for a better view of the forest ground, and almost immediately hears the sound of steel clashing coming from her right.

“Tanjirou!”

Just as she thought, Tanjirou is already engaged in combat, his sword swinging in defensive arcs to block the attacks being thrown in his direction before he goes on the offensive once more. To Hayami’s confusion, however, she spots two identical demons simultaneously attacking - the report had only mentioned a single demon. There’s no time for her to ponder too long about the matter, not when Tanjirou is being forced to take on two demons on his own. Drawing her blade, she leaps out of the trees, taking in a deep breath to send oxygen to the very tips of her fingers and toes.

“Breath of Swan, Fourth Form, Drifting Feathers!”

A mirage of white feathers erupt into the air as she slashes down at one of the demons, her sword cutting cleanly through the flesh and bone of the demon’s neck as if slicing through warm butter. Tanjirou gasps at her sudden appearance, clearly surprised as he blocks another attack, the force of the demon’s swing forcing him a few steps back.

“Hayami!”

“You looked like you needed a hand there,” Hayami says as brightly as she can, even as the headless corpse of the demon she’d beheaded a few seconds ago begins to crumble to ash. “Hurry and take care of the other one, then we can go back to the Butterfly Mansion together-”

“Wait, that’s not it-”

Hayami leaps back in alarm just as a massive clawed hand swings at her, the ends of its razor sharp fingernails coming a little too close for comfort with her face. Eyes wide, she watches as the demon Tanjirou was battling slowly pulls itself in half, before each half morphs and shifts… until they both become identical copies of the original.

This seems like it’s going to be troublesome.

“Right. As I was going to tell you earlier, this demon forms copies of itself,” Tanjirou explains as he takes up a stance behind Hayami, covering her blind spots while she covers his. “I killed quite a few of them earlier, they’re not very strong, but they simply keep dividing again and again. The original is a lot stronger than the rest of them are!”

“So one of them has to be the main body.” Hayami says, blocking an attack with her sword and sending another clone stumbling back with a high kick to the face. “Can all of them divide?”

“No, only the original. But it’ll be difficult to find it,” Tanjirou answers. The second he cuts down a demon, another steps up to take its place. “All of them have the same scent!”

There’s a thin sheen of perspiration on his face. Hayami frowns in worry. She needs to end this fight, and she needs to end it fast.

“Let’s start by clearing as many of them as we can,” Hayami says, readying her sword. The demon must still be dividing at a rapid pace, because she counts seven enemies now. “After we whittle their numbers down, try to spot which is the one who’s doing the dividing and keep your focus on it. Our main priority should be to take it down!”

Tanjirou takes a deep breath and assumes a different stance, holding his blade to the side. “Got it!”

“Breath of Swan, Ninth Form, Fleeting Flight!”

“Water Breathing, Third Form, Flowing Dance!”

Both of them move in unison, taking out the clones left and right as their blades sing into the night. Hayami moves between the demons with light, practiced steps, almost as if she’s dancing, her sword swinging with ease. Behind her, she can hear the whistle of Tanjirou’s blade as it splits the air in two, followed by the death screams of a demon.

Good, just a few more, and then-

All of a sudden, something yanks her by the ankles and Hayami goes crashing to the ground with a cry of surprise. The side of her knee has been scraped by a tree root, dull pain radiating across her leg, but such a small injury is of little bother to her. Flipping out her heel blades, she raises her leg high and brings it down in a furious kick, cutting off the neck of the demon that had grabbed her.

Getting to her feet, Hayami readies her blade once more, glancing around the battlefield to take stock of the situation. They should have significantly cut down the number of demons by now, so-

“Tanjirou!”

To Hayami’s horror, she catches sight of two demons relentlessly pressing Tanjirou back with a continuous barrage of attacks, her friend struggling to fend off their advances. Too preoccupied by them, he doesn’t seem to notice what danger lurks behind him - yet another demon creeping up from the back, ready to pounce.

“Tanjirou-” Hayami tries to call, but before she can rush to his aid, another of the demon’s copies lunges at her out of the bushes, attempting to bite off her legs. Kicking out with all her strength, the demon goes flying back some distance, crashing to the ground hard. “Tanjirou, behind you!”

Tanjirou whirls around at the sound of Hayami’s voice, but it’s too late - the demon has already lunged, its claws outstretched and teeth bared. At the same time, the demon that she’d been dealing with picks itself off the ground, spitting grass out of its mouth, and charges at her again, ready to tear her to shreds.

Hayami doesn’t hesitate. Flipping the blade in her hand, she draws her arm back and throws, with every ounce of strength that she has.

The blade severs the demon’s neck cleanly just as pain erupts across her torso. With a cry, she stumbles back, her hand pressed against the wound, hot blood seeping through her fingers. All she can do is take shallow breaths to try to cope with the agony, doing her best to remain on her feet. Out of the corner of her eye, the remaining copies of the demon let out wails of despair as they begin to crumble into ash. Then, the one that had tried to attack Tanjirou must have been…

“Hayami! Hayami, are you alright?” Tanjirou’s voice comes from above her, and it’s only then that she realises that she’s sagged to her knees. “Oh god… the blood…”

“It’s… not as bad as it seems,” Hayami manages to breathe out. “It just looks like a lot of blood… but it’s not deep. The demon?”

“It’s dead. The demon you threw the sword at ended up being the original.” She can hear rustling as Tanjirou crouches next to her side, rummaging about the inside of his haori for his first aid pack. “The second it died, the rest of the copies turned to ash with it.”

“That’s good to hear…” Hayami mumbles. The blood loss is making her feel slightly dizzy, the canopy of the forest almost blending with the night sky overhead in swirls of dark green and deep indigo. “If I puke… don’t mind me.”

“Don’t be silly, you saved me,” Tanjirou’s voice is a little shaky, and that makes Hayami want to frown. Does he feel guilty over it? He shouldn’t - she just did what she wanted to, and that was that. She’s sure he would do the same for her, were their positions reversed. “I’m going to bandage your wound now to slow the blood loss before I take you back to the Butterfly Estate for proper treatment.” He lets out a quiet wince. “It’s going to hurt.”

“Can I hold your hand?” Hayami asks before she can fully run that question past her mind. The second the words leave her lips, she desperately wants to swallow them back - this isn’t the time for that! Before she can tell Tanjirou she was just joking, however, she feels a warm, callused hand wrap around hers firmly, lacing her fingers with his.

“Of course you can.” Tanjirou whispers quietly. When she glances up, she is surprised to see Tanjirou looking right at her, his eyes nearly brimming over with worry and concern. “I’ll try to be as gentle as I can, alright?”

Hayami wonders if her cheeks can still turn red with the amount of blood that she’s lost, and finds herself momentarily relieved that the answer to that is likely a ‘no’. That’s when she realises just how far she’s gone and simply nods her head in acceptance. “I know.” She squeezes his hand reassuringly. “I trust you, Tanjirou.”

She says that, but the pain that seems to surge out of nowhere when Tanjirou wraps the bandage around her waist almost knocks her flat and has her vision white. Hayami isn’t sure if she’s crying, all she knows is that it hurts and it burns and it-

“I’m so sorry… I’m so, so sorry…” Tanjirou’s voice is like a balm, spreading over the fear and anxiety. It cuts through the thick haze of pain clouding her mind, and when Hayami forces her eyes open once more, she sees Tanjirou gently stroking her cheeks, his eyes wet with tears. He’s crying. Hayami hates to see anyone cry. She hates it even more when it is Tanjirou who is crying, worse of all, over her.

Oh, she realises, as his thumb brushes along her cheekbones. He’s wiping my tears as well.

“It’s fine,” Hayami croaks out. She can’t bear to see him cry because of her - that stings far more than any demon’s claws or teeth could. Her throat stings painfully with each word, as if she’s just swallowed an entire gourd of acid. Was she screaming the entire time? Only slightly embarrassing… “Wasn’t… your fault....”

She lets out another cry of pain when Tanjirou ties off the bandage tightly, although this one is quickly cut off when she hunches over and lets out a quiet whimper. “Really, I’m fine… or at least… I think I will be.”

“I’ll get you to Shinobu-san right away.” Gentle arms wrap around her, careful to avoid her bandaged midsection as Tanjirou lifts her into a bridal carry. Hayami thinks she might be embarrassed, but after a few seconds, it doesn’t come - all she feels is warmth, safety and comfort.

His arms feel like the home that she never had.

Something that she could only dream of.

“Don’t fall asleep just yet,” Tanjirou’s voice interrupts her thoughts, and when Hayami has to blink her eyes open again she realises that she was about to drift off into sleep. They’re running, or well, Tanjirou is running, feet slapping lightly against the ground and trying his best not to jolt her about too much. Hayami is grateful for that. “Please, wait until I get you to Shinobu-san at least.”

His voice is trembling slightly. He must be terrified.

“I don’t think that’s proper first aid protocol, but alright…” Hayami can’t help the small smile that tugs at the corner of her lips as she looks up at him, the determined line his mouth is pulled into. Handsome… what? Is her mind bleeding out of her along with her blood? “Talk to me? I’m feeling… hnng… a little sleepy…”

She’s just so tired.

“Sure,” Tanjirou agrees almost immediately as he leaps over a large tree root protruding out of the ground, continuing to race through the trees. From what Hayami can see, the forest is already starting to thin, more distance between the trees. They’re leaving the forest soon, and for some reason, Hayami doesn’t want this to end. She wants to stay in Tanjirou’s arms longer… “What did you do during all those weeks we were apart? Did anyone try to propose to you again?”

A laugh, weak as it is, bubbles out of Hayami. Light and fluttery, even though it tugs at the slashes along her midsection and makes a dull ache radiate outward through her body. Of all the questions he could ask... “No, not really… most of my missions happened in remote areas, so I didn’t interact with a lot of people. Why do you ask?”

A pause, before he answers. “No reason.” It doesn’t sound like there is no reason. “I just… wanted to know.” There’s another pause, longer this time, before he speaks again. Another question. “Earlier, during the fight… how did you know that the demon you threw your sword at was the original?”

The cherry blossoms are blooming, Hayami notices, even though her eyelids feel as though there are weights on them, their pink petals outlined in the gold of the lamps that burn around the Butterfly Mansion.

“I didn’t…” Hayami yawns. She’s really tired now, and the night sky and cherry blossoms blend together into swirls of pink and black. It reminds her of Nezuko’s hair. “Just saw it coming for you… moved without thinking... got a lucky hit… that’s all.”

Faintly, she feels Tanjirou’s arms stiffen around her. His warmth is like that of a charcoal furnace, radiating heat and making her wonder if that’s what home is supposed to feel like too.

“Thank you, Hayami.” Tanjirou’s whisper is the last thing she hears before her eyes slip shut. “Thank you.”

She just did something she wanted to, Hayami thinks as she slips into darkness.

There was nothing to thank her for.

The beds in the medical wing are soft.

They’re all very soft, very comfortable. But Hayami’s starting to get a little bored of soft and comfortable, after having been confined to bed rest for about two weeks now. Luckily for her, the weather today seems to be pleasant, the sun shining brightly in the sky and a gentle breeze moving through the air, so she makes to climb off the bed to open the windows at the very least because she’s desperate for any reason to get off the mattress-

The door to the medical wing slides open. “Hayami, you’re not supposed to be out of bed!”

It’s as if he just knows! Every! Single! Time! Hayami freezes with one foot on the floorboards like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, an awkward laugh starting to bubble out of her. “Well, yes, I know that, I just… wanted to open the windows.”

Before she can even finish that sentence, Tanjirou is already hurrying to her bedside, hands gentle as he helps her back into the bed, tucks her blanket tightly around her - whether it’s intentional or not, she doesn’t know. “You wanted to open the windows, didn’t you?” Turning around, he does so for her, and the sunlight falls onto her lap, golden and warm. “You should be resting!”

Three slashes. About five inches each. A handful of stitches. Not the worst Hayami has faced, in her opinion, but enough to warrant a month’s worth of bed rest. And it’s driving her crazy.

“But Tanjirou,” Hayami doesn’t normally pout, but she does now. Being forced to stay in bed for two weeks will do that to you. It changes people. “I’m already resting. I’m so rested I can’t possibly rest any more. If I lie in this bed for one more day, I’m going to end up becoming one with it. Please let me out.”

Tanjirou only hesitates for a few seconds before he shakes his head, holding both hands out in front of him as if trying to physically block her puppy dog eyes. “That’s not up to me, that’s Shinobu-san’s decision…” His gaze falls to the floorboards, brows pinching together slightly. “And besides, it was my fault you ended up in this position in the first place…”

Before he can wallow in his guilt any more, Hayami reaches out to poke him squarely in the forehead. She’s mildly sure that hurt her finger more than it did his head, but it seems to have done the trick - Tanjirou looks up at her, surprised. She can see the slight worry in his eyes, the way his lips press together whenever he looks at her.

Knowing that guilt is what Tanjirou feels when he looks at her… Hayami doesn’t like that in the least.

“Hayami?”

“Hey,” Hayami says sternly, reaching out to tug Tanjirou closer to her bedside. Tanjirou only looks up at her, a nervous, slightly pained expression on his face. “If you had been in my position, and you saw me about to get slashed by a demon, would you have done the same thing?”

Tanjirou looks away for a moment, chews his bottom lip and sighs. His answer is obvious, and both of them know it.

“Yes,” he answers, but from the look on his face, he doesn’t seem to have entirely let go of the guilt he feels. “But you probably wouldn’t have needed saving, like I did. If only I could become stronger… become better… then-”

“That’s not what matters.” Hayami tells him, putting a finger to his lips so that he falls silent, looking at her with those kind, kind eyes. “I did for you what you would have done for me. We’ve got each others’ backs, am I right? I just happened to be the one with a choice this time.”

Tanjirou’s lips press together, his face suddenly scrunching up. For a moment, Hayami wonders if he’s about to cry.

“Yeah, I just…” a soft sniff, “I’ll make sure it won’t happen again next time.”

“See?” Hayami smiles, tugs at his cheek. The corner of Tanjirou’s lips twitch up in response. It’s not quite a smile, but it’s better than that pained expression he’s been wearing for the past two weeks whenever he thought she wasn’t looking. “Positive mindset, am I right?”

“Right, I just… Ah, I forgot the reason why I came here. I had something I wanted to tell you.” Tanjirou’s face suddenly falls again. “I have another mission assigned already. I’m heading out right after this.” He looks at her, and there’s something about his gaze that makes Hayami want to dive under the blanket. It looks like longing… “I wanted to stay until you healed completely, but you know…”

Hayami knows, but it doesn’t mean that she has to like it. A little, selfish feeling nudges her in her chest. She wants Tanjirou to stay longer with her. Just a little longer. Just a bit more...

“The corps are always understaffed, I understand.” Hayami answers, reaches out to take his hand in hers. Her fingers trace patterns over the rough skin, the calluses. “Kibutsuji Muzan isn’t going to wait for any of us. Always demons out there to slay…”

“Always people out there to save,” Tanjirou finishes her sentence for her. He doesn’t look like he wants to leave though, his fingers still wrapped firmly around her wrist, his touch, lingering. Part of her can’t help the happiness welling up in her chest. “I’ll send letters.”

“That’ll help keep me occupied while I get all well and rested.” Hayami smiles. “Then, I can look forward to you telling me all about your missions?”

Tanjirou nods, his hand finally falling away from hers. In that instant, however, Hayami finds herself immediately missing his touch. “Definitely.”

Hayami raises her hand to wave goodbye, but before she can bid him goodbye, she feels a gentle pressure against the side of her cheek, so fleeting she wonders if she had imagined it. Then the pressure is gone, and Tanjirou is looking at her with eyes so gentle she can hardly stand it.

“See you soon, Hayami!” Tanjirou flashes her a quick smile, pink tinted cheeks and all, before he runs out of the medical wing. And all Hayami is able to do is sit there in shock, mouth hanging slightly agape as she stares after him, long after he leaves. Slowly, she raises her hand to her cheek, touching where the warmth spreading over her face seems to have originated from.

His lips were soft...

“See you soon too, Tanjirou,” Hayami whispers to herself.

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