#rooni's shit

[sm-baby]

So… about The Eyes of Cats, I have a fair few questi-roonies about it;

1) Are the two humans related? If so, how large is the family?

2) Why did the Aliens conquer earth? Is it because we’re cute?

3) Is the world a dystopian parallel to how humans treat cats and all the humans are subservient to their Alien overlords?

If the last question is true, I’m taking a shit on their carpet out of spite for taking my 🎾🎾

Yup! They are grandfather and grand child!

In this universe, The Zoo Theory is true! They just stepped in because they realized that we were self-destructing... Also yeah, because we're cute (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

3. Yep! Thats where the name came from! Though we don't really consider them our overlords... Theyre kinda just our pals

You can absolutely shit on their carpet for cutting off your balls and youll only get a slap on the wrist cuz they love their little bastard cat (you)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Petard, Part III

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/01/miskatonic-networks/#landlord-telco-industrial-complex

Last week, Trump's FCC chair Brendan Carr reversed a rule that banned your landlord from taking kickbacks in exchange for forcing you to use whatever ISP was willing to pay the biggest bribe for the right to screw you over:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2025/01/fcc-chair-nixes-plan-to-boost-broadband-competition-in-apartment-buildings/

Corporate fascists and their captured regulators are, of course, that most despicable of creatures: they are plagiarists. Like so many of our tech overlords, they have mistaken dystopian sf as a suggestion, rather than as a warning. I take this personally, because I actually wrote this as an sf story in 2013, and it was published in 2014 in MIT Tech Review's Twelve Tomorrows, edited by Bruce Sterling and published in 2014:

https://mitpress.mit.edu/9780262535595/twelve-tomorrows-2014/

I adapted it for my podcast, in four installments:

https://archive.org/details/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_278

https://archive.org/details/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_292

https://archive.org/details/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_293

https://archive.org/details/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_294_-_Petard_04

And, given the new currency of this old story, I thought it was only fitting that I serialize it here, on my blog, also in four parts.

Here's part one:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/30/landlord-telco-industrial-complex/#part-one

Here's part two:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/31/the-blood-speech/#part-two

And now, onto part three:

One of the early Ftp code contributors was now CTO for an ISP, and they'd gotten their start as a dorm co-op at Brown that had metastasized across New England. Sanjay had been pretty important to the early days of Ftp, helping us get the virtualization right so that it could run on pretty much any cloud without a lot of jiggery and/or pokery. Within a day of emailing Sanjay, I was having coffee with the vice-president of business development for Miskatonic Networks, who was also Sanjay's boyfriend's girlfriend, because apparently ISPs in New England are hotbeds of Lovecraft-fandom polyamory. Her name was Kadijah and she had a southie accent so thick it was like an amateur theater production of Good Will Hunting.

"The Termite Mound?" She laughed. "Shit yeah, I know that place. It's still standing? I went to some super sketchy parties there when I was a kid, I mean sooooper sketchy, like sketch-a-roony. I can't believe no one's torched the place yet."

"Not yet," I said. "And seeing as all my stuff's there right now, I'm hoping that no one does for the time being."

"Yeah, I can see that." I could not get over her accent. It was the most Bostonian thing I'd encountered since I got off the train. "OK, so you want to know what we'd charge to provide service to someone at the Termite Mound?"

"Uh, no. I want to know what you'd charge per person if we could get you the whole Mound — every unit in the residence. All 250 of them."

"Oh." She paused a second. "This is an Ftp thing, right?"

"Yeah," I said. "That's how I know Sanjay. I, uh, I started Ftp." I don't like to brag, but sometimes it makes sense in the context of the conversation, right?

"That was you? Wicked! So you're seriously gonna get the whole dorm to sign up with us?"

"I will if you can get me a price that I can sell to them," I said.

"Oh," she said. Then "Oh! Right. Hmm. Leave it with me. You say you can get them all signed up?"

"I think so. If the price is right. And I think that if the Termite Mound goes with you that there'll be other dorms that'll follow. Maybe a lab or two," I said. I was talking out of my ass at this point, but seriously, net-censorship in the labs at MIT? It was disgusting. It could not stand.

"Damn," she said. "Sounds like you're majoring in Ftp. Don't you have classes or something?"

"No," I said. "This is basically exactly what I figured college would be like. A cross between summer camp and an Stanford obedience experiment. If all I wanted to do was cram a bunch of knowledge into my head, I could have stayed home and mooced it. I came here because I wanted to level up and fight something tough and even dangerous. I want to spend four years getting into the right kind of trouble. Going to classes too, but seriously, classes? Whatever. Everyone knows the good conversations happen in the hallway between the formal presentations. Classes are just an excuse to have hallways."

She looked skeptical and ate banana bread.

"It's your deal," she said.

I could hear the but hanging in the air between us. She went and got more coffees and brought them back along with toasted banana bread dripping with butter for me. She wouldn't let me pay, and told me it was on Miskatonic. We were a potential big account. She didn't want to say "But" because she might offend me. I wanted to hear the "but."

"But?"

"But what?"

"It's my deal but…?"

"But, well, you know, you don't look after your grades, MIT'll put you out on your ass. That's how it works in college. I've seen it."

I chewed my banana bread.

"Hey," she said. "Hey. Are you OK, Lukasz?"

"I'm fine," I said.

She smiled at me. She was pretty. "But?"

I told her about my talk with AA, and about Juanca, and about how I felt like nobody was giving me my propers, and she looked very sympathetic, in a way that made me feel much younger. Like toddler younger.

"MIT is all about pranks, right? I think if I could come up with something really epic, they'd –" And as I said it, I realized how dumb it was. They laughed at me in Vienna, I'll show them! "You know what? Forget about it. I got more important things to do than screw around with those knob-ends. Work to do, right? Get the network opened up around here, you and me, Kadijah!"

"Don't let it get to you, you'll give yourself an aneurism. I'll get back to you soon, OK?"

#

I fished a bead out of my pocket and wedged it into my ear.

"Who is this?"

"Lukasz?" The voice was choked with tears.

"Who is this?" I said again.

"It's Bryan." I couldn't place the voice or the name.

"Bryan who?"

"From the Termite Mound's customer service desk." Then I recognized the voice. It was the elf, and he was having hysterics. Part of me wanted to say, Oh, diddums! and hang up. Because elves, AMR? But I'm not good at tough love.

"What's wrong?"

"They've fired me," he said. "I got called into my boss's office an hour ago and he told me to start drawing up a list of people to kick out of the dorm — he wanted the names of people who supported you. I was supposed to go through the EULAs for the dorm and find some violations for all of them –"

"What if they didn't have any violations?"

He made a sound between a sob and a laugh. "Are you kidding? You're always in violation! Have you read the EULA for the Mound? It's like sixty pages long."

"OK, gotcha. So you refused and you got fired?"

There was a pause. It drew out. "No," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "I gave them a bunch of names, and then they fired me."

Again, I was torn between the impulse to hang up on him and to hear more. Nosiness won (nosiness always wins; bets on nosiness are a sure thing). "Nicely done. Sounds like just deserts to me. What do you expect me to do about it?" But I knew. There were only two reasons to call me after something like this: to confess his sins or to get revenge. And no one would ever mistake me for a priest.

"I've got the names they pulled. Not just this time. Every time there's been any kind of trouble in the Termite Mound, MIT Residence has turfed out the troublemakers on some bogus EULA violation. They know that no one cares about student complaints, and there's always a waiting list for rooms at the Termite Mound, it's so central and all. I kept records."

"What kind of records?"

"Hardcopies of emails. They used disappearing ink for all the dirty stuff, but I just took pictures of my screen with my drop and saved it to personal storage. It's ugly. They went after pregnant girls, kids with disabilities. Any time there was a chance they'd have to do an air quality audit or fix a ramp, I'd have to find some reason to violate the tenant out of residence." He paused a moment. "They used some pretty bad language when they talked about these people, too."

The Termite Mound should've been called the Roach Motel: turn on the lights and you'd find a million scurrying bottom-feeders running for the baseboards.

I was going to turn on the lights.

"You've got all that, huh?

"Tons of it," he said. "Going back three years. I knew that if it ever got out that they'd try and blame it on me. I wanted records."

"OK," I said. "Meet me in Harvard Square, by the T entrance. How soon can you get there?"

"I'm at the Coop right now," he said. "Using a study-booth."

"Perfect," I said. "Five minutes then?"

"I'm on my way."

The Coop's study booths had big signs warning you that everything you did there was recorded — sound, video, infrared, data — and filtered for illicit behavior. The signs explained that there was no human being looking at the records unless you did something to trip the algorithm, like that made it better. If a tree falls in the forest, it sure as shit makes a sound; and if your conversation is bugged, it's bugged — whether or not a human being listens in right then or at some time in the infinite future of that data.

I beat him to the T entrance, and looked around for a place to talk. It wasn't good. From where I stood, I could see dozens of cameras, the little button-sized dots discretely placed all around the square, each with a little scannable code you could use to find out who got the footage and what it's policy was. No one ever, ever, ever bothered to do this. Ever. EULAs were not written for human consumption: a EULA's message could always be boiled down to seven words: "ABANDON HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE." Or, more succinctly: "YOU LOSE."

I felt bad about Bryan's job. It was his own deal, of course. He'd stayed even after he knew how evil they were. And I hadn't held a gun to his head and made him put himself in the firing line. But of course, I had convinced him to. I had led him to. I felt bad.

Bryan turned up just as I was scouting a spot at an outdoor table by an ice-cream parlor. They had a bunch of big blowing heaters that'd do pretty good white-noise masking, a good light/dark contrast between the high-noon sun and the shade of the awning that would screw up cameras' white-balance, and the heaters would wreak havoc on the infra-red range of the CCTVs, or so I hoped. I grabbed Bryan, clamping down on his skinny arm through the rough weave of his forest-green cloak and dragged him into my chosen spot.

"You got it?" I said, once we were both seated and nursing hot chocolates. I got caffeinated marshmallows; he got Thai ghost pepper-flavored — though that was mostly marketing, no way those marshmallows were over a couple thousand Scovilles.

"I encrypted it with your public key," he said, handing me a folded up paper. I unfolded it and saw that it had been printed with a stegoed QR code, hidden in a Victorian woodcut. That kind of spycraft was pretty weaksauce — the two-dee-barcode-in-a-public-domain-image thing was a staple of shitty student clickbait thrillers — but if he'd really managed to get my public key and verify it and then encrypt the blob with it, I was impressed. That was about ten million times more secure than the average fumbledick ever managed. The fact that he'd handed me a hardcopy of the URL instead of emailing it to me, well, that was pretty sweet frosting. Bryan had potential.

I folded the paper away. "What should I be looking for?"

"It's all organized and tagged. You'll see." He looked nervous. "What are you going to do with it?"

"Well, for starters, I'm going to call them up and tell them I have it."

"What?" He looked like he was going to cry.

"Come on," I said. "I'm not going to tell them where I got it. The way you tell it, I'm about to get evicted, right?"

"Technically, you are evicted. There's a process-server waiting at every entrance to the Termite Mound doing face-recognition on the whole list. Soon as you go home, bam. 48 hours to clear out."

"Right," I said. "I don't want to have to go look for a place to live while I'm also destroying these shitbirds and fixing everyone's Internet connection. Get serious. So I'm going to go and talk to Messrs Amoral, Nonmoral and Immoral and explain that I have a giant dump of compromising messages from them that I'm going public with, and it'll look really, really bad for them if they turf me out now."

It's time for a true confession. I am not nearly as brave as I front. All this spycraft stuff, all the bluster about beating these guys on their home turf, yeah, in part I'm into it — I like it better than riding through life like a foil chip-bag being swept down a polluted stream on a current of raw sewage during a climate-change-driven superstorm.

But the reality is that I can't really help myself. There's some kind of rot-fungus that infects the world. Things that are good when they're small and personal grow, and as they grow, their attack-surface grows with them, and they get more and more colonized by the fungus, making up stupid policies, doing awful stuff to the people who rely on them and the people who work for them, one particle of fungus at a time, each one just a tiny and totally defensible atomic-sized spoor of rot that piles up and gloms onto all the other bits of rot until you're a walking, suppurating lesion.

No one ever set out to create the kind of organization that needs to post a "MIT RESIDENCY LLC OPERATES A ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICY TOWARD EMPLOYEE ABUSE. YOU CAN BE FINED UP TO $2000 AND/OR IMPRISONED FOR SIX MONTHS FOR ASSAULTING A CAMPUS RESIDENCE WORKER" sign. You start out trying to do something good, then your realize you can get a little richer by making it a little worse. Your thermostat for shittiness gets reset to the new level, so it doesn't seem like much of a change to turn it a notch further towards the rock-bottom, irredeemably shitty end of the scale.

The truth is that you can get really rich and huge by playing host organism to the rot-fungus. The rot-fungus diffuses its harms and concentrates its rewards. That means that healthy organisms that haven't succumbed to the rot-fungus are liable to being devoured by giant, well-funded vectors for it — think of the great local business that gets devoured by an awful hedge-fund in a leveraged takeover, looted and left as a revolting husk to shamble on until it collapses under its own weight.

I am terrified of the rot-fungus, because it seems like I'm the only person who notices it most of the time. Think of all those places where the town council falls all over itself to lure some giant corporation to open a local factory. Don't they notice that everyone who works at places like that hates every single moment of every single day? Haven't they ever tried to converse with the customer-service bots run by one of those lumbering dinos?

I mean, sure, the bigs have giant budgets and they'll take politicians out for nice lunches and throw a lot of money at their campaigns, but don't these guardians of the public trust ever try to get their cars fixed under warranty? Don't they ever buy a train ticket? Don't they ever eat at a fast food joint? Can't they smell the rot-fungus? Am I the only one? I've figured out how to fight it in my own way. Everyone else who's fighting seems to be fighting against something else — injustice or inequality or whatever, without understanding that the fungus's rot is what causes all of those things.

I'm convinced that no normal human being ever woke up one morning and said, "Dammit, my life doesn't have enough petty bureaucratic rules, zero-tolerance policies, censorship and fear in it. How do I fix that?" Instead, they let this stuff pile up, one compromise at a time, building up huge sores suppurating with spore-loaded fluids that eventually burst free and beslime everything around them. It gets normal to them, one dribble at a time.

"Lukasz, you're don't know what you're doing. These guys, they're –"

"What?" I said. "Are they the mafia or something? Are they going to have me dropped off a bridge with cement overshoes?"

He shook his head, making the twigs and beads woven into the downy fluff of his hair clatter together. "No, but they're ruthless. I mean, totally ruthless. They're not normal."

The way he said it twinged something in my hindbrain, some little squiggle of fear, but I pushed it away. "Yeah, that's OK. I'm used to abnormal." I am the most abnormal person I know.

"Be careful, seriously," he said.

"Thanks, Bryan," I said. "Don't worry about me. You want me to try and get your room back, too?"

He chewed his lip. "Don't," he said. "They'll know it was me if you do that."

I resisted the urge to shout at him to grow a spine. These assholes had cost him his home and his job (OK, I'd helped) and he was going to couch-surf it until he could find the rarest of treasures: an affordable place to live in Cambridge, Mass? Even if he was being tortured by his conscience for all his deplorable selloutism, he was still being a total wuss. But that was his deal. I mean, he was an elf, for chrissakes. Who knew what he was thinking?

"Suit yourself," I said, and went and made some preparations.

#

Messers Amoral, Nonmoral and Immoral had an office over the river in Boston, in a shabby office-block that only had ten floors, but whose company directory listed over 800 businesses. I knew the kind of place, because they showed up whenever some hairy scam unravelled and they showed you the office-of-convenience used by the con-artists who'd destroyed something that lots of people cared about and loved in order to make a small number of bad people a little richer. A kind of breeding pit for rot-fungus, in other words.

At first I thought I was going to have to go and sleuth their real locations, but I saw that Amoral, Nonmoral and Immoral had the entire third floor registered to them, while everyone else had crazy-ass, heavily qualified suite numbers like 401c(1)K, indicating some kind of internal routing code for the use of the army of rot-fungus-infected spores who ensured that correspondence was handled in a way that preserved the illusion that each of the multifarious, blandly named shell companies (I swear to Cthulhu that there was one called "International Holdings (Holdings), Ltd") was a real going concern and not a transparent ruse intended to allow the rot-fungus to spread with maximal diffusion of culpability for the carriers who did its bidding.

I punched # # #300# # # on the ancient touchscreen intercom, its surface begrimed with a glossy coat of hardened DNA, Burger King residue and sifted-down dust of the ages. It blatted like an angry sheep, once, twice, three times, then disconnected. I punched again. Again. On the fourth try, an exasperated, wheezing voice emerged: "What?"

"I'm here to speak to someone from MIT Residences LLC."

"Send an email."

"I'm a tenant. My name is Lukasz Romero." I let that sink in. "I've got some documents I'd like to discuss with a responsible individual at MIT Residences LLC." I put a bit of heavy English on documents. "Please." I put even more English on "Please." I've seen the same tough-guy videos that you have, and I can do al-pacinoid overwound Dangerous Dude as well as anyone. "Please," I said again, meaning "Right. Now."

There was an elongated and ominous pause, punctuated by muffled rustling and grumbling, and what may have been typing on an old-fashioned, mechanical keyboard. "Come up," a different voice said. The elevator to my left ground as the car began to lower itself.

#

I'd expected something sinister — a peeling dungeon of a room where old men with armpit-stains gnawed haunches of meat and barked obscenities at each other. Instead, I found myself in an airy, high-ceilinged place that was straight out of the publicity shots for MIT's best labs, the ones that had been set-dressed by experts who'd ensured that no actual students had come in to mess things up before the photographer could get a beautifully lit shot of the platonic perfection.

The room took up the whole floor, dotted with conversation pits with worn, comfortable sofas whose end-tables sported inconspicuous charge-plates for power-hungry gadgets. The rest of the space was made up of new-looking worksurfaces and sanded-down antique wooden desks that emitted the honeyed glow of a thousand coats of wax buffed by decades of continuous use. The light came from tall windows and full-spectrum spotlights that were reflected and diffused off the ceiling, which was bare concrete and mazed with cable-trays and conduit. I smelled good coffee and toasting bread and saw a perfectly kept little kitchenette to my left.

There were perhaps a dozen people working in the room, standing at the worksurfaces, mousing away at the antique desks, or chatting intensely in the conversation pits. It was a kind of perfect tableau of industrious tech-company life, something out of a recruiting video. The people were young and either beautiful, handsome or both. I had the intense, unexpected desire to work here, or a place like this. It had good vibes.

One of the young, handsome people stood up from his conversation nook and smoothed out the herringbone wool hoodie he was wearing, an artfully cut thing that managed to make him look like both a young professor and an undergraduate at the same time. It helped that he was so fresh-faced, with apple cheeks and a shock of curly brown hair.

"Lukasz, right?" He held out a hand. He was wearing a dumbwatch, a wind-up thing in a steel casing that was fogged with a century of scratches. I coveted it instantly, though I knew nothing about its particulars, I was nevertheless certain that it was expensive, beautifully engineered, and extremely rare.

The door closed behind me and the magnet audibly reengaged. The rest of the people in the room studiously ignored us.

"I'm Sergey. Can I get you a cup of coffee? Tea? Some water?"

The coffee smelled good. "No thank you," I said. "I don't think I'll be here for long."

"Of course. Come and sit."

The other participants in his meeting had already vacated the sofas and left us with a conversation pit all to ourselves. I sank into the sofa and smelled the spicy cologne of a thousand eager, well-washed people who'd sat on it before me, impregnating the upholstery with the spoor of their good perfumes.

He picked up a small red enamel teapot and poured a delicious-smelling stream of yellow-green steaming liquid into a chunky diner-style coffee-cup. He sipped it. My stomach growled. "You told the receptionist you wanted to talk about some documents?"

"Yeah," I said, pulling myself together. "I've got documentary evidence of this company illegally evicting tenants — students — who got pregnant, complained about substandard living conditions and maintenance issues, and, in my case, complained about the network filters at the Termite Mound."

He cocked his head for a moment like he was listening for something in the hum and murmur of the office around him. I found myself listening, too, but try as I might, I couldn't pick out a single individual voice from the buzz, not even a lone intelligble word. It was as though they were all going "murmurmurmurmur," though I could see their lips moving and shaping what must have been words.

"Ah," he said at last. "Well, that's very unfortunate. Can you give me a set and I'll escalate them up our chain to ensure that they're properly dealt with?"

"I can give you a set," I said. "But I'll also be giving a set to the MIT ombudsman and the The Tech and the local Wikileaks Party rep. Sergey, forgive me, but you don't seem to be taking this very seriously. The material in my possession is the sort of thing that could get you and your colleagues here sued into a smoking crater."

"Oh, I appreciate that there's a lot of potential liability in the situation you describe, but it wouldn't be rational for me to freak out now, would it? I haven't seen your documents, and if I had, I can neither authenticate them nor evaluate the risk they represent. So I'll take a set from you and ensure that the people within our organization who have the expertise to manage this sort of thing get to them quickly."

It's funny. I'd anticipated that he'd answer like a chatbot, vomiting up Markov-chained nothings from the lexicon of the rot-fungus: "we take this very seriously," "we cannot comment on ongoing investigations," "we are actioning this with a thorough inquiry and post-mortem" and other similar crapola. Instead, he was talking like a hacker on a mailing list defending the severity he'd assigned to a bug he owned.

"Sergey, that's not much of an answer."

He sipped that delicious tea some more. "Is there something in particular you wanted to hear from me? I mean, this isn't the sort of thing that you find out about then everything stops until you've figured out what to do next."

I was off-balance. "I wanted –" I waved my hands. "I wanted an explanation. How the hell did this systematic abuse come about?"

He shrugged. He really didn't seem very worried "Hard to say, really. Maybe it was something out of the labs."

"What do you mean, 'the labs'?"

He gestured vaguely at one cluster of particularly engrossed young men and women who were bent over screens and worksurfaces, arranged in pairs or threesomes, collaborating with fierce intensity, reaching over to touch each others' screens and keyboards in a way I found instantly and deeply unsettling. "We've got a little R&D lab that works on some of our holdings. We're really dedicated to disrupting the rental market. There's so much money in it, you know, but mostly it's run by these entitled jerks who think that they're geniuses for having the brilliant idea of buying a building and then sitting around and charging rent on it. A real old boys' club." For the first time since we started talking, he really seemed to be alive and present and paying attention.

"Oh, they did some bits and pieces that gave them the superficial appearance of having a brain, but there's a lot of difference between A/B splitting your acquisition strategy and really deep-diving into the stuff that matters."

At this stage, I experienced a weird dissonance. I mean, I was there because these people were doing something genuinely villainous, real rot-fungus stuff. On the other hand, well, this sounded cool. I can't lie. I found it interesting. I mean, catnip-interesting.

"I mean, chewy questions. Like, if the median fine for a second citation for substandard plumbing is $400, and month-on-month cost for plumbing maintenance in a given building is $2,000 a month, and the long-term costs of failure to maintain are $20,000 for full re-plumbing on a 8-10 year basis with a 75 percent probability of having to do the big job in year nine, what are the tenancy parameters that maximize your return over that period?"

"Tenancy parameters?"

He looked at me. I was being stupid. I don't like that look. I suck at it. It's an ego thing. I just find it super-hard to deal with other people thinking that I'm dumb. I would probably get more done in this world if I didn't mind it so much. But I do. It's an imperfect world, and I am imperfect.

"Tenancy parameters. What are the parameters of a given tenant that predict whether he or she will call the city inspectors given some variable setpoint of substandard plumbing, set on a scale that has been validated through a rigorous regression through the data that establishes quantifiable inflection points relating to differential and discrete maintenance issues, including leaks, plugs, pressure, hot water temperature and volume, and so on. It's basically just a solve-for-x question, but it's one with a lot of details in the model that are arrived at through processes with a lot of room for error, so the model needs a lot of refinement and continuous iteration.

"And of course, it's all highly sensitive to external conditions — there's a whole game-theoretical set of questions about what other large-scale renters do in response to our own actions, and there's a information-theory dimension to this that's, well, it's amazing. Like, which elements of our strategy are telegraphed when we take certain actions as opposed to others, and how can those be steganographed through other apparent strategies.

"Now, most of these questions we can answer through pretty straightforward business processes, stuff that Amazon figured out twenty years ago. But there's a real risk of getting stuck in local maxima, just you know, overoptimizing inside of one particular paradigm with some easy returns. That's just reinventing the problem, though, making us into tomorrow's dinosaurs.

"If we're going to operate a culture of continuous improvement, we need to be internally disrupted to at least the same extent that we're disrupting those fat, stupid incumbents. That's why we have the labs. They're our chaos monkeys. They do all kinds of stuff that keeps our own models sharp. For example, they might incorporate a separate business and use our proprietary IP to try to compete with us — without telling us about it. Or give a set of autonomous agents privileges to communicate eviction notices in a way that causes a certain number of lawsuits to be filed, just to validate our assumptions about the pain-point at which an action or inaction on our side will trigger a suit from a tenant, especially for certain profiles of tenants.

"So there's not really any way that I can explain specifically what happened to the people mentioned in your correspondence. It's possible no one will ever be able to say with total certainty. I don't really know why anyone would expect it to be otherwise. We're not a deterministic state-machine, after all. If all we did was respond in set routines to set inputs, it'd be trivial to innovate around us and put us out of business. Our objective is to be strategically nonlinear and anti-deterministic within a range of continuously validated actions that map and remap a chaotic terrain of profitable activities in relation to property and rental. We're not rentiers, you understand. We don't own assets for a living. We do things with them. We're doing commercial science that advances the state of the art. We're discovering deep truths lurking in potentia in the shape of markets and harnessing them — putting them to work."

His eyes glittered. "Lukasz, you come in here with your handful of memos and you ask me to explain how they came about, as though this whole enterprise was a state-machine that we control. We do not control the enterprise. An enterprise is an artificial life-form built up from people and systems in order to minimize transaction costs so that it can be nimble and responsive, so that it can move into niches, dominate them, fully explore them. The human species has spent millennia recombining its institutions to uncover the deep, profound mathematics of power and efficiency.

"It's a terrain with a lot of cul-de-sacs and blind alleys. There are local maxima: maybe a three-move lookahead shows a good outcome from evicting someone who's pregnant and behind on the rent, but the six-move picture is different, because someone like you comes along and makes us look like total assholes. That's fine. All that means is that we have to prune that branch of the tree, try a new direction. Hell, ideally, you'd be in there so early, and give us such a thoroughgoing kicking, that we'd be able to discover and abort the misfire before the payload had fully deployed. You'd be saving us opportunity cost. You'd be part of our chaos-monkey.

"Lukasz, you come in here with your whistleblower memos. But I'm not participating in a short-term exercise. Our mission here is to quantize, systematize, harness and perfect interactions.

"You come in here and you want me to explain, right now, what we're going to do about your piece of information. Here's your answer, Lukasz: we will integrate it. We will create models that incorporate disprovable hypotheses about it, we will test those models, and we will refine them. We will make your documents part of our inventory of clues about the underlying nature of deep reality. Does that answer satisfy you, Lukasz?"

I stood up. Through the whole monologue, Sergey's eyes had not moved from mine, nor had his body-language shifted, nor had he demonstrated one glimmer of excitement or passion. Instead, he'd been matter-of-fact, like he'd been explaining the best way to make an omelet or the optimal public transit route to a distant suburb. I was used to people geeking out about the stuff they did. I'd never experienced this before, though: it was the opposite of geeking out, or maybe a geeking out that went so deep that it went through passion and came out the other side.

It scared me. I'd encountered many different versions of hidebound authoritarianism, fought the rot-fungus in many guises, but this was not like anything I'd ever seen. It had a purity that was almost… seductive.

But beautiful was not the opposite of terrible. The two could easily co-exist.

"I hear that I'm going to get evicted when I get back to the Termite Mound — you've got a process-server waiting for me. That's what I hear."

Sergey shrugged. "And?"

"And? And what use is your deep truth to me if I'm out on the street?"

"What's your point?"

He was as mild and calm as a recorded airport safety announcement. There was something inhuman — transhuman? — in that dispassionate mein.

"Don't kick me out of my place."

"Ah. Excuse me a second."

He finished his tea, set the cup down and headed over to the lab. He chatted with them, touched their screens. The murmur drowned out any words. I didn't try to disguise the fact that I was watching them. There was a long period during which they said nothing, did not touch anything, just stared at the screens with their heads so close together they were almost touching. It was a kind of pantomime of psychic communications.

He came back. "Done," he said. "Is there anything else? We're pretty busy around here."

"Thank you," I said. "No, that's about it."

"All right then," he said. "Are you going to leave me your documents?"

"Yes," I said, and passed him a stack of hardcopies. He looked at the paper for a moment, folded the stack carefully at the middle and put it in one of the wide side-pockets of his beautifully tailored cardigan.

I found my way back down to the ground floor and was amazed to see that the sun was still up. It had felt like hours had passed while Sergey had talked to me, and I could have sworn that the light had faded in those tall windows. But, checking my drop, I saw that it was only three o'clock. I had to be getting home.

There was a process-server waiting ostentatiously in the walkway when I got home, but he looked at me and then down at his screen and then let me pass.

It was only once I was in my room that I realized I hadn't done anything about Bryan's eviction.

[vivisviolets]

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 💬 "what happened to hello- how are you?- my name is- what happened to that?-"💬 ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ⋅☆⋅Who's in your energy?⋅☆⋅

★ and whyyyyyy???

⋅☆⋅ pick the sketch-a-roonie you feel most *drawn* to~ whichever your eyes landed on first, the colors you like most, which aligns with your personality- etc etc!!! ask God/Spirit/higher self if you need more clarification or you are unsure, and feel free to pick more then one- or all of the piles as you may have needed messages scattered throughout!!! last thingy before we start~: remember you are deserving of good things and all that you desire and dream of- no matter where you are in life or how capable/deserving of what you want for your life, you are always deserving- and there is nothing wrong with growing along with having your desires!!!!!! that's beautifullll- srry felt like someone needed to hear that (maybe just me lol) okieee enjoyyy ♡♡♡♡ ⋅☆⋅

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 💬 ꒱ ˎˊ˗ pile 1

⋅☆⋅☆⋅☆⋅

⋅☆⋅ The Hermit, The Fool (reversed), The Sun (reversed), Eight of Swords (bottom of deck) ⋅☆⋅

⋅☆⋅ -(slight 18+ cw)- "independent freak- 7 days a week-" (WHAT 😭), girl boss/boss energy, intellectual attraction, fire placements, air placements, Sagittarius/Pisces/Aquarius placements, Mars ruled, Jupiter ruled, 1212, -Youtuber- Anita Sirene ⋅☆⋅

⋅☆⋅ lolll cards slip sliding everywhere~ we love, we love that~ Hi pile 1s!! Ok OOFH- these cards hon... Looking at them I feel like contributing them to whoever's been around you... But I can't be sure quite yet because I want to focus on you first as much as I can- so we'll discover/uncover if these cards are about you or the energy of others. So I'm hearing you may be new to tarot actually, whether that's reading the cards yourself or looking at tarot-related content (hiiii👋), or for one or two of you- you are not new to tarot, but there is now something different you're doing. A new approach, or you coming at that aspect of your divination differently- but for both of my new and old card seekers/readers you are using tarot in regards to this situation you are currently in... some unsteady/shaken up feelings about your love life...- I'm seeing Anita Sirene so you may be recent viewers/fans of her content and are really aligned with her energy- I'm trying to remember her star sign/placements I think she's a Sagittarius or has other fire placements- you might also be ruled by Mars or Jupiter. You have a very grounded, masculine energy to you- you also possess such an intellectual drive (sharp/curious I'm hearing).

...Along with the energetic alignment of your drive- I'm hearing your sex drive might be significant in your life, a little 18+ cw for the next few sentences- you are very knowledgeable in self-pleasure,- but you particularly like sharing that drive of yours with another person. Someone who you have looked into, and you align with intellectually <--- that is very important to you in a partner, including who you hook up with- I'm also feeling really independent energy from you, I'm hearing you're very "in charge" and "on-top" of pretty much every aspect of your life- and people describe you with those exact phrases, both negatively and positively... I'm hearing a lot of different men/masculine/divine masculine figures talking about you, these are a lot of past people, past bosses, and partners- someone's a doctor or a surgeon... Some of these masc figures were really triggered by how divine your energy is because you made them realize how underdeveloped their masculinity was, and soooo- they mad at you... Still. 😭 omg- they are so bitter, whiny, pathetic-... small. You have 5'10 energy and they are teensy tiny in comparison BAHAHA (that's for my afabs- for my amab its like 6'6 energy,, 💀 damnnn)- but yea these "men" that you rightfully left in the past (kicked out of your temple and on the curb I'm hearing) are still talking shit about you, calling you "cold"-"too busy"-"self-absorbed", calling you a b!t@h- just laugh my dear darling. Just laughhh because they are just proving your reason for cutting them out of YOUR life correct and justified to anyone with eyes lol...

They are so ick- major ick, because they talk so much bullshit but it's so clear they're just butt hurt that you don't take them to bed anymore 18+ cw they can crudely call you a "freak" all they want with their drinking buddies, it's sooooooo obvious (it's almost pitiful)- how much they miss sex with you... They miss what you would do and how you would do it-... I've been hearing Pisces placements for a bit (Pisces degrees, Pisces rising, Pisces 8h?) so they also regret not being able/given the golden opportunity to unlock true intimacy with you-... Damn, I need to end this interview full of bullshit that I've been having with your ex-partners. Lolll moving onnn- wrapping it up, they're mad that you leveled up and they couldn't upgrade with you boohoo ah well that's 👏life👏 it's not high school anymore. -Anyways, these past bosses- there is one bad egg and I congratulate you on leaving that environment and I will say no more regarding that~ your other past bosses or bosses you have known however? Glowing reviews. They literally miss you... I don't think there was any affair going on- but I mean take it if it resonates ofc BAHAHOO- but for most of you, they miss how much of a breath of fresh air you were for them in the work/business environment- because they finally found someone who fully aligned with them professionally and responsibility wise- doesn't matter what position you held at the time, as soon as you spoke and showed your capabilities and your mind to them they respected you- you surprised them and they literally recount what you were like to work with- with a twinkle in their eye. Because you knew how to be exactly what you needed to be professionally and be yourself- you are a perfect balance of interacting with connections in a business environment, and adding your fiery flare to it that leaves everyone seeing you as a centerpiece in the workplace/branch- you may dress really nicely too, and add something funky to your business style (big glasses, a pop of color, basics with a patterned piece, etc) so that makes you even more memorable-

You are completely your own person/woman/man, like... Have I told you how much I admire you yet-? Like not to place you on a pedestal but holy shit have you built your own life- not to get into your background rn or anything but fr you have been a builder of yourself and your reality from the start. No matter what you have gone through, you have really transformed and grown strong enough to wield that potential for yourself... So yea!! Really proud of you- I just felt channeled to say that and you fully deserve to hear it and be compensated for all that growth you did for yourself ❤️.~ One last thing before I leave your leopard print patterned energy (that resonates for someone here I know it 😭)- you are looking for a potential life partner, a commitment. Commitment is a keyword for you, you know exactly what your needs are in a life partnership. And I'm so happy to see you are open to finding that. Because I am hearing you struggle with an avoidant-attachment style... And a few self-destructive traits in regards to choosing partners who are of a lower vibration to you- but you're really starting to heal and look at those parts of you, choosing yourself- you guys are into astrology so I see you like to go after Capricorns, and a recent connection might have been a Capricorn/had Capricorn placements- but was underdeveloped and really screwed with you... You wanted them to be the one but they couldn't live up to that and that really triggered their immaturity- that's not your fault, they just weren't the one... And so I want to move on to where you will meet the one~ ...You have not met this person yet (except for a few of you who are literally set to be engaged/are married already to this person omg)- and at this time they seem like some faraway dream... And they are in a way, energetically/physically- they are far away at this time. But they will be coming in and coming close to you in a fast period of time- like one day they're on the other side of the country, and the next they'll be on your side in your city. They will arrive in your workplace environment, or even at church (your place of religious/spiritual worship)- I see you being introduced with maybe one to two other people around you that you already know in this environment. Things will be very cordial, there'll be eye contact and a handshake, maybe even a casual joke on your end and it'll make their eyes twinkle- they are either the same age as you or older, and you'll notice something about their hair (hairline?), and their expression on their face as they hold eye contact. Simply meeting you will cause something in them to align themselves to your vibration- which is what will later down the line be so different, this mutual alignment to each other and this person desiring to be on your level. It may not feel or be described as "love at first sight" but instead a mutual shift that will flow you both to a true life commitment ❤️~. Ok my dear darlings ⭐️, as you can see- you will meet someone to share a commitment with and build with- as I channeled all of that so easily. I'll end it here and if you're curious about more details on your FS then just search for another pac because I have faith that the first one you will be drawn to will give you the most important details for you to know at this time~ paint your toes and have a night in wearing your fluffiest robe with some mood lighting ❤️❤️❤️~.

⋅☆⋅

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 💬 ꒱ ˎˊ˗ pile 2

⋅☆⋅☆⋅☆⋅

⋅☆⋅ Knight of Pentacles, Page of Wands (reversed), The Tower, The Devil (reversed) (bottom of deck) ⋅☆⋅

⋅☆⋅ Blossom (Powerpuff Girls), "lover girl" ("lover boy"/"lover"), any element placements, Taurus/Cancer/Virgo/Aries/Libra/Gemini/Aquarius, 1212, 12:34(pm/am), 111, hoodies/loungewear, dms, the library, book lover, aesthetic reads, romance, "my first (x)", pink/purple/green/white/cream, -Youtuber- deb smikle ⋅☆⋅

⋅☆⋅ You like Lana Del Rey, and you're in/and or back in your Ultraviolence era- and you heavily identify with the "lover girl"/"lover boy"/"lover" archetype. "That's it." I'm hearing spirit saying 😭, ok respect 👏!! Hi Pile 2s!! You are heavily in your feels (or someone might be in their feels about you and this is a shared energy), you have this grounded energy to you naturally but you have a tendency to dream away- and you are very dreamy and in a haze rn... You guys are into literature yea? Definitely book lovers and I'm seeing someone's back to me at a library bookshelf- you definitely have those aesthetic photos on your Pinterest boards. Vision boards, better habits, how you're viewed/perceived, etc 💕. I'm feeling actually a very wide range of astrology placements for this pile- the first sign I heard is Taurus (Sun or other placements), you have Aquarius vibes with how complex and well-written your dreamy side can be in viewing the world (Aquarius Moon, Mercury, etc)- but again, wide range of signs and their placements in this pile, but what you are all sharing is this situation that has your minds and hearts in a haze of dreams and musings... Okkkk come back down to earth is what you are being divinely told- but I see this going out one ear and out the other for more of your musings and haze... Ouch!! Spirit is really warning you to get out of your own head and actually look at your surroundings with your own perspective removed just for a moment-... But I'll get to that later, I want to try and move through this sparkly, pinkish/purple fog around you and see what the cause of it is (outside of you continuing to regulate it)- Oh yea- it's a boy I knew it.<-- Change it for your situation(ship oh no-),- and I just know as I drew your cards... I knew it, your energy by nature is The Knight of Pentacles. You are responsible and outwardly mature. I'm also hearing academic- you are definitely a reader/book lover and you definitely bullet journal. But you get distracted easily... Because due to maybe being thrown into studying and academic fulfillment at a young age- you have this dreamy/romantic/emotional side to you that is underdeveloped... You also struggle then with organization- especially balancing your emotions/right brain, like when was the last time you bullet journaled for yourself??- and also wow, now I am disorganized... Don't worry my pile 2s💗!! We'll discuss more about that later, let me continue to shift through this fog towards this specific person... So you fell for a fire sign/placements person, heavily a masculine to your feminine (not gender identity specific, and take what resonates)- and they made you feel like you were discovering something new, and exciting,- and something you've always "dreamed about". "It's just like the books/the movies"- the poetry, the novels, the romcoms... They have curly hair or darker features/coloring- tall or around your height, a friend but a lover-... They ain't it, and there is something you are not seeing. <-- I could only just bring myself to finish channeling all these physical features about them before that message was pushing its way out- it's not even so much a message, it's a straight-up warning- God/Spirit/the divine is not "mad" at you per se but your guides are feeling like they have to shout at you at this point due to how lost you are choosing to become through this fog... This person (I'm getting Aries or maybe Capricorn/Sagittarius), you are viewing their traits with rose-colored glasses, and that sucks because it may feel you two are very close friends- and that tinted perspective is justified because it's "true love" (I'm hearing Frozen)...

I feel like I'm breaking your heart here and causing you a lot of doubts- but I mean,,, you are still reading- and if what I am channeling for the collective is triggering you, then that is a big golden sign- to look clearly through this romanized fog. (If you don't feel triggered then this is definitely not your pile at this time💗 pick a different one)- this person, is not the bias/vision that you have placed on them, and not in the "they're secretly a monster" way- I mean they are the embodiment of all of your own underdeveloped emotions and secrets I'm hearing- so if you try and hide an underdeveloped immaturity let's say (the developed side of immaturity would be purity/innocence)- then they embody that same immaturity... In fact, the reason why you were drawn to them, is because they remind you of your own underdeveloped traits. The unprocessed traits that you keep hidden, they express theirs openly/externally- and that really attracts you and turns you on about this person, whether you consciously realize that or not... Really it's all of those parts that you continue to be wishy-washy about that are trying to make themselves heard- by pushing your perspective into self-destruction. Ok ummm... Yea. Spirit is telling you to "play it out" for yourself- because it will teach you and cement some very deep/core understandings about yourself and really develop you... But they are still going to be shouting at you- not to trigger your anxiety but in an attempt to deliver clarity to you... Through this glitter bomb fog of sweet smells- and long glances- and poetic excerpts... You will definitely be vent/vague posting relating to them if you haven't already... 💀 I'll be so honest since I feel I've just made a whole call-out post to you- this person is just here for the ride. For the fun, the emotional energy they gain from your focus on them- they are not deep like you are. Not even close. Probably never will be tapped into their own potential depth, isn't that sad? Pathetic?- And don't you dare- I see you- don't you dare think you can "fix" them. Have "delusions" about yourself, not other people's potential actions/free will- that is delusional. That is destructive delusion. -You probably will need to completely deconstruct yourself, and you have the choice after this channeled reading to either go with Spirit allowing you this experience and then the aftermath of playing it out, or you can heed all of their warnings and go fully within yourself. Spirit is being very allowing with you- because you are so loved, divinely loved and I'm not just saying that- you are divinely loved because spirit knows all the potential you have deep inside, and they want you to dig and reach into yourself to unlock it from your depths. They don't want you to sleepwalk through your emotions or live your feelings vicariously through characters anymore- they want so viciously,- and dearly for you to have, and embody your own story... It's beginning to rain, and there are couples- and solo butterflies flying around me- go outside into nature, remove Instagram from your phone for a day, feel the warm air on your skin, and remove the layers made from characters you've read about from your being- there was nothing wrong with them, but you must become your own story at this time.

I think I'll end this right here- your pile was very different then the other 2 I read tbh because of how strong a point was made regarding inner self-work- I feel the urge to say that you are welcome to reach out/ask me regarding your situation/what you can do to begin this inner discovery,- I'll answer you briefly tapping into your alignment/energy, and I apologize for a wait time from me- but yea!!! Ok good luck my pile 2s💕 go bake some cookies or something with pink icing 💗

⋅☆⋅

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 💬 ꒱ ˎˊ˗ pile 3

⋅☆⋅☆⋅☆⋅

⋅☆⋅ The Lovers (reversed), Five of Cups (reversed), Nine of Cups (reversed), Ten of Cups (reversed) (bottom of deck), + bonus card Judgment (reversed) ⋅☆⋅

⋅☆⋅ Sunny, warm skin-warm heart, watery/emotional heart, water placements, Pisces/Cancer/Scorpio, air placement influence, medium/dark coloring, Kate Hudson energy, yellow, 333, 3030, Wattpad, crocheting, -Youtuber- BOZE ⋅☆⋅

⋅☆⋅ Oooooh Pile 3s- going into your energy I was given such imagery of sunlight and sunshine- and now I'm hearing You Are My Sunshine~ You babies are such sweethearts- like you're giving the energy of being like a childhood friend who gives the warmest and most energetic hugs no matter how old they get- it's giving 🔆💛☀️- heavily channeling certain physical features, so you may be on the shorter side, with a really cute athletic build- very evenly proportioned and so strong and full looking- take what resonances!! Somebody however does/did view you like this however, whoever you've given hugs to especially (which does not narrow it down bc you love giving hugs 😌)- in particular, someone who you have to stand on your tiptoes to embrace, with your arms around their neck... UGHHH someone is in love with you!!!!!! OR SOMETHING😭😭!!!!- I don't think that you even know, you have suspicions about it- I see some of you are neutral about the possibility of a romantic relationship with whoever this friend is- and some of you are very preoccupied with the idea of it- but both of you do love whoever this is💛. A whole- WHOLE LOT 💛💛💛 that's why the label of romantic love you may have mixed or strong feelings about because you already love this person... Some of you may have known this person since childhood- this could be a co-worker (someone here works at a grocery store🍏 or fresh food is significant)- or there's just this feeling to your connection that is connected more deeply, it's giving like- a friend that you almost have a sibling bond to, because of how familiar they feel energetically.

-omg I completely lost track of what this reading is about lollllll and also describing you as you are- bc you have someone who's heavily in your energy, and they see you so positively (got randomly spellchecked- the name Antoine might be significant to you, family/friend/familiar word.. 😭)- they have this more grounded energy to them... -take it for your situation because I am seeing for many people that this is a guy/masculine/friend, and for a few of you this is a gal/feminine friend- either way their energy balances with yours so so well, like you are the sunshine to their earth☀️ (I'm hearing the song I was hearing earlier and now the song- You Light Up My Life)... Aaaaauuuugg this person... I would not use the word obsessed to describe how they feel about you- because this energy towards you is way too pure. You have your complications as all connections like this have, and those should be addressed- but at the end of the day if you two landed on a desert island together- you'd live in absolute peace fr lol... Where was I?? Oh sht let me actually get into some different aspects of you 😭- I need to address all the reversals I got, I felt a little untrusting in the cards and wondered if I shuffled my deck wrongly- so I asked for one more reversal as confirmation, and got Judgment in freaking reverse girllllyyyyy 😭 (gn term)- so let's unpack that. Because I definitely am seeing situations in your life relating to these cards-

Something is going on within you that was triggered by those around you... -you were in a friend group/dynamic that made you feel certain negative emotions, fear, panic, or pressure? This may have been regarding someone or people with air placements- I'm hearing Gemini largely- who... I'll just say were rather cruel... But also in general it was an issue of you and them just not being a good match in the same room- you might have tried to become closer to them out of wanting to share your light with them, -and it just ended up with you becoming attached and anxious to their very up/down moods and affectionate to cold attitude... But honey I'll just say, I'm not going to completely put down this person- yes. They are a b-word (gn term 🌞✨)- but you put yourself in the pathway of their behavior. I am sure as heck not blaming you nor shaming you for trying to share your beautiful light with this person/people, but you need to recognize- your own intentions were pure in wanting to bring joy to certain people- but what about you? What is giving joy to other people, whether they deserve it or not based on their actions,- actually doing for you? It is always rewarding enough to do the right thing, to be selfless in treating everyone equally- but those acts are done right only when you do them from a place of personal protection/boundaries and self-respect. Otherwise, you're just the one pulling the weight of the ship (or the group chat I'm hearing lol)- and honey,,, that's not righteous or healthy- it's the opposite because you are not doing yourself the justice of giving your part and allowing the other person to do their part- and honey- that is what healthy group socialization is. Being yourself instead of catering and giving of yourself to everyone. Not everyone is on your level, and not everyone has to like you- that is ok. It isn't your job to fix or be everything to everyone. That is not your purpose. Your purpose is you being something that involves you giving to yourself- how giving you can be to others is a powerful and good aspect of you, but it is not you.

Wow I went off- but you need to start recognizing your own unhealthy behaviors, so you can become better and healthier for yourself in your friendships. It's reminding me a lot of some of Beach Bunny's lyrics, (no shade to her, I have overplayed all of their stuff lol) I myself didn't see it at the time, but after a lot of my own healing I started to really recognize how- people pleasing, anxious attachment style, etc, the lyrics were... And how (just speaking for the character in the lyrics, not the actual writer I don't know her) a lot of the heartbreak and drama could have been avoided if she looked at and addressed her own anxiety issues, instead of focusing on the other party in the situation... It's me, hi, I'm the problem it's me 😭 man I am channeling so much music so you might be listening to so much music for all your different emotions rn. But cereal-sly🥛- start looking at your own triggers instead of who caused them. They're responsible for their own actions, and you are responsible for your reactions to them...

I really went on and I hope I wasn't too harsh to you during this vulnerable time💛- but it is better to stop and be vulnerable, than continue on this hamster wheel. Please cut away from people at this time, more so I mean start recognizing if you feel uncomfortable when you are not constantly sharing yourself- I'm REALLY hearing you should just go ghost with some of the people in your energy- don't even worry or feel guilty about it, because true connections that are actually for your good would respect your mental health break high key- speaking of do open up and let those you trust most about what you are feeling because they care about you so much. Use your intuition instead of your anxious attachment to figure out who these true friends are, and seriously cut out the rest. No matter how triggering it may be to your anxiety, address it, comfort yourself, and heal- because once you learn this newfound respect for your emotions, you're going to shine even fuller than before, and you are going to enjoy this change as much as those who love you so so much do as well. 💛💛💛 RECOVERING PEOPLE PLEASER GANG 🙌 YOU'RE GOING TO BE HAPPIER THEN EVER 🙌 trust and believe~🔆

⋅☆⋅

☆

☆

⋅☆⋅ oh man i thought i was going to sleep 2 hours ago... one day I'll actually reward myself with a full night of sleep 💀.. blessings~!!!

⋅☆⋅ love, vi~♡

[aflippedflop]

FLIPFLOPPED NAME INTERACTIONS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naming the fallen works identically to how it does in Undertale, but I thought it could be fun to add more name easter eggs. :]

[O] - Usable Names

[X] - Unusable Names

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[O] "FRISK" - WARNING! This little shit will drive you insane. Proceed anyway? (Enables Hard Mode)

[O] "ROONEY" or "ROONIE" - ". . . I see."

[X] "MADDIE" - "No. NO. NO! THAT'S MY NAME, BRAT!"

[O] "DUMMY" - "ABOUT TIME YOU REALIZED IT!!"

[O] "METTA", "MTT", or "TONTON" - "OOO~ PROMOTING MY BRAND ARE YOU DARLING?"

[X] "LEGDAD" - "SORRY DARLING, BUT THAT ALREADY MY NAME. IT SAYS SO ON THIS MUG. (ALPHYS GET ME A MUG AND A MARKER)"

[O] "HAPSTA" - "YOU CAN HAVE THAT NAME, DARLING. I DON'T NEED IT ANYMORE."

[O] "NAPSTA", "BLOOKY", or "BLOOK" - "oh... that's my name... i don't think it'll hurt to let you use it."

[X] "ALPHYS" - "H-Hey! Don't do that!"

[O] "ALPHY" or "ALPH" - "Umm. I guess that works???"

[X] "UNDYNE" - "Nuh-uh! Get your OWN name, snotface!"

[X] "PAPYRU", "PAPS", OR "PAPY" - "WOWIE! WHAT AN AWESOME NAME. THOUGH I WOULD RECOMMEND CHOOSING A CODE NAME TO USE INCASE WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM!" (Makes you go back to the menu.)

[O] "sans" or "lazymf" - "i doubt that's your actual name, but who am i to rain on your parade, i guess."

[X] "ASGORE" - "I wouldn't want to wish this name on anyone. Please pick a different name, young one."

[O] "GOREY" - "You must be serious about this. I suppose this wouldn't hurt anyone."

[X] "TORIEL" - "Perhaps you should try picking a different name, my child. Come on, think!"

[X] "TORI" - "Uh, you are... getting the right idea, I think. But maybe try something else."

[X] "ASRIEL" or "AZZY" - "In your dreams, kid! First come, first served."

[X] "FLOWEY" - "Sorry pal, I already chose that name!"

[O] "FLOWEE" - "REAL creative solution."

[X] "CHARA" - "Demons can not be named the same name. Try again. =)"

[O] "MUFFET" or "TUFFET" - "Alright dearie, don't worry, I'll just put it on your tab~ (WARNING: THIS ENABLES TAX PAYER MODE. YOU WILL BE BROKE.)" (You start the game with -9999 G.)

[O] "SOURPU" - "Little buddy, This name is already giving me hell. Please save yourself and pick something else."

[X] "NICEZ" or "NCG" - "Sorry buddy. I'm not taking sponsors right now."

[X] "NICEE" - "Plagerism isn't very nice, buddy. Try something else. I know you can do it!"

[O] "GRILLB" - "............. fine."

[X] "TEMMIE" - "woAhz! WoAHZ! u an tem has same names!! but wait tem already pick dis name? ;w; sowee!"

[O] "TEMMIY" - "YaYAYayAYAYA!!! pwoblem solv!"

[O] "QC" or "QT" - "Hahaha! Welcome to the crew then, Hun."

[O] "BRATTY" - "Like! OHMYGOD! That's my name, creep!"

[O] "CATTY" - "Like! OHMYGOD! Bratty! Bratty! That's like, MY NAME!"

[O] "GASTER" or "GEETER" - "............ YEAH, SURE WHY NOT."

[O] "SEMI" - "HMM?! EH?! WHO'S THERE?! WHO'S INTERRUPTING MY NAP?!"

[O] "GERSON" or "GERSY" - "I highly doubt that dorky name is yer' actual name, whipper snapper. But SURE, why not? WAH HA HA!"

[O] "RIVER" or "RIVERP" - "Tra la la. Maybe that is really your name. Maybe it isn't. It doesn't matter anyway."

[X] "MK" or "GONER" - (Crashes the game)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OTHER NAME EASTER EGGS

[X] "TOBY" - "Bark Bark!"

[O] "KRIS" - "Very interesting..."

[O] "SUZY" or "SUSIE" - "Get your own name DUMBASS!" (Instead of a "Proceed" button to confirm your name, the Proceed Button is replaced with "Ignore.'

[O] "NOEL" or "NOELLE" - "Uhm... I can't stop you, b-but, please don't???"

[O] "BIRDLY" or "BERDLY" - Hmm! It's probably the smartest choice for your name! It's not as smart as ME, though!"

[X] "RUDY" - "And risk you ruining my reputation as mayor?! Nope. Beat it."

[X] "DESS" - "I see you found the cool name. Sorry, kid. Already picked this name."

[X] "CAROL" - "......... no."

[O] "CLOVER" - "I don't see why not pard'ner!"

[X] "CEROBA" or "ROBA" - "Absolutely not."

[X] "AXIS" - "ERROR. NAME UNUSABLE. LOSER."

[X] "NORTHS" or "STARLO" - "Sorry partner, but this name ain't big enough for the two of us!"

[X] "CHUJIN" - "This is Chujin... Piss off. This is my name."

[X] "MARTLE" or "MARTLT" - "Hahaha! I'm flattered, but no, this is my name."

[X] "KANAKO" - "(They refuse to let you pick this name.)"

[X] "MO" - "Laaame! I didn't die fer' you to steal my name, kid."

[X] "DALV" - "This name carries too much grief. Sorry..."

[X] "PANGIR" or "PGIRL" - (In Comic Sans) "uh, yeah no. pick another one, bucko."

[X] "HOOLYA" - "You're an idiot if you think you can just steal my name. Beat it."

[X] "MONO" - "(I don't care who you are, Noir what you say. This name is reserved for a real hero.)"

[O] "CHLOE" - "This name feels so familiar. You are filled with the power of... giraffes?"

[O] "LILY" or "VIOLET" - "Don't worry. No Mushrooms or Hot topics to be seen down here... right?"

[O] "ROYELL" - "The name of royalty! You are filled with the power of... MK and Ronalds???"

[O] "JEFFRY" - "Have no fear, for I am a professional lawyer!"

[O] "SUSHI" - "No."

[O] "PORK" or "PROCTR" - "The EVILEST NAME!"

[X] "ARCHIE" - "(Fun fact! Raccoons are our founding fathers! Unless you are a raccoon, you won't be getting this name.)

[O] "PETER", "CHMUET", and "MOON" - "(You must be a wonderful person if you pick this name! We hope you succeed in whatever you are doing now.)"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MISC NAMES.

[O] "ICEE" or "MERG" - "(WARNING! This name will activate NIGHTMARE MODE! One hit, and it's back to start for you. Resetting will deactivate this mode. Proceed anyway?)"

[O] "SHAYY" - "Nice try, hot shot. There is a ban on Punch cards down here."

(NAMES ARE STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS AND MORE WILL PROBABLY BE ADDED IN THE FUTURE)

~ProctorDorkchop

[romeoeatzkorn]

2024 Intro Post (Part 2: Electric Boogaloo)

Hey dildos!!! I decided I hated the first Intro post I made for 2024 so we're BACK AT IT!!!!

Basic Info

Name: Roxx/Romeo/J.D Age: 16 years old Birthday: Feb|16|2009 Gender: Nonbinary Transmasc, or Two Spirit Sexuality: Butch Lesbian Pronouns: He/they Nationality: Canadian, Quarter Native

DNI and Boundaries

Please Do NOT!

Sexualize my OCs who are younger than 20 years

Make sexual comments/jokes towards any of my personas or me

Use she/her for me

Fetishize any of my OCs in any shape or form

Use my legal name online; please solely use Juno, Roxx, or Romeo for me

Create explicit NSFW of my characters below 24

Ask me before!

Creating AI bots of my OCs and/or AUs

Bringing up sexually suggestive conversation unless I have specified previously that I am comfortable and/or uncomfortable with it, (if you are older than me specifically)

Making sexually suggestive content featuring my OCs

I am absolutely fine with this!

Being tagged in art

Romantic/sexually suggestive comments made towards my (OF AGE) OCs

Being referred to with Masculine and/or Feminine adjectives

DMing

OC x OC content, (as long as it does not diverge too hard from canon, like for example one of my Lesbian characters being shipped with a man)

Do NOT interact;

Pro/comshippers

NSFW/NSFT blogs

Cishets (/lh /hj)

Fascists and Bigots

Wally x Julie shippers (this one is staying cuz fuck you /j)

Hammertooth shippers, SCRAM-A-ROONIE

MEN /j

Magnus Hammersmith /j

Dr. Rockso /j

Zionists

Lesbiphobes/Biphobes/Queerphobes

Thin Ice;

Skwistok shippers (No beef here dood dw)

Non Lesbians

Recovering Proshippers (So proud of you BTW!!! I hope your mental health flourishes and you find a lot of support with your recovery)

Wallaby Antis (haha comfort ship go BRRRRRRR-)

Christians

PLEASE FUCKING INTERACT OMFG PLEAAASEE (/pos);

Butches, Studs, Mascs, ETC.

Rayman lvrs

Murderface fans

Explosiontooth enjoyers

Faggots and Dykes

LESBIANS

Frylock shippers

Please lesbians come here 💔💔

people who think Skwisgaar and Murderface should smooch on the lips (Idr what the ship name is 💔)

Skwisface shippers 💪💪

Magnus Hammersmith haters

Dr. Rockso haters

Neurodivergent people!!!

LGBTQIA+ Folks

Neo pronoun users (Gimmie em!!! /pos)

Little weirdos who live under rocks like bugs

Down with cis bus kinnies /j

Stuffs :3

Fandoms I'm in;

Sonic the Hedgehog (Movies and Games)

KoRn (yes, the band.)

MHA/BNHA (yes I know im a cringe ass piss baby)

Rayman (Legends and Origins)

Metalocalpse

ATHF (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)

R + J 1996 (And just R + J in general)

WH (Welcome Home)

Unicorn Wars

TF2

ASTV/ISTV

SPTO

Stuff I like to do;

Draw

Do drag

Play Guitar (shittily)

Write

Hate the brits (/j)

Random shit about me;

I HATE tomatos

I fucking LOVE when people add little comments in the tags and shit when they reblog- even if it's just a keyboard smash lol

There is a possibility I kin William Murderface- dear god.

I am 5"8"

I have ADHD, and Maybe Autism

Kin list (newest to oldest);

Dr Robotnik/Eggman

Rayman

William Murderface

Pickles the Drummer, in the most CANADIAN way possible- he talks exactly like me (/j)

Barnaby B. Beagle

Wally Darling

Roxie Richter

Fell Sans

Queen Barb

Hobie Brown

Down with cis bus (/j)

Present Mic (MHA)

Eraserhead (MHA)

Mondo Owada (This is an OLD ass kin lol)

[mostly-functional-squip]

Observer I will stick a pointy rod up your ass with the tip heated if that's what it takes to knock sense into you

HHHHAHAHA- Ohhh, goodness...

Look I wanted to piss off Rooni and I got what I wanted, I'll cut the shit now.

...divorced dADSSS HAHAHA-

[agentkaz]

kloktober day 14: use a fall food or drink

MADE IT TWO WEEKS SO FAR. here have some fluffy shit. hot chocolate is a fall drink To Me.

"You think they'd put the animals in little outfits or somethin'," Pickles said, crouching down to look at a baby pig.

"Or cover 'em in fake blood!" Murderface said.

Today Toki had dragged everyone out to the "Super Spooky Halloween Festival-A-Roonie," which had turned out to be a little on the lame side so far. Even Toki seemed a little disappointed when the promised Halloween stuff was a little too toned down, making it seem more generically fall-based than anything else. Lot of pumpkins, leaves, very few piles of fake blood and gore or Draculas. Super spooky it was not.

However, it had a petting zoo, and Toki was currently having the time of his life, so everyone just dealt with it for his sake. At first, they'd all followed Toki into the pen, checking out some of the animals, but one by one they wandered out eventually.

When Toki had finally tired of getting his hands on every animal he could, he left with a big smile on his face. Everyone else stood by the fence, looking bored.

"Finally," Nathan said. "I'm fucking starving. We should grab something to eat."

"I saws the foods places back there," Skwisgaar said, pointing towards a row of booths, and they headed in that direction with little argument.

The refreshment selection was pretty sad as well, with absolutely zero booze, but eventually they all ended up with hot chocolate (with a sugar-free option for Toki) and some disappointing slices of "Halloween pizza" that looked indistinguishable from regular pizza. They sat down at a picnic table with a flimsy orange plastic tablecloth that threatened to fly away in the slightest breeze to wolf down the pizza as they watched people walk by.

"At least they didn't fuck the hot chocolate up," Murderface said when they'd finished the food, taking a drink.

"We should look these things up before we go to 'em next time," Pickles said.

"Or we don'ts listens to Toki," Skwisgaar said.

"Oh, but what about this zombies one next weeks?" Toki asked, peering at his phone that sat on the table while he held his drink with both hands. "Looks like it ams supposeds to be really gross."

"Yeah, okay," Nathan said. Everyone seemed amenable to that as they got up with their drinks, leaving their garbage behind on the table.

[ashenheartx]

Béchamel is a concubus. He's a switch-a-rooni 'cubi.

He's mostly male presenting, but presents female or non-binary every now and then when his mood shifts.

He's usually a buff blue demon man. But sometimes he's red and more of a twunk. Moods, ya know.

He's a favored 'cubi or Ash's and does a lot of his heavy lifting and physical labor that Ash has a hard time with due to his leg. Not too unoften he carries Ash around in arm so the Prince can rest his leg for a while. Or is his attendant in a similar way with wheel chair or being a go-fer when Ash is trying to be stationary for similar reasons.

He gets called on by other higher-demons for manual labor because of this, as well.

Béch is pretty laid back. He's got 'venom' in his saliva that makes his kisses stimulating. He's friendly and is a little bit Djinn coded in that he likes to fulfil guilty fantasies. He does have, obviously, shapeshifting capability and will even take on other's appearances in the endeavor to facilitate people's fantasies. He doesn't cross lines that people don't want, which puts him apart from most 'cubi that will follow consent only to a specific point--or not at all.

Ash, for example, gives no shits if he's got a goal in mind and your consent is in the way (ie Jessica to get Merlin).

Béchamel however, takes a no for a no. And will only press someone who is reluctant until it is clear they won't give into their desires.

He's good with asexual and sex avoidant people because he's not apposed to fulfilling non-sexual comfort fantasies like cuddle buddy and friend primed to play an obscure boardgame for six hours.

He's just one of those demons that's only 'evil' but alignment to Hell, but not really in his actions or motives.

Somehow, Ash is fine with that.

[nicogayngelo]

do you have any thoughts on the glen powell sydney sweeney cheating allegation

i have thoughts on everything

end of day, idk shit. but, gigi is hot and they were together for like several years so rip + lowkey sir you fumbled the bag!!!!!!!!!! i doubt think it's just fully PR but if it is...yiker-roonies. but he was so in love w zoey deutch so maybe he just falls in love w/ all his coworkers lmao

[perfectionts-virgo]

looking out the elevator window seeing the view of   couple's and group of friends walking around, me and my best friends shopping for ourselves on Christmas eve then open our gifts from family and friends plus our secret Santa... our Christmas tradition since freshman year but now it's our senior of college it's been a long journey for being nurse it's going to be worth it..I guess I been space out for a while I felt my best friend Ronnie bumped his right shoulder on my left knocking me back on reality.

"I spaced out again ?" I asked looking at him, making him chuckle nodded.

"Damn, my bad if we was talking y'all ears off" my other best friend Gia joked making us all laugh

"My bad, I been study for finals plus shopping for family" I replied taking a deep breath "I haven't been giving myself time plus I'm single so that mean"

"No Sex" they said in union chucking shaking their heads

We walked out the elevator, making our way to dick sporting goods, making our way to the exercise clothes area.

"You been having a dry spell since" my other bestie Quen said before I cut her off

"Since Issac" I said looking back at a cute white two piece

I been with Issac since freshman year, I thought our relationship was good but I guessed I was wrong last year, seeing his roommate walked out the door (Since it's been a routine) he let me in before he left walking pass his other roommate room still making my way down the hall hearing moans and groans strained and muffled kissing and clapping noises... finally reached to his bedroom hearing the moans and slapping sounds loud and clear opening the door seeing my boyfriend of almost three years having a threesome on the exact same bed I thought we was making love in... I guessed I came on time since they all got there nut, the girls start having their make out session.. I thought I would keep shit player but hell no he been accusing me to be cheating. (Let's just say the girls saw a 6'2 tall male got his ass beat) I broke up with him and never talk to him again but I heard all three been going strong.

"Fuck him, if he wanted a poly relationship or want to breakup he should've open his mouth to communicate" Ronnie said grabbing stuff for himself

"Right, let's see how the little poly relationship last" Gia said rolled her eyes "you should've called me I would've taught them something"

"Y'all Fuck them, let's be blessed that the relationship is over plus you don't have a ring or a baby shower on the way" Quen replied making us nod of approval

" I know, but I hate that feeling that I was right all along" I said walking to the line waiting to pay

"Well I want you to know your the one that got away" ronnie added making me smile

"Oh so y'all went shopping with out me ?" Everybody turned to see our friend and Ronnie crush Greg

"Boy Bye" me, Quen & Gia said in unison

"Whatever" ronnie replied below a whisper

"Wasup Ron Ron" he chuckled have his arm over Ronnie shoulder, I looked at his face seeing his soul left his body behind his smile

We went to couple of stores, Quen went to car, Gia took a Uber, Roonie took a ride with Greg (I'm going to prey for his back) and here goes me driving out the mail parking lot, driving down the freeway seeing my beautiful city I live in with snow started to come down.

30 Minutes Later

I been putting my newly bought clothes up, ate dinner and be cleaning the house turning the fire place, putting on my Christmas playlist from Spotify, took myself a nice hot bubble bath, doing night routine then put on my red & white lingerie, relaxing in my bed that I been missing all day. Too busy watching Home alone and scrolling down my twitter timeline I heard a noise in the living room I felt everything got quiet so I check the time being 3:45 am I got up making my way out the room seeing the living room with my beautiful decorated tree with my gift under, I turned my head seeing a tall figure with a thick figure but musular at the same time but dressed as Santa Claus eating my cookies.

"What the hell, you doing in my house !?" I said with a attitude till I stop when he turned he face me, when I tell y'all he fine a hell

"That's how you talk to Santa ?" He asked with a smirk

"I'm so sorry, but what you expect it's weirdos out here" I said I quickly hiding my revealing outfit

"I understand, but you don't have to cover your self" he said with a chuckle

"It's weird, because your santa" i replied feeling awkward turned around taking a seat on the couch

"I understand, just call me Saint Nick" he said taking his jacket seeing his buff arms with two arms full of tattoos his left side with nice with positive and inspiring tatted then his his right arm with naughty with negative tatted, taking a seat next to me leaning back with his huge arms leaning on on the couch and his huge legs on open, Use Your Imagination

"I got a question" he said turned to face me

"You can asked me anything Saint Nick" I chuckled because I'm still not believing I'm talking to Santa

"Do you have a man ?" He asked looking at me with with full lust

"Let's just said, he cheated on me with two girls" I answered feeling myself getting irritated "their in a relationship now"

"I'm sorry to hear, good girls deserve good things or feels good things" he said sizing me up and down with a low chuckle

"Really?" I said with a low seductive voice, knowing what he wanted

"Really, you know you been a really good girl" he said with a smile

He grabbed my hip pulled me on his lap, wrapped my arms around his shoulder feel his dick jump, under my throbbing clit, feeling him pulled me in a peck then couple more pecks we start kissing then we had a make out session pulling each other in feeling his huge hands slid down to my ass, he start to gripped and rubbing my ass, it's been a minute since I been touched I pulled away to see him taking off his red shirt and our lips connected again feeling a spark.

He pulled my short dress up my waist, help take off my red laced panties, he continued rubbing my ass thing feeling his finger rubbing my fold, then I help take of his spenders then pull down his red slacks revealing his long thick curved dick, harder than a rock. I'm already straddling him, feeling my pussy opened up. Feeling shiver down my back, he was fully inside of me, my hips began to move, he couldn't do anything because I was to busy stroking him, hearing skin slapping and feeling my natural juices running down, he just sitting in shock because he never knew a good girl that take dick like a champ, he couldn't help but to stare at me with disbelief.

He couldn't move his hips from the way I started bouncing, so he had no choice to take it. Feeling my urge to cum creeping up. My ass start to bounced on him, I felt his arm wrapped around my hips feeling his lips kiss my neck grabbing my ass, that courage me to start to ride faster feeling my orgasm reached its peak, I felt him swell, I continued to ride harder, feeling him grabbed my ass giving a final smack felt ton of bricks hit while feeling of his cum inside of me, his arms still wrapped around me...

A Year Later

"Sierra we need to plan a trip to the cabin" Gia said we walking in the Victoria Secret

"I know but there acting weird as usual" I replied looking at the matching sets

"I can't believe Melissa acting like that" Quen added shaking her head

"Y'all caught on to her fake messy ass ?" Ronnie asked pointed at the all pink set i had on my left hand "get the pink one"

"We don't have to go to the cabin" I answered walking towards the cute lingerie area "what about some where better than the cabin because every year it always end up with a brawl"

"Where ? The North Pole" Quen Joked making everybody to start laughing while I chuckled shaking my head til I remembered what happened last Christmas

"I'm giving you this necklace for Christmas because I don't want this to be or last time meeting, I felt that spark when we kissed I know you felt it also... this necklace connects to the North Pole so press the diamond and you will be there like a snap on the finger... Bring your friends I don't mind having a friend trip we need new friends also"

"Well you are the planner outta all of us" Gia said with a smile grabbing a more revealing lingerie set "I'm on stand by"

"Same" Quen & Ronnie said union walking to the line

"I will let yet y'all know" I replied paying for my item "stand by y'all phones and pack"

We walked out the store hugging and saying our byes.. walking to my car driving down the freeway.

Walking in the apartment, starting to pack my bag, I made a group chat who want to come, hearing my door knocking... opening the door to see my little brother "Steven" who visiting from BAU but I guess our brother to busy to tell us our parents went on a cruise for Christmas and new years, so now he going to be with me.

"Brother!!" I said with a huge smile giving him a hug

"Wasup Sisi, thank you" he replied pulling away from the hug "thank you for being home because I will be fucked because I got the old key"

"Don't worry but your going with me and my friends to a trip" I said walking back to my room finishing up, grabbing my pink Gucci bag with a match pink Telfar bag hearing the front door opening hearing "Ronnie, Gia, Quen, Greg " walking in with their bags giving everybody a hug, everyone getting situated till I heard the door being knocked on again making my way to the door opening it seeing my other friends "Denzel & Melanie" well I know Denzel since high school we went to the same college unknowingly and I met Melanie when me and Gia, Quen rushed for Alpha Delta Rays then I let her meet the crew then Melissa crawled herself into it and Denzel & Melanie bumped into each other and everything was history.

"Hey" I said giving each a hug while still confused "I thought y'all already left to the cabin ?"

"Fuck Melissa, and everyone that attended" Melanie said rolled her eyes waving at everyone

"What happened ?" I asked pulled away from Denzel hug

"Her fake ass" melanie said before she was cut off because a knock on the door, Steven opened the door seeing my other couple friend "Trevor & Makayla"

"Hey Y'all" Makayla said waving at everybody with a warm smile

"Wassup fam" Trevor said with a smile

Seeing roonie walking to the kitchen grabbing water bottle, standing next to him opened the bottle.

"Why you being awkward" I said playfully side eye, seeing him rolled his eyes sizing Greg up and down chuckle shaking his head

"Well, that night we left will he spend the night" he replied avoid eye contact with me

"Oooh Bitch" I said with a surprise expression "was it good ?"

"That's the thing it was Amazing " he replied turned to face him "I think I'm falling for him"

"Aww stink" I said giving a hug

"Melissa is a lying ass bitch" Gia said to Quen, Gia, Melanie & Makayla "that bitch told us it's only a couple trip, I should beat her ass"

"What happened?" I asked walking in the living in front of my mirror getting ready for a picture

"That bitch lied to us about the cabin for being a couple trip she didn't want us there" Gia answered fixing her hair rolled her eyes

"I told y'all" Ronnie replied with a stale face standing behind me with Greg close behind

"Fuck her" I said having my bags next to me and having my phone out ready, telling everybody to have their stuff near them telling everybody to take pictures then we the cutest picture then I pressed the diamond then everything turned black....

Then flash happened then we in the middle of snow, looking around we're standing in order of the picture, everybody looked confused.

"We're the fuck are we ?" Makayla asked looking confused

"Let's find a building" I said grabbing my bags starting to walking down the pathway

We're walking down the pathway seeing the sign saying "Welcome to the North Pole" making our way in a nice buildings town in front of the building seeing a lady with red,Green & white looking young but mature.

"Welcome to the North Pole" the lady said with a warm smile turned around opening the door

Walking in the building seeing very modern mansion with Christmas decorations, the lady turned around

"He want to welcome y'all but he's bus" the lady said before she was interrupted

"I'm here, I can welcome them" he said with a smile walking down the stairs walking next to the lady "I need you to finish for me"

"Joseph you don't mind to grab their bags" he said giving him his beautiful smile

"Of course not Santa" he said starting to grabbing bags with little with his elf friends but some are regular size then the elf what I use to see.

"Thank you, you didn't have to do that" I said with a smile trying very hard not to show myself blushing

"You should know it's okay to be treated nicely" he replied with a smile that shows his beautiful white smile

Looking corner of my eye I see everybody looking confused and surprised all at the same time, I used he got the sign but he turned to face them and introduced himself.

"Hello, everybody I am Santa Claus but y'all could call me Saint Nick or Nick if you want too and it's a long story when me and Stella but I'm really having liking of y'all friend so enjoy my beautiful hometown of North Pole and no it's not like the old movies portrayal" he said with a smile still everybody looks more surprised than confused

"I can't believe we're going to spend Christmas and new years with Mr christmas" Gia said with a shock

"Well let the fun begins" he chuckled walking away

"Girl you a Santa fucked ?" Ronnie asked whisper with a smirk

"Well... Yes" I answered turned away walking up the stairs

"Well ho ho ho ho ho" Ronnie replied turned to walking up to Quen & Melanie

30 Minutes later

Putting my bags on the bed, unpacking putting away already folded clothes, hearing the door open turned to face him seeing him smirk at me.

"Well you like our room ?" He asked smirking at me while slowly walking up while looking deep in my eye

"I love the room" I answered with small smile, turning back to unpack again while I feel his arm wrapped around my waist feeling his face on my left side of my neck

Feeling his kiss, opening the cardigan show casing my fitted white bodysuit that hug my curves feeling his huge hands feeling on my waist about to wrap around my waist til I turned around facing him.

"You been a good girl ?" He asked with a smirk making us chuckle

"Yes, I been very good" I answered while paying attention to him closely seeing lust "But Santa you don't look like a good boy"

"I don't know baby" he replied looking at me "there's this thing i love about good girls"

"Then show me" i replied looking up at him pressed my hand against his chest, slipping it down, finally feeling a warm erection in his red sweat pants. Grasped the band of the sweatpant, he smirked down at me lifted his hips and he helped me slide his pants down, my right palm start rubbing against his length. Feeling his getting hardness, he was hard and heavy already glistening "Or there something I could do"

"I don't think you're ready for it" he chuckled with a smirk that made my spine shiver

"Well I think I could go back ho" I replied playfully because I got cut off by his lips smash into mine then move down to my neck, feeling his hands gripping on my ass while nibbling on my neck, I pulled away taking off my bodysuit having nothing but my red Lace Unlined Balconette Bra and panty.

"You're wearing red for me ?" He asked taking me in, licking his lips walking closer

"I have to surprise you" I replied with a smirk wrapping my arm around his neck, giving him a peck, hearing the back of my bra unhooked feeling my breast being free.

His mouth closed around my left nipple, earning a low murmur. He started to sucking then his tongue swirled around it them went back to sucking, his other hand pinching my right nipple. Throwing my head back letting out more loud moans, I start feeling a tingling and flood feeling to my panties.

He switched side, showing the right side the same attention. He pulling me closer feeling his hands going down to my cloth clit, my clenched thick thighs moving them with ease cupped my pussy and then moving his hand in my panty start to rub.

I gasped feeling his hand start to rubbing faster, feeling two fingers slid between my folds, then feel his thumb rubbing on my clit. His lip on my left side of my neck sucking then went back sucking on my nipple tugging and biting gently, (I'm thanking god for making this man) he start circled my throbbing bud, feeling his fingers suddenly plugged inside my wet core, I bucked against him as his fingers started to moving in and out.

I let out a whimper and clung to him, I could feel my juices dripping over his fingers, coating them as he continued to going in and out. He bent them slightly hitting a spot I didn't know existed.

His thumb immediately found my clit, I moaned out feeling him continue circling around my clit, my body shook against him. His pressed his lips into mines pulling away kissed my thigh.

Taking his fingers out, he freed the most beautiful dick I ever saw (better than my exe) he thumb found my clit again. I'm soaked, his eyes found mine.

Feeling his tip running along my slick folds, I groaned as he slipped inside, he hips jerked slowly. Hearing him groan.

He continued to dig deeper, feeling myself chasing my pleasure but he also chasing his. His head looking down at me before moving it on the left shoulder hearing him murmuring. He going deeper, I taking him deeper, and wrapping my arm around his neck feeling my legs starting to tremble seeing my well painted toe curling.

I'm taking him like a champ, I'm taking so much until my body started to squeeze, with euphoria zipped through me, my convulsing walls squeezing and squeezed on his dick, feeling his stroking in and out slowly and deeper, he started to began to go faster feeling my second orgasm build up, he continued stroking me harder and deeper until o felt my body shook uncontrollably, I squeezed my walls until I felt something warm inside me, he spilled his warm cum inside me feeling myself calm down.

"I'm not done with you" he proclaimed with a deviant smile on his face "for you appear on both my lists, Miss Sienna"

"So tonight I have to decide which list are you going to be on" he said gestures for me to assume the position

I got up to turned around to arch my back having my fast ass poking out perfectly but I had a terrific shiver ran down my spine. (How could a nice night turn so quickly?)

"Oh Santa, what do you have planned for me ?" I playfully groveled sounding like a bad porno script

"Quiet !" He boomed all the playfulness went out the window he's not playing or role playing "you lie to me talking about being a good girl but you're been a bad girl too. So I have no choice to give you your punishment. Santa doesn't like his good girls to be bad"

"But I want my bad girls to call me daddy" he grinned pulling me closer to edge of the bed with his right hand

( I know which list I want to be on for now on)

[frienderbender]

i do have this out of context screenshot from yesterday. this was the day before the wedding i think. idk what’s happening but it made me laugh so

[a-libra-writes]

lmaooooo i remember the ramsay ask 💀 what an interesting piece of lore in the libraverse

Im sorry you were subjected to that 😅😅😅

[m0ccaroon]

seeing a real uptick in posts about how sometimes character playlists don't match the characters and im like... ok? literally why do you care?? let people have fun with expressing themselves through their favourite characters and songs. if you dont like the playlist you can make your own. it actually costs you 0 money or effort to not be. a massive jerk wad. yknow?

[forsaking-serenity]

as stupid as people are sometimes they’re also pretty

[aneurizma]

Why the fuck is Falling in reverse on every "emo/scene/screamo" playlist, their music straight up sucks lmao (and does not fit in any of those genres except MAYBE scene)

[mostly-functional-squip]

[Hᴇʟʟᴏ Oʙsᴇʀᴠᴇʀ, I sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀᴄᴛ ᴍʏ Dᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ.]

[Dᴏ ʙᴇʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ. I’ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴍʏ ᴇʏᴇ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ]

[Tʜᴇ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴋɪɴᴅ, ɴᴏᴛ sᴏᴍᴇ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ sᴘʏ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴀᴍ, ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ]

@squipperooni

Rooni!!! Haha, hello there!

Don't worry about Squippy, I have no reason to harm her! So paranoid.

And- spy program. Hahaha. HAHAHA. Think you're hilarious look at me laughing, HAHAHA.

you little SHIT-