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subbyfoxelf · 2 years ago

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2022 in review, part 7: theme park first rides

for my final “year in review” type post, i thought i’d share my favorite theme park attractions that i rode for the first time this year.

1. guardians of the galaxy: cosmic rewind

this didn’t pop my “first rollercoaster in probably a decade” cherry, but it was pretty easily the best new thing i’ve ridden all year. i would ride this thing several times in a row if i could. first of all it’s a launchcoaster, which turns out to be a much better experience for me given that i for some reason have gotten super wimpy about rollercoaster drops in my 30s.

idk. i was always a pretty big wuss about them as a kid but i found it easily to overcome it usually? i think i was probably traumatized by american eagle at six flags great america being my first big kid coaster. that thing is no joke.

anyway, this has everything i love about rollercoasters that makes them exhilarating but none of the things that trigger my phobias? and on top of that, it has loud rock & roll music (our track was blondie’s “one way or another”) and some kickass visuals. this honestly kind of blew me away.

2. star wars: rise of the resistance

look, i’ve cooled off on star wars in the past few years considerably to the point that it isn’t even really something i’d say i like anymore? but it was a huge deal to me for a very long time so i’m super familiar with the universe and everything (plus like, this is a theme park attraction at the busiest theme park in the world, they’re not exactly gonna expect you to know the deep lore). but yeah, i’m the kind of dumbass that saw a few cast members walking around star wars land in stormtrooper costumes and begged my partner to snap a few pictures of me looking like i was surrendering to them, because that is probably the subbiest thing you can get away with at a theme park? lmao.

anyway, without spoiling it for anyone who hasn’t ridden, with that last thing in mind this ride was extremely up my alley. it’s hard to even really compare it to another ride? because fully like 50% of it is just walking around these big, huge awesome sets and feeling like you’re actually in the world, and all of that happens before you even get to the ride vehicle. and the parts on the ride vehicle kick ass, too, but yeah there’s… Stuff that happens before that that really, really appeals to me.

3. mickey & minnie’s runaway railway

i’m a rollercoaster wimp, so obviously i fucking love dark rides. which means that disney & universal parks are by far the parks that have the most actual stuff for me to enjoy? anyway, yeah, my expectations for this ride were not nearly high enough. this does such a great job of actually making you feel like you’re in a cartoon. i was genuinely blown away.

4. rock’n roller coaster starring aerosmith

like obviously i give zero shits about the theming on this one, but it’s the first rollercoaster i’d rode in years so that’s obviously gonna stick with me. i really wish launch coasters were more common because this kicked ass, and it’s so nice to be able to experience all the things i love about rollercoasters without having to experience the anxiety of those stupid drops.

5. volcano bay

rather than listing all the attractions separately, i’ll just say that we had a great time at volcano bay. i do think the whole park is rife with textbook-worthy examples of cultural appropriation, but in terms of “this was a fun waterpark,” it definitely nailed it.

#theme parks #2022 in review #year in review #guardians of the galaxy #cosmic rewind #star wars #rise of the resistance #mickey mouse #minnie mouse #runaway railway #rock'n rollercoaster #volcano bay #disney #walt disney world #universal

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