#rip in fuckin g piec e s

[sofhyuck]

Greasy Baby

Genre: fluff, greaser!hyuck

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N this au stems from some enlightening conversations with @cinanamon who is graciously allowing me to use some of her ideas, this one’s for you bb ;))))

greaser!hyuck is...a lil shit to say the least

like ye he’s a handsome boi i mean,,,imagine him in a leather jacket,,,hair gelled back,,,yes pls

but he knows him and his group of bois (dreamies hello) are hot shit and he’s not afraid to show that he knows it

him and the dreamies are always seen cruising around town,,, harassing hollerin at the ladies from the inside of hyuck’s beat up mustang (is that a time period correct car??? idk and idc to look it up lol)

he never actually physically harasses anyone, it’s all fun and games (for them at least don’t accept cat calling kids men ain’t shit)

there’s just...nothing else really for them to do around town

the only forms of entertainment come from the drive in theater and the soda shop that all the kids hang out at after school

he attends his local university since him and the gang come from a small town and didn’t really care to leave or have the grades to go to a better school

and you...well you don’t really know why you decided to attend a university in such a dinky little town

maybe it’s because you wanted a change of pace from the city, and maybe it’s because it’s your mother’s alma mater and you spent a few of your summers there

but somehow you find yourself at the school

the only problem is,,,everyone who attends the school grew up in the dumb town,,,meaning everyone already knows each other and has their friend groups and cliques

leaving you to fend for yourself and kind of live as an outsider

sure you make acquaintances in your classes but,,,it’s hard for you to make solid friends when everyone else already knows everything about everyone else 

so you’ve been living your life on campus, smiling at the acquaintances you’ve made when you pass by them on the street, but you never really hang out with anyone after school

your sophomore year you got a job at the soda shop bc college ain’t cheap and they were hiring

surprisingly enough you made close friends through the job, your coworkers went to the same uni as you and the clientele were also in some of your classes

so you began to actually go out more (when you weren’t working obvi)

on day you were on campus walking to your next class and you saw one of said new friends

but while you were distracted with waving to them you bumped into someone and woop guess who????

you guessed it our boy hyuck with the rest of 00 line walking past

he was bouta pop off but then he sees it’s you the cute lil waitress from the soda shop that he’s lowkey seen around and been crushing on for a few months now

so when he sees you stuttering out an apology bc boi is brighter than the damn son and took your breath away

he just smirks and lets out a lil chuckle and just says ‘don’t worry about it sweetcheeks’ with a wink and then he’s off

you stand there for a moment in shock bc like obvi you know who he is even if you’ve only been around a few years who tf doesn’t know hyuck and co

and ofc your friends all saw and were like...b don’t even worry about it he just be like that sometimes ya know

and you’re like yea u right and forget about the whole encounter

but guess who doesn’t ohohoho it’s mister lee donghyuck himself he be thinking about it the rest of the day bc wow you’re even prettier up close huh

and the rest of dream are like...mmhmm ok mr. lee not sus at all we’re on. to. you.

so guess where hyuck ever so casually zooms off to after his classes are over????

oh boy you guessed it right off to the soda shop but oomph poor bb you’re not actually working that day and bb is sad :(((( meanwhile his boys are just laughing at him bc omg hyuck is so w hi p pe d

so now bb is going to the shop every moment he can until!!! finally!!! you’re working again god bless!!!

as soon as he sees you’re working baby sits bolt up right and starts fixing his slicked back hair that he had totally not been running his hands through out of nerves

the other boys weren’t there bc??? they have better places to be than at the soda shop for the 50000 time that day even though chenle and jisung had been there earlier just to laugh at him

but now holy shit you’re coming over and you look so cute in the dumb poodle skirt they make you wear as a uniform with your hair placed in a high ponytail

meanwhile you’re sw e a t i n g bc shit it’s hyuck and he’s still a handsome ass boy and you have to serve his table n ow f u c k

so you sidle on over and give him your usual spiel asking what he’d like to order n shit

and this boy omf remember when i said he was annoying?

well yea he fucking goes ‘are you on the menu bc I’d certainly like to have a piece of you’

and you’re like...boy tf oh my god i want to SLAP him 

but you grin through it like ha ha...funny ok...our specials for today are...

hyuck ain’t listening anymore bc he’s busy mentally kicking himself bc??? really hyuck??? you’re trying to make her like you wtf were you t h in k i ng

so he just points at some random thing on the menu, his head hanging in shame

and yea you’d think it was cute if he hadn’t just gotten on your damn nerves

but, alas, you have to continue serving the boy who had ordered literally just a fried egg but you know who were you to judge

he eats the egg rather quickly and then just...sits there...not doing anything...and you don’t know what to do like you can’t kick him out he did order something and it’s not particularly busy

meanwhile hyuck’s head is spinning trying to think of how to woo you after completely embarrassing himself earlier

after like an hour passes you head over to him, ready to ask him again if he wants anything else to eat 

but as soon as you get to him he jolts upright scaring the shit out of you and he’s like fuck sorry i didn’t mean to scare you 

and you’re like it’s fine now seriously do you want anything else-

but he cuts you off and suddenly...lee donghyuck?? is grabbing onto your hand??? and rapidly apologizing to you for being so Gross earlier

you gotta shake the boy off of you and honestly,,,he’s really endearing like aw he’s so embarrassed what a bb

when you get out of his grip you’re like bro it’s ok tbh i get much worse all the time

suddenlt hyuck is ready to f i g ht like who tf??? i will square up 

in your head you’re like,,,bitch ik you catcall don’t even try...but in reality you’re like mmmhmm sure ok you couldn’t hurt a damn fly

hyuck is angery now like wdym im tough >:( don’t you see my leather jacket and cool hair and car???

and you,,,oh you little reader pat lee donghyuck’s fUCkiNg head and now he is blushing oooooh

in a smol voice he asks for his check and leaves you a v generous tip despite your protests

and by that time his confidence seems to come back bc he winks and tells you he’ll be back

you giggle and give him a lil wave bc...wow lee donghyuck is just a cute shy lil bb hehe

and now hyuck is coming in every day,,,sometimes with his boys,,,sometimes alone but no matter what he’s always sure to, in a respectful manner, flirt with you and chat you up while dream just look on in amusement bc, again, hyuck is wh i p p e d

y’all just kinda...live like that for a few weeks but it’s v clear to e v er y body that there is shit going down between the two of you

like at this point hyuck’s hanging around campus with you too so like,,,everyone and their mother knows at this point bc,,,like i said earlier,,,everyone in this damn town knows everything about everyone

so ya’ll are stagnant, hyuck flirting, you laughing and sometimes flirting back

until one day ohhh boy there’s a new boul in town and he is not ashamed at all

and by that i mean he’s the biggest fucking asshole to ever step foot in the town, thinking he’s hot shit and everybody wants him when everyone hates his g u t s

and this boy has been hanging around the shop, livin his life, waiting for his moment to strike

but uh oh he made a mistake bc the first person he attempts to come on to...is you

and hyuck has been there bc he knows this guy has been hanging around and he wants to keep an eye on you his girl

it was a good thing too bc... this boul is going all out

tugging lightly at your skirt when you come to take his order while he uses the same cringy line hyuck used on you that first day

and hyuck knows you’re a big girl who can handle herself which you make very clear by firmly rejecting him with a smile plastered across your face

but...boy does not and will not let up

and you’re getting more and more frustrated and hyuck can tell esp when you keep throwing exasperated looks in his direction w the occasional eye roll

he would laugh but he’s too busy trying not to flip his shit

until boy fuckin just goes to grab your ass and you immediately move back, ready to reprimand him

but all thoughts are brushed aside when a loud crash sounds followed by heavy footsteps

hyucky had stood up so harshly that his chair had fallen over but he hadn’t even bothered to fix it bc he immediately stormed over to you, loosely wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his side 

he is m a d like you thought he couldn’t fight before but now he looks like he could rip a guys head off and you lowkey find it hot but that’s not what’s important right now

the guy is like oh woops sorry bro didn’t know she was taken but hyuck is not having it going off about how you shouldn’t treat anyone like that period no matter if they’re in a relationship or not

and yes hyuck and his friends had been the same way a few months before but meeting you changed his way of thinking and his friends as well

bc the idiots had never had any female acquaintances before but now they have you and you’re like a sister to them except for hyuck obvi bc he’s in looove

anyway back to the matter at hand i swear i keep going on tangents soz

you have to calm hyuck down before he actually punches this guy in the nose and the guy throws some money on the table before booking it out of there bc he’s high key scared rn lol puddy

your boss comes out and is like...y’all good? and you’re like uhhh yea mind if i talk to him for a minute? n he’s like ya sure whatever

so you pull hyuck over to a back room and you’re like,,,bro,,,wtf you good now??

but hyuck is on a roll now and just flat out says ‘i’ve liked you for a while now so will you do me the honor of being my gf?’

you ??? for a second before snapping himself out of it and you’re like ??? hell yea boi tf???

so now y’all are dating woo!!!

he makes sure to come to the shop whenever you’re working

at first he even would miss classes but you were not gonna have that oh no education comes first kids >:(((

and he was like ugh ok fine but he always managed to get other dreamies to be there when he couldn’t just so he knows you’re ok :(((

you get really close with the other dreamies tho so now you’re all one happy family

even when hyuck isn’t at your shift he makes sure to pick you up afterwards

waiting outside, leaning against his beat up mustang …leather jacket on…waiting for you to come out…and when you walk up to him he grabs you by the waist…pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead…before opening the door for you…driving off to who knows where…but neither of you care as long as you’re together…

sometimes you go to the drive in and cuddle up in the backseat making out for the duration of the movie hehe

you climb onto his lap and sometimes you can hear the people in the next car wooping and hyuck just gives them the finger before bringing his hand back to settle on the back of your thigh

ahem anyways enough of that

other times you just,,, drive around,,, windows down,,, blasting music and laughing,,, just living your life as two college students should hyuck’s hand resting on your thigh shhhh

you always stop at the same dingy diner that’s hidden away on some side road

(shout out to steph for this next part love you bb uwu)

and hyuck always rummages through his pockets  for change to buy you a drink, even when you say he doesn’t have to and you know he doesn’t always have the most money he says he wants to

trips to the diner are always followed by sunset drives where you have to remind him to watch the road bc  he finds it so much fun to smiles t you and try to kiss you while driving and you scold him that he’s going to die one day, him saying it’s better to live hard, die young

[bezgoesboo]

––  m i c   t a p !    “ an’... ohp !  we’re live ! ”    

               r u s t l e   r u s t l e . . .   

“ well, if you’re listenin’, welcome to another episode of witchin’ hour, in which i’ll do a real valiant job of wastin’ your precious time. 

                             we got the tunes, we got the loons, and the night’s fresher                              than a pack of fuckin’ mini mart twinkies. yep. i’m bez.                                                              whaddya say we get jinkie with it ? ”

or, alternatively:  my name is linc, this is bez holmes, and i hope you brought your schnazziest seatbelts ‘cause, oh bud... you’re in for quite the trip.

( timothee chalamet, ghost, he/him & cismale ) is that ( another one bites the dust ) by ( queen ) playing? guess ( killian beelzebub holmes)’s comin’ in hot! heard folks say the ( twenty three ) year old ( local radio host ) was at the thanksgiving fair, ( throwin’ darts at the balloon wall with his buds ) when chaos ensued. during the glitch, ( he was killed by one of his best supernatural pals he was tryin’ to talk down while everyone else was bookin’ it to the woods, but ain’t the faintest clue he’s dead… yikes ).

b a c k g r o u n d    .  .  .

the autumn of 1959 brought the youngest holmes sibling into existence and knocked out their mother in one fell swoop. killian beelzebub holmes was born to mr. holmes and his late wife at precisely 3:33am just before an uncharacteristically frosty dusk.

mrs. holmes chose the name killian long before her second-born ever killed her, so... heh !  joke’s on her !  bez’s pops didn’t have the heart to call him *cough* er, killian, so the family settled for the next best thing so they could still honor his mother’s wishes: beelzebub. except... well. that still was a lil problematic, given the timing of his birth. and callin’ beelzebub on class attendance? not exactly the best look. hence, the nickname bez was born, and he’s been goin’ by it ever since.

bez has an older sister lee and the two are as thick as thieves. growin’ up, they always kept their father on his toes –– wherever the holmes kids go, trouble follows.

mr. holmes served as county sheriff until he was killed by his second wife when bez was 13 and lee was 14. lee went back to art school after the local police department covered up the bear out as a fuckin’ armed robbery gone wrong. lee ‘n bez were sworn to secrecy, but nothin’, not even authoritative men in police badges, can erase the image of stepmonster slashin’ dad to bits and lettin’ him fall face first into a plate of spaghetti.

bez never liked stepmonster to begin with, but killin’ their dad was the kicker. lee returned to art school and bez struggled to keep the peace in the household. the bitch stepped up the loving stepma act until a year later, when she wigged out again ‘n landed him in the hospital for a couple days. after that, lee returned home, ‘n it was officially holmes vs. mama bear.

movin’ out was the dream, but unfortunately, mr. holmes overextended when he bought this nice shiny new house for his new wife ‘n kids; most of his insurance money went to getting the house out from underwater, ‘n the rest went to funeral expenses. so... the kids were kinda stuck with her. still are.

bez never let himself be stupid enough to dream ‘bout leavin’ letum falls. he likes it here. he’s got his people. throughout school, he romped ‘round with the cool kids. hung out with all the supernaturals. in fact, you’d be hard pressed to find bez holmes chillin’ ‘round anyone who’s actually human. contrary to his sister, his father’s death didn’t turn him off from supernaturals –– if anythin’, it made him desperate to prove to himself just what a wildcard stepmonster was.

after high school graduation, bez pestered his way into workin’ at the local radio station. what started as a simple soundboarding gig morphed into hostin’ his very own show, the witchin’ hour, on which he talks about letum falls’ spooky happenings and engages with live callers. he’s got a sleep with me bit –– callers name celebrities, fictional characters, or even existing locals bez has to seduce via song and cheesy pickup lines. basically, the whole show’s a hangout with bez –– more often ‘n not, he’s high as a bird. so the witchin’ hour’s got itself a steady cult of listeners. bez loves every second of it.

he’s got a reputation for bein’ sexually ambiguous. he was outcasted pretty young as bein’ a lil... off? never into sports. liked to paint his nails colors sometimes. borrow lee’s shirts. his dad never raised issue with it, but stepmonster definitely had her reservations. still does. bez holmes is a kid some fathers told their sons to steer clear of. for fear of, bez’ll laugh as he tells ya, spreadin’ it around.

labels are for chumps, he’ll tell ya, mid-cigarette drag. size y’up real good. odds are, if you’re attractive ‘n mysterious in some way, he’ll fuck ya. ( not countin’  six months of abstinence in 1980 when he was convinced everyone he fucked wound up dyin’ two weeks later... there were a string of incidental deaths. but honestly, sometimes ?  he thinks ‘bout it. )

fuckin’ klutz. yeah, he skateboards. yeah, he looks cool doin’ it. yeah, he’ll even wear his shades while he’s doin’ it at night. but surprise him? make him laugh? he’ll trip over his own two feet.

addicted to cinnamon waffles, enough syrup to drown atlantis a second time. he always haunts the local diner. when he’s not there, he’s likely playin’ pinball or skeeball at the local arcade, or slurpin’ down a rootbeer float and annoyin’ the living shit outta earl at the mini mart.

if it’s illegal? sign him up.

he owns a shit ton of thrifted clothes. lots of chunky jackets, v-necks, rings, necklaces. funky pants. he’s recognized around town by his crazy curls. they’re never tame. he’s always lookin’ artfully disheveled. smirkin’. stealin’ looks.

t h e    f a i r     .  .  .

bez was hangin’ out with his supernatural buds ( wanted connections )when all hell broke loose. he was actually makin’ a fool of himself with balloon darts, but he made a ten buck bet he could win a stupid hat.

while everyone else ran, bez tried to talk down one particular friend ( wanted connection ) who was tryna keep themselves from attackin’ him. he got so far as to get ‘em calm, place a hand on their shoulder. lean in to look ‘em in the eye real close. 

“ hey man, hey now. listen. y’don’t gotta do this. killin’ ain’t punk, ‘kay? y’hate blood, hear me? i believe in you, ‘n even though you serve killer looks –– you’re not a killer. ”

even in the face of death, this kid fuckin’ joked around, and... basically this friend slashes his throat and ripped his heart out right after bez managed a hopeful smile. talk ‘bout a magical fuckin’ friendship.

lee and dean hollis took bez’s body with them when they fled the scene.

bez woke up a few days later in the woods near the fairgrounds. he wandered ‘n wandered, almost in a sleep-like trance, ‘til he reached dean’s house. walked in, blinked right at the guy. they exchanged words, albeit bitter ones, before bez left and walked on over to the radio station. did his show like normal, like he’d never even died. no memory of the glitch. no nothin’. 

heads on over to earl’s mini mart like usual. but earl won’t check him out. earl isn’t hearin’ him. so he fuckin’ leaves with a bag of doritos and a big bottle of mountain dew. runs into his boyfriend, xander chapell. all’s fine ‘n well. he’s overjoyed to see the other male. everythin’s normal.

the next mornin’, he slinks home. finds lee cryin’ in her room. pieces it together and thinks it must be dean hollis. must be ‘cause of that asshole.

c u r r e n t l y    .  .  .

ain’t nobody got the heart to tell this poor kid he died. he’s dead. and since he doesn’t know he’s a ghost ?  he thinks wakin’ up near hose weird ass woods, near the fairgrounds ? it’s all a dream. he thinks the worsened insomnia ? ah. that’s just the weather. ‘n when his hand sometimes goes through things ? when people sometimes don’t see him ? some witch is probably havin’ trouble controllin’ their abilities.

stepmomma has a hunch bez’s spirit might be hauntin’ the house. she keeps tryna sage it. tryna figure out what’s gonna help get her stepson to the beyond. ‘cept bez doesn’t know this, and lee’s playin’ damage control.

he’s still so hopelessly in love with xander, but neither of these two goons have actually shared that with one another. it’s all in the looks. the touches. and now... there’s an added bonus that bez is dead –– technically a goner, unless he never resolves whatever’s keepin’ him here. which, y’know. he won’t. ‘cause he’s got no clue.

can he please get a waffle ?  now some of the waitstaff won’t serve him at the diner ! the fuckin’ nerve !  it’s really okay because he’s got duffy ‘n georgia there to help him out. but damn. no one’s ever been this cold ‘cause of his off-color humor before. what’d he do ?  lord knows.

weird shit’s happenin’. people in town are actin’ strange. something’s up. but then again, somethin’ always is. so bez doesn’t mind it. keeps on hummin’ his stupid tunes. carries on with his show. the radio station producers are scared shitless ‘cause like... this dead kid keeps goin’ on the air. what kinda cruel joke is this, huh ?

c u r r e n t     c o n n e c t i o n s  .  .  .

older sister – lee holmes.  the holmes kids are revered and feared. always up to somethin’... tragic, what happened to ‘em, but lordie. that dead sheriff raised some weird kids.

low key love of his life – xander chapelle.  they started dating a few months ago and bez... never... expected... this. he ain’t the feelings type, no sir. but xander lights somethin’ in him. somethin’ new. yeesh. now you’ve got him all fluttery.

chaos crew – maya shen.  partners in crime, in an endless pacman and pinball war. they’ll beat one another’s scores back ‘n forth and back ‘n forth, never ending. bez is fascinated by maya’s family line ‘n all. she’s great to have ‘round, too, when he’s got a hankering for a cig but needs a decent light.

row, row, row your boat the fuck away from me – dean hollis.  dude was pretty cool, ‘til y’know... he fuckin’ dumped his feelin’s on lee and skipped town. yeah, football. yeah, nfl. cool beans, huh? what’d he have to go and fuck with his sister’s heart for? and now that he’s back and lee’s actin’ weird... bez knows he’s the cause of it for sure. and he doesn’t like it one bit.

grew up together – georgia duchannes.  bez, lee, ‘n georgia all grew up peas in a pod. mr. duchannes took over the role as sheriff because he sniffed somethin’ fishy goin’ on in the department and wanted to protect bez ‘n lee. bez gets a real kick outta georgia, ‘n folks even thought he had a crush on her back in the day. which is hilarious. ‘cause everyone ‘n their mother always knew georgia’d end up with vanetten.

the case he’s gonna crack – teejay vanetten.  bez always liked vanetten, thought he was a chill guy, y’know? a lil’ vanilla, but hey. not everyone can be as ace as him. the dude’s always been a lil’ defensive around bez though, ‘cause of georgia. bez thinks it’s funny. plays into it sometimes, just to get a rise outta him. after the glitch, it becomes clear teejay’s goin’ through something not human, so bez is tryna get lee on board to help this guy figure out his shit.

w a n t e d    c o n n e c t i o n s    .

the best supernatural friend who killed him.  bonus points if things get, like. real fuckin’ angsty.

past hookups.  bez has gotten around. guys, gals, non-binary pals. sex is sex.

supernatural kool krew.  this squad has a runs with wolves kinda vibe. bez might be the glue that holds it together. keepin’ up with supernaturals as a human, though? fuckin’ full time job.

avid radio listeners / callers.   i... would love for some routine callers? maybe some peeps he knows from around town who he has ongoin’ banter with on the air?

goofy gays.  all the gay vibes, just... we need a power gay squad mmkay?

enemies.  i’m sure bez is on a lot of people’s shit lists. he speaks his mind. he goes outta his way to be a nuisance. but he’d just find this whole thing abso-fuckin-lutely hilarious.

music jam peeps.  music is a huge part of bez’s everyday life. he listens to bands more than he listens to people. ‘n he dabbles in some musical shit himself. piano, some songwritin’ here ‘n there. nothin’ too major, but it’d be cool to have some pals who also feel as connected to music as him. he does, after all, run a radio show.

post-glitch connections.   dude roams ‘round letum falls a lot now. he did before, too, but maybe there are some people who knew of him but didn’t know him before who’re now startin’ to talk with him? ‘cause they can see he’s a ghost, ‘n they feel bad? i dunno. at this point, bez is startin’ to yammer on ‘n on to whoever’s gonna listen. maybe they just see one another in odd ass places. like earl’s mini mart. or the arcade. or maybe this person’s willin’ to speak to someone for him when they’re doin’ that stupid ass ignorin’ game again.

[alltimewhat]

ABCs of Death

Fun fact: I cried writing this one and it’s literally not even for the reason you’d expect

C contains: BLOOD, GORE, BODY HORROR, and DEATH

CHARACTER(S) THAT DIE IN THIS FIC: dustin

A/B/C/D/E/F/G

C is for Cat

“Where did the Hub say the malfunction was, again?” Dustin’s voice crackled to life through the Hub’s speakers. 

Lucas moved to the screens at the front of the Hub, the massive space station they were all living on until they reached X2504, the alien planet they were supposed to be studying. There were cameras littered all throughout the station’s halls and rooms, a precaution in case the crew came into contact with something dangerous. There was a wide screen above the ones that displayed the camera’s views, with its own series of images. Currently, the ship’s malfunction warning was blaring through the dark, enclosed room. Lucas frowned, flipping a few switches before pressing the illuminated white ‘COMM’ button in the center of the control panel.

“Looks like the atmospheric intake regulator. Possibly built up pressure, just try stirring the tanks and see if the warning clears.” He said into the mic. He was able to watch Dustin as the other scientist made his way down the hallway. He was wearing light protective gear, just enough to avoid the heat of the maintenance hall and the equipment keeping the space station running; its vital organs. He saw Dustin give a thumbs up to one of the cameras on the way down- his toolbox took two hands to carry and he would have to set it down to use his comm. 

Behind Lucas, Will limped into the room, his left leg swaddled in tight bandages and his hair mussed from sleep.

“What’s he doing?” He mumbled, his voice thick and deep in his chest.

“We’ve got a problem in the atmos regulators. He’s gonna try stirring them to see if that helps. How’s the leg?” Lucas spun his chair around as Will wandered around the Hub’s main room. He yawned widely before humming deeply.

“Same as yesterday. You seen anymore of those things wandering around?” He asked, dropping into the chair next to Lucas’, a hot cup of tea clutched in his hands. He could feel the warmth passing from his fingertips up to his chest. Lucas shook his head.

A soft meow from the ground caught Will’s attention, and he turned to see the crew cat, Jones, curled up underneath the console. The cat stretched, hopping up into Will’s lap and rubbing his head against Will’s chest. Will set his teacup down, rubbing his fingers in circles behind Jones’ ears as the fat orange cat purred in his lap.

“Nah, I think they were only in that one cave.” Lucas said. His eyes wandered to Will’s bandaged leg. Memories flashed through his mind of the creature that had done that to him (it had turned into him it had turned into Will and it had still been eating him oh god), he knew what the injury underneath those bandages looked like, too. The muscle had been ripped off of a portion of his calf, revealing the bone underneath. They all knew he’d never walk properly again. Lucas had nightmares about that thing, mingling with memories of holding Will’s head and singing an old lullaby to him while Mike bandaged his leg because he was in so much pain and he was so close to bleeding out when they’d found him. 

Turning back to the array of screens in the darkened control room, Lucas allowed his attention to wander while Dustin worked on getting to the regulators and trying to fix them.

“What did it look like for you?”

The question was out of his mouth before he could stop it and he winced, spinning slightly to look at Will’s face. It was pallid, his eyes turned downward to watch Jones as the cat kneaded at his legs. Lucas felt a tight ball of regret form in his stomach.

“I’m sorry- you don’t have to answ-”

“It looked like Jones.”

Will’s voice was tight and clipped and Lucas understood. Jones was Will’s cat, Will was the one who had brought him on their ship in the first place, and Jones was his baby. He also knew that the alien had to touch something to become it (it was Will when he shot it, he was covered in blood and he looked so scared but they knew it wasn’t him and he had to shoot it). Will had kept Jones practically locked in his room at first, worried the alien would come for him again, but it never did. Lucas knew there was more to it than that, but he’d never asked. It seemed like something that should be left alone. 

There was a whoosh of air, and the malfunction alarm stopped abruptly, suddenly making the Hub feel even quieter. 

“Did that work? I don’t hear anything else down here.” Dustin’s voice crackled through the speakers, and Lucas turned back to the screens. 

“Mal-alarm turned off, so probably.” Lucas said. He watched the screens, waiting for Dustin to appear in the basement hallway camera. It took him a moment, as he was struggling with the toolbox in his arms, but he appeared, trudging down the long hallway. There was a strip down one specific hallway that had lost its cameras during travel through an asteroid belt, and had yet to fix it.

Dustin disappeared from the ship’s sight, and Lucas leaned back in his chair, watching the various blips and beeps from the computer systems surrounding them. Everything was sharp and angular, and there seemed to be hundreds of buttons and switches and levers over pretty much every surface. Apparently, most of them didn’t do anything, but none of Lucas’ crew was allowed to try it, so they couldn’t be for sure.

A moment passed in silence before the speakers crackled again.

“Hey, did someone let Jones down here? He’s in this hallway. Looks scared out of his mind.” Dustin’s words hung in the air for a moment. Lucas turned to Will. The smaller scientist’s face was pale, and Lucas could feel the chill that was coming from him. He surged forwards, smashing the COMM button with more force than necessary.

“Do not touch that cat, Dustin. I repeat, do not touch the cat.”

Before Lucas could even try responding, Will had pushed away from the control panel and was rooting through their supplies, scattered on the back counter. 

“Will, what the hell are you-”

“It’s that fuckin’ alien again!” Will hissed. He turned, and Lucas could see the handgun he was struggling to load, the anxiety coursing through him enough to make his hands shake. 

“How can you be sure? Who knows how many of them are out here, it could be a different one!”

“I would never let one of those things touch Jones twice.” Will spat, his eyes dark. Before Lucas could try persuading him to stay, the shorter man was gone, whipping through the hall door and out into the ship.

  Lucas watched him leave through the cameras, stalking down the hallway with the gun at his side ominously. Putting his head in his hands, he waited for someone to speak.

Will rushed down the hallway faster than he thought he could move, feeling like every one of his nerves was on fire. He knew where the hallway was, knew where the alien was. 

It didn’t take him long to reach his destination, but he hid behind the wall before entering, bracing himself to fight the monster again. 

“Dustin? Are you still in there?” He shouted over the hiss of machinery. There was a muffled noise, a high yelp that sent waves of fire down WIll’s spine. Hissing, he turned the corner, holding the gun out in front of him, ready to fight if need be.

The fake Jones was in the center of the room, curled on Dustin’s chest. The scientist himself seemed frozen in time, wide, terrified eyes meeting with Will’s. 

“Don’t. Move.” Will hissed, creeping closer to the alien on his friend’s chest. The cat stared at him, green eyes watching every move he made. 

Once he got within ten feet from both man and cat, Will crouched low to the ground, not wanting to accidentally shoot Dustin. The alien hissed, cat-claws shooting out and digging into Dustin’s chest.

The scientist gasped as the fake cat’s claws tore through his uniform, and that was enough.

Not-Jones yowled, whipping around and sinking his teeth into Dustin’s neck, his body already beginning to change. His fur was darkening, the stripes in his fur melting together until the cat had become an amorphous blob, completely covering Dustin’s body.

Shrieking, Will fired. He managed to get three shots into the creature’s back before it turned on him, hundreds of teeth flashing in a pitch-black mouth. He shot again, just trying to keep the alien’s attention off of Dustin. The creature squealed at him, but didn’t move. Both waited in a tense silence like a stand-off, waiting for the other to attack first.

After a few moments, the creature returned to the scientist in its shifting claws, sinking its teeth into him again.

Will fired as many rounds as he could into the side of where he guessed the alien’s head was, sending it reeling with a high shriek. It slithered backwards, reddish-black blood dripping from its body as it tried to scurry away. It collapsed in a shivering ball, low whimpers emanating from it every few moments.

Will took that moment to turn his attention back to Dustin. Moving as quickly as he could, he scrambled over to his friend, wincing as he tried to avoid looking at the damage the alien had done to him. 

There were massive pieces of flesh missing from his face and his neck, and it seemed to have been trying to eat his shoulders as well before Will had driven it off, small chunks of skin and tissue missing here and there. Blood was seeping from those wounds, and Will knew Dustin wouldn’t make it. Shivering, he reached for his comm, pressing the button with a shaking hand.

“Lucas, put it on the log that mission 234-8xo had one casualty, Dustin Henderson, at 8:32 AM, the morning-” A sob suddenly broke out of him, but he forced it down. “The m-morning of oc-october 23rd, t-two thousand fifty three.” He said. Underneath him, Dustin made a soft whimpering sound, garbled and pained. Will began to cry, but he kept his voice even as he began to sing softly, supporting Dustin’s head and running his fingers gently through Dustin’s hair.

“You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine,

You make me happy,

When skies are gray.

You’ll never know, dear

How much i love you,

Please don’t take

My sunshine away.”

[fosterskeeper]

(( Flashback! If you're still accepting, cause they're so good omg ))

          Send “Flashback” to have your muse see one of my muse’s bad memories

          ❝ Dee found this while she was washin’ clothes… Wanna tell me where you got this ? ❞ He’s HOLDING UP a fainted, WATERED LOGGED piece of paper for FOSTER’S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS. She lets her gaze fall to the floor a lump forming in her throat. Shit. Shit. Shit ! She’s so SCREWED ! No, no, play it cool, Francis. She shrugged. 

          ❝ So ? It’s just something my stupid teacher gave me- all the kids got one. ❞ Frankie’s LYING. She was the only one. She wasn’t going to tell him she had been going there for a few weeks now, it would only get her in more TROUBLE. But it’s too late he ALREADY knows. Francis is in her face the MOMENT those words fall from her lips the paper lay FORGOTTEN on the table. She hears his KNUCKLES crack.

          ❝ Don’t lie to me. ❞ 

          ❝ I’m not. ❞ 

          Frankie had NEVER seen him this ANGRY, if she hadn’t been SCARED of him then she sure was now, the redhead opened her mouth to SPEAK but he’s already RAISING his fist && SMASHED his knuckles into Frankie’s face, this seemed to be his FAVOURITE method of PUNISHMENT the force caused Frankie to STUMBLE BACK && laid on her butt, pale hands clenched her face in pain. Yup, it’s definitely BROKEN this time. ❝ Nnn- Stop fuckin’ punchin’ me and just slap me like a normal parent ! ❞ At this rate, she was going to lose her FRONT TEETH again… Something Frankie knew her dad couldn’t AFFORD to get f i x e d for the second time. Francis is HOVERING OVER her a scowl across his lips. 

          ❝ I don’t want you around those- those things or that crazy old coot. ❞ Grabbing her by the hair && yanking her up onto her knees. ❝ Why ? Because someone finally likes havin’ me around, are ya’ jealous, Francis ? ❞ Giving a pained, bloody tooth smile. But despite the f e a r beginning to EAT AWAY at her Frankie STANDS HER GROUND, tears sting her eyes at his nails DIGGING INTO her scalp && her BROKEN NOSE, letting go of her hair but not without RIPPING OUT a few locks of red hair. 

          KICKING her H A R D in the stomach, a SCREAM is stuck in her throat nothing but a PAINED whimper escapes her lips, eyes WIDENED, sucking in a SHARP BREATH. Francis UNBUCKLED his belt && pulled it through the belt hoops quickly- r o l l i n g her onto her stomach with a grunt. Her vision is BLURRED && she’s DISORIENTED. The feeling of something heavy on her back cuts through the F O G of pain. ❝ Dad- ❞ Placing a HEAVY boot just below her SHOULDER BLADES, && STOMPING her f l a t against the floor squeezing the a i r from her lungs. 

          ❝ Pl- please. ❞ She knows what’s COMING NEXT. ❝ Maybe you’ll listen after this. ❞ Voice flat. She SCREAMS OUT out in AGONY when the belt C U T S into her skin, giving her a SECOND to feel the p a i n before bringing the belt down again. Old S C A R S peppered her back && it seemed he wanted to add to his COLLECTION. Three, four, five, six- 

          Frankie’s body instinctively COILED AWAY from the blow, digging her nails into the floor, it’s getting HARDER to breathe through the sobs. The more Frankie tried to SQUIRM AWAY the harder he PUSHES his boot DOWN, she swears her spine is going to s n a p under the PRESSURE. Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven- Her SCREAMING has DIED DOWN now, it’s nothing but horsed sobs- BEGGING him to S T O P. 

          Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. He slowly removes his boot from her back && puts his belt back on. Her whole body is TREMBLING with pained sobs, she curls up into a small ball sobbing HEAVILY. Back is W A R M with blood the skin is SPILT OPEN && BLOODLY && each breath is p u r e TORTURE, faint BLOODY FINGERPRINTS are etched onto the ground from digging her nails into the floor. 

          Francis’ ANGER is almost always SHORTLIVED && then the GUILT slowly starts s e e p i n g  i n, he knew it was WRONG && he had NO ONE ELSE to BLAME but himself. He sighed. With HESITANT MOVEMENTS he bends down && gently cards his fingers through red hair, she FLINCHES AWAY from the soft touch. She’s SOBBING to hard to UNDERSTAND what Francis is saying to her. ❝ You’ll understand someday, Frankie. ❞ Footsteps GROW softer before she’s a l o n e with herself again.

[unyanizedcatboys]

Tagged by @boats-with-guns-gunboats

•Rules: put all of your phone’s music library or your spotify – no playlists! – on shuffle. list the first ten songs that play. bold the song(s) that lift your mood and italicize the song(s) that makes you the most emotional. then tag ten people! 

Okay so because the app i use for my music wont let me play everything across my 3 major playlists (and i’m not gonna manually combine all 150+ songs from each one into one playlist) i just did this challenge for each one, and y’all just gotta deal with it lol

VG OST’s:

1)Ventricide: Ridiculon (this one specifically was a clip i took from one of 8bit-drummer’s streams, so it’s got serious percussion accompanying it)

2)The fish man’s dance: Michiru Yamane

3)Big band absolutely killing it: via youtube (https://youtu.be/4qcjCnkbROY just watch the link and you’ll understand why i ripped this for my music playlists)

4)Tboi Antibirth Ost- Tandava: Mudeth (https://mudeth.bandcamp.com/releases)

5)Tboi- Repentant (Piano piece)

6)Spider dance (Metal/Guitar cover) (https://youtu.be/Mzoredt3Adg)

7)Ridley’s theme: Electric Guitar cover (that no longer exists on yt bc it had like <100 views, rip)

8)Tboi ost- Ascension

9)Killer Instinct meets metal: 331Erock (https://youtu.be/iYg8HyN7mFM)

10)Spider dance (the same exact one, i shit you not, out of fuckin 150+ songs i get that again, what can i say my phone knows my faves)

Weebshit:

1)Mahoutsukai no yome op (This is a bop and you know it)

2)Maximum the hormone: What’s up people? (that one death note opening, you know the one)

3)Ira Gamagoori’s theme: Kill la Kill (bagpipes babbbbbeyyyyyy)

4)Monster Musume end credits theme: Hey smith! (you can’t deny that the bass goes hard af)

5)BnHa op (1): Eng cover Jonathan Young (Yer boi Jonathan is the only dub i’ll accept)

6)Mirai Nikki Op (fuck this tea)

7)Princess Principal Op 1 (that beat drop)

8)ACCA 13 Op (jazzy)

9)BnHa: you say run (orchestral cover) (https://youtu.be/66uYRAQ4ygU)

10)https://youtu.be/sblR0eIRW-I

“Real music”:

1)Chop suey in 20 styles: Ten second songs (https://youtu.be/oFwZA4fcetI) (guess this ones 20 for the price of 1 heheh)

2)Battlecross: Beast (hey look it’s the only metal band that made more than 1 song i liked)

3)GM+E+TS (artist collab on soundcloud, don’t ask)

4)Stronger than you (By sans) Xandu (https://youtu.be/1CQNy3JSSD0) this is a soundcloud rip so the video is lower quality but you just have to see it, it’s a damn good cover

5)Black Yen Power: G-man Spy (all my yes)

6)Voodoo People: The prodigy (nice)

7)”Killing in the name of” played on a shovel: Rob scallion (yes you read this correctly and i’m not kidding) (https://youtu.be/RroVxJO-kng)

8)150 rock n roll riffs (P3) Karl G (150 in 1? gosh i’m just a filthy cheater huh -3-)

9)Killing in the name of: Rage against the machine (yes the real one)

10)Smells like teen spirit: Nirvana (*insert that one shovel vine*)

Aaaaaaaaand i’m gonna tagggggg:

@ladyredenvy @egberts @esperbuddy @modelbrony @nalusansy123 @brimsnow @teczowyunicorn @nekotheheartless @notactuallyarenegadepearl @civvi-the-civilian

[rockybalfeatherboa]

getting these mtl headcanons outta my system

This is a long ass post but these r some random metalocalypse hcs that I feel kinda strongly abt some r real silly ok here it goes 

Aka me projecting

Toki - Enjoys activities like roller skating, weight lifting and boxing (that’s why he’s yknow fucken ripped) - Also enjoys model cars but not nearly as much as his beloved fighter planes - Thick brows - Hair is very thick and smooth (and,,pretty) but he doesn’t put a lot of work into is making the other guys kinda jealous - Sometimes shaves his legs below the knee but that’s it - Does shit like host teen choice awards and guest star on children’s tv shows BUT THEN acts surprised when kids love him,,,tf bitch this is ur fault - Absolutely loves physical affection he fuckin loves hugs and kisses!!!! - Prefers making out and titty groping groupies (and maybe a blowjob) over having sex with them .. but will still do it if he feels like he’s up to it - Kisses with his eyes open (and overall just real fuckin weird ok) - Keeps the video from Juliette sarmangsadandle in his nightstand he treasures it - Mostly writes his own keyboard parts for songs - Band thinks he’s hilarious when he doesn’t try to be but when he tries to tell jokes they don’t work ,, but he’s really funny in Norwegian it’s just the jokes don’t really translate too well so he just,,keeps it to himself - Pickles taught him how to smoke and now they like to chill and smoke together it’s like “their thing” - But he’s really picky about it he only smokes indica - (This is me projecting) Learned the phrase “if u feelin froggy then jump” and never stopped using it

Skwisgaar - shaves e v e r y t h i n g bc of 1) the aesthetics and 2) loves the way it feels - long lovely legs - huge fucken feet - has a klokateer pluck and tweeze his eyebrows them shits be on fleek - cries in secret at least once a day it’s become routine - He kept in touch with his Swedish gf for a while but then fell off and went back to hoeing #hoe4lyfe - Secretly wishes he can go back to wearing all white but he has to maintain brand recognition bc of the band - Wears very slight sweet smelling cologne behind his ears and wherever else cologne goes - Either eats a fuckton or not very much during the day,, keeping his metabolism on her toes - Guitar playing for him is like ultimate stress relief and also he fidgets with it he loves that thing - Has a book of various songs or riffs that he’s written on the guitar that dethklok will never ever use - Wears highlighter - Has run into one of his grown ass children in the bank one time and had to get the fuck out of there immediately,,they didn’t realize it was him tho -  Puts his feet on nathan just to bother him - Great teeth / really conscientious about hygiene - Cold hands and oily skin type - He has a pretty good sense of rhythm but ,, he can’t dance he can’t dance for shit oh my god it’s a disaster to look at - “I look like I can’t cook… that’s accurate” - When he drinks wine he does that thing where he swirls it around like a bougie piece of shit - Lactose intolerant :/ - Talks with his hands a l o t it’s over dramatized and very fascinating to watch - Responds to compliments with “I know”

Murderface - closet gay*   *gay but he grew up in such a homophobic environment so he tries to ignore it and pretty much force himself to be straight, explaining his constant trouble with women (Bc the attraction isn’t genuine ) and his fragile masculinity (so he’s always a “fellas is it gay to-“ or a “no homo” type of guy ),, his self esteem issues don’t help this out at all - big fuckin crush on skwisgaar (and skwis loves the attention) - sleeps with a retainer - hair is so dry,,,,,,please give this man some conditioner oh my god - knows pretty much everything about the civil war and the American revolution literally ask him anything he’s like a textbook - Somebody come get this man a pedicure - He has a lot of fans and they adore him it’s just that he’s oblivious to it,,, ppl love murderface!! - He’s not as ugly as he thinks he is or that people make him out to be, it’s just that people may think that only Bc the rest of Dethklok is so pretty. He kinda just ends up looking the worst by four-way comparison. It’s just a different type of look he has there’s nothing really wrong with his appearance - Imma go head and say it,,,he uses “y’all” - He and toki have actually made some decent songs for planet piss but it’s usually when they’re jamming out so they pretty much never get recorded 🤷🏽‍♀️ or remembered - He can move his dick voluntarily I mean I already knew that people with dicks can do this but murderface has like a whole new level of control with his - Got banned from Fintrolls bc he pissed in the olives but he just keeps coming back bc what are they gonna do? nothing - He takes his weapon/torture device collection very seriously like when u walk into his room u better not touch a damn thing or so help me -

Pickles - has nose piercings but doesn’t wear em - Small ear gauges - Strong toned legs especially shins and calves - Has not had a swig of h20 in 6 years but somehow has nice skin (a mystery) - Loathes Seth but absolutely a d o r e s  the baby!!! He loves that damn baby and always appreciates when Seth or amber send pics or FaceTime call !! Fuckin uncle pickles!! - Helps toki compose his keyboard parts for songs (Bc he too can play the piano) - Kinda flexible but not as he used to be,,he used to be able to do a full split - Likes to bug Charles a lot bc they’re the closest in age , sometimes they hang they’re good buds - Watches shitty reality tv (bad girls club, LHHATL (it has to Atlanta), etc) as a guilty pleasure - Kind of an asshole but in a way that leaves u wanting more - Played basketball freshman year of highschool,, he was ass at it lmao - Idk how much this has to do with being a headcanon but if pickles was a vine he’d be “I said whoever threw that paper, ya moms a hoe” he just carries that energy - Smells like a light combination of weed and cologne it’s really nice - Will tell one of his band mates to go blow their nose if they’re sniffling too much

Nathan - doesn’t like it when people touch his hair without asking but HOWEVER if u ask before u do he’d probably say yes ,, just gotta warn him first damn - Hates hates h a t e s feet it’s like a weird squirmy phobia. He’s ok with his own feet and just *seeing* other peoples feet but let someone’s bare foot touch him and he’d probably black out tbh - Really socially awkward outside of his stage presence but I think we all knew this - Nathan’s really sweet he just ,, u gotta know him - Really emotional when he’s drunk - Secretly cussing out everyone in his head - He doesn’t completely dislike physical affection but he’s not crazy about it either - Also kisses with his eyes open (but unlike toki he’s trying to work on it) - Dad bod but we all knew this too - Slightly introverted ..he likes to party and shit but can only take that much social interaction for so long then it’s time for him to go home - Eyes are so striking and pretty oh my god it’s like they’re shining it’s all his gfs favorite thing about him - ,,,,,,,thicc - He’s one of those people that rip off their hangnails instead of cutting them 😖 - He can throw down on the grill goddamn why isn’t he in charge of snacks? - Knows how to suture a wound with some level of proficiency - He loves his parents he just hates how they embarrass the fuck out of him god leave me alone mom and dad! - This is ironic to the last thing but remember that video where it was like “son let me hear some of your music” “I don’t think you’d like it” “c’mon let me listen” and the song is just “I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad” the whole time yea that was Nathan in high school - Strong arms (b,,beautiful) - As a kid he used to poke at roadkill for uhh entertainment - Used to be self conscious about his reading glasses but doesn’t gaf anymore - Severe case of resting bitch face he’ll literally be chillin but his face will be mean muggin but that’s just the way he looks - Tried PCP and ended up having to be chained to his bed betcha he’ll never smoke that shit again - likes crime investigation shows and serial killer documentaries - Will n e v e r  refuse a fresh hot salted pretzel

[spellcasterz]

okay to all those lgbt white kniights and sjws sendin me all the hate they have i waant u to know

that i one of thei people thait USUALLY has a lot of patience,,, the thickness skin you’d ever find,, open mind ednness oun praccctically an ything, is thhe most supportivvve person you’ d ever meet and au has tiny glimmer oef hope for humanity.....

have now sufficiently goot me to my ww its ennnd,,,, made me want to weep knowin you’re the next generationn,, made me bellieve that no matter what i am nothin BUT aun “oppresssi ve traunsphobic, homophobic cisbag who ssshould go die in a lonely ditch”, made me believe that its no longer goood to be kin d and supportive of others anymore and tha t you…

yes,,, u random lgbt+ sjw white knight on the internet that hates me to hate me FOR ssayin that weu need to be sssupportivve, rrespectfuel, incl ucive and most of all open minded and kind tto others.... that THERE was s till hope for a better tomoorrow,,,, a bettear human race.....

have sufficiently ttoo k that tiny glimmer of hope a crueshed iet, squaushed it crum bled it up ripped IT to shreds shattered it into a million pieces and a set it a flame then di sintgrated it until the re was nothin left notthin bbbut ai broken sh attttered scourched nonexistent black speck where it used to lay in my sssoul and i hope u happy i hope youre happy knowin that i feael nothin anymoreo and that i have no more hope foar humanity if ia was g iven a but ton to eradicateu us as a species i would press it thaot i hope we d ie in the most awful way imaginable that i think that we as a species need to just gggo and collectivelly die in ai p it of fiire that we as A race dont deserv e things like hope or love or anythin beca u se we are that awful

are u ha ppy????????!!!!!!!!

huih

are u happy with brin sommeoane like that to believe that we dont even deserve anythin likke love and acceptance

that the bigg est supporte r of mankin d no longer has the faith and the confidence tto see we doint deserve the moest awful death imag inaible

arre u happy with yourselves

aore u hhhappy knowin that u brought someoane that fuckin lowww

are u happy to now have an example FOR yourselves at how fuckin destru ctive u ha ve become

are you??!!!!!!!

are u happy??!!!!!!!!

come on say it i be t yoeur fuckin estatic right NOW

I bet this just some funny joke to YALL and u just feel oh so gooid rrright now

for brin someone a s hopeful and supportive and lovin as me

to the point of if i was askead to turn onnn my own kind to eraticatee all of man kind too be given a better home and immmmortality i’d say yes

that if giveun a tiny sliver of a chance to kill us all

to brin uss to extinction

i’d fuckin do it

id do i t happy knowin that we caon no longer hurt one another aenymore that we wouldnt be able t o make anyone includin OR selves feel as worthless aond as hopeless as as me

are u happy???????!!!!!

aire u fuckin hauppy with yourselves????!!!!!!!!

i hope u are SATISFIED!!!

I fuickin hope ttto god youre satisfied with yoaurselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hopeu your saitisfied in sufficiently bringin someone like mea to this point to rea lize that we need to fuckin die AND thaut nothin nothin good can come from mankind a nymore!!!!!!!!!!

do u even understand wh at youve done?????????????!!!!!!!!

are u happy yet???!!!!!!

are u satiissfiuedd????!!!

did u get your sick twisted kicks yet?????!!!!

are u entertaiened by THE KNOWLEDGE that u ma de sommeone like me come to that conclusion huhh??!!!

a re u satisfied yet does this meet your apolog y demands yet???!!!!!!

i hope YOUR satiisfied!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hope your reaal proud of yourselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope that this MEETS whatever sick twisted sense of jo y your getting!!!!!!!!!!

aren’t u happy for breoakin someone’s hopes and dre ams… ARE u happpy in bringin someone sou low and to A place where the only thin they feel now towards all their kind is malaice that someone who used to have all the hope innn the universe as poassibbly available for our race,, now hopes for its extinction.....

are n’t u happy???!!!!!!

aren’t u satisfied????!!!! well,,,, aren’t you????!!!!!!!!!!

i hope u will for ever be satisfied…

[umnachtung]

survey stealing prof at the lose again

questions taken from @in-love-with-a-trans-girl

A

Achievements: Got higher education, studied Game Design and graduated with very good results. Haven’t done a murder yet, that’s good, right?

Age: 28 goblin years

Are you planning something right now? planning a painting for my parent’s bed room, surviving the current pandemic. loosey gooesy planning on getting a job??

Arizona or Alaska: both got cool landscape. I’m probably more likely to enjoy Alaska climate tho.

B

Birthdate: 3rd of March, 1993

Build: average height, sturdy(?)

Babies, do you have any? Does my cat count?

Blonde or Brunette: I’m naturally blonde but dye my hair a lot. <- same

C

Childhood sweetheart: thats too straight for me.

Current mood: Okay? Trying to wake up properly still.

Children, are there more in your future? More cats, probably. And mind children, aka original characters for drawing and roleplaying. I don’t see myself as an actual parent.

Coke or Pepsi: neither. I don’t drink that.

D

Dad’s name: Andreas.

Dating anyone: Nay.

Do you plan on having lots of money? Not planning on but wouldn’t it be nice?!

Dogs or cats: cats. dogs are cute too, tho.

E

Elementary School: the start  of getting bullied

Eye color: Green <- same

Ever going to China? probably not.

Early or Late: Late.

F

First Crush: My BFF, I guess?

Fears: heights, phone calls and emails, embarrassing myself, failure, no progress and being stuck in life

Future goals: move out, get a job, and stop being so fuckin’ emo

Funny or Serious: Alas I am a clown.

G

Grandparent’s names: I don’t remember, but my dad’s mom was refered to as Oma Katze.

GPA: 2,4 in Abitur, but who cares? it’s a freakin number.

Going anywhere this weekend?  Maybe to a friend’s place to give her something.

Giver or Taker: Both. Life has to be balanced. <- agreed

H

High School: Lord have Mercy and Jesus take the Wheel.

Hair color: dark red, done with henna.

Hate anyone for life? Anyone who hurt and wronged my friends.

Hairspray or Gel: Pomade because I’m a 50s rocknroll boy.

I

In 8th grade, who was your best friend? Selena and Abelina

Is ignorance bliss? Sometimes?

Is there anything you wanna share? I would love to share rich people’s money with the rest of the world.

Ice Cream or Cake: Cake.

J

Jumped rope for fun: As a kid, yes. IDK if I still know how to do it.

Junk around you right now? The usual desk clutter, also my trash bin?

Joining anything anytime soon? Not that I am aware of.

January or July: January if there is proper snow. July if it is not too hot.

K

Killed anyone: Only with my killer jokes.

Keeping a secret? Ain’t we all?

Kicking someone off your top friends today? What is this? a USA High School Drama?

Kiwi or Apple: Kiwi.

L

Lost anyone close to you: Not really. My cat was probably the closest thing dear to me that I ever lost. R.I.P. Kaveri <3 <- same, RIP Nera

Last kiss, when and who: IDFK. It’s been 87 years

List 3 people that you’ll love forever: Nicole, Rhoda, Abelina I supposeee? 3 is not enough lmao.

Lover or Fighter: I will kick your ass, I will kick my own ass.

M

Middle School: Jesus took the Wheel.

Marital Status: None of your business.

Mom’s name: Allexandra

Music or TV: Music, what is this the early 2000s?

N

Northernmost state you’ve been to: Ostsee/ Nordsee. :,D

Nickname: Toni, Prof

Name your future boy and girl: Felix or Caspar, Sam(antha) or Artemis(?)

Naughty or Nice: Bastard wi th a cause.

O

Opened a piece of mail that wasn’t yours? Yeah, but it’s usually like, advertisment stuff for my parents and nothing personal.

Occupation: disgusting unemployed parasite who doesnt contribute to society and capitalism, aka artist.

Owe anyone money: Don’t believe so.

Outgoing or Shy: Depends on the person.

P

Place you most want to be? Anywhere in nature, away from the city. Preferable near water.

Purposely destroyed someone’s life? Waste of time and energy tbh.

Planning a major trip? Nope. It’s pandemic time, baby.

Pink or Black? Black. <- same

Q

Quit a class: Does only showing up to the final exam count?

Quickly…the first word to come to mind: Help

Quitting your job soon? No job to quit here.

Quiet or Loud: Quiet. <- yas, queen

R

Riding in an airplane: Annoying as fuck. There is nothing to do and you cant really get up and moving.

Ride, tell me about yours: public transport is my steed.

Running for any political office in the future? Running them over with my public transport steed.

Rain or Snow: Snow. <- heck yay

S

Siblings names and ages: Mona, 29

Shoe size: EU 39 <- same

Shave daily? nope.

Shower or Bath: Bath, can’t really shower comfortable in the bathroom here.

T

Turning 21 was (will be): I don’t even remember that year.

Texas, ever been? No, not interested tbh.

Think you’ll live to be 100? no.

Tame or Wild: Depends on who you ask.

U

Unique quality about you: Uhhhhhh....idk.

Underwear on? Yeah, it’s too cold to go comando.

Under your bed lies: A portion of my room.

Under or Over: I take the ground below you.

V

Virgin? Protip: stay one so you have access to virgin blood for your rituals.

Vacation time left? lol

Voting in the next Presidential election? No president where I live. <- same but gonna vote in the next election

Volleyball or Swimming: Swimming!!!! <3 <3 <- same, let me live my wet dreams

W

Went white water rafting? That looks dangerous.

Wearing right now: PJs, pink-green striped t shirt and green flower pattern lounge pants

Write a sentence about you: Toni transports thousands of trolls through the training track.

West Coast or East Coast: Weizentoast.

X

X-Rays in the past month: I think my jaw at the dentist?

X-Mas plans: NO, ITS TO EARLY: PLEASE STOP.

X, does it mark the spot? On Maps probably.

X-Tina or Britney? Christina has better songs imo. Wish Britney could do what she wanted in life tho.

Y

You lost “it” when? I am about to fuckin’ lose it every second now. 

Your favorite song: Tool - Parabola

Your favorite place on Earth: Not been to enough places yet.

Yes or No: No.

Z

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Zippos are neat, agree? Yes.

Zoo or Circus: Zoo.

[ifdragonscouldtalk]

What happens when reioka and I talk

reioka: For real?! Tony's tiny, not person sized?! ifdragonscouldtalk: No XD hes person sized in the fic But it would make it funny Imagine bruce trying to find a needle small enough to get a blood sample reioka: I mean... ask a bird vet probably ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony hanging off Steve's pinky finger by his tail reioka: The idea is very adorable, if impracticle ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky has a cat. The cat likes little tony. Tony does NOT LIKE the cat reioka: Awww. Wait like like "dinner" or like like "person!" ifdragonscouldtalk: We dont know. Tony screams when Cat gets within 3 feet. Steve keeps Cat out of the room now. reioka: Aw poor kitty lol Poor Tony "It's big! It's get sharps everywhere! EVERYTHING IS SHARP!" ifdragonscouldtalk: Bruce puts a filter in the tank. Tony doesnt like the filter. It swirls the water around and blows him away. Tony launches a war with the filter. Bruce is Not Happy. reioka: Smol Tony building tools with the rocks at the bottom of the tank, sacrificing one of his pieces of seaweed to tie them all together to fling into the filter and cause it to jam ifdragonscouldtalk: Hes smug af cuz he clearly Won until he sees Bruce's face o h s h i t reioka: Lmao does he even understand WHY he needs a filter Does he want to swim in his own excrement ifdragonscouldtalk: He lived in the ocean before reioka All he knows is before the waters were still and now they are Not He probably doesnt notice XD reioka: Lmao the waters were never still you water horse you were just too far down to notice

ifdragonscouldtalk: But ok tony getting so excited he flails around in the water and winds up tangled in seaweed He does Not Appreciate pepper taking a picture reioka: "Pepper I am suffering. This is abuse. I'm going to die here." "You are not going to die you dumb seahorse I won't let you." "*choking sound*" "...Are you crying--" Tony ducks further into the seaweed and mumbles no ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky and steve storming in from opposite doors shouting whO MADE HIM CRY WHY "I'm not crying!" reioka: Lmao just the idea of them trying to threaten Pepper tho Like... what a death wish ifdragonscouldtalk: Im sobbing imagine some intern giving tony little barbie tools and shit and he gets so frustrated because "I know these are fake! They're plastic!" reioka: He lets go and they float to the top of the tank and he is at the bottom just glaring up at them like... "You've all betrayed me. I know they're plastic and I hate you." ifdragonscouldtalk: Im a g ine someone buying Real Seahorses and putting them in the tank and tony is so territorial and ends up actually just wrestling a bunch of them reioka: I just snorted water out my nose omg "MY tank. MINE. GET OUT." ifdragonscouldtalk: And the actual seahorses are just so curious about this Strange Seahorse They think hes just trying to bump bellies until he grabs ones snout and then theyre Angery reioka: OH NO What does an angry seahorse do [ifdragonscouldtalk sends a screenshot of seahorses fighting with their tails] ifdragonscouldtalk: Seahorses punch Tony with their tails. Tony wails. Theyre meanies. reioka: Wtf Tony you've got actual fists HIT 'EM BACK ALSO A TAIL What a whiny baby I love him ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony eventually emerges victorious They find them the next morning with the others cowering in the corner and the water very slightly pink Bruce is Not Happy reioka: Just name the entire series Bruce is Not Happy because that will probably always be his reaction to everything. ifdragonscouldtalk: Series starts Bucky -- hey yo stevie look at this weird fuckin fish i found Steve -- screams reioka: *snort* Everyone debates on whether or not he's technically a fish and he's just sitting there like "I'm a seahorse" but are you a FISH? "A seahorse." ifdragonscouldtalk: "What is your species" "Awesome" reioka: "What do you call yourselves?" "Our names? I'm Tony, in case you've forgotten." "No, I mean, as a group?" "A family? *gasp* Do you guys not have families, is that why you don't know?" An intern is crying in the background from the effort it takes not to laugh because Tony looks honestly distraught that they've never heard of a family. ifdragonscouldtalk: Oh my g od Good reioka: Finally "Tony. Tony. Are you a fish?" "I'm a seahorse." "Seahorses are fish." "Then I gotta be a fish." Bruce screams in frustration in the background. They've been at this for hours. God damn it. ifdragonscouldtalk: Shoulda just googled it Tony compliments Bruce's singing because he's a gentleman But secretly wtf sort of singing is that reioka: LMAO if the real seahorses are still in the tank, just whispering to them "Did you hear that? Do they draw mates with that? Horrifying." ifdragonscouldtalk: The seahorses just look at him Bruce screams again reioka: Bonus if Betty is there for some reason and comes to see what happened and Tony gasps. "It worked!" ifdragonscouldtalk: Im crYING Whenever pep walks in the room now tony screams reioka: Bonus points: Pepper knows why and one time she screams back and Tony ducks back under the water, covering his blushing face. God I wish I could draw Just seahorse Tony covering his face and Pepper laughing good-naturedly in the background ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky and Steve spend the whole day trying to figure out why tony keeps blushing and why hes making a "mating hut" reioka: HAHAHA I wonder if Pepper feels bad for "leading him on" because come on, they don't--even have compatible parts, not even talking about the size difference ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony scoffs and says he knows and he was only joking and then literally just turns around and starts crying. Shes still standing there. TONY. reioka: TONY THE ENTIRE TANK IS SEE-THROUGH Aw now I feel really bad for him haha ifdragonscouldtalk: He'll be fiiiiiiine, natasha challenges pep to a fight on his behalf The fight pretty much entails nat biting and kicking peps hand with her tail, but w/e tony loves it reioka: "I will protect Tony's honor," Natasha tells everyone and then BITE BITE BITE Pepper pretends it hurts more than it does tbh Natasha beating the shit out of Pepper's hand Pepper wrapping it in bandages longer than strictly necessary because every time Natasha sees it she puffs up proudly and Tony looks pleased ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony still kisses all the band aids tho Cuz hes a whiny sweetheart reioka: Aw Natasha grudgingly tells Pepper she was a worthy opponent and Pepper glows for hours. ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony starts screaming at steve ans bucky instead reioka: One time when the humans go out for drinks Pepper gets sloppy drunk and cries and the others are like "What's wrong" and she's just like "God I just love these stupid fish so much" YEEE Are they smart enough to scream back or do they just get nervous because they think they've done something wrong ifdragonscouldtalk: Oh my God pep I bet bucky screams back just for the heck of it and steve shrieks cuz hes startled but tones takes it for a scream. Tony glows "I got /two/ human mates nat" She screams at hill just because she likes a challenge and human women are Cute reioka: Natasha is daunted but if they hurt Tony she's gonna fight 'em anyway lol Lmao does Hill scream back OH Hill doesn't scream back but Natasha's just like "aw yisssss motha fuckin challenge" Tony supports Natasha's endeavors even when he thinks she's out of her mind ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony is a Good Bro Tonys new mating house tho Its glorious Nat helps him with it Bruces like "what are you doing" and tonys like "showing off for my mates" "Who?" "Bucky and Steve. They didn't say?" Bruce is Not Happy reioka: It's a good thing Bruce doesn't have Hulk powers because I assume literally everything we've said so far would make him turn into the jolly green giant. ifdragonscouldtalk: "You guys cant fuck the seahorse. It is physically impossible to fuck the seahorse." Steve actually chokes ifdragonscouldtalk: Real question: is clint a seahorse or a human Because i can see him accidentally almost killing Tony and Nat on a weekly basis and them loving it but i can also see him convincing Tony to do stupid shit with him like rock their tank off the table Bruce comes in and screams so loudly and tony looks at clint and goes "wow he really loves you" reioka: On one hand: "You wanna try coffee?" *pours coffee directly into tank. Everyone hates him. Tony and Natasha have not stopped vibrating for hours. They could have died. "MORE COFFEE! MORE COFFEE!" they chant, banging on the glass. Everyone HATES him. On the other hand: "That box they brought in looks interesting do you think you can throw me at it." Tony puts his engineering cap on and Bruce walks in just in time to watch Clint fly out of the tank, screaming, and lands on a pizza box with a splat. ifdragonscouldtalk: Im vibrating desperately as i try not to laugh Clint: puts an entire bar of chocolate in the tank, its gone in two hours, Tony and Nat are simultaneously in immense pain and doing theur best to tear the tank apart Or Clint: challenges natasha to a fight and sends everyone running when he screams because "SHE WAS GONNA RIP MY TAIL OFF" reioka: Lmao beautiful "She wouldn't have ripped your tail off," Tony tells him soothingly as Natasha gives Tony her best wtf face and mouths "yeah I would." ifdragonscouldtalk: Either way bruce screams and tony thinks theyre mates. reioka: Tony, whispering: Bruce must really like you, he screams an awful lot. Clint, thoughtful: ...We could make it work. Natasha: I dunno he screams at a lot of people? Maybe he's not monogamous. Bruce: *notices all three of them staring intensely and is somewhat uncomfortable* ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony: maybe he's what the humans call a player! Clint and Nat: *gasp* Bruce: why tf are they glaring at me what are they planning now ifdragonscouldtalk: Imagine someone trying to explain to them that screaming =/= mating reioka: Tony: It worked for me??? In both cases??? Pepper's just not ready for children but I am and I understand that. Pepper: *spews coffee* Tony: But Bucky and Steve like me! :D Natasha: *smug* Maria likes me. *everyone turns to look at Hill* Hill: ...I have paperwork to do. ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky and Steve nearly have a heart attack when bruce askes when they were planning to tell him about the children reioka: Steve: Tony, we... can't have children. Tony: D: you... you don't want children with me? Bucky: That's not it! We, uh... we're physically incapable of. Conceiving. With you. Tony: ...WELL. You can't help that you're barren. Steve and Bucky: *bug-eyed* Tony: Maybe I could talk to Natasha. The fry wouldn't be your biologically but it's the love that matters. Bruce finds Steve and Bucky crying later and he doesn't want to ask but he does anyway. "It's the love that matters," Steve sobs, and Bucky adds, "That's so beautiful, holy shit." ifdragonscouldtalk: Oh my g od If they did have children only one ends up having a normal name because bucky and steve are never quick enough to imprint on the fry reioka: Lmao LOL THE PREGNANCY Steve: So how many kids are we lookin' at, Bruce? Bruce: At least two dozen. Bucky: *faints* Bruce: Probably more. Steve: ...Can I afford that many children Bruce: GET OUT OF MY LAB. ifdragonscouldtalk: OH MY VGOD Pepper buys another bigger tank Clint and Nat start hissing at anyone who tries to touch tones except his mates reioka: Aw, little tiny ultrasound on Tony's belly! Bruce endures Clint and Natasha's biting with aplomb. ifdragonscouldtalk: Steve and Bucky both pass out minutes into the labor and continue to pass out every time they wake up till its over By the time they wake up the last time theyre already named - dummy, you, cutie, friday, toast, stan Nat names one Hill and Hill is her Best Niece reioka: Lmao "Why Toast" "Why not Toast? Do you not like it? Well it's too late her name is Toast." ifdragonscouldtalk: Steve and Bucky are crying. The seahorses think it's joy. Pep and Bruce are just patting their shoulders. Pepper thinks they shouldve seen it coming Clint names one Hawk just to piss ppl off reioka: Lmao Tony introducing all the fry to Steve and Bucky, "Children, these are your fathers. Steve, Bucky, this is" long list of names. They're never going to remember them all, they're terrible parents. Eventually Tony orders his children to tell them who they're speaking to because when they misbehave he wants to yell at the right one. "That's fair," the fry agree, and then start doing it for everyone except Pepper and Hill. reioka: Pepper: Isn't it... kinda cruel? Natasha: I heard a seahorse gave birth to fifty kids once. Some of them drift away because they're idiots that won't listen. One time my mom called me every name but mine. ifdragonscouldtalk: Imagine how much Trouble clint gets them into reioka: Clint: Do you think with all these seahorses we could tip the tank Tony: Do not tip the tank. Clint: I bet we could. Natasha: Do NOT Fry: *cheerfully* TIP THE TANK! TIP THE TANK! Tony: STEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE CATCH THE TAAAAAAAAAAANK ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony and Natasha actually screeching Bucky and Steve catch the tank but tony is sobbing and panicking because his cHILDREN ARE GOING TO DIE LIKE IDIOTS reioka: Steve: *angry* DON'T DO THAT TO YOUR MOTHER. Bucky: Steve, you shouldn't yell at the kids. CLINT YOU LITTLE SHIT. Tony: *sobbing, gathering the fry to him frantically* Fry: *feel terrible* ifdragonscouldtalk: Imagine them all going to the beach and all of them are hanging off Buckys hair and Steve is makin sure none of them drift away Tony is actually screeching in joy because a c t u a l s a n d Toast would prefer to be near Steve so she hangs on to his drawstring of his swimsuit Nat teaches Hill how to train and ride hermit crabs reioka: Tony: *cries* Look at my beautiful family. Bucky: Aw, doll. :) You don't have to-- Tony: MY FAMILY KICKS EVERY OTHER FAMILY'S ASS. Bucky: ...Doll. Steve: *laughs, chokes on sea water* ifdragonscouldtalk: Clint.... Challenges a blue crab,, to a fight Bruce has to save him reioka: Okay so hear me out -- Bruce and Betty are together but Clint just kind of gets inserted into their relationship because "I'm pretty sure he's lowkey trying to die" Bruce says and then Betty has a baby and Clint was like "Holy shit this thing is huge. I love her. She's mine now." Betty's amused. Bruce just sighs. ifdragonscouldtalk: G O O D Clint trying to get the baby to challege a crab to a fight reioka: Baby sitting on it and crushing it with her diaper. Clint: ...That works. Bruce: Stop trying to get our child to fight everything bigger than you, Clint! Clint: *starts crying* Bruce: Oh God what did I do Betty: *snorting, trying to get the crab to let go of the baby's diaper* You called her 'our' baby and he's included in the 'our' and he's happy you idiot. Bruce: Oh ifdragonscouldtalk: Natasha rides past on a hermit crab and clint starts blabbering to her and shes just like yeah? Can YOUR kid race hermit crabs Clint looks at Bruce and Betty. Bruce: No, our kid cannot- Betty: if you can find one big enough Bruce: BeTTY reioka: Betty: Oh my God Bruce he's never going to find a crab big enough. Bruce: I don't believe that. I believe he could find one. He regularly gets himself thrown out of the tank to steal my pizza. Betty: He's so tiny how much could he eat? Bruce: *stony silence* Betty: D: ifdragonscouldtalk: Ok but Bucky with seahorses just hanging onto his hair. Theyre everywhere. He looks like a seahorse tree. reioka: Pepper takes lots of pictures. Bucky loves them. He'd thought about cutting his hair at one point but now that he has become the seahorse tree he vows to only have it trimmed. ifdragonscouldtalk: A horseshoe crab scares one of the kids and Tony's just like im gONNA FITE IT and Steve is like nO reioka: Tony manages to knock it upside down but it's so distressed by it that he gets Steve to turn it back over and it scuttles away in the opposite direction ifdragonscouldtalk: Ok but also Clint and Tony and Natasha forcing pep to help them set up a 'human date' for Nat and Hill because yes reioka: Clint and Tony vibrating when they see Hill coming back with Natasha, ready to interrogate her on whether the date went well, but then Hill leans down and presses a kiss to Natasha's cheek (Well, her entire side of her head, but they intention is still there) and they squeal and then slap at each other to shut up because NATASHA IS BLUSHING OH MY KRILL ifdragonscouldtalk: G O O D Natasha is smug like "She's definitely my mate. She just hasn't done the ritual yet." Hill going to Coulson like "a fish is courting me" reioka: Coulson: Stranger things have happened. Hill: Not to ME ifdragonscouldtalk: Wwheezesx justin hammer,,, stealing them reioka: NOOOOO Can you imagine Tony, Natasha, and Clint trying to protect all the fry Trying so hard, but they all get taken anyway, and they know they couldn't really do anything against a human but they feel like they SHOULD HAVE ifdragonscouldtalk: Can you imagine,, tony breaking down,,, and justin trying to get them to breed. Cuz m e r m a i ds. And tony just telling him that if he touched the kids his mates would kill him reioka: Justin would probably curse himself for missing two seahorses But NAY TWO SUPER SOLDIERS ifdragonscouldtalk: ScReech can u imagine justin putting a little glowy tracking device in tonys chest reioka: Honestly I'm just imagining them all being so scared that their tails clutch at each other until they're just a big ball of trembling, teary seahorses WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT I love it ifdragonscouldtalk: When they finally do come it's actually Maria who gets there first and she scoops up hill and nat and holds them desperately Just nuzzling them Bruce finds clint actually sobbing Steve and bucky beat justin mostly dead reioka: GOOD He deserves it ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony clings to steves fingers and cries while bucky gets the kids reioka: Steve presses desperate kisses all over Tony's body but his lips glance over whether the tracker is and Tony wails in pain and Steve is horrified because oh God what did Hammer DO Bruce physically stops Steve from walking over and crushing Hammer's skull under his boot because he needs to know everything Hammer did

[heartarrxw-blog]

[[ @ncvanurse liked for a starter [x] ]]

“God fuckin’ piece of shit!” 

Yondu raged, uselessly kicking at the hull of his crashed flyer. Yes, that’s right, crashed. F u c k i n g c r a s h e d.

This was his flier. His personal bird. She never, ever crashed. Ever. Save for being shot out of the sky, anyway. But never in peak condition, never when he was at the helm. And he was always at the helm.

“Who touched my ship.” The bleeding, bashed up Centaurian growled, ripping away at the left thruster. It started sparking upon ascent from Xandar’s atmosphere; this was the start of his inevitable crash back onto the planet. He knew his bird inside out, like the back of his own damn hand; and there it was. A component that had been scrapped and replaced. One that he had not put there himself.

Yondu snarled, grabbing the wires holding it in place and ripping the component out, almost relishing the electric shock he received. It only fueled his anger.

“Whoever touched my goddamn ship,” He growled lowly, “is goin’ t’fuckin’ die tonight.”

And oh, he would find them. He would. And they would pay. But now he had more important things to worry about; like the fact that he crashed on Xandar, without his usual entourage. So if the ship communicator wasn’t working, he would be stuck here for a while. And ‘a while’ was long enough for -

Groaning, Yondu thumped his head against the hull of his ship. He could hear a vehicle approaching over the sound of his bird sizzling; likely some Nova Corps do-gooder. With any luck, the Ravager Reds would make them fuck off quick.

Taking in a breath, Yondu turned and headed toward the approaching vehicle, stopping a few yards away from his ship. He wiped some blood from his lip, glaring at the woman who exited the craft.

“Don’tchu do-gooders know how t’mind yer own damn business?”

[kyedrinkscola]

WARNING:

ABUSE FLASHBACK AT THE END, AND THEN SOME SELF HARM. READ AT YOUR OWN CAUTION.

Ink's PoV:

No, no, no....

The world isn't supposed to be white! It's just a bad dream, Ink! You'll wake up soon! Wait... why IS the world white?? That doesn't make sense, I was just in Underswap!

I hear a voice, trying to calm me down. I listen to it, getting closer to it.

I open my eye sockets. I look around, wincing slightly; still in Underswap. "Hey, Ink, what the hell was that?" a voice very familiar says. Error.

Great.

I explain my leukophobia, and how suddenly I just... hallucinated. Stars, now he's even more confused than before. Fantastic!

"So, uh, yeah... I have leukophobia, whatever..." I mumble. "Look, I don't really understand," Error starts. "But I have a tiny thought that you're FEELING. Like, actually. Have you ever been this panicked before?"

I contemplate my past traumatic experiences with my leukophobia. "... no?" I mutter. "Huh. You're actually feeling real emotions. I wonder what triggered it."

I have a feeling I know what started it.

Error.

It's not like I can tell him, though. He'd probably freak out, or ask me why. "So. Do you have any idea why?" Error asks curiously, knocking me out of my thoughts. Fuck.

"Nope," I say rather calmly for someone who's LYING. He looks at me weirdly. He's probably found out I'm lying, he's going to leave me, then I'm going to be empty again- wait. Am I being selfish??

Holy fuck, it's like I have a real soul. I need to hang out with Error more! I want to feel!

... am I being a bad person again...?

Eh, screw it. I need this. It won't matter in the long run, Error's just a tool so I can feel emotions! It'll be fine, he won't find out.

"Hey, Ink, why are your eye lights rapidly cycling??? It's really weird." Oh fuck, he probably knows already. Goddamn, I forgot that I can feel now.

"Huh, it must be because I had too many vials. Sometimes this happens, I get emotionally overwhelmed," I say. It's not a complete lie, sometimes it DOES happen, it's just a lie RIGHT NOW.

".... remember the X-Event??" I suddenly say. He looks at me with concern. "Do NOT tell me some person made you join another "game". I'll fucking kill you, Ink," Error snarls.

I get worried, and feel my eye lights change. "Woah, woah, calm down! No, I haven't joined another "game"! It's just... I feel like I'm a bad person right now," I mumble the ending. "Oh," Error says, calming down.

"Ink, you're not a bad person. Sure, you've done fucked up things, like the X-Event and tormenting me. But I mean, most of that wasn't your fault."

"Thank you, Error. I just... I don't like myself. I'm so selfish. And I hate it. I depend so much on others, it's disgusting. And then, the whole "I'm suddenly a villain!" thing. It's- I-"

Error cuts me off with a well said statement: "Ink. Calm the fuck down. You're not always going to be the best person in the Multiverse. Relax."

Error's PoV:

I didn't know he hated himself that much. But I knew something was off. He was smiling to himself creepily before I mentioned his eye lights cycling. It switched from the common yellow star and blue oval to pinpricks, to red crosshairs, to other weird shapes.

Plus his damn smile. It was so.... wrong to look at. It was highly disturbing, not gonna lie. Something was wrong. Is he being manipulated? Am I the one being manipulated??

No, I can't think like that. He's my friend now. I trust him.

Should I even trust him?? What if he's manipulating me? What will I do if he stabs me in the back? I'd probably abandon him, actually.

"Hey, Error," Ink says. I snap out of it, looking at him. "You were shaking. What's wrong?" Oh, what should I say, 'I think you're going to betray me so I'll betray you first'?

"N-n0th1nG, 1nK, i'M finE."

"You're glitching. That means otherwise."

Damn. I can't escape this one. "Fine, I'm irrationally thinking that you're going to stab me in the back when I least expect it. Happy?" I mutter. Ink freezes, his eye lights slowly dissolving into small white dots.

"Ink?? Are you okay?? Did your emotions run out?" I say, concerned. "I think so, yeah. Let me just-" As he fumbles with a vial, he suddenly freezes. His eye lights change suddenly.

"Ink. What's going on. You're obviously lying about not being able to feel emotions without your vials." I say cautiously. "I don't know what's going on, Error! I swear!"

I glare at him. What if he's lying to me? What if he can feel now? I reach out with my strings as if to grab a soul. Nothing.

Nothing is there. Why can he suddenly feel? I squint my eyes slightly, as if analyzing a puzzle. What's going on here? I let go of the strings, thinking. If he has no phantom soul, nor a real soul, how can he feel?

I feel my errors increase slowly as I get a headache from thinking. WHY CAN HE SUDDENLY FEEL EMOTIONS? AND WHY IS IT APPEARING WHEN I'M AROUND HIM?! Wait. That's it.

I start chuckling. "Ink, I figured it out. You're feeling emotions around only me, as far as I know. If you're only feeling around me, that means something."

Ink shudders. "Uh, I've yet to figure out if I can feel around others, so just say whatever you have to say."

"Ink. If you can feel when you're around me, that means.... uh.... fuck, I was just thinking about it." Ink laughs. "Now YOU have the bad memory!" I frown.

"Fuck, I was LITERALLY just thinking about it, what the hell?! UGH, Fate did something. She doesn't want me to figure out why you feel." Ink starts sweating. "Oh, uh. That's bad."

My eyes narrow at him. "Are you lying?"

Ink's PoV:

Oh fuck he's going to figure it out. Fuck fuck fuck, what do I do?! I contacted Fate, my creator, to make Error not figure out why I'm feeling emotions. Now he's suspicious of me. Great.

I start sweating more. F u c k .

For some reason, he ignores it. He made me scared, only to ignore it. Wow, Error. That's rude.

Two can play that game, so I ignore him. He grows annoyed eventually. "Ink, what the hell?! Pay attention to me when I'm speaking!" I ignore his words.

Then he says it. "Shorty." I grit my teeth, trying desperately to ignore him. "Pfft. Rainbow Ass. Ink Blot. Squid. Inky Mess. Nightmare Fuel-" he says the last one as I glare at him.

He looks utterly terrified. G o o d .

"Don't call me Shorty," I say threateningly. He smirks. "Sho-" I try to strangle him. It doesn't work, for obvious reasons. We're skeletons. Anyways, I'm getting annoyed.

"G0d, 1nK, dON'T fU€kiN' d0 thAt," Error says, glitching. "Oh, right, haphephobia. And trauma. Sorry," I mumble. He forgives me. God, he really shouldn't.

I sigh, picking at my scarf. I'm just using him. Why do I even feel guilty?? It's probably just the emotions I feel from being around him. Yeah. That's all it is.

So why do I hate myself so much for doing this...? Is this a premonition??

My eye lights are probably changing without me feeling it, again. He's probably creeped out, once again. Ugh. Why can't I just be fucking NORMAL? Wait, haha, I ruined that when I ripped my soul apart, into shattered pieces.

I should've just dusted.

"Multiverse to Ink? Hello~?" Error says, waving his hand in front of my face. I twitch as I look up, not expecting it. He laughs. "PFFT- HAHHAHAHA- YOUR EXPRESSION-!" I glare at him. My expression? He really IS a Sans.

"My expression WHAT, Mr "I'm not a Sans anymore" Error?" Yellow glows on his dark bones, and he glares back at me. Embarrassment. "ShU7 uP!¡ 4t leAs7 I d0n'T blUsH ra1nBoW-w-W!!1¡" he says, glitching intensely.

Ah fuck, he's probably going to crash if I keep taunting him. Might as well~

"At least I don't glow like the damn sun when I'm embarrassed," I smirk. He crashes, taking about an hour to finish. By the time he's "awake" again, I've been laughing my ass off for thirty minutes.

Then he realizes that it's over a puppet of me. And he glows brighter than even Dream can.

"g̶1v̶E̶ M̶E̶ T̶h̶4T̶t̶T̶1¡!"

I snicker, barely understanding what he's saying. "Hey Glitchy, why do ya have a puppet of me? Can I keep it~?" I say teasingly. "N̶O̶!¡1!" Error yells, making me laugh. He's so upset, maybe I SHOULD keep the thing.

He glares at me, trying to calm down. "Ink. Give me the damn puppet," he growls. I grin. "Not so fast, Glasses. Why can't I keep it? It's me, anyways~" I say semi seriously. He stares at me like I'm insane.

"Ink. Give me. The fuckin. Puppet."

"Nah, make a new one, Glasses."

"Fuck you, Skittles."

Woah woah woah, Skittles? I stare at him blankly. "What do you mean by that?" I say, confused. "You blush rainbow. Surely you've noticed, Skittles." I glare at him, feeling my cheekbones slowly heat up.

"Ha! Rainbow Squid!"

"SHUT UP, ERROR!"

I feel tears pinprick at the edges of my sockets from sheer frustration. I love teasing others, but when others tease me I get upset. Especially if it's about the fact I'm a walking gay symbol, by the fact I blush rainbow.

"Woah woah woah, calm down! I didn't mean to upset you-!" Error says, scared. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! EVERYONE MAKES FUN OF IT, SO WHY SHOULDN'T YOU?" Error looks dead in my eyes.

"Did I ever say that I hated it, Skittle Face?"

Error's PoV:

Fuck fuck fuck fuck, I messed up, he's staring at me confused, what do I do?! I continuously shift my weight between my feet, anxious. I hate myself, what the hell?! I just HAD to ruin whatever type of relationship we have-!

"Error, that's uh... nice of you to say. Thank you." I stare at the Squid. He's smiling. I blush yellow slightly, internally slapping myself for being awkward. "Oh, uh, yeah! You're w-welcome-E-e!¡" I stutter.

"Now give me back the puppet."

"Never, Glasses!"

"SKITTLESISWEARTOGOD-" (SKITTLES I SWEAR TO GOD-)

"Hmm, I kinda wanna draw something. Can I draw you???" Ink asks enthusiastically. I groan, "Go ahead, Squid. Just don't make it ugly." "Errorrr, you KNOW I don't draw bad! You even said it was decent once!"

The world turned black.

????'s PoV:

Yin and Yang. Love and Hate. Positivity and Negativity. There are many balances in the multiverse.

One of the most important ones is one I'm a part of, Creation and Destruction. Who am I?

Some might call me Error. Some may call me a mistake. Some might even call me the God of Destruction. 

But it's a forced, thankless job. And Ink, The Creator, is in my fucking way.

"ERROR! I SWEAR TO GOD, WHY DO YOU CONTINUE?! DON'T I PUNISH YOU WELL ENOUGH?"

Oh yeah. Right.

The Creator, Ink, is a selfish prick who abuses me. Fun. Plus he's a fucking douchebag.

"1nK, I sWE4r, you nEver L3t mE-!¡" He interrupts me, throwing red paint directly into my face. I scream, clawing at my skull desperately, wanting it OFF. "Error, Error. You never fucking learn. There is no GODDAMN BALANCE. YOU'RE MAKING IT UP."

I finally give up, wincing at the pain from the stupid red paint. It hurts so badly. Red paint drips from my face.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Everything is silent. I think, "wow, Ink must've left!" Then he really starts abusing me.

He kicks me in the ribs, and I clench my teeth together. I don't want to seem weak, but I know I will cave in eventually.

And so does he.

He rips off one of my ribs, and I scream bloody murder. He keeps going.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

I start sobbing, begging him to stop torturing me. He doesn't listen. "Error, you'll have to try a little harder than THAT."

Now I'm on the floor, calling out for help as he breaks me.

But nobody comes, because who would help a psychopathic destroyer? Certainly not me, if I were in their shoes.

....

I deserve this.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

It's bone marrow mixed with red paint, now. Funny. That's what's causing the dripping sound.

Finally, he lets me go. I stumble back into my home, the AntiVoid.

Then I chip away at my bones with a knife. After all, I deserve this. I deserve pain and suffering.

Right?

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip drip.

Drip drip drip.

Drip drip drip drip-

I pant. This hurts so goddamn much. I don't hear Ink enter the AntiVoid until it's too late.

"Hey, Error. Sorry for- WHAT THE FUCK?!" Ink screams. I drop the knife, quickly looking up and pulling down my sleeve.

"LEAVE. N0w, 1nK̶." I say, angry. He wasn't supposed to see me doing this. He looks at me with almost a look of pity.

That's not right.

I deserve this.

[useless-crafting-lesbian]

the ash pants

sometimes ..... a gal needs a good in between project ... enter the ash pants

i’m going off of this pattern from mood but i’m going to edit it pretty intently. the goal is to have them done by the end of the day .. We Shall See .

11:44 am || i’ve finished up with therapy (haha :) we got nowhere but it’s all ggGgGGGg) fabric, zippers, and thread has been purchased. because of all the sales going on at joann’s i ended up getting fabric for another pair of pants too but for now i’m just going to focus on this one. 

yee yee bo let’s party

1:53 pm || wow a bitch lost a lot of time it’s been like four hours but i don’t know for sure because i’m refusing to do the math. i taped the whole pattern together .. can’t say it was an enjoyable process. normally the assembly of mood patterns is super nice n easy but this took forever and everything isn't lining up which is super promising but yolo i guess 

3:08 pm || good heavens this is taking a really long time. i have finished altering and cutting out the pattern pieces for the pants .. the original pattern intended for a fit look up to like the knees and then a flare but bitch i have crippling body image problems tight clothes on my t h i g h s is Not going to happen also i don’t like flared pants they remid me of fifth grade and no one wants that

the pieces are really really r e a l l y wide (especially the back ones) so i feel like i should do something about that but .. eh .... i’m going to eat my lemon tart (eep) and think about it

3:52 pm || eep time is really passing huh ............... well i ate my tart .... i’m feeling hashtag bad about my body !!!!! but what’s new buenos aires. i’ve settled on making half a pair of pants from my ikea muslin and reassessing which is what i’m about to start cutting/sewing now so ! stay tuned i guess

5:19 pm || good g o d five nineteen why is this taking so fucking loNg !!!!!!!! sdfghjgfdfg aNyways i finally have a pattern that will (hopefully ?) work so yeehaw i guess. i don’t have any pictures though because i’m depressed So yep :) i’m going to make a list of changes to the original pattern that have taken place thus far

changes to paper pattern

✰ the flares were turned straight leg by making a hypotenuse (?) connecting where the side seam first begins to curve in and the bottom hem

✰ the front and back were changed from two pieces each to one (like a ... normal .... pair of ... pants .......)

✰ the pattern was graded from a size six at the waist to a size twelve at the hips cause a bitch is most certainly Not proportional ;)

✰ the patch pocket was elongated so i can actually put things in it

✰ the waistband was turned from a front and back piece to one total piece that will be cut on the fold (but i’ll probably change it back)

✰ maybe other things i’m forgetting ? i think that’s it though

changes to muslin pattern

✰ two big ol darts were added to the front and back pieces. the darts will not be in the final i just needed the pants to be significantly smaller. i’m already kind of regretting not doing pleats but Oh Well I Guess

✰ i darted the waistband too just to make the slope more intense so it would fit me

✰ at some point i’ll have to alter the pocket to be narrower so it stays proportional but i’ll figure it out 

also i’m Pissed because mood just released a pattern that’s literally exactly what i need and it would have saved literal h o u r s of effort but whatever we all die eventually

i guess now i’ll make these damn pants pattern matching wooOOoOOOo i have no experience in that and am Definetly going to fuck something up

6:53 pm || someone please tell me why this glorified pair of pyjama pants is more time consuming then literally any gown i’ve ever made .... pattern matching is going Great thanks for asking

9:07 pm || okay things are actually kind of Going now .. once all the making the pattern and painstakingly matching everything up work is done everything goes really fast. i’ve sewed up the front and back rises, as well as cut out the pockets (matching the pattern Of Course), hem the lil hole thing where you put your hand in (?? the opening ?? is that what you meant ???) and pressed everything because only losers don’t press their seams. i still don’t have pictures because Not Enough Has Been Done and also they still look like dumb pyjamas ksksksjfj it’s cool though. so now i’m going to sew the pockets on and the side and inseams up !!!!!! if you really want Real directions of how to make these ... i recommend the mood website or just .. your pre-existing pant making knowledge .......

10:36 pm || i’m still not done with these fucking pants ...... i need to make the waistband (which i’ve been procrastinating on), sew up the other side seam and put in the zipper then hem it all it doesn’t sound like a lot but i have a feeling it will take me to one am at the rate i’ve been going

1:11 am || ha ha ha ha ahaa im at a place in my life where i’m Refusing to sleep until these pants are done mcfUCK WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG anyway a progress update i even have a whole two pictures ..!..... so i pussied out of making a waistband that was all one piece and ended with a front and back because i’m a coward. i did my best to line up the vertical stripes on the pants with the waistband not that you can tell from this picture why did i even take this it’s boring and stupid

but yeah that’s how the pants have been for hours now .. sewn at the rises and one (1) side seam. for the waistband i made a front and back, cut two of each, sewed at the top, pressed, pressed the bottom edge in by some amount no idea how much, pinned onto the pants and s e w e d mothefucker !!!!!!!!!! 

i ended up ripping my one sewn side seam open part way to jam my zipper in (which i did with the baste, pin zipper, topstitch, undo basting method) and then sewed up the other side seam !!! and yeah that’s it

now all that’s left is sewing the inseam and hemming and they will f i n a l l y be done dfghjklkjhgf

2:01 am || okay so they’re still not done and i know i promised i wouldn’t sleep until they were but i’m afraid i’ll do something impulsive to them if i keep going tonight so i’m going to call it here. all that’s left is sewing a hook and eye to the side and then figuring out what to do to the bottom hem. it’s quite a bit too long and cuffing it just looks . dumb .. so i need another solution. hence why i’m waiting till the morning. because i am Itching to just c h o p a big ol strip off the bottom

anyway we got pretty far and yeah it doesn’t feel like enough and y e ah i’m disappointed in myself for not going All The Way but we all die eventually so this doesn’t matter

3:56 pm || whats UP motherfuckers these pants are almost D O N E i just finished hemming them so party fuckin HARD .. in the light of the new day i did in fact end up chopping about four inches off the bottom hem because those cuffs looked BAD as FUCK all that’s left on these is to sew a hook and eye in aaaaaAAAaA im so CLOSE ..... originally the plan was to make a pair of pants that don’t need a belt so i can wear them in inpatient but they look so good with a belt aaa :( oh well ..... with the chunk i cut off the bottom i’m really considering making a lil bandeau thing because i hate myself We’ll See actually no we won’t i don’t need more work we’re calling it at the pants I Have Been Shut Down okay let me sew this hook and eye

4:31 pm || THEY’RE Ḋ̵̥̬̈́͒̓Ỡ̷̦̏̂N̶̨͖͙̹̺̘͎̭͉͔͓̳̲͚̔͆̈́̓̅̒̀̒̅E̶̡̧̬̲̙̼̙̜͈͍̒̍̐͂͂́̆͗̊̕͘ i’m gonna take a lil video of them for my instagram and also just to see if i can .. i’ll also post it here but in a seperate post and y e a h .. oh Also i made a lil headband out of one of the pant scraps o h ans a l s o did i mention that these HELL PANTS are D O N E ??????̸̢̝̟͙̹̣͕̰̥͉͎̱̥̾̆̒̾͂͜?̶̡̧̳̗̜͈̭̮̠͕̯̝͐̓̒̿̔̏̿͗̎̐͂͘͜͠?̵̪͓͚̭͙̙͎̏͗̈̔̽͆̅͑?̷̧̬̣̠̞̙̃̔̚͜ that is all thank you

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

> Karkat: Open M-to-tha-izzemo.

CCG RIZZLE NOW openizzle mizzay on board FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY.

CCG: HIZZEY FUTIZZLE ME, WHAT D-YA T-H-TO-THA-IZZINK ABOUT DIS EXPLODED JADEBOT BUSINESS? CCG: MUST BE HO-SLAPPIN' REALLY MISSION CRITICAL, OR JADE W-TO-THA-IZZOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED CLOCKIN' 'N TOUCH WIT US, RIGHT? CCG: SUM-M SUM-M IMPERATIVE TA OUR SURVIVAL NO DOUBT? CCG: HEY DOUCHE BAG, BE YOU THERE 

??? gardenGnostic [?GG] AT ?:?? responded ta mizzy. 

?GG dogg: oh jeez, why be i doing dis ?GG: Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. this be so stupid! 

CCG: PIZZY DOWN HARLEY, DIS PRACTICALLY D-TO-THA-IZZOESN'T IZZLE CONCERN YOU AT DIS PIZZY 

?GG: bluhhh Y-to-tha-izzoure so funnizzle!!!!! 

CCG: NUTTIN TO SIZZY, FUTIZZLE ME? It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. CCG: NOT EVEN A FIZZEW GANG BANGIN' WIZZY OF SCORN FO` ME OR THA NARCOLEPTIC IDIOT? Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. CCG: IT'S B-TO-THA-IZZEEN A WHIZZILE SINCE WIZZY SPARRED, HIZZAY I'VE MISZE' THE SWIZNEET ST'N OF YO' BIZZARBS 

?GG: be you enjoy'n yoself kizzle? 

CCG: HIZZLE YOU BE SO DUMB YIZZAY ACTUALLY TIZZY DIS BE A RUZE. CCG: YOU COME AIZZY DIS WAY N YOU SIZZY DON'T GIT THAT ALL THA S-H-TO-THA-IZZIT WIZZAY BIZZEEN CRUISIN' YOU 'BOUT BE REAL. CCG: WHIZZLE THIZZE FIZZY WOULD I BE PULL'N A STIZZLE LIZNIKE DIS, WHIZNAT A WIZZASTE OF TIME. CCG: I REALLIZZLE BE CRACK-A-LACKIN` TA FUTURE ME, HE'S JUST BEIN AN EVIZZLE TOO'. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. 

?GG fo' real: well obviously i know some frontin' youve said are true ?GG: its jizzy H-to-tha-izzard ta takes crack-a-lackin` at fizzle value wizzy youre always so nasty! 

CCG: YOU KIZZY, IT REALLIZZLE AMAZ'N HOW BEHIND THA TIMES YOU BE. CCG: IT ALMIZZLE AS IF YOU SLEPT THROUGH DIS WHOLE ADVENTIZZLE CCG: OH WIZZAIT, THAT BE ESSENTIALLY TRUE. CCG: IT WAS HILARIOUS WATCHING YIZNOU GROW UP. CCG: YOU TIZZY YOU HAD ALL THA ANSWA, FROLICK'N ALL OVA YO' ISLAND BEIN INFURIATINGLY CHIPPA, BUILD'N ROBO-BUNNIES LIZZAY A MORON N ULTIMATELY BUSTIN' EVERYTHING. CCG bitch ass nigga: YOU WERE SO SIZNURE YO' DREAMS TOLD YOU EVERYTH'N YOU NEEDIZZLE TA KNOW. CCG: N NOW LOOK AT YOU CCG fo yo bitch ass: YOU SUDDENLY UNDERSTAND JACK SHIT. 

?GG: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. ok i understand that you be shot calla grizzoup of playas n yizzle be 'n siznome siznort of trouble ?GG: Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. but mizzay if yizzle had been funky ass ta me instead of terroriz'n me all thoze years i would have believed you ?GG: Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. n we could have worked togetha ta solve yo' problems as well as ours ?GG: it just makes me sad to think T-H-to-tha-izzats probablizzle impossible now coz yizzle be so angry n stubborn! 

CCG with my forty-fo' mag: DON'T TIZZELL ME WHAT IMPOSSIBLE COZ I'M ANGRY AND STUBBORN. CCG: I CRUISIN' KNIZZOW W-H-TO-THA-IZZAT THOZE ASSETS MAKE POSSIBLE. CCG: THEY MADE YIZZOU POSSIBLE, GOTS IT like old skool shit??? 

?GG: uh huh 

CCG with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back D-YA EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA HIZNOW LUCKY YOU BE TA BE GRACED BY MAH DIVINE FURY? CCG: TA HAVE THA PRIVILEGE OF TRIPPIN' TA BE STUDY N MOCKED BY ME FO` YO' WHIZZLE PATHETIC MISERABLE LIFE? CCG: D-YA REALIZZLE I'M YO' GIZNOD? Tru niggaz do niggaz. YES, YO' LITERAL GOD, THAT RIGHT. 

?GG sho nuff: sure karkat, whateva yizzle sizzy! Death row 187 4 life. 

CCG: N I HAVE TAKEN TIME OUT OF MAH BUSY GODLY SCHEDIZZLE TO SCRUTINIZE YO' PIZZLE EXISTENCE. CCG: OUT OF THA COUNTLESS TRILLIONS OF LIZZLE FIZZAY I BROUGHT INTO REALITY THROUGH ANGRY GRUBFUCK POWA ALONE, I HAVE SELIZZLE YIZZAY FOR EXAMINATION N HARASSMENT. CCG: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. PERSONALLIZZLE I THINK THAT WARRANTS A SHAWTY GRATITUDE, N JIZZY MAYBE, A BIT OF DEFERENCE. CCG: A CURTSY, PERHAPS? CCG: BUT YEAH GO AHEEZEE AND KIZZAY BLOW'N ME OFF LIZNIKE THA FLAKEY SHAWTY TIZZY YIZZOU BE. 

FUTIZZLE carcinoGenizzle [FCG] 3 HOURS FROM NOW responded ta miznemo. 

FCG to increase tha peace: HEY DON'T RAP TA HA LIKE THAT YOU IZZLE PIECE OF SHIT. FCG so jus' chill: DIS BE REFLECT'N POORLIZZLE ON BOTH OF US, IT GODDAMNED EMBARRASSING. 

CCG: OH WOW, ANOTHA MIRACLE. CCG: IT MIZZY BE PERIGEES EVE, COZ GET A LOAD OF DIS HUGE BEHEMOTH LEAV'N THAT JIZZY GOTS DRAGGE' 'N. CCG: J-TO-THA-IZZADE, OIZZY DUTY BE CLEAR. WE MUST DECK DIS TURD TA THE NINES. 

FCG: OH MAH GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTIZZLE THOUGHT THAT WIZZLE A CLEVA TH'N TA SAY. WHIZNAT A DIPSHIT. 

?GG: aaauugh what tha hell!!! 

FCG: JIZZAY, I'M SORRY 'BOUT PAST MIZNE'S RETARDED BEHAVIOR. FCG: I'M NOT GO'N TA DRIZNAG OUT A HUGE APOLOGIZZLE OR NOTHIN' TRIPPIN' COZ I ALREADY APOLOGIZE' 'N AN BROTHA CONVERSATION, OK. I'M JIZZAY LETT'N YOU KNOW. 

CCG: GIZZY DAMMIZZLE, BE YIZZLE SERIZZLE? CCG: I MEAN, BE I SERIOUS????? CCG: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. WIZZILL I BE SERIOUS 'BOUT DIS SHIT. WILL I R-E-A-DOUBLE-LIZZY BACK DIZZAY LIKE A LIZZAY FRONDED STOOGE? PLEAZE TELL ME YOE JOKING. 

FCG keep'n it real yo: PLEAZE, JUST FCG yeah yeah baby: SHUT UP FCG: I CIZZY BELIEVE I EVA THIZZAY FIZZLE ME WIZNAS THA STUPID ONE FCG: PAST ME BE THA DUMBEST BUCKIZZLE OF FESTER'N DISCHARGE I EVA FELL ASS BACKWARDS INTO. FCG: CIZZY ON, YOU KNOW DIS TA BE TRUE. SHOT CALLA ALL THA PIZZAY USZES WE UZE' TA RAP TA?? FCG: THIZZAY WIZNERE EVEN PASTA THAN YOU, N THEREFORE DUMBER. 

CCG: YIZZLE, I REMEMBA ALL THOZE DUMBSHIT PAST USZES, BUT THEY DIZZY HOLD A SAGGIN' JACKASS CANDLE TA FUTURE USZES. CCG: N YOE THA FUTUREST ME I EVA HIZZAY THA CROTCH BLISTER'N MISFORTUNE OF BUSTIN' WIT, SO THA FUCKHEEZEE TRIZZLE GOES TA YOU. CCG: I MEAN, MAH GOD, WHY. CCG: BE PROXIMITY TA THAT NASTY LOOK'N SPACETIME RIP ON THA TIMELINE SAGGIN' WIT YO' HEEZEE? CCG: BE THIZZAY WHAT CAUSING YOU TA FEEL PITY FO` DIS IMBECILE?

FCG like this and like that and like this and uh: LOOK, JADE NOT THIZZAY BAD OK. FCG: YOU JIZZY GOTS TOO WORKED UP, N YOU CAN'T SEE THAT. FCG with my forty-fo' mag: N NOW ALL DIS FROTH'N PANDIZZLE SAGGIN' OUT OF YO' MOUTH BE JUST RIDICIZZLE OVERCOMPENSATION FO` YOUR OWN RIDIN' N MISTAKES, N MASK'N SIZNOME FEEL'N YOE NIZZLE REALLY 'N TOUCH WITH. FCG: DIS BE ALL SO OBVIZZLE, I'M FLUSH'N LIKE A MOTHERFUCKA 'N EMBARRASSMENT GANG BANGIN' TA IZZLE IT TA YOU, N EVEN WORZE, STEPPIN' BLINGIN' IT EXPLAINED TA ME BY THA SMART ONE THREE HOURS AGO N STIZZILL ACT'N LIKE A MOIST GLIZZAY EVEN AFTA BEIN SO SIZZLE SCHOOLFED. 

CCG: I D-TO-THA-IZZON'T BIZZLE DIS. PLEAZE TELL ME DIS BE A JOKE. 

FCG: YOU SIZZLE SO YOSELF, WE DON'T JIZZLE AROUND. IT JUVENILE, REMEMBER. 

CCG: I'M RHYMIN' TA VOMIT. CCG: Chill as I take you on a trip. I'M RIDIN' A MENTAL NOTE TO SLAP MYSIZZLE THRIZZAY HOURS FROM NOW, FO` BEIN ENOUGH OF A SAP TA STIZNART DEVELOP'N RED FEEL'N FO` A DUMB DIPPIN' HUMAN, IF I'M READ'N BETWEEN THA LINES CORRECTLY. 

FCG: I JUST SLAPPED MYSELF! Boo-Yaa! I REMEMBERED MAH LAME NIZZAY TA MYSELF FRIZZAY THREE HIZZLE AGO, AIZZY THEN SLAPPED MYSELF SPECIFICIZZLE TA MOCK YOU. FCG: IT PERPETRATIN' TOO, YIZZOU'LL FEEL IT 'N A WHILE. N THIZNEN THA G-H-TO-THA-IZZOST OF PAST ME WILL CRY. FCG: PAST ME DIZNOESN'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. HE A STUPIZZLE BAWL'N WIGGLA PHANTOM. HE DIZZEAD, NOT A REAL HOMEY ANYMORE, L-TO-THA-IZZIKE ME. FCG thats off tha hook yo: I'M THA RIZZAY ONE. YOE FAKE, A SHADOW OF A SAD MEMORY T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT PISZE' ITS PANTS WHILE SCREAMING. FCG with the S-N-double-O-P: TIZZY TA DEAL WIT IT. 

CCG bizzle FCG frizzay respond'n ta memo. Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. 

FCG unbanned hizzle from ridin' ta mizzy. 

FCG banned CCG from rhymin' ta memo. 

CCG unbizzle himself from respond'n to memo. 

?GG: i cant takes dis anymore!!!!!!!! ?GG: i dizzle even kniznow what im read'n hiznere bizzay its preposterous n ive had it! ?GG: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. i be just so angry, i cizzy belizzle i let you push me around all thoze years ?GG: you be completely out of yo' miznind, i wizzy too funky ass by J-to-tha-izzust block'n yizzle n typizzle frowny faces n stuff ?GG: i should H-to-tha-izzave let you HAVE IT! Keep'n it gangsta dogg.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FCG mah nizzle: YIZZES so show some love, niggaz!!!!! FCG: LET DIS FUCKA K-N-TO-THA-IZZOW THA SCIZZORE JADE. DIS BE HOW WE ROLL. 

?GG: SHUT UP!!!!!!! ?GG: future karkat, if yiznou reallizzle be future karkat... It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg.... ?GG puttin tha smack down: where d-ya git off bustin' yizzy cizzay just suddenlizzle act like wizzere pizzy coz you sizzle you apologize'???? ?GG: if yiznou want ta apologize T-H-to-tha-izzen bootylicious i be all ears! but jizzust mention'n it off hand n then mackin' at yoself tha sizzy way you yell at me all tha tizzime as if i nee' a knight to come S-to-tha-izzave me from yoursizzle be so lame, not ta mention completely insizzle ?GG mah nizzle: i cizzay izzle believe tha th'n im typ'n H-to-tha-izzere! It dont stop till the wheels fall off. dis be so stupid, talking ta two of you at once be tha worst th'n imaginable ?GG: yizzle treat everyone horrizzle, even yoself, i cizzy izzle fizzle how awful it is ta be yizzou ?GG: past karkat, yizzy act'n like a bigga jerk thizzay he be n i think you know that! Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. why dont you takes his advice n grizzle up ?GG: as if theres even a real difference between you two. three hours be hardly any time at all, yizzle be tha S-to-tha-izzame person YOU STRAIGHT TRIPPIN' IZZLE! Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up.!!!!!!!! 

CCG: OH SHIT 

FCG, chill yo: YIZZY, THIZZLE WAS BOOTYLICIOUS. WE BOTH HAD IT COMING, ESPECIALLY HIM. BOOTYLICIOUS WIZNORK JADE. 

?GG: stop it!!!! ?GG: ugh, i dont knizzle whats worze, jerk kizzle or goofy sycizzle karkat ?GG: i cant stand it, whether youre try'n ta be funky ass or just bein a crazy izzle, you are jizzust so wizneird!!! ?GG: im through frontin' you, i dont even care 'bout dis stupid exploded rizzle mission, whateva thizzle was 

FCG: OH R-TO-THA-IZZIGHT, 'BOUT THAT FCG: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. YIZZY WE NEED TO RAP FCG: I MEAN WE H-TO-THA-IZZAVE ALREADIZZLE FROM MAH PERSPECTIVE FCG: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. BUT YOE GO'N TA BE REALLY BUSY SIZZLE, COZ YOE 'BOUT TA BALLER YO' SESSION FCG: Drop it like its hot. SO DIZZLE WORRY 'BOUT IT UNTIL YOU DO, THEN JUST HIZNIT ME UP, WE'LL RAP 'BOUT IT 

?GG: hahizzle, FIZZY CHANCE!!!! 

FCG: Nigga get shut up or get wet up. LOOK I KNOW TH'N BE W-TO-THA-IZZEIRD BIZZLE US RIGHT NOW N YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE BUGGIN' with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back FCG: ESPECIALLY AT THAT LOSER. FCG with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back BUT PIMPIN' WILL CHANGE, 'N T-TO-THA-IZZIME YIZZLE SEE I'M NOT QIZZAY SO AWFUL, OK? 

??? turntechgodheezee [ mah nizzle?TG] AT ?:?? respondizzle to memo. 

?TG: ahahahahah oh god ?TG: dizzy i cizzle believe you were just gett'n on our caze 'bout weed-smokin' on tha trizzay gizzle ?TG so you betta run and grab yo glock: n then literally tha very next memo you are slobber'n all killa jade ?TG: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. thats just perfect hahahaha 

CCG banned ?TG aww nah: F-R-to-tha-izzom respond'n ta memo. 

FCG rebanned ?TG, betta check yo self: frizzle ridin' ta memo sho nuff. 

?GG: dave wizzy diznont go! Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. ?GG so jus' chill: yizzle gots ta save me from dis insanizzle  like this and like that and like this and uh:( 

FCG: OH I SEE, NOW YOU COULD UZE A KNIGHT, HIZZY VERIZZLE RHYMIN', HMMM. FCG like this and like that and like this and uh: GIZZLE I CIZZAY WAIT FO` YOU TA BE FUTURE YOU, SLIGHTLY L-TO-THA-IZZESS FUTURE YOU IS SUCH A GOD DIZZLE PIZZILL 

?GG thats off tha hook yo: i cizzay wait fo` future you ta future kiss mah ass! 

CCG: YEAH hittin that booty! THAT WHIZZLE I'M CRACK-A-LACKIN` 'BOUT. 

?GG: i also cant wizzy fo` past yizzay ta past driznop dead and go ta hell, PAST TENZE!!!!!!!! ?GG: W-H-to-tha-izzen be thoze th'n go'n ta happen?? or W-to-tha-izzill hizzay already past/future happened yeah yeah baby????? ?GG: i want ta pizzay anotha pusha on mah finga so i know when its tiznime ta throw a party, chill yo!!!! 

FCG: HAHAHAHA, YIZZLE HEAR TIZZY YOU OBSOLIZZLE PILE OF GARBAGE? J-TO-THA-IZZADE JUST FLIPPED YOU OFF WIT A COLORFUL FINGER. 

CCG so jus' chill: DAWG, SHIZZAY OBVIOIZZLE HATES YOU MORE. SHE CIZZLE YIZZAY A SYCOPHANT WHIZZICH IS A HUNDRED TIZZLE MIZNORE DESCRIPTIVELY WORZE THIZNAN JUST BEING A RUN OF THA MILL SCUMBAG LIKE ME. CCG: SHE BE TOTALLIZZLE ON TA YOU N HOW DESPICABLE YOU BECOME, CAN YIZZOU BLAME HA FO` HAT'N US? 

FCG: NO, I CAN BLAME YIZZOU, YOE THA ONE WIT NO SHOT CALLA WHO ALL TWISTED UP INSIDE. FCG: HOW DIS FO` A PIZZLE, EVERYBODY. FCG: PIZZLE KARKAT ONLY TALKS TA PIZZAY JADE F-R-TO-THA-IZZOM NIZZLE ON, N THA TWO OF TIZZY CIZZAY BICKA LIZZAY SHITTY SHAWTY CHILDREN FO` HOURS/YIZZLE RESPECTIVELY. FCG: N FIZZLE KARKAT ONLY TALKS TA FUTIZZLE JADE, AN ARRANGEMENT WHIZZLE ONLY INTELLIGIZZLE DISCOURZE TAKES PLIZZACE BETWEEN TIZZY CIVILIZE', MATURE, GROWN ASSED ADULTS. FCG yaba daba dizzle: BE T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT TOO MUCH TA ASK?????? 

?GG: jesizzles will you just bizzy me already???? ?GG: mah heezee hurts so bad now i think im rhymin' ta crizzy 

FCG: MIZZAY YOU SHOULD JIZNUST BAN HER ALREADY N END DIS TORMENT SINCE YIZZLE DRAGGE' HIZZY INTO DIS. 

CCG: FUCK THIZZAT YOU BIZZAN HER. YOE THA ONE WHO SEEMS TA "CIZZY".

FCG: WILL YOU SHUT YO' MOUTH, DAWG THA FIZZLE UP, AND BIZNAN DIS POOR GIZZAY ALREADY? 

?GG: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa XO ?GG like old skool shit: i will just ban myself! Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf.!!! ?GG: Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. *JIZZLE HARLIZZLE BANNIZZLE HERSELF FRIZZAY RESPOND'N TA THA GRUMPY SHIT HEEZEE MISERIZZLE Z-TO-THA-IZZONE, N BE NEVA COM'N BIZNACK* ?GG: pchooooooooizzle 

[?GG] ceaze' respond'n to mizzemo. 

FCG: OK, THERE. SHE GONE. FCG: MAYBE NOW YOU GIT IT. FCG: HOW HIDEOUS EVERYONE THIZZLE YOU BE, MAYBE YOU'LL FINALLY STOP FUCK'N EVERYTH'N UP. 

CCG: Holla! HIZZUH 

FCG ridin' in mah double R: WHAT 

CCG: I THINK CCG: I WAS PROBABLY WRONG 'BOUT J-TO-THA-IZZADE CCG: SHE A SHAWTY LIZZESS LAME THAN I THOUGHT 

FCG: SHHHHSHHSHSHSHSH FCG: SHE CAN STIZZILL READ DIS YIZZAY STUPID FIZZUCK FCG: NOW NIZZLE THA T-TO-THA-IZZIME TA OPEN YIZZAY VIZNEINS N WRITE PIZZY 'BOUT YIZZAY FEEL'N 

CCG mah nizzle: FIZZAY YOU, I'M JUST VOIC'N A HARMLESS OBSERVATION OK CCG: IT NIZZY MAH BUSINIZZLE IF SOME LIZZUNK HEEZEE 'N THA FUTURE GETS CARRY IZZLE WIT SHOT CALLA SHAWTY THOUGHTS I MAY OR MIZZAY NOT NIZZLE BE PIMPIN' 

FCG: I... FCG cuz its a doggy dog world: BIZNUT FCG: HOW COULD THAT EVEN BE A REAL TH'N I TYPED THREE H-TO-THA-IZZOURS AGO, HOW CIZNOULD I BE DIS STUPID. FCG ridin' in mah double R: WE BE JIZZUST THA DUMBEST FUCKA WHO HUSTLA LIVED AREN'T WE. 

CCG: SPEAK FO` YOSELF. 

FCG: I DON'T EVEN HAVE THA ENERGY TA BAN US. FCG: I'M JIZZUST LEAVING. 

[FCG] ceaze' weed-smokin' to memo. 

CCG: YEAH 

[CCG] ceaze' respond'n to memo.

> J-to-tha-izzade: Consult crazy ass nigga.