#rightfully so but. i cant really leave the house much rn so i can't deal with their very reasonable schedules
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I hate Wednesday nights now
#ive become extroverted as a coping mechanism i think#bc when im around people im not thinking about my problems as much generally#or im able to repress my feelings in order to be pleasant which is why i withdraw when its bad - can't mask with no energy#anyway the point is everyones always busy wednesdays#rightfully so but. i cant really leave the house much rn so i can't deal with their very reasonable schedules#fuck! i hope to god basically lying low and focusing on healing this semester is enough#because i really must start a job search for after i move soon.. and then it will be fall and ill have to actually DO that job 🤮#scout talks high#the point is im so nonfunctional rn and have been for so long that the thought of being fully good is basically totally foreign to me#but god i want it not to be this way. i want it so bad. i dont care how hard it is anymore im doing what i have to to get help. its just so#so fucking hard#personal
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