#rewatching it tonight just... GOD they're really in love with each other huh????

[khliorah]

i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about that heckin church scene and i just need to get them out lmao

we know from the script book that aziraphale and crowley haven’t talked to each other in 100 years at that point (ever since crowley asked aziraphale to get him holy water). and then when they’re in the church crowley points out that there’s holy water just... right there. right in the church. no guards. right where he’s standing.

why, in that 100 years, didn’t he just go into a church and get it himself? (i’ll mention having other people get it for him in a sec) yes, he would have had to do a ton of maneuvering in order to actually get it, but he definitely could have done it. is it because going into a church hurts him? we know that it does (‘like being at the beach in bare feet’); like walking on hot sand. it hurts the sensitive parts of your soles when you do that, the parts of you that haven’t been calloused enough to deal with the pain.

but he goes into the church and he hurts himself... to save aziraphale??? even after 100 years of not talking. and in the script book it mentions that aziraphale thought that they weren’t friends anymore, so it’s safe to assume that crowley probably thought the same. and yet he went anyway. he pushed through the insecurity and pain anyway.

so yeah, crowley goes into the church and performs a miracle for aziraphale, and he still wants the holy water after all these years, not because he wants insurance in the sense that aziraphale thinks. not because crowley is going to use it to destroy himself. but because crowley knows without a doubt that he will always and forever, as long as he possibly can, try his hardest to protect aziraphale and keep him out of trouble. and he needs to be prepared when someone comes after him because of it.

that’s why he needs the holy water so badly and that’s why 20+ years later he’s getting a ragtag group of people together to steal some for him. he’s desperate for it but he’s also not willing to put himself in unnecessary danger unless it’s... for aziraphale. and that’s why it’s so shocking to him when aziraphale produces it for him. because deep down he knows that aziraphale would also do anything to protect him. (isn’t that why aziraphale is always saying that this or that would destroy him with concern and horror in his voice? (because he also means that it would destroy him if crowley got hurt because of him)) 

aziraphale wasn’t refusing him the holy water because he was being uppity, he was refusing it because he was afraid that it would take crowley away from him forever.

and it’s with that realization that crowley propels himself into trying to keep aziraphale with him in the bentley as long as possible. and aziraphale says that he goes too fast for him because he’s scared and he hasn’t completely come to terms with what they’re becoming, together (although at that point he is absolutely sure that he’s in love with crowley in some sense. that shit at the end of the church scene with the fuckin miracled books and the romantic music starting up was ABSOLUTELY aziraphale realizing the depth of his feelings for crowley.)

okay and this part is like. devastatingly important to me. in the script book, once aziraphale gets out of the car and is standing and looking after it as crowley drives away with the holy water, it mentions that we’re supposed to be seeing a neon light lighting aziraphale’s head from behind ‘like a halo’... ‘blinking on and off again’... his halo blinking on and off, because he’s struggling between his desires as his own person and his sense of duty to the divine, ineffable plan. because crowley has made him see, throughout the years, culminating in the church scene, that not everything is completely black and white. that he isn’t totally good and crowley isn’t totally evil, that there’s a little bit of good and a little bit of evil in everyone on both sides. and that him and crowley are probably more towards the human side of things, but with love being the major driving force for everything.

okay also like... i need to talk a little bit about how the end of the third episode’s cold opening would have been the most perfect way to tie in what terry pratchett wanted (and what they were supposed to make) the theme for any adaptation to be: everyday by buddy holly

everyday, it’s a-getting faster

everyone said ‘go ahead and ask her’

love like yours will surely come my way

(picture me sobbing)