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erixyin · 2 years ago

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Posion Running Through My Veins | Part 2

Well, here's part 2. Enjoy because it's gonna be a bumpy ride! Extra-long chapter - technically two chapters combined into one. Hope you like it

A lot is going on and I don't know how I'm gonna end things, but I don't need to think about that until the next part. Oh boi let's get angsty. This is a heavy Billy Hargrove chapter and also the reader is a singer and songwriter. Reader has written most of the original songs that Corroded Coffin play. It's a long one because I felt like rambling and spoiling you all since it will probably be a bit of a wait until the next update. I don't think three parts is going to be long enough.

I'm sorry it's so bad but I needed something to fill between the last chapter and the gig on Friday. It's not kicking off yet but it's going to. I'm so sorry for the angst.

Tag list: Please let me know if you want to be added in the future!

@sidthedollface2, @yaskna, @ancheyew, @samurai-hearts, @bucky-hydra-hoe-barnes,

Song used: This Love by Taylor Swift

Summary: Billy confronts and comforts you after your fight with Eddie. Reader puts her feelings into a song. Tensions continue to brew about who the song is about. Robin and Steve are worried.

Warnings: crying, mentions of trauma. fem!reader, reader uses she/her pronouns, possessive!eddie, eddie muson x reader, billie hargrove x reader, past relationship with billy hargrove, reader basically has a mental breakdown through her music, mentions of injury, violent and hot tempers, sorry for the long descriptive paragraphs i can't help myself, lmk if I've forgotten anything.

Words: 5003

No minors allowed please and thank you

Please do not repost anywhere. I will be posting on my AO3 account and linking it here.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

"Hi Billy."

He let go of your waist and gave you a boyish grin. It was playful and soft. Not many people saw this side to him. Especially after everything that went down.

You breathe an exhausted sigh. This really isn't what you needed right now after the fight. Your emotions still tight inside your chest. Feeling like you were about to spill over at any second.

You walked past him, hoping he'd get the hint that you wanted to be alone. No such luck. Instead, he kept up pace beside you. Eyes trained on you, your face and you saw him frown slightly at the sight of your other hand trying to cover up the bruise on your wrist that was starting to turn black and purple.

"You finally moved out, huh?" he finally asked. It was phrased as a question, but it felt more like a statement. A reflection on what he had missed while he had been under treatment. Maybe he had heard from Max that you had moved out into your own trailer. Maybe they had driven passed your uncle's house, since it was on the way to the trailer park. Or maybe Billy just knew that after everything that went down last summer, you had to get your life sorted and do what was best for you.

"I... yeah" you stumbled over your words. Exhaustion and pain on your shoulders and you were still winded by the swirl of emotions you had felt in the past few hours.

Billy held you gently by the shoulder, noticing the way you bit your lip at discomfort, before dropping his hand. He stopped in front of you. You were now far enough away from Eddie's trailer that you could start to breathe properly again. You looked back and saw the lights still on.

When you turned back to Billy, the bad boy appearance had temporarily dropped, and he pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He took one out and slotted it in his mouth, then offered you the packet. "I still don't smoke" you said, looking up at him, a twinkle in your eyes.

"I know." His smile was so goofy and friendly that the cigarette almost fell out of his mouth. Words no one else wouldeverhave the guts to describe Billy Hargrove as. His smile grew as you took one out of the packet without another word, a small smile creeping onto your face.

He reached into his back pocket for his lighter. Black covered with doodles of hot pink flames. "I cannot believe you still have it" you raised your eyebrows at him as you leant towards him to light your cigarette. He cupped his hands around the tip to ensure it was lit. He shrugged, not giving you the satisfaction of an answer as he lit his own. Chuckling, you took a long drag of the cigarette. Coughing slightly as the smoke filled your lungs. "Damn I have not done this in a while" you managed to splutter out, choosing to completely ignore the look of pure amusement on Billy's face.

Both of you sit on the table of the wooden bench just outside your trailer. You breathed deeply. The peaceful silence settling in as the stars started to wake up and take their spotlight next to the moon. This was something you had missed. You loved Eddie with everything you had but every moment with him was loud or talkative. You never had a moment where you could just sit together and be comfortable in each other's silence. But then equally, you couldn't as easily talk about things with Billy. It was always a struggle for him to reveal his true emotions. Even with Neil gone, so much had happened last summer. The things he had done, the things that had happened to him. You knew him opening up would be even rarer than before.

"Your boyfriend give you those bruises?" Billy asked, staring straight ahead of him. Of course he noticed you inwardly groaned to yourself.

"He's not usually like this. We just had a bad fight, that's all." You took another long drag, watching the embers of your cigarette butt float off into the air. Looking down at your wrist you gently smoothed over the bruise, sucking in a sharp breath when you did. It was worse than you had thought. Muttering a "fuck" under your breath, you blinked sharply trying to ignore the pain. Your hand shivering slightly as you brought the cigarette to your lips. You didn't want to even think about the bruise Eddie had, in fairness probably accidently, left on your shoulder from the parking lot.

"Was it about me?" he asked, still staring ahead. Eyes unwavering from wherever he was looking. You couldn't read his emotion from the side. If your brain hadn't been so tired, maybe you would have spotted the direction the conversation was going in. Biting your lip, you had no reason to lie to him. But at the same time the emotions you through you had calmed down, threatened to spill over once again. When you said nothing, he just nodded and let out a deep sigh. "He gets like this a lot when he gets mad?" Billy had a way of making his questions sound more like statements of fact. It made it difficult to argue with him, but it also made you face the ugly truth quicker.

"No, he's not like this usually. It's his dad he-" you cut yourself off, not wishing to tell Billy Eddie's trauma just like that. It wasn't your place. "He just lost his temper alright." Standing up you took the cigarette out of your mouth and stamped it out on the ground, ready to leave this conversation. Running away again you heard your voice inside your head, how typical. Shaking your head slightly you pushed the thoughts to the back of your mind.

"Doll" you let him take hold of your non-bruised wrist. Not with the same painful grip Eddie had had on you, but something gentler, still firm. "You and I both know that shitty fathers aren'tan excuse" he looked at you, his icy blue eyes staring into yours.

The unwavering eye contact between someone you know wasn't going to back down, made you finally crack. The first tear fell down and then then the second, and then before you knew it you were crying your eyes out in front of your ex-boyfriend Billy Hargrove. You allowed yourself to lean into his touch as he held you like he did before in the parking lot. Except this time with him sitting down on the bench still, so you could lean into his neck and let him engulf you into a tighter hug.

You stayed their crying silently. The fear from the car ride, the flashbacks of Eddie yelling at you and hitting the steering wheel, the pain on your wrist and the feeling of being trapped. It was all too much for you to keep locked away. Even after everything that had happened to you with the Upside Down, almost losing your ex-boyfriend and the fear of it all coming back again. You thought you could handle relationship drama. You certainly could handle everyone else's, even Steve who was trying to date every single girl in the state.

"I'm sorry" your muffled apology, while Billy just held you. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to. He was better at showing his emotions through actions rather than words. He shushed you gently as you kept trying to apologise as you tried to silence your sobs.

You eventually pushed against him, pulling yourself up and out of the hug. You were about to apologise again, but Billy got up from the bench and put his hand on your chin. His thumb gently grazed your lips, in a gentle attempt to stop the apology from escaping. It fucking worked because it took you a heartbeat longer than necessary for your brain to start working again.

"You need sleep, my girl" he let his hold on your chin linger for a little longer and then added, "And if he hurts you again, you let me know" this time his eyes were serious. You looked at him eyes wide, "I won't hurt him, not until he does it after the warning" he smiled at the end and so did you. Part of you thought he was joking but deep down you knew Billy would kill Eddie if things got too out of hand. He was gentler after everything that had gone down, more in control of his actions. But he still had a long way to go. You knew that more than anyone.

You wiped your eyes and smiled a goodbye as you headed into your trailer. Looking back to give him a small barely audible, "See you tomorrow" something that you usually said to Eddie if you couldn't spend the night at his. You didn't think much of it, Billy knew what you meant, and you went inside and locked up. Ready to have a long night sleep, drained from crying and the emotional rollercoaster you'd been on today.

He lit another cigarette with the black and pink lighter and blew smoke up in the air as he stared directly at the trailer you had come from, the lights still on, a figure in the window. Billy smirked and got in his severely beat up car, it roared as he drove away.

Looking out your window one last time as you heard the car speed off, the lights in Eddie's trailer now off.

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The next morning your head felt heavy, like a hangover or a migraine. The only thing pulling you into the present reminding you that the blur of events yesterday wasn't a fever dream was the smell of smoke on your clothes that you slept in, and the bruises still left on your wrist.

The fight and the words that Eddie has said. rushing back to you but you pushed them down. Not having another mental breakdown, you thought to yourself.

You decided doing the only thing you wanted to do after the fight was to write them all down and maybe turn them into a song. At first, you didn't know what to write. You wanted to do a solo gig or maybe join forces with Robin and Steve on stage, but you hadn't gotten around to figuring it all out. Plus, you didn't know how Eddie would feel about being in two bands, and you definitely didn't want to ask him about it right now.

Maybe after Friday?

Tuning your guitar, you realised you still hadn't called Eddie last night when you had gotten in, and he hadn't called you. "Well, whatever" you muttered to yourself, "he can sweat it a bit after yesterday." It's what he deserved you thought to yourself, but you didn't say it out loud. It felt too mean.

The words starting to flow onto the page and suddenly you were putting chords to paper, playing it and then reworking it with the song.

You grimaced as you looked at the time and realised that you had already missed first period. "Fuck!" You groaned shoving your notebook into your bag and your guitar into its case. This was gonna be a fucking awkward day and there was no getting around it. Looking at the sky, it was thankfully overcast which meant you could wear long sleeves, and no one would notice. Well actually...you thought to yourself before you smacked yourself into gear and shoved a fresh band t-shirt on and the jeans you were wearing yesterday. Shoving your shoes into your docs you darted out to your car.

Locking the door behind you, you heard a roar of a car engine behind you. You saw Billy in his torn up black car, with somehow a working engine. You hesitated. With his driving you could get to school and not miss too much of second period but at the same time if Eddie saw you pull up... It could get ugly. You looked behind his car and saw that Eddie's van was already gone so you couldn't have asked him for a lift even if it had crossed your mind.

But the decision had been made for you when you realised if you were late another time the school would call your folks andthatwas a situation you did not want.

Billy saw you hesitating at your door and the engine roared louder, as if an invitation to get in.

You gently put your guitar in first and then yourself, sitting your backpack on your lap. "Someone's eager to get to school, or maybe you just missed me so much since yesterday." He winked at you, and you just scowled. You were really not a morning person, and you didn't want to give hm the satisfaction of a response.

"Billy just fucking drive" you rolled your eyes and fastened your seatbelt. Billy just nodded and drove, like a fucking maniac, but you were right. You did get into school before the end of second period.

The drive was silent, you were thankful for that, after the last one didn't go so well. You didn't even ask if Max had already gotten to school, you hoped you hadn't just pinched her ride without even thinking of her.

When you got out the car you gave Billy a quick "Thanks!" Before you dashed in, really hoping that not too many people clocked that you had just gotten a lift to school by the Billy Hargrove.

Making it to second period, thankfully it was music so you, Robin and Steve could do fuck all and sit in one of the little music rooms and just chill. The teacher seemed confused that you had brought your own guitar with you but then couldn't be bothered to ask why so let you three go without a word. "I want to see you perform your creation at the end though!" Mr Bradley called after the three of you basically ran to one of the tiny music rooms.

"Can I copy your notes from Chemistry? I slept in" You asked the room, but it was for Robin. You knew Steve was going to ask the same thing because even though he had been there, he was focusing on other things.

"Only if you have a song that you can perform at the end of this class. Because I am not having Mr Bradley fucking harass me after band with 'when are you going to perform the song you've been working on for weeks' okay? I'm not going through that again." Steve walked over with his tambourine ready and your guitar on your lap and Robin being the musical genius she was able to play the everything.

Reaching into your notebook you pulled out the song you were writing. "Yeah, I have a few things" you said, flicking through the pages. A lot of the ones before the one you were writing this morning were mostly for Corroded Coffin, the one this morning was laced with pain and all the emotions you were trying to get rid of. You saw Steve trying to peak over at the words, but you held the book tighter to your chest. Giving you a confused look, since you were never too secretive with these two about what you were writing, you gave a half-hearted excuse of, "It's not completely finished yet."

"Can I tambourine to it though?" Steve here asking the important questions. You nodded before checking back to read over your rush of notes and then gave a hand gesture equivalent to 'I'm not sure?' "I'll just have to incorporate my genius another way then." He moved his hair with his hand dramatically and you chuckled. You could always trust Steve to lighten the mood.

You knew he was trying to cheer you up. Since neither of them had heard from you after you got into Eddie's van yesterday, they assumed it wasn't good. You knew Steve was trying to dance around the question. But Robin wouldn't be able to hold it in for much longer.

And like clockwork, "So what happened last night?" Robin asked. You shrugged, not really wanting to get into it now since you had only just started to feel better. The negative emotions that had finally started to escape you were now slowly burrowing their way back in.

"Hey, what happened? I know that Billy dropped Max off at the trailer park. Did he see you? What's wrong?" Robin further pressed. You knew she wasn't trying to pry; she was just worried about you. You let out a small 'ow' when she placed her hand on your wrist, attempting to comfort you. Shrinking away when she heard your small noise of pain.

"Show me" Steve said instantly, in his parent tone. You knew there was no arguing around this one. You reluctantly pulled up your sleeve to reveal the purple, green and black bruise bound around your wrist. You heard Robin gasp and Steve looked like he was ready to kill someone with the tambourine he was holding.

"Who did this to you?" Steve was standing, pacing around the small room. You shook your head. You really didn't want to talk about this right now. All of the pain and worry seeping back into your mind that you had tried to push away, to write away, it was now coming back. "Wait you said Billy was at the trailer park, right?" He looked at Robin and Robin was wide eye. You continued to shake your head, but Steve ignored it. "You can't defend him forever y/n! He's a dangerous guy! You saw what he did to all those people last summer!" Steve went for the door, and you blocked him instantly. Putting your hands up to try and calm him down. Robin looking in-between you two, clearly struggling with what she should do. "He's dangerous, and he's not going to change! Look at what he did to you!" Steve was now practically yelling, and you were trying desperately to quieten him. "The first thing he does when he gets out of hospital is to try and drive a wedge in your new relationship and physically hurts you." Steve finally put down the tambourine. "I won't stand for it. You don't deserve that." His voice lower but still firm and seething with disappointment and disgust.

He pulled out his car keys and gently tried to remove you from in front of the door. You, still shaking your head, trying to form words in your mouth but all that came out were panicked breaths. "Steve calm down, this isn't helping" Robin pushed Steve out the way and put her hands on your arms. "Look at me, tell me what's wrong. We just want to know what happened." She could see that you were physically trying to stop yourself from shaking, on the verge of a mental breakdown.

You let out a strangled sob as you looked into Robin's eyes. You looked to Steve, seeing the anger was gone he was more concerned for you. Then in a very small voice you managed to stutter out, "It was Eddie" and then you buried your face into your hands.

Robin pulled you into a hug and let you cry into her. She looked at Steve and mouthed 'Eddie?' and Steve nodded. Both of them stunned by the fact that it had been Eddie to injure you like this, not the only guy to match and overpower Steve in a fight.

With no malice, but firmly enough you wiped your tears and your snotty nose on your sleeves, pushing away from Robin. Proceeding to sit back down on the chair you had been previously. You put your guitar on your lap and pulled out your pen and notebook. "Please, can we just focus on music right now. I don't wanna discuss this anymore."

You refused to look at them both and eyes planted on the lyrics you had written this morning, more of them coming to mind. Steve was the first one to pick up his tambourine and went, "So what am I doing again?" and let out his best warm smile. You returned it, yours a little sadder as you strummed your guitar absentmindedly.

Robin carefully sat down on the table behind you, managing to sneak a glance at the words written in your notebook whilst you weren't looking. "We got 15 minutes left and then we are gonna rock Mr Bradley's world!" she said it with a forced laugh. The negative feelings crushing under the weight of Steve and Robin's attempts to abide by your wishes and just have a good time. You loved them with all your heart.

"So, I was thinking if you harmonise with me on this note-"

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You ended up telling Mr Bradley that you would perform the song at lunch time, since you needed a little longer to rehearse and perfect it. It was really because you had a free period before lunch and Steve was making both of you laugh at his tambourine slapping hip swaying additions to his performance. Sometimes it felt good to just pretend to be regular teens at school, take a break from the reality of everything.

You knew performing at lunch time would mean that you would miss seeing Eddie, since you had no classes that overlapped today. But honestly? That's what you needed right now. A bit of space. Collect your thoughts and focus on your music.

You checked the tuning on your guitar one last time before double checking everything was fine with the instruments. Your anxiety getting the better of you and you just needed one thing to go right today. You could see the people start to gather for lunch time. You wondered if Eddie was already there waiting for you at their signature lunch table.

Shaking your head like an etch-a-sketch, pushing the only important thing to the front of your mind: Robin was on keyboard, bass guitar and backing vocals, Steve was on tambourine, backing vocals and gonna do a cheeky little razzle dazzle. Leaving you on your acoustic guitar and adjusting your mic.

"Well, I'm waiting" Mr Bradley said down below in one of the audience chairs, with a clip board. You sucked in your breath and looked at Robin and Steve. Counting yourself in. Just before you were about to start playing you saw the hellfire kids get to the table. You paused, knowing that Eddie would be on his way soon. Taking a deep exhale, you started playing and Robin and Steve followed suit.

"Clear blue water, high tides came and brought you in" you started singing, your voice wobbly at first until after a couple of beats it sounded more confident, still quiet. You pushed your nerves down. Even after performing at The Hideout so many times in front of your friends and the odd regulars, your anxiety always heated up on stage. It's just me and my friends performing a song in my bedroom was all you thought to yourself as you continued through the verse.

"Skies grew darker, currents swept you out again." you breathed a sigh, "and you were just gone and gone." It felt and sounded so therapeutic to listen to the words you had written down in your state of turmoil and have them sung back to you in a calming, melodic way.

"In silent screams and wildest dreams, I never dreamed of this" you felt the pull on your heart strings as you sang.

It was still only you on the guitar and occasionally Steve's tambourine to keep you in beat. you took a deep breath, ready for the chorus:

"This love is good; this love is bad. This love is alive back from dead, oh" Robin's keyboard joining you with the vocals and it suddenly sounded so beautiful. You never would have guessed that all of this pain could create such a beautiful song.

"These hands had to let it go free and, this love came back to me, oh"

At the exact moment you sung that line, Robin saw Eddie stroll into the cafeteria. She made no indication to you, but she glanced over to Steve, and he gave a subtle nod understanding. Thankfully you were still buried with the music, just focusing on the mic and playing, nothing else.

Then the second verse began:

"Tossing, turning. Struggling through the night with someone new" and if you had been paying attention it was that exact moment that Eddie clocked that you were performing on stage with Steve and Robin. Steve tried to keep his expression calm, but he noticed Robin almost missing her note on that line.

"In losing grip, on sinking ships. You showed up just in time." You now allowed yourself to get louder, ignoring the bustle of the cafeteria and as it got noisier. You just let yourself sing. Allowing those emotions to flow through and out of you and into this song. Unbeknownst to you, Max came and sat in one of the chairs behind your music teacher with her lunch, shortly followed by El, and then the rest of the hellfire kids. An unreadable expression on all of their faces. Finally, Dustin made his way over and sat next to Max. He looked heavily concerned and kept making sharp eye contact with Steve.

You changed up the chorus after the second verse randomly, almost catching Robin and Steve off guard.

"This love left a permanent mark. This love is glowing in the dark. These hands had to let it go free and, this love came back to me, oh."

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the bridge. It felt like you were confessing your feelings for the first time again. Sharing your darkest secrets. But if anyone asked you would say it was just a song and it held no meaning. Even though that wasn'tentirelythe truth.

"Your kiss. My cheek." You blushed but continued, "I watched, you leave. Your smile. My ghost. I fell to my knees." You almost faltered over that last word, but you powered on.

"When you're young, you just run. But you come back, to what you need." You sung that last note with all the power you could muster.

You continued on with the chorus, finishing on "this love came back to me, oh." Finally opening your eyes and allowing it to focus on the audience. You saw the kids all with their lunch on their laps. But your eyes landed on a fluffy haired individual who was leaning against the wall at the back. His eyes on you and you could see thoughts were ticking over in his mind.

Putting down your guitar, you noticed your music teacher looking pleased with your group. "Now that was worth the wait and all the excuses you kept throwing at me; however, I expect to see this kind of effort in every assignment I have for you three from now on." He got up and you saw on his clipboard he had given you all As for this assignment. With that he left, and you could release a breath you didn't even know you were holding.

Sliding off the stage, you were about to head over to Max. Throughout the song she was watching you as if she were listening to all the lyrics properly. As if she knew something else.

But Steve caught your arm and nodded over at Eddie who was only a few steps in front of you now. "Hey sweetheart" he smiled, his usual warm and silly smile. As if all of yesterday evening, hadn't happened. You gave him a small smile back, not yet ready to forgive him fully. Not until the bruises had at least started to heal.

You thought he was about to apologies again or pull you aside and have a talk with you. But to your surprise, instead, "Let's get my superstar singer of a girlfriend some lunch." And gently put his arm round you, carefully avoiding the place where he had gripped you only 24 hours beforehand.

"Only if you're buying." You let him lead you away from the group back towards the cafeteria, which was now bustling with people.

Steve and Robin were having a mental conversation with each other behind you whilst this exchange was going down.

The hellfire kids, all got up with the remainder of their lunches and followed Eddie back to their usual table. Adam, Gareth and Jeff were probably sat there on their own wonderingwhere the helleveryone else was.

All except Max, you said something to Lucas, and walked over to the duo. Biting the inside of her cheek she glanced back at you, laughing about something that was happening between Eddie and Dustin. The red head turned back to Steve, clearly wanting to say something but was clearly struggling to put it into words.

"C'mon kid, spill" Steve said, placing his tambourine down and sitting on the edge of the stage. Robin also crouching down, to sit next to him.

"You won't tell y/n?" She asked. It was clear whatever she was about to say, it was to be strictly kept between the three of them.

"Yeah, pinkie promise or whatever" Steve said holding out his pinkie, as to which Robin and Max rolled their eyes. Only Robin indulged him in the pinkie pact seal. He gestured to Max to spill. The pact now sealed.

After looking at her shoes and messing with her headphones a little She took another look over her shoulder, double checking whoever she was worried about definitely wasn't there or at least out of earshot. She brought her voice into almost a whisper, leaning closer to Steve and Robin's faces.

"I saw her and Billy outside her trailer last night."

[If you liked this please like, reblog, comment and follow for more!]

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #steve harrington #reader is female #reader is conflicted #angst #drama #tension in the relationship #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson x you #stranger things season 4 #brief mentions of y/n #i try to not use it though

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coralsgrimes · 3 years ago

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What do you mean with the reposts? I don’t get it sorry 😭

(lil disclaimer! this is an older one that for the longest time I decided to avoid but since imma in a mood, and according to ma inbox a coward, I’m gonna hijack it)

I do believe it was about the captions (the muffin never explained). For Benny's 'refugee crisis' post they only included that Freddy took the photos without the original caption. For Jessie it was a personal message and Jessie's whole caption copied. Can't blame them. Jessie knows what she's saying without wannabe poetry, linking all sources and explaining the deal, she is involved and it shows. The treaty in question if anyone wanna take a look since it's earth day and important. Meanwhile, Benny gave us a photoshoot and entry from his lil secret diary. Actually, lemme tell ye a story of what me thinks happened.

So it was late February or early March (I was gone then so hard to tell exactly :c) and Benny followed several new accounts including some flashy 'video news source' and Choose Love instagram account cause followed by many famous peeps. What I think happened next is Benny ordered himself a tee and it took a while for it to show up at his Hungarian doorstep. Then what he did is, he took Freddy for a fun day to do photoshoot cuz weather was nice, and then he posted the thing to insta.

I still fucking think he decided to get involved cause he genuinely cares, but done the bare minimum with the least bit of thinking/research, yet with the hope of looking good. Just look at certain pre edited caption, and the edited caption. The educated one. Well don't be a Germany (meaning the government, absolutely not the folks). Ye know ma opinion by now x.x

Sooooo taking the opportunity (hi Benny hi muffins sorry again for hijacking, this is important!!) some organizations really worth mentioning if any of ye have a gold coin to spare.

So, Come Back Alive, Open Dialogue, Razom, Mriya Aid, Stavnitser - these mostly deliver aid to the defenders at frontlines; vests, helmets, tech supply and medical aid. Can't even say enough about how essential and almost always running out are compression bandages. Also Hospitallers (and their FB) are worth mentioning here. Crazy concept but the big deliveries of humanitarian/military aid ye might have seen? These are used up in days.

Now, Voices of Children, Help Ukraine Center, Зростай в родині, KHARPP, Four Paws, the animal shelters #1 #2 and PAH. Also this bakery in Kyiv employing folks with disabilities. And these are the big ones but there are hundreds of small initiatives going on in Poland, Romania or Ukraine. Basically organized through the grapevine. Here is even more.

Sooooo not saying Choose Love is doing nothing, but there are more focused organizations ye can support directly without them 'reaching out to their contacts'. Very easy to find and verify. The big guys? Talking big things and ending up doing nothing...

Beside that, if ye reading news (particularly on twitter) ye have a whole lot of independent journalists currently in Ukraine. Support them too if ye can.

Okie Coral is done now. For muffins who got this far, here is Патрон. A lil army doggo, more famous than Kanye.....

#sorry for another outburst #that;s it for the day ;c #goodnight muffins #seeeeeeeeee ye next time

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago

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GOING ON A HIATUS

Thanks to everyone who's taken the time out to read my posts and has enjoyed it so far. It's really been fun and entertaining exchanging thoughts and having these much deeper ship discussions.

I thought this issue was gonna go away but I woke up this morning to more people messaging me about finding my last video analysis on several other platforms without appropriate credit.

But that's not disturbing. The disturbing part is the people sliding into people's DM'S on other platforms to get them to take down my video because they don't want people sharing my content on other platforms as they believe it would only make my blog popular.

For those worried about this whole credit business, thanks for showing this much concern for me? I really appreciate the love and concern if it's from a genuine place of concern. Thank you...

I think some of you already know this by now or might have figured it out, I am a law student, I am very much well aware what is and what isn't within my rights? Lol

I honestly didn't see this whole credit thingy as a big deal. It's not. Not to me. Lol. I repost people's photos without credit too all the time. Often, it's because I don't know who to credit and most time my lazy ass just forgets to. Lol. I think it's normal? It's inconsequential I mean.

The videos I use are usually often water marked by the appropriate owners so I don't go through the hustle of figuring this whole credit business out. If I should decide to come back here again I will check that habit of mine?

While this whole credit business is not a big deal to me, malicious slander and defamation to my character is and I don't take it lightly.

It has been brought to my attention that some Jikookers from Tumblr have since been sliding into people's DM's on other platforms asking them to take down my video and or remove the credit they give to my post.

They are telling people I am problematic, calling me the Taekook Lives of the Jikook community. That I have been spreading lies about Jikook, that the Jikook Tumblr community hates me or something like that and to further caricaturize me and make me appear more evil in order to get people to turn on me and hate me, they make up the most ridiculous lies about me claiming that I believe a notorious serial killer is innocent.

Now I have since deleted my YT account because I don't want my colleagues to find out I am into shipping too lol- shipping is a guilty pleasure of mine and I know how this fandom works unfortunately. I've been a silent part of it since 2014. I mean it's started already. The Doxing and shit.

The original post under which these replies are from couldn't save sadly as my account has been deleted but you can see from my notifications the general feel of what my interests outside shipping looks like.

I am interested in a myriad of topics, from literature, Aliens, writing, Harry Potter, history, activism, advocacy, philosophy, law, politics, NASA, and mystery and murder among other things.

My quora is mostly filled with notifications from my Book community and True crime community and often I do share my thoughts and answer questions with regards to the psychology of murderers, legal evidence, notorious villains in literature- well I guess now you know the kind of lawyer I want to be if and when I'm able to complete law school.

But what has my interest in these topics got to do with Jikook and shipping please?? How does this prove I hate Jikook and spread lies about them?

This Kookie Min Monsta person slipped into someone's DMS and asked the person who had put up my video analysis to take it down or discredit me because to her I am problematic. She is not the only one.

You want so bad to paint me black- no pun intended just to win an argument? You claim I am the evil malicious person here but I am not the one sliding into people's dms trying to take credit away from people for their hardwork, spreading hate and negative energy, making things up to manipulate people's perception of others and get them to hate and turn on them- and all because of A SHIP? Damn. This is pathetic.

Who died and made you the gatekeeper of the jikook shipping community? Honestly antics like these don't work on me try again.

I made a video commentary on my Booktube YT account- yes I am part of the book YouTube community as well sue me or better still slip into their inboxes and tell them I voted for Trump therefore I hate chipmunks.

The commentary I made on YT months ago was when I was in the highs of finding a new passion and it was on Ann Rule's book, The Stranger Besides Me- a true crime novel on Ted Bundy which I found so poorly written that at the end of the book it left with me wondering whether or not Ted Bundy was guilty at all!

The Author's writing style which deviates from most writing styles of True Crime novels I have read gave me trust issues as I stated in the video. It felt more as if she was writing a made up fictional novel than an actual True Crime novel but because she knew Ted Bundy in person she made it seem as if we just had to believe her account.

Then there was this whole thing about the police not being able to match the DNA samples taken from his rape victims, to his own Semen because his Semen was DNAless- in lay man's terms. I'll spare you the technicalities involved.

As I stated in that video, I do believe Ted Bundy was guilty but I do not have much faith in the Judicial system, or criminal procedures or even the Author of that book- a sentiment most people within the true crime community share as well. We just had differing views on whether the writer's style took away from the narrative and waters down on the extent of Bundy's guilt.

We had a Similar conversation about Chris Watt. If the community I was engaging in didn't have a problem with my commentary why do you? Please don't meddle in things you know nothing about. It's embarrassing.

The conversation about whether or not Ted Bundy is innocent is moot but a philosophical one. It has nothing to do with Ted Bundy's guilt but more so the criminal procedures involved in his case and the different accounts that exists surrounding his case.

He was electrocuted, he confessed to his crimes no damn person with brains would think or assume he is innocent and I never said anything of that nature drew any conclusions to that effect.

Besides, I moved on from Ted Bundy a long time ago. Now I am into the Serial Killer who writes death poems and signs it off with drawings of the size of his dick at his crime scenes- mind your own business please or don't and let's have an intellectual discourse about him? Lmho.

I am also into cat memes if you care to know and have a whole IG dedicated to cat memes. I believe human beings are the most dumbest species in all the galaxies and when the Aliens arrive I am snitching.

When my mind is at rest, I often wonder if Aliens have masculinity complex and if they do whether or not their masculinity is contingent on the size of their dicks or whether they have to engage in a battle to the death with an alien grizzly bear to determine who is the man.

I love BTS memes too- a little too much and often end up debating over the internet with random people over whether BTS memes are funnier than cat memes- I'm weird, true. But how does all of that make me a bad person?

It's crazy how these people can go on these other platforms to ask people to take down the credits to my posts as well as my posts itself but can't ask people who run to these other platforms with misinterpretations of my work to take those down.

Instead they come on here to call me out for people's interpretations of my work?? It doesn't work that way. You are the author of your own opinion and interpretation of other people's work. You don't call out the original author for someone's opinion of their work. If that were so I would be emailing Stephanie Meyer for Anna Todd and her After series. Get some education.

I have since blocked this person and others whose Tumblr I have been able to find thanks to all those that's helped me finding them on here.

My gf also tried reaching out to the persons who shared my post after we realised this was becoming an issue and had asked them to credit her or my blog- but honestly I don't care about that yet she won't give it a rest. Lol. My ride or die this one. Sigh.

However, we realized soon that this is not about 'stealing' credit- can't call someone out for not giving credit when I suck at that myself. Lol.

This is about people's malicious intentions and their attempts to silence me and take away my right to freedom of expression however way that they can. This is wrong and evil.

I honestly don't care for all these ship politics these people are engaged in. I've had enough intelligent conversations to know the distinction between arguments that flows from bruised egos and actual conversations around a subject matter.

This whole I am right, she is wrong politics... y'all get that the point of having an opinion is not to be right, right? We all cant have the same perspective and you can't call someone a liar for holding views that is different from yours. That is a bizarre mentality to have.

As I stated in my post, that content I made was a rebuttal to the Taekook theories running around on the internet alleging JK glared at Tae when he pulled on his shoulder because he was jealous Tae and Jin were having fun behind him. He wasn't. He was worried Tae was gonna expose him and JM holding hands behind Suga.

If you don't think they were holding hands then Taekookers were right and his reaction was because he was Jealous of Taejin I guess...

But thats your truth. That's not my truth. I don't believe Taekook is real. JK isn't jealous of Taejin he is not Twelve- but then again he was sneaking around behind Suga holding his boyfriend's hands so I guess he is twelve? Lol. Jikook!

Do you.

But please stop the evil malicious attacks and seek immediate help. There is such a thing as right and wrong and this is just plain wrong. Your Karma and chakra are in the negative nodes and you need to fix it. It is not funny anymore.

Thank you to everyone who has shown genuine concerns for me in the past few days and thank you so much for trying to stand up for me. There are good people on here and I have met and interacted with a lot of them and thank you so much for such a wonderful experience and insightful discussions.

I don't hate people because of our differences in thoughts, beliefs, opinions. There's always room for dissenting opinions in every sphere. At the very least, we can agree to disagree and shake on it. But You can't make up shit about people just to prove your opinion is right and their opinions and views which differ from yours are 'wrong.

I am not a victim though, and they are not bullies, psst. They are just vile pathetic human beings exposing the greens of their insides. What you do says more about who you are as a person and human being. And this is who they are.

Just be a nice decent human being. That's what this world needs. Fix whatever is broken inside of you and free your mind and spirit. Hate is never the answer.

I'm going to be away for a while because I have studies, work and other interests I want to pursue at the moment- it's just my AADD flaring up so if you see me henceforth raving about Nana at least you'd know why. Lol. She's wrecking my Jimin bias. Lmho.

Spread positivity, do the right thing, stand up for a good cause and keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Until we meet again.

Signed,

GOLDY

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anonymousdisaster · 5 years ago

Text

Relax

A/N: once again, I wrote this when I was, what, ten? So, like... don't judge. Or do, I don't really care, actually. Gif isn't mine, y'all should know that. Also, this was originally meant to be posted on my other account, @thewalkingimagines , but, you know, cause I'm stupid, I accidentally posted it on here instead, and I'm too lazy to redo all of this stuffs and repost it over there. Anyway.

Genre: general fluff, but it starts out kinda angsty

Pairing: Steve Rogers (Captain America) x non gender specific!reader

Description: Steve comes back from a bad mission, and the reader (with powers similar to Jasper from Twilight) has to help him relax.

1942 words without A/N

He hadn't been able to save all of them. He should have been able to save all of them. There had been children, *babies* even. And he hadn't been able to save them. He hadn't been able to get them all out of the building in time.

It had been a very long, and very hard mission. He had known it would be from the start, but he hadn't realized just how mentally damaging it couldn't been. He could still hear the screams of the victims still trapped inside of the burning building that he should've been able to save.

All he could think about was the people who had lost their lives, and the people who had lost loved ones, as he trudged into the elevator that would take him to his floor of the Avengers Tower. He didn't even bother to go to the debriefing that was held after the mission, he just headed towards his room in some desperate attempt to escape his pain and grief and stress.

As he made his first step off of the elevator on his floor, he vaguely registered someone speaking to him.

"Mistah Rogers? Are you alright? Well, no, uh, of course you're not alright. I can feel what happened. Oh, I'm so sorry, Mistah Rogers."

The sweet, slanted voice of (name) (last name) broke through the somber fog that had seemed to wrap itself around his mind. He usually rather enjoyed the empath's ramblings, but right now their reading his emotions was not good. He had to keep up his hero façade, if he didn't, he might as well be walking away from himself. So in an attempt to get away from them, he just grunted and kept walking.

"Mistah Rogers? Hey, did you hear me?"

'Just go away, kid,' he thought to himself. He felt his emotional support beams snap just a moment before he rounded on the empath.

"You know, for somebody who has the literal ability to read peoples feelings and emotions, you sure can't tell when your presence isn't wanted, can you?!" He growled, his voice dangerously low. He didn't mean that, of course, he just couldn't deal with people right now. He saw a flash of hurt cut across their eyes at his words, but it quickly demolished and reformed into some odd form of understanding.

"Oh I'm... I'm sorry–I'll, uh, I'll just g-go now," they replied in a stuttered mumble, before scurrying towards the elevator. As he watched their heel disappear behind the metal doors, he almost reached out to tell them he didn't mean it; but the door was too fast, and before the words could escape his lips, the (your hair color) haired empath was gone from sight.

He let out an irritated sigh and ran a hand over his face, before about-facing, and continuing the trech to his room.

The second he kicked the door closed behind him, he was taking off his clothing and slipping into a pair of baggy sweat pants, and belly-flopping down onto his too-soft bed.

He just laid there a moment, feeling himself slip into that beautifully fuzzy haze of not-full-consciousness and not full sleep. Focusing on that and not the ache in his shoulders and back or the sound of screaming that still reverberating in his mind was probably why he didn't notice the soft knock that came to his door, or the click of the hinges as it was pushed open slightly to reveal the same (hair color) haired, (eye color) eyed person that he had nearly shouted at in the hallway only a few moments before. He should have been ashamed of his lack of vigilance, but in all honestly, thinking back on it later he would probably be glad he hadn't.

The empath carried a small bag that held several different items in it. Most of which Steve would deny ever using if he was ever asked outright. Everything from essential oils to lavender scented bath soaps were held in that bag.

~~~~~~~

They knew that Stevens previous explosion was not really aimed at them, he was only stressed and in desperate need of some well deserved R&R. They also knew that what they were about to do could get them yelled at by the super soldier, but they couldn't not help him. Part of being an empath was feeling someone else's pain as if it were one's own, and right now, all the pain and anger and grief that he felt was also within them. So their doing this for him was to help them almost as much.

Hesitantly, they reached out a trembling hand and placed it upon his bare sholder. At the initial contact he stiffened and sharply inhaled, but, as they released some of their power, he imediately began to calm down.

Another part of their power was the ability to manipulate other peoples emotions. It may not have been the coolest power, but, in times like this, they found it rather useful.

They removed their hand from his sholder just long enough to rub some essential oils and lotions onto their hands, before replacing them on his sholder and softly beginning to massage away the tension. His muscles were still so wound up from the mission that it took them a few moments to get through to his sore flesh, but the moment they did, he let out a small breathy groan that brought a small smile to their lips.

They worked their way all the way across his broad shoulders, and then down his back, all the way to the band of his low-riding sweatpants and back up to repeat the motion again in backwards order. Switching between soft kneading and harder circles with the heel of their small hand, continuing for the better part of an hour until his muscles were back to their previous limber flexibility.

They had noted some twenty minutes before that his groans and sighs of apriciation had morphed into soft snores and the rapid flow of rabid emotions that had cut though his consciousness before were now down to a minimum.

'Good,' they thought, 'its working.'

But now that they needed him to move, it could be possibly problematic. Gently, they moved up to his face and gingerly placed a pale hand upon it, shaking him slightly to wake him and whispered quietly.

"Hey, Mistah Rogers... he, I need you to roll over for me... Do you think you can, love?"

His beautiful blue eyes opened just a slit to see their face and he let out a rather loud, gutteral moan as he pushed himself to roll onto his back, his tired muscles not quite awake enough to push himself up with much grace, as he just kind of flopped over, one arm layed across his abdomen the other still trapped under his body. They gently pulled his arm from under his body, and layed the other straight beside him, before re-applying more lotions and returning to message his front side.

Again, they started at one shoulder and worked their way across to the other, then worked their way down his chest and stomach, then back up before going to his bicep and massaging down his arm, all the way to his hand, going back up, then repeating the action with his other arm.

They left him for a moment to go to his bathroom and start the bath. Taking the correct products from their bag, they began pouring in generous amounts of bath salts and bubbles as it filled.

They quickly went back into his bedroom and softly shook him back awake, careful not to be too harsh.

"Hey, there, Mistah Rogers, come on, I've got a bath running for you."

His eyes opened ever so slightly yet again to take in their face, and process what the (eye colored) eyed empath had said. With a groan, he pushed himself to a sitting position, and allowed them to pull him into the bathroom. Once there, they turned to him expectantly before blushing heavily and turning their back to him so he could slip out of his sweats. He was far too tired to be very embarrassed at the happenings as he gingerly climbed into the bath, using the bubbles as a sort of blanket to hide his, heh, "intimate area" from view.

As soon as they knew he was covered decently, they turned back with a washcloth and poured some soap onto it, scrubbing the foam into the rag to make it sudsy.

They bent and sat on their knees at the side of the tub, leaning forward and not hesitating to begin washing him with the utmost care.

~~~~~~~

The feeling of their rag covered hand scouring over his body gave him chills, he hadn't felt so well taken care of like this since before the serum, when his oldest freind would take care of him when he was sick. And, as much as he hated to admit it, it felt amazing. To be vulnerable to someone like this had an almost orgasmic quality to it. He let his head drop back onto the edge of the tub and closed his eyes, allowing himself to fully relax against their adept hands as they swept his body.

He felt the soft rag cross his shoulders, then down his arms, then accros his toned stomache, stopping before their hands dipped bellow the belt line and went down his legs, all the way down to his feet.

He felt as their unclothed hand moved down his arm and gently grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand above the waters bubbly surface and setting the wash rag in his hand. Wordlessly, they gestured to his groin area, asking him to wash himself while they left to get some dry towels.

He did as they had silently asked, and they returned quickly with two large, fluffy, white towels to dry him with. The empath helped him stand and step out of the bathtub, handing him one of the towels to dry his front while they patted dry his back.

He stood as still as he could on limbs that felt like jeletin as they finished drying him and helped him back into his sweat pants. Leading him back to his bed. They pulled back the bed spread and helped him lie down in a comfortable position.

They stayed like that for a few moment, just watching eachother, before (name) smiled a small smile, squeezed his hand, and turned to leave.

But their hand didn't leave his.

He held them back until they looked back down at him with curious eyes.

"Thank you," they said simply. "and... call me Steve."

Their answer was just a kind smile and another soft squeeze to his hand. They tried yet again to move away from him, but again was stopped by him not releasing their hand. A small blush creaped onto his cheeks as he asked quietly:

"Would you, uh, would, would you mind staying with me, for tonight?" He quietly questioned.

Yet again their responding smile answered his question as they crawled down into the bed beside him. He turned towards the empath and they pulled him towards them, resting his head on their chest and reaching up to toy with his still slightly wet blonde hair.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep in their embrace, and not much longer for them to follow suit. Their hand still buried in his soft hair.

Let's just say that it was the best night of sleep either of them had had in a very long time.

#Captain america x nonbinary reader #Fluff #Cute #Cuddling #I like cuddling #Okay?#Fight me #Hurt/comfort #Captain amarica x reader #Steve rogers x nonbinary reader #Steve rogers x reader

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