#regis's birthday isn't the same as canon shep but i've had this in my drafts for a while so why not post it today :)

[clericofshadows]

relaxation

Description: ME1 ERA - After a rough mission, Regis helps Kaidan relax.

Pairing: Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko, past Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani

Rating: E (Tags: Rimming, Anal Plug, Anal Sex)

As Regis settled down under the sheets, about the curl up next to Kaidan, he realized that he felt tense around him, almost as if he was ready to flee.  With a quiet huff, he flicked open his omnitool and turned on the lights to a low dim in the cabin, trying not to grin while Kaidan let out a low groan. 

“Seriously, Regis,” he murmured, rolling onto his back. “What's wrong?”

“I should be asking you that,” he replied, sitting up, throwing the sheets off. “You've been off all evening.”

“Nothing escapes your notice,” Kaidan said quietly, a hint of bitterness leeching in.

“I could say the same thing about you,” Regis said with a pointed look. “You get on my case for not talking about shit, so let's have it.”

Kaidan sat up next to him, rubbing at his eyes. “The last mission we went on. It's got me… I don't know.  I don't like facing our own, even less knowing what our implants could do to us.”

They knew the delicacy of the mission walking in.  A chairman held hostage by biotic terrorists for refusing reparations for L2 biotics after all the mishandling. 

Regis couldn't quite bring himself to feel sorry for Burns, if only because a lot of shit could've been avoided if he actually listened to their plight.  Took two L2s who were “well adjusted” to get it in his head that maybe L2s did deserve something for what humanity did in their race to meet the rest of the galaxy head on. 

The lucky ones ended up in the Alliance, ensuring a paycheck and decent healthcare because the Alliance takes care of their most favored assets. 

Regis knew it was hard for some older biotics to even get a normal job.  Everyone knows the gens. 

L1s that can barely create a spark.  L2s that can blow up the world, risking blowing up themselves in the process. 

The L3s were just right.  A balance of normalcy and alien power, almost enough to them to live a normal life if they pleased. 

Yeah, he wasn't exactly surprised to see Kaidan thinking about what happened today. 

“I don't like it either,” he admitted. “I know we tried to subdue as many as possible. We did what we could.”

Kaidan let out what sounded like a snort.  “I wonder how much we'll get out of it.”

If it manages to get through even after this… Regis wasn't a fan of the implications of Burns acquiescing to the terrorists’ demands, potentially painting biotics in an even worse light despite being saved by Alliance biotics. 

And what are the chances that will be left out of the reports?

“Probably going to exclude Alliance L2s somehow,” Regis bitterly replied, watching as a small, wry smile formed on Kaidan’s face. “See, you are a cynic!”

“Only with you,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “I never expected to have to deal with our issues on this mission, that's all.”

Regis hummed. “Alliance is taking advantage of my position. I can't exactly fault them for that. I'd do the same.”

“I know.” He let out a sigh. “I'm not sure what has gotten me all out of shape. Mind’s going a thousand miles a minute.”

Kaidan could easily get lost in his head.  So could Regis, to be fair, but he tended to dwell more on what could've been far more than Regis ever cared to. 

Perhaps he saw them in those biotics’ places. If he didn't have a support system, a family, a lover, who was there nearly every step of the way, that could’ve been his fate.

Regis wasn't going to press him on it.  He's the addict out of the two of them, his red sand Astra cigarettes waiting to be smoked, sitting on their bedside table. 

Even with Kaidan, even with his asari matriach uncle, Vikram, he's never been able to shake that habit after all the red sand exposure he obtained at BAaT.

And Vikram was the one that introduced the Astras to him in the first place. All so his mother wouldn't get blowback from her son being a red sand addict... if it were to come out how bad BAaT was for some.

“We were lucky.”

“That we were. If you could even call it that.”

“I think we've earned it. You, most of all, have, that's for damn sure.”

Kaidan frowned. Regis hit a nerve. 

Sue him for wanting Kaidan to get the rest he deserves after the bullshit with Vyrnnus. 

But, to his surprise, he didn't protest. Must really be a bad night. 

He decided to take the conversation in a different direction, moving closer and cupping his face. “Do you need me to take care of you tonight?”

Kaidan closed his eyes, leaning into his touch.  His voice shuddered, nearly breathy. “Yeah, yeah that's what I need.” 

It’s been more than a few days since they’ve gone further than kissing and cuddling and teasing touches in the shower.   Perhaps this was something they both needed.

Regis nodded, moving in to kiss him softly, slowly on the lips.  Tenderness, gentleness, something easy and comforting.  The heat could come later. 

Kaidan let him take the lead, moving to sit in his lap and be pushed up against their pillows, breathing in each other's love and scent. 

“I have an idea,” Regis said, against his lips, stopping to kiss at his neck, a sensitive spot underneath his ear that made him shudder. 

“Yeah?” Kaidan said, voice strained. “What do you got for me?”

“Vik taught me how to use my biotics for deep massages. There's a bottle of oil in the bathroom,” he started, motioning over to their private suite. 

“And you're telling me you can do this now?” Kaidan let out a laugh, almost sounding offended if it weren't for the loving look he gave him. “Holding out on me.”

“To be fair I've only practiced on myself and them. It's not an easy practice.  Hell, you'll be far better at it than me with all that sexy control you've got going on,” Regis said, feeling a little embarrassed in the moment. “It's not like I wanted to keep it from you. I just… forgot.”

“We've had a lot of shit happen these past couple of months. I think I can give you a little grace.” Kaidan climbed off his lap, brushing a hand against Regis's covered cock. “I'll be waiting,” he purred, stretching himself on the bed.

Regis bit back a groan.  Before he got up, an idea came to mind. “Would you like something else?”

“Something else?” He raised an eyebrow.

Regis’s gaze went to his boxers. “Do you want more than a massage out of this?  I could… plug you up.  Get you all prepped and ready for me.” He felt his cheeks warm up at his own words, always a little flustered by his own talk, his purring, raspy words and promises.  

Kaidan let out a little moan at the suggestion. “I should let you take charge more often, love.”

Regis moved in to kiss him once more before getting up. “I like our arrangement just fine.”

“I never get tired of pulling those sounds out of you.  But… it's nice on the other side, on occasion.” Kaidan rolled over to lie on his stomach, slipping off his boxers.  Regis licked his lips at the sight, turning around before his plans changed.  

He entered the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of massage oil, mostly saved for tight muscles after hard missions.  He reached under the cabinet and grabbed their small box of toys.  Something utterly unnecessary for this mission, but he couldn't help but want to have some on hand. 

At the time, he was just supposed to be an XO, and he and Kaidan couldn't be out and open. 

How things have changed…

The lube was kept in their nightstand, so he grabbed a couple of towels before closing the door to the suite behind him, supplies in hand.

“I'm going to lay some towels down,” Regis said, putting them on his side of the bed and prompting Kaidan to lie on top of them after setting down the rest of his supplies.

“Worried I'll make a mess?” He teased, resting his head on his arms. 

“If you want to help me change the sheets afterwards, all you have to do is tell me,” Regis chuckled.  He reached out for the lube sitting on the nightstand, and opened the drawer to grab a condom. “Safe word?”

“Talons,” Kaidan said, dutifully. “If I can't speak, I'll tap you three times. And yours?”

Regis closed his eyes briefly before opening them.  “Space.  I’ll tap three times if I can’t speak.  I’ll use our traffic light system through this.  This can… get intense.”

Every time they try and go through the motions.  They may not always do it, but on quiet, restless nights like these, they are needed more than ever.  They know what they want and need, they know the things that are hard stops… but checking in is how they show their love.

“If it's anything like the times you suspend me with your biotics, I look forward to it.”

“I know you do.”  Regis ghosted his fingertips against the nape of his neck where he knew his amp port laid underneath the skin, feeling him shiver underneath his touch.  “Thinking of a moment in particular?”

“The one time you fucked me while Massani watched,” Kaidan said with a pleased hum.  “Keeping my arms above me with a modified stasis.  Using my own damn corona against me.  Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking of.”

He kissed at a spot between his shoulder blades.  That was a good time.  An ill-advised shore leave on Omega that turned into more for a brief moment.  

They should call him, see how he’s doing.  Been a few days since they’ve heard from him.  

It’s been fun keeping Zaeed up to date on their missions on the SR-1, but it was also a reminder of what could’ve been.

A regret Regis still has today.  They should’ve been honest, they should’ve tried to make them work beyond Omega and vorcha mafia bullshit and bottles of expensive, disgusting whiskey.

“Maybe when this mission is over… we could invite him over for some drinks,” Regis said, kissing down his back, slowly making his way down.

“Just drinks?” He could hear the amusement from a mile away.

“You and I both know it’s never just drinks with us.”  Regis reached for the small box.  “Dealer’s choice?  Or do you have a preference tonight?”

“Medium size.  I’m not you,” He laughed.  It’s true.  While they both enjoyed being fucked and full–Regis more than him–he wasn’t as much of a fan of larger toys.  

“Of course.” Regis glanced at the plugs.  There was the medium that was short and would barely brush against his prostate, or the longer medium that could keep teasing him.  Looking between them, he grabbed the requested medium plug–the shorter one–and put the box back on the table.  “Relax for me, love.”  Regis kept the lube in easy reach, but decided to surprise Kaidan.  He dragged his fingers down the cleft of his ass, ghosting over his hole before leaning in and claiming it with his mouth, spreading his cheeks apart with his hands. 

“Fuck!” Kaidan yelled as Regis stuck his tongue inside, getting his hole nice and wet.  He chuckled from his position, temporarily letting up to press a kiss just above his hole.

“Too much?”

“Hell no, keep going,” Kaidan said, his voice strained.

Regis continued to circle the rim with his tongue, taking his time to eat him out and get part of him to relax.  Feeling the tension underneath his grip on his hips, he almost wanted to make him come already before giving him his promised massage.

But not yet.

Regis was an impatient bastard most of the time, but when it came to pleasuring Kaidan?

He could take all the time he needs.  

When Kaidan let out a higher pitched whine, Regis pulled away and reached for the lube.  “Still green?”

“Will be even greener if you plug me up already,” he said with a huff, always a little mouthy in this position.

Regis obliged, coating a finger with lube and easing it in, joining in with a second soon enough, already pliant and loose after his earlier ministrations.  Kaidan started to push back against his fingers as he stretched him, impatient and ready for more.  To be expected, of course.  Regis joined in with a third, angling them just right until he teased his prostate, waiting to hear him moan beautifully and without restraint.  

By the time he started groaning his name, Regis felt he was ready, and pulled his fingers out.  Kaidan whined briefly.   He shushed him, taking a second to coat the plug with lube and pushed it inside, watching his hole greedily close around it.  “Someone was needy,” Regis said, echoing the words Kaidan usually says about him.

Kaidan let out a pleased sigh.  “I know where you’re going with that.”

“Do you?” Regis grinned despite knowing he wasn’t looking at him.  Wiping his hands on the towel, he reached for the oil.  “How’s it feeling?”

Kaidan wiggled his ass.  “You’re a bastard for not grabbing the longer one.”

“You weren’t specific.  You only said medium.”

“I feel like you’re punishing me,” Kaidan huffed out a laugh.  “This side of you should come out more often.”

“Don’t talk to me when you’re feeling off and we’ll see where it goes.”

“Hah.  Love you,” Kaidan said, twisting around to look back at him.  

“I love you too.  Ready for the main event?”

“Do I need to keep a handle on my biotics?  Don’t want Adams getting smug on us again.”

Adams putting up that board in engineering was one of the funniest and also frustrating things ever.  Always thinking about how they might flare and throw off the sensors or throw false positive errors on the eezo core.  

Regis knew the board was at two weeks now without a false positive error caused by their biotics.  He’d like to keep the streak going.

“You’ll react to my corona and mechanisms, that’s for sure, but we had a good fight today.  Unless you really let loose,” Regis said, reaching for the bottle.  Kaidan settled back on his stomach, humming and content with his answer.

Regis knew he wasn’t bothered about the board either,

He poured some of the oil on his hands, rubbing them together before starting at his shoulders, working the muscle with just his hands at first.  The oil was a warming one, a pleasant feeling scenting of vanilla.  Kaidan let out a groan as he targeted a wound up spot.  “I’m about to go in with my biotics.”

“Go for it,” he groaned.  “Fuck, that feels good.  Didn’t realize I was that wound up already.”

Regis wanted to say he was always tightly wound, but he refrained for now.  “It's been stressful lately.”

Kaidan hummed, letting out another sharp gasp as Regis attacked another knot.  He stilled his motions for a moment, cupping his hand slightly before pushing dark energy through, imagining the anatomy underneath his skin and twisting the energy into his desired target.  At that, Kaidan’s corona lit up in a bright blue, reacting to Regis’s purple biotics, twisting together in wisps of fantastical color.  Regis continued to massage, now feeling the spot loose and more pliant than before, sinking dark energy into the skin.

All Kaidan did was moan, grasping the sheets tightly, his biotics framing his body. “Gah… You're teaching me how to do that.  Wow.”

“Feels good, right?” 

“Damn good.  Ugh, I'm going to be useless tomorrow,” he groaned. 

Regis leaned in to kiss him on the nape of his neck. “I can take you off the roster for a bit.  Call it a short leave after our mission yesterday.”

“I may take you up on that…” he laughed. “Keep going.”

For a moment, Regis almost asked for a please to go along with that command.  But he decided against it, enjoying his lover's reaction to his new talent.  He continued on, first using the oil and his hands, and then following up with his biotics, removing all the tension and tightness down his back. 

By the time Regis had made his way all down his back, Kaidan had started to lazily thrust up against the sheets, chasing his release.  Regis grabbed his hips, manhandling him to get on his hands and knees. “I won't fuck you if you keep that up.”

His cock was hard, leaking pre-come and left a visible wet spot on the towels. Kaidan wiggled his ass, his hands tightly grabbing the sheets.  He was covered in sweat and oil, smelling of vanilla and sex. His eyes were blown with lust and biotics, a mix of brown, blue, and black. “Regis, please. Let me come,” he pleaded. “Take this damn plug out and fuck me!”

Regis took off his briefs, taking his own cock in hand and bringing it to full hardness, stroking it fast and rough. He brushed a hand against the plug in his ass, tugging on it without pulling it out, drawing out more moans from Kaidan, enjoying how vocal he was tonight. 

With one last tease, he pulled it out and replaced it with three lubed fingers, giving him no time to cry out at the lack of being filled. He thrusted a few times, ensuring he was stretched enough for him. 

Regis loved getting fucked by Kaidan because his cock was long and curved in the most delicious of ways, able to angle and hit his prostate without any tricks.  Regis’s was shorter, but thicker.  And while Kaidan didn't enjoy larger toys, he loved the rare occasions he would get fucked by him, preferring the stretch and burn of a thick cock instead of a cold toy. 

Regis rolled on a condom and brushed his fingers against his back one last time, before grabbing onto his hips and sinking into his stretched hole with a moan.  Kaidan groaned his name, long and drawn out, throwing his head back and pulling at the sheets as Regis sank into him from behind. 

It’s been too damn long since he's done this.  He won't last long, feeling his tight, warm heat around him.

He gave him a moment to adjust, knowing it's been a long white since Kaidan’s been fucked beyond a little fingering.  A part of him regretted their position, wanting to see his face as he took him apart.

Next time, perhaps.  

With one uttered word from Kaidan, breathless and full of want, Regis began to fuck him in earnest.  “Green,” he moaned, pushing back and trying to force Regis to move. 

Green, Regis thought, as he took him apart, fucking him long and slow, keeping in mind the purpose of the night.  Relaxation.  Releasing tension.  Feeling good. 

It wouldn't take much more.  Legs shaking, voices growing in desperation.  “Please,” Kaidan moaned, knuckles white and straining in his grip. 

Regis snapped his hips harder, burying himself as deep as he could, reaching out for Kaidan's dick, starting to stroke it in time with his thrusts. 

Kaidan cried out, wisps of blue surrounding him before winking out as he gasped his name, spilling all over his hand.  The rush of his biotics reached Regis, a stinging lash of sensation, and he spilled inside of the condom, groaning incoherently as his hips shuddered and stopped, chasing that last hit of pleasure until it was too much. 

He stayed inside him briefly, leaning in to kiss him at the nape of his neck, tasting the sweaty, salty skin and inhaling the scent of the vanilla oil mixed with sex, intoxicating and addicting. 

When Kaidan let out a whine, Regis took that as time to pull out, knowing he was likely just as overstimulated as him. Tugging off the condom, he wrapped it up and tossed it in the nearby bin. 

His hand was still covered in Kaidan's come, so he got his attention by calling his name.  Stretching himself out on the bed, with half-lidded eyes, Kaidan watched as Regis licked up his mess, getting his hand clean. 

Kaidan licked his lips and let out a sigh, catching his breath. “Thanks.” He reached out for one of the towels and started to wipe off his sweaty, oil-slick skin. 

“Don't thank me, love,” Regis said, leaning in to kiss him on the lips.

Kaidan pulled him in closer, taking the lead this time, exploring his mouth and pushing back. Regis took it all in, letting Kaidan take whatever he wanted. 

“I will thank you any way I want,” he murmured against his lips, their scars brushing up against each other. “For being what I need and more.”

It would be easy to take off his dog tags, take off his father's ring, and propose to him right then and there. 

But he didn't, only brushing his hand against them and reminding him that they were there, against his chest. 

Regis reached out to grab his water bottle, taking a sip and offering Kaidan some, who took it with a smile and chugged some down. His gaze turned to his pack of Astra's, his fingers itching to take one out and smoke. 

Not on the ship. 

Kaidan followed his gaze, twitching his fingers and biotically pulling the pack to them. “You and I both know that half of engineering smokes down there.”

Regis closed his eyes. “Why are you okay with this?”

“Why don't I refuse to share it with you every time I light it for you?”

Touche. 

Kaidan pulled one out and offered it to him. “You haven't smoked one in weeks.  I know it's gotten you antsy.”

Regis accepted it, and although they had a ritual, he instead used his omnitool to generate a flame, knowing the lighter Kaidan carried for him was out of reach.  Now lit, he took a long pull, breathing in the smoke and feeling his biotics react hungrily to the red sand within. “Been a long time since I've taken a drag after sex.”

“Not since… damn, it's been longer than before our commission on this ship.”

He knew when the last time was. 

It all goes back to Zaeed.

Kaidan plucked the Astra from his fingers and took a small drag of his own, breathing out a perfect ring of smoke.  His biotics also came to life, a blue corona that glowed dimly in comparison to how bright they normally were out in the field. “Not since… shore leave.” He said with a wink before handing the cigarette back to him.

Only one shore leave he could be talking about.  Regis already came to the same conclusion. “Feel bad about saying another man’s name after I made you come?”

“Of course not,” he snorted. “I knew you were thinking about Zaeed. Clear as day.”

One rough night after nearly getting themselves killed dealing with Zaeed’s target, Regis lit up an Astra, thinking nothing of it.  He figured the merc was familiar with the drug and being in the business and didn't give a shit.  

He should’ve known better.  He damn near slapped the red sand laced cigarette out of his hand, asking if he was crazy for doing that shit as a biotic.

Regis, surprised, merely said that he was aware of the risks and limited himself to one at a time.  Barely enough to feel withdrawal after a long time without it, but there were times he would feel antsy without it.

Should be the sign to get him to quit, but he’s not going to anytime soon.

Zaeed didn’t appear happy about it, but when Kaidan mentioned that Regis never smoked alone, he seemed to get the implication and left it alone.

He never saw the merc light up anything.  Maybe he wasn’t a smoker.  Regis felt there had to be a reason, but there wasn’t a time to ask.

“I wanted him.  Still do.” Regis blew out smoke, but it started to feel sour, thinking about what could've been. He snuffed it out, using the side of the bed to do so, and tossed the butt on the bedside table to be dealt with later. 

“Me too. Maybe we can figure something out over those drinks.”

“After the mission.”

“After the mission,” he echoed, and swung his legs over to the edge of the bed. “I'm going to wash up since I feel gross and sticky.”

“I like you gross and sticky.”

Kaidan pulled a face but leaned in to kiss him on the forehead anyway. “You're terrible.”

“You love it anyway.”

“Yeah, I sure do.”

Regis followed him to their suite, barely large enough for one person, much less two grown men, but they made it work.  Kaidan toyed with the ring on Regis's dogtags as they washed up, knowing what it will mean to them one day.

He was waiting to be back on Kaidan’s family’s property, under that tree a motorcycle ride away.  Maybe he can invite some of the crew.  The ground crew especially, he’d love to host Tali and Wrex alongside Ash.

Maybe Ash can be his best woman, if Kaidan doesn't beat him to it...

And also ensure Zaeed was there with them.

If things go well, however… that ring could go to more than one man in the end…