#regardless of how 'well' v ends up treating him eventually. regardless of the fact he's the 'exception'

[sincurse]

Inbred Ethel Cain..... Inbred Ethel Cain.......... Inbred Ethel Cain.......................

[hopespeak-hs-hostclub]

Since I don't have an original idea maybe Gundham NSFW ABC's

Also if you do anon names can I be 🦎 anon? If not it's okay I just wanted to ask!

YES I LOVE TANAKA SO MUCH I planned on doing this anyway 🦎 anon so I’m DOWN! Also yes you’re officially my first anon with a name I love it! Welcome!!!

NSFW ABC’S : Gundham Tanaka 💖

A (Aftercare) Gundham is so sweet and loving after sex with you. The two of you always shower together, and while you’re getting dressed he’ll make the two of you hot tea, and put on a movie in bed so the two of you can just snuggle and drink tea all evening until one of you (usually you) fall asleep.

B (fave body part) ASS. GUNDHAM IS AN ASS MAN! He likes to grab it and smack it and kiss it and bite it. He’s a sucker for your ass.

C (cum) he’s literally the ultimate breeder. So naturally he cums inside of you every. Single. Time. And you love it of course.

D (dirty Secret) it’s no surprise that Gundham is a little old fashioned about things. Well, same goes for romance obviously. He hates sexting and sending nudes, but he loves writing you erotic notes and leaving them on your nightstand, or bathroom counter for you to see when you wake up/get home. Usually they include something about how he can’t wait for his dark beauty to come home so he can absolutely ravage them. Ya know, cute romantic stuff like that

E (experience) You’re his first and only! He’s very shy and doesn’t express himself well, so when you two finally started dating, you were his first everything. Relationship, sexual partner.. all of it. But he caught on quick and he’s damn good at it.

F (favorite Position) he actually prefers missionary because he wants to constantly be able to kiss you and be as connected and close as possible. But don’t think that’s the only one he loves. Gundham is also obsessed with fucking you doggy style. From that position he can pound into you as hard and deep and rough as he wants, and also don’t forget that he has a preference for your ass.

G = (Goofy?) a little bit. Since he’s only ever slept with you there’s always some errors that embarrass him, but make you giggle and kiss him. Which makes him do the same. It’s super cute and makes you both fall more in love with eachother. Also since he was a virgin before meeting you there’s lots of experimenting that makes you both a little embarrassed and laughing sometimes.

H = (Hair) He’s never fully shaved, but he does trim and groom himself regularly. He doesn’t mind what you do either way, because he loves you regardless.

I = (Intimacy) sex with Gundham can definitely be goofier, but it’s usually incredibly intimate. He wants to touch and bite and leave marks all over your entire body. He usually lights candles and on birthdays, holidays, or your anniversary, he also has some rose pedals because even though he’s an emo boy, he’s also super romantic. He doesn’t give his love to just anyone, so he’s gonna absolutely shower you with it.

J = (Jack Off) Before meeting you he would jack off all the time. Here lately not as much. But when you’re not able to come over, he’s not afraid to think about you and enjoy himself.

K = (Kink) well he has a breeding kink. But besides that, he also realized he liked overstimulation and orgasm deprivation- but not to you. He wants to be over stimulated. He wants you to do all of that to him. Even though he has a “I’m better than everyone” thing going on most of the time, in the bedroom he’s actually very submissive. He does take charge every now and again, but for the most part he wants you to dominate him.

L = (Location) mostly your apartment/ dorm. But for his birthday you got a romantic hotel room with a jacuzzi bath tub you fucked in more than once. You’ve also had sex in hot tubs, pools, tents in the woods while camping, and in his car at night on a cliff. As long as you’re alone and together he’s so happy.

M = ( Motivation) sit on his lap and whisper in his ear. “Hey my sexy prince of darkness” something like that. Kiss his neck. He’s going to m e l t. Anything you do that’s even remotely sexy is all it takes.

N = (NO) he doesn’t wanna do animal play. He won’t use a collar or leash or treat you like a pet. He loves you in a different way than his animals.

O = (Oral) as much as Gundham adores when you blow him, he almost always cums too quickly without meaning to, and usually tells you not to do it. He’ll always happily give you oral though. He loves making you feel so blissful with his mouth

P = (Pace) slow and long, but also deep and hard. He wants to be buried inside of you, but never want it to end.

Q = (Quickie) oh yes. Shower quickies, after work quickies, just because quickies, waiting for dinner to finish quickies. But he also loves to make an entire evening out of having sex with you.

R = (Risk) yes and frequently! As mentioned before he’s never gotten to experiment with sex or kinks before meeting you, so the two of you have tried a lot of stuff.

S = (Stamina) at most he cums 3 times, but usually just two within like and hour and a half of foreplay and sex. He likes orgasm deprivation remember? Wink wink

T = (toy) can’t say you two haven’t used any toys ever. You’ve both been handcuffed, whipped, blindfolded, and tied up

U = (Unfair) he doesn’t like teasing you at all. He always feels bad and gives in as soon as you start to beg him. But he fucking loves when you tease him. At first, becoming such a whimpering mess was embarrassing for him. But now he’s obsessed with it.

V = (Volume) He isn’t quiet by any means, but he’s not the loudest. Gundham’s voice is so deep that all of his moans, groans, and grunts are very very loud in your ears. He also screams when he talks without realizing it sometimes, so you can imagine he accidentally gets real loud sometimes.

W = (Weird fact) if you’re ever trying to get him horny, wear something sexy in the color black. As the true overlord of the underworld, he loves black, and he always thinks you look so sexy in it. Especially when you’re trying to be sexy.

X = (X-Ray) 9 and a half inches. hard. When he told you that you literally didn’t believe him and eventually made him measure for you and prove it. He knows how to work it too.

Y = (Yearning) he doesn’t just want to fuck you. He wants to make passionate love to you every night of his life. He’s grown addicted to your body, and you feel the exact same for him. That’s why you have so many quickies and long long nights together. Because you both crave each others touch so frequently.

Z = (ZZZ) as stated before he loves to make you two tea and watch a movie in bed. Typically the two of you watch half the movie, finish the tea, and pause it to take the dishes to the sink and use the restroom. Sometimes somebody makes a snack to enjoy in bed once you resume the movie, and cuddling. 9 times out of 10, you fall asleep first, on his shirtless chest, arms wrapped around him tight. Doing his best not to move, he turns the tv off and adjusts the two of you to lie down more; and he falls asleep holding you to his chest.

[nightswithkookmin]

From Jimin: To the hyungs Jungkook is just my little brother...

I have no idea what that says. But if this is what he said, then definitely it leaves room for interpretation because it's an incomplete statement. You don't need to know the nuances of the language to understand that that statement is a sentence fragment that expresses an incomplete thought on the surface of it.

The omission of a second clause implies the opposite of what was said in the first. It's as simple as that.

The question anyone would ask upon hearing that is, so... he's more? Or, so he's not your little brother?

Makes sense...

But I've seen other translations such as, to the hyungs JK is like my little brother and in other instance, Jk is our little brother etc.

Makes you wonder if these interpretations took the context of the conversation into consideration or even why Jimin would make such a statement in the first place in their attempts to provide nuance.

"SUGA: Jungkook is good at everything

J-hope: Jungkook always surprises us. he changed his style recently!

Jimin: The hyungs all think he's like my actual little brother.

V: Jungkook is good at keeping his focus

JK: Everything about Jungkook is pretty!"

It's Jungkook from the members' lens.

When you interpret Jimin's bit within this context then it's more likely he is trying to highlight his dynamic with Jungkook more than anything, mainly to the effect that Jungkook is perhaps obedient, likeable, sweet, puppy etc.

Comparing Jungkook to his actual little brother is a compliment and perhaps has a much deeper meaning than mere friendships in my opinion. It shows just how close, more than co workers they are, how more than friends they are, how really close they are.

I don't know why shippers shy away from comparisons to family bond when in fact the bond of family is the greatest bond one could ever have.

BTS do have a habit of liking their bond to that of family- and they love to show that bond off.

It's interesting seeing Jikook through the lens of the members when most times the bond of those two are invalidated, watered down and downplayed.

Everyone would have us believe Jikook are sworn enemies from rival states. So however you wanna interpret what he said, there's value in taking things at face value. You don't need to do too too much with it to try to get its meaning across because then that would be analysis and analysis are always subjective and subject to our own confirmation biases.

To the hyungs, he's like my little brother, he is just my little brother, he's like our little brother- all have the same sentiment if taken from the perspective of that whatever JM said was intended as a compliment to Jungkook.

Perhaps Jungkook treats JM just like a younger brother would a Hyung- given the culture of respect between hyung/dongsaengs, given the way hyungs are expected to take care of their dongsaengs, given the emphasis BTS places on their bond, honorifics culture...

Perhaps he means, Jungkook treats me in such a way you'd think he were my actual younger brother- a theme which to me is in line with that whole Jimin treats me better than my own brother does or the numerous times he's compared him to his own brother or something along those lines.

They love eachother very much. Whether that is platonic or romantic is up for debate but I don't think after this anyone can invalidate their bond or gaslight is into thinking those two aren't close at all.

If the members see them as this close then it really puts an end to this whole Jungkook is uncomfortable with Jimin nonsense.

The busan bros, the busans, the sun and moon duo, the exceptionally close pair, the hyungs all think Jungkook is like my actual little brother etc

They all have a similar vibe to me.

I guess what I'm saying is, I don't care much about the nuances of the language in this context or in any context to be honest as the intention behind the text is pretty obvious💀

To me he is either providing the hyungs' perspective to affirm his dynamic with Jungkook or to affirm all that he's been saying of his dynamic with JK which is that JK is like a little brother to him just as he repeated in Festa.

To highlight and affirm their bond or to compliment Jungkook like the other's were in this instance.

This is the diagram some Karny drew to explain the nuances of the text.

And here I thought I was extra chilee.

I'm not mad at this. Love when a moment brings out the delulu in yall's eyes😭🤣🤣

I don't know why we are hung on Jimin's words out of all the statements that were made trying to dissect and over analyse it.

On one hand I feel some people are over sensationalizing while others are just plain invalidating Jikook's bonds- especially over something Jimin of all people would say.

He slick slick. I'll give him that. And he loves him some double entendres. But he's also usually the one to use dictum that makes it easier for his words and meaning to be translated- if they get translated. So it's fascinating to see the confusion his words are creating out in these streets. It really ain't that deep if you ask me chilee.

Alas, we are all adults and we all have different perspectives on these things. I'd say, find a source you trust based on their track record and stick with it. Do your own analysis or seek out others' perspectives on it. This is mine and how I take it- regardless of what any Karmy says😊

My delusions are mine and mine alone. No disrespect to Karmy. In fact, yall great people doing great holding it down for the gays🤭

Also disclaimer, I'm not a translator and any translation used here isn't mine.

In conclusion,

Hyuna screws her dongsaeng and Rain fucks his Noona. Dead that whole Jikook womb mates shit before I lay my paws on ya.

Please pls Jikook is louder than this🙄

Jeonlous counts. Keep your wokeness yo yourself please. You must be in the wrong industry if you think you have to live by a code of ethic in these ship streets.

There is no ethical nor moderate consumption of ships under shipping. There is nothing like ethical or moderate shipping for the holier than thou shippers in the back.

We all ghetto ma'am. You might as well go all out😴

My favorite line from their song though is when Hyuna sings, "I'm finna tell my father about us and pledge eternity to you. You have to be careful always though, there are lots of pretty girls out there. We have to tell the world, I can't share you with another girl."

Eventually they told the world🤭

Their careers suffered but they did it anyway.

Please no nondelusional, fake woke, moderate shipper person should tell it to me when I talk about Jungkook's frustration to come out with their relationship and come act like it's illogical hence implausible for him to want to come out etc😒

I like my delulu perspective better😌

Peace.

GOLDY

[blu-joons]

DATING SEVENTEEN A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Kwon Soonyoung

A ⇴ AFFECTION 

Soonyoung is always incredibly soft with any affection that he gives you, he loves to have his arms around you, whether it’s your waist, neck, or shoulders, he’ll take whatever he can get when it comes to being close to you.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 

You were instantly drawn the charming smile he had when the two of you first went to the same coffee store. He caught your eye in the queue, and you could only manage a smile back at him before the waitress called you forwards and took your order, aware that Soonyoung’s eyes were firmly watching you.

C ⇴ CONFESSION 

The two of you coincidentally kept bumping into each other at the store most mornings, almost as if it was fate. You never said a word to each other until one time you went to give your order only to be told it was already sorted. Soonyoung had learnt your order off by heart and paid for your coffee when he saw you walking into the store on the promise that you’d let him take you out for dinner whenever you had the time.

D ⇴ DATES 

You’re both fond of adventuring on your dates and exploring plenty of new places. Soonyoung will drive you around for hours to find hotspots for dates and quiet places. Sometimes just driving around is enough for the two of you, especially at night. You’ll stop by a drive-thru and order yourselves from food, turn the speakers up high in the car and just go in whichever direction you decide, making the most of the peace and quiet from it all and also the time that you get to spend with each other and just be able to talk.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 

Soonyoung had zero dating experience before he met you, and so he relied on those around him to give him a lot of tips when it first came to impressing you. You could tell that he was nervous when your relationship first began, he often mumbled apologies out of fear that he was doing something wrong or had perhaps missed a trick. It took a lot of reassurance from you to allow him to settle and trust that what he was doing was alright, but as he learned more about dating, he definitely began to settle in your relationship more too.

F ⇴ FIGHTING 

If there’s ever something that has upset you or angered you, Soonyoung is always very understanding and willing to help to make a change. He’s not someone who gets upset if you find yourself wanting to argue, he’s the first to admit that he’s not perfect, and if he can do something to make your life easier, then he’ll definitely do it. Similarly, with you, if something frustrates him about you, he’ll understand that the two of you are different people and at sometimes differences can appear, it’s just about working through it and moving forwards. It takes a lot to argue with him, or at least try and create a disagreement between you both.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY 

Finding the time in Soonyoung’s busy schedule is hard to be able to meet his family, but whenever he has the chance, he’ll take you to visit his family. They’ve heard enough about you from Soonyoung to know that they’ll love you but meeting you in person far exceeds all of their expectations for the person that you are.

H ⇴ HOME 

He often spends more time at the studio then his home anyway, so Soonyoung won’t be too fussed wherever he settles. If it’s easier for him to head back to the dorm at night, then he will, or if yours is better, he’ll arrive there. Soonyoung is in no rush to find a place together, which you’re understanding of when he’s so busy.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 

When he came home from tour and reunited with you, Soonyoung couldn’t help but tell you that he loved you. He never imagined that he’d struggle as much as he did with not being able to see you, but as he thought about it, the emotions that he felt of not being able to be around you added up to one answer, that he loved you.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY 

Soonyoung is someone who is full of confidence, so he’ll pit himself against any other guy quite happily and know that you’d pick him, therefore he doesn’t tend to get jealous too often. He also appreciates that you have other people in your life who aren’t him, and so if you want to spend your time with someone else, then he’ll understand that and won’t allow himself to get jealous. Although he can’t hide the fact that he’ll be relieved when you get home to him, and answer all of his questions about how your day was.

K ⇴ KIDS 

The two of you talked about your future from time to time, finding it important to see if you were on the same trajectories. Soonyoung loved to tell you all about how he hoped to be able to teach his children dancing in the future, having kids was a huge deal to him, but having children that would hopefully follow in his footsteps was a thought that made him very happy, and very excited for a future with you too.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER 

There is never a bad day whenever you’re in Soonyoung’s company, he’s one of the main members who can help to create a light and happy atmosphere. He also hates whenever you’ve had a bad day and come home sad, he always works hard to pick up anyone when they’re feeling down, but especially you. He’ll work tirelessly to try and make you smile again, no matter how long it takes or how down you’re feeling. He cares a lot about making sure that you live a happy life with him, and will put all his efforts into making you laugh, cracking joke after joke and forever making cheeky remarks that will make you grin.

M ⇴ MISSING 

The true sign that the other members need to know that Soonyoung is missing you is when his own mood drops, and he becomes quiet. He’s always the one to pick the others up, so they’ll be the first ones there to pick him up whenever he needs it too. He’ll force a smile onto his face whenever he calls you, because he knows that you miss him. and he doesn’t want to make things worse for you. Not having him around to brighten the mood will be hard on all of the boys, they rely on him too, so they’ll try desperately to pick him up, not just for his own sake, but for keeping the moral of the rest of the group high as well.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

You often end up calling Soonyoung, ‘energiser,’ because he just never stops. If he’s not dancing or singing, he’s talking or running around the place looking after you, he never seems to take a moment to breathe.  

O ⇴ OBSESSION 

He’s obsessed with your smile and making sure that you’re happy. Just the thought of you being down is heart breaking for him, so he’ll do whatever he can to make you smile.

P ⇴ PDA 

Soonyoung is confident in your relationship, so he definitely doesn’t mind about being affectionate with you in public. Whilst he doesn’t do anything to draw attention to the two of you, the way he holds you in public sends a clear message to those watching you both that he’s in love with you and a very happy guy too.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS 

Whenever he comes up with a new routine or sequence, Soonyoung will often ask you about it and see what you think. Your opinion means a lot to him, and so any steps that get approval from you instantly go towards the group too.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 

His phone album is full of random photos of you that he’s taken over the years. Quite a few of them are unflattering and taken from the worst angles, but those ones are also Soonyoung’s favourites because even though you’re at your worst, he still loves the way you look. Every single photo goes a long way to helping him when he’s on tour and picking his mood up whenever he’s missing you, bringing a smile back to his face.

S ⇴ SEX 

Soonyoung has a lot of energy when it comes to getting intimate with you, he never tires, and never complains either. He’s always very physical around you, he loves to keep you nice and close and guide you into positions that he loves to get you in. There’s never too much distance between the two of you, and if you start to tire, then Soonyoung will encourage you to relax and let him do all the work to make you feel good.

T ⇴ TEXTS 

If he’s not able to see you throughout the day, then he’ll often send you videos of the things that he’s getting up to so you can still feel as if you’re there with him and take note of the places he’s visits for your future date nights too.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE 

Your support is by far the thing that means the most to Soonyoung, knowing that he has someone who is permanently backing him and pushing him to achieve his dreams is the boost he needs to make sure that he keeps going.

V ⇴ VACATION 

Going on holiday is a treat for you both regardless of where you are in the world. The two of you will often decide on a place, and if you can’t, you’ll take a globe and drop a pin in it, wherever it lands, the two of you go. As long as you’re adventuring then you’re both happy no matter where you are in the world.

W ⇴ WHINING 

Soonyoung tends to lean towards liking your attention, and whilst he can deal without it for a while, if you leave it too long, he’ll let you know about it.

X ⇴ XXXXX 

Kisses from Soonyoung are always soft and sweet, whenever he has you in his hold it becomes an instinct for him to press a kiss against your cheek or against the side of your head. For him, your kisses are another form of support, almost as if you’re sealing your approval that he’s doing well and reminding him that you’re right there with him. They’re incredibly comforting and reassuring for him to know that you’re there.

Y ⇴ YOU 

You’re his number one fan, always his cheerleader on the side-lines supporting him.

Z ⇴ ZZZ 

He loves to be close to you at night, it’s comforting for him to be able to feel the quiet sounds of your breath and the feeling of you wriggling beside him as you try to get comfortable, settling eventually in his arms.

---

Masterlist

[amysteriousmessenger]

RFA (+ Saeran and V) under the Mistletoe Headcanons

Happy Christmas! I can’t guarantee that I’m free enough to get any writing done on Christmas day so I thought I would write and post this for you all now, Merry Christmas, love from Violet <3

Yoosung Kim Under the Mistletoe Headcanons 

The baby is nervous, he wouldn’t have noticed the Mistletoe until it was pointed out to him by Seven and by that point, the two of you were already underneath it. 

He was immediately a flustered mess and cursed Seven for putting it up in case it made you feel pressured. Yoosung didn’t want you to be uncomfortable , but in reality he was the one feeling embarrassed. He wanted to kiss you, but he was shy. 

The two of you stood next to one another, nervous eyes glancing between mistletoe and eachothers lips. 

Yoosung closed his eyes and moved closer to kiss you, his heart thudding loudly against his ribcage. You had closed your eyes pre-emptively and waited for the kiss...that didn’t touch your lips. He missed, and planted a kiss right onto the tip of your nose.

Yoosung opened his eyes and realised what he had done, instantly wanting the ground to swallow him up. Seven was about to burst out laughing but you then kissed Yoosung on the tip of his nose and blushed. 

He was so happy and didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night, regardless of how much Seven and Zen bullied him for missing your lips in the first place.

Zen/Hyun Ryu Under the Mistletoe Headcanons

Zen wasn’t really one for Christmas, but he certainly liked the idea of kissing you underneath a mistletoe. He was probably gifted a spring of the plant from one of his productions as an end-of-run gift. 

He would leave it hidden in his room until you came over to visit him for the evening, at which point he would nonchalantly dangle it over your head whilst you were cooking dinner. His expression sat somewhere between adorning and smug as you blushed and looked away.

Zen put his finger underneath your chin and lifted your head to meet your gaze: ‘Jagiya~ You know what a mistletoe is for, please don’t hide your face away from me...’ He winked.

You lifted yourself up onto your tiptoes to grant him access to your lips. You closed your eyes and let him instigate the kiss. He quickly put the mistletoe down behind you and snaked his hands around your waist: unwilling to let the kiss part just yet. 

This was a kiss that definitely had the potential to get a little more heated, but the food you were cooking started to burn in the pan. 

Jaehee Kang Under the Mistletoe Headcanons 

It was time to decorate the coffee shop for Christmas, and you would be gazing at Jaehee as she hung various streamers and snowflakes up from the ceiling around the store. You were practicing with the new limited edition festive drinks and had finally managed to perfect the Salted Caramel Hot chocolate and felt like you wanted a break.

Jaehee was really tired and practically running on automatic, so you went over to help her, handing her item by item until you had an idea. You handed her a few more Santa faces until you slipped a sprig of Mistletoe into her hand and she had already stuck it onto the ceiling before she had come to realise what it was and stuttered out your name.

She asked if this was an actual piece of decoration from the box, or if this was your plan all along, to which you you replied it was innocently an old piece from the box but admitted it was a moment of spontaneity to hand it to her. 

��Ah I see. Well, I suppose I shall indulge you anyway.’ She replied with a smile, and quickly leaned down off the top of the ladder and placed a small, chaste kiss onto the corner of your mouth. 

There was a light dusting of blushing smiles between the both of you before the door bell chimed, signalling that a customer required your assistance. 

Saeyoung Choi Under the Mistletoe Headcanons 

Seven practically uses the Mistletoe to get as many kisses as he can possibly cram into a day when he’s in a needy mood, which is basically the whole of December. He also uses them to win you over when he’s been particularly annoying or played one too many pranks on you during the day, he knows you can’t resist a goofy smile and a kiss from him when he asks for one so earnestly. 

Seven appears behind you with the sprig already dangling above you in his hand, saying to ‘Guess who?~’ to which you reply ‘Yoosung?’ just to catch him off guard. You already know what he’s doing. 

Once you turn around and he wraps his free arm around you, he pulls you in to a toothy kiss full of smiles and laughs. He’s not overly great at being romantic, but being Cheesy? He’s got that in the bag.

Depending how much free time he has, this is also one of those kisses that could end up getting a little more heated. 

However, Vanderwood is entirely exhausted of Seven goofing off work just to mess a around with a stupid little plant and starts binning any of the ones he finds. 

Jumin Han Under the Mistletoe Headcanons

He didn’t put these decorations up, one of the staff looking after his apartment must have done so. Jumin isn’t one for Christmas, at all. He appreciates the seasonal wine but that’s about it, his family have never really been one for festivities and he didn’t particularly plan on starting now. 

Jumin doesn’t particularly understand why you’re blushing under the plant, and still doesn’t really get it even after you explain it to him. Whilst he enjoyed your adorable timidity in that moment, you were no stranger to his kisses and he would gladly offer you his attention whenever you asked for it, he didn’t need a plant for it. 

When he saw that you were slightly disappointed that it seemed as though you weren’t going to receive a mistletoe kiss, he immediately pulled you towards him with one hand cupping your jaw and other supporting your lower back as he dipped you into a kiss. 

Jumin wouldn’t half-ass this kiss, he would want it to be everything you hoped for. This man doesn’t disappoint.

Jihyun Kim/V Under the Mistletoe Headcanons 

It would be at one of his expeditions, the studio has organised their own decorations for the holidays and V wasn’t particularly bothered about whether they were up or not as long as they didn’t take away from the integrity of his work. Besides, the decorations were rather tasteful and you seemed to like them.

Once the showcase had begun to die down, you and V were able to sit and share some glasses of wine and converse with Jumin, who had stayed behind to spend some time with his friend. It was fun and you enjoyed the more relaxed atmosphere now that it wasn’t so busy, which meant you actually had the chance to hear yourself think. Eventually, Jumin excused himself to go home and it was just you and V left in the studio.

It wasn’t until then that you started to move closer to him, leaning your head on his shoulder as he sipped at his glass. You made small conversations with eachother until you noticed the plant clinging to the ceiling, just slightly to the side of V. 

You point it out to him and he chuckled, wondering how he hadn’t noticed it before. 

He turned his head towards you, using his free hand to move your hair behind your shoulder so he had access to place a kiss on your cheek, and then another on the side of your neck. Perhaps it was the wine you shared, but you felt warm and flushed under his touch. He kept his fingertips grazing the bare skin next to your neckline before he cupped your face and bring it towards his own for another kiss, this time on the lips.

Saeran Choi Under the Mistletoe Headcanons 

Saeran felt very conflicted about Christmas, he enjoyed all the nice food and the snow granted but frequently the festivities were a little overwhelming for him and the cold weather meant that he had to put his garden away for several months. 

He was somewhat jaded at the fact he felt as though he missed out on being able to enjoy Christmas, and that his clown of a brother makes up for it for the both of them. He does, however, enjoy hearing and learning about all the little details of the celebrations which seemed so alien to him, he doesn’t like not knowing or not understanding things so he’ll listen whenever you talk about it.

One day, you would have shown him a Christmas movie in which a mistletoe appears and gushed to him at the romance of it, which he didn’t know about. You then explained that when two people meet under a mistletoe sprig, traditions say that they kiss. But you then assured him that nowadays people only really do it with their partners, and that he wouldn’t be expected to kiss Yoosung anytime soon. 

The next day, you came back from grocery shopping to find that there was a very small sprig of the plant sellotaped in Saeran’s doorway and he was hovering near it, but not close enough to seem as though he was waiting for you.

You asked him about the plant, and he muttered that his idiot brother must have put it up (despite the fact that it was the only one in that house) and you attempted to nonchalantly walk past, as though you believed him brushing it off. Before you had a chance to leave, you felt him reach out for the end of your sleeve and held it so you couldn’t leave.

He was blushing and averting your gaze, and above everything else; he was refusing to look at the mistletoe. Your heart fluttered, you knew what he was trying to do.

‘Saeran, would you like to kiss under the mistletoe?’ You asked, gently pulling him to be in the doorway underneath the plant. - ‘Y-yeah... if you want to.’ 

The two of you shared a very tender kiss, it was soft and innocent but with emotion. Saeran treated you like a princess, his princess, every time the two of you kissed, but it felt so special knowing that he had gotten the mistletoe just to make you happy.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Grievances and Cuteness - BTS on You Quiz on the Block

by Admin 1

Today BTS were guests on You Quiz on the Block, a very popular Korean variety show on tvN, and it was a wonderful mix of fun and hilarious, but also serious, vulnerable and honest. Seeing as we don’t have subtitles yet, merely the things our marvelous translator ARMYs managed to translate for us—the episode was 100 minutes long so there was a lot going on and being said—I don’t want to get into detail in this post and instead will wait with that until we have subs and I’ll be able to sit down and watch it properly again, focus on things that stick out to me and I would want to talk about. So that I can do their words justice.

Instead I want to use this post to air some of my grievances, directed at fellow ARMY, “ARMY” and shippers, as well as just gush a little about a few cute moments. The more serious things will be in a different post sometime soon. I hope that’s okay.

Grievances

What is the point of Bangtan going on a show like this, especially one that is broadcast on national TV and very popular with the general public? It’s to share not only their funny side but also their honest and genuine one, share stories that, though some we’ve heard before as ARMY, they’re things the general public doesn’t necessarily know. The point of them sharing vulnerable moments and memories with us is to simply be honest and transparent, something they’ve always highlighted as important to them.

What is the part we play in this, what is it that we should do? We are simply supposed to listen, understand the things they are telling us, put things into perspective so we know what they felt in certain moments and periods of their lives, understand that they’re human too with struggles, fears and sadness, and we should cherish the fact that they tell us any of it at all. They could just as well only show up whenever there’s a new album and comeback and then disappear again, share nothing personal at all and put on entirely fake personas. But they don’t. And we should be grateful for that and happy because of it.

Now, the reason why I even wanted to write this in the first place is this:

Many, and I mean many have decided that instead of doing what I’ve highlighted a moment ago, a far better course of action would be to twist their words, manipulate them, use them to victimize the members (and especially Seokjin), and try to overanalyze them in favor of their desired narratives and especially their ships, even if whatever was being said had absolutely nothing to do with any ship at all.

Before the episode even finished airing, solos/mantis were already up in arms “crying” about mistreatment and victimizing Seokjin because *insert demands they have no right to make at all* and when Seokjin, bless him, was on weverse, he actually replied to a post where he basically said that parts of what he said were too sad/depressing, so he simply asked the You Quiz staff to cut them out, which would explain why he seemed to have “less to say” during his interview section with Yoongi. Did that help? Of course not. Even though it showed not only that he did say more, that he likely said more vulnerable things, but also that he made the decision for himself that he did not want to share that yet, because he’s not ready for it or because he came to the conclusion that he simply doesn’t want to period, and that his wish for them to cut it out was met. Even though it wasn’t BH controlled content, but You Quiz.

More below the cut:

What does this tell us? The members have control over what is aired and what is not. If they feel something is too personal or would come across wrong, they can voice objection and chances are their words will be met and followed. They aren’t victims in need of saving, aren’t helpless boys with no idea what they’re doing. They are serious musicians, respected and treated well. This is a good thing and I’m glad he told us that, even if many don’t want to hear it and immediately claimed that “oh yeah BH told him to shut us up”. The mental gymnastics some are willing to do to make things fit their agenda truly baffles me sometimes.

On the other hand, I’ve seen shippers try to twist words or put others into the members mouths to push their agenda, and we’ve even had one or two asks being sent to us basically sadly wondering if maybe Tae isn’t who we thought he is for Jimin, and neither is Hobi, because of something Jimin said. Even though the thing Jimin said had quite literally nothing to do with either Tae or Hobi. In a way, I get where such vminnies are coming from, as vminnies we would love to just hear vmin talk about each other all day because it’s cute and we love their bond and stories, but it’s not like we didn’t get that. Because we did. Unprompted. Jimin mentioned Tae during their trio interview and told a story, even if we’ve heard it before to a certain degree. And yet it still wasn’t enough? Like come on, please don’t do this. Don’t reduce everything the members do and say to just ship related and non-ship related (thus uninteresting) statements and actions, as though the latter is worth less.

Here is the moment in question:

The way I see it, the only thing we should take away from this is that despite these very human fears and struggles, wonderings if people only care about Jimin because he is BTS Jimin and not Park Jimin, he still had and has good people in his life that’ll remind him that he is appreciated and loved for who he is, and not just for his celebrity status. Friends even outside of Bangtan. Why do we have to take something so incredibly personal, this moment of vulnerability from Jimin, and try to overanalyze it? To twist it to fit a ship? Regardless which one. Or to twist it to fit some kind of narrative, whatever one it may be? Please don’t do that.

Sure, Admin 2 noticed his use of ‘chingu’ when talking about this friend that told him that, and sure it reminded me of what Jimin said to Tae in the FESTA 2020 Rolling Paper, but neither Admin 2 nor I will go and claim that oh he must’ve been talking about Tae but didn’t want to use his name to avoid XYZ because we are not in his head and, at the end of the day, it’s irrelevant who exactly said that to him. That wasn’t the point of that story. Like at all. So why are some people disregarding the point in favor of speculations? Why are some completely ignoring his words, downplaying them as just potential ship material instead of appreciating the fact that he told us that at all?

It’s unfair toward Jimin, and the other members as well when they tell similar stories. Their lives aren’t fictional stories that revolve around romance. They are real people with real lives and more friends than just their fellow members and that’s a good thing since it surely gives them the opportunity to feel less isolated, cut off from the world by nature of their occupation and status. Besides, in the past Tae said something similar as well, how he used to be a social butterfly and make friends easily wherever they went but eventually he understood that people didn’t really care about Kim Taehyung and instead just wanted to know BTS V and be able to use that to brag, so he stopped being so outgoing. And we’ve also seen Jimin talk about cutting out friends in the past if they said something negative about Bangtan, then, a few years later, saying that he’s grown more as a person and learned to not allow these things to affect him as much, to surround himself with genuine people.

So, in light of what he said in that segment, we should be happy for him. And that’s it.

We also saw people use what Tae said about his dad to push the he must be 100% heterosexual because he said he wants to be a dad narrative which, where do I even start. Perhaps with the fact that this statement relies on a mistranslation? Because he didn’t say he wants to be a dad but that he wants to be a person like his dad, that’s his dream. Perhaps with the blatant homophobia this statement is laced in? The disregard for how queer people can also want to have kids, be parents, just like anyone else? Perhaps with how these things oddly seem to just be done to Tae and Namjoon, and especially Tae to use it for ship purposes?

Instead of jumping to conclusions, overanalyzing stories we are not supposed to analyze but instead to simply appreciate, please wait until we’ll have the full episode with subtitles (even though from the past we know that some of it may be simplified so reading what our translators wrote is also a good thing to get the whole picture) and even then, just enjoy their silliness and listen to their words of honesty. Listen to the fact that their fame was and continues to be a heavy weight on their shoulders, how instead of becoming cocky assholes they remained humble and genuine because that’s the kind of people they are and want to be, listen to what they want you to hear and now what you want to hear.

Also, to shippers—this isn’t the place to look for ship content of any kind, for some romantic confessions or whatever, because this was about Bangtan as seven members and their stories of the last ten and a half years since Namjoon joined BH and the idea for BTS was started.

Cute and silly things

Now that that's done, let’s talk about some fun and cute things to lighten the mood, shall we?

One of my favorite moments was when the MIC DROP ARMY came in as a surprise for the members, her confidence was off the charts and the guys looked so genuinely happy. After all it’s been so many months since they’ve last seen ARMY! And I’m so glad she was such a wonderful representative for us all, how she didn’t react with fear or shyness, didn’t scream or cry, but instead did her thing like a Queen. And the way the members reacted when she sent them a finger heart during one of the dances? Absolutely adorable! 

Also, she truly must’ve saved some kind of nation, or maybe two, in her past life since she also was gifted a chicken leg pillow by Tae. He’s just so kind and lovely.

Then we had the members play a game of trying to guess a song merely by the first second (I think) and then having to sing it, though who sang which part didn’t follow the actual order in the song but was chosen by someone off screen which meant that, for example, Tae was doing one of the rap line verses as well as singing Jimin’s part in another, Hobi showed off his vocal skills, and of course, the highlight, Namjoon singing a part from Spring Day. Even though we know Namjoon’s skills when it comes to singing are not the greatest, which I mean in a very loving way, no tea no shade, and yet he still went for it. It was hilarious and cute and showed that he is willing to be silly even if others might laugh at his expense.

Sometime after the episode aired Namjoon actually came onto Weverse to talk about the episode and, among other things, apologized for not singing Seokjin’s guide all that well. One thing I’d like to point out is how, originally, he wrote Jinhyung but then changed it to Seokjinie hyung, which is just a small and precious little detail:

Another cute moment was during ‘dance mafia’ when Tae turned to Jimin to ask him if they did well and Jimin replied that yes, he did well (both using this adorably soft tone with each other), they also hugged for a moment while smiling brightly. See, I said not to look for ship moments, but this is just cute regardless if you ship vmin or not. Admin 2 though would like to comment on how they could’ve given us that hug from a camera that’s a little further away so we could have a more proper look, or a longer shot of it, please?

Honestly that game was hilarious and the members who were mafia did a wonderful job tricking the others, particularly JK was fantastic at it since the second time around no one suspected him at all. Also, the fluffy ear muffs with cat (?) ears on them were adorable. At the end of the segment they were all supposed to strike a pose but Tae didn’t manage to put his ear muffs back on, so they fell to the ground and so Jimin lightly hit/caressed his chest and turned toward the MCs to ask if they could try again so that Tae could look good in it as well.

Actually, speaking of adorable in regard to Jimin, when they were introduced at the beginning of the show as RM-jagi-nim, jagi-nim being the name used for all the guests on the show and also the name on the necklace (given to guests who are fans of the show by the producers) Jimin showed off on weverse in his selcas, Jimin corrected the MC that it’s not Jimin-jagi-nim but Mini-jagi-nim which just…my heart. Too cute.

Lastly, I want to mention how all of them were asked what the first sentence would be if their lives were a book and their answers were just so very…them.

Namjoon: Predictions in life often turn out to be wrong

Tae: I’m a chameleon

Hobi: Dear, people who’ve helped to lead me here

Yoongi: You lived life to the fullest/hard/well

Seokjin: Dope, worldwide class!

Jimin: What kind of life do you want to live?

Jungkook: Hello?

Overall it was an amazing episode that was so fun to watch even without really being able to understand any of what was being said. Still the members genuine personalities shone through brightly and I’m glad they had fun and felt comfortable, especially since it’s been a while since they were last on Korean variety shows and some of their past experiences were…not great. I can’t wait to watch it again once we have subs and to write a more proper post about it then. I hope you didn’t mind this more…serious and “angry” post and understand where I’m coming from with my complaints, but also that you enjoyed the cute moments I highlighted.

[verytiredowl]

A character analysation of IdV’s Bloody Queen

Bloody Queen AKA Mary is a hunter in the mobile/PC game Identity V. She is personally my favorite hunter because she is easy to learn but hard to master. Her backstory is something that has always interested me though, so i decided to compile my thoughts onto this one post.

Something i appreciate about IdV’s character roster is that some of them are based off of historical characters, and interesting ones at that. So expect a lot of history lessons and references that should be explained in order to understand a character fully (especially with Mary considering how there isn’t a lot shown about her backstory through promotional content, and im talking about stuff like the official website here).

With that in mind, let’s just get into it.

There is not a lot we know about Mary other than the fact that she is inspired from a mix of stories, those being about a French queen named Marie Antoinette and Bloody Mary. These two are used in seperate ways, Marie Antoinette’s story being used as heavy inspiration for Mary’s backstory and lore, while Bloody Mary is a visual/gameplay inspiration.

Mary’s description on her info page and on the official idv website is 

This is strange because it really tells little to nothing about Mary besides her being aware that the position of a queen means a lot of vulnerability. It also strikes me as weird because every other hunter has a fleshed out backstory being written under this tab. (With the exception of Guard 26)

So overall, the ground to work on is pretty small, we dont have a lot of info revealed to us, and therefore leaves her to be a character who loses a lot of potential on a writing stance.

Intro Video

Mary does have an introduction video, though, which explains the base of what happened to her Pre-manor. 

The video explains how Mary was the queen of a country that had a bad financial crisis which was so bad people couldn’t afford food (if we are sticking fully to the Marie Antoinette inspo, this was in the 1790′s) and the public felt as if Mary didn’t care enough to help her people, the citizens voted her to be beheaded under a guillotine. Truth be told, Mary was actually trying to help her citizens by giving them cake.

We have probably the most lore information about Mary from her deduction descriptions, which explain her career as a queen more in detail, about struggles she had and her situation in general.

Deductions

(Credits to u/mawile94 on Reddit for the images)

The first conclusion is clearly telling us that the king Mary married had a problematic family, and the king’s family probably only looked at Mary as someone who will keep the family’s name up, someone who will have a child with the king. (Also, dont get confused: Maria Theresia is Mary’s mother’s name, not her actual name.)

Mary used to spend a lot of time away from the palace in Petit Trianon, which is a manor located in Versailles. The secret letter tells us that Mary was egoistic, naive, and was kind of a glutton. The letter mentions how rumors are powerful, and are going to spread really fast once word comes out about the “incompetence” and lacking abilities witihin the royal family, which will eventually be Mary’s demise.

Princess Lamballe is once again a historical recreation of actual Priness Lamballe, a part of the Savoy House (Western EU country). In real life, Lamballe was actually the confidante (someone who you would discuss private matters with as a royal) of Marie Antoinette after her 1 year old marriage came to an end. IRL, Princess Lambelle dies along Marie Antoinette’s side as she gets killed in the French Revolution. 

The shameful secret can really only be assumed to mean that Lamballe was actually Mary’s secret affair, especially looking at how all evidence suggests that the actual royal family Mary is connected to seems to be a mess. Mary is kind of confirmed to be wlw from this deduction which is fucking cool, but this rumor mightve been what also caused Mary to be beheaded. (But, IRL, the king Artois considered Marie to be physicially unattractive or even smart enough for him, in contrary to him, where he apparently was attractive. He did end up making up with quite a number of mistresses. But let’s not get into a conversation about how unhealthy or toxic royal relationships were in the 1700′s)

this is obviously saying Lamballe is being replaced by the Yolande (Countess of Polignac) as her confidante. IRL, this happens because the Countess of Pilognac and Lamballe start having quarrels against each other, in which they try to win over the queen’s heart, and over time Marie ends up preferring Yolande’s company. But Lamballe feels as if Yolande was a bad influence on the queen, yet she could do nothing about it. The friendship between Lamballe and Marie remained regardless, and she constantly admired Lamballe’s loyalty toward her.  "She is the only woman I know who never bears a grudge; neither hatred nor jealousy is to be found in her." 

Mary finally has a child, and it is a girl. Here we see the reinforcement of Lamballe’s loyalty, but with this conclusion also being titled as a rumor, it is also telling that this is one of many reasons people will start getting suspicious of Mary’s possible affairs.  

This conclusion only leads me to believe that one of the several reasons why Mary was treated the way she was by the public was because of jealousy towards her life and the things she achieved at a young age. The description of the people who are spreading the rumors are bitter, sour people who take joy out of seeing the bad in successful people. Here is where it all goes downhill (as evident by the subtitle under the deduction title.)

We will once again need a little bit of a history lesson for this one:

Koblenz, first of all is a city in Germany. The reason why the French would ever think of even setting up anything in Germany was because of the French Immigrants, and the reason why the Germans were cool about this was because the archbishop-elector (one of the chiep bishop electors) was the uncle of Louis XVI-a persecuted king of France. Along with the refugees that entered the city, two of them was Louis XVI’s brothers: The Count of Provence and the Count of Artois. them, along with Louis XVI’s cousin, Prince Louis Joseph formed an army of aristocrats who would seek to fight for the Ancien Regimé (The name of the political and social system that was popular in France at the time.) In the meantime back in France, the Royal Family gave in and decided to adopt the  Constitutional Monarchy, which was very modern at the time. This deduction description just basically explains that this is where Mary and the royal family fucks up, i just thought it would be interesting to know what they actually meant by what they wrote.

Yolande has left behind the Royal Family and made a run to escape the country. If you’re wondering, at the start of the revolution Princess Lamballe was actually in Switzerland, but as soon as she got notified of the situation she revisited the royal family to aid them, and reassumed her position.

This letter in particular is pretty cut-and-clear: the intention of the revolutionists was to smudge the royal family’s name in the dirt once and for all. What real-life anti-monarchist propaganda would consist of at the time was promiscuous imagery of Lamballe and the queen as lovers to further “besmirch” the queen’s reputation.

This is just obviously hinting at the aftermath of the French Revolutions and also telling us the present (at the time the letter was written). Mary gets executed by the Guillotine, and-well we all know how the rest of the story goes.

Overall, Mary’s deduction story is just a short summarization of what actually happened before and during the French Revolution: it even added the details of how actually sketchy and corrupt the royal family within was, not just the dissatisfaction of the public. As a summary of what this meant for Mary, as the Hunter, she feels pure bitterness, and anger towards the citizens for the way they treated her and the people around her. And as we can see, there was no reference towards Bloody Mary what-so-ever, and the reason why that is is because according to the Chinese version of IdV (which is what the original game’s region/language is) Her name actually would translate to “Madame Red”, not Bloody Queen. I think it was just the translators having fun with words, and since her design is very similar to that of what a person would think Bloody Mary looks like, i guess it made sense to them lol

But regardless, we’ll still take a look at Mary’s design.

Mary’s design is simple compared to other hunter designs in IdV. A simple, ball gown which was originally white, but turned red due to Mary’s beheading, pools of blood dropped all over her body. Mary also used to have long hair, but assumed by the very broken looking locks of hair, her hair probably was cut down by the guillotine. Eagle-eyed people will also take notice to her neck, which is stitched back onto the rest of her body, which the designers wanted to include really bad since its prevalent even in concept sketches as well:

Mary’s gameplay design is based solely on mythologies about Bloody Mary, however, which makes things kind of confusing, but i guess thats what idv excels at the most lol

anyway, you’ve reached the end! if you have read this far, thank you so much, i put so much effort and research into this and i hope people will make good use of it. I also hope i made you more interested in playing mary and/or the French Revolution, lol  but thank you for reading this!!

references:

The Count of Artois and the Coming of the French Revolution by Vincent W. Beach 

The Princesse de Lamballe; a biography by Hardy, B. C. (Blanche Christabel)

My history textbooks

And wikipedia lol

[idrewbedraggledbreaths]

Sorting Eve Polastri and Villanelle using the Sortinghatchats system

So, I had been thinking that I for once didn’t have a hyperfixation but nope, I do. It’s the personality system developed by @sortinghatchats, which is based on the 4 Harry Potter houses, but instead of simplistic, reductionist stereotypes, this system goes deep into you and sorts you in two houses: primary and secondary. Your primary is your WHY, your reason to view the world or life your life and your secondary is your HOW, how you approach life’s problems and issues. I will be using @wisteria-lodge’s terminology because it’s pretty neat, but you don’t need much to connect the names to the houses.

Here’s a tl;dr of what each of the primaries and secondaries are: 

Lion primaries are intuitive and guided by their moral compass, which is very strong (doesn’t mean what they believe in is in fact good or correct) and Lion secondaries are the people who charge straight at something, regardless of whether they will come out of it unscathed or not. 

Snake (hey look, that’s me!) primaries value people. Not any person, their people. They will go to hell and earth for their people to be safe and happy, which can get kind of self destructive. Snake secondaries improvise much like Lion secondaries, but they tend to adapt to situation and shapeshift their way out of problems. 

Bird (also me!) primaries also value right and wrong like Lion primaries, but they build their systems with external information and observation, not from their gut feelings. That means Bird primaries change a lot with time, because their ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ change. Bird secondaries collect. Skills, tools, random knowledge, they delve deep and acquire as much of them as they can, not because things are useful, but because it’s fun. 

Finally, Badger primaries are also people-persons, but their communities are much broader than a Snake primary’s. They value people, tradition, cultures and so (but not every Badger sees everyone as people, so there’s that). Badger secondaries are the hardworking types in the sense that they cultivate things, they invest in them and even become them.

You can develop models of each house according to what you find useful or what society has instilled in you, but when push come to shove, the models aren’t the real you. All of these houses can burn, meaning their essence is somehow scared away from them due to trauma, depression, societal pressures, etc. That means a Lion stops trusting their instincts, a Snake no longer feels like they’re able to protect their people or their people are better off without them (been there done that don’t recommend), a Bird loses faith in their systems and a Badger closes themselves off from their communities and adopts a smaller circle of people. Burnt houses can look a lot like each other, but I can’t really explain. i suggest you go to @paint-the-ravenclaw or @wisteria-lodge for more info. 

Ok, here we go: 

Villanelle

Oh boy, V is one hell of a Bird secondary. It’s just so loud. Her Snake primary is pretty obvious to me as well, but her Bird stands out because it’s odd. She is a great planner ad really thrives off of planning. Her spectacular kills in s1-s2 are almost always planned inch by inch. She has collected a wide and very impressive variety of skills she uses to complete her missions, from disguising herself to faking accents to disembowelling men. You could argue that she has some Snake model built into her because she does adapt to some degree, but whenever she cannot plan at all and has to improvise, her mask ends up slipping. Think ‘the hole’, the doll guy, killing the Romanian guy in s3. When she and her recruit are assigned the mission to kill the guy at the birthday party, she loses her shit when he doesn’t follow plans. Homegirl is a planner all the way, but at the same time it feels like she doesn’t give two fucks about the consequences of her plans, as long as she gets the job done. Sometimes she is a bird of prey, all precision and carefulness, and sometimes she is a...birb. happy go lucky birb with her clothes and her shoes and her Eve and the things she likes (mainly Eve, though). To me, that’s because of her Snake primary. 

Villanelle values herself more than whatever Konstantin is trying to do, so she is self indulgent. You can clearly see that alongside that, she is desperately trying to belong somewhere, to choose someone who also chooses her. That’s where most of her conflict with Konstantin comes from: she has chosen him but he hasn’t chosen her. Same thing for her family: she is deeply wounded by the fact that the people she initially chose haven’t chosen her, but that’s why she kills her mother and the husband and not her younger brothers: they are her people still. You could say her primary is somewhat burned with the way she had to protect herself from choosing people due to how they have treated her, but it then unburns when she meets her one true person, Eve. She will do anything to get Eve’s attention, including, uh... murdering her best friend. She chooses to go back to Eve in Rome and shoots Eve because her reaction to V sort of revealing she forced Eve to kill Raymond reads as ‘I chose you and tried to show you my way but you denied me so now I’m MAD *angry emoji*’ but she’s not really mad. She’s still thinking about Eve, she’s still hurting because of Eve. To me, she is in a constant state of burning and unburning and I really want to see where s4 leads her.

Eve

Eve is a bit harder or me, mostly because her character was relegated to a supporting role even though she is the title character and should get more development but I think I got a decent shot at her. If Villanelle is a planner who can improvise, Eve is an improviser who can plan (if not plan, at least collect diverse information and skillsets). To me, she is a very loud Lion secondary who throws herself at things and challenges. Think about how she reacts in the bus scene, how she takes that axe and murders Raymond, how she follows V and Bill into the club almost madly. She isn’t really planning anything, she’s just charging. Niko wants plans and stability and a future, but Eve doesn’t, she likes the unknown, the thrill of the chase, the ‘headbutting a wall until you either break it or break you skull.’ I think she has a Bird secondary model, though. She is very knowledgeable (a little too knowledgeable) when it comes to serial killers, she can pick up on patterns and clues very quickly and she can eventually prepare herself before charging, namely in the flat scene in s1. Eve thrashes V’s flat in impulsive Lion fashion, but she remembers to take the gun and the knife in case things turn sour, which means she had planed ahead. The plan turns out to be... a complete failure. If Eve was a true Bird, she would not stab Villanelle the way she did, she would have waited and evaluated. Her reaction is to immediately regret what she’s done because she knows she’s fucked up massively, and that reaction is something I’ve seen on some Lion friends, bless their hearts. She is blunt, earnest and often says the hilarious but slightly inappropriate thing and that’s very Lion to me.

As for Eve’s primary, from the very beginning it seemed to me like she was trying very hard to be a double Lion but... she’s not. She’s a Snake like V, with a Lion model she is definitely not comfortable with. It does look like she sometimes is acting on something because it is the right thing, but the way she obsesses over V makes her shed her previous morals away. She gets distressed when her team focuses on the Ghost more than Villanelle, she gets jealous of V, she leaves Hugo to die so that she can get to Villanelle. It’s clear she tries to hold on to her normal life with a husband, a job and a chicken but in the end she kind of accepts she was never meant to ave any of those things, and that’s why she turns at the bridge. Because Villanelle is Eve’s person, and Eve’s person comes first.

So, for me Villaneve are a couple of Snake primaries, with Eve trying to hide hers with a ‘society-approved’ Lion model that slips away under V’s strong Snake primary. So gay.

 I could go into more detail on my sortings, but i’s late as hell and I’m tired. I might try to sort other characters later, specially Carolyn. I’m struggling with her right now. Anyway,this is just my take on these characters using a system I love.

[roadtohell]

ok here are my final bbc les mis thoughts... i know i’m v late to the party but if anyone also has thoughts i’d like to hear them!

it’s probably not gonna sound like it, but i DID actually quite enjoy it as general entertainment. most of my complaints come from my interpretation of the source material as well as the 2012 film (which is impossible not to compare to)- if it was an original story i wouldn’t have nearly as many reservations.

things i really liked include:

absurdly cute baby marius, who i would die for

happy fantine :) for a bit

the handling of gillenormand and his relationship with marius, which i felt was v book-accurately sad and screwed up but also sweet when the time came

the thenardiers- the fact that they still retain a bit of the comedic edge only adds to the repulsiveness of their deeds imo.

things i really disliked include:

most of valjean’s character- he was generally angry and unlikeable. i think davies intended to highlight his struggle to do good, which isn’t an inherently bad goal, as book valjean totally has questionable moments followed by rackings of guilt (see: his attitude towards marius). the problem with the series portrayal is that what should be mostly internal conflict instead manifests itself in actively poor treatment of others throughout the whole story. sure, bbc valjean gives out money like it grows on trees. he also angrily fires fantine for lying while he himself lives a lie, stiffs gavroche on delivery money and tells him to buzz off, and makes cosette watch a chain gang to prove a point. it’s... an interesting angle, no doubt, but it misses the whole point of valjean’s story- the transformative power of kindness- by a mile.

a lot of adult cosette’s portrayal and especially her relationship with valjean. i get it, people often consider her tricky to write, boring, more of a symbol etc. etc. and feel the need to jazz her appearances up a bit. davies does not do a good job of this. her curiosity and idealism is framed as being frustratingly naive, as if to justify valjean’s overt possessiveness and control over her. he ends up physically restraining her over their “i want to see the world-” “well, the world sucks and i’m just protecting you” fight they spend most of their time having, which isn’t even resolved one way or another. the last episode does treat her better, thank god, but the cosette=love thing is less impactful when she’s literally pulled out the “i hate you” line. 😬

javert’s absurd level of valjean obsession- he honestly becomes a bit of a joke, eventually assuming valjean is the leader of the rebellion for no reason other than it involves crime. besides diminishing his competency, it’s actually easy to forget that he’s guided by his rigid sense of justice, not just his VPS (valjean positioning system). one day an adaptation will really take the time to explore how javert’s worldview applies beyond valjean, including to himself (i’ve always loved the brick scene where he asks mr madeleine to fire him), but it’s definitely not this one.

the sexualisation, jfc. frankly i think davies should be guillotined just for his interview statements on this topic. of all people, he decided to sexualise eponine and cosette. no i will not elaborate. there are also countless unnecessary implications, including between valjean and fantine, valjean and MARIUS, and a random convent girl onscreen for 0.2 seconds just to say she was looking forward to sex. but at least there was no santa sex scene, i guess?

thenardier straight up says he’s going into the slave trade and marius still gives him money... tf

the two boys gavroche looked after, starving in the street, is the final shot. because we all needed another dose of misery.

while i adore the musical, i can imagine why davies doesn’t enjoy it- it has no subtlety whatsoever with its messages about god, love, the LAW, revolution, death and everything else. add that to tom hooper’s dutch angles and extreme closeups and you have something that could easily be considered way over the top. davies presumably wanted to create a story that, as well as containing more plot than the musical, felt less preachy~ and more grounded in reality. in this, i think he succeeds- events are fairly book accurate, and a lot of the changes he does make, regardless of whether i like them, would certainly check out in the real world.

but hugo was one opinionated writer, and so treating les mis like a historical event comes at a cost. davies might despise the musical’s “doggerel lyrics”, but they are true to the novel’s message of compassion and love. in this series, the hope that shines through now and again is always quashed with little reflection; discussion on social justice, so clearly outlined in hugo’s introduction as the book’s purpose, is kept at arm’s length. therefore davies’ more cynical storytelling and characterisation, which also minimises hugo’s religious and political ideas, ultimately loses touch with the heart of les mis.

nobody who benefits this much from the musical’s success has the right to be such a dick about it, especially when the end product isn’t even better. to be clear, i think it’s a good series, and as an adaptation it could be a lot worse. but it’s hard to ignore questionable characterisation, sexualisation, and general steering away from the central ideas of its source material. i’d prefer to sit through russell crowe’s stars any day.

[sebthesnipe]

The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagin an Analysis? Part 3

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The Dreamer 

@whatwashernameagain​

Let’s jump right in, shall we?

Reminder: Spoilers under cut! 

If we pick up where we left off, Logan talks about The Dreamer’s/Roman’s vision of the future ‘where everyone could live in love and harmony, and humanity would grow into its glowing, gallant potential, coexisting in friendship with nature and respecting the planet while creating a world fir for fairy tails’. “Why would no one see that [The Dreamer] was clearly delusional” (Whatwashernameagain)? Can anyone say… Foreshadowing?

I know I haven’t made it to chapter 2 yet but I need to bring this up so… If you haven’t read Chapter 2 yet then skip this bit.

*****CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS**** 

Once again, Roman’s character portrait is gaining more depth with this paragraph. In Chapter 2 we learn that Roman really does see the future this way. The knowledge has a sense of innocence that Logan obviously finds annoying but adds yet another endearing quality to the hero. I won’t go into too much detail about Chapter 2 but the foreshadowing here is quite lovely and shouldn’t be ignored. Logan calls Roman delusional for his vision and he truly is. With everything that we learn in Chapter 2 we see just how delusional the hero really is. But its not only for the future… his delusions go far deeper, involving his family, his duty, his team… I’ll stop there. You’ll just have to read my analysis of Chapter 2 when I eventually get there.

Now back to our regular scheduled programming…

*****END OF CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS*****

 Okay… so this next para…. Oh man… So many thoughts…. “Despite his illogical argumentation, [The Dreamer] had somehow kept him from some of the more drastic measures [Logan’s] supercomputer suggested would be necessity for the continued well-being of all – much to the computer’s ire” (Whatwashernameagain). So, I really want to use two types of literary theories here… one being reader-response and the other bordering psychoanalysis. In other words, more Freud stuff.  Don’t worry I’m not going to go into too much detail this time.

When I read this para all I can picture is the left and right side of the brain, which is really what Roman and Logan are aren’t they? I’ve briefly touched on the fact that Logan and Roman are polar opposites complimenting themselves before but… this para makes me consider it in a different way. Roman is acting almost like a conscious here; providing a line to draw when Logan starts to get out of control. Roman is the reigns that are yanked when Logan goes too fast. He keeps the Logical side in check. Fitting. Poetic. Perfect. Love it, Eva.

And… This super computer has so much Sass… Must be Remy. XP

With the introduction of Remy we get another burst of the light hearted humor that comes with his personality. Eva balances the character well, in my opinion. Remy is supposed to be a supercomputer with some sass but writing a character that is a computer can be difficult. I really would like to spend some time discussing Remy but I am afraid that I can’t go into to much detail. Remy in this scene is more of a support character, and there isn’t much to go on at the moment… Of course, knowing Eva, this will change in the future. I am sure he has plenty to say about Remy as the story progresses. As it stands Remy makes for a good comic relief and fantastic transitional device, pulling the reader from Logan’s thoughts back into the present to help the story move on.

 **I’m going to pause here for a moment. While analyzing the entrance of Remy I grew curious about a few things and decided to ask her. I am going back to edit this in because while writing this portion of the analysis I felt as if I was missing something. Why did she choose Remy specifically to be the supercomputer and how does it play into any of this? I knew there had to be a reason, but I hadn’t managed to figure it out. So, I asked. Here was her response:

“So I absolutely thought about why I wanted Remy as the computer. Computers are associated with cool predictability and lacking emotional competence and stiff, predictable speech patterns. Everything Logan already is. Especially this computer, who has to calculate the highest odds- the value of human life - has to make extremely cold and emotionless decisions. He would have escalated Logan’s crusade dramatically had he behaved exactly like Logic at its worst and purest moments. And their conversations would have read like Logan talking to his Mini me. He had to break up that stereotype because we already have a human trying to operate like a computer. If the calculation of our actions through utilitarian predictions are possible (which I believe they are) the reverse - the creation of unique and emotionally capable A.I.s needs to be taken into account soon. Though Remy is not part of the deliberation yet, his ability for human emotion demands he be included. He makes that demand by being essentially the most human of all of them and I will go into (too much) Detail when it’s time for his arc.”

When she told me this I was floored! I knew that she put more deliberation into her writing than most, but I had never really expected this. That sounds as if I underestimated her but that isn’t the case. I knew she had considered it or I wouldn’t have asked but… Well this is just so beautiful… I suppose there is a reason she is such a fantastic writer… And this people, is one of them. Absolutely stunning, Eva. **

 We jump back into Logan’s thoughts within the next paragraph. Remy accused the man of not ‘giving an f’ about what he says. He states that he attempts to follow Remy’s advice without prejudice. “However, whenever he endeavored to put those plans into action or even considered it, something made him hesitate. It was like a bug, hindering his rational thought process. A pesky pop-up window halting his deliberations and muddling his convictions with banal platitudes and illogical rambling” (Whatwashernameagain). I LOVE this paragraph!

So, the imagery here is fantastic. Eva uses a wonderful simile that really catches Logan’s personality. But I’ll have to get into that in a moment. I want to touch on something else first. We know that Logan is driven by Logic; he is Thomas’ logical side after all. That being said, it has been discussed within her Keep Him Safe fandom that Logan is/maybe autistic. I think that it is very fitting for Logan to be autistic (though this may be due to the fact that I am autistic as well). The thing is… and I really wish I had the source for this, but I don’t know what I’ve done with it and can’t for the life of me find it again. I am sorry. Anyways, if we look at this logically Logan is thirty years old (thought Eva may change that but the Logan in Sanders Sides is thirty because Thomas is thirty so I’m going with it); Which means that he grew up in 1990s. There wasn’t a lot of treatment for mild cases of autism in the nineties. In fact, it wasn’t until 2013 Autism Spectrum disorders were classified in DSM-V (History of Autism Treatment). Even if children were diagnosed before then, most cases in the 1980s and some in the 1990 used ECT, which involves passing small electric currents through the brain to intentionally trigger a brief seizure (History of Autism Treatment). These seizures are supposed to be hypothesized to change the brain chemistry in a way to reduce mental health symptoms (History of Autism Treatment). ECT is still used in some cases of autism today, though it is rare (History of Autism Treatment). Why is this important? Well, I am 27 years old. I grew up in the same era of Logan. I am also autistic so believe me when I say that /if/ someone tried to get Logan treated as a child he would have been subject to countless medications, off the wall treatment plans and subject to so many misdiagnoses that eventually he would have simply folded in on himself as we’ve seen him do throughout this work. On top of that, when he eventually came off of the treatments, he would had molded himself to avoid them at all costs becoming cold and driven by logic, blocking away as much of the emotional side of himself as he could and thus becoming the Logan we know today. This defense mechanism would obvious move into his adult years. I don’t know if this is Logan’s history in this work, this is merely speculation, but I am quite fond of the idea and historically speaking it is entirely possible.

 **Author confirmed Logan is autistic**

 I explain all this because if a person tries to block out emotions that are core to the very existence of a human being than what happens? Well, the example Eva gives, that’s what; “He attempted to follow the disgruntled computer’s advices without prejudice. However, whenever he endeavored to put those plans into action or even considered it, something made him hesitate” (Whatwashernameagain). Logan obviously tries to be as cold and calculating as his computer but despite his efforts, the fact remains… He is /not/ a computer; and he never will be. No matter how logical you try to be… no matter how much you block out your emotions, they will turn up here and there and there is NOTHING you can do to stop them. It is part of the human condition. Which brings me back to the simile I mentioned.

“It was like a bug, hindering his rational thought process. A pesky pop-up window halting his deliberations and muddling his convictions with banal platitudes and illogical rambling” (Whatwashernameagain).

This simile reinforces my hypothesis, but I still can’t say that it is true. Regardless it does show the struggle between Logan’s desire to be cold and calculating and his humanity; even basically describing himself as a computer (I’m pretty sure Remy would have a few things to say about that if he knew).  He describes his humanity as a bug, or a virus, a pop-up messing with his head. Or… Could it be that it’s not his humanity that’s bothering him at all… Maybe it’s something… or someone else….

He states that this virus is “muddling his convictions with banal platitudes and illogical rambling”. For those of you about to look up the definition of banal platitudes, I’ve already done the work for you lol. It basically means clichés. So… clichés and ‘illogical’ rambling? Sound like anyone we know? Maybe a certain Dreamer? I talk as if Logan’s pesky humanity and The Dreamer are two different issues entirely but they are not. Roman seems to be a symbol of Logan’s unwanted humanity; something he both needs to define himself and hates because he wishes he didn’t need it. It is quite a wonderful use of symbolism and philosophical structure, beautifully executed. Someone once told me that a superhero is only as good as its villain. I believe that has some truth to it and vice versa. What would Batman be without the Joker or The Riddler? But it also poses the question… What would we be without our humanity. What would good be without bad? In life we define everything as a comparison. If you try to describe the color red you wouldn’t be able to because they can not compare the color to things that are red. In a world without bad, we wouldn’t recognize the good and in a world without good, the bad is just life. Would it be the same if the Utilitarianist didn’t have The Dreamer? If Logan didn’t have Roman?

This an actual concept in the literary world known as the dialectical method. “The dialectical method of analysis begins with particular sense data (knowledge of a single object). But such focus on a particular object of knowledge immediately invites reflection on what the particular object is not. It is not a concept or idea or category. We look at the legal system, for example, and see a law, but to understand a particular law fully we need to know what the principle or idea is that makes it a law" (Rivkin, Julie). While it doesn’t exactly work 100% for Roman and Logan in this instant, it basically mean that one thing is only defined by comparing it to another. But that is for another story…

A good writer makes their reader want to ask questions, to learn more… we see that here without a doubt.

I mentioned that the ‘banal platitudes and illogical ramblings Logan mentioned that were distracting him could be Roman and the next line confirms that theory: “The Dreamer was intruding on his mental solitude increasingly often with the memories of his wide eyes, predictably shocked at learning about the Utilitarianist’s latest plans, before determination lit a fire in his green eyes.” I’m sure his eyes are not the only thing crossing Logan’s mind… As I said before, Roman is a good representation of Logan’s conscious here, with a subtext of attraction that is ever present when it comes to his thoughts about the hero. Logan goes on to describe Roman’s banter once more but this time… there’s something a little different to his words.

“His voice was like a constraining vice around his chest, forcing him to remember his outraged claims of rightness and kindness and chivalry and peace – foolish banalities standing in the way of real benefits for the world. And yet his arguments kept resurfacing in his mind, playing like a broken record. Hopes for unity and joint efforts and belief in humanity’s solidarity and such naive nonsense. Data had proven the probability of success for his hopes at about 8%. A waste of time” (Whatwashernameagain).

8%.... 8%... Of course, Logan would know that! He talks about this hero getting in his way and messing up his plans but when it comes down to it the constant reminder seems to point to one thing… (Besides denial and attraction which we’ve already covered) Jealousy. Logan obviously isn’t jealous of The Dreamer’s popularity or social status, he doesn’t have a care for though things. No, the thing Logan is jealous of is hope. Let’s think about this for a moment. Sure, Roman is the symbol of hope for the country but that’s a different kind of hope. No, the thing that Logan continuously points out is the man’s ignorant hopeful view of a future that is almost impossible… Well, 92% impossible anyways. Logan is autistic… he is driven by logic, pushing down all his emotions as best he can because they are inherently bad… at least that is what he was conditioned to believe; you can’t push down just the bad emotions, its an all or nothing type of deal if you’re trying to be the most logical being you can be… Which means all the good emotions went with them… Logan doesn’t feel emotions like most people… like Roman…

I’m not saying that he doesn’t feel emotions, being autistic can sometimes mean you simply don’t feel emotions the same way as others. Plus, it makes sense for Logan to suppress them… ANYWAYS, I’m getting sidetracked. My point is that a lot of times when you struggle with something like that (or even depression (since ‘numbness’ can be a symptom of depression)) it can be quite difficult to see others enjoying emotions that you are incapable/not use to feeling. It is possible that this might be the case with Logan. Roman’s hope for the future, despite complaining of his naivety, is something Logan covets. It is something he probably respects, though he’d never admit it. I’m sure he no doubt calculated the statistics of Roman’s future to prep for his next argument but also because he was just a little bit curious as to how likely it really is. I even doubt he would actually tell Roman he only had an 8% chance of succeeding because he doesn’t want to see disappointment on those beautiful features; he’d probably just tell him the chances were slim… Though Roman would no doubt be one of those guys that would respond to ‘Fat chance’ with ‘I have a chance; and its fat!”.    Of course, the next paragraph confirms my thoughts on Roman’s reaction to the information and once again reinforces Logan’s thoughts on just how handsome The Dreamer is.

The thing I want to draw attention to next is another opinion of Logan’s. Eva writes from his POV “Thankfully, many of his actions were far too advanced for a simple mind like the Dreamer’s, which afforded him the ability to work in peace. The threat of law-enforcement was hardly severe enough to warrant his attention. Still, he had interrupted his work and caused critical failure to several of his more drastic plans” (Whatwashernameagain).  So, this brings up a number of things we were not privy to beforehand. First, it paints the dynamic in a bit of a different light. It brings our attention to the fact that Logan doesn’t see the man as the sharpest tool in the shed. We learn in Chapter 2 that that isn’t exactly the reason behind it all but Logan, of course is not privy to this… yet. Once again, we see Logan have a bit of a superiority complex, though I doubt he means to or even realizes it. In society today, knowledge is power, and Logan has a lot of it. His view that Roman is less intelligent puts him lower on the power scale and therefore beneath him. This reinforces the same imagery offered earlier in the story, calling Roman a ‘thorn in [Logan’s] shoe’ and the fact that Logan is not happy being attracted to him. On the opposite side it also reinforces just how adorably innocent Roman is.

I LOVE this next bit! Logan mentions that he had not made Roman a target despite Remy’s insistence and explains his position of the subject: “he was trying to be useful in his own way. Criminals and terrorist attempting to profit of the system’s flaws or praying on the weak were an issue the Utilitarianist was aware of, even if he had little time to devote to such matters as we worked on the grand scheme of things. Pedophiles were most deplorable, yes, but Remy could not devote his processor power to chasing every single individual. They had brought two sex-trafficking rings to light with the help of their white-hat-hackers and had, by making the addresses of the offenders’ public, dealt with a lot of them indirectly, yet a single kidnapping was a too small variable to devote any time to” (Whatwashernameagain). So far, we’ve seen Logan move from frustration, obsession, denial, attraction, respect to envy… now we see… understanding? While some may think this is a bit contradictory, I would have to disagree… In fact, it makes complete sense that Logan would accept and understand Roman’s heroic persona. Afterall, the two of them share the same goal, they simply go about it in two different extremes.

Logan wants a better world where things like corrupt governments are nonexistent and every person can walk to their car at night without having to cling to their pepper spray or keys so desperately. Granted, he is attempting to accomplish this on such a large scale that it will not happen anytime soon, but the intention is still there. In his mind, the end justifies the means and therefore the Utilitarianist was born. Roman wants the same world, granted there are a few more rainbows and most certainly more glitter in his vision but it is the same none the less. The only difference is Roman’s sense of morality stopping him from doing something as drastic as Logan does. I think Logan sees this and though he considers the unwillingness a type of weakness he can see that Roman has a use and therefore has value (just as the utilitarianism principle suggests). In fact, in a way, Roman is assisting Logan in his goals, though it is a very small way. He is basically taking care of smaller crimes while Logan attempts to handle the big guns. This, of course, paints their dynamic in a bit of different light; Logan being the brains while Roman fumbles about and makes his job far more difficult that it needs to be. Think of it like Pinky and the Brain, or Dexter (from Dexter’s Laboratory) and his sister DeeDee (Is my age showing?). Within the next two paragraphs

Logan talks about the hero saving a young girl and the ‘almost-admiration’ that he had felt for the hero who was basically doing something Logan was incapable of; which reinforces the analysis. A small snippet of their interactions is seen for the first time; Roman lecturing about every life counts and using power for good; Logan making a smart-ass comment in return and blasting him off the oil rig with high pressured water. This is actually quite a beautiful scene because it shows the rivalry (despite Logan’s complaining) is filled with more of a playfulness than actual malice. It is obvious that Logan doesn’t really want to harm Roman and vice versa. It makes for a very soft moment for the reader, warming them a bit.

The playfulness continues through the next scene. Logan reminisces about a moment when Roman’s ‘incompetence’ managed to get him captured by another villain. There is a lot to read during this scene so I will try to be brief (I am trying to shorten these parts while also moving a bit quicker through the work, so I don’t bore you guys too much). Logan states that “only Remy had managed to piece together his whereabouts after Logan had mentioned his failure to appear in front of a camera for a solid two days. Leaving him to die in the hands of such an individual might have caused a significant amount of unrest and subsequent danger to the public” (Whatwashernameagain).

First off, do you really pay Roman so much attention that you notice when he’s not there to brighten your day? Of course you do. I’m sure he would love the attention if he knew about it. Anyways, the last sentence provides more insight into what I have previously said about Logan’s recognition of Roman’s usefulness. He states that Roman’s disappearance would cause unrest and subsequent danger to the public. While, he may be making excuses, according to Remy, he does recognize this to be try and it is. If the public discovered The Dreamer was gone crime would spike, people’s hope would disappear causing them to lash out in fear and over protectiveness; everything Logan was working towards wouldn’t necessarily crumble but would no doubt be slowed. Which brings me back to the whole dialectical theory thing from earlier, which I won’t bore you with again. Just know that everything is related to something else in meaning, including Logan and Roman.

Love the light humor of Remy calling Logan his ‘computer-world-interaction device! LOL! Aside from the light humor, the interaction is a good resource in rounding out Remy as a character. It offers the reader a chance to understand that Remy needs/wants to interact with the outside world, to experience what it is to be apart of society outside his connections with the internet… Don’t we all Remy… Don’t we all… It develops Remy into the AI he is supposed to be rather than the image of a computer we originally had.

“Saving the Dreamer from his own incompetence was not a concession to his naive beliefs. No, certainly not! If anything, his wailing and warbling had caused Logan a headache as he’d dragged him out of the bunker, arguing the whole way” (Whatwashernameagain).

Logan SAVED Roman?! I love this. Irony at its finest! The villain saves the hero. Poetic justice! It also paints Logan to have a heart, though he denies it, which is quite nice too. Too bad Roman has no idea that his initials are carved in the ice around said heart. Best part is, we actually get to see a small snippet of the argument between the two: “’Uhhng you’re such an impossible motherf- um motherboard! Because you’re like a computer! Cold and emotionless!’ [The Dreamer] wailed, narrowly avoiding uttering a vile insult in his frustration. He prided himself on a hero’s impeccable manners, after all” (whatwashernameagain).

So, this snippet does a lot of things for Roman’s persona here. It provides him with the sass we hadn’t seen from him yet, giving him a bit more personality and a small bit of his POV which is a first in the story as well. We also can see the stark contrast between his and Logan’s frustration. Roman loses a bit of control in his frustration and almost curses; while Logan’s frustration, while intense, was still controlled almost to perfection (minus the one time he almost got caught because Roman got him to argue with him). His calm cool demeanor rarely cracking. Roman, as we see here, however, is the opposite, wearing the emotion on his sleeve and allowing it to flow freely rather than being bottled up and locked away like Logan attempts to do.

“Why had he cared to save this man after all? Not because of the softly uttered gratitude he’d finally muttered as he’d bundled him into an intimidated police officer’s car or his wide, awed eyes as he’d materialized out of the shadows of his cell, perfectly adjusted to the darkness in his neck-high sleek, black suit and high-tech mask that made him resemble a nimble, black cat. Or the way his expression had morphed into a knowing, almost warm smile before their differences had made their tempers rise once again” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay, first off… Lets look at the structure here. This is another thing I love about Eva’s writing. I’ve mentioned time and time again, her ability to transition from one POV to another seamlessly but she also does it with timeframes. We’ve seen it a few times now, but this is probably the most obvious one which is why I waited until I got to this point before bringing it up. Before this para we were reading a small snippet of the arguing as Logan dragged Roman to safety. Now, we see Logan deposit Roman into a car and then BAM! Back in the cell he had been being kept in. The best part is that it is done so seamlessly that the reader doesn’t even really think about the fact that they are jumping back and forth in this timeline, they are simply able to piece it together as if it was all one piece… absolutely beautiful…

This para also gives a small insight into the humanity in Logan I had mentioned before, the humanity that only seems to come out when Roman is around; thus, reinforcing the fact that Roman /is/ Logan’s humanity. It also is a reminder of Logan’s denial but who is paying attention to that anymore?

Logan mentions the ‘softly uttered gratitude’ that Roman mutters as he was bundled in the car; making me wonder just how often Logan is thanked? Probably never… It is no wonder it was something of note here. It is like feeding a steak to someone who is accustomed to instant ramen: Surprising but not unwelcomed.

He also talks about Roman’s ‘wide, awed eyes,’ the look turning into a ‘knowing, almost warm smile.’ This is another example of how Eva manages to catch emotions so beautifully. This is also a wonderful example of Reader-Response theory as well. She mentions the physical reaction that Roman has at the appearance of Logan, but she leaves everything else up to the reader to fill in the blank… to shape the story. Still, she gave us just enough to work with.

Roman is obviously surprised that someone was there for him as his eyes go wide, but its really the fact that it is Logan, his opposite, his rival, that is there to save him. The shock fades quickly though as everything Roman has been arguing with the man over seems to come true in his eyes. Logan has just proven Roman right in the sense that Logan is good at heart and /can/ do the right thing… that there is hope that he can be led down the ‘right’ path. But the smile he offered wasn’t cocky or conceited if that were the case. It was simply ‘warm’. The complexity of human thought and emotions is far to vast for anyone to really /know/ what Roman was thinking her but I’m going to give a guess: Roman saw for the first time that his rival was not only living up to Roman’s hopes and expectations but was, in a way, providing him with a sense of friendship that Roman probably wasn’t accustomed to. Or at least a sense of affection (platonic or otherwise). No doubt, being a hero was a very lonely existence.

And we end the scene with Logan mentioning Remy’s like for Roman and his ‘cute ass and mouth.’  That’s Remy for you.

Thank you for joining me for Part 3 of this analysis. I apologize for the length and want to thank you for baring with me through it.

Yes, this is a repost. I had posted a very short Part 3 earlier today and did not want to end the Chapter 1 analysis on an odd number, so I combined Parts 3 and 4.

I will see you guys in part 4! Feel free to send me an ask or message with questions, concerns, emotional outbursts or things you simply would like to discuss or add! Thank you all!

  “History of Autism Treatment.” Applied Behavior Analysis Programs Guide, https://www.appliedbehavioranalysisprograms.com/history-autism-treatment/.

Rivkin, Julie. Literary Theory: a Practical Introduction. Wiley-Blackwell, 2017.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching Good Omens (ALL OF IT)

my favourite novel is now my favourite mini-series and IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

under the cut: a very long, spoilery six-episode reaction to MY NEW FAVOURITE THING EVER

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may 31st 07:36pm nz

i posted my episode 1 reaction a couple hours ago but that got ZERO NOTES so i assume people are either avoiding spoilers or aren’t interested, which is fine, but i’m just gonna put all my reactions in one big post so anyone who IS interested doesn’t have to read 6 separate posts c:

edit june 1st 04:08am: btw i watched using a free trial on amazon prime, which i’m pretty sure is worldwide. soooo if yOU WANT TO WATCH THIS, YOU CAN, FOR FREE

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EPISODE 1: In the Beginning

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04:03pm

idk how much i’m gonna type, whether i’ll post a reaction to the entire thing in one post....... or how much i’ll end up watching right now

kinda want to spread it out and save it as a treat for after i’ve done some writing

but right now i wanna watch before writing

so maybe i’ll do one ep, write something, then return to this?

edit: aahhaha that didn’t happen

-

04:04pm

I’M SO EXCITED

I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG

well... since 2011 when i first read the book

but regardless it’S BEEN 84 YEARS

-

04:05

okay first off i did not know amazon prime did adverts at the start of their videos. so i was like SINCE WHEN WAS CHILDISH GAMBINO/DONALD GLOVER IN GOOD OMENS

and then

yeah

no

either way i thought it was a good opening

-

W A R

NING

cool cool cool cool cool

-

omg i’m used to where the netflix full-screen button is, and on amazon prime that’s the “next episode” button so i gotta be real careful

-

dear god my video quality is TERRIBLE

i.......... i might torrent this show and watch it offline

this is horrendous i can’t see a damn thing

i have never seen pixels this big

-

04:11

okay the quality calmed down after a minute

i loooove the intro, i love that it’s basically word for word from the book

i feel like i’d find it funnier if i hadn’t read the book 3 months ago

-

also? god is a woman? yes

-

04:13

is it just me or does the snek have a slightly david tennant-esque quality about it

-

i’m so happy adam and eve are black

-

04:17

omfg. aziraphale said “ineffable” and now CRAWLEY’S CHECKING HIM OUT TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS ANY JUNK

WOW

...or y’know, looking for a flaming sword. SAME FUCKING THING.

-

also i looove how FLUFFY azi is

-

azi: “do hope i didn’t do the wrong thing”

i fucking love them both uhrgughhhuhuhughuhhh

-

04:21

small sob for cuteness

umbella wings

-

04:23

in the opening titles, crowley just stopped a spaceship and aziraphale turned it into fish

i feel like that was a douglas adams reference and i’m on board

-

04:25

the entire time i read the book, up until i saw video promos of this show, i thought “crowley” was said the same way as spn’s “crowley”, as in “crahwlee”

not “crOhwlee”

i definitely like that they’re different though

both probably named after aleister crowley tbh. all of whom are queer.

-

THOSE SWAYING HIPS

i haven’t found david tennant attractive in about 9 years but WHOOOP HELLO AGAIN

somehow attractive for entirely different reasons than before. like. my taste changed but tHEN

-

i’m on crowley’s side, taking down a cellphone network is VERY ANNOYING

-

04:35

crowley: shitshitshitshithsit

:D

i can’t wait for aziraphale’s big swear

-

04:37

i miss eating sushi

sushi was great

-

04:43

this baby delivery thing is sTRESSFUL

“aaaaurthurrrrr”

nooo

poor lady

-

04:45

“little toesie woesies”

where’s the sister mary loquacious fan club and where do i sign up

-

i’m glad they colour-coded the babies and did the playing card explanation because this part of the book always tied my brain in knots

-

05:00

this is reminding me how utterly gross england is

-

“MY POINT IS............. DOLPHINS”

YES

-

05:06

see in the book

i never once realised that the nanny was crowley in disguise

-

05:11

digging the snake tattoo sideburns

-

05:14

and yeah the short hair looks good

-

05:15

fINALLY crowley called azi “angel”

-

05:17

crowley: “oh no no don’t do your magic act, pleeease”

the magic act scene is one of my fave parts of the book <3

-

05:20

aw man they cut out the best part

i mean i get why

the kids shouted a bunch of gay slurs at aziraphale

and there were no secret service people with guns

but aw mannn

AND THEY CUT OUT THE BIT WITH THE DEAD DOVE AND CROWLEY BRINGS IT BACK TO LIFE FOR AZIRAPHALE

THAT WAS MY SINGLE FAVOURITE BIT OF THE BOOK

AND IT’S GONE

;C

-

OH WAIT

THERE’S THE DOVE

OH GOOD

-

aw man aziraphhale just brought it back himself

i liked it better in the book

they sat on the steps outside and crowley comforted azi and took the dove and fixed it for him, and then it flew off

idk i just had such a perfect image of that moment in my mind and this was..... good but not the same at all

could be gayer

-

05:27

good dog

-

05:28

crowley: *snifsnif* something’s changed

aziraphale: “oh it’s a new cologne, my barber suggeste--”

crowley: “no no i know what you smell like”

gayyyyyyyyyy <3

-

05:31

okay that’s ep 1 watched!!! i’ll watch more maybe later tonight :D

ENJOYING THIS SO FAR

not as gay as expected ........YET

needs 400% more “angel” and “dear”

--

EPISODE 2: The Book

07:42pm

pillar of salt guy: “something smells evil”

the fact crowley smells evil and yet aziraphale likes his company regardless says a lot

-

07:49

fully expected crowley to say “i didn’t fall, i sauntered vaguely downwards”

-

07:50

iiiii’m finding the narrator a little annoying

maybe it’s because i read the book so i know what’s going on

but saying “he has four items to deliver in his van. he works for this postage company and he’s making his first delivery in a formal warzone”.... idk i feel like all of those things could be shown visually? saying it rather than showing it probably saved seven seconds of airtime, but damn

-

07:56

i wonder if the narrator was a later addition to this, for new audience clarity? the script for god just seems a little stilted, idk

edit: i kind of got used to it, but it was still jarring, which i’m sure was the opposite of the intended effect

-

08:09

the saddest newt

-

08:13

she’s kind of exactly how i imagined her in the book

and definitely my fave next to aziraphale and crowley

-

08:17

i feel so bad for crowley’s plants

poor babies

-

08:19

for some reason i imagined her as a redhead. kind of more like mrs weasley

-

08:33

these wee children......... so soft.......... so smol

-

08:25

v happy with the casting for pepper

tiny downside is that we lose another redhead

-

08:29

i find the kids’ conversations hilarious because they’re the same age as harry potter when he goes to hogwarts the first time

idk if this is what eleven year olds are like in real life, but when i read the book i did feel distinctly like they spoke like eight year olds

-

08:35

crowley: “i like spooky. big spooky fan, me”

he just sounds like the tenth doctor

-

08:36

YEEE FINALLY CROWLeY DOING NICE THINGS FOR AZIRAPHALE

-

08:48

"you know, crowley, i’ve always said that deep down you really are a--”

“SHUT IT”

DON’T YOU CALL HIM NICE YOU PRETTY BASTARD

-

loquacious: “sorry to break up an intimate moment”

-

08:45

i imagined anathema’s tripod thing to be about 5 feet tall, not a cute little knee-high thing

-

08:48

freddie mercury: BIIIII CYCLE

BIIIIIIII CYCLE

yeah i was waiting for that

-

crowley: “get in, angel”

HE MURMURED

DON’T MURMUR YOUR TERMS OF ENDEARMENT noo

-

09:00

end of episode 2!!! i freaking loved aziraphale vs the book <3

-

the credits for this ep credit konnie huq as someone named pam but idk who that is? i had a crush on konnie huq as a kid when she was a presenter on “blue peter”

OH WAIT RIGHT the lady on the breakfast show on crowley’s tv. aw such a small part. hoping we’ll see her again later

edit: nope. might rewatch that part to pay more attention. obviously i didn’t even recognise her after like.. 15 years

--

EPISODE 3: Hard Times

09:05pm

brb gotta get some food

-

09:14

and now i wait for food

EPISODE THREE LET’S GO

is this the one that’s just crowley and azi’s backstory?

-

09:16

i can’t even put my finger on why but he’s getting more attractive

-

09:21

ah yes

aziraphale is eating shellfish and trying to tempt crowley

“oh... that’s your job”

i love this part of their dynamic

-

09:29

i adore when crowley makes aziraphale smile <3

-

09:43

SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS

YEE

-

i like seeing how crowley’s sunglasses differ throughout history

-

09:36

“if they knew i’d been... fraternising”

this is such a forbidden romance i love ittttt

-

09:49

CROWLEY SAVED THE BOOKS

and SOFT VIOLIN PLAYS

THIS IS A FUCKING LOVE STORY

k this is my favourite part of the show so far <3

-

09:50

this angel just fell in love

right in that moment

i see cartoon hearts around him

-

09:54

just had to pause for a second bc there was some broccoli in my tea :c

-

09:56

awwwwwwwwwwwwww 

he got him holy waterrrrrrr

-

UNIVERSAL ANGLE OF HETEROSEXUAL LONGING

-

definitely feeling a lot of “NOW KISS” right about now

-

09:59

LAUGHING BECAUSE THE OPENING CREDITS ARE LITERALLY HALFWAY INTO THE EPISODE

-

10:03

throughout the entire book azi just came across as the kind of person who wore glasses even though glasses were never once mentioned

I AM GLAD TO SEE GLASSES

-

10:12

i like this colour palette and the gold in their makeup

-

10:27

“we can go off together”

omg the world’s ending and crowley’s all RUN AWAY WITH MEEE

-

10:31

okay then

good eyelashes

edit: i also like how their relationship was explained with a simple tap on the wrist: hurry up, you’re on the clock, i’m a sex worker, finish your call because i’m leaving

-

10:32

episode three DONE

these eps don’t feel long enough

maybe that means the pacing is just right? who knows

i feel like i should be doing something other than watching this but..... why

--

EPISODE 4: Saturday Morning Funtime

10:48pm

aziraphale is SOFT and he’s perfect like that <3

fuck u gabriel and your body shaming

-

10:53

i want delivery guy to be okay BUT I READ THE BOOK

so............... i know he will be...... eventually

-

10:55

how did they get photographs taken in the 1600s

-

oh gabriel’s eyes ARE purple, i thought i was seeing them wrong

-

11:02

“maud i love you”

noo ho hoooo

-

11:09

a little douglas adams, definitely

BUT NO PEPPER POT DALEK

AWW

-

11:10

the season is very much jumping between summer and autumn

though i suppose that’s the point, tadfield is just perfect

-

11:12

“which the internet has begun to refer to as the kracken”

i wonder if good omens inadvertently inspired me to write The Wireless a couple of years back. wouldn’t be surprising

edit: no, couldn’t have, because the internet wasn’t much of a thing (or a thing at all?) in the book, given its publish date

-

11:20

that’s a v nice dress/top combo

gosh she’s so pretty

-

11:30

crowley: “we can run away together!!! alpha centauri!!!”

aw baby

-

crowley: “i’m going home, angel! i’m getting my stuff, and i am leaving. and when i am up in the stars, i won’t even think about you!!”

THAT WAS A V SAD BREAKUP NOOOOO

why has there not been a single “dear” yet :c

-

11:37

oh no, this part

i loved this in the book but i am NOT READY for maggots

damn you gaiman

-

11:39

he’s so cute

and so gay

-

11:42

uriel: “don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses will get you special treatment in hell”

he looks kinda delighted uriel called crowley his boyfriend

i would say he looks worried but this shot was used without context in the trailer and it came across as genuine joy, i actually thought he was looking at crowley

-

11:46

i thought it was a strange throne before

a spider at the centre of a web

dark halo

yeah

-

11:51

oh now she’s a redhead???

-

also i’m glad they implied newt and anathema just kissed because the sex thing was weird in the book

-

okay never mind

hmm

-

12:05

aziraphale: “oh.................ffffUCK.”

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

-

12:07

oh no

it’s happening

oh no

i hate this part but i love what happens because of it

-

12:29am

i have eaten and now i have tea and i am back from MORE BOOKSHOP FIRE

-

EPISODE 5: The Doomsday Option

12:31

nuuuuuuuuuu

and “you’re my best friend” playing while crowley’s tryna call azi

nuuuuuu

-

“somebody killed my best friend”

jfhsdfjsdj

/sobs

-

12:36

freddie mercury: “somebody find me somebody tooo ooo looove”

edit: the narration WRECKED this. it was so dramatic and visually emotional but the voiceover completely screwed with it and it was SO UNNECESSARY.

-

12:46

crowley: “i lost my best friend”

he says, while crying, while talking to that friend

-

THE ONE BOOK HE WANTS IS THE ONE CROWLEY SAVED

THEY’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER

-

azi wanted to share crowley’s body

and then said they had to get a wiggle on

-

12:52

they cut out the hell’s angels / lesser horsemen

i figured they would, but still a shame

-

1:54

in the book tracy’s “spirit guide” was native american but daaaaaamn that part really needed to go

now she’s irish which is... better, probably

-

01:01

ron: “SHUT. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP”

this guy’s having the time of his life

-

01:03

he wave

-

01:05

1926 bentley; sexiest car right next to the ‘67 chevy impala

-

01:08

omg gotta translate and explain the road

-

01:13

OH NO the maggots are about to happen

they changed the placement of this but it worked for the pacing

-

OH NO

-

k well the maggots were gross but not as bad as i imagined

-

01:31

omg the dog turned upside down rather than be picked up

i wonder if that was intentional

dog: I DO NOT WANT UP

-

01:34

pfff he’s reading “american gods” by neil gaiman

-

01:44am

10/10 flaming car

-

EPISODE 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives

01:51am

here we go...

-

01:55

azi so happy that crowley said the dress suits him <3

-

01:57

rip bentley

-

01:59

aziraphale: “we are here to lick some serious butt!!”

crowley: “kick!! kick, aziraphale, for heaven’s sake”

-

02:06

i freaking love the parallel between the Them and the horsemen in the book

and i love that they did face shots to show the parallel

pepper = war

wensleydale = famine

brian = pollution

adam = death

the parallel is less clear for brian and wensleydale, at least in the show. was more obvious in the book. but at the same time i kind of got confused between them a lot, brian was always eating, but wensleydale was named after cheese

-

02:14

pepper: “i do not endorse everyday sexism”

/STOMPS ON WAR’S FOOT

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

-

02:25

shadwell: “anyone who wants ta get ta the hoore of babylon will have to get past me”

earlier anathema said “boyfriend”

may i point out that all the adults are paired up

shadwell & madame tracy

newt & anathema

......and....

aziraphale and crowley

-

0:28

crowley: “we are FUCKED”

these two need a holiday

-

azi: “come up with something... or.... or i’ll never talk to you again”

he knows crowley loves him aww

perfect blackmail material

-

02:32

they went from trying to kill him to being his gay angel parents real quick

-

02:35

thought they were holding hands for a second there

edit: regardless, a whole damn airfield and they’re 2cm apart

-

02:39

happy ending for the postman, hooray~

-

crowley about the bookshop, softly: “it burned down. remember? you can stay at my place”

awwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

-

02:42

CROWLEY GOT HIS CAR BACK AND YET HE TOOK A TAXI

-

02:45

anathema: “why is your car called dick turpin?”

newt: “dick turpin is a famous highwayman. it’s called dick turpin because everywhere it goes, it holds up traffic”

i laughed

this wasn’t in the book and i always wondered

-

02:51

i wonder if holy water wouldn’t burn him because he’s too good

-

03:00

gabriel: “don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine, i’m the angel fucking gabriel”

really enjoying these swears

-

03:03

i thought so

-

03:30am

paused for a bit to get ready for bed

i thought it was after 4am but nope

-

“there would be other summers, but not one like this. not ever again”

that genuinely makes me emotional

i think that’s why it’s my favourite book, i can relive that summer with them

-

03:35

omg

-

OH MY GOD

WAIT

THEY

OH MY GOD

THEY WEREN’T IMMUNE, THEY JUST SWAPPED PLACES

HOLY SHIT

edit: THIS WAS NOT IN THE BOOK AND IT’S BRILLIANT AND I’M GLAD IT’S HERE

-

crowley: “let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?

azi: “~temptation accomplished~!”

THEY’RE SO STINKING CUTE

-

“just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing”

perfect

STILL NO USE OF “DEAR” THOUGH AND IT’S KILLING ME

-

that ending with the bird made me teary-eyed

-

credits: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AS SATAN

WOW

OKAY

AKSFJDSF /snorts

-

the end credits and the song i just wanna bawl my eyes out

i loved this so much and i’m so glad it was GOOD

i loved that they added so many people of colour. in the book i imagined crowley played by alexander siddig (star trek: deep space 9 era) but i guess david tennant makes a pretty good crowley too

i’m trying not to be upset that my favourite scene with the dove and aziraphale’s affectionate use of “dear” was taken out

but 

this was damn good regardless. even gayer in places than in the book

-

this nightingale song is my new favourite song

i never got the reference before

“and as we kissed and said goodnight, an nightingale sang in berkeley square:

GAY

SO GAY

i love

-

the end of the credits “For Terry”

ACTUAL OUT LOUD SOBBING

TERRY YOU WOULD’VE LOVED THIS

NEIL DID YOU PROUD

-

oh this was so beautiful

i’m gonna watch it again with my family probably within the week. i’m so emotionally tender now

azIRAPHALE WAS SO FLUFFY AND CROWLEY WAS SO NICE ABOUT THE BOOKS

ugh i love them more than ever

anathema...... i don’t know if i relate to her, want to be her, look up to her, want her to mentor me, live with her, or find her attractive. maybe all of the above. but she was freaking PERFECT. PE R F E CT 

the casting was so... just right. thank you casting people for anathema.

like... i also didn’t mind the newt/anathema thing so much now. it was hard to tell in the book how much of a relationship they had after, but that smile she gave while lying in bed the morning after, that worked, it said a lot. and i like that it was her choice to burn the prophecy sequel rather than newt’s suggestion

gabriel was amusing. like.. i’m glad he wasn’t in the book. but he was great here. also really like michael and uriel. uriel was so damn beautiful.

i also would really have liked to see a mention of the fact crowley and aziraphale are both agender and potentially asexual. not even a hint of it here. buuuuuut it guess i know from the book. so.

my favourite episode was of course episode 3 with crowley and aziraphale’s 6000 year backstory. especially the 1940s bit where crowley saved the books <3

this show was was less confusing than the book too. ugh it was done so well

OH

we didn’t see where the soldier guy went when aziraphale zapped him away!!! in the book he reappeared safely back home and went out to see his family. to be fair i don’t know whether he died and went to heaven, but it was a nice thing to happen

and they took out the Them’s bully/rival gang, who was led by the third baby from the baby swap, and who won awards for his tropical fish. at least that’s what i remember. which meant the parallel about heaven/hell being rival gangs was lost here. but the parallel between the horsemen and the them was stronger than ever and i loved that.

look, i mean, 10 out of 10, EASY.

favourite thing? yes. yes, absolutely.

--

shoutout to the one time i wrote a Good Omens/Destiel crossover fic The Angel Cake Challenge

IT’S 04:02am THIS TOOK ME 12 HOURS

04:40am AND FORTY MINUTES TO EDIT

congrats if you made it to the end of this!!! thank you for reading <3 AND GO WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

[littlesilverplatinum]

😉 ; Are there any ships for your muse that you enjoy, or ships that you would like to see happen? 😳 ; What is something or someone you have always wanted to write with? i.e. a particular plot, a character, etc.🙄 ; What are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to tumblr? 😠 ; Is there anything you dislike about your muse? ☹️ ; Do you have any insecurities about writing and/or interacting with other people?😮 ; What is your favourite thing about your muse?😍 ; Is there anyone who inspire

Munday Meme Part 1Send a Symbol@heartbxnd

—

😉 ; Arethere any ships for your muse that you enjoy, or ships that you would like tosee happen?

—

Shippinghas always been fun for me, and Ihave always enjoyed the experiences I have had regarding the pairs I havegotten the pleasure of writing over the years. Regarding ships for Hikari that I enjoy? It’s not a canoncharacter ship by any stretch of the imagination – but I deeply adore the shipbetween me and my friend Red (@xhentai-man / @redicidium). Jay and Hikari still sit very, very dear within my heart, andregardless how many other dynamics we create for hers and mines characters – the two of them stand out as the original OTP of this blog.–Regarding ‘canon’ ships? (Aka, Hikari’s Main verse/Pokémon verse).I have always enjoyed the dynamic of villains/anti-heroesand protagonists – and I neverreally thought myself to get that, given that there a lot of… Well, let’s say there’snot a lot of respect for charactersthat are developed beyond their ten year old canonical counterparts. (And I do realize there’s good reason for itat times, and that Hikari isn’t exactly a shining example – as she is, in mindand body, still a teenager.) But, well, I have been proven a bit wrong with that, haha.

So, Archer and Hikari (@executive-geneticist) is a ship I’m looking forward to seeingdevelop as time goes on, and it’s a ship that I enjoy greatly – even if notmuch has been built around it as of yet, beyond small mentions of things.

(Then, of course, there’s the ships I havegotten to write with friends on the side, or through drabbles. You can countyourself in this category, Vani ;v )

—

😳 ; What is something or someone you have always wanted to write with? i.e.a particular plot, a character, etc.

—

Surprisingly, the people that I have really wanted to write with, I have gotten the chance to write with. If allthose experiences, at the end of the day, was enjoyable? Well, noteverything can pan out in your favor. But, most of them have left me feeling happy, and were great experiences.(And truly, most of these haven’t ended –and I still talk to these people as often as the opportunity presents itself.)–Plots that I would like to do is abit harder to give a true answer to,as I have so many things that I wantto write, but most likely won’t. I would love the chance of having a threadwith Hikari’s father, regarding his ‘healing’crafts of which he left his family behind to pursue. Yet I realize that it’s a bitimpossible, given where his storylays in this moment – and that I need to move him forward in his timeframe, ifI want to have interactions that would be genuinely interesting.

Other thingsare just… To get to try more different themesof interactions, be they adventurebased or something else entirely. Igreatly enjoy world building withinthreads, and so that’s something I will always jump on to work through with awilling partner, should the chance present itself. (This goes for character development as well – as it’s wonderful to getto share that experience with a writing partner.) AU’s, of course, are greatfuntoo – and I really want to do paranormalrelated threads, because they seem like they would be a lot of fun. Themes differ,and I do have ideas for severalthings regarding hauntings, possessions or… anythinglike it.–I just haven’t gotten the chance to write it with anyone, or present it tosomeone who I could do a true thread with… Ifthat makes sense?

—

(Eye roll emoji) ; What are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to tumblr?

—

You’re trying to get me in trouble, aren’t you Vani?

This will strictly be about the rp side oftumblr, rather than the website as a whole:

Alright so…I’m sure this happens in any forumfor roleplay, but it’s something I have personal only noticed, since joiningthe tumblr rpc this past year. –Thread hoarders should really reconsider how they treat theirplatform. What I mean by that, is that it appears that people don’t see a limit to how many starter calls they will put up, how many calls for attention they give, so that they get piled up with things they need to do that – I suppose – makes them feel busyand important?A simplification of the matter, yes,but it’s always easier to understand things when they are simplified so… give me abreak. Lol.

Aka – it’s stupid of you to put out starter calls, or plotting calls, inbox callsor whatever you may do, when you KNOWthat you have 10+ threads and requests for starters sitting in yourdrafts. Because, y’know where that eventuallyleads you? You make a post that you’re goingto drop half of them, and only keep the interactions that you care about (often with friends – which isn’t bad mindyou)…. Only to then, in the samebreath, ask for more interactions.–As though you couldn’t understand WHY you had to drop things in the firstplace.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING A FEWINTERACTIONS AT A TIME! Seriously… I personally can’t handleit, if I have more than a few threads going at one time – and often the threadsI have are ‘demanding’, as I write a lot. Which is the way I like it, but that’s beside the point… Peopleneed to know their limits, and understand that it’s pretty shittybehavior to either ask for a starter that you KNOW you’ll never get to, or to promise starters and replies thatyou never intend to do.

It’s even shittier, if you can’tmessage the person who wrote something for you to let them know that you’re not actually feeling thethread/starter you two have together. Seriously… Trust me when I say thatthe people that you reject along the way will be happier that you were honestwith them, rather than leaving them in the dirt without messaging them back.

We all makemistakes, and I’m not perfect in these things either… But I know my limits.

Just.Please stop.

—

😠 ; Is there anything you dislike about your muse?

—

I alwaysfind questions like this hard to answer – even if the givenquestion asks for something I like about my muse. Because, of course I like my muse – and ofcourse there’s things I don’t like about my muse. But it’s hard to point them out, as often youview your characters through a bit of rose-tinted glasses that are hard to lookbeyond.–Just… Simply regarding Hikari as a person?She really holds grudges againstcertain people, yet can’t stand up against them. She is weak in so many ways, beit physically or mentally. Yet it’s not something that seemingly affects her inher ability to function. Hikari willinglyblinds herself to some things, and indulges herself far too much in others. And it’s hard to explain these things, as it allhas to do with context – but Hikari has many flaws within her personality and behavior,and I do hope that, in general, it showsin my writing regarding her.

Other thanthat…. From a mun/writer perspective? Girl is taxing as hell- pfft. I don’tdislike it about her, as I really do enjoy writing her – and its reallyall I do in my spare time, when given the option to. Seriously- my mind spins around with scenarios andideas regarding Hikari and her world constantly, and I can’t shut it the fUCK UP. But it can be mentallytaxing sometimes.

Somethingthat I combat by simply… turning my focusto any of my other characters, haha.

—

☹️ ; Do you have any insecurities about writing and/or interacting withother people?

—

Oh, absolutely! Though some of my fears haveleft me, as time has gone on, some still lingerand are seemingly… impossible to movepast. I do realize that, anyone that has ever talked to me for any longerthan a few minutes via privates chats can tell you that I’m,,, awkwardas hell. And I’m greatly aware of this fact, and it really doesn’thelp me in feeling as though I’m notan annoyance, or like I don’t say oddthings. I don’t know if it’s me having trouble coming into my own skin andfeeling confident in my thoughts and feelings, or excitements for certainthings – or if I’m truly socially inept haha. Either way – regarding characterinteraction… I, in general, just always stress about my writing. Thatit’s not as good as I would want itto be, that the starters I write for people lackdirection (even though they don’t appearthat way to me) and just… simplethings like that. If my way of writing is hard to read, if it’s toomuch, if Hikari is as flat as aboard and I just think that Ihave developed a decent character out of a protagonist that lacks anything besides appearance and the strengthyou give them along the way.

Just, y’know…casual such things.

—

😮 ; What is your favourite thing about your muse?

—

See theabove answer regarding what I dislike about my muse. It’s just… such a hard question ;;

—

😍 ; Is there anyone who inspires you or that you look up to?

—

My biggest writing inspiration to this day,and who has really changed the way I write for (hopefully) the better – is themangaka Asano Inio. Specifically, though it’s not the only work of his that I deeply enjoy and take inspiration from, Oyasumi Punpun. Just… Though its imagery,rather than written work where you have to imagine it all on your own, thingsare just told in such a beautiful manner – I feel I just have to capture those elements within my own writing.And I do really hope that I do itjustice, or that I can get at least even a fractionof a thousand closer to being as goodas him at telling stories and build characters that feel real. It’s a big reasonfor why I don’t try to (or subconsciouslydon’t) shy away from things thataren’t pretty regarding mycharacters. Let them have horrible, horriblethoughts – let them fail and do thingsthat are wrong. It makes them feel all the more real, or at least to me. Take inspiration from places that I havebeen, imagery that stuck out aboutthem and find the small things inlife to focus in on, that makes it all feel like a dream. Be they the way raindrops off a leaf that has fully come into its own, vibrant spring color – or the way rain sounds against wooden boardson a late summer evening.

That’s what Asano Inio has inspired me to do, and I am so grateful to have found his work.

…. Now, of course there’s people within thiscommunity that inspire me as well – and I do feel I can tag them, as all ofthem are friends of mine who I enjoytalking to both in just private, and ic. These are not the only people I enjoy writing with or for – but they are people whose writing I really enjoy, and I treasure beingable to write and talk with:

@xhentai-man, you soviet scum ;v you know i love everything we do@the-executives-stratagem, plotting with you is sO great and I love everything that we have going @executive-geneticist, you’re a joy to talk to, and your writing is engaging as hell and just… yes plz@puffyhat-kotone, best Lyra in the world I adore her with my whole heart, good wife best wife!!@magicmagikarp, out here bringing me high quality material and writing 10/10 would recommend 

[thatyanderecritic]

Mystic Messenger

Title: Mystic Messenger

Media: Game. Maker: Cheritz

Yandere(s): Jumin Han, Yoosung Kim, Ray (Real name: Saeran Choi)

Yandere Scale (In order as shown above): 1/5, 3/5, 4/5

Criticism written by: Kai

Editor: Julie

The Review:

Hey there everyone! Kai here and I’m coming back with another yandere review. This time around, I’ll be reviewing the incredibly popular otome game, Mystic Messenger. It’s one of my favorite otome games out there and I’m highly opinionated about this game. Cheritz is known to include at least one yandere in their games; Mystic Messenger being no exception to that rule. For Mystic Messenger, they have a whopping three yanderes and I thankfully played all their routes on my free time for fun. Now let’s check out their yanderes, hm?

(I’m just going to assume that everyone knows the story but if you don’t, you can read the summary here)

Jumin Han:

I’ll be upfront for everyone here: Jumin is my least favorite route out of all the guys in the game. I found it to be boring, too overhyped by the fans, and Jumin’s personality to be rather lame. That being said, take some of my opinions with a grain of salt.

Now then, is Jumin a yandere? Eeeeeeh, I guess?

I describe Jumin as “baby’s first yandere”. He’s very lowkey about it and anything to suggest he is a yandere is so vague that it just went over my head. I found myself having to scrutinize everything he does and say with a goddamn microscope. Spoiler alert: if your readers have to try really hard to look for evidence that he’s a yandere, then he’s not a very good yandere. Instead, I found the other characters having to tell me that Jumin, is in fact, a yandere. Every single chatroom that have the other characters talk about Jumin in his route all go: “Oh!!! You better watch out!!! Jumin is super possessive and obsessive about you MC!!!” or “Oh man!!! Jumin gives me the creep vibes!!! There’s something unsettling about him!!!”  

I mean… I guess? Spoiler alert 2: If you have to have your side characters tell the MC that the male lead is a yandere (instead of just showing it), then he isn’t a good yandere. Like jesus Cheritz, what happened to you? You used to be pretty good in including yanderes in your games… Jumin is just… pathetic. It’s felt like they put up a bunch of neon signs around Jumin then forget to write him as a yandere. The only “yandere part” about Jumin was how he locked up the MC in his penthouse. But to be fair, the MC’s life was in danger and she willingly stays there. In fact, the whole “Locked up” part seemed rather half assed. Besides that, there wasn’t anything else about Jumin that makes him a yandere… well, besides the other characters telling me he is. Can you believe that Cheritz had the gall to compare Jumin to Jisoo from Dandelion (their other otome game)? That’s like comparing apples and oranges… just because they’re both fruits doesn’t make them the same thing.

Jumin’s route is so not worth to play if you’re hoping to “woo a yandere”. It’s honestly a waste of time and you’re better off googling Jumin’s bad end 2 CG if you want that yandere aesthetic. If you want to see some better yanderes, just check out the other two… Let’s talk about Yoosung.

Yoosung Kim:

It might come as a surprise by Yoosung was a far better and stronger yandere than Jumin. While the game was focusing so hard on portraying Jumin as a yandere, they never realize that they struck gold with Yoosung. Funny enough, I think the reason why Jumin was such a bad yandere was because cheritz concentrated on him so much that they fucked up and since they didn’t focus on Yoosung, that’s why he came out as a better yandere. But the only problem with Yoosung is that…

… He isn’t a yandere for you.

Yes, that’s right. Yoosung is a yandere but he is not a yandere for you. He is obsessed with his older cousin, Rika. Throughout his route, he won’t shut up about her. It’s “Rika this” and “Rika that”. Yoosung really tested my patients on how long I’ll stick to his route. Eventually though, Yoosung starts to the MC as his replacement for Rika. He sees Rika in the MC and start comparing the two… even thinking that they’re the same person. At some points, Yoosung really wants to turn MC into Rika. Yoosung likes you… but not THE you but the Rika version. Of course, for his good end he learns to differentiate between you two and learn how to love the MC as she is but it doesn’t change the fact that Yoosung was a yandere at certain points.

In the end, Yoosung is a yandere for his cousin. The only thing about him is A) he tries to end up with someone else by turning her into his cousin and B) he ends up loving someone else (the MC). Regardless on how you look at it, Yoosung broke our loyalty rule. I say go ahead and play his route if you want a yandere story and don’t mind being a cuck for 75% of his route. Yoosung got some pretty good yandere moments and bad endings.

Ray:

Oh my god. Ray was the best yandere I’ve seen throughout Cheritz’s games. He was damn near close to being the perfect yandere (well… my taste. But also he clicked off the ideal yandere check marks). Right off the bat, we see his clinginess to the MC, his mental instability, fear of losing the MC, and his jealousy to the other characters. He was such a sweetheart and to top it off he risked his life in saving the MC. Ray was *muah* the perfect recipe for an ideal yandere (my type). But unfortunately… Cheritz just had to ruin it.

Towards the middle Ray had a personality switch. Fearing that he wasn’t strong enough to protect the MC, Ray sort of… “killed” himself and created his alternative personality: edgy Saeran. I was absolutely heartbroken with Ray leaving for good and leaving behind that asshole. Immediately the new personality treated the MC sadistically. He starved her, spoke down to her, and was all round a piece of shit. BRING BACK MY BABY BOI CHERITZ, YOU FUCKING MONSTERS. COWARDS.

This was my last straw. I deleted Mystic Messengers right at that point and never opened it since. Ray was such a good yandere and they had to ruin it. Ray’s route is only good up to the point till his personality switch. After that it went down hill and he doesn’t even have any yandere bad endings. Fuck that.

Final thoughts:

Yoosung is the only route to play for completion if you want a yandere story. Ray was ideal but Cheritz ruined it and don’t even bother with Jumin’s route.

I have a love/hate relationship with Mystic Messenger. It was an interesting story and the concept was good in theory, but in the end the Cons out way the Pros. For one: the game is almost unplayable if you have a social life. The chatroom, phone calls, texts, and emails were a neat concept for interactive storytelling. But the issue lays in the fact you have to wait for these things to pop up. I don’t know about y’all but I have family, friends, a job, and school. Ain’t nobody got time to wait for that 2 PM phone call or that 1 AM chatroom. That’s fucking ridiculous. And don’t you tell me I can miss a couple of chatroom or phone calls. For one, it’s not like I’m missing one chatroom but multiple. I can have a pretty busy day and never have a chance to pick up my phone. Some of those chatrooms are pretty important if you want to get a good ending. There’s also the fact that I’m a completionist… I want to see ALL the content in the game. Not pick and choose what I have time for. And don’t bring up that it’s free or the hourglasses. I rather pay the game for the full price than do a microtransactions… and grinding for hourglasses is a bitch and you know it. I recalled I calculated how much it cause to complete all routes (The main cast. Not including V or Ray or the phone calls) by paying for all the missing chatroom or paying for the day… it was over $300 folks. $300 in microtransaction. Cheritz is fucking crazy. Thank god I fucking hacked this game.

There’s way more complaints about this game (like the emails. I’m tired of having three different walkthroughs up just to get through this god damn game) but I’m just talking about the main function for those interested in playing after read this review. Gameplay is really fucked and unfriendly for those with personal lives. Be ready to waste 7 days of your life to finish this game. All I’m say, Cheritz (even though I know they’re not reading), you guys should have two modes for Mystic Messenger: one where it’s like a standard otome game where the chatroom come one right after the other and you don’t get a penalty for missing chatrooms (the game actually pauses on where you stopped) for a flat rate price of what the entire game is worth… and then the free option where you play the game in the usual default state. That’s all I’m asking and it makes logical sense.

Anyways. That’s my gripe about the game and the yanderes. Play at your own discretion.

Overall Score: 7/10

(Side note: Honestly, I love the Mystic Messenger fandom but at the same time I wonder if we played the same game sometimes. The worst part is how some people won’t criticize Cheritz and their game. Like damn… some of y’all are more forgiving than Jesus Christ himself.)

[blu-joons]

DATING SEVENTEEN A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Joshua Hong

A ⇴ AFFECTION 

The closeness and connection that comes with affection is something that Joshua values the most. Building the physical connection with you is crucial to him, any time that he can hold you, he’ll take it in a heartbeat.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 

It took a little while for Joshua to build up the courage to say hello when he spotted you in the restaurant. Your eyes had been on the noisy table for most of the night, unaware of his eyes on you. Several of the boys had picked up on him staring across at you, eventually pushing him to head over to you and introduce himself.

C ⇴ CONFESSION 

He wasn’t someone who tended to act quickly, Joshua took his time in getting to know you before he decided to confess to you. Joshua ended up confessing to you one evening when you stayed with him late at work. It was a small gesture, but you were clueless to just how much it meant to him. It was the final piece of the puzzle that was his heart in knowing that you were the one that he wanted to be able to call his.

D ⇴ DATES 

Pretty much all of your dates ended up involving foodie, Joshua loved to take you out to dinner, or even try and cook something just the two of you. He definitely considers himself as one of the better cooks in the group and enjoys showing off to you just how talented he is. Dates at the dorm are definitely his favourite, and he loves to sit down and enjoy a meal with a movie too. Horror is usually his choosing, which is definitely not something that you approve of, but he’ll make you watch them anyway.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 

He was well aware he’d been painted as the gentleman before he even started dating, and he didn’t want to disappoint when he eventually began dating you. He didn’t want to ever disappoint you or be something that wasn’t expected. He was always making a conscious effort to hold the door for you or push you into your seat because the boys had hyped him up so much around you as the gentleman. No matter how many times you assured him he didn’t have to be that guy all the time, he still wanted to.

F ⇴ FIGHTING 

His deal of being the gentleman translated into arguments too. No matter how angry you got over anything, Joshua would never raise his voice or insult you. Sure, there were times when he felt wronged or that you weren’t listening to him, but rather than get loud too, he’d just calmly explain to you how he was feeling. Fights were often overwhelming for you, and so he’d always be there to give you a hug and calm you down when you got yourself worked up, no matter just how frustrated he might have been in that moment. Regardless, Joshua always makes sure that he’s putting you first.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

It didn’t take long for his mum to arrive, desperate to meet you. Being an only child, his family wanted to make sure that he found someone that made him happy, and thankfully, he had. His mum especially visited a lot more often than before when you came into his life, she absolutely adored the two of you together.

H ⇴ HOME 

After a couple of months, Joshua definitely began to explore moving out of the dorm. He wanted to be able to give you a space for the two of you, even if you assured him that you were happy being at the dorm, he always worried that you just said it. He knew he couldn’t live at the dorm forever too, especially when he had the chance to live with you.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 

Joshua was the first to say, ‘I love you,’ at the end of one of your dates. He made sure to walk you all the way to your door, but just as you turned around to say goodbye, he came out with those three little words instead. You were definitely taken aback to begin with, but soon invited him into your home, not wanting to leave your date just yet.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY 

Being jealous wasn’t something that tended to happen too much with Joshua. He didn’t have too much of a problem if you were around another guy or one of the members, as long as you were smiling, then he didn’t feel like he had anything to worry about. However, the moment that he began to notice your smile drop, a streak of jealousy and anger would hit him, and he’d make his way over just to see how you were. If he needed to be, he was very protective of you, and never let anyone hurt you or upset you.

K ⇴ KIDS 

Joshua often told you how he wanted to have children in the future, as it was down to him to be the one to give his parents grandchildren. Whether it was Korea or America, Joshua was keen to build a strong family foundation with you and become a dad one day. He told you frequently how he saw enlistment as a target, as with many of his members not around, he had a lot more time to focus on you instead.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER 

One of the things he loved to do the most was making other people laugh, he was a bright personality whose presence would often leave others around him smiling too. He doesn’t mind too much of how big a fool he makes himself as long as it’s making the others around him happy. You’d heard rumours from the start of your relationship about his signature dancing, and the first time you saw it, definitely didn’t disappoint you. Whenever you had a down day, he’d happily dance in front of you as he knew that it was one of the best things to put a smile on your face, not stopping until you were smiling once again.

M ⇴ MISSING 

The fans could be forgiven for thinking that Joshua coped just fine without you when he was on the road, but those that he was close to, just like his members, knew exactly how hard he found it being away from you. At group dinners or rehearsals, they’d often pick up when his mood was a little lower, he wouldn’t laugh at a joke or ignore someone calling out his name. Whenever he spoke to you too, he often would try and put on an act to try and convince you that he was doing just fine. But like the boys, you knew Joshua very well, and could always tell when he was missing you on the road.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES 

Joshua would often use English nicknames for you, which many of his members wouldn’t understand. ‘Sweetheart,’ or, ‘darling,’ would be the two that would come up the most, which you loved to hear come from him.

O ⇴ OBSESSION 

He was obsessed with your hands, he loved to be able to hold his much bigger ones in yours and tease you for the size difference between the two of them.

P ⇴ PDA 

Protective affection was something that Joshua was big on, the fans would often comment on how they always saw him keeping you safe whenever you were out together. He loved that his caring side was recognised by so many of the fans in forums or cafes when they saw the two of you out exploring with each other.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS 

He worried a lot, and so would often ask you if you were doing alright. Even if he’d asked you just a few moments ago, he’d soon be asking you again. You could only ever roll your eyes and laugh at just how big of a worrier he was.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 

You know that Joshua never expects anything from you, if he needs a favour or help, he’ll never ask anyone. So, you often like to create special occasions for the two of you to remind him that you’re there. He’ll often come home to dinner prepared, but despite telling you that he never expects you to do any of this for him, you’ll always remind him that you’re just caring for him, and that nothing ever has to be expected.

S ⇴ SEX 

He’s very much a soft dom in the bedroom, he likes to be the one that does all the hard work and takes the lead, but he’s a romantic, and his lead is filled with a lot of affection. The most important thing to Joshua is always that you’re comfortable and happy, your needs come before his 100% of the time, if you even so much as try and forget about what you want, he’ll refuse to accept anything from you.

T ⇴ TEXTS 

If he misses the chance to see you in the day, he’ll always text you and see how you are. He’ll often text you with favours too, asking if you need a lift home or if you took lunch into work with you, or if you need him to do it for you.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE 

Joshua often wondered how love would change his life, but he never imagined that it would have the impact that it did. He loved being able to treat you like you deserved, and only ever helped to be perfect for you.

V ⇴ VACATION 

Whenever he had the chance to go away with you, he’d make sure that it was special. If he heard you mention a place that you loved, he’d make sure to book a trip there as soon as possible. You’d often argue for a trip to America, but he tended to refuse and would choose to take you somewhere that you wanted to go as a thank you for all your support.

W ⇴ WHINING 

Joshua didn’t tend to whine a lot, he would be patient for your attention, and would wait only for when you had the time for him.

X ⇴ XXXXX 

You received a lot of kisses from Joshua, he couldn’t help himself whenever you were before him just to reach forwards and grab onto you. Any part of exposed skin that he could find would often have his lips pressed against it. For any occasion, as far as Joshua is concerned, a kiss will do the trick, if you’re happy, they make you happier, and if you’re sad, then they’ll definitely help to make you happier again too.

Y ⇴ YOU 

You were his best friend, the one that he always wanted to keep protected.

Z ⇴ ZZZ 

At night, Joshua loved to sleep with you as close to him as possible. He’d hold you incredibly tightly, usually to a point where you had to tell him to loosen off a bit, but he couldn’t help but keep you nice and warm as you slept.

---

Masterlist

[ase-trollplays]

-- capriciousThespian [CT] began trolling pharosDweller [PD] --

-- capriciousThespian [CT] began trolling pharosDweller [PD] --

[05:33] CT: You!~

[05:34] PD: begin\\ Me. //end

[05:34] CT: You're The One Tragedy H!red To Be My Keeper, Yes???~

[05:35] PD: begin\\ That's a blunt way of putting it, but essentially. //end

[05:36] CT: Well Let Me Just Say You're Terr!ble At !t!~

[05:37] CT: !'ve Been Go!ng Utterly !nsane For The Last Three Per!gees, And ! Never Heard From You Once!~ Do ! Have To Do Everyth!ng Myself?!~

[05:43] PD: begin\\ Oh shit, was that not you? Was I following around the wrong prissy little indigo for three perigee? //end

[05:43] CT: Pr!ssy?!~

[05:43] CT: How Dare You!~

[05:44] CT: And !'m Not L!ttle!!~

[05:49] PD: begin\\ Alright, you're right, that wasn't fair. My apologies. //end

[05:49] PD: begin\\ Vertically challeneged. //end

[05:49] CT: UGH!!!~

[05:49] CT: ! Can't Bel!eve Tragedy Thought A Moron L!ke You Would Be Any Help To Me!~

[05:50] PD: begin\\ I think the general idea was for me to antagonize you into letting out your aggressive tendancies on me, instead of some undeserving innocent bystander. //end

[05:52] CT: So You Volunteered To Be K!lled, Then?~ You Really Are A Moron~

[05:55] CT: And For The Record, !nnocent People May D!e At My Hand Regardless~

[05:55] CT: ! Prom!sed By Beloved ! wouldn't K!ll Senselessly Any Longer, But !'m Go!ng Crazy~

[05:56] CT: ! Can Tell !'m Los!ng Her Love, And !t's Mak!ng Me Crazy~

[05:57] CT: And !f ! Lose Her, Then What Am ! Supper!ng For??~ What W!ll Have Been The Po!nt!!?~

[05:57] CT: ((*Suffering))

[05:57] CT: !f She's Go!ng To Throw Me Away Anyways, Then What's The Po!nt Of Honor!ng Our Prom!se?~

[05:58] CT: ! Came To You Because !'m G!v!ng You Exactly One Chance To Change My M!nd, Otherw!se Trolls _W!ll_ D!e~

[05:59] CT: So Do Your Job!~ Mo!ra!l me!~ G!ve Me One Reason Not To K!ll Everyone ! Come Across As Soon As ! Log Off!!~

[06:07] PD: begin\\ Okay, in order. I promise you couldn't kill me, even if I let you try. Second, if you consider honoring a promise to a loved one "suffering", you may need to reconsider your priorities. Third, have you considered that if you go on a mindless killing spree, eventually someone that you try to kill is going to kill you instead? //end

[06:09] CT: !f ! D!e, Then So Be !t!~ !'d Rather Be Dead Than W!thout My Altr!!'s Love!~

[06:10] CT: ! Made Her The Center Of My World~

[06:10] CT: Revolved My Ent!re Un!verse Around Her, And What Does She Do?~

[06:10] CT: She Threatens To Abandon Me Just L!ke

[06:10] CT: ! Won't Even Say Her Name~

[06:11] CT: ! made Her My Everyth!ng, And She Doesn't Apprec!ate !t At All!~

[06:11] PD: begin\\ Why did she threaten to abandon you? //end

[06:12] CT: She Refuses To Trust Me~ Sure, ! Haven't Been The Perfect Mate, But ! Made Her My Empress And Answered To Her Every Beck And Call~

[06:12] CT: She Wanted Me To Change, So ! D!d, And She Won't Bel!eve Me!~

[06:13] CT: ! D!d Everyth!ng For That Ungrateful Harpy, And She Won't See Reason!~

[06:13] PD: begin\\ What did you change for her? //end

[06:15] CT: ! Stopped Spree K!ll!ng, ! Stopped Avo!d!ng Her When ! Made M!stakes, And ! Even Tr!ed To Get Along W!th Tragedy~

[06:15] CT: But She !ns!sts My Love For Her !n "Unhealthy" and "Dangerous" As Though Center!ng My Ent!re Be!ng Around Her !sn't The most Grand Of Romant!c GEstures~

[06:15] CT: ((*Is))

[06:18] PD: begin\\ It sounds like the issue might be that the two of you have different ideas of what constitutes a healthy matespritship. //end

[06:19] CT: She Used To Love My Adorat!on Of Her, But Now She Says !'m Suffocat!ng Her!

[06:19] CT: She Knew ! Had !ssues When She Agreed To Be My Mate!~ She Knew What She Was S!gn!ng Up For!~

[06:20] CT: And The Fact That She's Try!ng To Treat My Love For Her L!ke Garbage To Be Taken Out !s !nfur!at!ng!~

[06:22] PD: begin\\ Alright. Your feelings of betrayal and anger are normal and understandable. I assume you've tried communicating these feelings to her? //end

[06:26] CT: Of Course ! Have!~

[06:26] CT: Not Recently, Of Course, But ! D!d At Some Po!nt!~

[06:27] PD: begin\\ And what did she say? //end

[06:32] CT: Does !t Matter What She Sa!d??~ She's Clearly !n V!olat!on Of My Trust And Fa!th !n Her!~ !f ! Don't Have Her, ! Have Noth!ng At All!~

[06:33] PD: begin\\ Aww, but you have me. That has to count for something, right? //end

[06:34] CT: Do ! Really??~ Because You Never Once Tr!ed To Contact Me!~ ! Had To Be The One To Tell You !'m Th!s Close To The Edge Of My San!ty!~

[06:36] PD: begin\\ We all make mistakes. Regardless, if you tell me what she said, I might be able to help you figure out a better ne><t step than self-destruction. //end

[06:37] CT: She Sa!d She Would G!ve Me Another Chance, But She Clearly L!ed Because !'m Los!ng Her!~

[06:38] CT: Hell,Maybe !'ll Just End Her L!fe And Be Done W!th Her~

[06:38] CT: !f ! Let Her Leave, She'll F!nd Someone Else, And The THought Of Someone Else Lov!ng Her L!ke ! Used To !s

[06:38] CT: UNBEARABLE~

[06:38] CT: !'d Rather She Stop Breath!ng Than Let Soeone Else Have Her~

[06:39] CT: ((*Someone))

[06:40] PD: begin\\ Okay, what makes you say she's "clearly" lying? //end

[06:41] CT: Because She Doesn't Trust Me!~ ! D!d Everyth!ng She Asked And She St!ll Won't Trust Me~

[06:41] CT: And She Th!nks ! Haven't Not!ced Her Gett!ng Chumm!er W!th Tragedy~

[06:42] CT: !'d Sl!t That Bastard's Throat !f ! Could For Try!ng To Steal Her Away From Me!!~

[06:44] PD: begin\\ Okay, that sounds like you might be jumping to conclusions. There's more than one reason that someone might get close to someone else. //end

[06:46] CT: They're Only Supposed To Be K!smeses, But ! Just Know There's Someth!ng More There!~

[06:46] CT: There Has To Be!~ Why Else WOuld She Trust H!m More Than Me??~

[06:48] PD: begin\\ Could there be pale feelings involved? Trust isn't limited solely to matesprits. //end

[06:51] CT: Ugh, There Shouldn't Be Any Feel!ngs At All!~ ! Never Even L!ked Them Be!ng Black!~ He Doesn't Deserve Her !n Any Quadrant!~

[06:56] PD: begin\\ While I can understand you feeling that way, I have to point out that you can't control the way one of your quadrants approachs having other quadrants that you aren't a part of. //end

[06:58] CT: But Why Does She Have To Have Feel!ngs For H!M Of All People?!~ Why Can't ! Be Enough For Her??~

[07:01] PD: begin\\ What makes the feelings being for him different than them being for some other person? //end

[07:02] CT: BECAUSE ! DESP!SE H!M!!!~

[07:04] PD: begin\\ Why? //end

[07:05] CT: He's The Reason !'m So Unstable!~ Do You Have Any !dea How D!sor!ent!ng, How Ex!stent!ally Cr!ppl!ng !t !s To Be Forced To Share A Body W!th Another Be!ng??~

[07:06] CT: Not To Ment!on He's St!ff, Rude, And A Total Asshole!~

[07:06] CT: He Doesn't Deserve To Have Any K!nd Of Relat!on W!th My Darl!ng!~

[07:09] PD: begin\\ I can't say I have any idea what your situation feels like, no. But your personal feelings for Tragedy don't change the fact that you can't control how your matesprit chooses to spend her energy in regards to her other quadrants. //end

[07:11] CT: Ugh, That's Bullsh!t And ! Hate !t~

[07:11] CT: ! Want Her To Be Happy, But W!th Me, Not That Jackass~

[07:14] PD: begin\\ You can hate it all you like, but you still have to adhere to it. //end

[07:17] CT: Hmph~ Whatever~

[07:21] CT: Well, ! Suppose ! Should Applaud You~ Be!ng Able To Tell My Woes To SOmeone Has Calmed My Nerves~

[07:21] PD: begin\\ That's good. If I might offer a further recommendation? //end

[07:22] CT: And What Would That Be?~

[07:23] PD: begin\\ You said you haven't talked to your matesprit about your feelings of betrayal and anger recently. Maybe try that again, especially since you've calmed a little. //end

[07:26] CT: Yes, ! Suppose ! Have To~ ! Came So Close To Break!ng My Prom!se To Her~ Surely Now That !'m Calm, She'll See Reason~

[07:27] PD: begin\\ Let me know how it goes. //end

[07:28] CT: !'ll Be Sure To Keep You !n The Loop~ !'m Loathe To Adm!t !t, But Perhaps Tragedy D!dn't Make A Complete Fool Of H!mself By Enl!st!ng Your Help~

[07:29] CT: Not That You Put Forth Any Actual Effort Unt!l Now~

[07:29] PD: begin\\ Yeah, I dropped the ball on that one. Personal reasons, don't really matter, and don't e><cuse it. //end

[07:30] CT: !'m Glad You Real!ze That You're At Fault~ !t Saves Me The Trouble Of Say!ng So Myself~

[07:30] PD: begin\\ And yet you did anyways. //end

[07:33] CT: Now Then, S!nce !'m No Longer !n The Mood For A Spree K!ll!ng, !'m Done Talk!ng To You~

[07:34] PD: begin\\ Alright. ]-[ave a good rest of your night. //end

[07:35] CT: ! W!ll~

-- capriciousThespian [CT] gave up trolling pharosDweller [PD] --

[nonbinarypastels]

My little brother recently told our mom that hes trans and shes not accepting? Her reasoning is she's not ready for such a big change if it ends up being a phase. She says she'll get used to it if that's who he is, but im sad for both him and myself. Im genderfluid and I know I can't come out to her for a v long time if ever bc she only believes in 2 genders. She'll eventually come around to my brother, but never to me, and it hurts. I love her, and don't want to burden her/my brother more.

Hey anon, I’m sorry that you and your brother are dealing with this, you both deserve better than how your mom is treating you.

Your mom’s reasoning for not accepting your brother isn’t valid. Even if what he’s going through does turn out to be a phase, that doesn’t change the fact that it’s real for him now and he deserves to be supported and accepted now – not years in the future when your mom decides that his identity is legitimate. Just the same, you also deserve to be accepted by her and supported by her and you’re in no way at all a burden on her (or your brother) for wanting that.

Having trans + nonbinary kids is a big change to get used to but a parent’s job is to love their children and care for them and a big part of that is seeing them for who they actually are, not who you want them to be. Sometimes that means having to make adjustments, having to learn new things, and be open to new ideas. Sometimes that’s hard, sometimes it’s scary, but to be a good parent one has to be willing to try regardless of that. Your mom should be willing to try, you’re not asking for too much by wanting that.

I would encourage you to not give up hope about her becoming more accepting but also remember that her attitude towards this, as much as it hurts, is not your ‘fault’ or your brother’s ‘fault’ or because there is anything wrong with you, what you are, or what you want from her. Try not to let it impact your sense of self-esteem or your acceptance of yourself. I’m also going to link you to some resources that might be helpful to you + your brother, as well as your mom if you’re able to show them to her or print them out and give them to her.

Resources for you + your brother:

How to deal with parents that are not accepting

Problem solving packet  

Interpersonal relationships

Transgender Advice: Dealing with Unsupportive Parents

Ally Moms 

A Letter to Parents Who Don’t Accept Their Gay and Transgender Children 

Rejected by your parents? You are not alone. (suicide mention tw at this link)

Resources for your mom:

Trans 101 for Parents/Guardians

Trans 101

Understanding Transgender: Why are people transgender?

Genderqueer/Nonbinary 101

I’m a transgender woman, and this is what it’s like.

What does it mean to be transgender? (by a trans man)

What does dysphoria feel like?

Transgender FAQ

Things to not say to a trans person

Think you’ve got “trans” down, but still feel confused about “non-binary”?

PFLAG’s guide to being a trans ally

^These resources were compiled by @transgenderteensurvivalguide and credit goes to them!