#reeeeeeally long. i am dying

[claire-starsword]

Shining Force Pre Release Coverage

yes i have made a post about this before but i was a baby with one magazine. Now i’m a big 90s kid who has gone through the entirety of the Beep Megadrive archives from 1991-1994, as one does. Get ready for what might be my biggest post ever, I don’t wanna break it into parts for the timeline vibe.

To contextualize the following dates: the game came out in Japan on March 1992.

October 1991

More cool sword animations for Max. Also it took me way too long to realize this background is also not anywhere in the final game, though the final Gate of the Ancients bg does take a lot from it. Apparently it was once meant to be an indoor location with torches.

Here are screenshots of the map itself. Icons were completely different, and Gort and Mae are there. Obviously this could be just the use of debug features to test the characters, but I suspect their story roles were actually changed and they were meant to be starting characters. More on that later.

there’s also a screenshot of Guardiana with a slightly different layout. There are centaur NPCs in town as opposed to only in the castle, the old man sprite is different, and the little girls are normal as opposed to dragging cats around. In the final version, this little girl sprite is only for Karin, Krin and Koron, the important little girl trio. The bed sprites are also different and kinda failing at perspective.

Besides screenshots, we also get a synopsis.

Centuries before Mephisto’s uprising in Shining in the Darkness... In the continent of Rune, far to the east of Thornwood, many countries big and small lived in endless days of peace. However, the great nation of Rune Faust, wanting to take over all of Rune, plotted to get its hands on the “Legacy of the Gods” inherited by the country of Guardiana since ancient times.

The Legacy of the Gods is said to be both a superweapon and a frightening beast. Whoever attains it can become a god or a devil... But even though the Rune Faust army has invaded Guardiana and ravaged the country for its plans of domination, it hasn’t succeed in finding the legacy...

Meanwhile, the soldiers of Guardiana, forced into a life of wandering after the fall of their country, have risen to the task of defeating Rune Faust. And as they resist against the unknown evil power controlling Rune Faust, people have come to call them “the forces of light”, Shining Force...

The grassy plains of Guardiana, mountains full of precipices, jungles, deadly deserts, rivers where piranhas live, those and other stages await our heroes.

After all, who is the one controlling the powers of darkness? And what is the truth behind the Legacy of the Gods? Hiding many mysteries, a new legend begins now!!

Very basic stuff, but while it might just the drama vibes, it does feel that Guardiana was supposed to get more wrecked, or get wrecked earlier, which would explain Mae and Gort joining earlier as well. Simone narrating the king’s last wishes right in the intro supports that idea as well.

Lastly, we get some character art and info:

(i know it’s hard to see the og text with this resize but hey, that’s why I linked the magazine collection before)

These are the forces of light, “Shining Force”!

“I’m the swordsman protagonist, Max!”

The protagonist of this story, Max. He’s human, but is an expert with the sword and can also use magic. He roams across the continent, leading the Shining Force in its way to defeat Runefaust.

One more for the “Max was meant to have magic” pile.

Archer - Hans

An elf who used to work at Guardiana’s palace. His skill with the bow is first-class.

Very nitpicky detail: Hans’ class is written with kanji here, when it’s written in katakana in the final version.

Knight - Mae

A young centaur warrior. Daughter of the late Knight Captain.

Priest - Lowe

A dwarf who’s a great friend of Max. Currently training at magic.

Shining in the Darkness already had a hobbit priest so i wonder if there’s some miscommunication here. The hobbit discourse is even older than I’d imagined.

Warrior - Gort

A hotblooded dwarf old man and Mae’s servant.

Told you there were changes on these two. There’s no indication of any connection between the two in the final version, especially since centaurs tend to be arrogant towards other races, a fact that does not come up here at all, nor does Mae’s tough personality. Even more evidence will come up later that those things were added late in development.

Knight - Ken

A centaur in knight who admires Max.

The enemies don’t get descriptions and all have their final names except the Rune Knight, who is only Centaur Knight at this point.

November 1991

This is a big one. The beta title screen is the least interesting thing about it.

We see more of Guardiana, and the centaur NPC was actually Varios all along, meaning the intro was really different.

Max and Mae get to smile! Given the story is kinda obvious why this was changed, but I always did find it weird that their artwork had different expressions to begin with.

Plenty of screenshots of a field battle with completely different graphics. More on this later.

Also a different and apparently pretty big shop.

But now for the part that really rocked my socks, a whole beta map:

Here’s the final map so you can compare the geography yourself. This map doesn’t label pretty much any town and instead brings up a bunch of new names for the natural areas.

The Gate of the Ancients, or what I suppose is it, it’s not labelled, sits atop the Mountain of Guidance, which seems to be a single mountain as opposed to the big mass that stretches up to Rindo in the final version. The gate also seems drawn like a little castle, which would explain the indoor bgs shown so far.

Alterone is to the northwest of Guardiana as opposed to the northeast. It is also right next to the Beagle Mountain Mass, which, makes A Lot More Sense with how much we hear it is a mining town. I’ve been wondering where their mines were in the final map. They must have mined too much though, because in the final version this mountain mass is largely gone.

Further to the north is Rindo Harbor, and you, english speaker, might think, “oh yes Rindo that’s the final name” but nope, in the JP version the town’s name is Rindorindo, for some reason, so that’s a difference. A difference that matters to no one.

There’s no river near Rindo, and Manarina and Shade are not labelled, though its concepts seem to be around. Manarina also seems to be surrounded by a lot more forest than in the final version, which might explain its guide book entry.

The forest near Manarina has a name that deserves its own post, Kaien, in katakana so that it is harder to discerning its meaning of course (and intentionally allow double meanings). Possible interpretations are the start of a performance (開演), the opening of a park or garden or banquet (開園 and 開宴), a superb performance (快演), or an eerie yet fascinating performance (怪演). I’d say the last one is the most fitting for Manarina, but localizing it is still a pain in the ass, the english staff dodged a bullet here. Right now most I can think of is Enthralling Forest, but you still miss some charm.

I also have to wonder if Mishaela was conceived as a boss for this place. Puppet performance and all that. She also ends up having a forest stage in Shining Soul.

All the white mass on the north is Pao Plains, no sign of the bridge or the forests of Bustoke, although there is a town in the mountains. Was this a Shining Force without Zylo? Inconceivable. But might confirm something I’ve been suspecting due to my debug mode escapades. In the battle test mode, egress usually takes you to the last church you’re supposed to access in that chapter. Yet for chapter 2 battles, it takes you to Bustoke, which is on Chapter 3. The editor also shows Bustoke as one of the first map in the data, between Rindo and Shade. It is likely that Bustoke was meant for Chapter 2.

In fact the reasoning for going to Shade Abbey is very shaky, you can see in the final map that there’s a lot more mountains between Shade and Bustoke than from Manarina. I guess the point is that guides work there, but in that ase they should work somewhere else. I’m not complaining though since Shade Abbey is one of the most iconic parts of the game.

The Pao Plains are surrounded by the Boho Mountain Range. Boho is short for bohemian, the romanticized view of nomadic/alternative lifestyles, so it’s very fitting for Pao.

Waral was a single island instead of an archipelago, and the ocean between the two sides of Rune is Cypro Ocean, a name that eventually made its way to the guide book. The region in the center of East Rune is Conga Basin, which we’ve also seen in another book, and Dragonia is to the north already. Finally, the Crescent Mountain Range is the bunch of mountains to the east of Runefaust.

Note also the big isolated structure south of Runefaust. Perhaps the Castle of the Ancients has not always been under the ocean. I also see no sign of Prompt, while all other towns are in (except Waral but Waral isn’t even in the final map, it’s tiny). This might explain why Chapter 7 is cursed on debug mode, frequently failing to load an egress point.

All this rambling was just for the map itself. There’s more written about it, I’ll just translate things directly because I’m a bit tired of taking screenshots.

This is the Rune Continent where Shining Force will take place

There’s no comparison between the world of Shining Force with that of Shining in the Darkness, it is far larger. There are mountain ranges, towns, large coasts, and even islands as well. The adventure starts at Guardiana to the south of West Rune, and the you’ll move clockwise to north, and then to the eastern part of continent, shrouded in mystery. That region to the south of East Rune, could it be Runefaust...?

East Rune and West Rune

The two continents and the Cypro Ocean between them are all referred to as the Rune continent, and are far to the east of the land where one day Thornwood, the kingdom where SitD takes place, will be built.

Guardiana, where the journey begins, is on West Rune. West Rune, compared to the eastern side, is more developed, with many countries living in peace and abundance.

In the eastern side, it is said an ancient civilization once lived there, but currently there are no countries other than Runefaust, and a wide spread of steep mountains and eerie forests.

Because of that and Runefaust itself, the people of West Rune regard the east as a dark land full of mystery.

They’ve thankfully chilled a bit on the “light side versus dark side” in the final game, possibly because they needed churches/HQs/shops to welcome the heroes gameplay-wise. I do see something drawn in the map here where Rudo should be, so perhaps other settlements in the east were already in the cards, just not very developed.

The country of Alterone

A neighboring country of Guardiana. It was originally a mining town built to extract rare and magical minerals from the Beagle Mountain Range around it, and then developed into a country. With the minerals excavated, Alterone amassed a lot of money, which was used for its own development. The common citizens began to live in luxury, and even despite other countries. Of course the royal family too has filled the castle with loads of luxury items and art, and the army is small and lacks zeal despite its extravagant equipment. The cultural level of these people with not much history, is not very great. A rising rich country. One could argue it’s a bit like today’s Japan with its excessive liquidity, or maybe not?

oh i am unequipped in so many ways to understand that jab

The country of Guardiana

A country that prides itself in having the deepest history in all of West Rune. It is said this country was built by people who inherited the duty of protecting the “Legacy of the Gods”. Because of that they’ve grow a tradition of respect for the military arts, and the royal family believes in maintaining a humble lifestyle, so the castle has no ornaments or luxurious items. However the long time of peace has weakened these traditions and the people, and they could not defend themselves from Runefaust’s ambitions, being destroyed...

Being a small country, it has little stock of weapons and such, but it is blessed with fertile land and the agricultural production is plentiful. The story of the Shining Force will somehow begin around this country.

Nothing I hadn’t seen in guide books already, but I’m somewhat surprised the worldbuilding was all already there and not refined for the guide books only. I guess it just didn’t find its place in game.

Speaking of that, here’s a long interview with the devs and I don’t have the energy to translate it all. Here’s the summary:

Unsurprisingly, the game’s biggest challenge was data size. Without compression it was around 30MB, around 15x the size of its final ROM, and definitely not fitting a Mega Drive cartridge. The interview only talks about compression but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had to cut things as well.

It’s brought up that they could have solved that problem by making a CD game instead, but they wanted to reach a wider audience.

Lots of comparisons with SitD, how the game was bigger and more complex, requiring more work and graphics and maps and everything basically. Again it is said that the story happen centuries before SitD.

When asked if there's a connection with the SitD, Masaki Wachi (writer for SF and the GBA remake) enthusiastically replies “Yes! Oops, I said it (laughs)”. He then elaborates that there were big clues about it, but that he wouldn’t comment on the connection with Mephisto and the ending of SitD.

Kenji Orimo (director and writer) does add though that if it was meant to be a direct sequel, it would just be called Darkness II. He also mentions seeing more potential in expanding the Shining World from Force than from Darkness.

Yoshitaka Tamaki (character designer, art director) mentions SitD characters having more of a fairy tale vibe, while SF characters were more grounded, with some pretty scary enemies in the late game, with more of a “war spectacle” vibe.

Lots of hyping up the battle animations.

Also hyping up the unique spin on tactical games, where characters and enemies all have their own agility instead of just alternating between an ally and an enemy phase. I don’t know anything about tactical games to comment on this.

December 1991

We get a better scan of Mae’s old portrait :)

Max on the other hand has already changed to his final one. Character description are largely the same as October with a few more tidbits on personalities such as Ken being a super honest boy. Gort is still referred to as Mae’s old servant, Lowe is still listed as dwarf, and no mention of Mae’s tough personality yet. Max’s class is also listed as warrior, but he was mentioned as swordsman on October so I assume it’s just a mistake.

We do get more characters this time though.

Tao Class: Mage Species: Forest Elf

A mage in training, but her talent is huge. Has a close relationship with Anri, the princess of Guardiana.

The forest elf thing is very curious since Hans and Diane are not listed as such. I have seen the term float around for Nigel of Landstalker, but I didn’t play that yet so no comment.

Diane Class: Archer Species: Elf

A wild girl who lives in Bustoke. Being raised in the mountains, she’s vigorous in battle. Scary.

Zylo Class: Werewolf Species: Beastman

Leader of Bustoke, the mountain nation. Focused in hand-to-hand combat, he does not equip weapons, and instead fights with his sharp claws.

Guntz Class: Steam Knight Species: Beastman

A knight of heavy power who wears an armor powered by a steam engine. Well known through the world as a mercenary specialized in castle assaults.

Well, that’s not my chill guy. Seems his personality wasn’t nailed down yet, which surprises me as his artwork very much implies the gentle guy we know now. Worth mentioning though, Guntz does join the team right as you’re going to assault the fort, and the GBA version even elaborates a bit on that invasion by requiring you pick a bomb from Crock, though Guntz isn’t involved in any of that. Perhaps this sequence was intended to be a bit more elaborate from the start.

Khris Class: Priest Species: Cantaul

A priest who used to work in Alterone. Despite being both priests, she’s stronger than Lowe in battle. Let’s see who is the best at magic.

Kokichi Class: Wing Knight Species: Human

An old gramps from a noble lineage of knights. Entranced by the dream of flying, he spent fifty years researching flying machines.

We then get a bunch of monster art i won’t even try to fit in a screenshot, and more description than they ever got in guide books as far as I’ve seen.

Dwarves

Skilled at close combat due to their strong body, but has low defense. Their lethal axes are menacing.

Dark Priests

Runefaust priests, wearing white masks as per the army’s regulations. Working on an attack with focused magic.

rip dark priests you did not learn blast in time if that’s what they’re implying here

Also, they’re called Dark Priests here, Priests in the final game, and Dark Priests in the english localization. I don’t know why I bother paying attention to that.

Snipers

With superior footwork, they attack from a long range with bows. The double team kind, working as pairs with the Rune Knights.

Puppets

Evil marionettes, it’s unknown if they have consciousness. Part of the Monster Corps, they attack swinging swords.

Except they don’t in the final game. They don’t even have swords in the art either, so I’m unsure if that’s a change or an idea that never made it in.

Hell Pierrot

It seems they are not really pierrot, just disguise as such. Those who are fooled and approach them carelessly end up hurt.

That’s the final JP name for the Dire Clown as well.

Gargoyles

They are statues, but had temporary life breathed into them by magic. Seems not all of them turned into flesh, some parts remain stone.

Cerberos

Guard dogs of hell into a deep sleep in the caves under Alterone. Trained by the Runefaust army.

Worms

Giant mutant earthworms dozens of meters long. Don’t have any senses other than touch.

Dullahans

Headless ghost knights who used to be Rune Knights. No comparison between their power though.

And now a special boy that does get to be screenshotted:

Mimics

Transform immediately as you open them thinking it’s a chest. Their lids grow sharp fangs, and they sprout legs to move.

It’s worth noting that while these guys didn’t make it to any classic game, SF2 does have a mechanic of monsters spawning from chests, we just don’t get to see because the search in battle option was removed in the english version.

To finish the parade of weird creatures, Yogurt is here.

What is this Yogurt creature, after all?

Yogurt, a mysterious characters that shows up around Guardiana and toys with the enemies. No clue if he’s an enemy or an ally, but he certainly has a likeable vibe, you could even call him cute. He’s not docile enough to be raised as a pet, and seems prone to quick mood swings. Does a lot of weird things as he pops up in the adventure. You could say he’s kind of a versatile performer.

Yogurt’s Data

He’s 80 cm tall, weights 10 kg, walks on two feet, while the front paws have atrophied and become small. His main food seems to be berries, but he’s omnivorous. From what’s been observed, he can swim, is fast and has strong jumps. It’s unknown when he started wearing the helmet on his head. No one has seen him take it off either.

Insides:

Tail - Uses it to balance while walking in two feet.

Feet - Way better for jumping than for walking.

Head - On par with humans. Seems to be very intelligent.

Hands - Cannot use tools

Belly - Quite fat but he’s still agile.

There are also doodles of his secret appearances which I’m not gonna translate now. They’re very much just describing his antics.

January 1992

Pink haired Simone appears. Sadly there’s no dialogue screenshots.

Guardiana is already pretty much the final version, only the entrance still seems unfinished, some NPCs are different.

Remember that field battle with different graphics? There’s more of it here, including the map.

It’s horrifyingly large.

Finally, there’s some talk of critical hits being capable of special effects like one-hit KO, but it’s very vague so it might be the magazine staff not knowing this was attached to a specific weapon.

February 1992

Pink Simone is still around, and so are unfinished weapon animations and the old knight battle sprites. Max still shows up with zero MP. Guardiana and the starting maps seems mostly finished with a couple odd spots.

Guardiana castle is full of chickens, and has a gate.

The king’s room has a couple more flags in it.

The Gate of the Ancients now looks like the final version, though battle screenshots still show the indoor background. The starting team is also the final one, with Mae and Gort no longer there.

The Alterone battle shows enemies inside the shops.

The article ends with a recipe for yogurt.

March 1992

The game is released, and I too am released from this long ass post. From here on, every article, ad and official material I’ve seen uses only screenshots from the final version of the game. If that sounds obvious to you, wait for the SF2 post.

Update: ??? 1992 

Joke’s on me, I was not free from the post. I found some old footage, sadly i don’t know which date it is from, but it shouldn’t be too early in production. Simone already has brown hair, the Gate of the Ancients is already outdoors. 

There are still things to note though. Simone still talks of the king of Guardiana in her intro as opposed to the final one. The intro to Chapter 1 is a placeholder text.

Anri’s dad does not have a unique portrait and uses the default king one. Also, the castle still do not have centaur knights, even though their sprite already exists. In the place are not chickens though, and instead some weird placeholders you can see at the top right corner here.

Unlike every other battle scene in this post, the final sword sprites are in, but their animation for Max is still unfinished. Also, having footage we can hear some audio, and while Simone’s theme and the field map theme are in, the town and battle scenes use placeholders from SitD

More importantly,

cat.

Their sprite isn’t exactly the same as the unused ones in the ROM though, as those have the tail up like a properly happy cat. This means these sprites still got further polish before being ultimately scrapped anyway :(

[johannesviii]

So I guess I’m hyperfixating on Death Stranding at the moment

And since I’ve finally finished the story after playing it for like 100 hours over the course of seven months or so I guess I have Opinions(tm) about things I didn’t like in the game

They’re eating at my brain so I’m gonna put them all in a single post to get them out of my system once and for all so I can enjoy the rest in peace

Spoilers, obviously

Hi welcome back to ‘Johannes is obsessing over yet another video game with horror elements in it’! I guess!!

Our latest entry in that category was Until Dawn but since UD can be played in like 6/7 hours and I spent 100 hours of my life on DS, as you can guess we’re talking about a full-blown hyperfixation, the kind that physically hurts because I can’t focus on anything else even after having finished the storyline

But it was super gradual. Again, seven months. I barely made any progress from December to May because I was only doing side-deliveries at the beginning of Chapter 3 instead of... you know... advancing the plot. It became an honest-to-god special interest about two months ago, then 6 days ago while playing chapter 10 it reached hyperfixation levels and now I am in PAIN

I hate my brain

Anyhow

At first I wanted to list the good and the bad hings in it but there’s too many good things to list them all in full, excruciatingly long details, so

Very Quick And Very Incomplete List Of Good Things That I Love

It’s a post-apo game based on travel, logistics, and good will, and it straight up goes AGAINST the whole ‘survival of the fittest’ trope that SO MANY post-apo things try to push!! YES

I insist but it’s built on helping each other and keeping everyone alive, seriously that is my shit right there!

The online community is wholesome?? People leave stuff everywhere, you never see anyone but people put little helpful signs and send you likes, and in my game we almost managed to repair all the roads together

There’s so many new & strange allergies and disabilities and phobias in this post-apo world and? nobody is trying to ““fix”“ anyone?? Like Heartman with his padded floor and his little box that brings him back to life constantly. He’s just... living like that. Nobody’s going “hey maybe you should get another heart operation buddy”

The hero and his phobia of being touched. I. Loved. That. The quiet scenes when he was just talking with Fragile, sitting next to her. In any other context this would just be two people sitting next to each other and talking but it always feels so soft and intimate everytime he allows another human being to just. be next to him. I love it. I love them

Everyone crying constantly because of chiral allergy!!

I loved all the important characters bar one (Bridget/Amelie)!

Why is this walking simulator so enjoyable why am I enjoying the fact that holding L2 + R2 while walking feels like holding your backpack and that you have to relax at times just like you’d have to if you were actually holding a backpack

Seriously. Why

The atmosphere was so great, the music was fantastic and the visuals were on point. A E S T H E T I C

The ghosts!! The giant Beached Things!!! Chiral crystals look! like! creepy hands reaching for the SKY!!

THE RAIN DESTROYS THINGS AND KILLS PEOPLE BY ACCELERATING TIME THIS IS SO COOL SHUT UP

Everytime the game got surreal it was electrifying

THE SURREAL WAR SCENES ON CLIFF’S BEACH

Everyone is using emojis

There’s guys addicted to delivering packages in that game and they’re trying to steal our stuff and we’re like “haha they’re dumb” but we’re basically addicted to delivering packages as the player. So yeah that was pretty fun

Terrorists thinking humanity isn’t going extinct fast enough and wanting to just rip the bandaid and speed things up. Simple but effective concept

People ask for SUPER VITAL ITEMS right next to completely trivial stuff and I’m LIVING for it. “Please fetch my toy dinosaur”. I feel you dude

The most isolated characters are like "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS THING I LIKE" in your emails because they haven't had contact with other humans in years, it's super relatable

There’s a farm where people use the fact that Timefall rain accelerates time to grow food super quickly in one (1) Timefall and harvest everything just before it starts to die and I LOVE that detail of worldbuilding so much

YOU’RE FIGHTING BEACHED THINGS WITH YOUR OWN BODILY FLUIDS IT’S SO STUPID BUT ALSO SO COOL?? I love yeet-ing my own blood at eldritch entities

THE T W I S T S

All the fanservice (bar one detail that I’m gonna complain about later) is on dudes. This game reeeeeeally likes to show dudes naked or somewhat naked. Mostly the main character but this mocap also L O V E S Mads Mikkelsen and there’s a shit ton of homoerotic shots in there

I love Sam the antisocial papa wolf delivery man and if someone touches him or his baby again, I will cry

LOU. LOU LOU LOU PRECIOUS BABY I’D DIE FOR YOU. Wait I did

I love Fragile and how brave she is and how she keeps helping people even if most of them wrongly think she’s a terrorist and yes I will eat this cryptobiote thank you

I love soft science boi Heartman who keeps dying again and again and is a bit too much interested in bodily fluids

I love garbage man Higgs and how complex, funny and still somewhat tragic this memelord actually turned out to be in the end

Seriously I want to stop fixating on this character but you can’t give me YET ANOTHER character who wants to die but at the hands of someone else, that is unfair to do that right after my fixation on the new Doctor Who Master

So yeah Higgs is yet another character who makes me want to grab him by the lapels and shake him and yell WHY! ARE! YOU! LIKE! THIS! STOP! BEING! LIKE! THIS!!

Cliff broke all three of my feelings beautifully and in excruciatingly well-acted scenes that transcended the sometimes lackluster dialogue

John made me cry during That Scene

Mama your background was tragic and terrifying and you didn’t deserve any of this shit and I love you

Deadman was more funny than anything, really, but I still liked him even if he had no sense of personal space whatsoever and it clashed horribly with Sam’s phobias

The ending had some sad parts but was mostly positive, thank goodness

Now I’m gonna explain things I dislike and this looks long but it’s actually only 5 main things so I bolded them to avoid confusion

Things I really disliked (and could have been handled wayyyy better)

We all know it but Kojima isn’t a master of subtlety and some parts of the dialogue kept repeating the same informations again and again AND AGAIN and I was like “ok ok I get it”

The dialogue can be so bad at times seriously

Kojima is a bad writer there I said it

It was particularly annoying with Amelie/Bridget and the fact she’s a horrible person trying (and failing) to justify her actions wasn’t helping

Bridges protocols are incredibly intrusive. All of them. I know it’s framed as bad and Sam hates being spied on all the time and in the end he destroys the device that does that, but I wish someone else would openly criticise it in-game

I guess Deadman sort of did but still

Also I know the whole BB technology was Bridget’s idea, and since she’s the actual villain it’s framed as a twisted, evil thing during the ending, but I wish that had been framed like that much earlier ; a lot of Bridges employees just... seem to accept the idea that their employer is using premature babies and their dead mothers as useful, if disturbing, devices. They seem to justify it by “uh we stole that technology from terrorists” to try to cope with the idea but... yeah.

I mean, one of the points being made very early on is that Sam sees his BB as his child who must be protected at all costs instead of a detection device, but I really wish he wasn’t the only one to object to that thing

Again, the game DOES frame "using babies and their dead mothers as tools” as evil and twisted, I just wish it was given a lot more weight and way sooner

Now let’s talk about the Token Straight(tm) in this game

In any other kind of context it would be a joke! But Death Stranding literally has a Token Straight Guy!

I mean, there IS a few hetero couples among the Preppers. Not a lot, mind you. Like, there’s the Montaineer and his wife for instance. But they’re just there and it’s not what their side plot is about

No I’m talking about this piece of shit right there

This f█cking Junk Dealer guy complains the girl he loves is dead because of Bridges and emotionally blackmails us by sending us old holograms of her before her supposed death (somewhat disturbing holograms too because she looks... pretty young in them), then he sends us on what’s essentially a suicide mission in a BT infested zone, THEN when we give him proof she’s still alive and living in another bunker nearby, he won’t go there himself to check??

But SHE’s like “ok, bring me to him, then!”

He doesn’t deserve you, girl

I’ve already seen several people pointing out that carrying a woman as cargo on your back is... debatable at best and sexist at worst, but that part didn’t really bother me to be honest? She asked to be carried to him and it’s her choice. She was talking to us the entire way too, so that made things a lot less awkward. Also Sam has this phobia of being touched by other people so I bet carrying another human being on his back isn’t fun for him. It was also super stressful to do, to be honest.

And then there’s this EXTREMELY AWKWARD scene when they’re reunited and decide to get married, and thankfully Sam finds it just as awkward as we do because he’s standing super far away from the bunker in a “can’t they talk about this later - I’m right there” way. And I’m under the impression it was intended as cringy, in a “yeppp young people in love are Like That” sort of way, so I can accept that, to be honest. If you don’t take that scene seriously, it’s pretty fun in, again, a cringy sort of way

BUT

Then you receive more emails later and this piece of shit guy complains about her and he’s like “ugh WOMEN” or “marriage is the worst” and they end up divorced in record time and she goes back to her bunker

Which isn’t my problem with this subplot either, I promise I’m gonna explain myself eventually but this context is important. It’s okay to have characters who are pieces of shit like this guy who reeks of incel cologne. It’s alright. Not every character has to be a role-model. It’s good to have characters you can hate.

BUT THEN they get back together later to try to patch things up and you learn he was part of a gang who murdered her parents even though he protected her against the rest of the gang and that’s what I hated about that storyline. I guess if you squint it can be read as “this woman is making REALLY BAD life choices” but I read it as “he saved her so she owes him something, he can’t be entirely bad” and y i k e s this left such a bad taste in my mouth, good lord.

But yeah miss Chiral Artist you’re making really bad life choices please get away from this dude as soon as you can, thank you

Also don’t do this ‘sending Likes’ pose ever again, it was hilarious but also you made me use the word “cringy” several times in this paragraph even though I absolutely hate cringe culture, look what you made me do

Now I have to talk about a scene that was intentionally disturbing as hell but ONE (1) detail in it was disturbing for the wrong reasons

To be honest, I really don’t like the Metal Gear Solid games and one of the reasons is the rampant sexism in them so I... was kind of bracing myself for Death Stranding and expecting it to have at least SOME really bad fanservice with a woman at one point or another but to my surprise?? There was none? All the fanservice is on dudes??? Hello? I really liked that (well at some point Fragile takes a shower in our room but we see literally nothing except her shoulder and then Sam looks away)?? What a refreshing change

THAT BEING SAID

And if you played the game you know exactly what I’m about to talk about

Yep this is the part where Johannes complains about how the bomb flashback was shot

Ok so I guess I should also give some context in case someone is reading this but hasn’t played the game, but the deal with this scene is that our friend Fragile was betrayed by her colleague Higgs who used to be a porter but became a terrorist after meeting the “main“ villain of the game. First he secretly put a thermonuclear bomb in one of her deliveries so she’d nuke an entire city without even knowing it, and everyone after that thought she was a terrorist. And then he tried to do that shit A SECOND TIME, but she noticed and decided to toss the second nuke into a bottomless lake of tar. But he caught her just before she reached the lake and he decided to give her a sadistic choice, which was “teleport away and the bomb stays there and nukes the city, or carry it to the lake but only in your underwear under this rain that speeds up time and it will do enormous damage to your health and your body”

And of course being the hero she is, she decides to take the second option

And it’s an incredibly disturbing scene and it’s genuinely hard to watch

But it’s also the ONLY time a woman is in her underwear in this entire game and there’s A COUPLE of shots that were male-gaze-y at the beginning before she started to run and the really horrific part started.

So in a way I guess it could have been worse? way worse, even

But it still tarnishes an otherwise disturbing (and harrowing at times ; seriously I know I’m oversensitive but it was physically painful to watch) scene with unnecessary shots

We know Fragile had a young body before this happened, this isn’t the point of this scene, guys

Whoever decided to keep these shots (probably Kojima let’s face it), that is bad and you should feel bad

Idk how to do a visual transition for that next one because I do not want to screen that memo

So here’s a screenshot with a nice landscape instead

tw: acephobia

Now I have to talk about something I like the GENERAL IDEA of, but not how the IN-GAME MATERIAL ABOUT IT was written

Because I have to talk about that “asexual world” memo

First I have to say that I absolutely love the fact that a mainstream game openly says in-game “this future is full of asexual people" and?? it’s just that, it’s a part of this world. That’s just how things are. It’s normalised. I love it. For crying out loud this memo has the word demisexual in it. I can’t think of any other mainstream game that had this word in it so far.

It should have stopped there and let me enjoy that in peace but it didn’t

THE MEMO ITSELF WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE CONCEPTS and there’s some really bad stuff there. I’d say it’s accidental acephobia but it’s still there. I’m not the best person to talk about this because I’m bi, but it still rubbed me the wrong way

The words this memo uses near the beginning are “"sexless lifestyle” among young people” and yikes, my dude. “Lifestyle”, uh? Really?

And then it goes on about how these new labels were already more and more common “among young people before the Death Stranding” and it also rubs me the wrong way, in a “wow young people and their weird labels lol” sort of queerphobic way?

However I’ve seen a post pointing out that the line “One theory posits that the Stranding accelerated the proliferation of these sexualities” was maybe a way of saying ‘yo asexuals are causing the end of the world’ but... I don’t see it, tbh? In the context of the game, society is extremely divided and a lot of people live in complete isolation and social norms have heavily shifted and it’s kind of normal that there’s queer people visible everywhere now, aces included obviously, because nobody’s bothering to hide it anymore. It’s a post-apocalyptic world! People are just being themselves! A lot of characters also seem to be bi/pan! They’re just vibing ok

At least that’s how I read that part, I can understand if someone had a problem with that bit but I didn’t

BUT! THAT’S NOT ALL because the memo concludes (I’m paraphrasing) “the birth rate has dropped, which might be a problem, but harassment and assault have also dropped, which is good, so idk it’s 50/50″ and. like. I get the intention. But it’s clumsy as hell and very bad. Please don’t confuse abuse of power and attraction. They don’t go hand in hand. Don’t do that. Please. And you know that aces can have kids if they want to, right. Come on. It’s 2020 my dude. This shit is harmful

Also. Like. It’s the end of the world in this game. People don’t want kids. It... has nothing to do with aces. Reality itself is crashing down. People are reluctant to have kids because reality.exe might f█cking crash down at any given moment!

Or a Beached Thing could VoidOut their city!

Or someone might send them a nuke, not naming names!!

Anyway!!!

It’s really badly written and whoever wrote it should educate themselves and maybe get an ace to re-read their stuff next time??

Again I’m not the right person to talk about acephobia and I bet an actual ace would have plenty more to say about this

Thankfully it’s a memo written in-game by a random Bridges councellor and NOT by any important character that we actually know

"I must preempt myself by admitting that I do not have any empirical data" yeah so, f█ck off maybe

So I’m just gonna call that guy “another piece of shit character” but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that the memo was written by someone who thought it was a good idea to put it in the game

Just let me enjoy my super queer post-apo world in peace and don’t write shit like that in your game thank you and goodbye

Minor stuff I also disliked but it wasn’t as awful

I get that Sam is upset at the end because Lou is dying but the way he said goodbye to Fragile broke my heart. It was abrupt and you KNOW he’s upset and wants to have nothing to do with Bridges anymore and that’s very understandable but it isn’t her fault

Seriously I want them to be friends again

I’m gonna pretend they’re friends again after Lou is saved and that Sam is a freelance porter again and sometimes their paths cross and they just talk together in the middle of nowhere and share cryptobiotes

The pacing is weird, there’s this deluge of plot in the beginning and the end but not much in the middle?

The BT boss fights could have been these epic Shadow of the Colossus showdowns but no, they were relatively standard boss fights. Wasted opportunity

The running on the Beach scene sdfghjhgfdsdfghjhgf that was... dumb

A lot of preppers are interesting in one way or another but some are just boring. Also I wish the design of their bunkers was more varied

Amelie/Bridget’s motivations are all over the place, both creating Bridges AND the Demens is... a lot? I know she both WANTS and DOESN’T want the actual, final end of the world to happen but that is a lot to take in and it’s all very confusing

Who the hell cares about ‘rebuilding America’ I just want to build a network where people can help each other

The ‘likes’ are fun but don’t make much sense

In conclusion

Death Stranding Good

Some stuff Bad

Some stuff Very Bad (but it’s just one memo out of 100+ memos, thank god)

I’m still hyperfixating

Send help

[blackcatanna]

Playing Kazama's Route Because I Guess I Hate Myself Part 1: Kyoto Winds

So, I'm going to play through everybody's routes on Hakuoki and vent my feelings and frustrations on here! I've already done Saito and Iba but I will play them again soon, too. Next up is Kazama, mostly because I'm curious to find out if this fucker has any redeeming qualities. Maybe if you're into nonces. Idk.

Wow, I had forgotten how gloriously campy this intro is :') I love it so much!

Playing through the prologue because it sets the tone of blood, death and assholes. This game is much more violent, tragic and much less horny than I had predicted and I guess I'm into that.

Aw, Chizuru bae is so lonesome and vulnerable <3

Kodo flashback! HIIISSSSSSSSSS!!! >:(

Just taking a moment to appreciate how beautiful and romantic the nighttime environment and music is <3 At least, until people start getting slashed up X_X

OKAY GAME, WE GET IT: CHIZURU IS HORNY FOR HIJIKATA. GOD.

Okita is enjoying this waaay too much X_X

Chapter 1

WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE

Thank you for untying me, InouBAE!

THEY'VE BEEN DISCUSSING THE SITUATION SINCE MORNING BUT NOBODY THOUGHT TO SUGGEST MAYBE NOT REVEALING MORE SENSITIVE INFORMATION WHILE I'M IN THE ROOM?! I'm surrounded by idiots -_-

Apparently, "They are all truly gentlemen." Uh-huh.

Hooray for Chizuru calling out Okita for being a douche. And Hijikata for calling everyone a bunch of kids! Where is the lie? :')

Um, why has the camera zoomed in on Nagakura's crotch? Chizuru, please control your thirst. This is a life or death situation.

Now Saito's telling Okita to stop being a prick and Okita's response is, "hehe." X_X

Casual suicide jokes... Reminds me of my friends at uni X_X

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE 8O I can't see how this could possibly backfire...

OMG Kondou describing not recognising a girl as "The shame of a lifetime!" XD

"Maybe it's time you spilled your guts, kid." Is he... Is he telling me to commit seppuku?! O_O "I looked at him and nodded." GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD.

Although, with Harada threatening to strip me, suicide doesn't look like such a bad option X_X Tell me, Inoue, WHERE ARE THESE GENTLEMEN YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT?!

Feminist Hijikata wants to kill me regardless of gender :') We stan a woke queen.

Feminist icon Sanan also thinks that gender is irrelevant but doesn't want to kill me because THEIR JOB IS LITERALLY TO PROTECT PEOPLE.

You search so hard for Kodo and he turns out to be such a treacherous snake :'(

Bad feminist Hijikata calls the Shinsengumi "sons of bitches" for feeding me to him as his page. The Shinsengumi are strong, independent bitches in their own right.

Escaping execution but being quietly upset about having to wear ugly boy clothes for the foreseeable future is a mood.

More of Hijikata threatening to cut off Okita's tongue, please!

What does Chizuru have against afternoon drinking :P Clearly she has never enjoyed a long glass of Pimm's on a warm Summer afternoon! I guess she is pretty young...

Hijikata isn't here so can I please sneak out with you guys instead of staring at the wall all day?

Reeeeeeally want to pick the yes to dressing like a girl option but apparently that's not what Daddy Nonce wants :( HE'S NOT EVEN SHOWN UP YET AND HE'S ALREADY RUINING MY FUN! >:(

Well, now we're literally running away from Nagakura and Inoue. I'm getting High School flashbacks.

Wait, why is Heisuke being weird about Saito being in my room? Did this happen last time too? Maybe I just forgot or maybe it's because I was hanging out with Heisuke and Harada before...

This dinner is terrifying.

Survival of the fittest? More like survival of the FATTEST! Amirite? Anyone? No? I'll stop.

Takeda admittedly has a point about you not earning your place in the Shinsengumi. And he has great hair. So I can almost forgive him for being a mega bitch.

"His swordsmanship is decent, BUT he is well read and possesses a cunning mind for military science." Not sure if a translation error or Hijikata just hates nerds?!

Does accompanying Hijikata as his page get me bonus Kazama Sexy Points purely because it pisses Hijikata off?

Chizuru once again being in mortal peril but getting distracted by Iba's beautiful face is relatable af.

"Takeda huffed smugly to himself and WADDLED out of the store." What a majestic image we have been blessed with :') The bitchiest penguin ever to waddle this Earth!

Iba happily munching his bean jelly is a MOOD.

Chapter 2

Okita telling you that you're here to keep him company on his rounds is exactly the kind of bullshit that I'd expect from him X_X

Guess I'm just running into a battle...

Oh, it's Kazama. Sitting on the windowsill like the edgy bastard he is.

Aaaand he just killed a guy on his own side. Classic edgelord move.

And apparently I have to thank him for this display if I want him to be my waifu.

Seemingly, Chizuru is thirsty for this slut and is being REALLY FRICKING OBVIOUS ABOUT IT X_X

OH HE DID NOT JUST CALL ME THE SHINSENGUMI'S BITCH. Although, it is somewhat accurate XD STILL A DICK MOVE AFTER I THANKED HIM SO NICELY, THOUGH.

AND HE SAYS THAT I HAVE MANNERS, BUT WHERE ARE YOUR FREAKING MANNERS, YOU EDGY THOT?!!!

I have a feeling that a lot of this will be typed in caps from now on -_-

Oooh he winked! I cannot handle this intense eroticism!

Surprise Saito! My favourite flavour of surprise (see, "Shinsengumi's bitch")!

The Shinsengumi are grateful for my efforts and, thus, have gifted me with the great gift of sweeping <3

Hijikata and Iba are so cute <3

Kazama's being edgy again X_X and murdering people. Classic Kazama.

Oh wow, he's actually calling us peasants.

Aw, we're talented peasants <3 How generous of him!

HOW DARE HE TRASH TALK OKITA LIKE THAT! Wow, I'm actually defending that asshole X_X

Hijikata baring his teeth like an angry doggo XD

I'm super mad at Kazama for killing that poor Shinsengumi guy :'( Such a thoughtless waste of life :'(

Now he's mocking Nagakura's obedience to the Shogun. What are your lofty ideals, Kazama? Ah yes, you want to subjugate and enslave the human race. How... noble...

Okay, so, apparently, Kazama is being a huge, murderous pain in the ass because he's just OH SO CONCERNED for the pride of his human allies. I don't buy it.

Ah, Hijikata called Kazama a petulant child :') Truer words were never spoken!

Okay, now Hijikata is saying that they don't deserve an honourable death?! Wow, Hijikata. That comment is not going to age well, I can tell you.

So maybe I agree with Kazama here!? He still shouldn't have murdered that guy, though.

I seriously don't understand why Hijikata is so keen to slaughter these guys and potentially lose more of his men just to force them to suffer a shameful death?! Maybe he doesn't see dying that way as dishonourable but I have no patience for people forcing their ideals onto others.

Aaah! Kazama throwing Hijikata's insult back in his face is pretty brilliant!

Kazama just sliced me in the face! Sexy?!

Sexy Points with Kazama because he's confirmed your full BROOD MARE potential.

Kazama likes calling people bitches so we have that in common.

So, now Hijikata respects them for committing seppuku?! I am CONFUSED.

Oh, now I'm getting Itou's origin story?! This is unexpected!

Wait, have I broken the game and accidentally romanced Kondou?! What is happening right now?! X_X

Oooh! I'm getting sword training! Yes please! This is better than sex :D

Feminist icon Kondou isn't going easy on me just because I'm a girl :D

Chapter 3

Aka: Sanan's breakdown!

"Those were his last words." O_O I... hope that that's not true...

Okay, now he's throttling me! I take it back! Somebody fillet this crazy fucker!

OMG WAS THAT CRUNCHING SOUND MY NECK?!

But why is he choking me when he could be sipping on my delicious blood? O_o

The awkward moment when your creepy brother is a hotter woman than you X_X

Apparently, Kazama's gazing at me with bloodlust. How romantic.

Haha! Apparently Kazama's hand is "pale and grasping like the tentacle of some hideous subterranean monster." X_X Hot.

Yay! Rescued from tentai boi by HajiBAE and SanoCUTEY! And Harada is calling out Kazama for being a creep :') This is a good day.

Kazama's response burn is weak. The culture and the nose of a dog? What does that even mean? Even if Harada's nose looked like a dog's, that'd still be pretty weak, imo.

Ha! Saito's response is basically just an Uno reverse card but I'm always here for calling Kazama out on his hypocrisy.

Omg, now Yamazaki is kidnapping me and Shiranui's calling him out! None of these hos have any chill!

Amagiri is taking a break from fighting to read Shiranui for being a hotheaded pain in the arse.

Hijikata is rightfully calling me an idiot for drawing my sword on Kazama :')

Kazama's insults are so blunt and childish but it's so funny! He just called Hijikata a weak shit! Apparently, fighting him is an honour and Hijikata isn't giving this diva the attention he believes he deserves.

Hijikata needs to stop calling me Kid X_X

"Sleazebag" = accurate.

Ooh, Sanan is paying me a late night visit! How risqué!

Of course I want to learn more about the water of life but The Grand High Nonce would apparently disapprove so I guess I'll have to wait until another route to find out :'(

Apparently Kazama's not going to abduct me TODAY. How reassuring.

I relate to Kazama admiring the beauty of the temple but he lost me by being a hypocrite again. Apparently, he doesn't understand how humans can destroy their creations with their wars. KAZAMA IS FIGHTING WITH THE PEOPLE WHO WANTED TO BURN KYOTO AND THEY PARTIALLY SUCCEEDED. Kazama can only destroy things, as far as I can tell.

Now he's ranting about how they lie, deceive and kill. Pot kettle black? "If they want something, they'll steal it." UGH, KAZAMA, YOU HAVE REPEATEDLY TRIED TO STEAL ME YOU HYPOCRITICAL FUCKWIT. HE'S SO FRUSTRATING. SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE COMBINATION OF PRETENTION, HYPOCRISY, CRUELTY, HUBRIS, I could go on XD I should stop... For now...

AAAAAH HE JUST SAID NOT TO TRUST THE SHINSENGUMI BECAUSE THEY KILL THEIR OWN MEN WITHOUT BATTING AN EYELASH. THAT'S WHAT KAZAMA DOES WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HIM! BUT I GUESS IT DOESN'T COUNT TO HIM BECAUSE THE MAN WASN'T PART OF HIS SUPERIOR RACE!

Sen = <3

Chapter 4 (This is where I went to sleep)

I feel like we could have got away with killing the guy who was SENTENCED TO DEATH if fricking Sanan hadn't shown up and revealed his alive-ness!

Aw, Itou is concerned about my arm!

Aaaaand he's ruined it by being a cunt XD "Would you like to know?" "Yes." "I won't tell you." X_X

Heisuke, Saito... HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME... WHEN I NEEDED TO... POSSES YOU... I HATED YOU; I LOVED YOU TOO... BAD DREAMS IN THE NIGHT.... *Continues singing Wuthering Heights and dances around the room dramatically*

"And then they were gone" :'(

Tbf, I'd be pretty mad if my comrades had been doing such dangerous, fucked up experiments behind my back.

"I am more concerned about the soldiers being left behind." - lies!

Wait, Sanan knew Itou "really well"?! Their only interaction until now was Itou being a mega-douche to him. I have so many questions!

Aw, Sanan trusts that our friendlings will return <3

Ooh! Going on a manju adventure with YAM!

Kazama strolling down the street and everybody being pushed out of the way by the douchebag waves rolling off of him.

Okay, so Kazama has come here alone to get pissed amongst humans?! That seems implausible...

"I might even allow you to pour me a drink." BLEUGH BLETCH BLUUURGH.

I CANNOT WITH THIS THOT AND HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT. HOW DARE HE BRAG ABOUT HOW COOL AND DOWN WITH THE KIDS HE IS TO BE DRINKING WITH HUMANS AND THEN SLAG ME OFF FOR ASSOCIATING WITH HUMANS?!

If I'm supposedly so curious about the demon lifestyle, can I PLEASE just run away with Sen? :'(

WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHAT I WANT?!? X_X I WANT TO GO WITH THE COOL DEMON LADIES!!!

"Yukimura. What do you have to say about this?" FINALLY!!! THANK YOU, KONDOU!

I really want to go but the game won't let me XD

Souji is correct. I clearly have rocks for brains XD

"Gosh" Appropriate reaction.

AAAAAAAAND MY BELOVED SHINSENGUMI IS IMMEDIATELY ENDANGERED BY MY POOR DECISIONS.

Ooh! Physical contact with Kazama! Sure, he's violently grabbing me but this thirsty bitch will take what she can get XD

Harada has the best put downs :') "Barging in here to get yourself a wife! You think you'd get the point by now after all these rejections..."

"You fools have no idea of her worth." BITCH I AM A well, not human but SENTIENT BEING! THEY TREAT ME WITH MORE RESPECT THAN YOU EVER DID YOU MASSIVE CREEP. I AM MORE THAN JUST A WOMB, YOU HO!!!

"She is most valuable when used by a fitting partner." THA FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!???! NOPENOPENOPE. A FITTING PARTNER WOULD NOT "USE" ME, BITCH.

"HA! So you decide to take her against her will just because you're too scared of the rejection you'll get from flat-out asking her out, huh?" YES HARADA!!! YOU CALL OUT THIS FUCKING NONCE!!! ALL RAPISTS ARE COWARDS!!! "You're so lame and creepy." WHERE IS THE LIE?!??

Meanwhile, Hijikata just makes it clear that he'd happily slice through me. Good to know.

I shall WIGGLE my way out of this situation! What do you mean it didn't work?!

YAAAS KONDOU! YOU FIGHT THAT BITCH!!!

OMG I JUST FELL ON TOP OF OKITA AND NOW HE'S SLUT SHAMING ME! XD

"Tell me... How is it? On top of me. Does it feel good?" O_O O_O O_O This game just got a lot more spicy!

Just fuck already! If only to piss off Kazama X_X

Aw, poor sick Okita <3

How dare they mention that the new HQ has a huge bath for warriors to bathe together and not have another thirst scene :P

Now Harada and Nagakura are slut shaming each other for having their tiddies out in Winter :')

Does this count as sexposition? Politics + tiddies?

"Itou dies." This is what happens when you base a game around true events! Problems aren't solved with the power of love and friendship! X_X

YES SAITO, PLEASE PROTECT ME FROM THIS MURDEROUS NONCE!

Chapter 5

At least in the normal route where nobody loves me, I don't get shot at by cannons O_O

There are a lot of typos in this chapter already. Perhaps the developers didn't expect anyone to be INSANE enough to romance Kazama.

DON'T TELL THIS RANDOM GUY YOUR PLANS YOU FOOL!!! IF THIS GETS INOUE KILLED, IMMA BE SO MAD!!!

NO INOUE!!! DON'T DRINK THE CRAZY JUICE!!!

NOOOOOO!!!! INOOOUUUUEEEE!!! :'(

Yes Queen, you call out those murdering cowards :'(

FFS I just got hella shot X_X

NO YOU GUYS ARE THE MONSTERS!!!

Apparently, I'm a "Noble Demon specimen" BITCH WHERE?!

"Why was Kazama helping me?" UM, HAVEN'T WE BEEN THROUGH THIS?! BECAUSE HE WANTS TO "USE" YOUR FERTILE WOMB TO BREED A NEW LINE OF DEMON CHILDREN.

"Shoot me? To death?" XD

"Kazama glared coldly at the pile of dismembered corpses on the floor" :') So romantic!

OMG IT'S THE BETTER DRESSED VERSION OF ME!!!

"Actually a man." UM, A CHILD, SEEMINGLY.

The whole creepy demonic family together at last :')

STOP CALLING ME ADORABLE AND LITTLE YOU CREEPY DEMON CHILD.

"What you're doing is disgraceful." YOU TELL HIM KAZAMA.

"Mind if I kill your family, right here and now?" O_O Kazama has zero chill! Thanks for asking, though, I guess. Go for it, Kazama XD

Oh, apparently I'm going to "talk to them" X_X

"Kodo, I could murder you over a thousand times, and it still wouldn't be enough for me." This is the most I've ever liked Kazama.

Doesn't Kazama work directly with Kodo in various routes?

Why can't I vanish like smoke? :'( Where are MY cool demon powers? :'(

"Turns out the only one capable of keeping you safe when you needed them most was me -- not them." HOW DARE YOU!!! INOUE GAVE HIS LIFE PROTECTING ME AND YOU'VE NEVER PUT YOUR OWN PRECIOUS NECK OUT THERE FOR ANYONE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE YOU POMPOUS ASS!!! YOU'VE NEVER HAD TO WORK FOR ANYTHING IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE, HAVE YOU?! YOU WERE BORN A DEMON PRINCE AND THAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE?!? BECAUSE YOU HAVE POWERS YOU DIDN'T EARN?!

"If your idea of a good time is seeing the rotting corpses of your friends, be my guest..." 8_8 :'( No, they can't all be dead! Surely not! Kazama don't say things like that!

The Yodo are going to betray the Shogunate?!? I must warn them D:

Wow, this just got heavy and real sad.

Wait, did he just admit to meddling in the war?! He is such a hypocrite!!!! Aaaaaaah!!! Somebody call him out on his bs!!!!

SEN AND KIMIGIKU <3 SAVE ME!

Even Shiranui sees that humans have a variety of complex motivations X_X

I AM NOT YOUR FUTURE WIFE!!!!

Do the Shinsengumi just assume that I'm dead?!

Great, now I'm on a road trip with this cunt.

"I've never actually been this close to a man before..." Calm down! That horse is third wheeling so hard right now. And what about that time you fell ON TOP OF Okita?!

Welp, that's it for Kyoto Winds! Onwards to Edo Blossoms! I still don't like Kazama but at least murdering the ever-loving FUCK out of Kodo is a cause that I can believe in. Although, one of the reasons that I hated Kodo in Saito's route was because he was helping the same sex pest I'm now galloping across the country with. Huh. 

This is the most that I’ve ever used the word, “nonce” in my entire life and this is only the first game.

[the-golden-ghost]

RULES – Bold the statements that are true & tag 15 people.

TAGGED BY: No one technically, stolen from @skeleton-richard

APPEARANCE

I am over 5‘5“/ I wear glasses/contacts / I have blond hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings/ I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair/ I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile /I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

I play a sport / I can play an instrument (if you define “play” reeeeeeally loosely) / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies to TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work breaks / I can do a handstand

EXPERIENCES

I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them/ I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane/ I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree

RELATIONSHIPS

I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend / I have known a friend for over ten years / I have a brother/ I have dated my best friend/ I am adopted / My crush has confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days/ I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / The sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / Autumn is my favorite season

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of Sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities/ I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am multi-racial / I am a redhead/ I own at least three dogs / I am LGBTQ

Tagging: YOU (or anyone who likes!)

[pharaohsparklefists]

Episode 89! Big drama, quick action, shit not sorted out!

Such quick action, actually, I’m going to do something I haven’t done in a long time, and recap a whole episode at once. BUCKLE UP!

Malik is being a total unreasonable emotionally-abusive foolish SHITHEAD right now. I am so disappointed in him. He stops Rishid from WINNING to tell him he has to take the massive risk of playing the Fake Ra card because Malik just sort of wants him to and, to make him do it, he dangles the one thing Rishid will carve his own face off for...

This is a LOW BLOW you lying little shit, go sit in the corner and sort your shit out.

Shortly thereafter:

“I am so aroused right now.”

This ridiculous Monster swap, trading Mr Scorpion for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Actually The Avatar Of A God, turns out to be even more pointless than you might expect:

ICBINTAOAG has the same ATK as Mr Scorpion did! It inherits the ATK of the Monsters sacrified to summon it (Mr Scorpion counted as three Monsters bc it had eaten three Monsters. Yes, I think that’s bullshit too, but on the scale of the bullshittitude perpetrated this episode, it barely registers.)

Malik is delighted.

I think it proves you’re a manipulative little dillweed, but hey, it’s nice to know Malik’s ravings support my theory that Rishid was some kind of nephew or something.

Meanwhile, in her room, Isis divines what is about to happen and mentally warns Rishid that he’s about to mistake. “Mentally” here meaning “in her own head”, not “telepathically”, sadly.

Well maybe show the hell up next time instead of sitting in your room by yourself watching through your haunted jewellery. Then you could have warned him for real and maybe he would have listened! Like seriously, Isis, sort your shit out.

But she isn’t there and Rishid calls his attack and Malik’s Duel Disk FREAKS THE FUCK OUT

Yes, incredibly, just like EVERY OTHER TIME THEY USED A FAKE RA CARD, they have angered the actual real God known as Ra who makes their displeasure known through the age-old tried-and-true Zeus-favoured method of Precision Lightning Headshots.

Boom.

... Awkward.

Seems a bit harsh to ALSO lightning Jounouchi, but in Ra’s defense, Jounouchi didn’t get hit until he approached Rishid.

Everyone freezes in shock, except Honda, who runs forward to climb onto the dueling platform (but does immediately stop when Isono asks him to, even though, for all he knows, his friend is dead or dying...)

(Yami’s ADORABLE shocked face distracted me for a while, but try to tear your eyes away to appreciate Otogi’s horror-blah too!)

Tournament Organiser, Tournament Sponsor Company CEO, and yet somehow also Competitor, Seto Kaiba, tells everyone not to worry!

... this STRONGLY implies that there IS a fatal level though. It is a CARD GAME DEVICE, Seto. Sort your SHIT out.

Isono wants to end the duel and disqualify both competitors for “being unconscious during the duel”, which does seem a little harsh but on the other hand has the massive benefit of freeing the unconscious duelists up for some highly necessary medical attention, but Kaiba Walking-Health-And-Safety-Disaster Seto has a better idea!

Literally, let’s stand here for five more minutes and see if either of them get better or die. These two people just got HIT BY FUCKIN LIGHTNING, this is NOT a suitable tie-breaker. It’s a goddamn CARD GAME, the secondary win-lose criteria should NEVER BE “well let’s see if the electrocution sends either of them into cardiac arrest”. SORT YOUR SHIT OUT, SETO.

... HOW does he EVER get insurance to cover ANYTHING??

The Nerd Herd start yelling at Jounouchi to wake up.

Except Yami who stares in consternation elsewhere? Apparently at Rishid? Maybe he’s in denial about Jounouchi potentially being seriously hurt?

Isis has another worry than merely losing a brother to godly-lightning-attack...

And Rishid is the one who keeps the other!Malik at bay, so if he’s killed in a tragic card-game accident...

This is where things kind of fall apart for me, suspense-wise. Like I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be rooting for Jounouchi, and I certainly don’t want him to die or anything, but Rishid’s reasons for needing to get up and carry on are SO much better??? This isn’t Duelist Kingdom, where Jounouchi needed the prize money to save his sister’s eyesight. He’s literally in this tournament because he likes this dumb card game and it seemed like fun. He wants to do well and duel Yugi/Yami, but #spoileralert he ends up doing that after the tournament is over and that’s fine, so it’s totally not necessary for him to win here. He wants to get back up and continue the duel ... so that he can duel his friend at some point. 

Rishid wants to get back up and continue the duel because he knows he’s the only one standing between Malik and the violent alternate-personality waiting to break free and use Malik’s body, and he’s haunted by memories of Malik’s descent into darkness after being tortured by his own father as a child, which Rishid couldn’t save him from.

Jounouchi’s electrocution-vision?

He literally dreams he dozed off in class, then falls over his desk and has a little chat with his friends.

He does have a sweet moment where he acknowledges that he no longer wants to be that rash, aggressive guy who gets into fist fights all the time, because...

He feels, in the dream, heavy and tired and asks for his friends to help him up...

<3! 

So friendship wins out over family and duty and Jounouchi stands up while Rishid falls. This fits with the “friendship heck yeah” theme of the series, but ... idk. They explicitly framed this as “who is more determined to win this duel” and it reeeeeeally seems like it would be Mr If I Don’t Win My Precious Younger Brother Will Lose His Mind Maybe Forever and not Mr It’d Be Real Nice To Duel Yugi I Guess.

Anyway, it happens and Jounouchi’s up, but kinda dazed and not sure where he is.

HE GOT HIT BY FUCKING LIGHTNING LIKE FOUR MINUTES AGO, LADY, WHAT THE FRESH HELL, MAYBE SORT YOUR SHIT OUT

And Kaiba’s characteriscally-but-forgetfully derisive

oh my sweet precious fleeting grip on sanity it was yoUR GODDAMN IDIOT IDEA. YOU. YOUUUUUUUU. SHIT. SORT. NOW. PLEASE.

Speaking of fleeting grips on sanity, Jounouchi and Yami go to help Rishid but he’s like “lol don’t mind me, it’s Malik you gotta watch out for cause he’s about to flip the fuck out Disassociative Identity Disorder style”

And they’re like, legit, “Gasp! Namu is Malik?? The only other person on the blimp???” #sortyourshitout

And Malik FINALLY - cause you know he rehearses this in the mirror right? right. - gets to be all like “YES, IT IS I, MALIK! AHAHA”

But then tragically, like 67 seconds later, he becomes the very Malik they have not been fighting this whole time but instead becomes the Malik they will henceforth be fighting...

Who is very dismissive of The Artist Formerly Known As This Very Malik.

~Eight out of ten occult spirits prefer the darkness to other leading brands of eyeliner~

[whatsherfacewrites]

Hello there... On the one hand, every chapter of such a complex story with favourite OTP is waited, it is so great to receive quality angst and emotions we deserve. It wasn't enough of that in Trespasser. Come on, he is dying. Where are all the heartbreaking scenes, Bioware? Ugh. Okay, limited resources, I know. On the other hand, long pauses are not so bad, because you know there is something to wait for. Sometimes I don't want the story to end ;) Thanks, it was nice to hear about the process.

Thanks for the note! Hope this chapter has enough angst for ya. Plenty more to come. ;)

I know what you mean about not wanting it to end... Sometimes I feel that way, too. Only two more chapters! By the time I finish, it will probably be 2 years writing this thing! What am I gonna do then??? I sort of have an answer to that: I really, reeeeeeally want to write a sequel for my modern AU, but I’m forcing myself to finish Clean Burn first. It feels necessary somehow to get the “truth” of their story down so I can be free to riff. But yeah, I won’t be dragging this out longer than necessary. Even if it may seem that way, lol!