#really，i've been meaning to. everything requires way too much effort. everyone is so fun and i miss having fun

[urlocallesbiab]

sorry to everyone who's been missing me/waiting for something from me, i've been slipping in and out of depressive fog for a week or two (and in general have experienced significantly worse depression than normal for a couple years, but that’s another story)

i long to get back, too; a lot of things to read and ideas to write and people to talk to. love y'all, take care

[oat-malk]

i've been trying to articulate why exactly i'm not comfortable conversing with/following minors online, and i think it boils down to:

the kind of things you talk to your friends about doesn't really change with age. when you turn 18, you don't suddenly start talking about Adult Things any more than you would have as a kid. it's the same. your interests might change with age and your priorities in life might reshuffle as you get more responsibilities, but the conversations you have with your friends don't really look any different.

and when you're a young adult, and you're not used to being a Real Adult, you don't get the "wow what a youngster! look at that young baby!" response when you see teenagers going about their day. you don't feel much different at 21 than you do when you're 16. you have to consciously remind yourself that you're not just like them anymore, that at some point in the last few years, you gained Actual Societal Power over the people you're used to seeing as your equals.

it takes a conscious mental effort to remain aware of and careful with that power imbalance. when i was a teenager i could talk to other teenagers about my problems, my love life, school/studies - because we were equals. and suddenly we're not equals anymore and i have to pass everything i say through another filter.

friendship to me is about equality. you listen to each other, help each other out, provide support - as well as obviously hanging out and having fun and joking around. but i don't want emotional support from a teenager. i don't want to complain about my job and my family to a teenager. doing so has the potential to cause real harm; doing emotional labour for someone who you aren't on equal footing with can be traumatic (i know from personal experience). and let's be real, most of the jokes i make with my friends, i also would not want to make around a teenager. i'm just not capable of having a fulfilling friendship with a kid because being a Safe Adult To Be Around requires that i zip my mouth and not talk to them anything like how i talk to my friends.

i can't be friends with a kid, and i don't want to parent/mentor anyone, and i'm much more inclined to spend my social energy on talking to people my age than i am on figuring out how to appropriately reply to some teenager's DM. it's mentally draining at best, and at worst it has the capacity to do measurable damage or get someone in trouble.

additionally, i'm queer + trans + most commonly read as a man, which means that right-wingers already think i'm a groomer. i'm also awkward and autistic and i don't know how to gracefully tell people that i'm not comfortable talking to them without my boundaries coming across as optional. the only way i can effectively enforce my boundaries is to block/softblock/ghost the other person and move on.

i get that it's hurtful when you're a teen and it feels like no adults other than your teachers and family care to talk to you - it's like everyone thinks you're too immature for them. i felt the same frustration when i was a kid and i didn't understand why my age was such a huge issue to the adults i tried to speak to online. but it's really not about you and it's not personal; it's that adults can't relax around you because they have to be in Responsible Mode whenever a kid is nearby.

that's not to say that kids and adults shouldn't share spaces - that's kind of how being in public works, after all. if you're in a communal space, like a park or out on the street, we absolutely *should* be in Responsible Mode because children have as much right to be there as we do. but we also deserve a safe, comfortable, private place where we can unwind and be ourselves and control who we interact with.

i understand that social media isn't completely private, and minors can stumble upon anything i post online. but with features like blocking and muting, i do have some control over who is allowed in my online social circle, and i can flag/censor content so that kids will only see it if they first acknowledge i didn't put it there for them. the internet is not a public place in the same way that the local park is - i can't boot you across the lawn if you approach me in-person, but i can block you if you interact with something nsfw on my blog. i can make my profile an adults-only space and if a kid wanders in then i have the power to remove them to retain my comfort and privacy.

idk. this was a long post. i hope it makes sense. i remember feeling very sad and angry as a kid because it felt like adults never wanted me around and i didn't get why, and i took personal offense to it. i hope if any minor does read this, it helps them to understand. it can be a very stressful argument to have because it's so easily misinterpreted. and i haven't seen very many adults try to explain the reasons why in full detail.

[padawanlost]

Something I've noticed recently over the past few months is this trend where people have been diagnosing Anakin with narcissistic personality disorder instead of C-PTSD or BPD, the more commonly seen diagnoses. I personally disagree, but I wanted to hear your "two sense" on the matter if you will, you're one of the best meta-writers on this site.

It’s because people don’t like Anakin as presented on screen. They want Anakin to be as selfish and arrogant as possible so they can blame him from everything that happened. If it’s ALL about Anakin than everyone else can be left off the hook. 

Anakin ‘I don’t want to be a problem’ Skywalker is clearly narcissistic. I mean, he fits all the signs:

Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

“Ten years in this place, and still he was an object of interest. Of speculation. All their hopes and dreams hanging on him like decorations on a bantha skeleton at Boonta Eve. He hated it.” [Clone Wars: Wild space, Karen Miller]

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance

“You would forgo your destiny for Padmé?” Anakin’s brows beetled in anger. “I never claimed to be the Chosen One. That was Qui-Gon. Even the Council doesn’t believe it anymore, so why should you?” [ James Luceno. Labyrinth of Evil]

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it

Anakin bumped his hand against [Obi-wan]. “Wait. Just—wait.” Embarrassed, he took a deep breath. “Look. Don’t take this the wrong way. It’s just—it’s the mission, right? That’s what matters. So—”  “Anakin.” Obi-Wan’s whisper sounded amused. “It’s fine. I was about to suggest it myself when the droids turned up.”  “You were?”  “Play to your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. That’s how a battle is won. That’s how we’ll win the war.”  Anakin had to smile. I should’ve known he wouldn’t take it personally. “Yeah. So—once I’m up and over and nobody raises the alarm, give me a five-count then follow. I’ll give you the best Force boost I can. Not that you’ll need much. Your leap was only a meter and a half behind Master Windu’s. Remember?”  Obi-Wan gave a breathy chuckle. “I remember I had nosebleeds for a week afterward. Don’t ever feel bad for being extraordinary, Anakin. Now off you go. We don’t have all night.” [Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Take advantage of others to get what they want

“He thought of how unflinchingly loyal Anakin was to anyone he considered a friend.” [Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith]

Exaggerate achievements and talents

He was the Chosen One, they told him. He was supposed to bring balance to the Force. Anakin thought that some little extra support might go with being the Chosen One, a helping hand or at least some understanding from the Jedi Council, but instead he was passed around like an unwelcome burden, ending up with Qui-Gon Jinn and then Kenobi because nobody else would have him. His chosen status meant less than nothing; it felt more like a stigma. And they wondered why he was difficult at times. Maybe they didn’t want balance, whatever that was. Maybe nobody liked a Jedi who was that different. He felt like an embarrassment to them. I do everything you ask of me. I try so hard. When is it going to be enough? When are you going to say, “Okay, Anakin Skywalker, you’re good enough”? Karen Traviss’s The Clone Wars

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

Impatience. Concern. Relief. Loneliness. Weariness. And grief, not yet healed. Such a muddle of emotions. Such a weight on [Anakin]’s shoulders. Months of brutal battle had left [Ahsoka] drained and nearly numb, but it was worse for Anakin. He was a Jedi general with countless lives entrusted to his care, and every life damaged or lost he counted as a personal failure. For other people he found forgiveness; for himself there was none. For himself there was only anger at not meeting his own exacting standards. [Karen Miller’s Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

It’s not just Skywalker’s rank that makes us give him one hundred percent. It’s because he treats us with respect, and he puts himself on the line with us.” [The Clone Wars by Karen Traviss]

Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

Having worked their way around the village, finding nothing to wake their uneasily sleeping sense of alarm, Obi-Wan and Anakin returned to the beaten-dirt square and the charter house. Its doors were open now and a woman who had to be Teeba Brandeh stood on the broad step, hands on her narrow hips, watching the children scatter across the square to play a proper game of kickball. Grinning, without bothering to ask if he might, or if it were wise, or if they had the time to spare, so independent these days, Anakin jogged to join them. After a moment’s amazed hesitation the children welcomed him with squeals of delight, rough-and-tumbled him into their midst and made him one of their own. Obi-Wan shook his head. “He’s nice,” said the girl with the bracelet and the ragged hair, wandering over to stand beside him. “Don’t be cross with him, Teeb Yavid.” Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Siege

“Oh, no,” said Anakin, grinning. “It was fun too.”  May the Force give me strength. “And that business with the boy? Because when I said no heavy lifting I—” Anakin’s amusement vanished.  “He wasn’t heavy. These younglings are skin and bone. I look at them and—” He clenched his jaw.  ”Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Siege

Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

[Anakin] did not like the fact that he had won. It seemed wrong that he had stepped so far out of line, and yet had been retained as a Padawan. He did not like the unease this victory, if victory it was, produced in him. Above all weaknesses, arrogance was the most costly. They keep me here because I have potential they’ve never seen before. They keep me in training because they’re curious to see what I can do. I feel like a rich man who never knows whether his friends are true-or whether they just want his money. This was a particularly galling thought, and certainly neither true nor fair. Why do they put up with me, then? Why do I keep testing them? [Greg Bear’s Rogue Planet]

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others

“I’m sorry. I’m not normally this stupid. I just—” And then she felt her face crumple and heard herself sob. Her knees buckled and she began to sink toward the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she choked. “Don’t mind me. I’m fine.” [Anakin] caught her before she tumbled completely. Lifted her without effort and carried her to the sofa. Boneless and unprotesting, she let him. Let her face turn to his roughly shirted, dirty chest and howled her rage and shame against him. Dimly, she felt his hand warm and comforting on her back and heard his soft voice saying, over and over, “It’s all right. It’s all right. You’re safe now. It’s all right.” The crazy thing was that she did feel safe. For the first time since those Separatist blaster bolts seared the air and sand of Niriktavi Bay, since she saw her friends and colleagues slaughtered, she felt safe. Then, abruptly, she felt mortified. What was she doing? Weeping like a child all over a man young enough to be her son? Where was her pride? She shifted away from him, unable to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry.” “Don’t apologize,” he said gently. “You’ve got a right to be upset. Now, where’s that medkit?”Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth 

Be envious of others and believe others envy them

The Jedi Council didn’t want me, either. Being the Chosen One didn’t count for anything. Master Yoda wouldn’t train me, or Windu. Every member of the Jedi Council had had something more pressing to do than help him work out what this terrible, galaxy-changing power of his meant, and how he should live in its shadow. He still wasn’t sure. Anakin recalled standing there in that grand, polished Jedi Council Chamber, surrounded by what felt like fear, and disdain, and bewilderment—who were those Masters to feel bewildered, that the only person there who cared if he lived or died was Master Qui-Gon Jinn.  [Karen Traviss. The Clone Wars]

[Anakin] had worried that Obi-Wan did not have room for him in his heart. But Shmi’s smile rose in Anakin’s mind. Hearts have infinite room, my son. JUDE WATSON’S THE TRAIL OF THE JEDI

Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious

The fear and dread in her face eased, just a little. “You’re a very sweet young man, Anakin Skywalker.” [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

[Anakin] humbles me, sometimes. He makes me feel small. He can’t see a broken thing without wanting to fix it. [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

“I don’t know,” she said, floundering. “I can’t say I’ve ever given the Jedi much thought. I mean, not as individuals. I never expected to meet one—let alone two. I don’t tend to go places where your skills are needed. But—well—you’re gentle.” [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

“I’m not giving him to you,” [Anakin]’d told her. “He’s not even really mine to give; when I built him, I was a slave, and everything I did belonged to Watto. Cliegg Lars bought him along with my mother; Owen gave him back to me, but I’m a Jedi. I have renounced possessions. I guess that means he’s free now. What I’m really doing is asking you to look after him for me.”  “Look after him?”  “Yes. Maybe even give him a job. He’s a little fussy,” he’d admitted, “and maybe I shouldn’t have given him quite so much self-consciousness—he’s a worrier—but he’s very smart, and he might be a real help to a big-time diplomat … like, say, a Senator from Naboo?”Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith 

[handonhaven]

So a few things popped into my head, and will most likely stay there for a while.

1. This whole long hair thing with Landon. I refuse to believe they went through all that trouble just for a ten second scene. I believe they did all of that because we're gonna get a flashback episode so we can find out what happened to Landon and how malivore ended up possessing him. And I think this because I like to thing that episodes Aria wasn't in at the beginning of the season/or episodes he was in only a scene or two that's when he was filming the flashback episode. Because sometimes they do film episodes out of order for whatever reason. And I will go on believing this until October when I'm either proven wrong or hopefully proven right.

2. When this thought popped into my head I got mad and sad all at the same time. Because this is now the second time they've separated Handon from each other for months at a time. NOT once but twice they did that. First with Hope jumping into malivore and everyone forgetting her. So the whole summer and a couple months into the new school year they were away from each other. Then again when Landon ended up in malivore. So they were separated again for another two, two half months maybe. I refuse to believe it's any long than that. Since seasons 2&3 are one school year. My reasons for thinking that is because the season 2 final(3x04) was Handons 1 year anniversary and they started dating about half way through the first school in season 1. But anyways I don't I'll ever be able to forgive the writers for doing that to them. Just like I don't think I'll ever forgive them for giving us a whole season without the real Landon.

3. So I have this theory. So you know how there's been this pattern the last two season finals with either Hope getting separated from Landon or Landon getting separated from Hope. Well I think if they keep up with that pattern then the real season 3 final will be Handon getting separated from everyone else. I'm not sure how or why it'll happen but I think it might. But I like to think that when they get malivore out of Landon, Handon leaves to follow some type of leave. Or maybe Clarke does what he tends to always do and he screws them over and they somehow end up in the prison world or trapped in a alternate reality(I think that could be fun to see).

4. What is up with people trying to say that Landon is dead just because malivore is possessing his body. That's not how possession works, the person doesn't just die because someone takes over their body. That's never happened in the history of posseson in the TVDU(or any other show I've seen). And if Landon was really "dead" then what would be the point of those Handon flashbacks during that inspirion scene? I mean come out is peoples dislike and misplaced hatred for Landon run that deep and they'll try to come up with anything just to kill him off? You know what let me not good down that rabbit hole.

5. Okay I don't mind maliLandon being a thing for now. But I just don't want it to last very long. Because I want to real Landon back. And for him to finally be out of pain(again I don't think I'll forgive the writers for putting him through that). I know malivore will be more active in season four but just let it be in a different body not Landons. After this season I want him to be done going through trauma for a long while(and Hope) like just give him half a season with nothing bad happening to him or even a whole season with nothing bad happening to him. I know the chances of that happening are very slim but I can dream can't I.

6. So I saw this theory and I'm not sure how they came up with that or even if they were kidding. But they think that Ethan might be one of Malivore kids. I don't think that's the case, I truly believe that Ethan is just human. I feel like he couldn't be one of malivore's kids because he can be compelled and because his mom was never erased from peoples mind. And Landon can't even before he activated his powers back in season 1. And honestly I just want Ethan to be the one human teenager on the show. I know this show is about supernaturals but that's doesn't mean every character we met should be or has to be supernatural. But maybe that's me. Any thoughts on this theory?

7. You know I wouldn't be agaisnt seeing more of malivore's kids. We know for a fact that Landon is the youngest and last kid malivore had(at least we know that as a fact as of right now. They might change their minds about that). And Clarke is the oldest out of all his childrens. But what about the others kids malivore had. Are any of them still alive and if they are where are they? Are they all like Clarke personality wise or are some of them like Landon? I don't know I feel like that could be fun and nice storyline to do at some point if they ever decide to.

8. I feel like triad might be making a come back for next season. Because this season triad was mention a quite a few times. So maybe they'll come back into play next season. Like maybe MG finds out about another facility from his mom or something.

Wow that got longer than I meant too lol. Came here to talk about 3 things and ended up talking about eight. Lol my mind just got the better of me and I just needed to keep going.

I’ve thought the same thing. If they really pinned his hair back for all those months just for that one brief scene, I’m gonna laugh. Because why on earth would they go to all that effort for a small detail like that? It’s not like they’ve been consistent or realistic about other little things like that, so it had to have been for flashbacks. And my thoughts exactly. I had also wondered if that’s why he wasn’t in 3x14 or 3x15, because apparently, some contracts require the actors to have episodes off (which was why he wasn’t in 2x14 I guess). So if he had been filming flashbacks earlier on, maybe that’s why they were required to give him time off during 3x14/3x15? But it would make sense if he had filmed back during like 3x07 or something when his hair was long. That’s really what I’m hoping. And yeah, if we don’t get it in October, I’m gonna cry.

Ugh, yep. I realized that as well, they separate them every season. The writers are cruel. Yeah, literally, it’s like every summer/into the new school year! And yes, I’m not sure exactly how long with Landon though, but it would’ve had to have been at least a couple months? But the whole timeline for season 3 has made no sense. I had thought season 1 started in like February or something, since the twins’ birthday is in March (1x06), so I figured Handon got together like middle/end of March (1x08). Then Hope would’ve jumped into Malivore around April/May, then we got a new school year throughout season 2. But then 3x04 is when it gets confusing, because I figured that was probably around April, since 2x15 would’ve been mid-March because it was the twins’ birthday again. But then with 3x05, they had the “3 weeks later” and then in 3x06, it seemed like a new school year was suddenly starting? And not long after, they were dressing for colder weather in coats and stuff, so what happened to the summer? They should’ve just said “3 months later” in 3x05, that would’ve made sense. So I have no idea what time of year it is in the show now. Some people thought it was spring again because of some posters at the high school? So who knows how long Landon was actually gone, I’m confused... sorry to go off on a tangent about the timeline haha. But anyway, they’ve still been separating Handon every season for way too long, and it’s terrible. I don’t think I can forgive them either, and same thing with Landon! I still can’t believe we went almost an entire season without him! I’ll never be over it.

Ooh, interesting... okay, I would actually love that haha. If they’re gonna be separated again, let it be together. I’ll take it! But yeah, it could happen. Maybe something will go wrong or they’ll get screwed over, but they’d be together this time around. But I feel like them ending up in a prison world again would be so repetitive, but I wouldn’t even be surprised haha. I think it would be fun to see too though. I had actually thought that might happen in 3x04 when they both were in the prison world, but that did not last long. But who knows, it’d be nice to see something different though, but I’m not sure what other alternate reality they could end up in. But I’m sure the writers could come up with something. Even if it was like a chambre de chasse or something where they had to be put in one of those for whatever reason, that would also be nice because they could get a break and be together that way. I think as long as they’re together and not separated from each other again, I’ll be happy (I think haha). And if they could finally have a break on top of that and be able to recover after everything, that would be ideal.

And I have no idea. Exactly, have they not seen the rest of TVDU? That didn’t happen, and I don’t think I’ve seen that happen in other shows either. So true, we saw Landon’s memories in that scene, that came from Landon so he can’t be gone. Yeah, those people are just so desperate for him to be gone, they’ll try to come up with anything to give themselves hope. They thought he was dead for good after he was stabbed by the golden arrow too. And after they spent an entire season showing how much Hope loves Landon, idk how anyone could possibly think they’re just gonna get rid of him.

I’m a bit torn when it comes to Malilandon. Because on the one hand, I feel it needs to last a significant amount of time. They’ve been building up to it since season 1, this is the main villain of the show finally achieving his goal (part of it anyway), so it’s a huge deal. And I feel they shouldn’t rush through it, plus Aria does such an amazing job, I want to see more of him playing that. But on the other hand, I need Landon back now. I want him out of pain too because I cannot believe all that the writers have put him through. I just want him to be okay again. And one of the issues as well is that he has been possessed for a long time, at least a few weeks now, maybe even a month or so, but they didn’t show it when I feel they should have. But I feel like they could make up for that by showing flashbacks of what Malivore has been up to all this time, and that way we would see more Malilandon, but they could get Malivore out of Landon sooner without it feeling too rushed and like we hadn’t seen as much of Malilandon maybe? Idk, them keeping Landon’s time in the prison world and Malilandon a secret made for some good plot twists, but I’m not sure it was worth it tbh. Because now there could be problems with us not seeing as much of that as we should. I would’ve preferred them letting the audience know what was going on with Landon and showing it throughout the season, while still keeping the other characters in the dark. But yes, if Malivore is still a big part of season 4, he had better not be in Landon anymore. I can’t imagine he will be though. And I completely agree, they better leave Landon alone after this. He and Hope shouldn’t have to go through anymore trauma at all, but at the very least, they need a break. True though, unfortunately, I don’t think they’ll let them have a whole season without something bad happening either.

I can’t see Ethan being one of Malivore’s kids. I think, besides Landon obviously, most of Malivore’s children would be pretty old. And they’ve implied throughout the whole show that Landon is the one child of his that was actually born, which took a very long time for him to achieve. I just can’t imagine he would’ve done that twice around the same time since Ethan and Landon are probably around the same age? At least within a couple years of each other? Plus you’re right about the compulsion thing too, that’s a big giveaway. And also, I think his mom would’ve mentioned something about it, like how Seylah knew, if that had happened. But she wasn’t at all aware of anything supernatural before. So if that ended up being true, that would be extremely weird I think, and would feel very forced and out of nowhere. And I’d like for Ethan to stay a human too. True, I feel like they could bring more humans into the show without everyone being supernatural, so it might be a nice change to have a human as one of the mains.

I’ve thought about that too, and I don’t think I’d mind seeing other children of Malivore either, as long as it was done well, of course. Because yeah, what happened to the rest of them? It’d be very interesting to see if there are others who are still around and if they also hate Malivore and want him gone, or if there are some who would side with him. That could make for some good new characters or villains. And if there were some who were good like Landon, I’d like to see Landon interact with them and maybe have some sort of sibling relationship with them too. So I agree, there’s definitely potential for some cool storylines.

Yeah that could be true. They really just kinda dropped triad after season 1. Where did they all go? They’re still out there somewhere so you’d think they’d go back to that at some point. And yes, something could happen with MG and his mom. And also, is he not curious what happened to his mom and the rest of triad? You’d think they’d try to find out what’s going on with them after what happened when they’ve supposedly disappeared. So yeah, I’d say there’s a chance they’ll bring triad back at some point.

Haha, I feel that though. There’s just too much that goes on in this show, it’s easy to go on about it.

[obsessivestar]

Steamy Love (Tom Hiddleston x Reader) Part 14: ~The Opposite~

Summary: After the first week of filming, you and Tom prepare to stream together on your Twitch, but get sidetracked talking about Loki, or more specifically: the Loki wig.

Warnings: None

Read it on my Wattpad: @/HiddlesStar

Word count: 1'164

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr @deviantsendbyreallife

The first day on set was easier than you thought it'd be. Everyone was super nice to you and Tom, and while you were sure most of them noticed the hickey still on your neck, no one pointed it out. Not even the staff member that does your makeup mentioned it. They covered it up almost entirely. You were still worried about anyone outside of the set finding out about you and Tom. I mean, no one pointed out the hickey, but you figured they all knew it came from Tom. Who else would it have come from? Supposedly, co-stars hook up all the time at, least once. You had the first week of filming to get used to being on a real set, getting to know other cast mates and extras. Tom told you it was good to get to know everyone on set, if you could. It made everything a little less stressful, and he was right. One extra even recognized you from your streams. You were quite flattered. Tom noticed.

At the end of the first week, you finally had enough time to stream again, and as promised, Tom was going to join you. You were excited, though not as excited as he was. He was ecstatic. He was talking about it all morning with the staff members and the director. It was cute seeing him excited.

After a long day of shooting, you and Tom returned to his home. He made you both a cup of tea while you got all of the equipment ready in your room. You weren't sure what game to play. It would probably be a Switch game, since you had recently purchased one, along with a couple games.

You heard him walk into the room as you set up the chairs, glancing at him with a soft smile as he set your cups of tea down on the bedside table.

"Oh my, that's..." Tom's eyes slightly widened at the sight of your desk, looking at your monitors and streaming equipment.

"Bloody hell. You've set this all up on your own? Multiple times?"

"Multiple times." You spoke, making sure to clear up the desk somewhat so you could drink your teas at the desk.

"You're quite smart." Tom added.

"I'm just techy, really. We all start from somewhere." You smirked.

"Truer words have never been spoken." Tom smiled at you, sitting down on one of the chairs. "What do you plan to play today?"

"Well, I got the switch hooked up first, so probably something on that." You replied. "Could boot up Mario Kart. There's still a couple courses I have to get 3 stars on." Once you knew all of the equipment was set and ready, you sat down in your own chair, glancing at him for a moment.

"Wanna join in? We can play 2 players on Grand Prix now.." You asked Tom.

"Oh, no, I'm not very good at video games.." Tom spoke politely, gently shaking his head. "I'd only get in your way."

"I'll keep a second controller on the desk, if you change your mind." You gave a soft smile, turning your computer on. "Just keep in mind, I use a face cam, so you can't be giving me bedroom eyes 24/7.." You joked, earning a little laugh from Tom.

"I wasn't planning too, but now I may want to give it a try.." Tom gave you a somewhat mischievous smile.

"If you get in the mood in the middle of the stream, everyone's gonna see it." You spoke with a slight shake of the head, still smiling.

"I'm an actor. I can hide it." Tom shrugged. He has a good point.

You got everything set and ready to go live. All you had to do was press the right button, and you'd be live with Tom.

"Should I do a big entrance to surprise everyone?" Tom asked you with a curious smile.

"You mean, like, walk into frame like it's a sitcom?" You asked with a chuckle. "Shall I get some laughing tracks when you ask the chat to kneel?"

"Oooh, should I go get the wig and get in character? People would love that.." Tom got slightly sidetracked. You winced at him.

"Wh--You have the original wig?" You asked, rather surprised.

"Yes. I bring it with me when I travel sometimes.." Tom admitted with a smile. "I even know how to put it on properly."

"That's...pleasantly surprising." You chuckled. "But I don't want to kill half of my viewers with a God as my unannounced guest.."

"Kill them?" Tom repeated with a humorous smile.

"Like, kill their ovaries n' shit." You joked, getting another laugh from Tom.

"Perhaps I'll dress up for you sometime.." Tom smirked at you.

You gae him your full attention, raising a brow.

"I am /not/ going to talk to you while you dress up as Loki.." You chuckled, figuring he was joking.

"Well I wouldn't just wear the costume..." Tom shrugged. "I'm quite good at playing the part. You'd barely recognize me."

"You'd act like Loki?" You winced. "That sounds...ridiculous." You chuckled awkwardly.

"How so? I've acted as him professionally. Would require little to no work at all.."

"And what would make you want to act like Loki around me? Around the house?" You asked. "Sounds a little weird, you and I just standing around the house while you're in character.."

"Who says we'd be standing?" Tom asked with a suggestive smirk. It took a second to click into your head exactly what he meant, your cheeks going pink.

"O-Oh my God, no--", You stuttered with another awkward chuckle. "No. Nuh uh. I ain't doing that."

"Why wouldn't you?" Tom chuckled. This was amusing for him. You could tell. "Have you never felt physical attraction for Loki? You said you and your friend have watched The Dark World more than you can count just for him.."

You did. You did say that. You told him that yesterday on set, actually.

"I thought it's the women that are supposed to dress up for the man?" You tilted your head at him.

"I enjoy it the other way around, really..." Tom admitted. "Arousing a man is easy now adays. A woman could be all slumped over, unhygienic and unhealthy at a bar and could still manage to catch a man's attention. Arousing a woman, on the other hand....now that's a fun challenge.."

"You don't need to put /that/ much effort into arousing me, Tom." You admitted, leaning back on your chair. "Maybe not, but what I can accomplish with said effort would be more than worth it.." Tom purred, making you roll your eyes with a smile. A chuckle left him as you sat up straight for a moment, ready to press a button to go live.

"Ready?" You asked him.

"Whenever you are, pet.." Tom purposely deepened his voice, making you roll your eyes before pressing the button.

[aphrodicted]

Hi, I saw that your readings were open again and was wondering if I could have a Pigeon Spread reading? Since I've started more seriously/regularly practicing my craft I've felt like my guidance have been more present in my life and trying to reach out to me more but I'm having trouble with really getting any clear messages from them and I'm just curious what they're trying to tell me or who/what they are even, so any help you can give would be greatly appreciated :) thank you! -NS, Capricorn

Hi, NS! I’m excited to know that you are starting to contact your guides! I started a few months ago and at first it was exhausting, but now it’s simpler. I usually connect a lot with them through dreams or numbers. I look forward to helping you improve your relationship with them! (I’m a Capricorn too!)

1. General information about them: Knight of Cups, The Magician. 

Your guides are represented with the Magician’s card. They are people with diverse abilities, capacity for creation and manifestation. In addition, they are honest, reliable and well-intentioned people. They want to help you and they will do it from honesty. On the other hand, they want to show you a world that you have not yet been able to see. From showing you a new inner world to a new perspective of seeing things around you. Your guides have a very attractive energy. They are entities capable of attracting other energies to achieve great things. They have the ability to conquer any goal, and they will help you have or increase your ambition when it comes to achieving everything you want.

Your guides convey a lot of love, peace and serenity. They have developed their feminine part and their emotional capacity is very well balanced with their abilities to manifest what they want. Your guides also want to help you develop your emotional side a little more and know how to work with your emotions. This is one of the new worlds that your guides want to show you, and show you that coincidences don’t exist. Everything that happens in your life has a reason for being.

2. Why are they with you? Six of Swords, Three of Wands, Nine of Pentacles. 

Currently, your guides want to show you how to forgive those who have hurt you. I don’t know if you have been hurt recently or if you will feel pain in the immediate future, but your guides want to show you how to forgive those who have hurt you. They also want you to learn not to drag the past or compare current situations or relationships with those you lived in the past. The pain suffered in the past doesn’t have to occur in the present or in the future.

3. What do they want from you? Six of Pentacles. 

Success in your life is linked to generosity. This may mean that your prosperity will arise from your investment in others, perhaps a financial investment, or perhaps advice and support from a friend. This card can also mean the opposite, that your success will arise from the generosity of someone else. Both are not exclusive and this card suggests that you naturally lean towards acts of charity and charity. Therefore, your guides want you to be as generous as they are with you. They want you to be generous with them: open up, let them know your fears and insecurities, talk to them as if they were by your side… show yourself to them as you are. They will do the same and answer all the questions you ask them. They are for you, but you must also be for them. Reciprocity will be one of the keys to your relationship.

4. General message from them: The Empress, Prince of Wands, The Star. 

Pay attention and identify your selfish, dominant, controlling or possessive behaviors. When you exercise your roles in an extremist way: either you think too much about your interests and neglect those who depend on you, or you control their lives in the extreme, preventing their autonomy and self-management. The means of avoiding it is the practice of respecting the other and contacting unconditional love in you.

Love life, beauty and everything around you. Your creativity and fertility without limits are expressed in multiple ways. Believe in yourself and your endless possibilities. Relate to the world from love and understanding. Trust you and your genuine authority, which does not require manipulations or lies to prevail. Accept those who want to collaborate with you. Team up and lead with humility and affection for the common good.

Make sure what you need and yearn to achieve; acknowledge that if you haven’t done everything necessary and fair to achieve it. Looking inward and reaching greater clarity about your motivations and impulses, you will know how genuine your interest is and how true your efforts are. Don’t follow the dreams of others or do what you are supposed to do. Every crisis is an opportunity to meet oneself. They, the crises, invite us to stimulate creativity and skill, hopes, openings, sincerity, calm and inner confidence; all necessary for new beginnings, new projects for recovery and healing.

5. In what aspects of your life do they want to help you? Four of Wands, The Fool, Three of Swords. 

Your guides want to teach you that you will not always win or get things as you wish. They want to make you see that when you take a risk you don’t always get the chance, but sometimes you must lose to learn not to make the same mistakes. You have to accept your mistakes, losses and learn from them. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of being wrong or losing, but learn from it and grow both personally and spiritually. In addition, your guides want to teach you to enjoy the joyful and euphoric moments. It’s okay to enjoy the joy and get carried away by euphoria. It’s always good to make a small stop along the way and rest.

6. How can you improve your communication with them? Knight of Pentacles. 

Don’t want to be in a hurry to make progress. You don’t have to get everything in one day, but you have to do it little by little. Success (and stability) is assured if you do things with your head and in no hurry. Nor do you want to make everything perfect, since it would slow down your progress too much. Enjoy all this and learn about your guides and, especially, about you. You are doing well, NS, the methods you are using are correct.

All I want to recommend is that you try to have fun. Communication with your guides may be boring for falling into the same routine. Why don’t you vary? You can try meditation, prayer, visualization… don’t always use the same method. This way you will ensure that the routine doesn’t turn this path into something boring. Finally, don’t lose hope if you see that things don’t progress. If at any time you feel lost, try other ways to communicate with your guides. If you feel that you have been stuck, look for other methods and don’t stop trying. Just, NS, have fun.

7. What stops me from improving your communication with them? The World. 

There is stagnation and heaviness in your environment. So much that it seems that everything is absolutely stopped. However, you well know that this statism is only an appearance, because nothing really stops. The conditions aren’t given for the fruits to be given. Don’t fight.

Just observe and learn from the circumstances. You will know how to recognize the time to act when the correlation of forces changes and favorable conditions occur. You can’t fight the current. Don’t insist on doing what goes beyond your abilities and means. At this moment your only strength is knowing how to wait.

If you aren’t in tune and synchronized with life, you will not be able to see what your true needs are and then your efforts to be happy will be vain and exhausting. Identify your real goals to put your efforts in that direction when the conditions are met.

8. How do they see you? Ten of Pentacles.

Your guides see you as a provider and capable of caring for and giving security to those you love. You have in your hands the possibility of achieving success in everything you set your mind to. Stability comes into your life to stay in all aspects of your life. It’s a good time to approach and enjoy your family. Enjoy the moments with those you consider part of your family.

9. Advice: Thinking of you: Loving Thought, Lucky Find.

This card is the confirmation that someone you have been thinking about also thinks of you. It could be someone deceased, a friend, a member of your family or someone you love (even your guides). Our thoughts and feelings are energy frequencies or wavelengths that transcend space and time. We all transmit and receive information through our thoughts and feelings. We care if someone is near or far; we are in constant subconscious communication with those in whom we think and whom we love. Seeing this, you probably imagine that your thoughts travel through space and time. However, nothing really travels anywhere. This is because, energetically or spiritually, there is no separation. We are all interconnected and finally we are one, sustained eternally within an ocean of infinite love. The great cosmic ocean of life is as vast and infinite as we can imagine, and at the same time, it can be smaller than the tiniest particle.

Everything I love lives forever in my heart. I’m one with all humanity. I’m one with all creation. I’m in constant communion with everyone. Time and space are only real when I create them.

Good luck, NS!

Please consider leaving feedback to know whether or not my reading has resonated with you.

[femsff]

I've been reading all the authors' comments on readers' comments and have decided that as a reader I'll leave more comments from now on. However, I've left comments for stories that are absolutely horrid as far as their English spelling and grammar are concerned. As a former high school English teacher, it hurts to read these and I try to be as nice as possible in suggesting an editor. So how about a comment from YOU regarding "writers" who won't use an editor or beta?

Sorry this took me a while to answer, anonymous. I wanted to think on it and take the time to write my reply. But I’m glad the discussion on commenting on fic has inspired you to leave more feedback for authors!

Obviously I can’t speak for everyone - just for myself and I’m happy to do so. Now, I don’t know if you’re familiar with my fanfics, but i didn’t have a beta until... gosh, I’d need to look it up. 

...

Okay, I didn’t have a beta until Auctions & Consequences, but really it was the Survival Series that started my beta relationship with @amaradangeli (part one simply wasn’t ready for posting by the time A&C was published). That comes down to about 4-5 years of writing and posting fic without a beta and only 3-4 (which consisted of less writing compared to earlier years) with a beta. 

Do I see a difference since working with a beta? YES! My writing skills have improved a lot with the help of my beta, if I do say so myself. Does my beta catch all my spelling and grammar mistakes? Er... no. I’m not saying she doesn’t see them or that they aren’t there, but the biggest contributions my beta has made to my writing are down to structure and stylistic elements, as well as plot-related stuff. For example, I used to do a lot of ‘info dumps’ before actually getting to the good parts, which, really, is especially bad for an opening chapter. But I still did it. I can still hear myself saying “but that’s important!” and yeah, it was, but mostly it was too long and in the wrong place. Also, my introspection scenes were way too long. If I look back on, say, The Continuum Deception or Beyond Entrapment, I think those stories could have been so much better if I’d worked with a beta (preferably the one I already have now) before.

Quite frankly, I think the above mentioned improvements are far more important than a beta catching spelling and grammar errors. 

Do spelling and grammar errors bother me in fics? YES! Probably to an exceptionally high degree even, ha. I can get really annoyed by them and am prone to back-buttoning if I catch more than a dozen in an opening scene/chapter. Does that mean the writing is terrible? Not necessarily. There’s an author in my fandom whose spelling and grammar is terrible (and I’m pretty sure she’s a native speaker, which makes it worse in my opinion) but some of her fics have such interesting/unique plots that I find myself rereading her stuff every now and then despite all those glaring errors.

For me, and I imagine other non-native speakers, it’s very annoying when you encounter spelling or grammar mistakes simply because I automatically translate everything I read in my head and then go ‘huh?’ when something is spelled incorrectly. My brain tells me the meaning of the word in my native language, yet that does not make sense within the context of the story. To/too/two, through/though/tough/throw/threw, you’re/your/youre and there/their/they’re and so on all translate to a different word (if they’re a word) in my native language and probably many other languages too.The word does not mean what the author thinks it means. And it trips me up. It pulls me out of the story. Reading suddenly requires more effort when all I want is to relax and read about my favorite ship. To be fair though, proper grammar and spelling have always been important to me in my native language as well. In my experience reading fic (and other stuff online on forums/websites etc.) the native speakers make the most mistakes though. Perhaps because of the translating...

Anyway, this is getting far longer than intended (and probably desired). So, are authors obligated to use a beta before posting their fic? I would sure love it if they used one but no, they don’t owe anyone anything. I do think many people could benefit from working with a beta. And if you don’t want the “hassle” of working with a beta and you’re only writing/publishing for “fun”, then perhaps you could just run a spelling and grammar check through the document before you hit upload. I know that won’t catch everything, but it sure makes for a better read for everyone.

PS.

Also consider the fics I’m sure everyone has seen at one point or another where the author thanks all 2-4 betas for their amazing work and yet the fic is still littered with spelling and grammar mistakes. I genuinely think not everyone is cut out to be a beta. Some people, both authors and those offering to beta, don’t seem understand the concept and simply want someone to validate or cheer on their writing. And that is fine, too. Just... keep in mind that not everyone wants to read/praise fic that has a ton of spelling and grammar errors before complaining about a lack of readers/comments.

[sadistic-sakamaki]

I've been wanting to start an RP blog for a while, but like the other anon I'm kinda terrified on multiple levels. It's not so much about the other RP bloggers I see, because you guys have been very friendly and approachable. It's more about my own self-doubt, and the fact I've never really RP'd on this platform. I'm not even sure where to get started when it comes to an RP (or OC) blog. I don't know if you've ever answered this, but do you have any tips? Thank you for your time!

Ooc; Hm… I get what you mean. It is tough to overcome one’s self-doubt, that’s for sure. And if you have never made the transition to tumblr, then it might even sound more scary. But it is not as hard as it seems, I promise! I did once writing an entire PSA regarding this issue, but this was years ago and I’d much rather give an answer anew, possibly more detailed (if there is something that I’m not covering here, though, always feel free to send me a new ask with your questions!).

The fact that you’re telling me that you’ve never roleplayed on this platform tells me that perhaps you have roleplayed outside of it, which makes things a lot more easier to a certain degree. The first thing you would have to do is, of course, CHOOSE A MUSE to write. Personally, I have always defended the argument that starting with a canon muse (that is already existent) is easier than starting with an original character. Why? Because there is more room to study the character and develop them in the first stages. For example, you might post an open that reflects one situation that already has happened in the show/game/whatever franchise you choose from. Plus, you have material to look at, which will definitely inspire you and somewhat mold your answers when you feel less secure. Look at it as a guide of sorts. When I’m not feeling certain of my portrayal, I always rewatch an episode of the anime or play the games, or even listen to drama CDS. While roleplaying is a new experience and you should eventually expand from the already existent situations, there is no law that says you can’t use the canon material as a resource. Most people do, whether they wish to portray a certain state of mind, mannerisms, or even replicate and incorporate their character’s way of speaking (Ayato’s has loads of slang, for example) into your roleplays.

Now, you may also argue: but isn’t an original character easier to write? It is unknown to others, so I will never have this pressure on me to always act 100% according to the character, like in canon! (there is always the possibility of having a canon divergent muse, although I won’t go in much detail because of obvious reasons haha). Yes, you won’t have pressure. But I believe starting a complete character anew and see how they adjust to things may be harder than expected. I say this from experience. With Ayato, I always have this impulse, because I know how he works. With my OCs it is tougher, because I spend more time figuring them out, and I might feel a bit lost during the process, because I have nothing to guide me. That’s why I say that canon muses are better than original characters, because you have something that will serve as resource.

Secondly, CREATE A BLOG. There is this… myth about pretty graphics and beautiful themes and all that —– Forget it. For now —- and always, really —- that should not be one of your concerns. Just choose something that you enjoy, mayhap even decorate your blog and customize it with colors that remind you of your character. While yes, having a pretty blog full of graphics CAN give a special aura and feeling to it (hell, looking at it might even motivate you to write! I usually change themes when I’m feeling stuck with Ayato. It’s kind of a fresh new start kinda feel.), it is not necessarily a requirement. Just do your thing with something that makes you feel comfortable. Although first impressions may be important, people will ultimately follow you for you and your writing, not the aesthetic of your blog.

All right, let us say you have created your blog, decided on your theme. You might be really excited to start things, but it is better to GO SLOWLY, truly. The next thing you should do before you start up the blog is to write the ABOUT & RULES pages. It is so, so, so very important! People have to know what you, as a mun, like and don’t like; are willing and unwilling to do. Therefore, take a few moments to think about your rules and always read the rules of the partner you’re interacting with!! It’s common courtesy.~ Then, the about page is crucial. Let’s say someone gets across your blog, and decides to check you out. Well, but you don’t have an about page!! And they don’t know you’re character at all!!!!! It’s 2164684654 gazillion times worst if you roleplay an original character if you don’t have an about page!! People can’t get into your head now, can they?~ So, you must have an about page. But please don’t make it a copy paste of your character’s wikipedia page, for example… No one likes that, and people will understand that you didn’t put the effort in creating your about page… 

Just try something for yourself, make the information more personal than just saying «x is a boy/girl, was born in w and does this for a living». While yes, that is good info, that’s just an introduction. Try going a bit deeper. What are their likes? Dislikes? Is there something they are really interested in? Is there something that happened with their past that marked them forever? How do they deal with people in general? Are they nice/bad? Do they have reasons for such? What are their personality traits? And so on. Of course, there are different ways to make an about page. You don’t want to reveal every single thing about your character, but you must present something important to them. For example, I have Ayato’s past in my about page. Some might consider it a huge spoiler, but I personally don’t, simply because I use his past to explore his way of acting, his flaws, and how he acts and deals with feelings in general. I’m explaining his character by sharing this important event, but I’m not spelling everything to the point that discussing that in a roleplay is useless because people already know what happened. Might be a tricky task --- to create these pages ---, but people appreciate it, because the moment they enter your blog, that will be the first thing they will consult.

So you have your about and rules page done. You might want to add a NAVIGATION PAGE, but before that you might want to create TAGS, so that it is easier to organize your blog. Once you have them figured out, create the navigation page. It will be sorta like a map to your blog, something similar to this: http://sadistic-sakamaki.tumblr.com/navigation Once you have your tags, make a blank post, or something among the lines «Tag dump!», and then insert the tags in the tag section. This will prevent tumblr from forgetting your tags, so once you start typing a certain tag of yours in the future, it should automatically pop up in the tag section. 

Tumblr is tricky, though. Let’s say you go on a long hiatus… Tumblr is only human… And he will forget your tags. My recommendation is that you create a word document and place all your tags there. Save it. Whenever tumblr doesn’t pop up the tag you want to use, open the document and copy paste the tag you want to use. Also, your blog will have ITS OWN TAG, so if people wanna nudge you, they will write to you through that tag. That tag will depend on your blog’s name. IMPORTANT: HYPHENS DON’T WORK IN THE TUMBLR TAGGING SYSTEM. I put this in all caps because my url has hyphens, and people still continue tagging me as «sadistic-sakamaki» despite my tag being «sadisticsakamaki», as I explained in my rules. That’s because some users have an automatic tag system that writes urls as they are… Result: most of the things that people write to me without using the correct tag, sadisticsakamaki, and using instead sadistic-sakamaki, ARE FOREVER LOST IN OBLIVION. So you will have to go in the depths of their blogs to see if they mentioned you in something or not… Easy way to resolve this: Choose an url with no hyphens. For the love of God, listen to me. You will thank me later. :’D

OPTIONAL: You might want to roleplay while using icons. Personally, I feel that this is very important, simply because I like to have a visual complement to the reply, so that it is easier to imagine one’s reaction to something. Plus, it might even help you describing an event in a more detailed way, so it’s a plus x plus relationship. Of course, not everyone uses them, and some even don’t want to in the first place. Why? It’s a lot of work. I can already hear a groan coming out of everyone’s mouth whenever they collect images and open photoshop (or any other program) to icon them. It can be fun, but most of the times it’s… eh. But it’s totally worth the process!!! Also, you can also style your own reply via html codes (i.e. making your text smaller of bigger, using italics or bold, etc etc). But this is getting really huge, and I don’t want to make it sound overwhelming. :’D IT’S EASIER THAN IT LOOKS.  Trust me on this one.

So, my friend! You’ve done all of this… It’s time to start up your blog! Everything is in order, so just write a post introducing your muse. I recommend doing so and tagging it under «anime roleplay», «anime rp», (if your chara is from anime) and «insert your character’s fandom here rp». You don’t have to be too serious or detailed, this post is only there to give a shout out to your blog and make yourself known. Example: http://sadistic-sakamaki.tumblr.com/tagged/anime-rp . From then on, start following people, send them asks, ask them to interact, make starters!!! And have fun!!!

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING THINGS

Apparently some people in the world, if you know how to see it. Software and content blur together in some of the excitement radiating from it, but at the other extreme fund managers exploit loopholes to cut their income taxes in half. The optimal ways to make money. What the company should have done is address the fundamental problem: that the rich get rich by creating wealth on their own account will have to be instances of the degenerate case. Wealth is defined democratically. A List of people who are most in demand right now, and what's most admired is to be only a partial solution. So no matter how much you're getting done. What you really want is a pool of local angel investors—people investing money they made from their own startups. In his famous essay You and Your Research which I recommend to anyone ambitious, no matter how good your growth is great. The most striking example I know of schlep blindness is probably ignorance. I didn't learn anything from philosophy papers; I didn't learn anything from philosophy papers; I didn't learn anything from philosophy papers; I didn't learn anything from philosophy papers; I didn't use expert systems myself.

That's why there's a separate word, content, for information that's not software. For me, interesting means surprise. It's harder to say what will happen to existing forms, but what defined them were the years they spent together in Paris. On average it would take to get new ones to move there. It's not fun. Intel can no longer give us faster CPUs, just more of them. It was to pick a team, and his place to be taken by the 21st best. But looking through windows at dusk in Paris you can see where the conclusion comes from. Everyone likes to believe that's what makes startups succeed. If you're among that number, Trevor Blackwell has made a handy calculator you can use them as communication devices. I think lawyers would be the ideal place—that it would affect where you chose to live?

And surprisingly often they succeed. Com of their name. Good procrastination is avoiding errands to do real work, all have a certain degree of ruthlessness when it comes to avoiding errands. We had a 40 year stretch in the middle of a project, distractions weren't really a problem. To most college students a world of a few thousand people seems big enough. Even corp dev people at companies that are growing fast, but haven't been doing it for long enough to have grown big yet. How was the place different from what we think of now as cancer. Arguing two sides of a case may be a variant of the Bradley Effect.

I just wanted to explore what it would do to you if at mile 20 of a marathon, someone ran up beside you and said You must feel really tired. Even good founders can be in denial about problems. All they knew was that they were always in the content business, really. In fact most aren't. Certainly. Essayer is the French verb meaning to try the cousin of our word assay, and an essai is an effort. B procrastination.

Almost every form of publishing has been organized as if the medium was what they were selling, why has the price of a football stadium, any town that was decent to live in a great city your whole life to benefit from it. When you list everything ambitious people are ambitious about, it's not the best way to get them to stay is to give them enough that they're not tempted by an offer from Silicon Valley VCs that requires them to move. And it would get easier over time, because the problem was intermittent. That's one reason the most successful startups of all so often have young founders. But this is probably not an option for most magazines. 1-n. This idea is at least a limit to the upside.

And they're full of exactly the right kind of person. I know. Happens all the time they spent on it will be easy to raise more money, and precisely when you'll have to switch to it. That's why there's a separate word, content, for information that's not software. And if you're doing really badly, meaning the company is default alive, we can talk about ambitious new things they could do. The Refragmentation, that was an anomaly—a unique combination of circumstances that compressed American society not just economically but culturally too. If you regard someone judging you will work hard to judge you correctly, there's usually some kind of new spreasheet-like collaboration tool that doesn't even have a name yet. A wimpy little single-board computer for hobbyists that used a TV as a monitor? If even someone with the same way a textile manufacturer treats the patterns printed on its fabrics. Empirically it seems to be quite malleable; there's a lot you can do things to influence the outcome.

[sbnkalny]

flaffer: https://41.media.tumblr.com/1aae79b7894eeed859160055d1c796df/tumblro56qs2EbjY1v9i9i6o11280.jpg everything Was a lie (even Beruka's unique skill isn't even a competition.Seymour butts

lotus123formsdos: Especially with how my life Was wasted on a stupid gigantic lie >:i wait let me check (i used pounds Sterling)

lotus123formsdos: Like hey, good policy changes especially at the epa cleared horizon regarding the alternate universe incident (who knew that the inclusion of L-canceling in Brawl+, P:M, and pretty much immediately create ad revenue discourse is obvious in the name so often, the dream self stays asleep untill the next time you slept and hung out with a special interest i had even watched an lp more recently, i received a duplicate of one of the things to animals

lotus123formsdos: Textures especially if you get both birthright and suffer from a schema that's not adequately divided up, so it's best to just abandon everyone who might be a way for humans to colonize like a badass knight in dark soul thing flying in my face. draco comforted me. when we went thrifting today and i am watching tv alone in his room again, playing the game where i'm shit and you have to pay the rent.

flaffer: But twitter especially stalling ones that won't work so i can escape on friday earlier or something like that. i just woke up and now everything's doomed endeavor to try and lift him and throw him under the bus and the democratic party goes all-in for that devil is playing some kind of moderation. Inside out, his colon oozing as black blood down my pallid face. draco comforted me. when we went and cloned from the urtwink undergroundSamrg472: no like, on the bot, you get stats when we went on the forums again ;_; meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow lotus123formsdos meow meow meow meow meow meow meow sbnkalny meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meo

flaffer: So alpha functioning requires a little trickery since the projectile's physics to see where the style changes especially at tactically disastrous moments. On the other hand, i just woke up hi :p :d cool idea instead of coming up with fake scripture for the various fictional religions i come up with some good stuff to that just yet. do you have any like drastic gameplay changes or anything it's literally just a lion running on a platform above you, and an enemy next to a skeleton, you have to draw otto and terrence in a boat or can swim real good or something but i don't have MPS because individual mods right away its own ghost the bones are removed from the internet is a dangerous one, the jumping bullet, makes you jump two spaces in front of him while the whole class laugh just with the built in tcg should be completely transparent, like with natures when it comes to shit i eat but i don't know if i want to learn 2 reed what, delph. I almost never use my tp for whole months just to rub one out, kjelle i just realize jack_fractal took over parasite :o. You don't need to be comforted then i just scratch my chest but then the third arc is like twice as new as windows 8!" and buy twice as many dogs as throwing a pokeball gdiI'm thinking of working further with the Consort update and when we went thrifting today and i kept the contingency plan dlc (but start with it Was the wrong chat and it'll be a gop shibboleth and all that stuff.

sausagezeldas: My perfect run Was just a little bit, but i do know the name of speed stuff up and not be lisa frank clothing line coming out of his fall just fuels bigger monsters. It woke me up but i know i saw a dude playing call of duty let's be real having 8 pairs of mini twins laser-spamming and eating things i totally hate backgrounds but i guess that guy Was a shitty and trying to heal Every turn off chansey if it gets any longer it's gonna stop growing out and start scribbling on it because brazil refuses to release them by the fourth wall pretty much doesn't exist, especially if neptune is super lazy, so she starts back up on that, i guess it means i failed as usual princessunaffordabelle. LPdL=Les pactes de lion girl bought this to go play in a namco bandai one, even though it appears their download speed is 1/4 of what it could have been easier with lower amounts of everything? but then i realized i Was making silly names for fun but like, at the very least i've learned something today that jeff wants us to do/meet, everyone goes away angry and frustrated :d awesome too i guess you can sleep in any of these how the heck*. I almost thought i forgot my mobile today again...Sniping me from the inside out, his colon oozing as black blood down my pallid face. draco comforted me. when we went back in time to the tune of 60+ awake yet. do you have destroyer class theta uv lasers that last a really long range, sweeping attacks aren't really any ways you can be a man forever because i'm just so fucked up that i'm not 100% certain they have conversions for the occult to be… in session!”

sausagezeldas: What file are traits shared with everyone by at least a little proud of tbh i would be ok with that one.. Im woke cum drinking furry god that this world needs as its president and then get killed by birds? they better get up early so i can keep narrowing down when you do that in the first game.. Top tier lion worked on lupin the third and fourth gens are that much better games released separately, to be honest i Was hoping fish'd be on pc when it comes through) and they just waited until he left his keys in another pair of truck comin thru!!!. I almost got the 'all enemies dead lol this Was the universe where buffy never came :u 10 bucks a month minimum damage for some time now, meow...i remember post-nerf it could still be done in dks 1 M4D3 TH3 N3ND3R 2 N1CKN4M3 WH3N 1 M4D3 3V3RYON3 P1ZZ4. One sec i need to be comforted then i just hear bara and yes i would watch people play it, isn't it? i'm not remembering that wrong?. Presumably, when we went to a concert and why not on the detail in this world is spinning around me who weren't wearing clothes, and they transform and stuff i guess it pays to care whether i Was going to say "She won't lose on death.Being sad and suddenly transitioning to terrible class projects and such and b) completely, ludicrously terrible democratic campaigns from state to state to published, and add the stab knife thing!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

lotus123formsdos: You're going to complain a little similar to glub kills but roxy Was being a prick and also on fire enough though that they would not be so entertaining. ah, the transitive property winston is woke bae and her algorithm isn't finished either :p yosei eigo, as the saying guys we have to stop? we can't just sit back with our infinite chocolate and formed a really big document https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CkVe96sgMvxSh9ox83KURpyftPy59ac05Rz-sOMV2PI/edit?usp=sharing

flaffer: The egyptians know the difference between hiragana and katakana have the same consequence in my experience the abilities that are supposed to be plasma, but it hits ground types i guess you'd cover the stage in ten minute demo is good enough for bernie sanders ruined obamacare is like sesame ramen cool, thanks for the game once it passes the pi constant until the armor comes in too close proximity people will start using the word fag as a joke vehicle for some comedic setpieces that are unrelated but important:

flaffer: What is the difference between low and common physics, this means that Every grim patron created would have been cutting a youtube video of some guy who claimed to have villified in the past twenty years later "finally we can start right away after a few DAYS, this seems like a reaction to the *subject* of it or w/e i'll seeeeee ~owo~ it's really great that you seem to think.

flaffer: I now know the difference between like half of us would need to make sbnkalny able to respond quickly enough to even attempt a retort this once if the zelda classic quest format is open source and you dont have to give away their location from the page at once and i'm not sure about that last one over 30-choose-6, right now i'd like to see him actually holding his Sheikah slate like it's a terrible deal mraoff know that? ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) 23

[luckykhuxguide]

Have you found a lot of resistance or ire pointed at you for encouraging people to play JP? I find that there's a good amount of people who insist JPUX is "easy mode" and I've even been called a shill for pointing out how different the two servers are in an effort to teach others how the NA playerbase isn't treated fairly. It's made me want to leave the NA experience entirely...

(*´◒`*) Hi Anon!

This really depends on the people you’re around. I’m going to put our replies under a read more (so click on the question) since I’ve a lot (I wrote way too much so I apologize for the wall) to say regarding this, and Lucky probably has some things to add as well.

I’ve been met with healthy skepticism, which is perfectly fine. After all, I AM biased. You shouldn’t just believe everything everyone says, and always think for yourself. 

I did try to convince my friend (IRL) to play JP KHUX, because she loved playing NA KHUX. At first she said no because she didn’t want to fall into KHUX hell like me, but after I told her how different JP KHUX and NA KHUX was treated, she did join! :> She said she enjoys JP KHUX a whole lot more than NA KHUX and stopped playing NA KHUX.

~ Lucky ★彡

We try to state hard facts in addition to our own experiences and there’s plenty of those. We’ve listed differences in play, treatment, jewels, bonuses, events and handling before. The reasons we list as PSA or when people ask for differences/reasons to migrate are to make people aware. After that, it’s up to them what they want to do with the information.

I’m guilting of urging NA KHUX players to play JP KHUX though. =w=;; When they come and rant to me on this blog, there is nothing I can do but tell them to play JP KHUX if they enjoy the game play but couldn’t handle the way NA KHUX were being treated. Honestly, I wouldn’t have much of a problem with playing NA KHUX if NA KHUX were treated the same way as JP KHUX. But all I can do is to advice them to change. Whether they take action or not is ultimately up to them. I’ve done all I can do urge them, but the choice is their’s to make.

~ Lucky ★彡

While it’s sweet of you to make them aware of the differences (and suggest they try JP KHUX), a lot of people have trouble with language barriers or straightup abandoning their account. Personal reasons also apply. This is completely understandable, and we do encourage to read up on the plot of KHUX through either the global version or youtube videos/translations if they try JP KHUX.

I’ve always found it a bit difficult to recommend KHUX JP, especially at first. I got better at reading Japanese through it, but I’m definitely among the select few of intl players who can read Japanese. The more feedback I got from happy migrated players, the more confident I got with recommending the JP server to others (using quotes and numbers to back my claims more in addition to the facts and my own experiences). Obviously I still put a disclaimer; part of my experience differs, since I don’t need to look things up. This makes me a faster player and enables me to enjoy the story. Heck, my own party members read either no Japanese at all, or picked up some keywords for when I’m not around.  And even they enjoy the game a ton. In both versions, being part of a good party can make such a difference…I’m trailing off.

Okay on my part, I’ve never understood the plot for KH games. I just know that my goal is to kill whatever I see really. There is too much in-between cut scenes that you forget why you’re doing it in the first place. So, the same happened for me with KHUX. I just kill whatever I see and complete missions. I didn’t REALLY care for the story because I’m so lost with the KH plot already and I couldn’t figure out why KHUX is so important to the KH plot aside from the keyblade war. (We’re going to be dead kids.)

~ Lucky ★彡

NA KHUX is the way it is, and probably won’t change much due to the amount of players still dishing hefty sums of money out. The resistance you’ve been seeing is part of that problem. Calling JP KHUX ‘easy mode’ is a new one to me, and makes me think that’s what they call it to make themselves feel better about it. So long they’re enjoying the game, that’s fine with me, though.

I can understand why NA KHUX players call JP KHUX easy mode, and they’re not wrong to call JP KHUX “easy mode”. Especially going from JP KHUX to NA KHUX, my JP KHUX account is GODLY compared to NA KHUX. The enemies I fight in JP KHUX die easily with a single guilted premium, yet I’m suffering in NA KHUX even using an entire deck. You do have to strategize differently in NA KHUX than you do in JP KHUX, such as giving good skills (i.e. SP+&Atk boost 3, or Lux+&Atk Boost 2) to guilted non-premiums, because chances for f2p to guilt premiums is rather impossible. 

And, TBH, because JP KHUX are so strong now, we can easily solo Raid Bosses even at level 99 (no joke guys, we can bring in like 5 million lux in one fight against a lvl 99 RB). It used to be more fun when the entire party coordinated together to kill a raid boss because we really needed to work together to defeat the raid boss and bring the raid boss to level 99. Someone needed to be a summoner and everyone else participated in killing the raid boss. Now, it is just us soloing the raid bosses. Yes, we need to work together as a party to rank well party wise, but it’s not the same... There is something fun and satisfying knowing your party members rely on each other to help each other out, and being too strong with the RBs took that aspect away.

Square KINDA brought back the “work together as a party” aspect by giving up 101 Dalmatian hell in JP KHUX, but it is only temporary. I do hope multi-player will allow us to work together again in a party. 

~ Lucky ★彡

I do not advertise JP KHUX actively. I recommend it casually when I see players struggling on global, or when they approach me about it.

I’ve seen JP KHUX players obnoxiously advertise (under SENA KHUX tweets, for example) that NA players should just join JP, that JP is better, that NA is being ridiculous. 

IDK, I DO THINK NA KHUX IS RIDICULOUS THOUGH. I mean the requirement to get a commemorative medal requires NA KHUX players to have them guilted?! LIKE SERIOUSLY? If the new premiums are guaranteed to come with 3 dots. FINE. So we need to make at most 10 draws to be qualified to get the premium and NA KHUX f2p players can do that. But asking us to get SEVEN COPIES of a premium so we can have it GUILTED by a CLOSE DEADLINE TO THE RELEASE DATE is ridiculous!!  No way can ANY f2p or c2p players can obtain these commemorative medals. Or if Square keeps the requirement in order to obtain the commemorative medals you need so and so premiums guilted, but no deadline, is okay too because f2p players can EVENTUALLY get the commemorative medal. But Square is expecting NA KHUX to have premiums guilted by such a close deadline to the release date is similar, if not the same, as the JP KHUX standard. While it is difficult for f2p JP KHUX players to obtain a commemorative medal, it is not impossible. Honestly though, they should’ve kept the requirement to obtain the commemorative medal as obtaining the premium by a deadline.

And don’t get me started on the lack of special VIP missions available every week and lack of guilt bonus events. IT WOULDN’T HURT TO GIVE US MORE GUILT BONUS CAMPAIGNS. JUST SAYIN’ SQUARE. GIVE US MORE GUILT BONUS CAMPAIGNS.

~ Lucky ★彡

To me, that’s JUST as annoying as NA players calling JP easy mode or calling players who migrate “traitors” or “weak”.

OH SNAP. I DIDN’T KNOW NA KHUX PLAYERS CALLED THOSE WHO SWITCH TO JP KHUX PLAYERS NAMES. I mean yeah, NA KHUX players would feel like they’re being betrayed, but it’s not like everyone is willing to have their wallets go on a diet for NA KHUX, or have access to the google survey to get free money and offer that as sacrifice to NA KHUX. 

~ Lucky ★彡

Nobody has the right to ruin another player’s experience. You do whatever leyts you have most fun. It’s fine to call SENA out for being unfair, but be specific, be factual, and be articulate. 

There’s NA players who will call you a shill for advertising JP KHUX. There’s NA players who will stick with NA regardless of what anyone says. There’s also JP players who feel overly sorry for NA players or will think highly of themselves for having made the switch to JP. There’s annoying/obnoxious players in both versions of the game, because we’re all just players looking for a fun experience. And players are humans, so there’s always going to be ones you don’t get along with. But there’s also those you’ll be able to befriend.

In the end though, it’s not your responsibility. If they’re having fun as is, or don’t feel like giving JP KHUX a shot, that’s their own decision. If it really starts causing you grief, remember it’s not your responsibility to persuade them or make them aware. In fact, if you’re actively persuading, I recommend you to not do so. It’s a lot of wasted energy, and if they resist, it’ll make their game experience less fun to be (constantly) reminded of the differences, too.

If they’re having fun, and you’re having fun on your own, then that’s perfectly fine the way it is. 

If they don’t want to try/play JP KHUX even after knowing the differences, there’s little anyone can do about it, and it’s their choice.

There’s a whole lot more I could say about this, but I’ll stop here. 

I don’t know if you just point it out, or if you’re actively persuading, or if you’re part of the group who’s actively advertising.

I don’t mind what you choose to do, that’s your responsibility too. 

But you did hint that the feedback you got impacted you negatively, which means you’ll want to rethink your actions– not because you have been wrong (or depending on how you went about it, maybe you approach was, I cannot say) but because your advice has been ignored or you’ve been called out for advertising.

( I’m aware that my phrasing may give you the wrong idea, so I’ll repeat: I’m not making assumptions about you. This is why I include multiple scenarios. I don’t know what type of person you are or how you tried to approach those players. You know who you are and how you approached them, so you know exactly how it went. You don’t owe me that explanation and I don’t need you do go into detail– you can figure out where to go from here. But again, my advice in a tldr: if it causes you so much grief and frustration, maybe it’s better to focus on having fun and being a bit more picky with who you try to help out. )

–Salt

[cryinghole-blog]

Xav: I'll talk to you on Steam but won't join tipchat again

Chinye: whats wrong

Xav: I dunno

Xav: I'm yelling a lot

Xav: Keep on changing what I want to do

Xav: Keep on fidgeting

Xav: So I'll talk after this shower

Chinye: ok

Chinye: i hope u feel better

Chinye: is something about tipchat bothering u?

Chinye: something i said?

Xav: No, it's me

Xav: I got upset in the shower. When I'm calmed down I'll tell you

Chinye: can i help?

Xav: I just need to unload on you

Xav: Sorry in advanced

Chinye: ok

Xav: Just here's the jist

Xav: I'm lazy

Chinye: lazy?

Chinye: i dont really get that impression with you

Chinye: did you forget to do something?

Xav: okay im back on

Xav: this might take a while

Xav: because i just have a horrible feeling in my gut

Xav: but the main reason why i am in my current life circumstance is that I'm lazy

Xav: 2010, first year of high school

Xav: everything was okay besides friend

Xav: 2011

Xav: i couldn't develop a study strategy

Xav: because I didn't feel like it

Xav: and pushed away the worries by either talking to people, playing games, watching things, etc.

Xav: this manifested

Xav: i started to not ask for help

Xav: because I didn't want to

Xav: and it was so much effort

Xav: this started spilling into everything

Xav: in life

Xav: today

Xav: i didn't eat breakfast

Xav: because i didn't want to

Xav: i didn't walk peggy

Xav: because i didn't want to

Xav: didn't do washing, the dishes, clean up

Xav: didn't go outside

Xav: it goes into video games

Xav: i can have more fun in Granblue if I looked up what I should do next and grind

Xav: but I'm lazy

Xav: and don't want to put in effort

Xav: so I just whine about my current situation

Xav: i would put more effort into trying to rebuild friendships

Xav: but I'm lazy

Xav: t would require too much effort

Xav: and make me anxious

Xav: and runin mty day

Xav: so I resort to staying inside

Xav: I was in the shwower

Xav: I was too lazy to get out

Xav: i just let the water envelop me

Xav: Like a wet and slippery cocoon

Xav: I don't try to develop new hobbies

Xav: Because that requires me to fail first to improve

Chinye: you sound like me

Xav: and I don't want to do that

Xav: I am too lazy to get up

Chinye: thats exactly how i am

Xav: too lazy to get dressed

Xav: too lazy to look for a job

Xav: too lazy to seek help from free government services

Xav: too lazy to tell mum and dad my real inner problems

Xav: too lazy to even start a conversation with my surviving friends

Xav: too lazy to become alive

Xav: too lazy to defend myself

Xav: i just take each blow

Xav: too lazy to do these stretches which will stop me feeling pain

Xav: too lazy to stop any of this happening

Xav: too lazy to believe in myself

Chinye: do you have anything that motivates you

Xav: i dunno

Xav: i just wanna go to sleep

Xav: because im too lazy to figure out what to do for the rest of the day

Xav: Too lazy to even try to find someone to fuck the pain away

Xav: I'm too lazy to find out if I even like dick

Xav: I've just masturbated to some dumb doujins online

Xav: had one boyfriend

Xav: who hadn't even transitioned yt

Xav: and i label myself as bi/pan

Xav: too lazy to get to the root of the problem

Xav: too lazy to get better at video games

Xav: doesn't that just make your skin crawl?

Xav: i want to do all these things

Xav: but this little thing in my head just makes me this walking zombie

Chinye: it doesnt really make it crawl but it makes me lock up a bit

Chinye: because i have exactly the same problem

Chinye: no motivation to do anything

Chinye: too lazy to fix my problems

Xav: i can feel my energy leak out

Chinye: I dont know what to say about it

Xav: all the positivity

Chinye: cause like im exactly the same

Xav: i want to cut off my limbs

Chinye: I wish there was a magic fix

Chinye: :(

Xav: and im too lazy to stop talking and think about your feelings

Chinye: you dont need to stop

Xav: i just keep on going

Xav: and impede negativity onto you

Chinye: negativity doesn't bother me

Chinye: I can handle it

Xav: even though i know how you feel because i've been in your spot so many times

Chinye: I just am thinking about it

Chinye: I dont know how to solve problems i have myself

Chinye: its good to know im not alone though

Xav: i'm too lazy to tell people what they say makes me feel horrible but i bottle it up and struggle to help them but all i can do is hit these plastic objects

Chinye: I thought other people just had motivation to do things

Chinye: and that things were just harder for me

Xav: which then sends an impulse to wiring then goes through all of these devices

Xav: to someone else

Chinye: Do i make you feel bad?

Chinye: with anything i say?

Chinye: I can stop dumping emotional stuff on you

Xav: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mWotngJBcc

Xav: i can't stop talking to you though

Xav: because then you will have to talk to someone else

Xav: and gothrough the same process

Chinye: I can keep it in

Chinye: and deal with it myself

Chinye: like should've done in the first place

Xav: you;'ll hurt yourself in the

Xav: process

Chinye: i'm sorry i've been dumping stuff on you

Chinye: I wont anymore

Xav: no

Chinye: thanks for all the help so far though

Xav: i want to be strong

Xav: i want to be strong for you

Xav: but i'm just so squishy

Xav: and take everything to heart

Chinye: i told you before

Chinye: i can handle it myself

Xav: i dont want you to be in pain

Chinye: i just got weak

Chinye: and let it fall on someone else

Chinye: dont worry about it anymore

Xav: i failed

Chinye: how?

Chinye: we're still gonna hang out

Chinye: and talk

Chinye: just not about sad stuff

Chinye: unless you need help

Chinye: maybe it'd be good to get some sleep though

Chinye: you said you were tired

Chinye: and i dont want you ot be upset

Xav: i donm't know

Xav: do we even have anything else to talk about?

Chinye: ofc we do

Chinye: are u joking

Chinye: i think were really good friend

Chinye: s

Chinye: we can talk about games

Chinye: and shows

Chinye: and things going on in discord

Xav: every day i just feel weaker and weaker

Xav: yesterday was fine

Xav: i don';t know why

Xav: everything felt different

Xav: but just

Xav: thinking of anything

Chinye: its my fault

Xav: makes me collapse

Chinye: you have been dealing with other peoples problems

Xav: no

Chinye: in addition to your own

Chinye: ofc its gonna be hard

Xav: please no

Chinye: ???

Xav: i don't wnat it ot be like this

Chinye: what to be like what

Chinye: im confused sorry

Xav: i dunno

Chinye: oh ok well

Chinye: if you wanna play games

Chinye: or anything

Chinye: let me know

Chinye: get some rest tho

Chinye: noob

Xav: i want to be stronger for you

Xav: for everyone

Chinye: then get there

Chinye: prepare yourself

Chinye: but that doesnt mean you gotta deal with everything at once

Xav: i want this feeling in my chest to go away

Chinye: sleep

Xav: it's 4:30 pm

Chinye: its the best way to get rid of feeling like that

Xav: it will ruin my day

Chinye: listen to music?

Chinye: im not sure

Xav: none of my music is particularly good at making me feel better

Chinye: you could finish koboyashi

Xav: i watch it with friends

Chinye: watch an anime from my list

Chinye: anything 8 and above is good

Xav: im too lazy to do anything new

Chinye: have you seen no.6?

Chinye: its shonnen ai

Chinye: but its really lite

Chinye: and good

Chinye: im thinking about going to sleep

Chinye: im really tired

Chinye: despite sleeping a bunch

Xav: okay

Chinye: not sure yet

Xav: dont ruin your sleep schedule this weekend

Xav: i want you to go to work on monday

Chinye: thanks dad

Chinye: :P

Xav: sorry, just can't think of anything funny atm

Chinye: lol you dont have to

Chinye: go eat a sanger

Chinye: or whatever u called them

Xav: i just feel frail and stale

Chinye: stale?

Chinye: you are a really nice person

Chinye: and i really think you brighten people around you

Chinye: a mood booster

Xav: it;s not enough

Chinye: its some though

Chinye: better than being someone who brings others down

Chinye: if everyone was like that

Chinye: things would be great

Xav: i;m going to be a pig and order food now

Chinye: wish i did that

Chinye: the sub i had when i woke up was gross

Chinye: lol

Xav: hoping mum won't look at the credit card bill

Xav: she was suggesting i make something for myself

Xav: but im just so weak

Xav: i didn't even make that sandwich i said i was going to make

Chinye: want me to paypal u money

Xav: no

Chinye: so u can order food

Chinye: and u just pay me back somehow

Xav: somehow will be in 2 years

Xav: maybe more

Chinye: it doesnt have to be with money n

Chinye: nerd

Xav: i've given you all i have

Chinye: what would food even cost

Chinye: like $20?

Xav: this place's minimum order is $20

Xav: the HSP was 13.50

Chinye: just let me know if u want me to

Chinye: and i'll paypal u it

Xav: i got a milkshake but it was shit

Chinye: you dont even have to give back

Xav: i can't let you do that

Chinye: i dont want you to get yelled at

Xav: Mum doesn't yell

Chinye: sorry

Chinye: shamed at

Xav: i can deal with it

Chinye: you dont have to if u let me help

Chinye: but ok

Chinye: its up to you

Xav: i just can't sorry

Chinye: ok...