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xveenusx · 10 months ago

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Wanted

Paring(s): JJ maybank x fem!reader

Summary: in a world where someone had everything, she still got treated like she was nothing. all she wanted was to be wanted.

Authors note: I wanted this piece piece to be as real as possible. It's not simple, its messy. We've all gone back to that one person we know we shouldn't just because being alone seemed worse. Also she gets absolutely railed so that helps. So please be kind to her lmfao.

Rating: smut, 18+, mdni, ANGST

Song rec: making the bed by olivia rodrigo

Part 1: Guilty

Bored.

I was so incredibly bored. I leaned against the built in bar as I watched Topper and Kelce take body shots off some tourists they invited. The loud bass of the music did little to tune out the annoying voice of Amy Culpo, who stood next to me, and rattled on about my mother’s latest line.

“I mean, it’s absolutely stunning.” I know it is. I was there when she designed it. “Any chance you have tickets to her next show?”

Ah, there it was. The brutal truth he reminded me of all those months ago. Every interaction was a strategic move to climbing the next prong on the social ladder. Everyone always wanted something.

I used to fight that notion. I thought I was better than them because I actually cared about other people. My wealth did not define me nor how I treated other people, but despite every effort I made both before and after him, I realized none of it mattered.

I couldn’t escape my wealth. It was permanently engraved into my body and no matter how hard I tried to scrub, it wouldn’t go away. I’ve now fully embraced that ugly truth and decided that I might as well use it to my advantage. I almost always had something that others wanted and I just had to figure out what they were willing to give. I didn’t need any more money, but there were things that were far more valuable. Favors, tickets to the hottest openings, plane rides. Since everyone already saw me as a spoiled little rich girl, I might as well play the part.

‘Depends. Are those last season MIU MIU?” I asked, tossing a look at the shoes on her feet.

“There from the season before-“ I pulled a face at her words. Before last season? I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything last season let alone the season before.

“Oh honey, if those are two seasons old, then I highly doubt you have anything I want.” The shocked look on her face dulled the aching pain that seemed to permanently reside in my chest.

“I can charter a plane-“

I raised my hand to silence her. “You don’t have your own?”

What was she even doing here?

This was a new little project of mine. I tossed away all those societal niceties that did little for me in the end. I still couldn’t get anyone to stay. This was much more fun. You’d be surprised by how much stuff you could get away with if you cut out all the bullshit.

Amy’s cheeks flushed red and maybe once I’d have felt bad or be disgusted by how I was treating her but I was numb. I realized nothing really mattered. Whether I was nice or rude, people all wanted the same things from me. At least this way, I could armor myself.

“There’s my pretty girl.” Warm hands curled around my waist, tugging me against a hard body.

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't his anything, Rafe knew that but he’s always had a flare for the dramatics. Tom Ford’s Noir de Noir filled my nose as I swatted at his hands, hands that I’ve grown quite familiar with.

“You left me.” I shot him a bratty look, one he met head on with a smile. Amy still stood there awkwardly, clearing her throat in an obvious attempt to gain my attention.

I turned around in Rafe’s arms, debating my next move. Almost immediately his chin came to rest on the top of my head while his arms curled around my front.

My eyes shot one last distasteful look at her outfit, before tossing out my arm in the opposite direction. “Shoo.”

She huffed before stomping away but not before shooting me one final glare. A look that would have made me cry before, but now it simply dinged off the impenetrable armor I’ve suited myself with.

“I was hoping it’d build character, but clearly that didn’t work.” I could hear the smile in his words as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head.

“The entire conversation was dull. She didn’t even have a jet, plus her shoes were two seasons ago.” I shuddered in disgust. Could never be me.

Rafe clutched his chest in mock disgust,”Not two seasons.”

I let out a huff, my chest going warm at the teasing glint in his eye.

There was no spark. There were no butterflies. Just familiarity and warmth. It was safe. We both knew what this was and expected nothing more. For now, we were just having fun. Despite the fact that I spent most nights at his place and rarely found myself without him.

I’ve found somewhat of a friend in Rafe. Someone to share the burden of being from a family like ours. He understood me. He enjoyed shiny things just as I did.

We spent a lot of our time going to the mainland because the idea of running into him still sent me to my knees. This was a small island. One that he was spending all his time running around with her instead of me. Rafe never said a word about it, never mentioned his sister or her pogue friends. And for that, maybe I do love him a little.

“You make fun of me now, but you’d still be wearing polo shirts and plaid shorts if it weren’t for me.” My hands smooth down the front of his linen light blue shirt, the first several buttons open paired with some black Gucci slacks and a black belt from Dolce & Gabbana. He no longer looked like a frat douche but a member of upper class society.

The same can’t be said about his friends.

“C’mon. Top and Kelce want us over there.” Rafe grasped my hand and tugged me in the direction of drunken yells. I pursed my lips but trudged behind him. The idea of being thrown up on was less than appealing, but being by myself was even less appealing.

“Hey guys.” Rafe nodded at them, taking a seat on the adjacent couch, a table with all sorts of drugs littered on it in between them.

The pair of them were obliterated, both their pupils blown wide and their speech slurred. That didn’t stop them from tossing me a sloppy grin and shouting a greeting.

The spot next to Rafe was vacant but on the other end was a couple gnawing each other's faces off that had me scrunching my nose up in disgust. He surely didn’t expect me to sit next to that?

He didn’t even bat an eye, instead Rafe patted his lap, tugging at my hand to sit down. “Wanna drink, baby?”

I nodded, deciding to once again indulge. It was better than feeling that stabbing pain that burned in my chest. It was a horrible solution but one that Rafe always supported, in fact he often took part in self-destructing with me. We were done with trying to be perfect for parents who couldn’t give less of a fuck.

A red solo cup with a familiar yellow concoction was waved in front of me. The pungent scent of tequila burned my nose and I shot him a secret smile. Rafe’s blue eyes narrowed in on me, glued on my smile before he shook his head in amusement.

“That’s the kinda night we’re going for?” He asked, his hand slowly gripping my thigh.

“Unless you don’t want to?” I sighed dramatically, pushing his dark blonde strands back from his face, something I knew he loved.

“If I ever say no to that question, feel free to shoot me.”

A giggle escaped my lips as I tapped my cup against his before bringing it to my lips, tilting my head back and zeroing it out.

The tequila left a burning trail down my stomach that I welcomed. It meant I was one step closer to not feeling anything at all.

“Another?” Rafe’s eyes pointed at my now empty cup and I nodded.

Being responsible was so overrated.

Lifting his hand up, almost immediately two younger boys, about 16, appear. Rafe pointed at me, muttering something before the pair nodded and took off.

I raised my eyebrow at him, confused.

He just shrugged, leaning forward to touch the golden pendant that hung from my neck. “I promised them tickets to the Charleston basketball game if they did whatever I said.”

“Why?”

“I was bored,” He hummed in response,”This is new, it’s pretty..”

I smiled back at him, the very picture of nonchalance, before replying,”Thank you. You bought it for me.”

His ocean eyes rested on me, the infatuation clear as day that had my stomach clenching. “Course I did. I have great taste.”

Rafe gave me his card about two months ago, not that I needed it, but he enjoyed taking care of me and I didnt mind. Plus, whenever he made me mad, I made sure to run the bill up, hoping for some type of reaction but it only left him amused.

Nerves gnawed at my stomach at the intense eye contact. Maybe the lines have blurred slightly. Clearing my throat to try and break the tension, I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “Want to see what else you bought me?”

“Enlighten me.”

I flashed him my freshly manicured nails, “What do you think?”

Rafe caught my hand, a half smile painted on his face, and kissed it. “Is that passion pink?”

“It’s actually bubblegum blush.”

“Beautiful, baby. I love it.” His words burned into my chest.

It was hard to describe. His approval had butterflies thrumming in my stomach. Maybe it was because we were stuck in similar situations, but his approval suddenly meant something to me. Being with him meant I wasn’t alone.

“You know we’re right here, right?” Topper's voice cut through the tension and I let out a laugh, relieved to look away.

“Fuck off.” Rafe laughed, regaining his composure as well.

Topper leaned forward holding out a black AMEX for me to take. My eyes paused on the card before shooting him a flat look.

“Are you kidding?”

Topper gave me a blank look, not a thought behind those eyes.

I rolled my eyes and stuck my nose up in mock outrage. “Rafe does it for me.”

The annoyed look on Topper’s face sent a thrill through my body. He was the easiest to rile up and Rafe knew it as he hid his chuckle with a quick cough.

The hand on my bare thigh slowly drew circles, the action almost unconscious, which had my brain blanking. It was a relief to not think. To not remember. To not feel.

“Are your hands broken?”

“No. I’m too pretty.” I shrugged, batting my lashes at him.

Topper openly scowled at me, his eyes dropping to where Rafe’s hands held me tightly. “What happened to the nice little girl who cried about everything?”

“Lay off.” Rafe snipped, leaning forward and snatching the AMEX out of his hand. His movements were quick and precise, with ease that only came with experience.

He separated the coke into three lines, one for me and two for him, just like always.

Bending over, I snorted the line quickly. Turning to hand Rafe the hundred dollar bill, his fingers dust off any remaining powder off my nose, before he bent over and did the same.

I leaned back into Rafe, the mixture of the tequila and the sting of the coke had me feeling sublime. It was a perfect balance. The alcohol got me warm and buzzed while the coke kept me awake and alert, an upper and a downer, a perfect description for every emotion in my body.

“I grew up.”

Topper hummed. “You certainly did.”

For the next hour, my mind never drifted to him. I enjoyed having thoughts that were my own, that didn’t revolve around him. Instead, my thoughts focused on the man below me. Rafe was always touching me. Even more so than usual, his hand never left my body once. If I let go of his hand to reach for my drink, he’s just moved it to my thigh. It was almost possessive which was odd, we didn’t do possessive.

Every couple moments, he’d pause in the middle of a conversation to press small kisses anywhere his lips could reach. It seemed performative, but I just couldn’t prove it.

“You’re thinking too hard.” His hot breath hot against the shell of my ear.

I said nothing for a moment before licking my lips and muttering,”Are you okay? You seem more clingy than usual?”

He just nodded, pulling me to his hard chest, his eyes darting to the side. “I just like having you with me.”

The sentiment was sweet and my heart tugged at his words. But, I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was missing something. “I like having you with me too.” I allowed myself to give him a sliver of vulnerability, something I’ve avoided like plague, because it was true. He made living just a bit easier.

My head began to spin as I felt the lines of our odd friendship begin to blur. I knew neither of us would admit the sudden shift but it was there. I could tell with each lingering gaze and those secret touches. Maybe there was something here. I just had to give in.

“I’m glad you came to your senses,” He responded, but once again his eyes are not on mine but darting around me.

“What does that have to do with anything?” My voice comes out hushed, hoping it would get him to lower his voice.

My smile from his previous confession dimmed. Nerves slowly began to surface as I tried to read between the lines.

“You do belong with me, at least that's what you scream every night, isn’t that right baby?” He was boasting, loud enough to have his boys give him lame-ass high fives.

The small burst of happiness curdled like old milk in my stomach. I wasn’t a prude, not by a long shot, but I was a private person. Rafe knew this and he was still flaunting our private moments in a way that made me feel dirty.

“Stop talking about me like that.” I said, “What’s gotten into you?”

I felt Rafe go rigid under me. Frowning, I tilted my head back to make sure he was alright but his eyes were glued ahead.

“Rafe, I’m here for my stuff. Where did you say you put it again?”

My head turned and my stomach did a backflip. Sarah stood at the entrance of the room, looking immensely uncomfortable.

John B stood behind her, his big brown puppy-like eyes widened at the sight of me on Rafe’s lap. Or maybe it was because of the coke laid out in front of me?

But wherever he was, JJ wasn’t far behind. John B whispered something in Sarah’s ear, her eyes jumped to me for a split second before returning to his. She nodded and John B made a beeline for the other room.

I let out a choked laugh. I’m sure he was going to report back to his little lap dog. What were they even doing here in the first place? It’s not like Rafe knew-

My brain clicked into place. The constant need to touch me and the over the top PDA was because he was here. Rafe knew he was here and wanted to rub it in his face.

Rafe’s words were never for me. They were for him.

None of this was real. Not the endearing names, not the proclamations of affection. An ice bucket of realization poured over me and I felt like a fool. A fool for thinking that somebody else could want me, could maybe even love me.

Fuck this. Fuck both of them.

“You knew.” I accused, shoving his hands off of my body.

Rafe said nothing, but the flicker in his eyes gave him away. I wasn’t safe with him either. Embarrassment oozed into me, the feeling painstakingly familiar. We agreed to never make each other feel this way since our parents did it enough, but he did it to me.

Don’t think. Don’t feel.

Snatching the cup out of his hand, I forced it down, gulp by gulp, wincing at the burn. Straight tequila. “Babe-“

“Shut up.” I hissed, moving off his lap and shoving Topper to move over. Everyone always wanted something from me.

They never just wanted me.

Maybe I was defective. I had to be.

JJ didn’t love me when I was me. When I cared about other people and sacrificed pieces of my happiness for them.

Rafe didn’t love me now. When I was a spoiled brat who treated everyone like a transaction.

It didn’t matter if I was nice or a total raging bitch. Either way, I couldn't get anyone to love me.

I was just the stepping stone they used before they found the person they really wanted to be with. I was just there to make them feel good about themselves. For them to take and take just to toss me aside when they were done. Leaving me a shell of a person with no one, not even myself.

I guess, I was impossible to love.

“Line it up, Topper.”

“Can I at least get a please?”

“Be lucky that I’m even talking to you.”

Topper scoffed but did what I asked, lining up two lines of chalky white powder. “There you go, princess:”

A rolled hundred dollar bill was held out in front of me. Plucking it out of his fingers. I bent over the table. Don’t think. Don’t feel.

Dragging the cylinder bill down the crystal snow powder I’ve grown to love, I inhaled deeply. The chemicals flowing through the nose. I could practically feel the coke dissolving into my bloodstream, my body vibrating in response.

Dropping the bill on the table, I tilt my head back, begging my brain to shut off. I closed my eyes and chose to focus on the beat of the music that had my heart thrumming in my chest.

Then it happened.

All the air in the room was sucked up. The hair behind my neck stood up and my body suddenly awakened in a way it hadn’t in months.

My body recognized him before my brain did. The moment I opened my eyes, his eyes clashed with mine.

JJ.

It was like seeing him for the first time, a memory I thought I would never get the chance to feel again.

Heavy set blonde brows framed his bright blue eyes beautifully, the strong cut jaw that was currently clenched, and his lips soft and pouty, tightly pressed in a flat line. This face, his beautiful face, wouldn’t be complete without some mark. A bruise, a soft purple and yellow hue, decorated his cheek bone. His bottom lip busted.

He was so beautiful.

My body reacted before my brain could follow. I stood up quickly, too quickly that the blood rushed to my head and the room seemed to spin.

God, he was beautiful. And I fucking hated him for it. He was supposed to be like me, a complete and total mess, but instead, he looked the same, even better actually.

That thought alone had me ready to jump off the balcony.

My movements were clumsy and I drunkenly stumbled while standing still, his eyes clocking that in seconds.

Despite the loud music, I noticed the silence coming from the couch.

My eyes jumped to Rafe. All the laughter around us died off and everyone was exchanging nervous looks. It didn’t take a genius to read the room and the situation I’ve somehow managed to put myself in.

Blue eyes flickered between the two of us. It cracked my chest open wide and opened the floodgates I’ve been trying so hard to keep closed.

The crushing inescapable weight of shame hit me first. I was plastered, obviously so, and high as a kite. The evidence of what I’d been doing displayed out in front of me like a flashing sign. And I was fucking the one guy he hated.

It was unreasonable, I know. He left me and even pushed me in the direction of the one guy he hated and yet, I was the one feeling bad. He hasn’t even opened his mouth yet and it’s been turned onto me. But love never makes sense. It made the most sane people lose every coherent thought, I was the prime example.

“You should probably go, bro.” Rafe said, his tone was anything but.

He moved from his spot on the couch and stopped beside me. Rafe shoved a hand in one pocket while the other reached for mine, but I folded my arms across my chest. Mostly because I was mad at him, but a part of me didn’t want JJ seeing that.

JJ didn’t spare him a second glance.

He had on a dark blue short sleeve button down shirt with black cargos and chunky black boots on his feet. A backwards red hat settled nicely on the blonde mass of wavy hair and his shark necklace hanging against the exposed part of his chest.

It was so JJ. All of it, right down to the colorful bracelets that littered his wrists.

A hand grasped my chin and tilted up. I held my breath. His fingers slid along my jaw and he rubbed his thumb over the skin. His eyes felt like lasers, honing in on every detail of my face.

I swallowed audibly. JJ leaned in closer, bringing his height down to mine. His thumb brushed a soft stroke below my nose while his lips brushed against my ear.

“You had a little something on your nose.”

JJ let go of my face, his expression hard. Then he brushed past me, leaving a gaping wound in his wake.

Tears burned behind my closed eyes. He didn’t need to say it because I already knew what he was thinking. Sure, JJ smoked some weed but he never touched any of the hard stuff, not wanting to pick up the same habits as his dad. Hard drugs were a hard limit for him and he found me snorting several lines of it.

I went and became the very thing he hated, just like he wanted. It didn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would. Instead, I felt like I lost another piece of myself.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said to Rafe, finally gathering the courage to open my eyes.

He shuffled beside me. “Him being here wasn’t going to change anything.”

We both knew that was a lie.

“It��s him, Rafe. It changes everything for me.”

Rafe scoffed and shook his head. “You’re really going to try and go back to that?”

“I’m not saying that-” I spluttered out, outraged as his voice continued to carry across the room.

“He didn’t want you.”

People around us began to whisper, their heads huddled together with their phones out. Wet hot tears threatened to fall as the control I took months to master began to unravel.

“Yeah, well you don’t either.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Before he got here, everything was perfect.”

“I’m not stupid. You think I didn’t notice what you were doing? That wasn’t for us, that was for him.”

“I didn't mean for you to think I was using you-“

I gripped his chin, and pulled his face down to my height, my eyes brimming with angry tears. “You don’t use me. I use you.” I shoved his face back, needing to collect my composure.

Everyone’s eyes were on us and I was desperate to save face. It was the only thing I had left.

“Get the fucking picture?”

“Crystal clear.” He responded through gritted teeth, his eyes hard.

“If you want a whore, go buy one.”

Rafe cleared his throat, his face iced over. “I thought that’s what I was already doing.”

I stood there for a moment, not understanding what I did to deserve to be treated like this by not one man but two. I felt like an idiot. Like the stupidest fucking person on this god forsaken planet.

Two hours ago, I thought that maybe Rafe had feelings for me and played with the idea of exploring that with him. And now, I was a gold digging whore.

I felt another piece of my heart break off, mourning the loss of the only friendship I really had.

Pressing my hair down with my hands, I look down to fix my dress, swallowing as I went, hoping to pull myself together and buy some time.

“I’m glad to hear how little you think of me.” I sent him a sad smile,” I guess I’m keeping up with everyone’s expectations.”

I stepped around him, heading to the direction of the bar, the adrenaline from all the excitement having effectively killed my buzz.

Staring at the bottles of liquor on the counter had me frowning, all being some bottom shelf brand I’ve never heard of. I moved around the bar to the cabinets behind it, looking for the good tequila. It was the least Rafe could do seeing as though he just blew up whatever the fuck we were doing.

Spotting the only tequila I drank, I grabbed the entire handle. Twisting the top off, I tossed it aside carelessly before taking a healthy swig. Then another. And another.

I stumbled into another room, shoving people out of my way. I ignored the angry shouts because I was way past the point of caring. I just-I just wanted to see him.

As if someone heard my thoughts, I spotted JJ leaning against a wall with a lit joint dangled between his fingers and a beer in the other.

He had so much charisma, it demanded the attention of the room. People gravitated towards him all the time but he refused to see himself that way.

Even now, he stood surrounded by several people, including a girl who was too close for my liking, and they were hanging onto every word. All of their bodies angled towards him, nodding along. The people around them curiously moving in to hear more of the story that had so many of them laughing.

It was almost ironic. It was the point I was trying to prove all those months ago. Kooks vs. Pouges was bullshit. Because, right now JJ is telling a story to a bunch of Kooks who were eating it right up. Neither parties cared about their status, they just wanted to socialize and have fun.

Why couldn’t he see that?

The organ in my chest began to flutter, the butterflies erupting in my stomach at his nearness. Panic began to set in. I thought I’d pushed it all down.

All it took was seeing him. Just once. For the last couple months of progress to be thrown out the window. I made sure to not feel anything anymore, because the alternative destroyed me. And yet, there he stood, looking like every dream I’ve ever had, and completely disarming my very being with one look.

I never wanted to feel that way again. My heart was open and my soul was bared, but I was naive. I thought love was supposed to be empowering. But really, it was poison. It slowly entered your bloodstream, coating every vein before slowly taking over every organ. It leaked into your brain and made you lose all common sense. The poison tricked you into thinking that certain treatment was okay because at least they were here. At least, they still wanted to be with you because they love you, right?

But eventually, like all things lacking an antidote, it began to cut off your oxygen. It curled around your lungs and squeezed until you gasped for breath with tears staining your face. It didn’t matter how much you screamed and shouted, nothing came out. The last organ it takes over is your heart. That silly little organ who was so trusting begins to pump faster, desperately trying to get that oxygen to your brain, because maybe then you’ll finally be able to think clearly. But in the end, it slows down. Each pump is slower than the last until finally it comes to a stop. The heart broke.

It’s the closest thing to dying I’ve ever experienced.

It was like drowning on dry land.

His words did not leave me dented, but destroyed.

I lost my sense of myself. I lost my identity. I put on a performance every time I left my house, wanting to see just how far I could get away with treating people the same way they treat me.

At first it didn’t feel good, but now I didn’t feel anything at all. Or so I thought until I saw him again. And I just want to see that he was doing okay and maybe, if I can admit it, to see if he still loved me, however little that may be.

I watched from my spot on the other side of the room as the crowd began to disperse, leaving JJ with some blonde. I vaguely recognized her from a shoot for one of my mom’s brands. I believe her parents worked in the fashion industry as well. Which would have been fine, had she not said something that had him give her one of those rare smiles, the ones he used to give me in private.

Nausea roiled in my stomach, maybe it was all the tequila or maybe it was seeing him smile at someone else when all I wanted was for him to smile at me.

She leaned into him, a coy smile played her lips, running her fingers down the shirt I bought him, which basically made it mine. And I hated when people touched my things.

The mix of tequila and coke emboldened me. I found my feet moving in their direction before I could stop myself.

“I wouldn't waste your time.” I could not get myself to stop talking.

“Why’s that?” The blonde’s eyes narrowed, her cheaply manicured hand resting on JJ’s bicep.

“JJ doesn’t go for kooks or so I’ve been told.”

“Maybe he just didn’t go for you.” Oh, how cute.

“Oh honey,” I sighed dramatically and took one step towards her, tilting my head to the side, dragging my eyes up her body, in obvious distaste. “Are you new here?”

“Well, yeah but-“ She tried to explain.

Clearly, she needed a run through on how the social ladder worked here. I was at the top and everyone else was at the bottom.

“Your mom works for some brand from Paris right?” I watched as her eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“She does. We moved here because she’s doing a collab with-“

“With my mom.”

“So I suggest you take your hand off of him,” I smiled on cue, my tone dipped in sugar before batting my eyelashes at her innocently,” Unless you want her blacklisted?”

I could see her debating what to do. She didn’t know if I was bluffing but she'd learn rather quickly just how far I was willing to go.

“Hmm, cute shoes.” I hummed, “Chanel?”

She nodded, apprehension on her face.

“Won’t be able to buy those anymore if your mom doesn’t have a job.”

Her hand fell and satisfaction settled into my like molten lava. “You can go now.”

The blonde pursed her lips and stalked off, leaving me alone with JJ. “Trying a new type”

“And what type would that be?”

“Desperate.”

JJ tipped his mouth, saluting me before taking a sip of his drink. His eyes already glazed over from the joint in his hand.

“A thank you would be nice?” I muttered, taking another pull from my tequila. I couldn’t talk to him sober or I’d lose my nerve.

“A thank you?” He appeared almost amused, adjusting his red hat.

“Yeah, I just saved you.”

“I didn't realize I needed saving.”

“Self-preservation was never really your strong suit was it?”

JJ laughed, his eyes straying to the bottle cradled in my arms. “I could say the same thing, Princess.”

Fuck him for calling me that. So what, I’ve learned to indulge just a little. It made everything in my life a little more manageable.

“It’s called having fun, JJ.” Pouting as he snatched the bottle from arms just as I went to take another shot. “Since when did you become the responsible one?”

JJ leveled me with an unamused stare.

I huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of my face. “Tough crowd.”

JJ snorted, pushing the leaves of a nearby plant back before dumping the remaining tequila. My mouth dropped open as he wasted every last drop of my liquid courage.

How the hell was I going to talk to him now?

I pursed my lips, “That was mean.”

“I’m doing what your boyfriend should have done an hour ago.” His gaze fixed on my face, the intense stare causing my cheeks to turn red. God, would he stop staring at me?

“He doesn’t tell me what to do.”

“Then he shouldn’t have left you alone.” His tone laced with annoyance, “You have all these fuckers staring at you and you’re wasted.”

I tilted my head back to stare up at him, the annoyance I knew came from a place of panic. That was just how JJ was wired.

“So you’re in love with me?” Someone come arrest me, because I cannot keep my mouth closed.

JJ shook his head clearly fighting back a smile. “You’re so crazy.”

“What else could that mean?” I asked truthfully and I knew I had a love struck smile on my face. One that I’ve only given to one man in my life and he stood in front of me.

I just wanted to be near him. I wanted to hear his laugh and see him smile.

His face softened at my words. “Are you okay? Does he take care of you?”

“Of course, I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

“Only one of us is fucking loaded.”

I rolled my eyes and plucked the joint from his fingers. “Correct me if I’m wrong, and we both know I rarely am, are you not high too?”

“Not from cocaine.”

“Already back to judging so soon?” I mused, taking a hit off the joint, the familiar stinging sensation wrapped around my lungs and squeezed. “Careful, I might think you care.”

Kill me now. Thank god, he took away the tequila.

“Who said I ever stopped?” My heart lurched in my throat.

I blew the smoke out slowly, my fogged up brain rushing to keep up with his words.

Someone stumbled in front of me, slamming into my shoulder sending me flying forward into JJ’s arms. Something cold and wet splattered onto me, the bitter liquid dripping down my legs.

“Are you blind?” I shouted, shoving another drunk party goer off me. Looked like a tourist.

She held her hands up in apology.

“I’m so sorry. Here, let me help.” To my absolute horror, this fucking tourist used a napkin and went to scrub the stain. Are these people animals? This was custom versace.

“Stop!” My cheeks flushed, from the weed or from my constant streak of bad luck. “Clearly, you’ve never owned anything worth keeping but this is Versace, you dick.”

I needed to go home before I burned this entire house down.

“Is that how you talk to people now?”

I let out a loud groan. “Oh fuck off, JJ.”

I shoved him away from me, before grabbing the skirt of my dress and heading into the nearest bathroom, which just so happened to be Rafe’s.

In reality, I just needed to get away from him. I needed my hands to be busy so that I couldn't grab his face and kiss him. Because I really wanted to do that.

The sound of footsteps have my eyes widening in panic as I take in my ruined dress. All because of that blonde asshole next to me, if he hadn’t showed up, I’d still have my tequila and my sanity.

“I wanted to talk.”

I made a noise at the back of my throat. That didn’t sound like JJ at all.

“Fine, whatever. Close the door.” I didn’t need a million other people to see me lose my shit. I was already at my quota for the day.

Jj stared at me with a confused look. “Close the door.” I nearly shout as the footsteps get closer but he moves just as quickly and slammed it shut, putting the lock in place.

“I just got this piece too.” I grumbled, huffing at the stained skirt. It was the Medusa 95’ Cut Out Mini dress in a stunning pastel pink. And now ruined with a beer stain from that horrible girl outside.

“I remember this one.” JJ spoke from behind me. Of course he did. He remembered everything I bought.

He always demanded fashion shows after all my shopping trips. He knew nothing about clothes but he always paid attention to me. He used to sit for hours while I prattled on and on about clothes.

“Unzip me?”

“I’m sorry?” He choked out, setting his beer down.

“I need to clean it before it stains. Unzip me.”

In hindsight, I was goading him. I wanted to see what he would do. I could tell he was already on edge since seeing me with Rafe. I wondered what a little push would do.

Neither of us moved for a beat. JJ puffed out a breath from his cheeks before he walked toward me slowly. I remained stock still, watching his every move in the mirror. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.”

My heart fluttered at his nearness. Something I wanted since the minute he turned around and left. Home, I wanted my home back.

I jumped up at the feel of his warm breath against the back of my neck, goosebumps rising instantly. The tug of the zipper had me swallowing the lump in my throat. His other finger caressing every inch of skin, the zipper surrendered.

The sound of the zipper stopped but he never dropped his hand. Instead, I watched as JJ swallowed before lifting his head, those storming blue eyes connecting with mine in the mirror.

I stood on my Magda Butrym Appliquéd satin sandals and a flimsy pair of tiny panties.

“I feel like this is a test.” I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“Is it?” I mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“Yeah and I’m failing.”

The pads of his thumb brushed along my bottom lip, dragging it down slowly. My lips parted as a soft whimper escaped.

“You’re still so beautiful, it hurts.” He murmured, almost angry with the revelation.

Blistering hot satisfaction dripped over me.

JJ’s other hand grazed my bare back, the contact immediately chasing my back to arch. Sparks of sensitivity erupted from my skin as my body trembled with hot desire.

His hand moved higher, gripping onto my hair before wrapping the long strands around his hand, tugging my head back, demanding my attention.

He stared at me with heavy lids, eyes like ocean blue blades. My body began to heat up.

JJ’s eyes dropped back to my lips causing me to the lick them quickly. He backed me up against the Jack and Jill sink, my back resting against the cool granite counter.

I blinked slowly, making the decision for him, angling my head up and smashing my lips to his.

A groan ripped from his chest as he met my kiss with the same crippling desperation. His rough hands dropped from my face to my hips, his nails digging crescent shaped marks in the skin.

My legs began to slightly shake as his tongue finally brushed against mine. Oxygen was something neither of us needed as we fed off each other's energy.

His tongue licked and twirled around my own, another moan vibrating between us. JJ’s large hand trailed up skin, goosebumps appearing in its wake, before locking around my throat.

His grip was strong, not enough to cut off my oxygen but enough to garner my attention. He pulled me up to my tippy toes by my neck, my nipples brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt making me gasp at the contact. His mouth clashed with mine once more, his lips wrapped around my tongue, sucking gently before pulling back and biting out a curse.

My hands were desperate as they began to unbutton his shirt quickly, pushing the fabric off his shoulders. JJ whipped off the shirt just as my hands began reaching for his shorts, my fingers fumbling with the button.

The laugh he let out was devastating. His smile was purely lethal for my heart. “We got all the time in the world, princess.”

My stomach clenched at the nickname he gave me all those years ago. But, we didn’t. We both knew this moment would end the minute we came to our senses.

JJ unbuttoned his pants and dropped them in one smooth movement before pressing his warm body against mine once more.

“Up, baby.” My arms wrapped around his neck immediately, my nose grazing his. JJ gripped my thighs tight as he placed me on top of the counter.

He rested the palm of his hands on either side of me, enclosing my frame, daring me to move. JJ leaned down, his lips leaving phantom kisses along my collarbone, nipping as he went along. He stopped at the swell of my breasts, both hands encasing my heavy aching breasts before pressing them together.

He pressed scorching hot, open-mouthed kisses on every inch of exposed skin. His tongue pressing against my swollen nipples before closing around one and giving a strong suck. I was a mess beneath him, my chest heaving with heavy pants.

He nipped and tugged at the soft flesh of my breasts, leaving small purple love bites scattered on my chest. He pressed a kiss on each one, a pleased hum echoing within the bathroom.

JJ dropped to his knees slowly, each hand running down my bare legs. I wanted to see him.

I leaned back on the palm of my hands and arched my back in a teasing invitation. Pulling my legs from his grasp, I propped my feet up on the counter, but kept my knees bent, the tops touching.

The utter obsession that painted his face had me biting down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. “Please, Jayj.”

He stood stock still, similar to a statue. It looked like he almost stopped breathing as I slowly pushed my knees apart. I was drenched, I could feel myself soaking the skimpy fabric of my thong, my thighs glistening with the evidence of my arousal.

JJ’s eyes went black, locking in on my wet pussy before jumping back up to me. His hands found my thighs and roughly dug into the skin to keep my legs from closing.

He leaned forward, his index finger hooking the front of my thong before curling the fabric and tugging it up roughly between my lips. “Fuck.” I mewled, watching as he pressed his face between my legs and inhaled deeply.

I could feel my clit throbbing, needing to be touched. With one more tug, JJ slaps the side of my thigh, having me lift my hips up to take the last piece of fabric off my body. An insatiable grin formed on his face that went straight to my clit.

The first touch onto my lips had my hips shooting off the counter, his touch like electricity. He blew a breath against the aching skin, his hot mouth watering at the sight of me. Two fingers pushed apart my drenched folds, rubbing against the sensitive skin again and again, turning me into a mindless puddle.

He smirked at my trembling legs. “You okay, baby?”

“Fuck off.” I responded through gritted teeth, trying to gather myself.

He dipped forward, gathering saliva before slowly spitting it out, the stream of spit pattering against my spread lips. The sound was obscene.

“That’s not very nice.”

Tears of frustration began to build up as I discarded my hands into those loose blonde strands, knocking his hat off. “You love it.”

The grin he sent me was feral and I knew this was exactly what I needed. “I sure do, princess.”

He enclosed his mouth against my swollen clit and sucked roughly, a loud shout erupting from the depths of my chest. JJ parted my lips again, forcing his tongue inside and out, again and again, devouring every inch of my pussy.

My cunt clenched against his tongue making him moan loudly. My body was burning as he swirled his tongue along the bundle of nerves once more. Another cry left me as I tried to find something to grab onto. His tongue lapped up all the fluids that continued to come out and I found myself forgetting how to breathe.

I pushed his face deeper, grinding against his nose that continuously rubbed against my clit, my fingers tugging at his hair, needing a release. The knot in my lower stomach began to tighten as I whispered his name again and again like a prayer. The sound of my breathy pleas spur him on as he slipped two fingers in my pussy, meeting no resistance.

The squelching noises had me throwing my head back against the mirror which had begun to fog up. I clenched around his large fingers that rubbed against my sensitive walls wanting him to lose control.

JJ curled his fingers upward causing my knees to buckle and my mind go blank. I was close and he knew based on the tremors the shook my legs. I could barely hold myself up as everything went fuzzy.

A choked moan escaped my lips that curled into a ‘o’ as his mouth sucked that rigid spot of flesh while his fingers continued to hammer into me. The invisible band snapped and as a wave of pleasure washed over me. My body finally began to relax as I tried to catch my breath, my chest rising and falling dramatically.

I spared a glance at him. JJ’s eyes were low, eyes pitch black and glued to my face, and his cheeks flushed red. He looked pussy drunk.

“Looks like I have to clean you up.” He mumbled against the flesh of my thighs. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as his hot tongue began to catch all the arousal that dripped down my thighs. I was sensitive and tried to move back, but his hands locked around my thighs to keep them open. Shives forced their way up my spine as he lapped all my fluids up, humming as he went along, not leaving one bit of skin untouched. JJ pressed one last kiss before pulling back and licking his lips.

My heart hammered through my chest and vaguely though my haze of pleasure did I hear a murmur.

“Huh?” I felt him smile against my thigh, clearly finding my delirious state funny.

“Barry, man, have you seen her?” Rafe’s voice drifted under the door.

I froze at the sound of his voice, my eyes darting to JJ who just smirked from his spot between my legs.

“She’s right here, man.” JJ whispered, straightening up to press a kiss on the crown of my head. I shook my head at him, my eyes wide with a silent plea, but JJ disregarded it.

“She’s a little busy at the moment.”

I shook my head, pressing my palm against his mouth, his next words coming out muffled. He never knew when to shut up. The last thing I needed was Rafe finding us in his bathroom.

I kept my hand on JJ’s mouth until footsteps faded and we were alone once again.

JJ nipped at the palm of my hands, his tongue slipping out. My face screwed up as I let out a squeal, “Ew, Jayj.”

“Shouldn’t have tried to shut me up to protect your boyfriend’s feelings.” He said the words lightly, but I could hear the slight edge in his tone.

Pushing him off my softly, I hopped off the counter with shaky legs. “Since when do you care about Rafe’s feelings?”

I winced as I tried to take a step, my knees nearly knocking together from the aftershock. JJ always left me a shaking disheveled mess afterwards, but I felt lighter, because he was looking at me the way he used to.

And, I wanted that to last just a bit longer.

“I don’t care about his feelings-“ He scoffed, before pausing at the teasing smile on my lips. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Too easy.” I let out a shriek of laughter as JJ's arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up in the air.

That was how I found myself sweaty, pressed against Rafe’s sheets, struggling to breathe. The violent sound of skin slapping echoing in the room, my raspy moans intertwining with his hot pants.

One of JJ’s hands gripped the back of my head, pinning me to the mattress, the other pushing down on my back, forming a deep arch, to pull his cock in deeper.

I couldn’t register anything he was muttering as he bottomed out since of me, my mind go blank. My walls spasmed against him with each rut of his hip, sucking him back in every time he pulled back.

I was soaked, my pussy dripping around him. The sopping wet noises spurring him on, his pace quickening with those deep purposeful strokes.

I couldn’t focus on anything but him. The smell; the feel of him. The way his cock continued to brush against my cervix made me borderline delicious.

“Fuck,” JJ shuddered, rolling his hips in and out of my pussy had me clamping around him once more, a tidal wave beginning to build up inside me.

I whimper left me, the coil in my stomach pulling tight as I searched for a release. The tip of his cock pressed into me repeatedly, forcing my legs to shake once more.

My hands searched for something to hold onto as I tried to anchor myself from being drowned in pleasure. “J. J, I-I cant-I’m gonna-“

I felt his pace begin to pick him, his cock twitching inside me as he continued his movements, grinding his hips against the globes of my ass, until there was no space between us.

It was like he was imprinting himself into my skin. Like he didn’t want me to forget him.

As if I could ever forget JJ Maybank.

My whines got louder, his words becoming more and more depraved. His large calloused hands ran all over my body like he was etching it to memory.

Quick and quiet gasps bled from my parted lips, as he hammered into me from behind, his hands lacing with mine against the sheets.

The coil in my stomach snapped, white flash blinding my vision, this orgasim more intense than the first. I could feel myself coating his hips and upper thighs, fluids dripping on the sheets.

I could hear JJ’s voice whine, he began to babble nonsense under his breath, with each languid thrust.

My heartbeat was in my ears as I pushed my hips back to match his thrusts, wanting him to finish despite all my sensitivity coming to head. His nails dug my hips, my cunt suffocating as he continued to grunt his cock into me.

“Fuck, Kiara.” His grunt echoed in the room.

Kiara?

I went numb. I couldn’t breathe-I couldn’t, I needed-

Bile coated my throat as whatever childish hope I had shriveled up in my chest. So I laid there, not knowing what to do, as JJ continued to pump in and out of me, but the soft intimacy we shared before dissipated.

Why did no one ever pick me? Why didn’t anyone want me?

I let my body go limp even though everything in me wanted to shove him off, but I just couldn’t get myself to move.

That was all it took for JJ to realize the slip of his tongue. JJ froze behind me as I shoved my face into my arms and choked on a gut wrenching sob.

“Fuck, I-hold on,” JJ’s panick was audible as he slowly pulled out of me. I cupped my mouth to try and muffle the scream I wanted to let out.

His blue eyes widened in horror at his mistake but it was too late. The words were already burned into my mind, replaying on a torturous loop.

JJ’s hand reached out for me, but I shrank back, scrambling to the headboard, desperate to put distance between us.

I curled into myself, pressing my back hard against the headboard, willing for myself to disappear.

“What did you just call me?” My chin wobbled. I tried to remind myself to breathe but with each inhale, my lungs were saturated with pain.

“I-That was an accident.” He stuttered, raking his hands through his hair roughly.

“Get out.”

“It just slipped out, I didn’t mean it.”

“Get the hell out, JJ.” I yelled, and pointed at the door with a shaky finger.

Like I said, his words never dented me, no they completely destroyed me. They cut me like a freshly honed razor blade.

And I was going to die of blood loss if I didn’t get him to leave this room. He had no problem leaving me then, why was he fighting it now?

Was he thinking about her the whole time he was inside me?

Thought after thought haunted me. Was he comparing our bodies? Was he comparing the sex?

Mortification had my stomach churning as I debated what to do next. My body was wound tight, on the verge of hyperventilating.

Did he love her? Did he love her like he used to love me? Did he fuck her the way he fucked me?

I hated him. Before him, none of these thoughts would have crossed my mind. I may have been alone but at least I liked who I was. I never would have questioned myself the way I am now. But after him, the only thing I hated more than him was myself.

“Was Kiara not available,” I murmured, “so you came to the one person you knew would say yes?”

JJ didn’t find my joke funny. The air was tense, as if we were trapped in a steamed up bathroom, making each breath harder than the last.

“Kie and I aren’t together.”

“JJ, you know where the door is. Use it.”

“I don’t want to leave.” He shook his head, his eyes flickering with something heavy.

“You had no problem doing it before.”

“That was-“ JJ squeezed his eyes shut, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He shuffled closer to my body, but still wasn't touching me. I nibbled on my bottom lip and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks hastily.

“I’m sorry.” He said, clearing his throat. “I am so so sorry.”

I lost my grip completely as those eyes perverted mine. His eyes were so blue, it was easy to get lost in them.

Words couldn’t find their way out of my mouth. With wary eyes, I watched as he stood up and disappeared in the bathroom before appearing again with his shirt.

JJ reached for me before pausing, his eyes asking a silent question. I nodded, forcing myself to loosen the grip I had on the sheets.

I let him put the shirt on me, its protection better than the flimsy sheet. JJ dropped his head on my chest, his tan arms wrapped around my waist, curling himself into me.

“I’m sorry.”

I was sorry too. I waited for months for him to be back in my arms, but he ruined every independent thought I had. I couldn’t stop the overthinking. I couldn’t stop the pain.

I was hurting too, but I was the one comforting him. I was always the one comforting him. What about me?

I laid on the soft sheets and stared up at the ceiling. Our heavy breathing echoing in an otherwise silent room. His heavy arm tossed over naked torso, his fingers softly tracing the curve. The whisper of his breath caressing the nape of my neck where his face was buried. The familiar tickle of his golden strands brushing against my nose, his coconut shampoo wafting my senses.

The JJ induced haze began to clear up and the ugliness began to set in.

A single tear escaped my eye, its trailing burning it’s way down the side of my face. I loved him. Even after he willingly abandoned me. After he humiliated me in front of everyone. After he called me her name.

I couldn’t cut him out. It didn’t matter what he did to me, the minute we’re within the same vicinity, my self preservation disappeared. Then I was left, treading water in the middle of a storm, with nothing but a life jacket.

I had no one to blame but myself in this situation. I knew how he spoke to me, how easily he left me, how embarrassed he was of me. But he just smiled and it was like everything melted away.

I so badly wanted to feel again, but not like this.

So all I can do is lay here. In this bed. With a boy who made me hate the kind person that I was.

I made my bed. I didn’t realize this was how I’d feel when I lied in it. I turned into someone I hated. And suddenly I was bone-tired, exhaustion suffocating my lungs. I had no idea who I was and I was tired of being someone I wasn’t.

“Where are my clothes?” I said. God, I needed to leave this room before Rafe found me.

“I wasn’t really focused on that part, babe.” JJ mumbled, burrowing himself deeper into my side.

My stomach lurched. I thought I’d feel different. I thought that maybe this would fix everything. That in some deluded way, we would get back together and everything else didn’t matter. Like he didn’t leave me standing at the party after stomping on my chest.

“I need them.” I mumbled. I choked down the need to throw up. The feel of our sweat coating my body and his soft breaths against my skin had me almost hyperventilating.

Home, he used to be home. But, I’ve never felt like more of a stranger than in his arms right now. This was no longer my home.

Kook pussy. Daddy issues.

I fucked up. Fuck, I fucked up.

This only made me feel worse. I was good enough to fuck, but not enough to stay.

“What are you in such a hurry for?” His fingers paused their persistent movement.

“I have to get back-“

“To who?” JJ snapped.

I moved to sit up, dragging the sheet with me as I avoided his gaze. “You know who.”

He didn’t need to know that Rafe and I basically ended. I just wanted him to hurt in the same way I did.

He let out a scoff. “You can’t be serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“This isn’t like you-“

“You left. You don’t know who I am anymore.”

“Clearly,” he chuckled under his breath, “But suddenly Rafe does?”

I shrugged. “He’s my friend.”

“I don’t give a fuck who he is-“

I tuned him out. I was too busy trying to get his actual voice out of my head.

Kiara. Not me. Kiara. Not me.

It had taken every bit of strength to not chase after him that day. To not call and text, begging for him to give me the time of day. And I know, I know I should be stronger. I know I should have said good riddance and moved on, but love was never simple.

When I saw him tonight, I thought that maybe it was fate. So all the waiting, all the practice of self control paid off because he came back. But, was this what was waiting for me?

“You slept with me,” I said, “ but you’re thinking about her?”

I didn’t want to know the answer, but I had to ask it. It was just one of a million questions I had since the day he walked away. Was there something I could have done differently?

I was wracking my brain to see where I had gone wrong, but maybe I just fell in love with the wrong person.

“From what I hear, you don’t care about anything these days. Why would you care about this?” I couldn’t detect any emotion in his words, just cold hard facts.

I really was out here exceeding everyone’s expectations of me.

But, he had to know that when it came to him, I always cared too much. That’s why his words caused another jagged piece of my heart to puncture my chest.

“Why would I care?” I whispered, shaking my head at him. “Are you listening to yourself?”

Had I deluded myself so much into thinking we experienced the same love in our relationship? How could he even question that. Everything I did was always for him.

“I care about you, that never changed.”

Something pained flickered through his gaze. “Care about me? Yet your fucking Rafe Cameron.”

“You’re mad about that?” I choked on a humorless laugh,”Let me jog your memory real quick since apparently you’ve got amnesia, you were the one that told me to be with him.”

“Well, I didn’t think you’d actually do that to me.”

I threw my arms up in the air, exasperated,”Then why say it at all? Wait, I forgot who I’m talking to. You’re the king of saying shit you don’t mean.”

“Saying shit and actually doing it are two different things.”

“Well, you did do it Jayj.” My lungs hitched.

His jaw tightened, tension seeping out of him in waves.

“You left. You did the one thing you promised you’d never do. You didn’t even look back as you did it.” I shouted, tears blurring my vision as my body continued to shake from adrenaline. “All because what? Rafe hurt your feelings? Because I have more money than you?”

I wanted to understand him. I thought I did once, but the more I thought about our breakup the more I saw it had nothing to do with me. And everything to do with him.

“Do me a favor and grow up. This is the real world. You’d swap places with any one of us in a second if you could.”

JJ narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want any part of your world. I thought I made that clear.”

“I’m aware. But I was there, remember? For every bonfire, for every boat ride with you and your friends. What was it you guys said again?” It rushed out of me, “to going full kook?”

He watched me stoically, his fingers tugging at his bracelets.

“I guess you’re the only one that can have the money in the relationship?” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting for him to respond.

The beautiful blonde boy that seeped into my bloodstream and made me love him. But, ruined us in the process. He destroyed everything he touched.

He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes,

“What happened?”

“You want to know what happened? You fucking happened.”

That familiar anger flared in his eyes and I knew exactly what he was going to do. What he always did to me, but this time, I wasn’t going to let him erase me. Not again.

“Let’s talk about who you turned into?” JJ spat vehemently. “What? Rafe buys you a nice purse and you’re suddenly snorting lines of coke?”

“It was actually a couple purses.”

JJ shot daggers at me. “So what? You’re proud of that?” No, I only wanted someone to care about me if I died.

“I’m only doing what you told me, I’m sorry you don’t like the person you turned me into.”

I didn’t like her much either. But, JJ never gave me more and I realized he would never give me more, no matter how much I pushed. No matter how hard I tried to get him to see that I was the one he should be with.

It pained me that it took all of this for me to realize that there were parts of JJ he would never let anyone have.

“Why are you still here?” I said quietly. “I’m not going to let you sit here and make me feel like shit for how I chose to cope with what you broke.”

I was done giving the men in my life power over me. I needed to stand on my own two feet even if that meant I had to do it alone.

“Feel like shit?” JJ nodded his head with mock outrage,” Princess, you just let me fuck you in your boyfriend’s bed. I think you feel like shit already.”

He was right, but I still recoiled back at the venom he spat at me. I sagged with exhaustion. He was just lashing out the way he always did.

“I didn’t know, JJ.” My voice cracked. “I-I didn’t know. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do.”

JJ’s head snapped up at the waver in my voice. His ocean eyes showed a clear battle, one I knew he’d lose. “S-Sometimes it just felt like I wasn’t good enough.”

His confession broke me. I knew the thoughts that ravaged his brain only because those same thoughts now drown in mine.

My fingers twisted the hem of the shirt that my body was swimming in, a nervous tic I never got rid of. “But I never said that to you, you listened to everyone but me. You were more than enough.”

A tortured look passed his face, like the obvious miscommunication had disrupted everything. “I thought I was being paraded around to prove a point.”

I roughly wiped the tears that kept falling, “It’s okay to not want to struggle for everything in your life, JJ. You were exhausted and I just wanted to help you.”

“I didn’t know. I-just didn’t know.” I continued to repeat. And I didn't. I had no experience with love. I wanted him to have the world since he was born with less than most people I knew, yet he deserved so much more.

“You let your friends help you, I don’t understand how I was any different.”

His blonde hair was sticking up in multiple directions, a clear sign of his obvious distress. "Because they’re my family."

Irremediable sorrow burrowed in my chest. "But, I was your family too."

I felt layers of grief his me in waves, quick and hard, one after the other as I came to terms with the fact that JJ never considered me any part of his family.

"You were the only family I ever had. I thought I was your family.” I sniffled, my ribs began to ache from the constant crying.

A loud crack had me jump back as Rafe bursted into the room, chest heaving from exertion. He paused, his eyes locking in on the messed up sheets before dragging over to me and scanning my disheveled appearance.

I thought we hit a milestone. JJ finally started talking and letting me know exactly what was going on in that brain of his. And maybe, that would be enough for me, for now. This all happened because JJ didn’t know how to communicate and I knew that wasn’t his fault, but at one point he needed to grow up.

I was willing to hold his hand while he did it. But I watched as JJ’s eyes clocked the necklace Rafe wore with my initials. His gaze narrowed at the purse in his hand and my car keys in the other.

The jealousy was evident in the way he rolled his shoulders back, his face granite. “Cute necklace.”

Rafe smirked, tilting his head to the side. “Thanks. It looks even better swinging in her face.”

JJ’s cool demeanor dropped, his blue eyes darkened into a brewing storm. “Enjoy my seconds, bro.” He clapped Rafe on the chest.

My heart popped in my chest at his words, another bandage would do little to fix the shards that once resembled a heart. And, I knew then, that JJ confirmed the conclusion I just came to myself.

“JJ?”

“What?”

“You were right. I do deserve better than you.”

Loving him cost me something much greater: myself.

I couldn’t continue to hide myself in any man that told me pretty words. I was no longer my own person, just a mere extension of them. One that they treated poorly and only took out when they were bored. I was always willing to do what they would never do for me.

I was just a girl, in love with an extraordinary boy who couldn’t see past all the things he was not.

I walked over to where Rafe was, forcing myself to remember his cruel words also. It was the only way I could get myself to walk out of here. My eyes lingered on the necklace for a second before I pulled my keys from his grasp and grabbed my purse.

I wore nothing but JJ’s shirt, but at the moment I couldn’t care less. I left my clothes in Rafe’s bathroom, deciding it was better to leave them then spend another second in either of their soul sucking presence. I could always buy another dress.

I couldn’t buy another me. Not if I kept letting these boys break me.

This time, I was the one that never looked back.

Side note: I WROTE THIS THREE TIMES so pls pls pls be nice to me. I tried to incorporate a lot of people's ideas. I know the OC is very wishy washy but she's so real for that.

TAG LIST: @maybankslover @theficshop @cantbecreative @plk-18

@alicecullensgf @fairylightsandbubblegum @redhead1180 @julczimozart @wh0reforbucknasty @alyisdead @trynafindliz @bradleyroosterbradshawfr @enchantedinfinity @kaylinfayezink @godknows-shetried @sipsthecoffee @leanastarky @mirellef2001 @esquivelbianca @v-a-l-n-t-y-l-e @wonderstruck4llthew4yhome @destinydestnation @ilivinili @metatarooo @a-j-stuffs @vik-05 @thecokefairy @marauderssmut @maybank-cameron-fan @arinadixin @maxine27 @wostarsea @lilymaybank @jennapancake @dreamzluvrr @formulalfc @h1storicbabe @maybankswhore @haven247 @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @drudyslut @rockychick @little-frk-satellite @gwenlovesharrystyles @rudspankow @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @bobo-bush

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saekkas · 1 year ago

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𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔

summary: michael kaiser is a coward who needs a little incentive to finally confess his feelings towards you.

tags: f!reader, roommates to lovers, fluff, falling in love, kissing (more like, making out), jealousy, mutual pinning, possessive kaiser.

wc: 1.7k

notes: i do not know what possessed me into writing this, but man, it needs to do it again.

something you've realized early on in your friendship with kaiser is that he's a coward.

he hates spiders, makes you throw the trash out at night, and screams whenever something falls out of its place because he thinks the apartment is haunted.

in the year that you've spent as his roommate, you've come to terms with it. he's nice, cleans his dishes, and helps with the laundry. he keeps the noise down to a minimum and cooks you breakfast when he isn't preoccupied with practice.

another perk of living with him is the fact that he buys you things, expensive things. perfume. flowers. the dress you were eyeing online. your favorite snacks. a limited edition plushy you've been wanting since forever.

anything.

you realized early on that michael kaiser is rude to other people, scoffing and smirking as if he's above everyone else. he mutters comments about them under his breath, thinking you can't hear. he bosses people around, looking at them like they're ants. a waste of his time.

he isn't like that with you.

for one, he's sweet. if the gift giving isn't enough, he goes out of his way to seek you out after his matches. he asks for massages, for small pecks and fleeting touches. he video calls you when he's away, never forgetting to wish you a good morning and sweet dreams through voice notes. all with a grin on his lips.

you aren't blind. you know those are his ways of expressing affection. you just wish he'd finally man up and admit his feelings.

"so, how was the date?"

kaiser's sitting on the couch of your living room, remote control in hand as he stares at the tv, some random soccer match showing across the screen. his hair is wet, and he's got his glasses on. his posture is relaxed, seemingly nonchalant as he asks the question.

you know him enough to see him gritting his teeth even through his bored expression.

"good evening to you too," you laugh, airy as you take off your heels. putting them next to the door, you drop your keys in the sage bowl, letting them clink against his. "have dinner yet?"

leaning against the door, you can see the fine lines of his shoulder tense. the kaiser you're used to is a show pony, the person sitting on your couch isn't. he almost looks like a stranger with his neutral expression and bored eyes. such a difference to the guy who usually comes running whenever you walk through the entrance.

"i ordered takeout." he motions to the plates littered around him, pointing at the fridge. "i saved you some of your favorites."

internally, you flutter. happy to know that the kaiser you know, and love, isn't completely gone.

"thank you, that's very sweet of you."

he's adamant on keeping his eyes off you and on the screen, his shoulders becoming even more tense as you open your arms wide.

"no hug for today?" there's a hopeful smile on your lips as you say the words. happy to finally have everything the way they should be.

only to be shut down with a single side eye from him.

"what?" he asks lowly, almost conceding in his words. almost like your presence bothers him, like all those other people do. like you aren't special to him anymore. "did your date dump you? and now you're looking to me for comfort?"

the words are icy, and he gives no room for rebuttals. not when he looks at you with a quirked eyebrow and a cocky smirk.

it's the first time he's used his persona on you. one he uses to hide away from the world. you decide that you hate it.

"no. actually, he was sweet," you bite back, glaring when you decide that enough is enough. "asked to hold my hand and carry me on his back."

you watch as his face darkens, his eyes clouding over until you can't recognize the pretty blue color they usually spark in. you're riling him up, making him angry. and it's working.

"why? jealous?"

it's the question you've been dying to ask for months now. he flirts like you're more than friends, buys you gifts like you're something special to him, shuts down every time you go on a date with someone that isn't him.

but when it comes down to it, you not his to have. not when he's too much of a coward to do anything about it.

"and if i am?" his words surprise you. it's the first time he's come close to revealing his true feelings in months. they're said with an underlying tone of anger, jealousy, and possessiveness. like you're already his and no one else's. "what's it to you?"

"oh, you know, just happy you're finally being a man and talking about your feelings."

you shouldn't have said that. with the way his eyes are practically glaring, you don't know what else to say. you look up when he stands, practically looming as he stalks to you.

"you're so-"

his words are interrupted by his cursing. he glares down at you, pushing his hand next to your head, pining you against the door. you gulp, watching as he practically shakes in anger.

"du machst mich wahnsinnig, liebling. ich glaube nicht, dass ich mich zurückhalten kann, wenn du weiterhin so eine göre bist."

translation: you're driving me mad, darling. i don't think i can hold back if you continue to be such a brat.

"he even asked to kiss me too," you say, your voice trembling under his dark gaze. your sweet and funny roommate is gone, replaced by the man you see in front of you. your heart is pounding against your chest, in both fear and excitement for what he'll do when you finally push him off the edge. "he-"

kaiser surges down, cutting your sentence off with a kiss.

your eyes widen when your head hits the door from his force. a shiver running down your spine when he lifts a hand, placing it on the back of your head, gently caressing the area. closing your eyes, you wrap your arms around his shoulder, kissing him back with just as much fervor.

he relaxes at that, pulling back slightly only to swoop back in, keeping you in his arms for as long as he wants. by the time he finally breaks the kiss, you're both leaning against each other.

you've never seen his eyes as happy as they are now.

"ich bin mir sicher, dass ich besser küsse als er," he says, smug as he takes in the way you're panting. he chuckles, placing his hands on the side of your neck to pull you into another kiss. "richtig, liebling?"

translation: i'm sure i kiss better than he does. right, darling?

"i don't know what you're saying but yes. okay. sure." you nod, head still hazy as his hands start to stroke your cheek. "if it's something bad, then no."

he chuckles, placing a kiss on the corner of your lips. he keeps you rooted in your spot, his eyes darting back between your eyes and your lips. "you're mine now, yeah? no one else gets to kiss you the way i did."

"about time," you say with a roll of your eyes when your breathing finally settles. you play with the hair around his shoulder, slightly tugging at the strands. "it went awful, by the way. he made me walk 3 kilometers because his car broke down."

his hands stop, freezing as he looks at you incredulously. "but you said-"

"i lied," you say with a cheeky grin. you lift yourself onto your tiptoes, placing a kiss on his cheek as an apology. "just wanted to see how you'd react."

you giggle when he groans, letting him settle in the crook of your neck. "you little minx. next time, call me. i'll pick you up and drop you off."

there's the kaiser you know and love.

"mihya." the nickname is odd on your lips, new and completely unrefined. you watch as he perks up, his eyes practically shining as he looks down at you. guess you'll just have to use the nickname on him more often from now on. "you're a terrible driver. you'd be picking me up at the mall and dropping us off at the gates of heaven."

"well, at least that means an angel will finally return home."

you smack his shoulder for that.

bonus:

you're walking down the stairs of your university a few weeks later, laughing at something your friend said when the sound of squealing fills your ears.

a sleek black lamborghini sits right in front of you.

you blink, taking in the over-the-top showcase before your eyes land on the figure right beside it. you snort as kaiser winks at you from his spot, still taking his time to soak up the limelight.

"did you have to come all the way here to be a showoff?" you greet him with a kiss to his cheek that kaiser visibly grins at.

ever since getting together, he's been hogging you all to himself. he insists on driving you to and from wherever you need because your time together is worth everything to him. "you are so petty. making sure no one even thinks of asking me out on another date?"

"you like it." the way he says it is breathless, like it's a secret he's been keeping to himself for a long time. "you like me."

who knew michael kaiser turned out to be such a corny romantic?

you snort, tugging him into the car before he makes any more of a scene. "i do."

he grins at that, revving the engine as loud as he can, smirking when a group of freshmen cheer and wave to him from behind the car.

"good." he takes your hand, placing a kiss on the knuckles. he holds it as he backs out of the university and into the open street. "be prepared because i'm about to spoil you even more."

#blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock fluff #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser imagines #kaiser x reader #kaiser imagines #michael kaiser fluff #michael kaiser x you #michael kaiser x y/n #bllk x female reader #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #bllk x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock headcanons #blue lock x female reader #blue lock x y/n #kaiser fluff

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m00nkissedlover · 1 month ago

Text

・｡naps 🍂

"cause all I wanna do is lie with you~"

leona kingscholar x reader | word count: 1,150 words

summary: during preparations for halloween, you and leona share a rather comfy moment~ 🍂

warnings: none!

note: kinda rushed, not really proofread. also, i love leona sm, OMG-

cheerful banter, excited voices, and the scents of pumpkin, cinnamon, and apples filled the air of night raven college. students and faculty alike were working hard in preparation for everyone's favorite holiday: halloween.

each dorm, being led and directed by their dorm leaders, was hard at work, decorating for the spooky and fun filled holiday that was only days away.

you were working with grim to hang up some pumpkin and skull shaped garlands, holding a few nails between your teeth as you hammered them into the wall. "these look too boring!" the cat-like creature complained, flicking at one of the paper skulls with his paw. "well what do you recommend we do? this was all they had in the storage closet..." you sighed, rolling your eyes at your furry companion's complaints. he thought for a moment before perking up, a mischievous little grin on his face.

"i think it'll look better all lit up!" he exclaimed, taking a deep breath. before you could stop him, grim had already let out a breath of fire, the blue flames licking the paper and thread of the garlands. "grim, what did you do?!" you yelled, rushing to fan out the flames before they burned your dorm to the ground. "what? i thought it'd look cool..." grim said, realizing his mistake. you sighed, gently petting his head after you finished putting out the small fire.

"it's alright, you didn't know this would happen." you mumbled, looking at the now charred garland at your feet. "i'll go ask around the other dorms and see if they have extra garlands." you said, grabbing your jacket as you made your way out the door. "bring back some tuna!" grim yelled after you, your response being a thumbs up.

you'd tried most of the dorms, realizing they were either done decorating or still in the process. when you went to heartslabyul, duce and ace were on their way out, riddle yelling something along the lines of "get the right decorations or it's off with your heads!" "what happened?" you asked as the two walked with their heads hanging in shame. "someone took the wrong box of decorations. these actually belong to savanaclaw dorm." duce said, earning himself a poke in the side from ace. "okay, but in my defense, the closet was pretty dark!" he protested, a soft laugh pushing past your lips.

"looks like they have extra garlands. mine burned down cause grim was trying to show off again." you explained, stepping onto the grounds of the savanaclaw dorms. "are you sure that's why you're here?" ace asked, a knowing grin on his face. you playfully shoved him as duce went up to knock on the door. the door swung open and ruggie stood there, a box full of heartslabyul decorations in hand. "oh, i was just about to come return these." he laughed, shoving the box into ace's arms. duce gave him the correct box and thanked ruggie, getting ready to leave before he was tugged to the side by ace. you raised an eyebrow as you saw the two whispering and glancing at you a few times.

you weren't sure exactly how you got into this situation, but you and ace were currently helping ruggie and jack put up fake cobwebs in the corners of the room. duce had volunteered to go take the decorations back to ramshackle and heartslabyul. "where's mr. king of the jungle? shouldn't he be helping too?" you asked, glancing around for the familiar lion. "he's taking his "power nap." says he can't help out if he's sleepy." ruggie said, rolling his eyes.

"ugh, ruggie, we're out of thumbtacks." ace said, hopping off of the ladder. "ummm, i think leona has some in his room." jack replied, tying off the string of another garland. "[y/n], could you get them?" ace asked, that stupid grin on his face again. "why can't you-" "ace, could you come hold this for a second?" ruggie yelled, obviously in on it and giving ace the perfect excuse. "duty calls~" he smirked, making you scoff and curse at him under your breath.

you softly knocked on the door of leona's room, listening for a sign to enter. "he's probably asleep..." you thought, slowly opening the door and taking a peek inside. you were correct: there in a plush, king sized bed, slept leona kingscholar himself, still in his uniform minus the jacket. you slowly stepped inside the room, walking over to his desk area and snagging the box of thumbtacks, making your way back to the door. you stopped halfway, glancing over at leona's sleeping form.

he looked so peaceful, as if he didn't have a care in the world. he probably didn't. absentmindedly, you reached your hand out and gently brushed some of his hair from his eyes, seeing them slowly start to flutter open. you froze as his emerald green eyes seemed to widen a little at seeing you, a sleepy grumble leaving his lips, his tail flicking behind him. "herbivore? what are you doing here?"

"sorry to wake you. ruggie said he needed help with the halloween decorations, so ace and i decided to stay." you couldn't help but laugh a little, taking in his half asleep stare as he sat up with a groan. "ace needed some thumbtacks for putting up the cobwebs." you said, holding up the box. "you're really going along with all of this stuff?" "what, you mean decorating? it's much more fun that way! gets everyone into the halloween spirit!" leona rolled his eyes, playfully flicking you in the forehead. "of course you'd say that. now if you'll excuse me, i'll get back to my nap." he said, getting ready to get back into his bed. "at least come and help-!"

you let out a startled yell as you were pulled down into the plush blankets of leona's bed. "leona, what are you doing?" "isn't it obvious? sleeping. you can leave if you want. but if you decide to stay, i'd appreciate it if you stayed quiet." he yawned, his tail swishing a bit. you felt your heart skip a beat, your eyes glancing up to meet leona's. he wordlessly pulled you closer, resting his chin on your head, already knowing you had no intentions of pulling away.

it felt nice, so nice to be held by the otherwise grumpy lion. he smelled like citrus and something musky. his embrace felt like a protective bubble, keeping you safe and secure. you felt your breathing get a bit slower as eyelids fluttered closed, your arms wrapping around leona's middle. no words had to be exchanged. it was already obvious how you felt about each other.

bonus: ace and ruggie walked in on you two and of course ace took pictures...and of course you chased him down the hall the next day when he sent them to you. 🍂

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reneesghostinthelivingroom · 1 month ago

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clarisse x gn!child of nemesis!reader where the reader keeps a black book of everyone who's pissed them off and why and clarisse gets curious. love your work! :)

The Journal

|| Clarisse La Rue x genderneutral!nemesis!reader

|| Warnings; swearing, Clarisse and reader have a small argument, Clarisse invading reader's privacy, short drabble

|| Summary; when Clarisse comes looking for reader at their cabin, what she didn't expect to find was a black leather journal coated in red scribbles. Curiosity gets the better of her.

Requests open!

Started; october 9th

Finished; october 9th

~~~

Clarisse and you have been dating for some time now. The two of you were a pretty intense combo, beyond loyal to each other but almost always fighting about something. Most of the time it's just for fun, though. None of your arguments are really serious. You just like keeping each other on your toes. With you being a child of nemesis and Clarisse a daughter of Ares, it's no wonder things were intense. Both of you had such intense Godly parents.

Despite all that, today was a rather calm afternoon. Clarisse had just come into the Nemesis Cabin to look for you when instead she found a black leather journal on your bed. Scrawled on the front in red was a bunch of crossing lines and scribbles which peaked her curiosity.

She walked over and picked it up, right away she noticed that there was just something intense about the book before she even opened it. When she did open it, she immediately realized why that was. Her eyes widening slightly as she reads through the text. The book was full of names of people who had clearly pissed you off, you even stated why. Most having a massive paragraph or two. The more she looked through, the more she noticed that some names were even repeated. An example being Drew, the daughter of Aphrodite. She was in there more than three times. Damn, you and her really didn't get along.

Clarisse sat herself down on the edge of your bed, looking through the book. At one point she even found her own name, though the reason you had was fair enough. It was after one your more intense arguments with her. She couldn't necessarily fault you for that.

The daughter of Ares took her sweet time reading through it, enjoying everything about it and making mental notes of those who'd wronged you. She knew you had probably already gotten back at most of them by now, but she was still going to do some stuff herself. She was your girlfriend, after all. Plus, she needed to start some fights anyways. She was getting bored.

She found herself wondering if you'd always kept books like this and if you had anymore laying around. This one specifically only went back a few months, so it was relatively new but there were still lots of pages filled regardless. You seemed to have a lot of enemies, which she thought was kinda cool. You definitely weren't afraid to speak your mind.

"Clarisse?"

The sound of your voice got her attention, her head snapping away from the book to look at you with wide eyes. Then glance at the book in her hands before looking to you again.

"Y/N..." She muttered and cursed, setting the book aside," hey."

You folded your arms across her chest as you stood in the cabin doorway," 'hey'? Really? Were you going through my shit?"

She immediately shook her head, trying to defend herself from what you just saw." No, I swear I was just coming in to find you then saw the book laying there so I got curious."

You rolled your eyes and walked over, picking the book up." How much did you read?"

"Enough to know that a lot of people pissed you off, including me." Clarisse admitted, you were the one person she could never bring herself to lie to," ...could I help plan your revenge?" She asked, hoping that maybe if she showed interest you would forgive her.

And you did think about it. For a long moment. You knew you couldn't stay mad at her forever, no matter how badly you wanted to some days." Fine..."

"Fuck yes." She couldn't help but grin. This would be fun.

#fanfic #x reader #canon x reader #clarisse x reader #clarisse la rue x genderfluid reader #gender neutral reader #clarisse la rue x reader #percy pjo #percy series #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #clarisse la rue

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jenzcoxg · 29 days ago

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NCT DREAM (00 line): When you moan their name in your sleep

WARNINGS: All scenarios include smut.

Renjun

Renjun wouldn't really know what to do or what to say. He would be reading a book because he wasn't really as tired and you. The book is some spicy novel he bought the previous day, he thought he should get a book because he doesn't really read often. Earlier tonight, you and Renjun went to a party. The party was boring af but it seemed to wear you out. "Renjun" you moan. "Yes?" He asked. You didn't answer. all you said was "Renjun~" This time is sounded more like a whine then a moan. "You okay baby?" He asked then tapping your shoulder. Still no response. "Fuck right there!" You yelled. Renjun realizing what was happening, he groaned. "Renjun?" You ask, awake now that he accidentally elbowed you. "Babe~, you were dreaming of sex!" He said in a groan. "How do you know?" you ask. "You were moaning OUT LOUD!" "IM SORRY! I CANT HELP YOU LOOKED SO FINE AT THAT PARTY! I wanted to get your attention but you were to busy talking to your friend! So I went and talked to this random guy I found and danced with him to get you to pay attention to me!" You admit more of what you wanted to say. "Please don't be mad" you whine. "Oh your getting it now missy."

Jeno

Jeno was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, washing his face. You know, basically his night routine. He put the towel back on the shelf, and that's when he heard it. "Oh my God, Jeno!" He thought you were hurt, so he ran into the bedroom. "Y/n! Baby! what happened?!" him yelling startled you. "AHH! WHAT THE FUCK JENO? I WAS TRYING TO SLEEP!" You yelled at him thinking he was schizophrenic. "Are you okay? I thought you were hurt!" He asks, putting his hand on your shoulder. "Jeno, I'm not hurt." "What?" "I think you heard something else..." You said with frown. "What are you talking about?" He asks. "I was-" you tried to say before he cut you off. "YOU WERE HAVING A WET DREAM?" "YES! Bro I can't help that you looked so good in those grey sweatpants!" You said to him, avoiding eye contact. "Oh! You could have just said you wanted me." "Fine! I want you!" He smirked "I want you too baby."

Haechan

Haechan is a light sleeper so the second he hears your voice he wakes up. "Haechan" His eyes open, he turns to you and looks the other direction before closing his eyes once more. He wasn't sure if it was you or a noise in the house that woke him. "Haechan" you moaned a bit louder this time. Again, Haechan"s eyes were wide open, he turned to you "Hm?" thinking you were awake, he hummed again, but louder, incase you didn't hear him, he was loud enough for you to hear him. "Haechan? Are you okay?" you ask, "Do you want something? You've said my name alot." Haechan said, adjusting his position to see you better. "Oh shit." "Wait a damn minute, did you just have a wet dream?" you cover your face in embarrassment. "You just did!" Haechan said while laughing. "Okay maybe I did. But, I bet it would be way better if the real Haechan was fucking me" Haechan smiled at your words "Bet."

Jaemin

Jaemin was playing his game. He was on a call with his friends as well. He was so close to getting a kill, when all the sudden, "Jaemin~" It sounded like a whisper, but Jaemin still heard it. It caused Jaemin to die in his game. It was really quiet in the room. All you could hear was Jaemins friends yelling at him through his headphones. "Yes, baby?" He didn't hear a response. "Baby-?" "Oh god, Jaemin!" He got cut off by you moaning once again. "Y/n? What's wrong, baby?" Jaemin lightly tapped your shoulder. He woke you up, causing you to groan. "What?" you asked, unhappy that he woke you up. "You were saying my name like, 200 times." Jaemin said, making you gasp. "Oops." You covered your mouth. Jaemin raised a brow at you. "What? Wait?" Jaemin sat down next to you. "You were dreaming about me!" Jaemin started to laugh. "Yes! Jaemin, I was gonna ask if you could fuck me but you were playing your game!" Jaemin got on top of you. "Well, what are you waiting for? Ask."

-------------------------------------------------------

AUTHORS NOTE: Hi guys!!! Thank you for reading. I will try to post sometime again this month. Please ask anything!

- @jenzcoxg

#nct smut #nct dream smut #nct dream #renjun smut #jeno smut #haechan smut #jaemin smut #renjun #jeno #haechan #jaemin #nct #jenzcoxg

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lovedrruunk · 8 months ago

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‘Take ur heart!

Venture (Overwatch) x reader

Authors note!!! (¬‿¬ ); (UPDATE: PLEASE GO READ MY OTHER POSTS INSTEAD CUZ I LITERALLY HATEE THIS ONE AHHHH THE OTHERS R SM BETTER I SWEAR!! IM STILL LEARNING!!!) First fic ever (and last knowing me!) and ofc it’s overwatch related…. I’ve literally never written a fanfic before so pls give me feedback!! I feel like it’s a bit boring just cuz we haven’t learned a lot abt them yet so it’s very surface lvl!!

“I got this one while digging in Acropolis! And this one from a site in Giza!” They said enthusiastically pointing to some scars on their forearm.

You and your new colleague, which you now know goes by Venture, had met on the rooftop of your work building about an hour ago when you both had coincidentally needed some fresh air. You hadn't even been there for more than 5 minutes before you heard the door to the rooftop open. Despite having just met, you found yourself immediately drawn to their easygoing nature. They spoke with a lightness and joy that seemed contagious and you couldn’t help but be caught hook line and sinker.

“And this one—" they grinned awkwardly, pointing to the chip in their front teeth. “This um…” They lowered their finger, looking away a bit embarrassed. “It was nothing.”

You chuckled at how much of a bad liar they were and as curious as you were, you didn't want to pry into anything that might make them uncomfortable, so you decided to swiftly take the attention off it.

"How'd you get this one?" you reach out to take their hand pointing to a deep scar you had noticed on their thumb.

"Oh I got that one fighting a monkey for a rock in Suravasa." they shrugged and you couldn't help but laugh at how casual they were.

"Scary!"

"Nah, just annoying! Little dude didn't know what he had coming... I may have been scathed but I won the war!"

You shook your head in amusement at their nonchalant attitude towards what sounded like a crazy life and as you leaned against the railing you noticed yourself admiring them more and more.

After a bit of rambling Venture seemed to have come back to their senses stopping abruptly. They took a second to look at you closely noticing how you were genuinely interested. You weren't still there out of pity or asking questions for conversations sake, you genuinely liked listening to them talk which Venture had realized pretty early on that in professions like theirs, was pretty rare. They couldn't help but feel flustered under your gaze, quickly trying to put the attention off of them and on to you.

"Well what about you? Any things you're passionate about?"

As the conversation flowed, you found yourself sharing stories of your own, although they were average compared to theirs. Nevertheless, they listened with genuine interest, nodding along and occasionally butting in with words of praise or curiosity.

Before you knew it, the sun had begun to set and the evening breeze was ruffling your hair as you stood in silence, content with each other's company.

"I bit a rock."

"...hah?"

"I bit a rock... and it chipped my tooth."

"..."

(* ^ ω ^)

#venture x reader #venture overwatch #overwatch x reader #I HATE THIS TBHH AHH #BUT ITS ONLY MY FIRST FIC SOOO #fine i'll put more trust in myself!!

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ilongfor-the-arts · 2 years ago

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A REQUEST FOR LIP PLEASEEE!! him getting hammered in a party then he calls you to rescue him or smth then you gotta drag him and drive him back home. he asks you sleep over and you stayed! thats basically my idea u can develop it however u like <333 can be fluff alone or added w a bit of spice🤭 but we’ll enjoy it nevertheless

Drunk Mind, Sober Heart

Pairing: Lip Gallagher x fem! Reader

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, angst (nothing happens bc Lip is drunk), dirty talk, language

Summary: *in req*

Word Count: 2.5k

An ear splitting noise startled me awake. I shot up, my eyes flinging open, only to discover that my bedroom was completely dark.

Was that my alarm?

No, there is no way in hell it was eight in the morning already.

I groaned in frustration and reached for my bedside table. As my eyes adjusted, I ran my palm along the smooth wood, my bedroom gradually coming into view. Unfortunately, my vision was not properly adjusted to perceive the small black box. My hand pushed a mysterious object, and a soft thud echoed.

“Shit!”

I exclaimed. I threw my torso off the bed and inspected the carpeted floor for my phone.

Whoever was calling me at this hour was gonna get it.

When I realized I didn't have much time before the call went to voicemail, I quickened my pace, grunting from the unexpected effort.

“Yes!”

The artificial glow burned into my retinas as I flipped the phone over to expose the screen. I was forced to squint so I could see who had the audacity to call me at such an inconvenient hour.

I rolled my eyes.

Of fucking course.

With a sour attitude, I accepted the call. I was miffed at Lip for ruining my perfect night of restful sleep.

“What? This better be good Lip, or I’m gonna be really pissed.”

I flopped onto the bed and fixed my gaze on the boring ceiling. On the other end of the line, there was a cacophony of voices and screams. It was so loud that it resembled a roar. To prevent going deaf, I moved the phone a few inches from my ear.

“Heyyyyyy Y/N. How are ya?”

Every syllable lacked clarity. Oh, come on, why did I have to be the one getting booty called tonight? I disregarded his inquiry and instead put forth my own.

“Lip, what time is it?”

I inquired in part to gauge his level of inebriation and in part because I was too sluggish to remove my phone from my ear to check the time.

“Uhhhh- that’s a great question.”

There was rustling from the other end of the line.

“It’s 9 oh 3.”

I cocked a brow.

“You sure about that?”

“Uh-hold on. Gimmie a sec.”

Rustling.

“Do you read from left to right or right to left?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. At the very least, this would make a good story in a few days after I recovered from my extreme sleep deprivation.

“Left to right, at least in English.”

“Okay, thanks. You’re so smart.”

Rustling.

“Okay, it’s 3 oh 9. Well… 3:10 now.”

I tried to shake the sleep from my brain by closing my eyes and gently kneading my soft eyelids.

“That’s just perfect. You do remember me saying I had an 8 am class today, right?”

“Yes I do. I just-I lost my phone, and yours is the-the only phone number I remember.”

He had never been this drunk before. Lip had a very high tolerance for alcohol. The number of drinks he must have consumed to get to this point is beyond my comprehension. His speech was becoming more slurred by the second, almost as if he were nodding off.

I completely ignored the fact that he used his phone to call me. He was comprehending very little at this moment.

“How many drinks have you had, Lip?”

Silence.

“Uh-that’s another great question…”

His voice trailed off. I sure hope he didn't doze off on me.

“Alright Lip, don’t fall asleep.”

I threw myself into a sitting position and switched on the bedside table lamp. The room instantly filled with bright light. My eyes watered. I squinted to accommodate the abrupt change.

“Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”

I tucked the phone between my shoulder and ear as I reached down to put on my slippers.

“Uh-I don’t know the address.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Alright, well, can you give me any information that could help me find you?”

I stood, the phone pressed to my ear. I threw a light jacket over my shoulders to hide the fact that I wasn't wearing a bra.

“Uh-it’s down the street from an old gas station.”

I knew exactly where he was. There was only one party host who lived next to an old gas station.

“Are you at Christian’s house?”

“No. Well, actually, I don’t know.”

I walked to my front door, shaking my head in disbelief. I plucked my car keys from the wood tray by the door, twirling them between my fingers. The silence that engulfed my apartment complex was deafening compared to the soft jingle.

“I’ll come and get ya’. Just give me ten minutes. Don’t move a muscle.”

“Okay. I’ll be waitin’ for ya on the front lawn.”

“Perfect.”

I drove slowly, not in a hurry to arrive at Christian's house. Lip could handle himself when he was drunk. Sure, he said stupid shit at times, but if I truly believed he was a danger to himself, I would increase my urgency.

Not even a meek flicker of light could be seen in the windows of nearby houses. My car was engulfed in darkness. Everything was pitch black save for a few street lamps that did little to penetrate the gloom. The world was still and silent.

It reminded me of the twilight zone. I was imprisoned in an environment where time did not exist. I was alone. There were no people who could guide me. I was trapped.

That was the impression I had up until I arrived at Christian's house. The street was lined with parked cars. There were sober individuals mixed in with those who were stumbling drunk. Christian’s house was bursting at the seams. People could be seen congregating on the lawn, in the upper windows, shoving their way inside, and shoving their way out. I stopped my car in front of the grass. Sure enough, Lip was standing on the front lawn, gazing at the street with a blank stare.

I giggled. He looked lost.

I opened my car window and protruded my head outside.

“Lip Gallagher! Your chauffeur is here!”

I shouted sarcastically. My joke elicited a few giggles from various partygoers. A stupidly uneven smile appeared on Lip’s face as he awoke from his stupor.

“Oh hi, Y/N! I didn’t even know you were coming!”

“Get in Lip. I’m gonna take you home.”

Lip walked over, nearly tripping ten times in the short distance he had to cover. I laughed at his erratic behavior.

“You're gonna sit in the back, Lip?”

I caught a glimpse of him in the rearview mirror. His head was leaning against the headrest, and his eyes were closed. He looked serene. Lip jerked awake. His half lidded eyes hurriedly scanned the back of my car as if expecting company.

“Uh-no. I’ll sit in the front.”

I anticipated that he would exit the vehicle and move to the front seat. Instead, he launched himself over the center console.

“Jesus Lip!”

I exclaimed, a flurry of limbs obstructing my view. His body relaxed as he sank into the passenger seat.

“That’s better. It’s much more comfortable up here.”

I scoffed and decided not to participate in this pointless conversation.

Lip didn't speak once during the entire drive back to his apartment, which surprised me. His breathing evened out. I could only assume that he had dozed off. His head would softly crash into the window when I crossed a bump in the road. Although the position didn't appear to be comfortable, Lip was too far gone to bother.

I parked in front of Lip’s dorm complex.

“Lip.”

The mere mention of his name caused Lip to instantly become alert, his hands fumbling all over my car.

“Yes?”

I grinned.

“Do you need help walking or can you manage?”

“I got it.”

Lip stumbled out of the vehicle and looked up at his run-down dorm building. Thank God he was at a dorm and not in his chaotic home. Only occasionally have I had to pick up Lip from a party. Yet, I always seem to run into one of Fiona's conquests who is using the cover of night to elude detection.

“This isn’t my house.”

“Yes it is.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Lip, you moved. You live in a dorm now.”

Lip squinted, still not convinced.

“Oh!”

His eyes widened as his face relaxed.

“Yeah, I remember now.”

We moved slowly as we ascended the stairs. Lip kept stumbling forward, tripping, falling, then shooting back up. The cycle was then repeated ten steps later. Eventually I caved and slung his arm over my shoulder to quicken the process.

“Are your roommates home?”

I wanted to ignite a casual conversation because I could feel Lip growing heavier. I was struggling under his weight and quickly ran out of breath.

“Yes. Actually, no. I don’t think so. I think they left town.”

“Where did they go?”

“They went… to- somewhere.”

Thank God. I could throw Lip on his bed, tuck him in, and leave without any awkward encounters.

I threw Lip’s dorm room open and reached for the lightswitch.

“Noooooo. Don’t turn on the lights.”

I reconciled.

“Alright. Whatever you say.”

It was the home stretch. Lip’s bed was in sight.

I threw him onto it. Under his weight, the springs groaned loudly, disturbing the peace.

“Alright Lip, looks like my work here is done.”

I couldn't help but smile as I turned to leave. Even though I adored Lip and knew this would make a great story, I was eager to crawl into bed.

“Wait…”

He said meekly.

I turned, exhaling an exasperated sigh.

“What now?”

In the ten seconds that I was looking elsewhere, he had somehow gotten himself into a seated position.

“Come here.”

With the most threatening voice his inebriated mind could conjure, he demanded. I rolled my eyes as I approached him.

His expression was sluggish. He seemed to be in a drug-induced coma. Lip’s eyes were half lidded and the corners of his mouth were slightly upturned in a silly manner.

I came to a halt about a foot and a half in front of him.

“Come closer.”

I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest and taking a step forward.

“Closerrrrrr.”

He was undoubtably fucking with me. But whatever, I’ll play his stupid game. I took another step forward, our knees brushing.

A slight smirk appeared on his lips as he glanced at me through his thick lashes.

Shit.

What have I gotten myself into?

Lip encircled my thighs with his large hands, tugging me forward until the waistband of my shorts was level with his nose.

The air hitched in my throat.

“Lip!”

I exclaimed.

Lip began pressing tender kisses to the tops of my bare thighs, maintaining intense eye contact.

“Come on Y/N, live a little.”

I chuckled, my face flushed with embarrassment, despite the fact that Lip was completely unaware of his actions.

“Lip you really are drunk out of your mind.”

Lip chuckled against my skin.

“Maybe.”

He mumbled.

“No, not maybe, definitely.”

His voice was remarkably crisp and clear. Lip was in his element. He was truly demonstrating his ability to woo any woman, even when his mind was under the influence of alcohol.

“Okay, I’m a little drunk.”

I couldn’t deny that he looked unbelievably sexy with his hot mouth trailing along my thighs.

“But I bet you’re already wet just thinking about me inside you.”

His tone was sultry.

How did he manage to flirt drunk better than I could flirt stone cold sober?

Smug bastard.

“I-“

I couldn't refute his accusation because he was completely correct. I could already feel the wetness pooling in my panties and all he had done was kiss my thighs.

“Come on Y/N, just let me fuck you.”

He pushed the hem of my shirt upwards, exposing a thin strip of my stomach. Lip’s fiery touch ignited an expanse of goosebumps along my soft skin.

He pressed several hot, open mouthed kisses to my lower abdomen.

I shuddered.

My knees began to shake.

Jesus.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and meekly pushed him away. Lip resisted, his mouth remaining pressed against my body.

“You’re so tense all the fuckin’ time.”

I gulped, squeezing my eyes shut. If I continued to maintain eye contact, I would never have the strength to put an end to this.

“You need to relax… and I can make you relax. I can eat you out and make you cum all over my face- I can fuck you real slow- make you feel really good-“

His warm mouth was hovering just above my waistband.

“Lip, we’re friends-“

“Friends fuck. Friends fuck all the time.”

He moved a hand forward, rubbing soft circles into my clothed clit.

Jesus, he was touching me through two layers of clothing and I was still getting insanely hot and bothered.

No.

Hell no.

“Sure, but sober friends don’t fuck drunk friends.”

I was more assertive in my actions. I pushed him away from me. Lip's mouth disconnected from my stomach with a soft pop. His hands landed in his lap.

“No?”

He asked with a sarcastic pout.

“Maybe another time.”

I said despite knowing Lip wouldn’t remember this tomorrow.

“Okay. But I got ya thinkin’ about it, didn’t I?”

He asked smugly.

“Yes, you did.”

Lip fell to one side, his head hitting the pillow.

“Will you stay with me?”

I chuckled.

“What are you, seven?”

Lip groaned, his eyes shut.

“No-I’m at least 10.”

Despite my jokes, I wanted to be with Lip. I'd possessed a small crush on him for the many years we'd been friends, but I wasn't sure if it was something I should pursue. It was always a minor nagging thought in the back of my mind, never something to take seriously.

Until tonight.

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

I crawled into bed with him, slinging an arm around his waist.

“Love ya Y/N.”

His voice was slurred to the point where his words could barely be understood. But I recognized what he was saying. When it was time to say goodbye, he always told me he loved me (platonically, of course). I'm grateful that drunk him still clung to our traditions.

“Love you too Lip.”

Lip smelled like stale tobacco and cheap alcohol. It wafted into my nose in waves, lulling me to sleep.

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aquasarsstuff · 2 months ago

Text

Arrange Marriage ft. Lilia Vanrouge x gn!Reader part 4

Tags: Not for people who hates sweets, not proofread, twisted wonderland, fan fiction

Summary: You sneak away with Lilia, and you find what he has in store for you.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Masterlist

---

ʻʻI have eaten more than I need for today, Lilia,ʼʼ you tried to stop him from going to every stall he sees you stared for a second too long. In truth, you were more worried of draining his pockets than actually gaining weight.

ʻʻWith how harsh the weather is today; you might faint in this heat. I'll go get refreshments for us. There's a small queue, but the wait will be worth it. Let's go, before the line gets longer,ʼʼ he pulls your hand. This time, all your reasoning fell on deaf ears. You flap your hand over face. The roof of the stall only provided shade to the ones in in front. You looked down to see Lilia basking under your shade, using his short stature to see his advantage.

ʻʻDon't you feel stuffy with that hood on?ʼʼ you were already drowning in your sweat under the hood. It was only then when Lilia took a glance up to you that your realized he was blessed.

ʻʻNot only a face of a baby but also has a skin like one,ʼʼ you murmured under your breath.

"Hm?"

Curse whoever gave him sharp senses.

ʻʻI'll leave the decision of choosing the flavor to you,ʼʼ you said first before he can even ask.

ʻʻHow about this one? It's limited for this season, and the ice would help us cool off. Not to mention, the fruits added here are sweet and nutritious.ʼʼ

ʻʻSure, it sounds nice.ʼʼ

Lilia nodded and began talking to the vendor. As you both waited for your orders to be served, you find every crunch of ice satisfying as it's crushed the size of a salt. It was followed by a sweet smell that the fruits let out with every slice.

Your eyes almost shone with ebullience when you were handed the refreshment. You scooped a small piece out of the plastic cup. ʻʻMy expectations weren't that high... but I could now say that he has the skills to work for a rich family. I would definitely come back here. Thanks, Lilia. This is good.ʼʼ

ʻʻDid I just hear that right?ʼʼ

ʻʻWhat right?ʼʼ

ʻʻWas that a ʻthank youʼ I just heard from your lips? I thought I've just ascended and heard the angels singing at me,ʼʼ his lidded eyes bore into you while he takes a bite of his own dessert. You just raised one of your brows at him and turned to the vendor to hand him two silver taels.

ʻʻI was the the one who ask you out; I'm the one supposed to pay,ʼʼ he protested when the vendor took your payment..

ʻʻYou have quite the persistent lover. Let him have this one. Otherwise, you'll have to deal with his nonsense the whole day,ʼʼ the old man laughs and gave you back the money. Lilia happily pulled out a gold tael in his pocket and gave it to the vendor while you still in a daze from embarrassment.

ʻʻConsider the rest as a thanks for making my sweetcheeks satisfied,ʼʼ he placed his index finger on his lips. Lilia then tugged you out of your thoughts before the old man can protest with the large sum he bestowed upon him. He took your hand boldly and wrapped it around his.

ʻʻI can't eat with one hand, Lilia,ʼʼ you squirmed out of his hold, but his deft fingers were quick to hold your palms against his.

ʻʻNo can do, sweetcheeks!ʼʼ

ʻʻThe ice won't last long under this weather. I don't want to munch on a puddle of water. ʼʼ

He leads you to an open space. There were a few acacias trees planted across the area, providing shade to the grassy land below. He plopped into the ground, patting the space beside him and beckoning you to sit there.

ʻʻI'm not sitting on soil.ʼʼ

ʻʻHow about this?ʼʼ he began to unclasp his hood.

ʻʻDon't. You'll get your robes dirty,ʼʼ you walked to the spot he invited you at and laid your back onto the rough bark of the tree, finally getting to enjoy your dessert.

Lilia glanced at you and then above you. He grinned when an idea popped in his head. He asked you to hold his food, and you didn't miss how his hands lingered on yours far longer. A few seconds later, you yelped.

The culprit laughed at you as your feet dangled below the soft grass.

ʻʻLilia! Let me down!ʼʼ you glared at him, unable to do anything with both of your hands occupied.

ʻʻNow now. Don't screech too loud, you might disrupt the sleep of our little hosts,ʼʼ he hoisted you up to a branch. When you were able to balance, Lilia climbed the tree to join you. You didn't mind the company, preferring this way to eat your dessert.

You almost tried to take a bite out of your spoon when you realized the one you're holding was different from what was in front of you. Lilia was looking at you expectantly.

ʻʻYou've already used that, Lilia.ʼʼ

ʻʻI have no infectious diseases currently or,ʼʼ he leaned closer to you. ʻʻYou're worried that I will be able to read your thoughts. This is your chance to kiss me,ʼʼ he closes his eyes and maneuvered his pouting lips to your face. Without thinking, you shoved the spoon he offered earlier to his throat.

ʻʻI'm engaged.ʼʼ

ʻʻEven better. You'll make your dearest fiancé be happy if you practice with me. Besides, the more taboo, the sweeter it is to do, don't you think?ʼʼ

ʻʻNo.ʼʼ

His brows furrowed at your rejection. He exaggeratedly pursued out his lips that it was almost comical. A small laugh escaped you.

---

A/N: Sorry if this one took longer. I didn't like the first scene I made in my draft, so I rewrite it again, but it just didn't work out, so I removed it in my final output. I'm glad I did because I feel much better sharing this one with you guys. This series will probably go longer than I intended. I'm also a reader, so I know the feeling of reading something good, only for it to be cut short 😭 I hope you like this chapter as I do 🤭❤️. Enjoy reading!

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chuulyssa · 9 months ago

Text

kidnapped. (mello)

↷ A/N ─ my first time writing actual smut please give constructive criticism or i'll cry bye. just to confirm btw this is NOT rape/non-con. the reader consents. thank you.

★ COUNT ─ 2.5k

!! TAGS ─ f!reader, kidnapping, yandere!mello, smut, dry-humping, oral sex (m & f receiving), unprotected sex, p in v, praise kink, nicknames (good girl, pretty boy, etc.), floor-fucking, a little cockwarming at the end

★ PROLOGUE ─ your ex kidnaps you because you are a useful asset to kira. or does he have a different reason?

SMUT, 18+, MDNI

You struggled against the tight ropes that bound you. Your mouth was covered with a thick layer of duct tape, your eyes blindfolded so you were enveloped in darkness. Your back hurt, and you realized you had been tied to a chair all along.

Suddenly, you felt the blindfold gently untie itself from around your hair, and you opened your eyes meekly. It took a while for them to adjust themselves to the brightness of the place. You surveyed the room cautiously. The details gradually came into focus, revealing a dimly lit, unfamiliar space with bare walls and a single, flickering light bulb overhead. The air was heavy with an unsettling silence, broken only by distant, muffled sounds of breathing from behind you.

You strained against the ropes again, trying to free yourself from the chair, but to no avail. You panicked, trying to recall how you ended up here. But your memories were hazy, and you couldn't think of anything, especially with the sharp pains of your aching head.

The person behind you moved into your line of sight. With a quick motion, they removed the duct tape from your mouth, causing you to wince at the uncomfortable tingling sensation.

"Easy there," a familiar voice said.

You had heard this person speak before. But where? Your mind ran through all the voices you had ever heard in your entire lifetime - your parents, your teachers, Kira. You blinked slowly, your eyes beginning to register your vision. With a jolt, you realized who the person in front of you was.

"Mello?" you said in disbelief, your voice hoarse from not speaking for a long time.

"Quiet, honey," he whispered and crouched down to be at eye-level with you, his expression revealing neither malice nor sympathy.

"Why am I here?" you demanded. The throbbing pain in your head intensified from this new revelation, your eyes darting around to check for any possible escape routes - doors, windows, anything.

"Who is Kira?" Mello caressed your lips, soothing the tingling left by the duct tape.

"Kira?" you blinked. "I don't know. I'm in the Task Fo-"

"Shut up."

Mello's harsh command silenced you, and you felt a surge of fear. His grip on your chin tightened, his eyes narrowing as if reading your mind, boring into your soul.

"Listen, here, sweet pea," he said coldly, "we just need you to confess that Light Yagami is Kira. Then you will be fine."

"Light Yagami?" you tried not to show the panic you felt on your face. "The chief's son?"

"Y/N, please," Mello said sternly, getting up to pace around the room, circling you. "I know you're connected to Kira. I know Light Yagami is Kira. You have been helping Kira and you cannot fool me."

"I need information," he continued, stopping in front of you once more. "And you're going to give it to me. One way or another."

"I don't know what you're talking about," you insisted, your voice shaky. "I'm not connected to Kira. I'm a part of the Task Force, and I'm doing all I can to stop him!"

Mello scoffed. "Save the lies for someone who might believe them. I've been tracking Kira for a while, and your involvement doesn't go unnoticed."

"I can't give you information I don't have," you pleaded, desperation creeping into your voice. "I'm innocent, Mello. Please, let me go."

"'Please, let me go'?" he repeated mockingly. "'I'm innocent'? Do you know who you're trying to lie to right now?"

"Please, Mello, I'll do anything. Let me go," you begged him.

"Anything?" Mello bent down to you once more. "Anything?"

"Yes, Mello, anything."

"Strip."

You stared. What?

"Strip?" you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper, hoping against hope that you had misheard him.

Mello's expression remained impassive, his eyes boring into yours with an intensity that made your skin crawl.

"You heard me," he said, his voice cutting through the silence like a blade. "Strip."

He leaned forward and tore the ropes with a pocketknife, starting with your legs and then moving to your hands.

"Mello-"

"Y/N. I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong," he sighed. "I just don't want hidden trackers exposing your location."

His expression softened slightly, and he seemed more... human. But it was quickly replaced by an unfathomable expression once more, looking at you with expectancy.

You rubbed your now free wrists, still sore from the tight bindings, and looked at Mello with a mixture of gratitude and unease.

"Thank you," you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. "I... I thought-."

"Strip, Y/N. I don't have all day."

Mello's insistence snapped you back to reality. Despite his explanation, his order made you feel uncomfortable. But you knew that compliance was your best chance at survival right now.

With trembling hands, you unbuttoned your blouse, slowly, as if hoping Mello would ask you to stop. You removed the blouse, and moved on to your jeans, unzipping them and pulling them down, letting them fall to the floor. Now you were left in your bra and panties, and he stiffened at the sight but did not look away.

You moved to your bra, unhooking it, suddenly feeling a bit confident as you maintained eye contact with your ex-boyfriend. You sensually let it hang around your breasts, before pulling it down completely. Similarly, you raised your hips a little to take your panties off, gliding them off your legs and near Mello.

Mello, on the other hand, grew increasingly nervous. He was still looking directly into your eyes as if daring you to make him look at your exposed chest and pussy.

"There you go," you said. "You can check all you want."

Mello nodded, his nervousness dissolving as he adamantly checked your clothes, finding nothing there. You, however, smirked a little to yourself. When Mello finished checking your clothes, he turned to you, but you surprised him by putting your bare feet on his growing bulge, rubbing it up and down slowly.

"Still so hard for me, Mihael Keehl?" you cooed.

"No, shut-" he began, but was immediately cut off by a kiss.

He was still sitting on the floor in front of you, his mind and body going numb from the pressure on his lips. You leaned in more, your legs giving in (from their lack of use), making you fall on his lap, your pussy sitting directly on his hard crotch.

You rubbed yourself against his crotch as you continued the kiss, pussy getting wet imagining how long his dick would be by now. Mello all of a sudden seemed to have woken up from a slumber, and he showed this by kissing you back as roughly as he could.

"Gosh, Y/N. I - fucking - missed you - so much," he said between sloppy kisses, wrapping his arms around your waist and laying you down on the floor as gently as he could. He increased the pace of his dick and your pussy rubbing, groaning as he unbuckled his belt and pull both his pants and boxers down in one go.

His dick sprang out and you immediately got up to give it a little kiss, making him shudder. You slowly shoved him backwards so he lay down, giving you easy access to his dick. You looked down at him. So vulnerable. So needy. So long and hard. Just for you.

You bent down and licked the tip of his dick, his hips springing upward, begging for more. You forced him to continue lying down, teasing him with small licks and kisses at the tip.

"Y/N, please," he groaned. "It's hurting, please."

"So good at begging, aren't you?" You sucked on his dick and he moaned in pleasure.

"Ah, Y/N, fuck, yes."

You sucked and licked his dick, top to bottom, your tongue working as you kept circling it. Your head bobbed on his dick, and your pleasure lay in his continuous moaning. Your hand pumped his dick a few times, soon replaced by your tongue, and you continued the process over and over.

"Y/N, yes, yes, fuck, I'm going to come."

"Do it," you moved your hand faster. "Come for me, pretty boy."

"Oh god, yes, shit, shit," he cursed, soon coming inside your mouth, and you swallowed it, winking at him lightly as he lay on the floor panting, taking more than a few moments to catch his breath.

"My turn," he smirked finally and pushed you down on the floor harshly, a hand behind your head to protect it from injuries.

He kissed your neck, dragging his tongue along your collarbones, then latching onto the hard nipple of your right breast, massaging the other one with a free hand, and soon switching breasts. He continued licking, pinching and kneading your breasts, a few sinful sounds escaping your mouth before he started moving downwards, leaving feathery kisses along the way.

Your breath hitched when you felt the kisses sliding from your inner thighs to your pussy, your hands ready to push his head in further in case he tried to tease you as you did to him. Your fingers groped his hair gently in soft motions, caressing his head and waiting.

He was so close to your pussy, his breath hot against your clit. You closed your eyes in anticipation, waiting for him to eat you out. However, he continued to smirk against your entrance, not moving at all.

"Mello, please," you begged, your voice a little shaky from the earlier blowjob.

"Please what?" He asked, his voice low and husky. You groaned and tried to shove his head in your pussy, but he didn't budge.

"Please, Mello," you whimpered. "Touch me. Please, touch me."

His smirk became wider in response, and he proceeded to give one long stroke of a lick against your clit. You arched your back in surprise and he pushed you down harshly, chuckling and licking you again. His tongue circled your clit before he sucked it into his mouth.

"So wet for me. Such a good girl," he moaned against your skin.

You moaned with pleasure, smiling a little at the praise. He sure knew how to keep you happy even after you two broke up.

Mello continued to lick and suck your clit, suddenly sliding his fingers into you. This caught you by surprise, and both your hands reached out to hold onto his biceps, clinging onto him for dear life while he fucked you with his fingers.

"Good girl, moan for me now, go on," he groaned and licked you again, his fingers moving in and out of you as he sucked on your clit.

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, Mello, yes," you cried out, releasing your built-up orgasm and letting it hit you hard with a wave of pleasure.

He continued to overstimulate you, and you felt as if you were gonna pass out with pleasure. His fingers continued pulsing in and out of your tight little pussy, and you felt your inevitable second orgasm approaching quick.

"Mello, shit I'm coming again," you whined, your body shaking as you released all over his fingers again.

Mello's smirk grew, if possible, even wider. He finally removed his fingers from inside of you and licked them, maintaining a seductive eye contact with you all the while. His tongue lapped at your pussy, cleaning up your juices.

"So tasty. All mine."

He kissed your thighs and looked up at you, his eyes dark with lust. You reached out to touch his hair, but he moved away.

"I'm not done with you yet," he said and pumped his hard dick a few times, looking down at you.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard," he growled, and you gave a tiny, "Yes, please," in response as he pulled your legs apart with his right knee and lined his dick up with your pussy.

You closed your eyes yet again, biting your lip. Even throughout your relationship, whenever the two of you had sex, you wondered if his long, thick cock would even fit inside your tiny pussy.

Mello seemed to have read your mind, for he gave your thigh a little tap as reassurance before pushing into you slowly, his eyes never leaving yours.

You gave a loud cry at the pain, which transformed into a strangled moan as glee filled your body. He pulled out, eyes on yours as if asking if you were okay with this. You nodded slowly, and he wasted no time in thrusting inside again and pulling out in a rhythm, his hands on your hips. He picked up the pace steadily and began moving in and out of you at a rapid speed, fucking you hard.

"Fuck you, Y/N, you're so tight," he growled, arms reaching out to hug you while his hips did the work. Your screams were loud and clear, and while you were probably at the Mafia's base right now, you were sure that none of Mello's men would dare to enter the room.

He grunted, his hips slamming into you, fucking you harder and harder. His dick repeatedly hit your cervix with every thrust, and you felt yourself melt under the satisfaction he made you feel. For god's sake, why did you leave him in the first place? You couldn't remember. Not right now. All that mattered at this moment was his fast and inhumane speed of thrusting and your strangled moans.

"Fuck, I'm gonna come," he grunted, his hips slamming into you.

You nodded furiously, letting him know he could come inside you any time of the day. Mello groaned loudly and released his cum inside your pussy, still, however, continuing to thrust in it in anticipation of your third orgasm. He continued to fuck you relentlessly, his dick pounding into you as he groaned and moaned himself.

"Mello, no! Shit, I'm gonna come again," you shouted out as you felt your third orgasm in less than an hour advance faster.

"Come, darling," he snarled. "Come all over this dick. Claim this dick, Y/N L/N."

You yelled out as you came once more, your body shaking as he continued to fuck you. He groaned and slowed down his thrusts, his dick still hard inside of you.

"Oh, god, you were so fucking good," he said, collapsing on top of you. "I trained this pussy well, didn't I?"

You gave a breathless chuckle in response, while he continued to keep his dick inside you still, not wanting to let go of the warm sensation of your pussy yet. He kissed your neck, his lips brushing against your skin.

"I still love you, you know that?" he whispered, his voice low and husky.

You smiled slightly, holding onto his muscly back as he lay on top of you with his head in the crook of your neck. You ran a hand through his soft, blonde hair.

"I love you too," you whispered back, your voice soft and gentle.

He blinked in surprise and his face broke into a smile.

"I should've known. Floor-fucking was always your thing."

#mello #mello death note #mello 2024 #mihael keehl #death note x y/n #death note x reader #death note smut #death note x you #death note #mello dn #mello x reader #mello x y/n #mello x you #smut #mello smut

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leosficlist · 3 months ago

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Parentlock Rec List (so far)

This trope is my biggest weakness, so you can expect to find fluff galore, lots of Sherlock being called “dad” for the first time, love confessions and guaranteed happy endings. Mixture of lengths

Parentlock 2, Parentlock 3

A Case for Domestic Propinquity by SilentAuror 32k words

Author’s Summary: As Sherlock and John renovate Baker Street with Rosie underfoot, Sherlock can't help but wondering how he could possibly convince John to just stay indefinitely...

Notes: The way this fic ends is genius, and one of my favorite concepts that I rarely see.

Iris by Slashscribe

Author’s Summary: Sherlock does his best to make John happy when John comes back to 221B with his new baby after the events of Season 3, but Sherlock has a track record of getting things wrong in this area. This story is an exploration of their gradual shift from friends to lovers, told from Sherlock's perspective, full of a lot of pining and lack of emotional awareness. 12k words

Notes: Sherlock falls in love with Johns daughter (named Iris in this), and John falls in love with Sherlock as he watches.

Small Sacrifices by Fandaround

Author’s Summary: Five times that Sherlock made small sacrifices for Rosie and the one time that John realized it was all for him. 3k words

Notes: soft and sweet, sherlock adjusting his life for his favorite people

Family Matter by FaithfulViewers

Author’s Summary: A little girl calling them both her daddies is all it takes for John and Sherlock to realize the obvious: they're a family now. (Parentlock.) 3.8k words

Note: Gen, no kissing or romantic vibes, still lovely and heartwarming

The Dilemma of the Watson Bedroom by Jemariel

Author’s Summary: Sherlock hates the name Rosamund. John wanted to call her Katherine. Sherlock thinks it suits her. Meanwhile, he and John are orbiting ever closer together. Sherlock tries not to wonder how long he will have them here, all three of them together in 221B. 7k words

The Stroke of Midnight by aqueliaofthelonelymountain

Author’s Summary: With asking John this one question, he might induce John to ask other questions himself. Like: Since when are you interested in college reunions? Or worse: You know that most people bring their significant others to college reunions, do you, Sherlock? Like spouses… 9.8k words

Notes: Sherlock thinks John is simply playing along to help him save face, but this is cleared up by the end of the night.

Lines In The Sand by JRow

Author’s summary: "He examines the plain white box, which clearly holds a new mug. John must have purchased it and he’s written a note on the top. “First time for everything. – J” Sherlock smiles and feels excitement as he opens the box. As expected, it’s a mug. It appears to be a boring, white mug. Sherlock pulls it out of the box and his breath hitches as he sees the image decorating the side. It’s not boring at all." 3k words

Notes: John is sappy and open, Sherlock is cautiously hopeful. getting together.

Beautiful Pictures by JRow (again!)

Author’s Summary: An adorable (but unacceptable!) photo of Sherlock and Rosie on the Mail online, a stolen Picasso, and a slip of the tongue force John to re-evaluate his long held assumptions 28k+ words

Notes: casefic, raising rosie together while pining, felt like a quick read, vulnerable sherlock, sherlock calls john when offered drugs, sherlock devotes himself to rosie, john takes a pre kiss walk

What Remains Unsaid by ScullysEvilTwin

Author’s Summary: “Sherlock,” he says quietly, shifting over beneath the now-ruined quilt. “Do you want children?” Sherlock stares at the ceiling, makes no indication that he’s heard John at all, but after a moment, he turns his head to meet John’s gaze. “Look at our lives, John. What a preposterous notion.” [] “Our lives are insane, yes, but you didn’t answer the question, did you?” 5.5k words

Notes: Established relationship, John sees Sherlock interacting with children a few times and decides they should consider their options.

Swan Dive by HitLikeHammers

5+1 Sherlock has definitely leapt blindly into worse things. Or: Five Times Sherlock Acted as a Parent, and One Time He Didn't Have Any Reason for Acting at All. 8k words

Notes: Little scenes from Sherlock raising rosie, absolutely heartwarming

Three Of Us by Salamboo6

Author’s Summary: He leans in as soon as he’s close enough, kissing Rosie’s forehead softly, murmuring a quiet “Morning love” as Sherlock goes into more detailed facts about Rosie’s sleeping habits. John isn’t sure what happens next, but without thinking twice about it and actually feeling like it’s the most natural thing in the world to do right now, he leans in towards Sherlock and kisses his temple with a smile. 2.8k words

Notes: starts with a sleepy kiss, end with getting together

Love Comes Softly by SHERLOCKED79

Author’s Summary: After Mary’s unexpected death leaves John alone to raise a months-old Rosie, the doctor tries to sort through the wreckage of his new life. Thankfully, Sherlock is there to pick up the broken pieces and put them back together. / A short, endearing fic in which it takes John Watson over half a decade of raising Rosie together with Sherlock to finally realize he’s absolutely in love with the man. (And in which John is the only one who doesn’t realize this.) 29k words

Notes: So fluffy I thought it must be a prank, but the love never stops ♡

Love Like Ours by Berty

Author’s Summary: In a moment of madness, John tells Sherlock that he loves him. He had not anticipated where the ensuing conversation would take them. 6,5k words

Notes: Lovely heartfelt, in character, love confessions and clarifications, John catching Sherlock being lovely with Rosies as.

#found this from ao3 searching #parentlock #parentlock roundup #johnlock #this was my 100th post wow

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gardnhee · 9 months ago

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can we start over? - c.yj

✸ tw/content. intentional lowercase, cussing, angst(very little), fluff, use of baby (only like once or twice.), reader is slightly antisocial in the beginning, not really proofread

✸ exbsf!yj x afab!reader

✸ note. yj drabble cs i love him an unhealthy amount

✸ song rec. start over - jacquees

you stood in a corner like the awkward person that you are. away from all the chatter, laughter, yelling, and horny crowd. this is how you liked it, you indulged in your solitude.

the unbearably loud music rang in your ears, the fact that you were standing just a couple feet from the speakers didn’t help either.

you decided to drown the ringing by taking a sip of your cup, inhaling a sharp breath as the liquid cascaded down your throat.

“…who hired this dj? music’s unbearable…” you murmured as you frowned at the dj who stood a couple steps from you.

it was fairly boring for a while, the music slowly started to feel faint as the stuffy atmosphere began to push its way into your already tight space. you slightly squeeze the plastic cup in your hand, pressing your back against the wall.

you felt trapped.

deciding you’ve had enough of this, you walk away from the corner. as if you were popping a bubble; like a puppy opening its eyes for the first time, but instead of meeting with a fascinating world, you’re met with drunk shit heads who can’t dance, let alone walk in a straight line.

“where is she…” you huffed, looking for the coworker who invited you to this party, if you can even call it that. it’s more depressing than a fucking funeral.

pushing through everyone was a literal pain in the ass, the environment reeked of alcohol, and the air was incredibly thick. you were starting to regret even accepting the goddamn invitation.

go they said, it’ll be fun they said, “fun my ass.” you utter a small ‘tsk’ as a man twice your size bumps into you, not even having the common courtesy to apologize. god, this is horrible.

you somehow ended up in the kitchen. sighing in frustration, you rest yourself against the counter.

“i’m going to fucking kill-“ you started, but were rudely interrupted when someone walked into the kitchen.

your eyes slightly widened as you acknowledge the person. your ex best friend. fun.

he was whistling along to the horrendous noise these people call music, happiness basically oozing from his pores.

he turned his head to you, looking at you from head to toe in shock, shock which soon subsided and was replaced with an expression you can’t quite describe.

“oh.. hey.” yeonjun waved, mullet drenched in sweat as some loose hairs stuck to his forehead. he breathed heavily, his once joyful demeanor now engulfed in…uncomfortableness? melancholy? nostalgia? it’s been so long that you can’t tell anymore.

he slowly made his way to the fridge, giving you an awkward smile as you bite your inner cheek and look away.

it was silent for a while, you could feel his eyes burning holes into your face.

“yn?” he quietly said, arms crossed over the open fridge door. he looked at you, waiting for a response.

in all honesty, he didn’t expect one. at least not after ghosting you completely and then coming back a couple months later like nothing happened.

he scoffed and shook his head with a sad smile, sighing in disbelief. he was disappointed in himself.

yeonjun shut the fridge door and begun to lead himself out the kitchen, “yes?” you replied with urgency, you didn’t want him to leave. not again. not after losing him for months.

he chuckled, looking back at you. “you’re…not mad at me?” he asked, feet moving in your direction. he realized you aren’t so closed off anymore, you’re more…awake, as if you’ve come to terms with the gravity of things, and for that, he’s thankful. he can make things right now.

you grew nervous, a prominent lump built up in your throat, making it difficult for you to breathe. “i wouldn’t say i am - or was - mad, i guess i..“ you stopped yourself as yeonjun stumbled, falling onto you.

you tried backing up, but couldn’t. fucking counter…you thought, swallowing slowly as the smell of alcohol invaded your nostrils.

“yeonjun? yeonjun, you’re drunk.” you tried pushing him off, but he didn’t budge. instead, he laid his head on your shoulder, “not drunk, just… tipsy.” he blabbered.

it was silent for a couple seconds until you heard him sniffle. he was crying.

“wha…” he grabbed your waist, sobbing into your shoulder. “i’m so-“ he hiccuped, followed by a groan. “i’m sorry, yn, i’m sorry!” yeonjun cried, lifting his head in an attempt to look at you. you stood there, dumbfounded. heart hammering against your chest. he’s drunk. it was evident, yet he still denied it.

he peeked at you through his wet lashes, incoherent sounds slipping past his lips as he wiped his runny nose. “and you say you’re not drunk? look at you! why are you crying?!” you raised both brows in confusion, stroking his hair softly.

you’re supposed to be cussing him out for all the hurt he’s caused you, for leaving with absolutely no explanation, yet here you are, combing your cold fingers through his sweaty strands as he bawls into your shoulder. you’ve seen him like this more often than not; always manages to surprise you, though.

“i’m not drunk…. ‘m sorry” he hesitated, wiping the wetness from his eyes with the back of his hand. as you realize how close your bodies are, you nod, circling around him.

yeonjun turned, biting his lip. he wants to say something. you know he wants to say something, but he’s holding back and it’s making you anxious and impatient.

“would you maybe…want to leave?” you blink, all previous feelings of discomfort disappearing. “what’re you planning?” you question, crossing your arms as you sternly stare at him.

“maybe grab some drinks and then go to my place?” he smiled, which quickly disappeared when you displayed a doubting look. “i mean, i just want to talk to you…without all the noise…and the multitude of people.” your heart shattered, and you were sure your eyes softened, because his did too.

“fine.” yeonjun’s ears perk up, big smile on his face. “let’s go.” you nodded, grabbing his arm before he left the kitchen.

“i’m driving.”

“but-“ his eyebrows furrowed, “no buts, deny it all you want, we’re not risking it.” he sighed, defeat poking through the pout on his lips. he lowly hummed in agreement, walking out of the kitchen with you trailing close behind.

“home sweet home!” yeonjun exclaimed, arms flying in the air as the bag of soju dangled in his hand. “yeonjun, be quiet, it’s late.” you slowly grabbed his arm, taking the bag of soju away. “i shouldn’t have allowed you to drink on the way here.” you sighed, placing the bag on the counter and taking out the already opened box of soju.

he pouted, stumbling towards the little coffee table that sat in the middle of his living room. “bring some soju, please!” he slurred.

you grabbed the box, nestling it under your arm as you made your way towards drunk yeonjun.

you sat down, setting the box on the coffee table. “oh…i forgot to bring shot glasses.” you groaned, fixing to stand up when yeonjun stopped you.

“no, it’s okay. i’ll go get them.” he smiled, patting your hand.

“but-“

“it’s okay.” he shook his head, standing up and making his way to the kitchen.

in a matter of seconds, he was back, sitting in front of you with soju in hand, two shot glasses already set on the table.

yeonjun held the bottle from the bottom with one hand, and swirled it vigorously with the other. you watched him closely, how his hands wrapped around the bottle, you wonder how they’d feel on your face-

“yn?” you blinked, snapping back into reality. “yes? i’m sorry.” you gulped, noticing a full shot glass in front of you.

as you were about to reach for the glass, you stopped midway. sighing as you plopped your arm down on the table. yeonjun noticed this and raised a brow, “is everything…alright?” he asked, pouring soju into his glass.

“yes…and no.” you admitted, “i mean i just…i missed this, you know? spending time with you. i missed being here. i missed this apartment.” you paused, staring at yeonjun who was now looking down at his thighs.

“i missed you.” you leaned forward, arms now crossed on the table. yeonjun snapped his head up, quickly grabbing his glass and gulping the liquid down.

“ahhh…” he set the glass down, frowning as the liquid burned his throat. “i missed you too yn…” he smiled weakly, you realized he wasn’t in the right mind for all the sappy stuff right now, so you decided to change the subject.

“tell me, what have you been up to?” you smiled, grabbing your glass, tilting your head to the side as you swallow the drink.

“me? hm…not much….” yeonjun leaned forward, smile spread across his flushed cheeks.

✸ ✸ ✸

you lost track of time, it seemed. but you weren’t the only one. yeonjun, too, lost track of how many shots he took. not that it mattered, he was already drunk out of his mind to begin with. “baby…..” he slurred, reaching out to you as you gasped. baby?? are you serious??

“yeonjun what…” you decided to stop yourself, not even questioning anything that came out of his mouth.

after looking around for a minute, you groaned. there is so much to clean up.

an unfinished 20 pack of soju on the table; only 4 remaining, some snack wrappers thrown on the table, and a drunk yeonjun who can’t even utter a proper sentence.

“‘m s’sorry” he hiccuped, head lulling as he smiled like an idiot. his lips glistened under the dim light, most likely from all the constant licking and drinking he’s been doing.

“let me take you to your room so you can sleep.” he shook his head violently, backing up against the sofa behind him as you made your way to him.

“no!” he pouted, looking at you with tears brimming his eyes. “oh you’re such a child, come on let’s go!” yeonjun pushed your hand off his arm, whining.

you stopped and huffed, sitting down beside him in order to comfort him, “why are you crying?”

“i f…feel like shit” he cried, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. “why do you feel that way?” you knew this was just a drunk fit of his, but you had to at least hear him out.

“‘cuz i ruined my chance with the person i love” he sniffles, staring into your eyes with his teary ones. you blinked, wiping his tears with your thumbs. “and who may that be?” you question, stroking his shoulder in a comforting manner.

“you.” you inhale sharply, blinking in confusion. you shook your head, chuckling awkwardly, “you’re just drunk, come on.” yeonjun stopped protesting, defeated by his own tiredness.

you wrapped his arm over your shoulder, dragging him while leaning against the walls for support. “goddamnit, what have you been eating? you’re so heavy.” you strain, sighing in relief as your eyes find his bedroom door.

opening the door was one thing, laying him on the bed was another. you pant, his body weighing you down. as a result you slipped and fell.

on top of him.

jesus fuck.

you froze when he groaned. “i’m so sorry!” you scrambled to stand up, but he grabbed your arm and pulled you against him.

“sleep with me tonight, please.” yeonjun whispered, lazy smile spreading across his face. you shake your head, “yeonjun, you’re drunk. we can’t be doing this. you’re not in the right mind!” you faintly shake your head, “please?” he insisted.

you sighed, pressing your forehead against his chest. “fine. but i will be leaving first thing in the morning.” he chuckled, nodding. “if you want to get comfortable, my shirts are over there-“ he hiccuped. you nodded and patted his chest in understanding. “just sleep, okay?? i’ll be right back.” yeonjun hummed, closing his eyes.

you wake up groggy and disoriented, staring at the window as a ray of sunshine peeked through the curtain, making you squint and smile lazily.

you rub the sleep from your eyes and stretch, “good mor-“ you stop as you notice yeonjun isn’t in bed with you anymore. you look around the room once more, no sign of him.

a pang of worry and confusion washed over you. one would think it’s stupid considering the fact that you’re in his house, yet you can’t help but be alarmed.

what if he left you again?

‘oh that’s stupid, yn. pull yourself together.’ you shake your head and scoff, but the panic settles at the pit of your stomach nonetheless.

throwing the blanket to the side, you stand, yawning as you wobble towards the door.

“yn-“ yeonjun stops, doorknob in one hand and breakfast tray in the other. he eyed you as you stood there, eyes wide in confusion.

yeonjun blinked, “good morning?…” he lets out a breathy laugh, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him with his foot. “i made you breakfast.” you felt your heart squeeze at that. he smiled, walking over to the bed and signaling you to lay down.

and you did. you laid down, placing the warm blankets back on your body and smoothing them over in order to create a flat enough surface for the breakfast tray.

“thank you so much..” you gush as yeonjun placed the tray in front of you. he sat down, crossing his legs and smiling like a total idiot.

“you’ve been nothing but smiles since you walked in the room…did something happen?” you question, making yeonjun hang his head with an even bigger smile on his face. “you look so beautiful.” he mumbled, adjusting his position on the bed.

“what?” you looked up, cheek stuffed with food. he snorted, scooting forward and leaning towards you. “i said,” he wiped your lip with his thumb, eyes traveling to yours, holding them dearly. “you look so beautiful.” he chuckled at your expression, making his heart skip a beat.

“you’re making a mess, be careful, yeah?” you grab the tray, placing it to one side as you choke on your food. yeonjun stands with you, stroking your arms with his soft hands.

“hey, you alright?” you nodded, grabbing onto his shoulder for support. “it’s just…” you stopped, swallowing the lump in your throat. “you caught me off guard, that’s all.” yeonjun’s eyes softened, “i meant it.” he caressed your face as a warm smile tugged at his lips.

“why…why are you being so nice to me?” you stepped away from his hold, sitting back down on the soft bed. he sighed and flopped down beside you, staring at the curtains that blocked the sunlight.

“because i’m in love with you.” his eyes traveled from the window to you, “i’ve been in love with you.” you waver, eyes widening in confusion. “and i don’t want to mess up again.”

“so last night-“

“i remember.” yeonjun nodded, fidgeting with his thumbs as he bit his bottom lip. “i guess i was drunk enough to let that slip but not enough to forget.” he reasoned, gazing at you briefly before staring at his feet.

“it’s okay if you don’t want anything to do with me, i mean-“ you placed a hand on his, drawing circles on it with your thumb. “yeonjun, im in love with you too.” he stopped, shifting on the bed.

“what?…”

“im in love with you too.”

he stuttered, mouth opened for a few seconds before closing it again. you saw the glint in his his eyes before being pulled into a hug.

a long, warm, cozy hug.

a hug you’ve been craving for a while.

his hug.

you broke into tears, nuzzling your face into his shoulder. “oh god, yn, i’m deeply sorry. i’ve hurt you so much.” yeonjun ran his fingers through your hair, cooing softly.

you stained his shirt, but he didn’t care,“i missed you so much, you know? we stopped talking for so long. i thought i lost you for real…” you say between sobs, lightly punching his chest.

“i forgive you, dumbass.” he stayed quiet, you’re too nice. he didn’t deserve you, he didn’t deserve your forgiveness. yet you gave it. you gave something so precious to someone who doesn’t even deserve a single look from you.

yeonjun held your face in his hands, wiping your tears with his thumbs. he smiled, “how about this, you finish breakfast and then we can go wherever you want. i’ll explain myself. i’ll explain everything.” you nod slowly, grinning.

“there’s my yn, i missed you.” he quipped, earning himself a slap to his arm. he winced, rubbing the spot.

“is this a date then?” you question, grabbing another bite of your once forgotten food.

“hmmmmmmm” yeonjun tapped his chin, laughing as you whine. “yes dummy, it is.” he flicked your forehead lightly as you giggled.

you grab his arm, “let’s get ready then.” yeonjun didn’t budge as you tried dragging him along, “but the food…” you shook your head, “it’s gone cold, plus i know you’re somewhat hung over so let me treat you to food, hm?” you tapped his hand reassuringly.

“yn-“

“i’m not taking no for an answer.” he pursed his mouth, slowly nodding in defeat.

“perfect, where do you want to go?”

“how about…”

you both disagreed the entire way to the bathroom, laughing and giggling as jokes were thrown around between sentences.

you missed this.

you missed yeonjun.

he was willing to start over, and you were willing to let it happen.

💌: im sorry this is lwk ass, i hope you enjoyed regardless! please make sure to leave a like, comment, and reblog!! thank you 🫶

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keyotos · 1 year ago

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11:42 ⎯ alhaitham

summary ⎯ you wake up from your nap to find alhaitham in the kitchen. eating a certain... delicacy.

tags ⎯ fluff. established relationship. reader is famous. alhaitham is teasing. can b taken as canon or modern!au. a little suggestive ig.

tana's words ⎯ this man makes me so sick. also i'm reading my reason to die rn on webtoon and this is inspired by that.

your eyes slowly open as you wake up in alhaitham's bed. it's late: you can tell by how dark it is outside and how it's completely silent in the house. kaveh and alhaitham weren't bickering anymore, so that's another indication of the time.

much to your dismay, you did not wake up to find alhaitham next to you. the bed was empty and cold, signifying that he did not fall asleep next to you at all. you huff a little at that, wondering where your adorable boyfriend was when you needed him.

you realize that you're only wearing his shirt with only underwear underneath. the temperature is perfect right now: not too hot or too cold, and you wonder if it's because of your attire or if alhaitham turned the temperature down just for you.

whatever the reason may be, you feel wide awake. wide awake and ready to find your boyfriend. it had been ages (a few weeks) since you last saw him. you were in inazuma for an advertisement; seeing that most of the restrictions have been lifted, and a certain commissioner proposed an idea for you to come to inazuma to repair it's relations with other countries.

it was a fun trip, but you felt a little homesick. specifically, you really just missed your boyfriend and felt the need to come back to him immediately. there had been so many things going on before you had gone to inazuma, and that means much less time spent with your lover.

but now, you're here. he, however, is nowhere to be found.

you step out of alhaitham's room, stretching a little bit before you continue your journey to the kitchen, before you find the bastard in front of you. alhaitham is in the kitchen, helping himself out to some yogurt as he stands in the dim kitchen's light.

he doesn't seem to notice when you sneak up behind him. you wrap your arms around his waist as you lean into his back, sighing into him. you sound so happy, so blissful when you're near him. you nuzzle your face into his shoulder blade, making alhaitham tilt his head back to look at yours.

"so now you decide to wake up?" alhaitham turns around and quietly laughs, suppressing a smile of his own when he sees you pout.

your lips form a line, "i was tired, okay? isn't it your job as a boyfriend to take care of me and take naps with me? where were you during all of this?" you nag and poke at his broad chest. you really missed that.

alhaitham takes another bite out of his yogurt, "i did take care of you," he flicked your forehead, "who do you think put you in those clothes?" he coyly raised an eyebrow.

you, who was starting to get a little too flustered to speak, pressed your forehead into his chest, "i think you just wanted to see me naked."

alhaitham rolls his eyes, placing his yogurt next to him on the counter and then proceeds to lean on it, his arms propping him up. the sight wanted to make you drool, but you hold back on that urge for now.

"i see. so, now i can't care for you," alhaitham taunts you, a smile nearly appearing on his face.

you prop yourself onto the kitchen island, legs dangling freely, "well, that can only be true if you ever cared about me in the first place," you refute, a smirk appearing on your lips, "which, you didn't, since you left me in bed alone."

alhaitham shrugs, "i was bored and i wanted to finish my book," he then held up the yogurt cup, "i was also hungry."

you hmph, "left me for book and food," you scornfully shake your head. that's when you notice that something doesn't make sense here. alhaitham isn't usually a yogurt eater. there were also not many dishes in sumeru that used yogurt in their dishes either.

"hey," you start, pointing to alhaitham's yogurt cup, "since when did you start eating yogurt? i thought you didn't like soupy dishes."

alhaitham grabs the yogurt cup, looks at it for a second, and then stirs the contents around. he doesn't seem to oppose the dish, but he doesn't look quite enamoured with it either. though, that could just be his face.

"yogurt is not a soupy dish," he responds, looking at you while still stirring the yogurt. he walks closer to you, coming in between your legs now. he's close, though, you wish he was closer.

but right now, you focus on his response, "what do you mean? it's semi-liquidy. kind of thick, though it really depends on the one you get. and it's like the same thing as soup but slightly thicker and more fruity," you look at alhaitham in a confused way, as if he just asked if sunsettias and zaytun peaches were the same thing.

alhaitham merely shrugs in return, taking another spoonful of yogurt into his mouth, "it's not that bad."

now that alhaitham has moved directly in between your legs, you can make out the brand of the yogurt he was eating. he was never the type of person to eat cuisine like that, so the brand piqued your interest. maybe it was so good that it swayed alhaitham's (out of all people) mind.

it's the same brand you advertised in inazuma. the logo and design were present on the cup alhaitham held right now. you can see what flavor alhaitham chose: lavender melon. you wanted to shudder. it was by far one of the most strangest flavors out of the pack. you liked the dango milk one far more, and wondered if alhaitham had some in the fridge.

while you stare at the cup, another thing catches your gaze. alhaitham's spoon takes the remaining yogurt and slowly lifts it up to his lips. he's so close to you that you can watch the movements so intensely, so attuned to the way his mouth slightly parts as he spoons the food into his mouth. he licks the spoon clean of its contents, staring at you the entire time. alhaitham chuckles, making your eyes jump up into his.

"you must... really like that yogurt," your eyes dash away from his, now looking at the yogurt cup he's placed next to you. alhaitham only smiles.

"well," somehow, he moves closer to you, now almost brushing the tip of your nose, "only because a certain someone advertised it," he whispers to your lips. he says it in such a low tone; it's seductive; it's addicting and you swear that he drives you insane.

a wave of flusterment and frazzledness washes throughout your body. you don't know if you want to curl into a ball and hide out of bewilderment or if you want to cling onto your lovely boyfriend and never let go.

you tilt your head away from him, a whirlwind of pleasurable emotions coursing through your body, "you have to stop doing that," you say in an equally low tone as his. you feel your face heating up as well, and it seems like alhaitham may need to turn the thermostat down more, because it suddenly seems very hot in this room.

"stop doing what?" he asks cheekily and leans in closer, as if he's unaware of what he's doing. his index and thumb find their way on your jaw, angling your face back towards his. he has you in his grasp now, which compels you to only look at his face. his strong gaze holds you in place, even though his touch against your jaw is so gentle and tender.

you have to bite your lip to fight off the grin, "stop being so cute." in the end, you fail, because you end up beaming anyways.

alhaitham thinks you're one to talk. it's ironic that he's the one who should stop being so cute. how could anyone not melt to the ground when they see you? it's something alhaitham tries to fight off every day, but succumbs to it anyway. you're too endearing, too easy to adore, crave, and cherish. the sight of you brings light and warmth and security. you bring smiles and soft touches and good-night kisses before bed. you can illuminate countless lives with one smile. you shine your sun on alhaitham's life, and he could not be more grateful.

he smiles, fully smiles, and lets himself indulge in this quiet moment between the two of you. it's late, so there are no distractions (kaveh). just this once, you two have a peaceful night. alhaitham's other hand comes up and brushes some hair out of your face, caressing you gently as his fingers move throughout your head.

you don't know how leaned in first, but you're pretty certain it was alhaitham. his hands are both placed on your jaw as he pulls you in to finally put his lips on yours. he's waited hours for this; alhaitham didn't want to kiss you right away, especially when you were exhausted from all your traveling. but now, you're here. you're home, and you're right in front of him. and well, he simply couldn't help himself.

one of his hands removes themself from your jaw and moves down to your hips, slightly lifting up the shirt that covers them. your hand moves up to alhaitham's neck, pulling him even closer into your body than before. you two were chest to chest now, alhaitham still in between your legs.

alhaitham slips a hand underneath your underwear, wanting to feel the bare skin underneath. in result, you wrap one of your legs around him, trying to get him as close as possible. you deepen the kiss: he tastes like lavender melon, and though you usually hate the flavor, you move past it this one time to keep yourself attached to his lips.

alhaitham only gets a few seconds to breath as he departs his lips from yours. your eyes were drooping and you were practically lunging at him to come back to you. alhaitham removes his hands from your hips and unbuttons the first two buttons of your shirt, leaving the top of your chest revealed.

he immediately dives back into your kiss, this time his hands moved sporadically up and down your shirt (which was actually his), rubbing your torso. your hands that were once wrapped around the nape of his neck moved to his shoulders, holding on as he feverishly kissed your lips.

he kissed down your neck as he moved to remove the rest of the buttons of your shirt. once your shirt was completely unbuttoned, he chose to let it simply fall over your chest, still revealing most of what he wanted to see.

"guess you missed me a lot, huh?" you winked, running your hands through alhaitham's hair, "you watch my advertisements, buy a whole pack of yogurt in my name⎯even if it's the worse one⎯and now this?" you list off, an easy smile settling onto your face.

alhaitham only laughs softly, "yeah, i really did miss you," he gives you one of his small smiles. you feel yourself heating up again, and this time, it was not because of your previous make-out session.

you bury your face into his shoulder, "you know, it's no fun when you agree."

alhaitham lifted your face away from his shoulder, holding your head in his hands, "i thought you hated it when i disagreed with you?"

curse him and his stupid memory. "you're exhausting me. i'm feeling sleepy," you try and deflect the conversation before he could bring up any other things you said. at first, you thought having a thoughtful and observant boyfriend was a blessing. now, it may be a curse.

"after you just napped?" alhaitham gave you a skeptical look, "what, did i wear you out too much?" he then followed his previous skeptical look with a cockier one. it only made you huff in response.

you rolled your eyes, "no," maybe, "tired, remember? but if you want, we could always continue this tomorrow," you suggest with a lift in your tone. alhaitham will gladly partake in what you're suggesting.

"we'll see," he grabs the discarded yogurt cup and throws it into the trash. then, alhaitham grabs you by your thighs, hoisting you up to wrap your legs around his waist. you quickly do so, just in case you fell (as much as alhaitham threatens this, he would never let that happen to you, but you aren't aware of this fact). "unless you sleep until one in the afternoon again," alhaitham adds.

you narrow your eyes, even though alhaitham couldn't see you, "i will not."

he places you down onto the bed so delicately, as if you were going to break if he set you down too harshly. you don't know why, considering your many nights beforehand, but you still appreciate the gesture.

the room is dark compared to the kitchen's light. it's so dark that you couldn't even see your boyfriend's face. but you do recognize when the bed dips. alhaitham lays right next to you, placing his hand on the small of your back as he holds you.

your hand searches his body as you try to find his cheek. once your hand cups it, you try your best to aim a small peck on there. you miss, ending up kissing somewhere near his jawline, but alhaitham doesn't let you know that.

"goodnight," you nestle yourself into his chest and let out a relaxed sigh, "i love you. even though you choose shitty yogurt flavors."

alhaitham lets out a small laugh in response, and your chest fills a little bit at the noise, "not my fault you don't know how to eat," he kisses the top of your head, "goodnight. i love you more."

another two am fic

#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#HE MAKES ME SO SICK.#I CANNOT STAND HIM #hsr 1.2 coming out in one day YK WHAT THAT MEANS #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x you #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #does yogurt exist in canon?????#it should bc its delicious

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