#read a rly good one that my friend dropped at my feet today and i've been craving more like a horrible addiction

[lotus-pear]

You've gave us domestic knkdz hcs now im asking for the angst one (im allergic to happiness)

oh? bet.

• the tragic knowledge of dazai sustaining mortal wounds on precarious missions and kunikida being unable to use his ability for first-aid and staunch the flow from the wound because any notebook-manifested bandages will simply turn to bloodied pieces of paper the moment they come into contact with his skin.

• kunikida mentions that in his earliest missions he would cry for days and be unable to come to work when people he was unable to save died. at low points like these, dazai would directly confront him and tell him he could not save everyone, no matter how much effort he put in--it was the inherent nature of the world. conversations like these led kunikida to take greater action instead of mourning.

• kunikida also says he visits the graves of those who died on missions, as a way of honoring them and being unable to save them. although dazai does not share this guilt, he will accompany him as they silently stand together in the graveyard. more often than not, they each bring flowers to lay at the tombstones.

• dazai seeing kunikida as the ultimate culmination of oda, both through preservation of ideals in a cruel society that seems hellbent on destroying them, and also intrinsically one of the only people that has any moral justness in a corrupt world. one of the reasons he likely latches so hard onto kunikida. the initial grief from oda's death was likely in the back of his mind...only to bittersweetly resurface when he sees him again in partner. he was enamoured from the start.

• kunikida learning about dazai being port mafia would not turn him away because of the atrocities he committed and the people he murdered. more likely, he would be shocked about the things dazai was forced to do. he would look at dazai in pity, not disgust.