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angelasscribbles · 15 days

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Audrey's Broken Heart

Fandom: Astrea's Broken Heart (Romance Club)

Pairings: Audrey (F!MC) x multiple LI's

Word Count: 2,479

Rating: MA for mentions of violence

Warnings for this chapter: mentions of violence (canon), slight sexual innuendo.

A/N: So that last chapter (season 2, chapter 1) left something to be desired in my mind. So I rewrote it and tweaked a few things.

I have no idea who to tag other than @harleybeaumont because I don't know who is into this story and I can't even remember the RC blog that is like CFWC so here it goes out into the ether. May the odds be ever in it's favor!

My other stuff: Master List.

The world spun as I lay on my back, gazing up at the stained glass window above me.

So this is how I die.

The fucking irony.

I had escaped one religious cult only to fall victim to another… after a lifetime of avoiding and rejecting even the most mundane churches and religious philosophies.

How? How had I ended up here?

This was Ruth’s fault.

Assigning blame wouldn’t help me now. I needed help, but there was no one to call. My cell phone was gone, and no one even knew where I was. Instead, I prayed. I prayed to a God I had ceased to believe in. I prayed fervently as I cast my eyes around the church searching for a way out… a weapon… an ally…. Anything of use.

There was nothing.

Nothing and no one. And no response from God.

I closed my eyes against the inevitable. A deep, all-encompassing grief spread through me.

I wasn’t ready to die.

Faces flashed through my mind, but not the ones you would think.

It wasn’t my parents or a lost love that occupied my dying thoughts. No. It was the four men who had inexplicably become my whole world.

David. He had offered to come with me or at least drive me here, but I hadn’t let him. I should have let him. But then he’d be in the same predicament. David. Sweet, sarcastic, passionate. The world needed him in it. At least I could die knowing he was safe. That was some amount of comfort.

Mikael. Would he be disappointed? Sad? I thought so, but I wasn’t sure. There seemed to be a connection between us, but nothing tangible, nothing ever spoken. He was the consummate professional. He would be there to comfort the others.

Cassiel. His job was to protect us. Where was he now? Would he blame himself? I hoped not. He was already too serious, too angry at the world. Despair filled me as I realized that the progress we’d made would die with me. All those cracks in his armor would refill and seal shut forever.

Raphael. He lived with a deep, pervasive sadness. This would only make it worse. It might destroy him. He was too good for this world. Compassionate. Caring. Vulnerable. As I lay dying, I swore I could feel his soft lips on mine again.

There was a commotion and my eyes fluttered open, but what I saw didn’t make any sense. Or maybe it did.

I saw an angel, which was appropriate because I was dying. Had he come to collect my soul?

I could feel my life slipping away. I was too weak to fight anymore, too weak to even cry out for help, too weak to understand what was happening around me.

No one was trying to kill me anymore. The cult members had scattered. A booming voice filled the room, promising damnation and darkness.

The angel was raining vengeance down on the evildoers. It would have made me happy if I’d had the energy to feel anything at all.

Through the last vestiges of consciousness, my fog addled brain registered something wholly impossible.

The angel…. It was Raphael.

My eyes closed again as I sank into the darkness.

The next thing I was aware of was the warmth of my own bed.

My body was leadened. I couldn’t move or speak, but I knew I was home, and more importantly, alive.

Barely.

I was vaguely aware of voices as I faded in and out of consciousness. Distressed murmurs. Fervent pleas to live. Voices that rose and fell in discord and grief.

When my eyes opened, I was in a verdant valley of lush green grass and rolling hills. The sky above me was a vibrant blue.

Across the valley was a glimmering golden light pulsating from an open portal. I could feel the peace emanating from it. I felt pulled toward it. I wanted to go to it, enter it, and forget all the pain and chaos of the world I’d left behind, but when I took a step toward it, I felt an equally compelling pull in the other direction. I turned to look back and found myself staring down at my own body.

Mikael perched next to me holding my hand, heedless of the blood covering it, and now him. “I can’t hear her.” His voice was filled with despair.

I felt his touch and the pull to go back became slightly stronger. I took a step in that direction and paused again, casting a glance back at that golden glow that promised peace.

My mother appeared beside me. Laying her hand on my shoulder, she gave me a look filled with compassion, love, and regret. “It’s up to you if you go back or not.”

“Mom?” My voice quivered. I opened my mouth but couldn’t decide which of the million questions spilling through my head I should ask.

Before I could process the fact that my mother was with me, that I was being offered a choice between continuing life or not; before I could ask her anything, the pull from my body grew stronger.

“You were sent to us for a reason, Audrey…”

I looked back to see Mikael holding my body close to his. Mikael covered in my blood. Mikael pouring his healing energy into my broken body. Mikael with tears of grief pouring down his face. My choice was made, and I was suddenly back in my body.

“I’m sorry, Audrey, but healing souls is beyond my power…”

What power was he talking about? I still couldn’t speak, couldn’t open my eyes. Everything hurt. He lowered me onto the bed and laid his head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat. He started to pull away from me, but I finally managed to move, wrapping my arms around him weakly.

He froze. Hope filled his voice. “Audrey?”

I clutched at him tighter, and he moved so that he was lying next to me, cradling me in his arms. “It’s okay, Audrey. I’m here, I’m here.”

“Audrey?” It was Raphael’s voice, and it flooded me with memories of dying. Quiet but terrified sounds issued from the back of my throat.

He tried again. “Audrey, you are home. You are safe.”

Yes. Home. Safe. Raphael was here, Mikael was here. I was safe. My eyes fluttered open and my heart surged with joy and relief when I saw his face. Then my gaze dropped to his white shirt, rumpled and soaked in blood. Was it my blood? Or the blood of the cult members?

No. That was impossible.

The image of Raphael as an avenging angel came back to me, and I swear I saw him that way again. Standing in my bedroom at Astrea, glowing with wings sprouting from his back. I clutched harder to Mikael as I shrank away from him.

Pain flashed through Raphael’s eyes. “Audrey, I saved you. I’m not trying to hurt you.”

I blinked several times. One moment he had wings, the next moment he didn’t. I was losing my mind. Of course Raphael would never hurt me.

Mikael held me tight and reassured me. “It’s okay, Audrey. Raphael would never hurt you.” Then to Raphael, “She’s been through a trauma. She needs time.”

“Of course, I’ll go.” He sounded so broken that my heart shattered.

“Wait!” I cried out. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Audrey. Would you like me to take away the memory?”

I blinked up at him as he approached. “What?”

“I can take away the memory of what you saw.”

“How?”

He gave me a sad smile. “The same way Mikael healed you. There are things about us that you don’t know. Your memories will be recoverable, but this will give your mind a chance to heal before we confront all that.”

“No.” I shook my head as a vision of my mother in a verdant meadow flashed through my mind. “Don’t take my memories. Just…. Hold me for a moment?”

Mikael released me as I was engulfed in Raphael’s arms. I clung to him as if my life depended on it. He had saved me. Twice now. The memory of him catching me when I had fallen swirled through my mind. I had no idea what he was or if my mind had been playing tricks on me in that church, but to the very core of my soul, I knew that this being would never hurt me. None of them would. The tears started as my body began to shake, a delayed reaction to the horror I had experienced.

A clatter in the hallway drew everyone’s attention. Mikael excused himself to check on it. I heard raised voices in the hallway. Mikael’s and David’s.

Snippets of the conversation floated in to me. Enough to discern that David had done something to the villagers and that Mikael wasn’t happy about it.

I pushed away from Raphael and looked up into his face. “Let him in. I want David. Please!”

I needn’t have asked. The next moment, he was barging through the door. “Audrey! Audrey, are you okay?”

I pushed myself up into sitting as he threw himself onto the bed. Another man covered in blood, but not mine. David hadn’t been there like Raphael and he wasn’t the one that had healed me like Mikael.

The cult members. The villagers. I instinctively knew whose blood it was and why. He hadn’t been there in time to rescue me, but he had avenged me, and I loved him for it.

“I think so,” I answered as he pulled my body this way and that, inspecting me for injuries. When he was satisfied that I was no longer dying, he embraced me fiercely as tears slipped down his face. “I thought we had lost you!”

“I’m here. I’m alive. Thanks to Raphael and Mikael.”

Raphael wrapped his arms around me from the other side, and the three of us sat that way for a long while.

When David pulled away to wipe the wetness from his face, I looked around the room to find Mikael standing awkwardly at the end of the bed. I gave him a weak smile. There was only one person missing.

Before I could ask where he was, Cassiel appeared in the doorway, as if summoned by my thoughts.

“How is she—” his question was cut short as his eyes fell on me sitting up in the bed.

He then did the most un-Cassiel thing I’d ever seen. A smile of relief and joy lit up his face as he bound across the room and leapt onto the bed unceremoniously knocking the other men out of his way as he scooped me into his arms and hugged me firmly against him while raining kisses on the top of my head. “Audrey, you’re alive!”

“Yes!” a laugh burst out of me despite the terror I’d been through. Cassiel acting like an over exuberant puppy was possibly even more surprising and unlikely than me being kidnapped by a deranged cult.

I looked around at the other three men, but none of them seemed upset at being displaced.

David was a little bemused while Raphael radiated nothing but happiness. Mikael wore a thoughtful expression as his eyes traveled from me to each of the other men.

The image of wings sprouting from Raphael’s back was still occasionally there when I gazed at him, but it was fading as I convinced myself that part had been a dream.

But I was healed. Raphael had managed to save me somehow. Mikael had done something to bring me back. Raphael had admitted to having powers. And David had somehow gotten to the village and back in a time frame that didn’t seem wholly possible.

I pushed all of that to the side. There would be time for questions later. I needed a shower. And food.

Cassiel released me and moved away as if suddenly embarrassed by his outburst. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I told him before requesting privacy for a shower.

I stood before the bathroom mirror and inspected my body. There were no cuts, scrapes, bruises, or other signs of the torture I had endured.

How was that possible?

I hugged myself for a moment before stepping under the spray of hot water. Whatever had happened, I was happy to be alive and whole again. At least physically.

When I emerged from the shower, there were fresh, clean sheets on my bed. I sank into it gratefully.

One by one, the guys showed back up. Mikael brought food with him. I devoured it. I guess almost dying works up an appetite. I noticed they had all showered and changed as well. All physical proof of my ordeal had been erased. My body had been healed. My mind and soul were going to take a little longer.

Cassiel was the first to move toward the door. “I guess we should get out of here and let you get some rest.”

My cheeks flamed red as I stared down at my comforter and asked, “Could one of you stay?”

David spoke up immediately. “I’ll stay!”

“We’ll take turns.” Mikael’s tone brooked no disagreement.

“Fine,” David acquiesced, “I’ll take the first shift.”

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Raphael said. “You’ve been through a horrible ordeal. It’s normal to need support.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“I’ll be here in two hours to relieve you,” Cassiel told David, then turning his attention to me said, “We won’t leave you alone and I promise no one will ever hurt you again.”

Something in his tone made my heart race. I believed him.

The others trailed out of the room. Someone clicked the light off.

David gazed at me with the same intensity he always did, but all the playfulness was gone. “Tell me what you need, little witch.”

The familiar nickname earned a small smile from me as I snuggled into the covers. “Just talk to me until I fall asleep.”

“I can do that.”

“Would it be weird if I asked you to lay in the bed with me?”

His mischievous grin finally returned. “If I ever say no to that, go ahead and shoot me because I’ve clearly lost my mind.”

“Stop it,” I scoffed, “I’m serious!”

“So am I.”

He climbed into bed and tenderly wrapped his arms around me. As if he were afraid I would break. “Is this okay?”

“Yes.” My body relaxed into his. I listened to the sound of his voice as the horror of the day receded a little.

As I slipped off to sleep, I knew one thing for certain. Everything bad that had ever happened to me had happened outside these walls. Whatever was going on in here, I was safe. I was surrounded by love. I was home.

#romance club #rc abh #rc david #rc cassiel #rc mikael #rc raphael #angelasscribbles #rc fanfic #rc fanfiction

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webanglikethat · 4 months

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an aftermath of episode 8, a life for a life. (a Devi and Ram oneshot)

also available to read here: ao3 published: 2024-06-06 words: 5,123 btw if you read this and don’t leave a comment a fairy will lose her wings

Devi held herself high, walking towards the garden, almost as if hiding behind dirt and leaves could alleviate her anxiety. she couldn't wrap her head around what had just happened, but she couldn’t let anyone know, she couldn’t let the truth slip … how ironic, how could she demand the truth, if she herself was a vessel overflowing with falsity? and yet she ran, for she knew how to do that the best after all. she had come out of the meeting with Mr Vaish, a meeting whose ending she could not have fathomed, not even in the wildest vision of her most ardent migranes. a meeting in which she had discovered a truth that had been eluding her for five years, a truth hiding right in front of her, a mindgame one might say.

Deviya Sharma was meant to die,and it was a fate she could not escape, for it had been demanded and forged by the Goddess herself.

Devi was going to die when she married Ian.

Devi was going to die, and it was going to be soon.

the prophecy had been clear and crystalline. the stars aligned to seal her destiny, perhaps even long before she drew her first breath, a victim of an inevitability that had haunted her before knowing it. this cruel revelation hung in the air like a haunting melody, echoing through the chambers of her mind, a symphony that could never cease to play from now on. tick tock, tick tock, so the clock laughed in her face, as time went on but she felt frozen in it, trapped in a glacier of her doing. the world seemed to shift beneath her feet, as if the dirth beneath the garden was stairs, and each step was an interminable reminder of the weight of the knowledge she now carried, opening and daring her to fall into the pit of her new reality. the truth, elusive and spectral, had finally unveiled itself. for half a decade, she had wandered through a labyrinth of uncertainty, her heart traveling alongside unanswered questions. but now she knew — and life would never be the same. so what was worse, she wondered, the not knowing or the knowing? which was more haunting, knowing she had been laughing and kissing her lover with an expiration date on her body, or now knowing the expiration date of not only herself, but their relationship too? how could she have not known? even a pig to slaughter would notice. the knowing was a double-edged sword. sure, it provided clarity, putting an end to the endless speculation and anxiety that had lingered in the back of her mind. but on the other hand, it brought a firm finality. the path ahead was now clear, but it was a path she had no desire to walk.

in those five years, she had seen it all; she had experienced deaths, some closer than she could process. she was lacerated with disappointment and she combatted grief, a companion that had accompanied her throughout it all, a constant reminder of that fateful night — the night her brother was taken from her and the flames of arson devoured their joint world, leaving behind an existence bereft of him and all the love she had ever known. her throat closed up as the memories surged back with a visceral force, just another force to add to the list of which she couldn't control nor possess. it was as if she were back in that burning mansion, on that damned mountain, that summer night. she could perceive it all again; from the heat searing her skin to the acrid smoke clawing at her lungs like a tiger approaching his victim. she could hear the crackling of the fire, feel the oppressive heat pushing her towards the brink of suffocation as panic gripped her chest and her heart pounded in her ears as the flames danced in her vision, a relentless specter from her past, an interminable hologram that repeated the same movie every. single. time. so welcome to the manuscript of grief, she said quietly to herself.

act one began, the lights dimmed and the flames rose. Devi could almost hear his voice, her beloved brother, beckoning her to Kamal, demanding of her to run, to just run and not look back, to hide in a safe place because it would be okay. but it wasn't okay, it surely hadn't been okay. Devi could almost smell the charred remains of their life, taste the bitterness of the loss that had settled in her mouth that night. the overwhelming dread, the frantic desperation, the helplessness, the screams, the pair of arms holding her back, scratches of nails as she fought, the clang of jewelry as she shook her face, rain mixing with tears —it was as if she were reliving the nightmare all over again.

but this time it was her life that was meant to flatline, and not his heart. (what a cruel twist, it seems the Sharma family is forever meant to star in a tragedy.)

losing her brother had felt like losing herself, as if a fragment of her soul had been cut away, shattered like their dream of a future in which they could live together in happy bliss. the taste of loss was more than a metaphor; it was a physical presence, a bitter, metallic tang that coated her mouth and refused to leave like a distant relative trying to claim what was hers. sometimes, in the middle of the night, she could swear she would sense it again — that smell of rotting flesh, the blaring and deafening gun, denying her brother of one last wish, an honorable death. and instead of running to him, she ran away, like she had promised him to, but that, my dearest goddess, didn't mean she was able to outrun the guilt. she knew it had been the right thing, the only route to ensuring her family legacy and her own safety, but it gnawed at her like a child tugging at his mother's skirt. she should've been with him that night. she should've protected him, she should've gotten him outside before anyone else, and she shouldn't have let Ram lead her away. this was her brother, half of her soul, the vessel of her blood, the echo of her existence, and she left him. and perhaps, she could have saved him, but the lasting fact is she will never know. and once again, she doesn't know what's worse: the not knowing, the guilt, or the what if, or the knowdlege that his presence had been forgotten, as she escaped the mansion with Ram. he hand't even been a thought in the back of her mind. and what is a sibling, if not the first to love you boundlessly, and the first to leave you shamelessly?

as she reached the end of the garden, hidden away from any gaze that would drown her with snotty remarks, Devi’s thoughts swirled like leaves caught in a tempest, and honestly, she thought to herself, comparing her life to a tempest was an understatement. it was a litote where each one was a fragment of the revelation of her path in life, or more accurately perhaps, the path to her death. the reality she had known, the life she had lived, now seemed like a mere fragile illusion, a puppet show designed for the immortals’ joys. how could she reconcile the world she knew with the truth that had just been unmasked? she couldn't hide it, not to herself at least. tomorrow she would wake up, raise her head proudly, wear her Sharma ring, adorn her body with jewelry others could only dream of wearing in the afterlife, participate in the Dozen's meeting, smirk and hold her foot down as she quickly remarked every word or action from the others, and she would smile as if nothing had happened, as if her life hadn't turned out to be a slaughtering transaction. she couldn't let them know and she wouldn't let them know — because any sign of weakness would be seized upon, a chink in her armor that could quickly unravel the balance of respect and authority she had fought so hard to attain along with the place she had so forcefully carved for herself in society. her presence was no longer personal, it was political. and she would do everything to not lose it, even if it meant losing herself first.

but that is the funny thing about attaching your existence to a role so strongly. the very armor you wear can become your prison. and sure, it gave Devi power and respect along with strength, but it subsequently isolated her from her own humanity. and yet, despite it all, she couldn't fraud herself into forgetting or into pretending this truth wasn't a ghost now living in her room and her mind, occupying every land and surface of her existence, as the British had done with her homeland.

and … how different truly, were the British from her destiny, she wondered. she knew it was a foolish comparison, one that could have her even imprisoned and exiled from the Dozen, because how could one compare the brutality of the invaders to the path forged by the merciful goddess herself? the British, with their seemingly insatiable hunger for power and domination, had carved a path of destruction through her land, leaving blood and hope behind every one of their footsteps. they had plundered and pillaged, leaving nothing but devastation in their wake. and the goddess — she was her creator. Devi was her child, but mothers often give birth to victims and not lovers, and Devi felt like a pawn in a game she hadn’t agreed to. so how different truly was the act of the British demolishing her country to the act of the Maharani demolishing her existence as she had known it? how difference is brutality truly, for isn’t it the same, regardless of names, status and history? the essence of brutality lies in its capacity to dehumanize and dominate, to destroy and relish in the chaos, to lead astray and drown the blindly faithful. power, whether human or divine, can be equally merciless. names and faces might change, but even a blind woman would agree that the suffering remains the same.

Devi had always been a fighter as her spirit was unbroken even by the worst trials she had faced. she hadn’t always been like this, but the death of her brother and the crowd of people beneath her, who urged her to give up her place in the Dozen, had turned her into a calculating woman. she had been a gentle and laughing child before, but she had to ice her heart because in a war between compassion and intellect, the winner was clear. “so this was no different”, she told herself. she could swim against the current, forging a new way forward. surely she could undo the reins of destiny, unstitch the tapestry of fate, and redo the prophecy. she has done this before, hadn’t she? she had showed everyone who told her a woman couldn’t possibly lead a family’s legacy that she in fact could. she could manage the finances, she could close a deal with the British Lord, she could gain the respect of Vaish, she could take part in meetings on her own without a guardian. she was Devi Sharma, head of her family, the last one remaining, a legacy standing longer than her grief so she would face whatever challenges came her way with the same stubborn determination that had carried her family through centuries. only time would tell whenever the manuscript of premeditated divine revelation would crumble first, or if it would be her stubborn heart.

as immersed as she was in her thoughts, she didn’t hear his footsteps, but she felt his presence and knew immediately who it was. she could’ve recognized him blindly, deafly even perhaps, though she wasn’t sure how that would work. after all, you do need ears to hear footsteps. she smiled to herself at her own joke. he hadn’t even approached her yet, and she was already joking around, if that wasn’t the premise of their relationship, then she didn’t know what it was. a lighthearted back and forth of teasing, of kissing between droplets of wine, of hiding behind curtains and dancing in front of thousands, of chase and run, of passion and a joy she wouldn’t have ever imagine.

Ram stood a few paces away, his expression a mix of concern and quiet determination, a mix she hadn’t seen before. his face used to be a shrine of teasing, of smirks and small smiles, which never truly left his face when she was around, but this time it was different. «Deviya», he said softly, his voice breaking through her reverie. he rarely called her by her full name, it had always been either Devi or Rakhasi — so called man-eaters monsters, his stupid yet loving nickname for her. but what better setting to use her name? so she turned to face him, her smile fading as the weight of the prophecy settled back on her shoulders. his fingers grazed her cheeks, as he often adored to do. that was the thing with Ram — he would always find an excuse to touch Devi; whether it was holding her hand to lead her somewhere, brushing his fingers over her cheek, cupping her face, putting a hand on her waist to surprise her, “trapping” her against the wall to kiss her, putting his finger on her lips, tracing words in her hair. it had always been a game of push and pull, of hide and seek. but it seemed now, they had been found and couldn’t hide, not from destiny, not from Ram’s duties as the goddess’s will’s interpreter, not from Devi’s imminent death. just uttering those words aloud asphyxiated the teasing out of Ram.

«Ram», she replied, trying to keep her voice steady. but Ram could see the turmoil in her eyes, the fear and uncertainty that had taken root — for it was a twin to the one in his own eyes. for how much she could try and hide it, Ram wasn't called a seer for nothing. he put his hand around her waist, bringing their bodies closer, as if the warmth of his body could ease the coldness of this reality, their new reality. «we can change this», he reassured her, but his eyelashes betrayed his calmness as they were shaking.

Devi let out a shaky breath, her eyes searching his, analyzing the face she had gone from finding annoying to being her only anchor in her slowly unraveling madness. «change this?» she echoed, a hint of her usual defiance creeping into her voice, the one he had learned to poke and to adore. "and how exactly do you plan to defy destiny, Ram? by charming the goddess with your smile? because that’s too egoistical even by your standards” she arched an eyebrow, looking directly at him with that signature smirk he had learned to trace even with his eyes closed at night, when he missed her the most.

Ram chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through his chest and into her, a sound she wishes she could trap into a bottle, perhaps a box, so wherever she went, she could have him with her. «if only it were that simple, my dearest demon. it might have worked with you, but I don’t think it will with her» he murmured, his hand sliding up her back to cradle her head. «but I’m serious. together, we are stronger than any prophecy. we will find a way. there is no way we were connected by Mahakali, if not because there is a way, an escape. nothing she does is ever a mistake, our connection is inescapable» his fingers grazed her lips and she leaned into his touch, her fingers gripping his shirt as if holding on to him could anchor her in this storm. «always the optimist„ she teased him, «you know, despite all the fun you make of my rule breaking streak and finding trouble even with eyes closed .. if this were a game, you'd be the one breaking all the rules». «and you'd be right there beside me», he countered, his lips brushing against her forehead, letting out a barely audible sigh. «my partner in crime, my rakhasi.» Devi's smile widened, her heart lifting slightly at his words. «well, someone has to keep you in check», she quipped. «we can’t have you, Mr Doobay, running off and getting us into more trouble than we are already in.» he laughed again, a rich, warm sound that made her momentarily forget the prophecy, as she wanted to just drown in it. Devi knew how to play many instruments, knew many dances, but she had never came across a tune she liked so much that she wanted to replay it and replay it until she went deaf from it. «I wouldn't have it any other way, miss Sharma», he said, his eyes locking onto hers with a determination that sent a shiver down her spine. «we will face this together, Devi. no matter what comes. I will be by your side, even if it means abandoning everyone else’s.»

Devi shook her head slightly, as if he just told her a joke, «how can you be by my side, when we are akin to spies in the shadows? we can’t shine in the daylight. you can’t be seen with me, I can’t be seen with you .. well not like this. we are both heirs to different legacies, so how can you promise me this?» she said, her voice shaking on the word promise. what were promises, if not meant to be broken? her brother had promised her it would be alright, but it hadn’t been. it hadn’t been, not since, not ever again. so how could she trust another promise, from another man, once again? but what she didn’t say was how she deeply dreamed to shine in the light, to raise her head proudly, him beside her, and shape her own destiny so whatever they had wouldn’t be a secret but kept akin to a prayer. for what distinction exists between the tender caress of a beloved upon her visage and the heavenly benediction bestowed upon the devout? what semblance does religion bear if not the tender embrace of her lover in the nocturnal hours? and what is prayer is not if not the fervent plea of "remain with me" uttered in the hushed dawn's embrace? what is love, if not the first religion you put your faith in?

«what are promises worth, Ram?». she continued, her tone filled with a bitter edge, shaking away her thoughts. «my brother promised to protect me, to keep our family safe, and look where that got us. promises are just words, easily broken and forgotten when the weight of the world comes crashing down. why should I believe that your promise is any different?», she asked him, almost immediately regretting the vulnerability she had let slip, like a secret she couldn’t contain. but it was alright, for she knew he would keep this moment their secret, as they already did with their relationship. it seemed they were both amazing liars and thieves of truths, just how ironic.

Ram didn’t hesitate for a single moment and pulled her closer, his embrace a fortress against the world, as if the weight of his body against her could calm her turmoil, as if that nearness could be healing. (to him it was). his gaze softened, as it often did when his thoughts traced back to her. «I can’t promise that it will be easy, or that we won’t face more challenges. we both are too smart to believe that. we could die trying, our names could be dragged into the mud if this was ever revealed, but I can promise that I will stand by you, fight for us, and never let you face anything alone. I know that together we have the power to redefine what our legacies mean and rewrite the story. lion and falcon, remember? we can take both the earth and the sky.»

Ram couldn’t believe his own words, since when had he become so sentimental? since when did he began thinking of offering himself to bear her weight? when had his mindless teasing turned into emotions he couldn’t put a label on? all his life Ram had known one thing; relationships weren’t meant to amuse or to revere. they were to carry their surname, carry the weight of their household, carry their legacy. relationships weren’t personal, they were political. an alliance, a partnership, a confederation of sorts, an union for a greater good — a good that was never considerate of his own.

but with Devi, everything was different. her laughter, her fiery spirit, her unwavering determination, her endless teasing, that raised eyebrows accompanied with her smirk, her eyes when she felt passionate about something, her quick remarks around him — she had so quickly become more than just a fleeting companion in his hidden world. he always joked that she was caught in his trap, but he now realized that if she was flame, he was the moth. the more he tried to distance himself, the more irresistibly he was drawn to her light. that was why he always searched for her in a herd of people, that was why he searched for her condescending smile during the Dozen’s meetings. Ram had always prided himself on his control and his ability to navigate the dance of duty and expectation with precision. but with Devi, all of that seemed to fall away. her presence ignited something within him, a longing he had never known, a longing he couldn’t put a name on. or maybe he could, but he wouldn’t admit it to himself. Ram had always believed that his life was predetermined, a series of obligations and roles he had to fulfill. it wasn’t a matter or if or when. it was a clear road ahead, made of stones he couldn’t turn around and demolish. he had to carry their name, get married, have an heir, and watch the story repeat, unfold in front of his eyes for decades to come. yet here he was, offering promises he never thought he’d make, driven by an impulse he couldn’t ignore, standing in front of a woman he shouldn’t pursue. now he knew; being trapped by her was more freedom than he had ever known.

Devi looked up at him, taking in the scent of lavender and sandalwood, a scent that already felt like her own when he pulled her towards him, «those in charge bend the rules to their will. you are my equal, and .. don’t you dare laugh», she interrupted her sentence, thinking Ram would make fun of her, of little miss Sharma comparing herself to a Doobay, but he didn’t tease her so she continued «we have enough power to change rule to suit ourselves.» Ram's eyes softened as he listened. there she was, the Devi he knew, the one who was able to find escapes in the darkness, solutions to problems no one else could. that was his girl, but for how much longer he wondered. «Devi, I've never doubted your strength or intelligence. you’re not just my equal; you're my partner in every sense.» Devi smirked, raising an eyebrow. «in every sense, huh? so does that mean you'll finally start taking my advice instead of just pretending to listen?» Ram chuckled, a teasing glint in his eye, «only if you promise to stop 'accidentally' forgetting our religious rituals.» and what he didn’t tell her was how often he found himself thinking of her during those, how his eyes searched for hers, just to catch a glimpse of her walking past him. in those moments of chanting and solemn tradition, Ram’s mind often wandered to her, more often than he’d probably admit to anyone, himself at the top of the list. while others were lost in prayer, he found himself lost in thoughts of Devi. (and what is love, if not a prayer? what is a prayer, if not thinking of the one you love?). he would remember the way her eyes sparkled with defiance and mischief, how her laughter could light up even the darkest of days. he would remember how she awkwardly flirted with him when she lost the bet with the Basu twins and how he enjoyed teasing her and seeing the pink in her cheeks, a shade of roseate he could wear everyday. he remembered hearing the wildest stories about her; of her running away riding a horse and getting injured, of closing a deal along with the British Lord, of creating trouble when she couldn’t find any. so he sough her out, lingered between doors to catch a glimpse of her, pretending forgetfulness had put roots in his mind just so he could turn back and linger in her presence again. catching her had become quite a challenge, one he was willingly participating in. in his almost thirty years of life Ram had never known a sentiment even coming close to this. he had always deprived himself of feelings, for he knew he was but a pawn in a game out of his reach, and he had accepted it. as a Seer, he was expected to support Mahakali’s will, under any circumstances or situation, but here he was, defying this one simple rule for a girl he knew he couldn’t have. but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t die trying. after all, Doobays are known for being stubborn. (so in a way, he is carrying the legacy by being stubborn, isn’t he?)

Devi chuckled and nodded, «I suppose I’ll attend, as long as you’re there too» and what she omitted was how grateful she was for him. she knew he was a mere mortal like her, but sometimes it felt like he possessed a healing power in addition to his Seer skills. a power that she could feel flow in her vein whenever he reassured her, a power as intoxicating as his words were, and she was but a drunk girl, hanging onto every word, the way a spider hangs onto its web.

Devi flashed a mischievous grin, and added «you know, Ram, for someone who's supposed to be the great interpreter of the goddess's will, you're looking a bit too serious today. did you forget to consult the stars this morning, or did they just refuse to cooperate with your grand plans?» she chuckled softly, her teasing tone a welcome relief amidst the weight of their conversation. «or perhaps I’ve been spending too much time daydreaming instead of focusing on my duties», he countered, a playful glint in his eyes, leaning in closer to her. «who needs duty when I can have the thrill of chasing after you instead?» he replied, watching the pink glow on her cheeks reappear and gods, he swore he’d love to die in a sea of that same shade. Devi arched an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. «well, in that case, you better keep up, Mr. Doobay. because this rakhasi isn't one to be caught so easily», she declared, her voice lowering, as she challenged him.

and so he took the challenge, as he finally kissed her, her lips on his, her arms around his neck, anchoring themselves to each other like doomed lovers drowning. their lips met with an urgency born of desperation, of “stay with me” hidden on their eyelashes, of “I will” on their noses grazing axis. Ram’s lips, soft and inviting, were a sanctuary that Devi sought refuge in, her own lips a testament to the depth of his longing. how could they kiss like this, if their relationship was a mere fleeting teasing object of foolish affection? they held onto each other as if they were dissipating colors and it was okay, as long as their shadows were inked together, imprinted on an immortal book of their story. each movement was a silent plea for their love to defy the cruel hand of fate. and as she felt his smile against her lips, his fingers tightening their grip on her waist as he could transcribe his fear of losing her in that simple act, Devi knew that whatever happened, it would be alright. if her past was engulfed in flames, he was the soothing stream, quenching the fires of uncertainty. if all she had ever known was a lie, the shadows of them in this moment were the only truth she believed in. «it will be alright», she told herself, and she didn’t realize she had said it aloud until she heard Ram whisper «it will be» back.

and so, at her soon to-be-grave they stood. they knew better than to beg or fall on their knees, pleading to the sky, to their creator. but that wouldn’t stop them from trying to redo the prophecy. destiny after all is just a tapestry made of stitches, and even the greatest pieces can be undone. and if not, if the threads refused to be shattered, at least they would live with the certainty that they, in this exact moment, had existed. Deviya Sharma and Ram Doobay had existed on this day, on the day where life and death had swirled into one. they had existed on this day, and they had tried, for love is trying, trying and trying, until your last dying breath. even as the threads of their existence began to unravel like cards, they knew they would have had each other on this day. and though the threads may never break, and their love may fade into a non existence, lingering between expiration and life, in this moment of certainty, they knew they'd never be bereft of love, even if they refused to utter those four letters — those two vowels and two consonants they weren’t ready to concede and confess. all came in pair of twos — vowels, consonants, mouths, eyes, hands, promises; Deviya and Ram.

falcon and lion, sky and earth, wings and roar — Deviya and Ram. the game has just began for in death one learns life, in drowning you learn the shore, in a trap you learn resilience. their fight had just started. but for now, they would hold onto each other, for their embrace was a temple of their crafting, a religion they wouldn’t let crumble. if their destinies were anything but not each other, the pen was in their hand and they’d craft another.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳

taglist: @liykaii

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nepthys-merenset · 2 months

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Pretenses

It's time for Dmitry x Lane #4! Part 1 is here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.

Title: "Pretenses"

Summary: Called into the General's office to bandage the wounds she gave him the night before, Lane wonders—has the madness that gripped them last night passed, or will it take new form in the light of a new day?

Pairing: Lane x Dmitry [Heaven’s Secret: Requiem]

Word Count: 2,036

Rating: T

TW: None

Taglist: @rc-catalog

Pretenses

The walk from the training field to the building that housed Dmitry’s office was quick, but it could have taken an eternity. Lane spent the entire time carefully schooling her features into what she hoped was an impassive façade as an unpleasant fear of being exposed gnawed at the edges of her mind.

She wanted, needed, this to appear to be nothing but two colleagues, a squad member and her superior officer, walking together.

Every time she stole a glance at Dmitry, it appeared that that was what he wanted, too—he walked slowly, matching her pace, but he didn’t look at her. The calm, detached look she had gotten used to never left his face, every inch the untouchable General leading his subordinate through ordinary operations.

To an outside observer, nothing would seem amiss. A veteran of a childhood spent hiding her true feelings and play-acting at perfection while the truth rotted in the lonely corners of her family home, Lane considered herself an expert at revealing only what she wanted to. But she couldn’t stop herself from wondering—if he were to look at her, would he see something she didn’t know how to hide?

She suspected that he, the only one in the squad who had managed to pull genuine reactions, genuine feelings, from recesses of her soul she thought she’d lost, just might. But what she couldn’t grasp, the question driving her mad, was what that something might be.

As they drew near the building, he opened the door and gestured for her to precede him into the lobby and up the stairs. She had climbed these stairs many times before, but never like this—every other time she had been called to the General’s office, there had been a professional pretense. She had entered his office as a squad member delivering progress reports or, as was the case last night, as a suspect in Noah’s disappearance. There had always been defensible reasons for her presence.

Today was different. Today, she was entering his office as a woman who had attacked him last night. A woman who had thrown herself at him and kissed him. And now, she had been explicitly invited to his office to bandage the wound she’d given him.

The door of his office closed behind them, and, steeling herself, she turned to face him.

Remember why you’re here.

Answers. The Book. Not for him.

*****

The training session hadn’t gone how he’d planned. He’d had every intention of treating this like any other training session he would have planned with any other new recruit, and those certainly didn’t involve orchestrating situations where he would have to touch them. Fall into the snow with them. Hold them against his body.

Reveal personal information about himself.

There was something about the way she looked at him with a carefully impassive face, but a question always lurking in her eyes. She needed something from him. What that was, he wasn’t sure, but a nagging desire to find out hadn’t left his thoughts in days.

Dmitry was no stranger to people needing things from him—as the squad’s leader, people needed things from him all day, every day. Orders, information, assurance. He gave it all, as easy as breathing. It was one of few things that made sense in his life nowadays.

With Lane, it was different. The only thing she had asked him for was information he didn’t have, and the only thing she had given him were more questions. She left him wanting, wondering, in ways he hadn’t experienced since before the apocalypse had begun to chip away at his humanity.

None of his painstakingly honed coping mechanisms worked with her—it was impossible to respond to her with the rote discipline that was enough for every other member of the squad. Even now, trying and failing not to watch her as he followed her up the stairs, he was reminded of that fact.

I should have gone first.

But he hadn’t, and so he watched her. The way her long hair swayed gently against her back, the way her hands brushed against her thighs, the way her muscles tensed and released as she climbed. And as the door shut behind them and she turned to face him, he realized, in a fatalistic sort of way, this isn’t going to go according to plan, either.

*****

Lane held her breath, feeling her heart skip a beat as her eyes met his. He was watching her—looked like he had already been watching her—with an odd expression on his face. Still alert, still cautious, but almost...curious. Like he had accepted something, and wanted to know what would happen next.

She wanted to know, too.

“There’s gauze and medical scissors in my desk,” he said, crossing the office to sit down tiredly on the old green couch. “Top left. Don’t go rummaging around, and don’t think of trying anything. They’re not sharp enough.”

She shot him a quick, searching look—did he really let me in here thinking I might attack him again?—but he looked relaxed, one corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile. So she nodded, returning the smile, and went to his desk, where she quickly found what she needed. Unspooling the gauze, she cut off a length, then made a show of returning the scissors to the desk, loudly closing the drawer, and displaying her hands to him.

The playfulness of the moment quickly vanished, swallowed up by a strange, swooping sensation that flowed through her entire body, when she was rewarded with an indulgent look that almost thawed the ice in his eyes.

What is this feeling?

Taking a deep, steadying breath, she approached him. She would have to get close to him, very close, to do this, and touch him in ways she hadn’t before. Softly, gently. Trying not to consider the implications of what she was about to do, the professional barriers she was about to consciously cross, she reached for him and tentatively touched the bandages.

Her fingers were icy against his neck, and he flinched, small tremors racing across his skin. She drew back slightly, watching his reaction to her, before whispering, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s nothing,” he said quietly, shifting back to where he was before.

Whatever it is, I’m not the only one feeling it.

She rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them, before reaching out again and gently unwinding the bandage from his neck. There it was—the wound she had left last night. Her resolve crumbled as she stared at it, remembering—

Moving as one, lips crashing together—

Her back, pressed against the cool window—

A sharp bite, a jolt of life running through her—

Warmth, connection, understanding—

She bit her lip, searching for a distraction, then cursed herself as she realized that she couldn’t have possibly found a worse thing to take her mind off of last night. “I—” she fumbled, looking for something, anything. “Does it hurt?”

With an effort that looked almost palpable, he looked away from her lips and sighed. “No,” he said, a hand stealing towards the jagged scar on his left elbow. “I’ve had worse.”

She nodded mutely, wondering if she already knew the story behind that scar and who had given it to him, as she carefully wrapped a length of fresh gauze around his neck. Her fingers brushed against his skin often, and he didn’t lean away, didn’t stop her. He was just still, breathing evenly, allowing her to touch him.

Her task finished, she stepped back and cautiously met his eyes again. Almost immediately, another small jolt ran through her body—he was watching her again, his gaze calculating, as if he were trying to figure something out. Something about her. And as she returned his gaze, she realized, I don’t want to leave. I want answers, too.

Last night had brought nothing but more questions, questions she had turned over and over in her mind all day. Why had she kissed him? Why had warmth spread through her entire body every time he touched her? Why had he, so cold and detached, kissed her back, as if the distraction of the shattered lamp had been the only thing stopping him from ripping her clothes off right then and there?

Would I have let him?

Her eyes trained on him, waiting for a response, she moved slowly, carefully. First from his side to in front of him, then bolder—forward, in between his legs. He didn’t stop her, just tracked her movements with his intent gaze. She needed to know—will it be the same today? Or has this strange madness passed in the light of a new day?

He still wasn’t stopping her. Instead, his hands found her waist, touching her lightly. There was no strength in his grip, just a gentle touch that would have allowed her to step back at any moment if she wanted. But I don’t want that, she realized with sudden clarity. I want to know.

With her heart in her throat and vitality racing through her veins, she reached out tentative hands, one to his face and the other to his neck as she leaned down. There would be no going back after this—there would be no adrenaline, no pretense, to blame this on. There was only a conscious decision that she had made, and that he supported.

She kissed him softly, gently, slowly. He answered in kind, accepting this for what it was: a question, an exploration.

Can you help me feel? Can you help me understand what I’ve lost?

It seemed the answer was yes, as her body warmed and strange sensations swam through her head, too foreign for her to name but too tantalizing for her to walk away from. His lips were soft against hers, his hands tightening—don’t stop—around her waist. She sighed against his lips as a deep desire, more, rose in her, and she moved forward again, into his lap with one knee on each side of his body.

One of his arms looped around her back, pulling her in closer, as he raised his other hand to her hair, wrapping it around his fist. A soft “oh!” escaped her mouth, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss as she sighed into him.

As she touched him, explored him, tasted him, she realized—it’s not just the kiss. It’s him. His hands exploring her body, his tongue teasing hers, his lips warming her from the inside out—everything she thought she had lost began to coalesce, and for once, she felt hope that maybe, just maybe, she would be able to find what she was missing. To recognize herself again in the ruins of this strange new world.

To understand him and what drove him, and unravel her feelings for him.

She drew back at last, nearly holding her breath. She had begun to answer her own questions in his arms, but she had to see him—to know if he would regret having crossed this line with her.

His gaze was inscrutable as he looked up at her. He was still so close to her, his chest warm and firm against hers, his hands still resting on her back, his eyes searching hers. The only thing she was sure of was that there was no regret. She had seen that expression darkening his eyes before and didn’t recognize it now. There were traces of something else, something wild and fleeting that she couldn’t identify, but no regret.

“Lane...” he said quietly, her name falling from his lips like a secret. Then he fell silent, looking away.

Maybe he doesn’t know what to do next?

“We don’t have to,” she murmured. “Not now.”

He looked at her again, relieved. “All right. Later.”

No, the madness hadn’t passed. It still gripped her, and him as well—and maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t actually madness at all, but something she had never truly felt before, something with new depths to explore. A mystery just as tempting as the Book, and perhaps just as dangerous, too—but one that she wanted to decipher just as badly.

With him.

#romance club #rc hsr #rc fanfic #rc fanfiction #rc lane #rc dmitry #lane x dmitry

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dutifullynuttywitch · 4 months

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Heaven's Secret 1: Revisited

Romance Club: Heaven's Secret

Pairings: Vicky (f!mc) x Dino, Vicky x Lucifer, Adi x Sammy, other pairings tbc

Rating: explicit (swearing, graphic descriptions of violence, character death and smut)

Series summary: This is a completely self-indulgent rewrite of Heaven’s Secret 1. It stays mostly true to the original story, delving into some of the main characters’ motivations and POVs, and more world-building. Expect a Dino-Lucifer-Vicky (f!mc) love triangle and explorations of Vicky's relationship with Malbonte.

Taglist: @rc-catalog

Fic is on Ao3

Chapter 1: Dying

Chapter 2: First Assignment

Chapter 3: Dark omens

Chapter 4: Visiting Hell

Chapter 5: Death of an unclaimed Ⓜ️ (cw: character death)

Chapter 6: Angelic hospitality

Chapter 7: Assignments on earth: Race day

Chapter 8: Satan's Punishment Ⓜ️ (cw: graphic violence)

Chapter 9: Offense is the best defense

Chapter 10: The Flying Tournament

Chapter 11: Push and Pull Ⓜ️🔥 (cw: smut Vicky x Dino)

Chapter 12: An assignment with the Prince of Hell

Chapter 13: A Mexican getaway Ⓜ️🔥 (cw: smut Adi x Sammy; major character death)

Chapter 14: Unable to let go Ⓜ️🔥 (cw: smut Vicky x Dino)

Chapter 15: The Ball

Chapter 16: Aftermath Ⓜ️🔥 (cw: smut Vicky x Lucifer)

Chapter 17: Judgement

Chapter 18: Breaking Point

Chapter 19: The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

Chapter 20: Harmony? What Harmony?

Chapter 21: Rescue Mission Ⓜ️🔥 (cw: smut Vicky x Lucifer)

#rc lucifer #rc dino #rc austie #rc adi #rc sammy #rc vicky #rc andy #rc mimi #rc heaven’s secret #rc fanfic #romance club fanfiction #romance club #angst #smut #heaven’s secret #canon rewrite #lucifer #rc malbonte #lucifer heavens secret

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lucas-koh · 4 months

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KISS, KILL

In his dreams, he kills her.

But the worst dreams are the ones where he doesn't.

Amen (Song of The Crimson Nile - Romance Club) x Eva. This is a dark fic so please read and heed the tags.

#song of the crimson nile #romance club #amen x eva #romance club fanfic #rc scn #amen scn #scn fanfiction #rc fanfic #rc ff

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joeymerenset · 2 months

Text

The Ash Scattered Over a Field

Book: PSI

Characters: Ivo Martin x Lou Reed

Word Count: 5566

Rating: M

Warnings: Death, Neck breaking, Nightmares, Strong language, Smoking

Tags: @rc-catalog @secret-fungi @mikaelsrose @agattthaa @liykaii @zumitry @scrubcapsg @sarahrosees @webanglikethat @annn-starrr @astarotha

Summary: Tomorrow, they set their emotions aside and fight for their goal. But tonight, they're just Lou, Ivo, and the city beyond.

Recommend music to read with: https://on.soundcloud.com/MorArg2uTjruUXRu7 on repeat

“Right now, the Assistance Corps have just taken out the Prior of the Inquisition,” a feminine voice announces.

Lou understands perfectly what is about to happen. She awaits frozen in dread as life relentlessly continues going on around her.

Faceless people surround her in a crowd as they watch the fateful event that will change the course of history.

They’re silent, faces void of any mouths to throw the usual insults thrown at such events, void of any eyes to throw any vicious or cutting glances…

Instead, they simply silently expressionlessly face him as he’s brought out. His face, unlike all others, is clear and distinct, his cold and ruthless expression precise.

He isn’t changed out of his immaculate well-kept uniform, the Inquisition badge shines brightly in spite of the cold and gloomy winter rain. His hair is in its usual impeccably neat ponytail, not a strand is out of place.

He doesn’t fit the image of a criminal about to be hanged. And yet,

He gives Lou a cold glance as he’s led past her, and in that split second it feels as though everything around them pauses and they’re in slow motion.

Lou immediately understands what is truly in his gaze. They both know what they want to say to each other, but unspoken words unite them one last time, as the world around them resumes, and he is ruthlessly led away.

“The higher ranks of the Inquisition have not given us an exact explanation for this situation so far,” a faceless woman on a hologram TV continues reporting her announcement, “however, from the information available to us, it has become clear–”

He reaches the stage and stands in perfect posture, exactly where he’s meant to stand. He shows no sign of resistance against his situation, but as he searches the crowd for where he’s just passed by, when his eyes land on her, she can see the hidden despair in them.

His impeccable appearance contrasts the gallows. The noose now being tied around his neck by an inquisitor in an identical uniform is out of place among his perfect attire.

“...the Prior was staging a coup,” the reporter mercilessly continues against the cold silence. Lou continues staring at the man, eyes wide with horror as the dreaded event comes closer and closer, chasing her like a predator chasing his disadvantaged prey. “Having learned about this, the Vicar Jean-Francois took immediate action to eliminate the traitor.”

She tries to breathe as her heart looses its rhythm. At the sight of the noose around her lover’s neck, her hands tremble and her legs grow weak. She doesn’t take her eyes off him.

She’s paralyzed by dread, too numb to cry and yet, as she becomes hyper-aware of herself and their now inescapable situation, she feels wet tears on her cheeks.

“...horrifying news pierced our hearts,” Lou’s panic crashes into her brain, it screams at her to do something, to act. To strangle the man who’s just tied the noose. It becomes so loud that it drowns out the sound of the TV, breaking phrases into jumbled sentences. “...Church will conduct a lengthy investigation… Who else is involved in…”

Her brain refuses to listen to the indifferent voice on stage that had just begun listing his crimes, as he stands, rigorously watching her, on that trapdoor.

She can only hear her own mind screaming for her to act no less vehemently than it did a moment ago. But, feeling as though her feet are physically glued to the floor, she stands frozen, withholding his penetrating gaze.

Voices without source begin speaking out amidst the brutal silence. Their questions each cut its own deep wound. “What will the Vicar say? How will they deal with the traitor?”

A stab to the gut. “Is the traitor also guilty of the recent crimes against the Church?”

A bullet to the heart. “Did the Prior’s personal guards know of his plans?”

The question that killed her, “Who will the next Prior be?”

And on that stage, standing on that trapdoor, moments away from his final breath, he coldly endures until the dreaded question is asked: “Your final words, Monsieur Martin?”

He shows no weakness or vulnerability, simply answers the question with a cold voice, a stern expression, and a single tear of despair that streams down his uncaring face. He says: “I promised I’d make the universe bigger. I’m sorry.”

And then she hears the deafening sound of the crunch of his neck as the trapdoor opens beneath him. He’s staring directly at her when his eyes roll back into his skull and life leaves his body.

Lou jolted awake, wheezing for air as if she had run a great distance.

She frantically searched the darkness for any semblance of hope. She found it in the realization that she’d just been dreaming.

She slowed her breathing, inhaled for four seconds, held for four seconds, and exhaled for four seconds. Jonas had once taught her this breathing exercise when she got panicked at school one time.

She slowly turned herself over and sat herself up on her elbows. She sat frozen for a minute as her eyes worked to adjust to the darkness around her.

As her mind began to make sense of the shapes that surrounded her, Lou looked around the familiar room. It wasn’t hers. In her state of mind, she had just about forgotten where she was spending the night.

A quick scan of the room reminded her whose it is. It was confirmed when she looked down at red and gray sheets that covered her now.

And when she realized whose bed she was in, she absentmindedly turned to look to the other side of the bed. She let out a pained sigh of relief as she saw him laying next to her, soundly asleep with calm even breathing.

And as she sat mesmerized by the sight of his chest slowly rising and falling with every breath, the realization came crushing that the horrific sight she’d just seen has only yet to come.

Her pulse rang in her ear, her heart dropped to her stomach as she settled into that realization that her nightmare can easily become a reality. She took another deep breath.

He’d told her and Stone to “settle their affairs” before the day arrived. She knew what he meant by that. She knew anything could happen on the fated day, that they’re all in a dangerous position no matter what happens. That’s why she chose to spend the previous day with him, why she wished to wake up in his bed the next morning.

And now she had another reason: she was glad of all places, she was tormented by nightmares in his bed where she can wake up next to him, and simply be with him knowing that he's safe.

She stared at him as vehemently as she had in that dream, as though she could lose him at any second. And as she did, as if her nightmare hadn’t tormented her enough, visions of how the next day could go began playing in her head.

She imagined Jonas, barely alive from overusing his psi, being dragged away by the AC. She imagined the young Tina having to learn that she'd have to go on living alone as a result of everyone she knows having been killed. She couldn't bring herself to imagine the pyrokinetic dying, and still she imagined every outcome. Most didn’t seem ideal.

Her imagination led back to his death. She shook her head as her mind replayed the scene, almost as though she was shaking out the image of it.

When she zoned back in, she thoughtlessly watched him, almost fascinated by the way he breathed. The way he lived.

And amidst the silence that now lingered in her mind, one strained simple thought shattered through the wall of professional detachment she had built. Like how the moon stood out amidst the starless sky above the eternally alive and lit city outside the balcony door, her thought stood out from the quiet darkness of her mind, and it whispered to him: I don’t wanna lose you.

Her hand reached out on its own, as if it was reaching for something it had long yearned to hold, and now it gets to. It reached his face, and hovered over it, afraid to wake him.

She knew he wasn’t dreaming. At least, knowing the nature and purpose of his sedative, she doubted he was. And she knew that her wish to understand what’s going through his head right now was futile.

But Lou’s worry was slightly reassured as she realized that, after the next day’s events are over, he’d likely never have to take that sedative again.

What is happening to me, she thought, why does it matter to me that you’re sleeping soundly?

And yet, despite her deep reluctance to worry for him, her thought was followed up with: Sleeping soundly? …I really hope you are.

She found herself absentmindedly playing with his hair. She gently ran her fingers between his dark locks, as if, even when on auto-pilot, she knew exactly just how gentle to be so as to not wake him.

When she realized what she was doing, she paused, and just stared at her hand, now frozen with a lock of his hair between her fingers.

She took a deep inhale, which was somewhat surprisingly difficult for her at that moment, and then finally decided: No, I better not wake you up.

So her hand retreated, and with it, she did too. She sat herself back up and reached for the bedside table next to her. She had to tap the table a few times before landing on a small box, which she grabbed and took with her as she got up.

She didn’t bother to slip her feet into anything comfortable, so her bare footsteps hardly made any sound when she walked away and onto the balcony.

The floor was warm against her bare feet.

Despite it being the middle of summer, they’d heard it was going to rain that night. Yet, the sky was endlessly clear. Lou felt the warmth against her skin wash out her melancholy and replaced it with discomfort.

She watched the eternally awake city through clouded vision as she lit a cigarette and exhaled the first puff of smoke. Below her, she saw the light turn off from a building or two, but most, just like the Inquisition building, never really slept.

Just as it was clear of clouds, the sky also lacked stars. It was solely lit by the moon, lonely as she now was. Its light tried to console her as it shone down on her, barely reaching far enough to envelop her in its rays like the dreaded sun did.

And she truly dreaded the dawn of the first rays of sun. She didn’t want tomorrow to come. So she endlessly watched the moon, her heart sank deeper with each second the moon set lower.

Alone with the moon, she didn’t want to think of the next day anymore. Taking in another drag of smoke, she wondered what the sky would look like if only the harsh lights of the city didn’t outshine the stars.

She found herself rolling her eyes. She’d never cared about such things before.

But as her thoughts led back to him, it almost didn’t matter anymore. Her next thought as she hesitated to inhale again was: Beautiful, that’s how.

She breathed a pained exhale. I’m tormenting myself if I keep standing here waiting for the sun to rise. And as she turned back to return to the sleeping man behind that balcony door, just before she put out her cigarette, her eyes landed on his cello.

He'd left it there after he'd spent the night playing to her, sharing his soul through symphony after symphony, the only way he could.

Moon and sun and stars and the cello all led her to one thought, one memory that didn’t allow her to walk away anymore.

She remembered a melody among the cosmos, as she floated between planets and nebulae. She remembered standing on the moon as the music dissolved her, and it felt as though she and the music together were becoming the stars and the galaxies.

Her mysterious admirer didn’t accompany her there, yet she learned weeks later on the very balcony she now stood on that he was with her that night. He was the melody that carried her to the stars, the music that undid her. He was the color of the sky, the twinkle of the stars that generously bathed her in their light.

Their generosity came in the form of an outstretched hand holding out a pair of shades on an inconveniently sunny day, or a pack of ice for a runny broken nose. It came as music; a flash drive to keep her company while she was lonely off work, a sound system as some part of him in her home, an orchestra at a planetarium, a cello on the balcony. It came in the form of him.

And he was the main cellist playing that orchestra. He was her beautiful symphony, the chords and tones that tugged at her heart and lured it closer, pushed it deeper into the pool of his affection. And in a world that gave him their undivided attention, she was his only audience, the only one who mattered. She was his muse.

What stupid thoughts, she convinced herself, if Jonas heard all this he’d flick me between my brows and tell me to get my shit together.

She had no doubt the healer would have a colorful choice of words for her, had he known who she’s spending her nights with.

But she forgot Jonas’ name very easily when he was on her mind. She went back to the edge of the balcony, to the bustling city beyond it that had no idea how much it would change in a matter of hours.

And she took out another cigarette, despite knowing that standing there won’t do her any good, and lit it. She couldn’t turn her back on the moon, the only thing unchanged in her life, guaranteed to rise the next night and set the morning after.

Shit, she exhaled a stream of smoke, what’s happening to me?

She'd never worried about someone like that before, and worrying about Ivo scared her. She'd tried to break it off the previous day for that reason. It was her duty to protect him as his personal guard, it was her duty to worry. But her worry wasn't out of duty, it was personal.

And the idea of leaving him killed her, and having the Prior die may ruin her career, but it was easier to fail as his guard than it was to fail as his lover.

Moreover, he was the Prior. He was ash scattered over crops where life grew over the death he left behind. Who was she next to him?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a quiet hoarse voice calling “Lou?” followed by the sound of a door clicking.

She turned to look back at the pale tired man who'd just walked onto the balcony. He looked more grim than peaceful and sound now that he was awake.

He approached her lazily, as if he'd hardly allowed himself to fully wake up before realizing she wasn't asleep in bed next to him.

Lou noted the worried look on his face. He seemed to understand what she was dreading. “I'm sorry,” her apology filled the silence as she flicked the ash off her cigarette.

When he reached her, he wordlessly held her by the waist and planted a kiss just where the sleeve of her shirt had fallen from her shoulder, in silent reassurance that she didn't have anything to apologize for.

And she didn't have it in her to say anything else, so they stood like that, silently taking in each other's presence, for a while. Her, listening to the sound of his breathing and savoring every decibel. Him, watching the smoke floating from her mouth into the air almost as if, in his tired state, he was utterly mesmerized by it.

When her cloud of smoke dissipated into the air, he turned back to look at her, allowing himself to admire the sight of her. Only after he took in every feature, he planted a long kiss on her cheek.

As his lips lingered on her skin, without thinking, she mouthed “mine.” Her voice came out in more of a strangled whisper.

She felt his lips form a smile on her cheek. “That's right, Lou. Yours.”

When she realized he was about to kiss her lips, Lou abruptly moved away, swiftly remarking: “Ivo, my breath reeks of tobacco, you don't wanna taste that.”

Endearing as her concern was for him, he didn't push her any further. He simply went back to admiring her as he absentmindedly stroked her shoulder. She turned back to face the city.

After a moment, he allowed himself to break the silence and gently asked: “Why are you awake at this hour?”

She took a second to consider her response before she exhaled it along with another puff of smoke. “I could ask you the same thing.”

He was in no hurry to answer.

Lou decided not to wait for one anyway. “I keep playing scenarios in my head.”

“Scenarios?”

“Of the possibilities of tomorrow,” she clarified. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m prepared to put my emotions aside and serve my duty, but I don’t know that I wanna face the damage we’ll leave behind.”

He stared at her attentively, waiting for her to elaborate, or to decide that she wasn't going to.

“The other day, while I was… hm. I went to see Jonas and I could hardly hold a conversation. I kept imagining his fate after tomorrow,” a deep inhale as she took in another drag, “it wasn't a pretty picture.”

Ivo's eyes narrowed. Though he'd heard of Jonas before, he had no idea who the healer was or what any of this had to do with him.

“A few days ago, I dreamed about Tina. After I dropped her off at work, I just stopped to think about her future. My dream that night didn’t keep me wondering for too long.”

Ivo clearly had something he wanted to say, but refrained until she’d finished speaking.

“Tonight, I dreamed about you.”

He knew there would be no more elaborating on her part.

“I see,” he sighed as he seemed to understand the gravity of what’s been on her mind. She didn’t phrase it exactly how she’d wanted, but he understood exactly what she meant. He didn’t need any more explanation. “First of all, as for your tobacco breath,” he left a brief kiss on her lips, then brazenly stated: “I don’t care.”

She smiled at him briefly, took in his face, and suddenly saw his eyes roll back into his head again the way it did when he died at the gallows.

Something inside her shivered at the unexpected vision, she abruptly turned away. She refused to look at him any longer.

He felt the strange sense of anxiety that just suddenly came over her. Realizing she probably wasn’t up for it, he didn’t ask any questions. Instead he simply offered her a place in his arms.

She took it, settled her back into his chest, and stood there, held by him. Loved by him. Loved.

“You died,” she lamented, “in this dream.”

His attentive gaze on her became penetrating. His expression confused her. She wasn’t sure whether his furrowed brows expressed anger or concern.

“Our coup hadn’t gone according to plan. We’d doomed people to those godforsaken psionic farms, doomed humanity to a horrific fate, and you were brought to the gallows to be executed. Publicly.”

Ivo silently took in her words. He didn’t answer right away. “Lou, I have everything planned out perfectly. Every moment of every event counted toward our goal, everything that led us here was done strategically and under my complete control. I have several backup plans in the case that things don’t work out. Even in the event of my death, humanity–”

“Ivo! This isn’t about humanity dammit, this is about you!” She raised her voice for the first time in the conversation. “I don’t want you to die! I want you to assure me that you won’t die!”

Panic settled into her stomach as he paused in uncertainty. He couldn’t promise her that.

“Lie to me.”

He was only silent for a moment before lethargically responding, “...I won’t die.”

“You’re a politician, is that the best lie you could come up with?”

“It’s 2 AM.” He sluggishly refuted.

She wanted to look back at him with an unamused expression but it came out more desperate. More despaired. “Goddammit, Ivo…” She almost whimpered the words out of frustration.

And as she uttered them, flashes of that dream replayed before her mind’s eye.

She watched again at how he didn’t take his eyes off her once as he stood on the gallows. She’d never forget the way he was looking at her before life left him as abruptly as a gut-wrenchingly beautiful song being interrupted, the cruel silence that comes after.

And she’d never forget the horrific sound of his neck crunching, it didn’t feel like a distant memory from a dream.

She was reluctant to inhale another drag as she struggled to breathe. The crushing realization that came next came against her will, that if she lost him, she suddenly would no longer know how to keep living

He was no empath but he almost felt what she was thinking. The weight of the images on her mind were perceptible on her face, in the way she refused to take in another drag of smoke.

She didn’t pay attention to the taste when she absentmindedly inhaled the smoke again.

She was dragged out of her flashback by his quiet voice, silent as if she was asleep and he was reluctant to wake her. “Lou, come back to me.”

She suddenly became extremely aware of herself and the world around her. As all their problems began to feel tangible, she became hypersensitive to his cold hand on her arm. He hadn’t stopped stroking it once. At this moment, it grounded her.

“I’m sorry,” he rasped. Though he wasn’t one to usually have such a reaction, he mentally cussed at himself for his inability to convincingly lie to her. After all, he was able to deceive a stage one psionic empath.

“I’m sorry, Lou,” he sincerely apologized again. “In the beginning, I didn’t think that we…”

“I know, Ivo,” a stream of smoke came out alongside her words. “And it’s not your fault. I’m glad I… got to know you,” she wasn’t sure how to phrase it, but they both knew what she was saying. “I knew what I was getting myself into when I became your guard,” she considered everything she’d been through so far that led her to this moment. “It wasn’t to walk in the garden.”

At first, this all started as an attempt to earn enough for a comfortable living. She understood the dangerous nature of her job, and she was prepared to do what it takes.

She wasn’t eager to protect the head of the Inquisition when she’d first heard about the job offer, but the pay was so generous, she could hardly refuse. She fought hard for that comfortable life in Termitairy she was hoping to have, even if it meant protecting some high-ranking prick.

She never expected that one day, she’d be standing in said high-ranking prick’s arms, as if enveloped by a blanket of love and comfort, as he gently rubbed her shoulders in an attempt to dispel her worries about their upcoming dangerous mission.

And as she realized how her bitterness towards the Inquisition and its leader was once just barely enough to dissuade her chance to earn decent money, she marveled at her eagerness to risk her life to make a difference, to risk her life for him.

“And now we’re changing the world,” her next words were uttered silently without any context, “How could I walk away from that?”

“Of course,” Ivo agreed, “But I’m sure you hardly expected to be in this much danger either.”

“It’s easier for you isn’t it? That’s why they call you Ash,” she wasn’t really asking. “And you’ve been planning this for a while. —Well, not this but you’ve at least known some of Jean-Fracnois’ secrets for a long time, haven’t you?” After a silent pause as he considered his answer, Lou spoke up again first and added: “Plus, with the sedative-”

“That’s not the purpose of the sedative.” He hardly intended to interrupt her. It was just an objective fact he felt the need to state.

“I know, but it still helps,” she reasoned.

“To be sure. But either way, Lou, I’ve always had to put my emotions aside for my goal. The ash scattered over a field has no weakness or emotion, it is just ash, and it must fulfill its function– to be useful.”

“You are not ash.”

“I am the Prior. I endure, I do my job, I achieve my goal. Only after that am I a human being, and that’s reserved for you.”

He knew before hiring her that she was someone he’d become fond of, but he didn’t expect to become this fond of her. Too much to lose her.

He’d told her before that he wished he could be the one to protect her, and along with the upcoming dawn, that statement rises more and more and threatens to drown him with its truth as how the dawn threatens to drown the world with its light.

He knew where his fate would lead, that it might lead to his death. He knew he was risking the death of his team. He had come to terms with that, he was prepared for it.

He had to put his feelings aside time and time again for the sake of his goals, since the beginning of his career. He understood that emotions had no place at work.

Before her, emotions had hardly any place in his personal life either.

But now as they stood together facing the rest of the world, holding each other in an attempt to comfort one another, she’d become a person he never wanted to know what it’s like to live without.

“What exactly is gonna happen tomorrow,” she asked, and suddenly they both became acutely aware of the silence that had been lingering between them for minutes before she uttered her question. She looked up at the moon, and realized: “Well, today.” She turned again to face him, a look in her eyes he’d never seen before: desperation. “What are the steps of your plan? Tell me every detail.”

Her tone was cold and determined, it sounded as though she was commanding him, but she was asking for reassurance.

Ivo paused in silence for a moment, then let out a grim sigh. That was the first time in the entire conversation he’d stopped stroking her arm.

He nudged her lightly to have her turn to a position where she’s facing him, their faces inches apart. And when she complied, he took a long attentive look at her face, memorizing every feature as if it was the most important exam he was ever going to take.

Then, he took her hand with his and pressed it onto his chest. He held it there.

“Ivo, what are you doing-” she was interrupted by the murmur of a thud. Then another, and another.

He was silent for a minute as he let her listen. He simply watched her face take in the sound, and pay attention to it.

“You’re listening to the heartbeat of the Prior of the Inquisition,” he finally spoke. His chest rumbled lightly beneath her palm as his words came out. “Many have tried to stop it from sounding. Many wanted to cease its beating.” His lips were so close, they almost whispered into her temple. “You saw first hand how close they were to succeeding.”

And as he watched her attentively, her eyes were fixated on his hand on hers, holding hers to his chest. She soaked in the sound.

“Listen to it now, Lou.”

“Oh…” she felt as though she was physically holding in her hand the beating heart of the man who truly belonged to her.

Belonged to her? What right did she have to think so?

But tonight, those thoughts of doubt were drowned out by a lud, lud, lud,

A sound she now realized that, alongside the roar of her motorcycle’s engine and the music from her headphones, had just become among her favorite sounds in the world.

And just like how she cannot imagine living without music, and how she’d sooner die than give up her motorbike, she realized she never wanted to stop listening to the sound of his life whispering reassuring promises to her through his heart.

It whispered to her what he wanted her to know, because he survived and he endured for his goal because of her, but he lived for her.

He was silent again for another few minutes, she stood mesmerized again as she listened. When his voice sounded again,it almost startled Lou out of a shell she seemed to have retreated to. “First thing in the morning, we’ll meet with the Vicar,” a fact she already knew, “he will agree to my proposal–”

Lou couldn’t stand it anymore. “Yes, Ivo, but what proposal? What are you going to tell him?”

He didn’t give her an answer. Instead, he simply slowly shook his head in a silent plea to listen to his words. “Everything will go according to plan at the synod. Exactly every guest we need will show up. Every person who is taking part in our plan, whether they know it, intend to, or they don’t, will be exactly where we need them to be.”

His vagueness frustrated Lou. His words told her nothing of his plans, as always.

His words often spoke a vague truth, one that cut. But the continued sound that trembled under her palm told Lou all she needed to hear.

“We will gain control over the city so that we can prevent as many deaths as possible….”

As he kept speaking, he didn’t take his hand off hers, he didn’t allow her to let go of his heart. And why should she, when it beats because of her? When it beats for her.

He wanted her to own it, as if he trusts her not only to protect it from metaphorical heartbreak, but he trusts her to keep it beating.

She no longer listened to his words, she lost herself in the sound of his heartbeat that drowned out his cruel lies, sweet reassurance that was more cruel than threats and insults.

She settled into the sound that swaddled her like the comforting darkness of the night, the steady rhythm of his heart assured her more than his sorry attempts at deciet. It didn’t have his tone, the uncertainty with which he spoke, that slight unsureness, a hesitancy in promises.

No, his heart only kept sounding, each beat a promise that it would fight for the next one.

She didn’t realize how long she’d been standing there listening to the sound of his heartbeat after he let her hand go and stopped speaking. He didn’t try to remove her hand from his chest.

He only planted a kiss on her temple, which promised more than his words ever could.

“Sorry,” she apologized half-heartedly.

If he couldn’t tell from the reluctant tone in her apology that it wasn’t true, he knew it from the way his hand lingered on his chest, refusing to pull away.

She tried again. Only this time, she tried the truth: “I love you.”

Silence was his reply. It wasn’t that he hesitated to respond, no. He was silent as her words settled in. He understood that she did, and he knew exactly how he felt, but only when her words reached his heart and caressed it like sunlight’s rays caressed all that it dawned upon, he responded: “I love you too.”

Lou understood that tonight would be their last as human beings before they’d have to put their own humanity aside for the sake of the rest of humanity.

She understood she’d have to forget her emotions and serve. She knew she could. But tonight, that wasn’t what she worried about.

Tonight, humanity disappeared and summarized in one person, in the form of him. Tonight, nobody else mattered to her, only him.

Maybe during her days when she sat in his office, when she went on missions to dangerous clubs to find shady people, or beyond the perimeter for evidence of dangerous crimes against the Inquisition or the Church, Lou’s only goal, which she fought for sincerely, was for humanity. For people.

But tonight, as sleep came and sucked her into its comforting darkness easily despite the terrifying reality of tomorrow, none of it mattered to her. Only him.

#sorry if i forgot to tag anyone #lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist next time <3 #credit to fungi and agatha for helping out with this #this fic literally cost me an arm #and by that i mean it took two months coz my arm was injured 😭#void's yapfest #rc psi #romance club psi #rc lou #rc ivo #rc lou x ivo #romance club #psi fanfic #rc fanfic #fanfic #romance club fanfic #romance club fanfiction

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longbobmckenzie · 4 months

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dream hunter - Titian/Evthys (SCN)

First of all, thanks so much to @queen-of-boops for gifting me this GORGEOUS artwork of my man Titian. The work was commissioned from @erixadraws who did an amazing job!!

Second, I've been working on this Titian/Eva fic for legit 5 months, and it's fiiiiinally done! Hope you enjoy!

Summary:

It’s a good thing shesmu don’t dream… or this man might haunt hers.

Wordcount: 8,995

Rating: Explicit

read dream hunter on AO3

#rc #romance club #scn #song of the crimson nile #rc ff #rc fanfic #rc fanfiction #romance club fanfiction #romance club ff #romance club fanfic #romance club fanart #rc fanart #scn fanart #scn fanfiction #rc titian #scn titian #longbob writes

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0shewrites0 · 5 months

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Me when I read my mutual’s fics:

Lmao I swear some of y’all’s fics are hitting harder than books from professional writers and I love that

#litg #litg fanfic #litg ff #litg fanfiction #rc fanfic #rc fanfiction #rc ff #mutuals write stuff #writers on tumblr

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caterina-celestia · 3 months

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What if the squad members kept on disappearing one after another until there was only Lane and Dmitry left? Alone, in the entire estate? And in a way, alone in Rotkov? Dmitry will be so worried about losing Lane. She is the only one he has left. And for Lane, he is the only one she has as well. They will fight to protect each other side by side.

They will only have each other... 👀

#The idea is just too damn delicious #It's making me want to write a fanfiction #I just can't stop thinking about this story and what might happen #Dmitry better kiss Lane in the next update #I have no strength or patience left to wait half a year for their first kiss #I need some drama #dmitry hsr #heaven's secret requiem #lane x dmitry #rc dmitry #rc hsr #romance club #heaven's secret #rc lane #hsr lane

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trudemaethien · 11 months

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How about Sev/Glitch and "fill, separation, registration"? (Asdfghjkl those are genuine results i got and i have the screenshots to prove it lmfao)

how far is kashyyyk from draay 2 i wonder? (i did not check *handwave handwave*) you get one definite prompt fulfilled and vibes on the other two.

Sev is four places back from the head of the line when his attention gets drawn. “Where is your registration,” the droid intones, and a far too familiar voice responds.

“Here, you see my registration,” the clone says in a smooth cadence. He sounds like… Bard’ika trying to mind-rub some two-cred lowlife.

Does he really think he can use the Force? Does he think it’ll work on a droid? As far as Sev knows, it doesn’t. That guy is so screwed.

He doesn’t have a registered chain code either; Sev had been planning on trying to jam or slice his way past the tinnie. He needs to get off this waystation just as badly as the other clone seems to.

The droid is making increasingly obstinate noises, so Sev shoulders past the queue and steps up. “Give my brother here a pass, bolt-brain, or we’ll start realigning your vital circuitry, cozen?”

“Attempted security breach has been reported, please proceed to the waiting area without further deviation,” the droid says, and that’s enough for Sev. Who knows what it’s called down upon them.

He busts its bucket and proceeds somewhere decidedly other than where they’ve been instructed to. “Let’s go,” he growls, manhandling the other clone along with him by a firm grip on his bicep.

He hasn’t seen another clone in months. He’s not leaving him behind, not like some guys might.

“Hi,” the clone says, sarcastically hysterical, “how are you? I’m just fine, thanks for ruining my plan to keep my head down and get through here quietly, appreciate it!”

“You’re kriffing welcome, di’kut,” Sev says. “You’re plan wasn’t working, I improvised and adapted it. You packing heat?”

“Do I look like I—through a security checkpoint? You’re insane. You’re insane! Let go, I can kriffing well walk on my own. Insane,” he mutters, capping off his tirade.

“Sev, actually, a commando,” he introduces himself.

“Glitch,” the trooper grudgingly responds. “And I do have, uh…” At this juncture he flashes open his poncho a bit to reveal a honest-to-goodness lightsaber.

He does think he’s a Jedi!

Alarms have begun going off around them. Sev moves faster, as quickly as he can on his fucked leg. Glitch sees it, ducks under his arm, and loops his arm around Sev’s waist, seamlessly falling into step and taking weight off the injury.

It’s been even longer than the last time he saw his squad since Sev’s been touched, and he flinches, accidentally making overly honest eye-contact with the Jedi-clone. Now’s not the time to be thinking about the heat and press of a body against his vulnerable side, the comforting heft of a brother under his arm, the familiarity and the disparity of it being a total stranger.

Glitch is startled by it too, and his tongue reflexively darts out to wet his lips.

“So, Commando, you want to, hmmm, share the rest of our escape plan?” he asks, and Sev ruthlessly jerks his brain back into tactical mode.

First they have to make it out of here, and then they can figure out …everything else.

Lost Boys 🔒 https://archiveofourown.org/works/51594406

#writing prompt #ask answered #fanfiction #cloneshipping #clones #repcomm #legends comics #sev rc-1207 #clone trooper glitch #the plan is blow shit up #they do make it out and then make out about it #get on each others last nerve constantly #what an excellent dynamic #if i do say so myself #thanks for the prompt!

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northernthiefcranberry · 8 months

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i wonder how difficult it really is now to find readers for someone who writes about the “romance club”?..

i started writing a collection of drabbles, but the number of readers is literally minimal - despite the fact that I'm writing about the most popular love interest of the story.

i understand that I found the fandom at the wrong time, when all the hype had already passed, but are the people on the site where I post fan fiction really that uninterested in new authors?

#writing #fanfiction #romance club #rc #writer's thoughts

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angelasscribbles · 8 months

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What Once Was

Fandom: Vying for Versailles (Romance Club)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: none

Summary: Renee married someone else. But what happens when Alexandre comes back into her life?

“Madame, you have a visitor.”

Renée looked up from her writing desk curiously. She hadn’t been expecting anyone. “Who is it, Beatrice?”

Beatrice had served Renee since she had first set foot in Versailles all those years ago. She had risen from lady’s maid to maîtresse d'hôtel. Her duties now involved overseeing all the other household servants at Chateau de Marly.

“It’s Monsieur Bontemps, Madame.”

The door to the study swung wide as the mistress of house backed away, revealing Alexandre, his fingers twisting nervously at the hat clasped in his hands.

Renee rose from her desk with surprised delight and swept across the room to greet him with a hug. “Alexandre! This is a pleasant surprise! Wait….” She drew back with a worried crease across her brow, “Is all well? The king—”

“The king is fine, Madame.”

Her good mood faltered as her eyes tracked his face noting the agitation in his stance. Very little rattled the king’s spymaster. “Then why are you here?”

“I was hoping we could have a private conversation.” His eyes darted around the room. “May I come in?”

“Certainly, but I think we would be more comfortable in the small sitting room.” She stepped out of the study and led him down the hallway to the smallest of the sitting rooms. It was cozy, plush, and private.

She gave Beatrice instructions to send a maid in with tea service then she shut the door. Turning back to him, she crossed her arms and studied him closely.

He was fidgety, clearly wound up about something, which was completely out of character for him. She couldn’t help the smile that crawled across her face as she took in his agitation. “Do I still make you nervous, Alexandre?”

“You do have a way of knocking my equilibrium off balance, Madame.” He gave her a small smile.

The affection and heat in his gaze sent butterflies exploding through her stomach. “That is good to know, Monsieur.”

He arched an eyebrow skeptically, “You think me indifferent to you?”

“Perhaps.”

“I could never be indifferent to you.” The pure, undisguised longing on his face sent shivers cascading down her spine.

There was a brief lull in their conversation as the tea was served. Renee watched the maid retreat as she stirred her tea. With her eyes focused on the cup in her hand, she softly said, “You should have stayed.”

“Renee…I couldn’t stay in close proximity to you knowing I could never touch you again.”

She glanced up at him and her tone was sharp as she told him, “Those were the choices you made.”

He sighed as he carefully sat his cup on the table. It was the same argument they’d had before he had left for Geneva to serve the king’s interest in Switzerland. “You didn’t choose me.”

“I did. I simply didn’t choose only you,” she reminded him. “And it’s not like you were ever going to marry me anyway.”

“A spymaster—”

“I know. Believe me, I remember all your excuses.”

“They weren’t excuses.”

“Weren’t they?”

He didn’t answer. He had told her that they could never be a couple. He hadn’t had a noble title back then and his work made it almost impossible to conduct a love affair. But when she had accepted a proposal from the Prince du Sang, it had felt like a knife plunged into his heart.

He drew in a deep breath and decided to tell her the truth. “There’s something you don’t know, Renee. I did approach Louis about a possible match. The king had been offering to ennoble me for years. I thought, maybe…”

Renee jerked in surprise, nearly spilling her tea in the process, “What?”

“My request was rejected out of hand and when Philippe got down on one knee in front of the entire court a mere day later, I understood why.”

Louis loved him like a brother. But Philippe was his brother. And he had probably asked first. The prince was a better match for her anyway. He knew that.

Renee quickly sat her cup down and tried to quell the shaking in her hands. “Alexandre…why didn’t you tell me?”

“After witnessing firsthand your pure joy at accepting another man’s proposal? What would have been the point?” He had, instead, determined to keep his distance from her.

And yet when their paths crossed, he had found that he still could not resist her. “Do you remember that night in Paris, right before your wedding?”

Madame de France, princess, duchess, and marquise did not blush easily, but her cheeks colored at the reminder. “Of course I do. But why are you bringing that up? Why are you bringing any of it up now?”

“Pardon?”

“Why discuss these things now? After all this time?”

“Ah, yes.” And here was the reason for his visit. “Do you remember when you told me that you would recognize me anywhere?”

“Yes. And you said the same. What does that have to do with why you’re here?”

“Only that I by chance saw you last time I was in Paris on the king’s business. I only saw your profile as you climbed into your carriage, but I knew it was you.”

“And you didn’t think to say hello?”

“I started to but then I saw your son.”

“Louis-Philippe?”

“Yes. One of the servants handed him up into the carriage to you and I got a clear view of his face, Renee.”

Her heart stopped. “And?”

“And he favors neither the prince nor a certain count that you are overly fond of.”

She ignored his reference to Armand as her heart started to thump even harder. She knew exactly who the child favored but she wasn’t going to make this easy on him. Her hands and her voice were steady as she looked him directly in the eye. “What are you asking me, Alexandre?”

“Is he….is he mine?”

She jumped up from her seat and stalked across the room to stare out the window. After a long pause, she replied, “You are not a father in the way that Philippe is. You do not tuck him into bed at night nor ease his fears when the thunder booms. He does not know you.”

He stood and followed her across the room, resting a hand on her shoulder. “That’s not what I’m asking, and you know it.”

Without turning to look at him, she whispered, “Yes, he was conceived that night in Paris.”

Alexandre’s world tilted on its axis. He had known, of course, the moment he had seen the child’s face. But to have confirmation…. He dropped his hand and stepped away from her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Anger flared through her as she spun to face him and flung his own words back at him. “What would have been the point? You ran away from me fast enough the moment you didn’t like my choices.”

“But a child, Renee!”

“By the time I knew I was with child, I was already married! What would you have had me do? Put it in a letter so your enemies could use it against us both? You well know how easy it is to intercept correspondence.”

He nodded in acquiescence. He could not fault her logic. “And the Prince du Sang... does he….”

“Philippe knows. He does not care.”

“I find that hard to believe, Madame.”

“Did you think we were cuckolding him every time we were together?”

“Well…”

“I told you, before he even proposed, what our arrangement was!”

“Yes, but I—”

“You what? You thought I was lying?” She stepped closer. So close she could smell the vanilla and cardamom scent that always clung to him. So close that she could feel the heat radiating from him, sense the tension in his body, “I may lie to everyone else in service to my king and my country, but I have never lied to you nor him! I do not lie to the people that I love.”

Alexandre froze, shock, pleasure, and disbelief coursing through him at her words. She loved him?

Oblivious to his reaction to her unintentional confession, she plowed on. “And your assertation that I would have divided loyalties was preposterous! My loyalty to my husband would never put me at cross purposes with you, Alexandre and you know it! Philippe loves his brother and is loyal to him. Furthermore, I do not tell him everything that I know or that I do. He understands and respects the need for discretion when it comes to my duties as a spymaster! He would never ask me to betray—”

“Alright! Alright!” He held both hands up in surrender with a bemused chuckle.

“It’s not funny, Alexandre!” She stood in the middle of the room, just inches from him, cheeks red and chest heaving with emotion.

He was struck nearly speechless by her beauty. She was even more breathtaking when she was angry. How was that possible? He took an involuntary step toward her.

She froze, her eyes trained on him, but she didn’t back away.

He took another step toward her, this one purposeful.

They stood, unmoving, staring into each other’s eyes; two hearts pounding in anticipation. He lifted a hand and reached out for her just as the sitting room door banged open.

“There you are, my love! I—oh! I didn’t realize we had company.” The prince stopped short, causing the chevalier who had been hot on his heels to collide into his backside.

Alexandre jerked his hand back and stepped away awkwardly. “My prince! I…” he executed a low bow. “So lovely to see you again.”

Philippe’s eyes took in the valet’s flushed and guilty expression and then his wife’s stoic demeanor. Renee had not backed away when he entered the room. She had stood her ground. Her ire was evident and he smothered a smile. He understood everything. “It’s always a pleasure to see you, Alexandre, but let’s not pretend you came here for me.”

“I….” For the first time in his life, Alexandre was struck completely speechless.

Renee finally moved, closing the distance to greet her husband with a hug and a quick peck on the cheek. She murmured in his ear, “He knows about Louie.”

“Hm,” he hugged her back, but his gaze was trained on his brother’s spymaster.

Renee moved around her husband to greet the chevalier with the same hug and kiss she had just given her husband. “How was grouse hunting?”

“As usual, we didn’t find a single grouse but at least we didn’t end up drunk in a fountain again.” The chevalier laughed at his own joke as he returned her hug. Not a day passed that he didn’t count his blessings.

There had been a time when the king had been adamant that Philippe make a political marriage, likely to some English noblewoman who would expect fidelity from him. He would forever be grateful that Louis had allowed the prince to marry Renee and that Renee had never blinked at the relationship between the two men. Now he practically lived at Chateau de Marly and was both a godfather and cherished uncle to their son. They functioned very well as a threesome and while his whole heart belonged to the prince, he wasn’t completely indifferent to Renee.

He also liked the life they had built together very much so he glared suspiciously at the intruder. “Why are you here, Monsieur Bontemps?”

Finally recovering, Alexander stiffly replied, “I had some…business to discuss with the duchess.”

Renee snorted. “Business? Is that what this is, Alexandre?”

He flushed scarlet which caused the other two men in the room to laugh.

The prince spoke first. “Let’s drop the pretense, shall we? Renee and I have no secrets from each other nor do I keep secrets from the chevalier. His discretion is not in question. You may speak freely. Everyone in this room knows that Louis is your son. So why are you really here?”

“Do you wish to challenge me to a duel, Monsieur?” Alexandre asked carefully.

Philippe looked at him askance. “Why would I do that?”

Alexandre shook his head slowly. “Most men in your position would.” It was dawning on him that Renee had been telling the full truth of the matter. Philippe showed no signs of rage or jealousy.

Of course, it was an open secret at court that his affair with the chevalier never ended, but for most men indulging their own desires did not mean they were tolerant of their wives doing the same.

Philippe’s face broke into a wide smile. “When have you ever known me to be like most men? Come now, stay for dinner and we can discuss everything.”

“As tempting as that sounds…I have some urgent business matters I must attend to tonight. However….”

“Yes?”

“With your leave, I would like to visit the child. As a family friend, of course. I would never disclose the true nature of our relationship to him.”

“You want a relationship with our son?” Renee asked so quietly he almost missed it.

Turning to face her with beseeching eyes he answered her. “If it pleases you, then yes.”

Renee closed her eyes briefly as she fought against the onslaught of conflicting emotions that collided inside her at the thought. When she opened them again, she blinked up at him. “I think I would like that very much.”

Profound relief swirled through him at her answer. He had not known what to expect when he knocked on her door, but things had gone better than he could have imagined. Turning his attention back to Philippe, he asked, “And this is alright with you?”

“It is. You’ll find Louie is a capricious and wild little hellion who delights in his friendships with children and adults alike. I think he’ll be good for you.”

Alexandre barked out a surprised laugh. “He’ll be good for me?”

“Yes….” Philippe drawled out with a mischievous grin. “I think you need to loosen up and he’s just the person to help you do it.”

The king’s valet turned to go but an idea had taken root in his mind and he could not let it go. Turning back he asked, “And your wife?”

“What about her?”

“May I have permission to resume our….friendship?”

“Oh, he wants to court your wife!” The chevalier chortled out loud.

“Monsieur,” Philippe shook his head. “You disappoint me. I thought you understood. You do not need my permission. You need hers.”

Alexandre turned slowly, his heart thudding in his chest. “Madame. I would be most grateful if you would agree to indulge me in a conversation soon. I think we have many things to discuss.”

“For how long?”

“I’m sorry?”

“How long will these discussions go on? When do you leave again?”

He nodded in understanding. “Given today's revelations, and assuming you will continue to welcome me as a visitor in your home, I will start making the preparations to return to my house in Paris immediately and permanently.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

She regarded him thoughtfully for a moment and then she nodded. “I would like you to get to know our son and I would be open to you and I having a conversation about where we go from there.”

He couldn’t help the smile that crawled across his face. He left the chateau with a spring in his step.

The truth was, he had not been happy since he’d left court shortly after her wedding. He hadn’t thought he could share her, open relationship with her husband or not. But an even larger concern had been his fear of openly loving her, thereby making her a target for his enemies, which were many.

He would never be comfortable being physically affectionate with her in front of others, he was more private than that, but if there was still a relationship to be had with her, there couldn’t be a more perfect cover than her marriage. No one ever had to know what she meant to him, or that he had a child. They could therefore never be used against him.

The thought of rekindling what they once had made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a long time….happiness.

It was entirely possible that things had worked out for him after all.

#vying for versailles #rc vying for versailles #rc vfv #rc alexandre #rc renée #fanfiction #fanfic #romance club #vfv

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webanglikethat · 4 months

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How can he be guilty as sin? (A Wyatt one shot)

Published: 08/06/24 Words: 1,767 Summary: Wyatt, a member of the royal guard, struggles with forbidden feelings for Princess Ellaire, knowing that his duty demands unwavering loyalty, not love. as he battles his heart's desires, he begins questioning whether his deep devotion is a sin or the truest expression of his allegiance. Ao3: read here and please leave a comment!! Note: I haven’t finished HoT yet so don’t spoil anything !! and this is for my best friend Agrima 💙

Wyatt knew it was wrong. he had always known that harboring feelings towards the princess, the future Queen of his homeland, was a mistrial in the temple of his feelings. he shouldn’t be feeling this way because no other emotion other than interminable loyalty should flow through the veins connected to his heart. or at least that’s what he kept repeating himself as she walked past him, gifting him one of those secret smiles of hers that she kept just for him, like an oath only they knew the words to. he knew, deep down, that harboring such feelings for the princess was not only forbidden but also fundamentally wrong. as a member of the royal guard, his allegiance was first and foremost to the crown, to serve and protect without question or hesitation. anything beyond that — especially feelings of affection or longing — was a transgression and transaction he could ill afford.

and yet, each time her eyes met his, Wyatt felt a pull stronger than his sense of duty, tempting him to forget his role and forget it all, as long as he didn’t forget her. her smile, delicate and sweet, stirred something deep within him, a longing he had no right to feel, a longing that didn’t belong to him, a longing he couldn’t spare. after all, he was but a mere queensguard and he had been one since the age of two, when he was elected for this specific role, thanks not only to his skills but in part to the legacy his father was building. but that didn’t mean Wyatt had the right to feel what he felt, for he was a mere civilian, and she the Queen to be. how could he even dare to think of her like that? how could he dare envision his lips tracing doodles on her body, immortalizing it as a piece of art? sometimes he could swear he felt her warm hand squeezing his, and differentiating wishful thinking from reality had become his newest enemy, one he couldn’t escape or reach. how cruel fate was, to play such games with his mind, holding his heart hostage, squeezing it until it confessed the emotion’s name his lips didn’t dare to utter.

so he clenched his fists, trying to force the inappropriate emotions back into the recesses of his mind where they belonged, like a dirty secret he couldn’t risk being brought to life. for some people, the skeleton in their closet was an actual corpse, but to him, it was his own traitorous heart. so loyalty, he reminded himself. honor. duty. a legacy to uphold. he repeated these four terms in his mind until they all swirled into one, but being warned by God didn’t stop Eve from biting the apple and therefore, forcing himself to not feel anything didn’t stop the emotions from threatening to overflow. not even the shackles of fate can hold back a lover’s desire.

as she drifted further down the corridor, her laughter ringing softly in his ears, a melody he couldn’t stop replaying in the secrecy of his room at night, Wyatt couldn't help but wonder if she sensed his turmoil. did she know the effect she had on him? did she feel the same forbidden spark? did she feel the same pull, forcing her to linger by his door sometimes, just to hear his breath and know he was alright? did she too keep these longings locked inside? was he too more than just a friend to him? the questions gnawed at him, the way a monster would play with his victim to elongate the pain, threatening to unravel the tight control he prided himself on. he shouldn’t think of this, for he didn’t know what was worse — the not knowing, or the knowing — in a scenario where her answer was a refusal. and perhaps that would’ve been better, he told himself. a clear no, a distinct refusal and maybe he could turn off his heart, an organ he didn’t - couldn’t - claim as his own anymore. or perhaps he should stay in his own bubble, drown in memories where holograms of her were the only actress starring unendingly in every moment of his existence. perhaps having her there, a place no one else could get into, was more than he should already be grateful for.

it was especially in the quiet hours of the night, as the world around him slipped into slumber and he eluded the sleep fairy that his thoughts invariably turn to Ellaire. night seemed to always unfailingly be the time his mind's inner thoughts gravitated to her. he wouldn't be surprised if, in the undoing of the grand tapestry of his existence, all else faded but her memory. it was in those moments, bathed in the gentle glow of moonlight, that he would find himself consumed by a most exquisite and excruciating tenderness for her. he had known her for his whole life, had begun caring for her before he could even learn how to draw a sword since he was raised to protect and care for her, so truly, who could condemn him for his affection love? she had been the foundation of his existence, and he’d do anything to keep hers intact.

to him, she was akin to the moon, for she was the only glow in his longest nights, a light he could always count on to guide him home. she was a star, one of those important ones that you never get tired of contemplating — the one you run to look for as soon as the sun goes down and a golden light begins to twinkle behind the clouds. she held that same light that guides lost fools in a storm’s disaster, which makes you fall in love with the night and makes you plead to remove your own eyes, so you could bask in it eternally. at last, Wyatt understood why kingdoms would lose their minds over love, why rulers would forsake their crowns for just one kiss from the woman they adored. he understood it all, trapped in the same desire.

and he .. well, what was Wyatt? there were so many small stars in this vastness called universe so how could he expect to be important to her? he was just one doodle among many more, another black shade in this sky, a planet out of human sight. even if he dared to imagine himself next to her, he knew it could never be the way he painted it in his mind. there would be no great dark ink depicting their story, no grandiose declaration of devotion etched into the annals of history, and he would remain a footnote in the story of her existence, a forgotten annotation in the manuscript of her grandeur. but as long as she was the name on its cover, he didn’t mind being nothing more than a spectator. for as long as she shone brightly, he could drown in the darkest shadows and he’d laugh with the utmost joy.

but even as he belittled himself, Wyatt knew that his loyalty and devotion were unmatched. he knew that wherever Ellaire went, he would follow. should she ask him to close his eyes and lead her to inferno itself, he wouldn’t deny her request. together, they would face the unknown, and he would protect her, as he had always sworn to do. for Wyatt, the thought of denying her anything, of refusing her even the most perilous of requests, was inconceivable. he would risk his life if it meant she got to exist in his stead. he’d give her his heart if she’d only ask him and he’d unstitch every vein to give her the prettiest part, deign of a Queen. he’d bleed himself dry to keep her warm with the tepidity of his vital claret if she was cold. he would’ve done anything for her — unraveling his sanity to preserve hers and giving up all knew for her; for who was he, if she wasn’t there? he’d grown up knowing her, and so he would die.

in her, he found his purpose to exist. she was the embodiment of everything he held dear, the light that illuminated his darkest corners. and though he may never be more than a shadow in her radiance, he would stand by her side, hanging onto every ray of light she shone, akin to a drunken man holding onto the lips of their lover knowing their doom. in her luminescence, he discovered a solace that outweighed anything he had ever seen or felt before, willing him to face any fate as long as he could remain even as a fading phantom in her orbit.

as the echoes of her laughter faded into the distance, Wyatt found himself enveloped in the stillness of the night again, his thoughts consumed by the woman who held his heart in her hands. and maybe, giving up something so vital was freedom in itself. and for a moment, Wyatt dared to entertain the possibility that his love for Ellaire was not a sin to be condemned but a sacred calling to be embraced. what if, he thought to himself, the way he felt was not a betrayal of his allegiance but the truest expression of his devotion? what if the way he held her was the holiest subject of his faith? what if the words slipping from her lips were a religion he had woven into his soul? what if his lingering touch, so wrong yet so right, was the prayer he whispered in the quiet of his heart?

so truly, how could he be guilty as sin, when love is the first virtue a person learns? was it not love that led Eve to take that fateful bite, trusting in the bond she shared with Adam? and if love was the foundation upon which humanity was built, how could he be faulted for following its lead? love, the most primal and pure of all virtues, surely could not be a sin. if Eve’s love for Adam sparked the beginning of life, then how could he be condemned for allowing love to guide his actions?

so he wondered, how could his protection, his love be a sin, when it was the foundation of his existence and of humanity’s history?

so may them condemn him all they want, he thought to himself, for he now knew that love was the longest-standing temple of humanity, the only divinity to be revered.

and he’d die fighting for his religion, his love, his Ellaire.

love, above all, was the truest form of sanctity, and he’d rather die a sinner for her, than a nonbeliever.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳

taglist: @annn-starrr, @pawaki17luna, @goddessofwonderland, @liykaii💙

#JB is writing #heart of trespia #rc hot #romance club #romance club fanfic #rc fanfic #rc ff #rc fanfiction #romance club game #romance club ff #rc wyatt #rc ellaire #rc heart of trespia #romance club heart of trespia #Spotify

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