#ray's father is so concerned about ray's alcoholism but literally keeps alcohol all over the house

[t-u-i-t-c]

finished only f*iends

[l-eternity-l]

-Loving You

summary. - when a young lady has a little bit too much to drink, a certain singer comes to her rescue.

pairing. - Elvis x Black OC

warnings. - age gap, alcohol, creepy dude

word count. - 3k

author's note. - ahhh okay guys this is my first fic. I'm honestly thinking about turning this into a long series because I already have an idea for a few more chapters. The only thing is I don't know what name to give the character so I literally just named her after me, but I really want to change it. I hope you guys enjoy!!! (also feel free to send request!!)

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MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE 1957 The Country Club

    MERCEDES clapped her hands together as her brothers finished rehearsing their new hit song.

  "You guys sound great," she tells her brothers as people walk onto the little stage at the front of the building, fixing the boy's microphones and retuning instruments.

  "We did just as expected" Luther breathed out "everyone was off-key, not to mention Raymond forgot the damn words" he takes a quick sip of his water before handing it to Mercedes.

"Oh, can it Luther!" Raymond speaks up "why don't you focus on whatever the hell you need to do and stay the hell outta my business" Luther sends him a harsh glare.

  "This is my business Raymond, fuck it's all of our business. These people pay us to put on a good show".

"Okay, so what!" Raymond becomes more frustrated by the second "all you ever wanna do is please some white man by dancing and singing like a damn fool, you ever realize I don't put effort into this shit because I don't care!" he throws his water onto the ground before storming off the stage. Mercedes sighs.

  "Why do you guys always have to do this" before her brother can respond she keeps going "always doin' something right before you have to perform. you know he may not be coming back" Luther shrugs.

  As far as everyone was concerned, Luther cared more about the music industry than anyone in the world-- blasting music and putting his all into everything the band did.

  He played the instruments, mixed the records, and wrote most of the lyrics. people may say that he takes some things too seriously but Luther never cared--he was going to be a star and no one would hold him back from that. not even his own family.

  "As if we need him, if push comes to shove we pull you up here and make Jerome a back up".

  "Hey" Jerome yells out "don't punish me for what ray did" Luther just shrugs him off, walking over to his brother Ronnie "Raymond just needs a second to calm down, he’ll come back after he's had a smoke" The boy tries his best to reason with his angry brother.

  Jerome and Mercedes were less than a year apart, their parents not being able to wait another second to try for a girl.

  Even though he's one of the lead singers, people still tend to forget about him, especially his mother.

  Jerome has no interest in being famous--by the time he was born his brother had already started their carer singing outside of their father's barbershop to bring attention to it. Jerome's real dream is to become a pilot --singing is just a small hobby to him.

  "I don't know why you ain't performing now Sadie" Ronnie speaks up causing the young girl to roll her eyes and lean up against the stage with her arms crossed.

  "Because the women specifically asked for a male quartet. those poor girls have a hard enough time keeping their men from cheating under their own roof, much less outside of it" she picks at the skin around her nails in boredom.

  Mercedes has always been the most outspoken of the siblings, the exact opposite of what her mother wants from her. The only one their mother actually likes is Ronnie.

  Ronnie is the quiet sibling, he does whatever his mother says--doesn't matter if it's something small as bringing her the TV remote that's right next to her, or big as donating a kidney, Ronnie would do it in a heartbeat.

  Even though he does all of this for his mother, it doesn't save him from being called ungrateful and useless--but that's just how things went in the Estelle household.

  "If it were up to me you'd replace Raymond right now, he's sloppy and he doesn't care about anything or anyone," Ronnie says fixing his bow tie in the reflection of a mirror.

  In the boys' defense, Raymond has been causing issues lately. if he's not showing up to rehearse late then he's off with some girl, it drives their mom crazy, which only causes her to snap at the rest of them.

  Raymond wasn't always like this. As a child, he was charming and loved to sing and dance when company came over. it wasn't until his mom and dad started fighting, he came a little devil.

  Raymond has gone through more than the other siblings--having to be the one who dealt with their mom and her outburst when dad had got done beating on her. When their dad had just died and their mom left, Raymond was the one to take care of everyone.

  After all these years, Raymond's care for anyone but himself faded, and so did his relationship with his family.

  "You know mama wouldn't let that happen. He has a great voice, he just doesn't like to perform. Thinks it's silly" Mercedes reminds her brother "besides, he's just angry because it's gettin' late and he ain't had dinner yet".

  "Well, he needs to get over it because people are gonna start showin' up soon. We've only got a few minutes of rehearsal time left" the girl pushes off of the stage.

  "I'll go try and find him, you guys just keep practicing".

...

  Mercedes wanders around the expensive country club in an attempt to find her oldest brother.

  After what felt like hours but was only a couple of minutes, she found him leaning against their car with a freshly lit cigarette between his lips.

  "I ain't goin' back in there" Raymond starts before his sister even gets the chance to speak "I ain't gonna make a fool of myself for all of those people. singin' bout love and rainbows and girls all while swayin' back and forth and dancin'".

   He takes a long drag of smoke before continuing "I'm gonna quit and tell momma to go get somebody else to do it. I ain't doin' this shit no more!".

  "Are you done," Mercedes ask, unamused by his outburst "because you have a show to do and all of your brothers are waiting on you to stop throwing yourself a pity party" he shakes his head.

  "You're just as bad as the rest of them Sadie. if you think doing dumb shit like this is what's gonna help us be famous then you go and do it. I know father wouldn't have wanted this for us, he wanted us to be stars, not clowns" he take another long drag "and I ain't gonna be a clown no more".

  "I don't care what you wanna do or what you don't wanna do, it's about what you gotta do. Fathers gone and Mommas crazy, we gotta make ends meet somehow" the boy tosses his cigarette on the ground and crushes it with his heel.

  "I can't keep on doin' this stuff Sadie. I wanna be able to do what I want with my life, not what momma wants." Much as Mercedes wanted to tell her brother he could do that, she also didn't want to lie to him.

  "Look I don't like the way momma does stuff around here either, but as long as we live under her roof, we have to do what she says." he runs his hand through his thick hair "We need you ray" she places his hand on his arm "Only for a few more years, then we can stop doing shows and just make music" he lets out a long sigh.

  "Let's just head back," he slides his hands in his pockets and starts to walk away from the car, Mercedes next to him "Mamas gonna be here in a few minutes and if I'm not there she'll just take it out on y'all".

"See now you're using your brain" his large hand forcefully shoves her away from him "Oww, what the hell-".

"Go find somethin' to do while we rehearse, you look like you wanna put a pistol in your mouth just sitting there".

If Mercedes was being completely honest, her brother wasn't wrong. they've all performed together since childhood, her and Jerome switching who'd lead, often doing duets. Any time Mercedes didn't get the chance to perform she felt an extreme sense of jealousy. Her mother only ever took her out saying it looked better with the boys singing, the boys are too tall and she doesn't fit in, and that four people on stage looked better than five. All this did was make Mercedes want to perform more.

  Mercedes and her mother didn't have the most loving relationship. After Luther was born, all Her dad ever talked about was having a girl-- after begging for years she agreed but they had another boy. This only fueled his want for a little girl more and they immediately had another child, even though Grace never wanted more than 3 kids. Soon after Mercedes was born, her father passed away from an unknown illness-- leaving her mother alone with 5 kids. Because of this Grace had resented her youngest child for years. Mercedes being unruly and never taking no for answer, only made this situation worse.  

She walked around the country club for a few minutes, trying to find something to cure her growing boredom. She feels an arm brush against her and quickly moves over to give the person more room, only they don't walk away. Mercedes glances up at the culprit. The man was older, maybe 25-35, with jet-black hair that was combed over and slicked down. you could see the gel glistening from the lights. He held a cigarette in his hand and sported a kind yet devious smirk.

"I'm sorry sir" Mercedes voices, quick to apologize in an attempt to avoid conflict. he waves his hand as if to dismiss her apology.

"Don't worry honey, it was my fault. What are you doin' here anyways" his gentle voice surprised Mercedes. Though the girl has never had a bad interaction with a white person before, she had heard many war stories of what her people go through on a daily basis-- this lead her to avoid them as much as humanly possible. "don't seem like the kind of place you'd find a nice young lady such as yourself," thought every cell in Mercedes's body told her to run away from the man, something else was begging her to stay--to figure out what it was this man wanted.

"I'm here with my brothers, they're performing tonight" he slowly nods his head.

"And they left you all alone out here, all by yourself" he sets his hand on her arm, a gesture that would normally make her pull away with fear, but the kind smile on his face seemed to soothe the thoughts that ran through her head.

"What? don't think I can take of myself" she says dripping with fake innocence. his smile grows.

"Oh the exact opposite," he moves his arm around to the small of her back, leading her away from where they stood "Why don't you come sit with me and my friends while you wait for your brothers, they're right over here," thought the situation feels off, Mercedes doesn't really have anything else to do at this party-- Not to mention, she loves the thrill of a little danger.

...

  Surprisingly, she ends up having a good time, talking to the men along with some of their girlfriends. They talk about music and performing while they sip on their expensive drinks. the night was going well and her brothers were putting on a good show, even though Raymond looked like he wanted to die the entire time. She sat beside the man she had met earlier, James. He had his arm resting on the back of her chair as he bragged about his yacht club and how much his soap company makes in a month. Even though Mercedes couldn't give a shit about his boat and his money, she did enjoy the drinks that the man kept handing her, Loving the burn of her stomach as she sipped on the fruity cocktails. One of the boy's songs comes to an end as Mercedes laughs at another one James' corny jokes. normally she wouldn't have, but her intoxication could make her laugh at a blank wall.

  "So," he pulls the drink away from her lips "why don't we get out of here" he runs his course hand up and down her knee, going a bit further each time "we should head someplace a bit more private". though Mercedes was so out of it she could barely form a sentence, she knew when something sounded sketchy. and in that very moment, she realized just how close he was to her. she clears her throat, sliding her chair a bit further away.

  "Yeah," she pushes his hand off of her leg, "I think I'm gonna have to pass on that" She lets out a nervous giggle as she takes another sip of her drink.

  "Don't be like that, I bought you all of these drinks and you're not gonna give me something in return" he leans to place a kiss on her cheek before whispering in her ear "Come on baby, I'll take you to my boat."

  "Sorry Captian, guess I'm not the girl you took me for" the man plasters on a fake smile, sliding his hand back onto her knee.

  "Why don't you have another drink, maybe then you'll change your mind" she pushes him off again, the chair letting out a loud cry as she stands with haste.

  "I've gotta go check on my brothers, I'll be back later" Mercedes says in an attempt to remove herself from the situation. She shoots the others at the table a quick smile before she quickly maneuvers her way through the crowd with unsteady feet, using the wall as a crutch. A sea of various people occupied the dance floor as she tries her best to make it to a less crowded area. The girl spots some public restrooms not too far away and makes her way toward them, stumbling with every step. Once she's there she lies against the side of the building before sinking to the plush grass, resting her head against the smooth concrete wall, a nauseating feeling overcoming her. Mercedes knew that people got drunk, hell she had to carry Raymond back into the house several times, but what she didn't know was how it felt. Her vision was clouded and her head was pounding. it felt as though her world was spinning. For a second, she even wondered if the man had slipped something inside her drink. The distant sounds of toilets flushing could be heard as she tried her best to regain her composure.

  "You okay there?" a southern voice draws her out of her dazed state. Mercedes looks up to yet another white man with slicked-back hair, only this time it was a bit longer and more in his face. though she felt like she really shouldn't be talking to him, the alcohol had clouded her judgment.

  "Umm... no. I don't know" Mercedes drops her head into her hands "I drank," she tells him.

  He lets out a slight chuckle "Well I can see that" he sits down next to her, lighting the cigarette between his lips. "What's a pretty girl like you doin' out here all alone?" he asks. Mercedes knows this trick all too well--in fact, she had experienced this trick less than two hours ago.

"I ain't gonna leave with you" her words slurred together, getting to the point as soon as possible.

"I ain't tryna take you anywhere honey, just wanted to make sure you aren't here alone. My name is Elvis, what's yours?".

"Sadie, and I'm not alone, 'm here with my mom and my brothers. There performing tonight." he hums.

"Your brothers are the Estelle's" the girl nods "I used to play basketball with them. I remember when you were just a baby. Your momma let you drink at this age?" he asked tilting his head. she shakes no.

  "No, she doesn't. But what she doesn't know won't hurt her" he raises his brows, amused at the girl's response.

  "Guess no one can tell you anything huh?" Elvis's voice was laced with sarcasm. Mercedes- not finding his little joke too funny, rolls her eyes.

  "What do you want" you'd swear you could see the annoyance radiating from the girl's body.

  "As I said before, I just wanna make sure you're okay" The girl scoffs as she tries to push herself back to her feet, failing miserably. Luckily Elvis helped her before she slid back down the wall.

  "Well, you can go find some other dame to save because I'm fine" The amusing thing is that Mercedes is definitely not fine, seeing as the only thing holding her up is Elvis.

  "I'll believe that when hell freezes over." he moves her arm around his shoulder for support before he leads begins to lead her away from the restrooms "Don't worry little girl, I'm gonna take you to your momma" she immediately starts to resist against his attempts to move.

  "No!" she says franticly "Are you crazy? If she finds out she'll beat me 'till I'm black and blue" Elvis stops for a moment, trying to think of a better option.

  "Okay, then I'll go get your brothers. How 'bout that?" Elvis offers.

  "No they'll kill me too " she argues "If they find out I was talking to a man they'd...they'd...oh, I don't know what they'd do but I know it wouldn't be pretty."

  "Look I gotta tell somebody, I can't just leave you sitting here drunk outta your mind!" Mercedes lets out a frustrated sigh "I don't care how mad it makes you you've gotta chose somebody. So who will it be? Your brothers or your mom?" Though both options sounded like a death wish, she knew that her brothers wouldn't lay a hand on her-- the most they would do is yell at her for a few hours and act distant for a day or two.

  "My brothers have an intermission in a few minutes, they usually smoke by the car." Mercedes reluctantly tells him, slightly pissed at the fact he's so hell-bent on getting her in trouble today.

PART TWO IS POSTED!!

[songsofacagedbird]

Is that BALIAN “BALO” DRISKELL? Wow, they do look a lot like EMILIIE DE RAVIN I hear SHE is an EIGHTEEN year old high school SENIOR. Word is they are a REGULAR student at Luxor Academy. You should watch out because they can be NAIVE and SENSITIVE, but on the bright side they can also be BUBBLY and OPTIMISTIC. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.

the basics //

Full Name: Balian “Balo” Grace Driskell

Preferred Name: Balo Driskell

Age: 18

Birthday: February 23rd

Zodiac: Pisces

Gender & Pronouns: Woman (She/Hers)

Sexuality: Balo doesn’t label her sexuality, she’s part of the LGBT+ community (and has canonly dated both girls and boys) but she doesn’t feel comfortable labeling it personally.

Occupation: N/A, she occasionally does commissions though (both art and in like making clothes)

Relationship Status: In a relationship with Cade Carroll (npc) since early May 

Place of Birth: Rochester, New York

Hometown: Saratoga Springs, New York

Country of Citizenship: United States

Languages Spoken: English (first) and French

deeper dive //

Hobbies and Talents:

 ○ Sketching (in particular people and animals, an inspiration board for her sketch book can be found here.)

 ○ Painting

 ○ Gymnastics (her leg is her left leg! By “her leg” I mean the leg she leads off with / does her split with for her floor routine / has better balance)

 ○ Fashion Design and Sewing

 ○ Cheerleading

 ○ Gymnastics

 ○ Yoga

 ○ Roller Skating

 ○ Scrapbooking

 ○ Dancing (a hobby, not a talent)

 ○ She can touch her nose with her tongue

Favorites:

 ○ Color: The entire rainbow, Balo has issues with picking one favorite color so she doesn’t choose.

 ○ Food: Balo’s not the biggest on food but she has a weakness for popcorn. Extra butter, light on the salt.

 ○ Animal: Cats

 ○ Drink: Hot Chocolate

 ○ Flower: Sunflowers

 ○ Book: a fairy tale collection she got from Zander when she was a child

 ○ Holiday: Christmas, to the point she’ll start decorating as early as she can. (June? Why not!)

 ○ Movie: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

 ○ Scent: Strawberries, real a bit more than the artificial but she adores both.

 ○ Place: Her “little art studio” (technically just a corner of her room with her art supplies).

 ○ Quote:

“Butterflies can’t see their wings. They can’t see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.” - Unknown

Bêtes Noires:

 ○ Color: Dark brown, although she won’t admit to it

 ○ Food: Chicken à la King

 ○ Animal: Spiders, Balo does not like spiders and would like to stay far away from them

 ○ Drink: Matcha

 ○ Flower: Nepenthes peltata

 ○ Book: The Divergent Books

 ○ Holiday: 4th of July

 ○ Movie: Rugrats in Paris, she thinks it’s practically a horror movie

 ○ Scent: Garlic

 ○ Place: The Driskell family home in Saratoga Springs

health //  

Conditions:

          ○ Anorexia Nervosa

          ○ HIV

Allergies: N/A

Sleeping Habits: Balo gets to bed usually at a good time and sleeps 8 hours at a shot.

Exercise Habits: She exercises multiple times of day, between gymnastics and cheerleading, it’s important she’s in prime shape. Dance and Yoga are her go-tos outside of practice.

Addictions: N/A

Drug Use: Very rarely. After a bad LSD trip (when she wasn’t aware she was being drugged until after the fact), she’s very wary of drugs on average.

Alcohol Use: Occasionally. Balo doesn’t have a high alcohol tolerance, she gets tipsy after one drink and if she keeps drinking, after a couple the odds of her stripping are extremely high. (It’s not a sexual thing, she overheats and doesn’t really think about the consequences).

personality //  

MBTI: ESFP

Enneagram: 2w3 (The Helper with The Achiever Wing)

Alignment: Neutral Good

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Percy Jackson Parent: Iris

Pokémon Type: Dragon

Pokémon Subtype: Ghost

Winx: Nature

appearance //  

Height:  5′11” – not at fc height (I enjoy her being a few cm taller than Zander too much to put her at fc now #oops)

Tattoos: One

Scars: None

Piercings: Ears

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Blue

Fashion:

 ○ link to balo’s closet

 ○ link to balo’s shoes

life at luxor //  

Classes:

 ○ Communications

 ○ French

 ○ General P.E.

 ○ Visual Arts

 ○ Fashion Design

 ○ Human Biology

 ○ Beginner Ballet

Clubs and Activities:

 ○ Art Club

 ○ Cheerleading (Flyer)

 ○  Gymnastics

fun facts //  

 ○ Balo has been attending Luxor since her Freshman year.

 ○ Balo’s kind of a literal ray of sunshine who believes (almost) everyone is truly good at heart.

 ○ Very easy to manipulate, please manipulate her. I’ll literally give you my firstborn.

 ○ Usually you’ll see her running around with a smile trying to brighten everyone’s day. She tries to put everyone’s happiness before herself, however, she’s slowly getting better about forming boundaries.

 ○ While it’d be easy to assume Balo’s dumb, that’s not quite the case. She only remembers the information she wants to. The issue is... most of the information she wants to learn is relatively useless. Want to know how to sew sutures? She’s your girl. Want to know the definition of cannibalism? Well, ask Jack how that goes.

 ○ She has two teddy bears and an American Girl doll living on her dresser. Duffy, Shelley-Mae, and Robin Banks. They’re decorative, but they make her happy.

 ○ One of her best friends is Logan Keller, the boy who went missing during the summer camping trip. The two are still in touch, and extremely close, so occasionally he gets mentioned here and there, but it’s still a sore spot for her (I am still in touch with the person who played him, so I run stuff by his mun when / if he comes up).

 ○ Jack’s adoptive parents recently adopted her, although she hasn’t said a lot about it. Your muse probably won’t know unless one of the two directly told them (or they heard it from Zander). It’s not a secret, she just didn’t make an announcement or anything.

 ○ In October 2019, Zander had an intervention for her to force her to get help for her eating disorder. She was in inpatient until April 2020, when she returned to Luxor.

 ○ Cheer and Gymnastics team member from Freshmen year until her intervention, and she returned to both teams this fall with the new school year.

 ○ Balo’s left handed (the only one of my muses that is a lefty)!

 ○   I’m aware Balo’s family page can be complicated, please feel free to dm me with questions. Also, please remember Balo doesn’t know she’s Daniel’s daughter, let alone the fact there’s even a chance Lance isn’t her father, which means your muse has absolutely no way of knowing this.

 ○ Befriended a stray racoon on the Lake George campus she named Reese Withercoon.

 ○ Literally only just said her first swear word this June, we’re very proud of her for finally getting that done. (#ThanksAxelAndLeo)

 ○ Balo finds the Winnie the Pooh theme song extremely soothing, which resulted in her naming a certain group chat with a set of friends the 100 Acre Woods - because she finds spending time with them soothing too.

 ○ I’m always willing to discuss my muses, so feel free to hit me up if you have any questions at any point.

a tl;dr history  //  

 ○ Balo’s home life growing up was far from perfect. Her father, Lance - is an abusive alcoholic, and while her mother tried her best to protect her children - she also covered things up without hesitation because she loves her husband. It wasn’t uncommon to see a Driskell in the ER with a lie and people willing to back up the story.

 ○ Balo was conceived during the time Lance and Cassandra were seperated the only time that her mother tried to leave. She’s completely unaware that she’s not Lance’s biological daughter (as is everyone else).

 ○ She’s been attending Luxor since freshman year, although she had to leave in the middle of her Junior year had to leave for a few months to attend extensive inpatient treatment. She came back in April, although she could not rejoin the cheerleading and gymnastic teams until her therapist confirmed she was doing well (so the start of her senior year) because of concerns about her well-being.

 ○ She was disowned following her HIV diagnosis over the fall. Over the winter, the Fieldings adopted Balo.

 ○ I strongly recommend skimming Balo’s timeline page before interacting with her. These are just the bare minimum basics, and there're more things your muse may know on there.

wanted connections //  

 ○ Friendships

 ○ Someone to manipulate her, please I beg you

 ○ Anyone who knows her from the gymnastics and/or cheer teams, or the art club

[guacameowle]

V’s After End - Notes / Opinion

Below the cut will be my reactions, opinions, & spoilers for V’s After Ending episodes & endings. There’s a sprinkling of ~thirst~ & a lot of confusion/screaming throughout. I am afraid I haven’t gone back to proofread the episode reactions, so they’re likely a little messy & misspelled. 

Episode reactions are at the top, separated by episode & endings. Long-winded opinion/discussion about the route itself is at the bottom.

Journey below at your own risk! xx

Episode 1

80 hourglasses for EPISODE ONE? Oh this man is EXPENSIIIIVE. How many episodes is this going to be? 8 TOTAL?! Goodness.

JUDGE OR FORGIVE?! Who am I judging & forgiving? Jihyun? Rika? Cauuuuuse... uhhhh.... that might change my answers a bit (a lot)

So this means there is going to be multiple endings, yeah?!

Probably hasn’t even kissed you yet & is already packing up, leaving, & asking you to wait for him. I WAIT FOR NO MAN (Jk I waited for this man for over a year. Fuck.)

Oh shiiiit. He’s leaving me his house?! Ok, I’ll wait. Have fun storming the castle! *waves*

Excuse me but does the news screen on Jumin’s tv in his room show a picture of Rika & a caption underneath that says “More Catfood”???

The bottom of the news reel also says “Does Jumin Han is Gay?” Please, release us. Let it die.

JUUUMIIIIN. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. Let us comfort each other in these trying times. *waggles eyebrows*

JAEHEE COMING THROUGH WITH SOME GODDAMN SENSE & LOGIC. MY GIRL!

SOMEONE GET THIS MAN HIS WINE! Ohhh, nevermind he’s been drinking too much. Let’s have some water now, Juju.

This man is mourning & distraught. I am so sad for him. & now they’re making him dependent on alcohol to relieve his stress? Uh, I don’t like where this is going.

If anything happens to Jumin in this ending I swear...

WE HAVE CHATS TOO?! Damn what a complex update!

Wait, Zen WANTS to see MC & Jihyun being lovey dovey? Zen’s an imposter. He’s been replaced. That’s the real secret of this After End.

Oh wait, he said he was lying. Whew.

It is weird giving replies in chats & not seeing little colorful hearts flying everywhere…

Zen coming in HOT with the “Do you think you can forgive Rika?” question. Woooow.

You bet your ass I asked if anyone has heard anything from Ray. I’m going to cry.

NEW SEVEN CG! SO CUTE! VANDERWOOD IN THE RAFT! SO CUUUUUTE!

“He’s an adorable shy man.” Instantly chose this option. Vanderwood is cuuuute. Yes, Seven, please tell Vandy that I called him adorable & shy. Then tell me his reply. Then give him my number.

Yoosung’s got a package. I’M SURE HE DOES. ::eyes emoji::

OH SHIT, JUMIN DROPPING THE DNA BOMB. Wait, riddle me why the fuck Jumin had access to Seven’s DNA in the first place...

Poor Seven, I thought he had already sort of knew/assumed the hacker was his twin. But I guess he didn’t really know until now?

Looks like I’m on the “FORGIVE” path. Unlocked a Jumin’s VA free chat. Alriiiight.

Episode 2

Ray? Omg my eyes teared up. IS HE ALIVE?! WHAT KINDA SHORT TEASE OF A VOICE IS THAT?! OMFGGGGG. D:

Episode 2 & I’m already fucking crying. Great. Awesome. Lovely.

Honestly, I’m glad they’re having this discussion about V keeping all this information to himself about Saeran’s existence & use within Magenta because that’s always had me side-eyeing V HARD. I’m still of the opinion that he should have told at least Seven & Jumin about everything sooner. I get that he wanted to save Rika, but he was responsible for Saeran. I’m still heated.

SAEYOUNG HAS GONE ROGUE!

Mailman route when?! Kidding. His voice is nice though.

“Burn the letter” JESUS, MC. CALM IT DOWN.

RIKA WENT MISSING. OMFGGGG. THIS AFTER END! I JUST WANTED TO KISS JIHYUN. WHAT THE FRICK FRACK IS GOING ON?!

“We found remnants of DNA that matched with those of Luciel scattered about in the remains of Magenta. Since the explosion was of no ordinary size….” My heart hurts. My head hurts. My soul hurts.

This super sad music is just making me feel worse. I hate this. I’m crying again. I’m getting emotional whiplash.

Ray deserved better. Full stop.

Rika & Saeyoung left alone & Ray’s theme starts playing. How fucking dare this game fuck with me. I’m literally lying on the floor in a ball, playing this game & crying. What the hell.

For a second I saw Saeyoung making that fist in the CG & thought he was about to punch Rika.

Wow can y’all believe Jihyun basically Noped the Fuck Out of his own After End?

Hey Siri, turn off Rika’s voice.

Seven is dropping a lot of truth. ::quietly sips my tea::

God, Saeyoung’s prayer to Saeran is heartbreaking. Props to this VA though, damn he’s good.

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. I’m going to have fun going back & taking the judgement path.

Episode 3

Jumin “THERE WILL BE NO MORE SECRETS” Han fucking coming through! My boy! God, I love him so much.

First sun reference we’ve had. I thought there would be more by now.

Jihyun is out there falling in love with an MC in his head that he’s hardly spoken with since he left. That… can’t be healthy, my dude.

Jumin showing up in the goddamn woods in his suit is hot.

Jumin Han is so so good, y’all. This conversation between him & Saeyoung is absolutely amazing. He’s doing his best to comfort & protect at the same time. He asked about Saeran. He’s encouraging Saeyoung to live, helping him understand he’ll come out of this pain & find new reasons to live. He’s struggling too, but he’s doing so much to reach out & help Saeyoung.

The line about creating a new family, one without blood ties, broke me.

Uhhhh…. who was that? “We found him but that woman is with him.” Saeyoung & Rika?

THE STRESS GAVE ZEN A PIMPLE. Can relate.

Hell yeah I flirted with Zen. He is still prettier than starlight.

“Why don’t you come over? :)” MC. GIRL. …. I like the way you think.

Yoosung: “WELL I’M NOT GANDHI.” I fucking lost my shit.

“Should I drive V’s car?” Uhhhhh YES.

“But you’re gonna have to drive thru the night for hours. I’m kind of worried.” Bitch, I’m from Texas. I got this. 8 hours is a SHORT TRIP.

The disrespect. They aren’t going to let me drive. I don’t need a man to drive me.

DID VANDERWOOD JUST? OMG DID HE? DID HE JUST SHOOT SAEYOUNG?! BITCH, I LOVED YOU????? & YOU DID THIS????

Omg my heart. Why do they play with my emotions like this. Whew. WHEWWW.

VANDERWOOD CG!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Saeyoung is getting a lot of love tonight from his two new dads- Jumin & Vanderwood. Soft love & tough love. Shouting love at you with a gun in your face is new though.

YES! LET’S LOOK FOR A BODY! I STILL HAVE A SHRED OF HOPE RAY IS ALIVE. C’MON CHERITZ, PLEASE.

“Would you mind giving me some spotlight now?” Please let this be foreshadowing. I would eat UP a Vanderwood route.

Is another agency trying to kidnap Saeyoung? I am confusion? His dad?

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. Yoosung’s VA has a cute voice. I liiiiike.

Episode 4

My Yoosung is so sad. This boy has a lot of hate built up in him. First for V, now for Rika &&& V. Goodness.

She? Who the hell is Rika talking about? She who?!

Seems like everyone is concerned that MC will pity or listen to Rika too much. Hmm. Hmm hmmm…

Jumin is getting shit DONE.

2 years flashback. ????

Mika?! Who the fuck? Is this the “she” Rika was talking about earlier?

What he hell kinda narrative? Who is this woman? Supposedly some other girl from the orphanage Rika was a part of. She’s introduced & being used as the device that implanted this idea into Rika’s brain that she had “a devil” inside of her? She’s the reason Rika broke it off with V? Why? This feel like it cheapens everything. & why the hell is she calling Rika “Mina”? Is that Rika’s real name & I just forgot?!

IS RIKA LYING? WHY DID SHE WAIT THIS LONG TO TELL SAEYOUNG ABOUT THIS “STURDY ROOM”? COULD SAERAN REALLY BE ALIVE? Or is she trying to trick Saeyoung into leaving the cabin?!

Ok so the twins’ father has to be in on this somehow. He’s probably the one trying to get Saeyoung, I get that much. Omg... what if the reason they didn’t find proof of Saeran being dead is because his dad snatched up the remains?! Or kidnapped him alive? Or or or

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. This is hard. I want to be mean. 😈

Episode 5

I don’t know why I go into this game thinking I will just get to kiss the pretty boy. Or any boy.

Ok so more hints dropped their dad is probably involved.

“I am waiting for a letter.” GIRL, FUCK V’S LETTER. HE IS NOT HERE. SHIT IS GOING DOWN. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. IF HE WANTS TO BE OFF SMELLING FLOWERS, LET HIM. I AM TIRED.

I hope hope hope they find Saeran. Please please PLEASE.

I FORGOT. IF RAY IS ALIVE HE IS GOING THROUGH DETOX ALONE BURIED UNDER RUBBLE & ASH. I AM LIVID! WHAAAAT! SAVE. HIM.

Zen’s “WOOOOW” made me laugh.

These new CGs are a delight. I like seeing the mix of characters in them, too. Zen’s hand is huge. ::eyes emoji:: 

Maaan, Yoosung really flipped emotional spectrums so fast about Rika. The boy is certainly driven by his emotions.

These philosophical type chats always blow me away. This game really does get you thinking about social constructs. Fun & educating. Huh.

Getting these dirty boys to wash their hands before eating.

SAERAN MADE IT OUT?!

THAT IS SAERAN’S COUGH. OMG. HE IS ALIVE?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SAERAN!!!!

Still on “FORGIVE” path.

Episode 6

Jumin, this is a very roundabout way to tell Saeyoung you care about him & just want to look after him. You long-winded, man. I adore you.

SAEYOUNG HAS MORE VALUE THAN JUST WHAT HIS HACKING ABILITIES CAN BRING TO THE TABLE! LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY, SAEYOUNG. THEY CARE FOR YOU!

10 years?! I don’t know if that is a blessing or a curse. Lol. That’s a lengthy commitment for Saeyoung though.

“Why must we give up one thing once we get something else?” Yeah, Cheritz. Why must we give up one boy once we save the other boy?!?! Hmmmm???? Lmaoooo

Saeyoung in a suit & tie!!!!!!! Niiiiiiice.

How in the hell are they gonna wrap up this story?! It’s gonna be a cliffhanger isn’t it?! Omg...

Did these idiots just straight up leave Zen, Yoosung, & MC in a random cabin in the woods FOR DAYS & go back to civilization on their own? How long does it take to return Rika back to proper authorizes?! Goodness.

WHAT?!

WHAAAAT THE FUCK?!?!

V TOOK SAERAN?! WHEN? HOW? WHAT? 

MY JAW JUST POPPED IT DROPPED SO HARD. WHAT THE SHIIIIIT?!?!

Uhhhh lmao uhm why are they dressed like Jedi? Jihyun is giving Obi Wan vibes right now. I’m cackling, when I shouldn’t be. This is supposed to be a serious moment, goddamnit.

I know Jihyun probably thinks he’s doing right by taking care of Saeran but AGAIN WITH THIS DOING IT ON HIS OWN BUSINESS?! Saeyoung is devastated his brother & all the while Jihyun had actually swooped him away for some self-medicated detox tour? Just more & more secrets. I’m tired.

“Let’s wait until detox is done & you don’t wanna murder your brother. So I booked a flight for next week.” A WEEK? HA! YEAH RIGHT! BEST CANCEL THAT.

Oh, he just keeps booking & cancelling flights. Lmao. Ok. I am less judgmental now.

If Saeyoung & Saeran don’t get a reunion.... I will die inside.

Unlocked the “FORGIVE” ending.

Shit that costs 80hg too? I have nearly depleted what I had saved up!

BUT HOLY SHIT Y’ALL. SAERAN IS ALIVE! 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

“FORGIVE” Ending

This song is hauntingly beautiful.

Who is this speaking?

Is Rika high right now wtf?!

God is a woman.

I am so over all this sun talk. Let. It. Go.

Weren’t security guards left with them at the cabin?! Did Rika just WALK out?!

Of course she’s going to run away & get away with everything. Mhmm ok.

NOW THEY ARE COMING FOR JUMIN’S COMPANY?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD END WTF. I’LL FIGHT. DON’T COME FOR C&R. I’LL THROW DOWN. JUMIN BETTER NOT LOSE EVERYTHING.

So Rika is gone & for no reason Zen & Yoosung & MC are going to stay in the cabin alone? (& not have a threesome?!?!?!)

Jumin is literally putting his own company on the line to protect Saeyoung. This man is amazing. “We’ll rebuild.” My nipples are hard. Jumin has fully aroused me. I would have taken him right on a conference table.  

Welcome to Rika’s Ted Talk

Well.... I am pleased she stepped up & laid the truth all out there. Took us years to get here, lads, but we did it!

Twin cribs. Hmmm.

2 YEARS LATER?! SO THIS CONNECTS TO THE GOOD END OF JIHYUN’S ROUTE?!

2 years, huh... I would have shacked up with Jumin looooong before now. That man is a whole snack. Selfless, sweet, handsome, has a cat. I’m thirsty.

Jumin’s become an alcoholic?! Great. /s I guess this is meant to show just how drastic things are? That Jumin, our token rational & logical man, is resorting to a dangerous lifestyle as a means of coping? I’m heartbroken.

“Have I kept you waiting for too long.” Yes.

His gift better be bringing Saeran on stage because if he unveils a white puzzle I will lose my fucking mind. It is nearly 4am. I haven’t slept. I just want a smooch.

Omg I think it’s happening.

It’s gonna happen.

OMGGGGG

Please let there be a CG of this

IT HAPPENED!!!!! THEY REUNITED!!!! OMG!!!!!

LONGEST HELL YEAH BOOOOY OF MY LIFE

Pink suit pink suit pink suit PINK SUIT!!!! 💗

Ohhhh... Saeran has burns all over his face & his hand. Is his whole left side burned? My poor boy.

5 years later?!? (Mmmm think about mid30s Jumin Han though 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻)

*gasp* A BABY!

Holy shit, not a baby. A full child.

Awwww Saeyoung & Saeran live together!!

YEEESSSS. GET THIS LITTLE GIRL INTO STEM!!!! 

“When is Uncle Jumin gonna marry.” I marry him every few weeks, little girl. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 when I reread his endings.

“Daddy thinks he will never get married.” I am now sad. I want to marry Jumin.

Jaehee got a promotion. Good for her. It’s what she deserves.

Aw Lucy is cute. Surprised they didn’t give her Jihyun’s hair color.

Their house has a lot of windows. 👀👀👀 Floor to ceiling windows. 👀👀👀 Good for fucking against. 👀👀👀👀

THIS CHILD IS ALREADY LEARNING TO KEEP SECRETS. NOOOOO. BREAK THIS CHAIN!

“Daddy is good with secrets, too.” TRUST ME, LITTLE GIRL. WE KNOW. WE KNOOOW. Y’all the noise I made when I read this line. Scoff wheezing?! Full exasperation.

“But you tell everything to Mommy!” About fucking time, honestly. How long did it take for him to break his secrets habit?

Ohhhhh she’s adopted! That’s why she doesn’t have his hair color. Curious why they didn’t go with the biological child path? I certainly don’t mind adoption. It definitely feels like a sort of tribute to Rika.

Girl already has a crush on Zen. Ha! Giiiirl, same. Jihyun’s reaction was funny.

I wanna ride Zen’s motorcycle & his diiiiiiiii

7 years later & Yoosung is still addicted to LOLOL. Keep it up, Yoosung. Live your best gaming life.

Now she’s plotting murder against her own dad. Goodness. & Yoosung just TOLD her this entire dark plot of the game. Lmaooooo

What happened to Vanderwood? Did he accept working at C&R? How is he? Is he eating? Did he take a vacation away from Saeyoung? I need to know.

Jihyun’s speech to his wife is sweet. Now kiss!

Omg I can’t believe I didn’t get to smooch him at all. What.

What.

100 HOURGLASSES TO RESET?!?! HIGHWAY ROBBERY! I need to save up all over again for when (if) they drop a Saeran After End

“JUDGE” Ending

No, going back to the place you hate most isn’t a sufficient form of punishment for the crimes you’ve committed. You can’t just punish yourself & call it justice. Thank u, next.

Why the fuck is Rika called Serena now?! How many names does she have?! 

Is Rika really free & just doing her own apology tour?! No trial or hospital involved? I’m????

Yoosung’s dialogue makes it seem like he still wants Rika around. Flip flop. 

I do enjoy that Yoosung is a very emotional character, even if sometimes in the stories I don’t agree with him. He’s always very open & honest with how he feels, even if taken to extremes.

Jaehee’s discussion with Rika was very rational. As expected.

Damn Zen gave her the boot double quick.

Jumin: “You are a minus given a breathing body.” Ohhhhhhh my god. 😮😮😮 & he told her he wants her sent to a lab to have data collected from her. Jumin is ANGRY.

So this discussion with Saeran is meant to be in her own head, yeah?

Ok her discussion with Saeyoung felt real -ish again but then her discussion with Jihyun sounded bizarre & far-fetched again. So has she just been inside her own head this entire time?

What the fuck... is going on.

Wow, let’s toss in some sexual assault via clergymen to spice things up. Alright. /s What the hell is this?

This ending is fucking bonkers

Omg Zen’s robotic reply made me lose my shit. First time I’ve laughed because of this ending.

Poor Vanderwood. He sounded excited to have a line.

Sooo... the ending has just been a mock of how a Rika route would have gone if she had one?

Wait this was all just MC’s dream?! Rika’s dream?

& now Rika is in a coma?!? What? What???!! I’m... tired.

You know what, at least Saeyoung & Saeran are back together. Silver lining. The only silver lining to this madness.

Yoosung got a whole new look again. I’ll admit, for a hot second I thought he had become a cult leader & I was worried.

Sooo... the RFA became some sort of support group for Rika’s victims?????

Jumin doesn’t want to be a part of the meetings because he doesn’t particularly subscribe to their efficiency. Zen just doesn’t want to be involved because he doesn’t want the reminder. Jihyun basically just didn’t show up. So is this to mean the RFA has fallen apart entirely? Rename the group, change your ideals, be more open with each other, & formulate new ways to create charity events/fundraisers. Find a new purpose together! PULL. YOURSELVES. TOGETHER.

Ugh. Ugggghhhhhhh.

So, I’ve sat on this for a little under 24 hours. I let it sink in, in hopes that I could make better sense of it. But honestly, I don’t feel like I have. I feel perhaps this after end should have been listed in a separate section like the secret endings. These episodes certainly read more like a secret ending.

Rather than call this “V’s After End” I think it would make more sense to have called this “V’s Route After End” (or even “Rika’s After End”). This ending felt more like a means of giving closure to the route itself, rather than an acknowledgement of Jihyun’s relationship with MC. We were shown Saeran was alive, we were given Saeyoung & Saeran reunited with one another finally, we got answers as to what happened with Rika & how she ended up in Alaska, we found out why Jihyun was really away for two years, we had Saeyoung & Saeran stepping out from the hunting shadow of their father. Questions were answered, resolutions of sorts were given.

When I think of “after end” I’ll admit, I assumed we would be given a short snippet of story revolving primarily around Jihyun & MC post-good end, like we had for the other characters; not this dramatic saga between the end of the route & before Jihyun returns two years later. 

Jihyun’s route revolved around him understanding his relationship with Rika & then distancing himself from that & trying to find himself. His route felt like it had more Jihyun x Rika content than it did Jihyun x MC content. This After End there was hardly any Jihyun x MC content as he was gone essentially the entire time. He really Noped Out of his own After End; I’m still a bit shocked I paid so many hourglasses for V content.... only to not be given V content. I admit, I feel foolish & cheated, somehow. I went in hoping for more content about a character I was interested in, only to be given this dramatic story revolving around a character I don’t particularly care for.

I’m disappointed that there is a Forgive or Judge aspect to this ending. 

In the Forgive path/end, the blame of Rika’s crimes & actions is pinned on Rika’s mental illness, choice individuals swaying her into taking particular actions ( “embrace your devil” ), and various circumstances she’s had to endure & live through. By introducing this new character (Mika?), are we meant to blame her instead of Rika? Is she a scapegoat since the idea was originally hers & not Rika’s, even though Rika was the one that enacted everything? On top of this, Yoosung is shown to be reading a psychology book & also comes to the conclusion that what Rika has done isn’t really her fault, but the fault of her circumstances. All of this feels like we were being ushered into forgiving Rika and feeling guilty if we don’t. Provided you do choose to forgive Rika, she finds her own inner happiness, becomes “her own sun”, and goes off to live her life in Alaska; no consequences aside from distance (physical & emotionally) from her once friends/family & developing a negative public appeal. This forgive path directly ties in with Jihyun’s good end, implying it’s the better (intended?) ending. That doesn’t sit well with me. MC shouldn’t have to forgive their captor & tormentor in order to achieve their own “good” end. 

In the Judge path/end, the other characters often show hesitancy when MC expresses she will never be able to forgive Rika. There are philosophical chats about what is actually good vs bad, what is just, & who is to decide these sort of standards. We are led to question if holding on to a grudge hurts ourselves or the other party more. And in the end, when we choose to judge Rika, the RFA falls apart; everyone is miserable. Again, the reader is left feeling as if their judgement was too harsh, too cruel, or uncalled for as the consequences of it have seeped out & negatively touched other people. Rika falls into a coma – doesn’t go off to live her life in Alaska, doesn’t find her own inner peace – & this is all because she was blamed or shunned for her actions, as opposed to being forgiven. Why does everyone’s happiness depend on MC forgiving her captor?  It all left a sour taste in my mouth.

I understand the discussion of what is truly good vs bad or what is meant to be just & unjust can go fairly deep, but I feel that discussion applies only to circumstances that are in a grey area. What Rika did (attempted murder, abuse, emotional & physical manipulation, drugging/brainwashing) is clear cut wrong. There is no question that these are bad decisions. It should not be up for debate whether these sorts of actions are “good or bad.” While I do not deny that Rika’s past (whatever it fully may be as I have not read her backstory DLC) has attributed to her behaviors, it does not excuse them. I believe that mental illness does not excuse someone’s actions.

These are two very extreme endings - either Rika gets off free from her actions or she becomes comatose & succumbs to a darkness. Why have these drastic differences when you can merge the two; have Rika go through treatment to help her, serve a punishment that is fitting of her crimes, help her grow & understand, then have forgiveness come later? There were several options within gameplay along the lines of “I hope one day I can forgive her” & “I hope she finds her peace.” I see nothing wrong with not having MC forgive Rika but still wish for progress to be made.

Everyone was happier in the end where you forgave Rika, though. And isn’t that what everyone wanted in the end?

Overall, I didn’t mind Yoosung & Zen portraying the voices that provide the philosophical discussions in the routes and this After End. In fact, I enjoyed the chats with them as I tend to find philosophical discussions thought provoking, even if I do not always agree with what these characters were expressing. While MM is marketed as a visual novel romance, it has never shied away from delving into deeper topics & oftentimes tries to provide a lesson. Perhaps this time, the lesson they hoped to get across, didn’t hit the mark with me.

Yoosung’s emotions were very extreme in this After End. I have come to expect Yoosung being very up front, unapologetic, & pushy with his feelings. In a game where so many characters are often keeping secrets, it’s almost refreshing to have a character that is so viscerally open. Personally, I found it interesting that Yoosung’s feeling towards Rika had flipped so drastically. It was almost as if he was now trying to overcompensate for his previous idolization of her. 

I’m still of the opinion that the world does not deserve Jumin Han. Through his own pain & suffering, through dealing with the disappearance of his dearest friend, through having to come to terms with the fact that a woman he once considered a close friend turned out to be someone so villainous, he has stepped up & even at one point risked his own company, reputation, & livelihood to protect someone he now considered family. He used his time & resources to help as much as he could. He sat & genuinely listened to Saeyoung & calmly gave input despite Saeyoung verbally lashing out at him. I’ll admit I hated that Jumin seemingly became an alcoholic, or at least heavily dependent on wine, during the stretch of time these After Ends covered. He was suffering, but because he needed to keep his shit together, he used liquor as his means of turning off his brain so he wouldn’t think too heavily about what was happening, otherwise he’d spiral. You can bet your ass that every time there was an option to choose “How is Jumin doing?” I took it, because this man needs someone to look out for him while he’s busy looking after everyone else. I love him. He remains my favorite. 

I am thrilled Saeran is alive. I am ecstatic Saeyoung & Saeran got the reunion I had been hoping for (& in both endings!). The doctor part of me really wishes his treatment & recovery occurred in a hospital, instead of some nature tour with Jihyun while wearing Jedi robes, but beggars can’t be choosers in fiction, I suppose. I am glad Saeran is safe, recovering, had the time to heal his relationship with Jihyun, & is living with Saeyoung now. It’s what I wanted for him.

On one hand, I can see why Jihyun kept Saeran being alive a secret (Saeran wasn’t ready to see Saeyoung yet, he was detoxing, he needed more recovery time, he needed the peace away from everything, if Saeyoung knew he would have gone after them immediately rather than wait for some time to pass) but on the other hand, I had had enough of the secrets. I am glad though that the story allowed for Saeyoung to have some hope that Saeran was alive. If the narrative had left no suggestion of hope & Saeyoung had fallen into a depression of sorts, then I feel when Saeran was finally revealed he [Saeyoung] may have not handled it as well. But Saeyoung was given a chance to hope, to grow, to finally relax/settle where he was, & was allowed time himself to recover from everything that happened, which I think helped in how he received Saeran’s reappearance.

Definitive proof that Vanderwood has grown to care about Saeyoung as a person?! Sign me the fuck up. That was amazing. I greatly enjoy Vanderwood.

With Saeyoung, I did enjoy seeing his range of emotion & reactions to this entire ordeal. He was desvasted, broken, distraught, angry. My heart went out to him & I felt his pain. His monologues were great. His reactions felt real. It was a bit jarring to see how readily he was contemplating suicide & how quickly he cast that aside as soon as some other bit of info to cling to came along. I understand, though, that this story took place in a short amount of time & the creators were trying to portray his progression in the time they had. I am tickled that he was offered a 10 year contract with C&R & that he readily accepted. I have enjoyed seeing him begin to accept that he can plant roots somewhere, open up to those around him, & not fear that he’ll one day have to leave.

I was originally miffed that Jihyun went off for two years on his own, seemingly to get over Rika, making MC wait around, before he could commit himself to MC. Knowing now that those two years were actually spent helping to rehabilitate Saeran in seclusion, I am assuaged. A bit.

I am, however, left feeling as though maybe MC isn’t meant to be with Jihyun. I’ve certainly felt as if there is more push to have Jihyun x Rika remain together as Cheritz still doesn’t give, what I would consider, adequate bonding & development between Jihyun x MC (not that 11 days of story in any of the routes could be described as adequate bonding time, lolol). Majority of Jihyun’s scenes (in his route) are about him reminiscing about his past with Rika, rather than discussions that may cultivation a budding relationship with MC. I like Jihyun, but it feels likes it’s been made intentionally hard to romance him. Maybe it was naive of me to hope we would get cute scenes of Jihyun & MC getting to know one another more, or be shown ways Jihyun made it up to MC for being gone for so long, or even a mini date story, or actually seeing the proposal happen, or even a kiss? But I did hope for all of that, so I can’t pretend I’m not sad we didn’t getting to see it. The romance between Jihyun & MC feels brushed aside, like an afterthought, & I was hoping that this After End would finally put it at the forefront of the story told.

While I don’t like how the situation with Rika was handled in either route, & while this After End was not at all what I was expecting (I just wanted to kiss Jihyun, omg), it wasn’t a total loss for me since the twins are reunited & happy, which I think may have been my biggest wish. The voice acting as phenomenal & I can tell how much time & effort Cheritz put into creating this mammoth, complex & thought-provoking story. I’ll be honest & admit that I am upset I spent so many hourglasses for content that seemed packaged as Jihyun content but turned out to be more about Rika, but nothing can be done about that now. 

If I had to pick an ending I preferred, it would definitely be the Forgive End, as there is more happiness for everyone I care about when it concludes. It was nice seeing Jihyun & MC have their little family, even if it was a very brief interaction. Their adoption of a little girl feels like a nod to Rika, of sorts. Perhaps that isn’t what Cheritz intended, & maybe there is no hidden meaning to why they adopted at all, but I am happy to see Jihyun & MC having brought a child into their home to create a family with.

The CGs are beautiful. Is there even a way to unlock the title page Jihyun proposal CG? I didn’t get it in my play-through at all. 

I didn’t hate this After End, but I definitely didn’t love it either. I guess it kind of falls in a strange floaty grey middle area for me, somewhat flat. Hopefully many of y’all enjoyed it! I look forward to seeing what they may give us for Saeran’s After End. I have a feeling that may be a wild story too.

[trevor-brown-artist]

What You Have by @trevor-brown-artist

I think we come into this worlds as whole beings and unlike the popular notion that we find pieces of ourselves as we move through the world I would posit that we loose pieces of ourselves and become fractured reflections of the whole.

Yesterday, while participating in some self care and socializing with a friend I was waiting with her for the bus to come this sweet gentle soul who was clearly intellectually challenged but emotionally more whole then I currently am, floated between me and my friend and at least six other people discussing her concerns about being late for an event due to a tardy bus. Now I don’t know anything about the bus, I don’t take the bus, but let her know before she flitted away that she wouldn’t be punished for something that was beyond her control.

I remember in the moment not feeling putout but feeling giddy by her sincerity and the honesty of her emotions and quite frankly the pure trust she had in engaging with several people she obviously didn’t know. I admired her abandon and wondered what had happened to my own, when did I become so mistrustful when did I withdraw from the world, that this young woman so clearly embraced.

Patricia Jackson, the future mother of my former brother was one of the characters from my childhood that took pieces of me that I never recovered. One of the things she took was my sense of feeling safe in the world and this occurred because of her own personal traumas and abuses that played out in her own insecurities.

These insecurities and obvious mental health issues lead her to feel a level of hostility and jealousy towards me even though I was a child aged in the single digits. Her own trauma and demons lead her to becoming one of my own demons, that I didn’t conquer until much later in life.

This woman my father’s girlfriend felt so threatened by my natural bond with my dad that she sought to beat it out of me. She took a wooden heeled wedge, a very lovely shoe, summery and comfortable and she used this shoe to beat me in my head until I fell unconscious over the tub in the bathroom of the Harlem apartment she shared with my father. When I revived she carried me to the back bedroom that I shared with her daughter who was a few years my senior and then bought me ice to treat the knot that was forming on my head. I’m sure an x-ray of my skull would show the remnants of that trauma I know my fingers remember where that place is on my head decades later.

As she ‘nursed’ me she whispered to me “I will kill you if you tell anyone”, and my single digit aged self beloved her and gave her a piece of my trust that the world was a safe place because clearly it wasn’t, this monster had attacked me, nursed me then threatened me while my father slept in the room only a few feet away, clearly this world wasn’t a safe place.

Marvin Church, my surrogate grandmothers oldest child was methodical in what he took from me, so much so that I didn’t even realize the pieces were missing until decades later, this kind of robbery is masterful and even more devastating.

As a child I was not known to talk back as much as to try to debate a point, as a highly emotional intelligent child I was hyper aware of unfairness and would seek to balance the scales, I didn’t realize this was an un-winnable fact of life, but as a child we have a tendency to see the world in blacks and whites, not the grays that truly color our lives.

In one of these debates with my ‘grandmother’ where my voice wasn’t raised but nevertheless I wasn’t feeling passionate about the topic, her son had come home from work to hear this disagreement and thought mistakenly that I was being disrespectful to his mother, and this man who was at least three decades older decided the best way to handle this insurrection was to punch a child who was one third his age in the stomach, knocking me backwards into the foldaway bed my brother slept on and falling into a chair breathless.

He hurriedly took more of my feeling safe in the world and helped himself to my passion for debating and expressing out rage to injustice, and as I sat there wheezing stunned and dazed about what had just happened he took my belief that there could ever be justice in this world because the crime committed against me was never reported and no one was ever made to atone for my missing pieces.

Robert Raymond Brown, May have participated in giving me life but also sought to take this same life away from me as he wrestled with his own demons bought back from a war we should have never been in.

I have always been a truth teller and this lesson I learned at the hands of my father as he tried to choke the life out of me is that the truth doesn’t matter and it could literally get you killed. The betrayal, shock and pure devastation as a man who had never as much as chastised me mentally took a departure of his senses and was refusing oxygens access to my lungs as he banged my head against his parents carpeted floor and screamed at me he was going to kill me.

Patricide is the word for the killing of a parent.

Filicide is the word you have probably never heard of, for when ones parents tries to kill their offspring.

Not hearing my neck snap or maybe finally coming to his senses and realizing what he was doing he stopped, but wasn’t finished he had more things to take from me. ‘Why don’t you call your grandmother and tell her I was trying to kill you!’, which is exactly what my double digit adolescent mind wanted to do, but the leering way in which these words were delivered, clearly signified this was a trap. And like human beings have done since time immemorial I took flight and left the apartment barely able to see through my tears and shock and made it over to a friends house in the adjacent project where his mother called my grandmother who was at work.

“Effects of Childhood Trauma on Adults

Experiencing abuse or neglect as a child can have a significant impact on an adult's quality of life. The impact can be felt across several areas, such as emotional health, physical health, mental health and personal relationships.

Emotional Health

Survivors of childhood abuse can often experience feelings of anxiety, worry, shame, guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, grief, sadness and anger.

Mental Health 

Surviving abuse or trauma as a child has been linked with higher rates of anxiety, depression, suicide and self harm, PTSD, drug and alcohol misuse and relationship difficulties.

Physical Health 

Children who are exposed to abuse and trauma may develop what is called ‘a heightened stress response’. This can impact their ability to regulate their emotions, lead to sleep difficulties, lower immune function, and increase the risk of a number of physical illnesses throughout adulthood.” - International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies

My mental health and personal relationships have indeed been impacted by this handful of people who took important things from me when I couldn’t defend myself but has also given me and incredible amount of character, empathy and resilience. I would have preferred to keep all of my original parts but no one gets out alive with everything they came in with this is a fact of living.

I hope that I can try if even in the smallest way to embrace life the way this young woman has and attempt to find joy where I can and most importantly focus not on what I am missing but the person I have become irregardless of my misfortunes.

[daddysfangirls-marvel]

not a revenge plot  (request)

Pairing: Loki x Stark daughter! reader

Warning: fluff, language,

Summary: Tony Stark had a 12-year-old daughter that no one knows about during the battle of New York she goes missing. She ends up on a different planet and meets Loki. Eventually, she finds Thor, Bruce, and Valkyrie too. And they return to earth to find a very emotional Tony.

Note: *SPOILER ALERT* if you haven’t seen Thor: Ragnarok then you probably shouldn’t read this major spoiler. sorry if it’s bad 

Years later she still remembered the day it happened. She was at a little baker with her new nanny when the sky opened up and another universe rained down on them she remember watch her nanny’s back as she ran away leaving her 12 year old self to her own defense. Sher remembered the bright lights that took her in the midst of chaos she thought she had died but she was very much alive just not on earth. It had been years since she had last been earth or seen any friends  or family.

She had made herself very comfortable and well known as (y/n) Stark the Grandmaster best and top girl. Sure, in reality, she was a slave but she was treated well and was allowed more freedoms than anyone else. She had no reason to complain. Until Today.

"c'mon it'll be fine. Just give him a little something-something. Show him a little skin it'll all be fine" The Grandmaster was trying to convince (y/n) to entertain his new Asgardian friend. He had never asked her this before it was always just the Grandmaster she danced for him, serve him, talking to him, giving him advice, any and everything for him. except pleasure him she had never done that and always managed to avoid it. And keep her virginity intact.

"I don't want to and I won't" The Grandmaster had had enough of her little attitude 

"you know what it's not up to you. And you will do as I say. I've been nothing but nice to you given you everything. Now it's time you pay me back" he snapped his fingers and a group of women came running in  " fix her up for our guess. He's a king so you've got to look your best". And her best she did.

(Y/n) breath hitched in her throat when she saw him, Loki. She'd remember that face anywhere he was the reason for her being here. If it wasn't for him she'd be home with her father working on a car or something Instead here she stood in front of him.

"she's never been used before," the Grandmaster said trying to please him. Loki circled her slowly running his hands over her shoulder and neck. "I like," he said running a hand through her (h/l) (h/c) hair. "good, good," the grandmaster said clapping his hands and started to Leave "so I guess I'll leave you two it. Have fun".

(Y/n) wore a short white dress with a front zipper underneath was a pink pantie set that the Grandmaster picked himself. (y/n) prayed that he wouldn't see it, that no one would see it. 

"how did you get here?" Loki asked as he circled her slowly taking in every inch of her but wanting more.

"Earth, I ended up here after the attack on New York" she answered truthfully having no reason to lie.

"really ... What's your name?" he hands wandered to the zipper at the front of her dress slowly pulling it now as if savoring the reveal as if she was fine wine.

"(Y/n) Stark" his hand stopped "what did you say?"

"(Y/n)... (y/n) Stark" he took a step back

"any relation to Tony Stark" 

"My father, he's my father". Loki back away and took a seat on the bed her she was the daughter of his many enemies, of one of the men and woman who ruined his plan for world domination. Here stood Tony Stark's daughter to do as he pleased.  But for some reason, he didn't feel like doing anything I mean he wasn't going to do anything in the first place just make her undress and lay on the bed as he went off to look for Thor just make her uncomfortable and embarrassed. Now for some strange reason, that idea wasn't so funny anymore. Loki waved her over to the bed with him she stood in front of him. "are you scared of me?" he asked

"no sir, what reason would I have to be scared of you" it was the truth she was not scared of Loki but was terrified of what he'd do or what he'd take. Loki rolled his eyes at her answers she was obviously lying.

“I am the god of lies, you know that right?”

“yes, you are the god of lies brother of Thor the god of thunder”

“ugh do not mention my brother, that imbecile” Loki walked back and flopped on the bed “that idiot, it’s like he gets stupider every time I see him” 

“you’re right he doesn’t seem to be very smart but very emotional” (y/n) agreed which shocked Loki

“you don’t like Thor, you’ve meet Thor?” 

“personally no I haven’t meet him but I read his file and saw a lot a footages before the New York attack. He looked like an emotional idiot of film ”Loki laughed at this she hadn’t even meet him yet but she already knew he was an idiot. He knew he was going to like this girl even if she was Stark’s kid.

-

Loki continued to see (y/n) after that day, coming and going as he could. Forgetting about the past their relationship began to blossom. They learned more about each other every time they meet. 

Loki loved green, fine wine, tea, and a good book. (y/n) love tea, music, building things, and a good cuddle. Loki learned that every day (y/n)’s favorite color would change every day. And (y/n) learn Loki actually admired some human cultures. Together the two fit perfectly, unfortunately, others didn’t see it like that.

Loki had fallen from the sky, literally. He explained that his brother had returned to Asgard and discovered his secret they had gone to earth to see their father who died and unleashed Hela.

Loki had fallen from the sky, literally. He explained that his brother had returned to Asgard and discovered his secret they had gone to earth to see their father who died and unleashed Hela their evil sister. She was off destroying Asgard and Loki didn't know what to do, so he drank. The two sat surrounded by people as they laughed and drank.

While Loki was drinking the pain away, much like her alcoholic father,(y/n) was thinking of a way to save Asgard based on the information he gave her. So far she had nothing.

"Loki, Loki,...Loki" (y/n) looked up seeing the great God of Thunder strapped to a chair both Loki and (y/n) excused themselves. Thor demanded his brother get him out  Loki explained he couldn't.

"who are you?" Thor finally noticed (y/n) 

"oh. (y/n) Stark"

"Stark?"

"yes. daughter of Tony Stark, How's my old man doing?" (y/n) laughed

"I didn't know Stark had a daughter. You're with Stark's daughter. Oh my- you're with Stark's daughter. If this is some revenge plot it ends now"

"it's not a revenge plot" Loki turned to (y/n) "I promise this is not a revenge. I love you. And you need to mind your own business".

"why are we whispering" all three of them jumped when the Grandmaster spoke, he appeared to be DJing, " you know this Lord of Thunder" Loki shook his head no while (y/n) nodded yes

"he's my brother, " Thor said

"adopted" Loki corrected

"and better looking" (y/n) mumbled under her breath only Loki heard her.

"is he any kind of a fighter?"

"take this off my neck and I'll show you"

"Look, look he's threatening me. Here's the deal you want to get back to ass-guard the place assberg."

"Asgard" Thor corrected

"any contender who defeats my champion their freedom they shall have"

"fine then point me in the direction of whose ass I have to kick" Grandmaster than waved his wand and Thor was off "Loki" he screamed as he left.

"should we be worried" (y/n) asked as she and Loki watch Thor go away

"No... maybe...yes most definitely".

In hindsight (y/n) probably should have warned Loki about the Grandmaster's Champion but ... it slipped her mind. Loki clung to her hand as the fight went on Thor had unfortunately pointed out Loki's presences to the Hulk which didn't help the God. But watching Thor get slammed sure did brighten his mood. After the battle, Thor was dragged off to Hulk's room and (y/n) and Loki returned to their room.

"ugh ... this is just too much. Everywhere I go there's someone is out to get me ... and you're not paying attention to me." Loki flopped down on the bed next to (y/n)

"I'm totally listening" (y/n) said looking off in the distance

"no, you're not"

"you're right I'm not." she confessed " I'm thinking about Asgard and how you can save it "

"Thor has probably already come up with a terrible plan that he'll drag me into. God, I've got to help the idiot, don't I?"

“you better” Loki stood up and stretched as he got off the bed he kissed her cheek "I'll be right back, Darling"

"better"

After a few hours, Loki had no returned she decided to go looking for him and found him chained up in Valkyrie's room. Valkyrie and (y/n) were both good friends and enjoyed the company of Hulk together it was a very adorable and green 2 years. "why is he chained up?" (y/n) asked she wasn't concerned and went straight to the booze" he tried to kill me" Valkyrie as she threw an empty bottle at Loki, luckily missed.

"Hey, do I know you," Bruce asked pointing at (y/n) " I think I know you" "you don't but your green friend does. You're Doctor Bruce Banner you did research on gamma rays back on earth you're smart." (y/n) answered,

"oh ....okay, thanks?" He was a bit confused but like most of everything else today he went with it.

"so is this the 'Loki's tried to kill me squad' " (y/n) said sarcastically 

"yes, want to join," Valkyrie said throwing another bottle 

"sure, what's the plan" 

It was a very terrible plan that left everyone bruised and beaten and Asgard in the dust, literally it was destroyed and left in flames. But the Asgardian people were safe so ....that was good but they didn't have anywhere to go. Thor being the new king decided that earth was the best place to go but it would be best to give everyone heads before he got there. It was decided that (y/n) and Bruce would go to earth to give the heads up but (y/n) wasn't leaving without Loki.

"so..." Loki stood in between his brother and his lover as they both stood their ground against each other "...what do we do now?" Loki asked trying to be funny and lighten up the mood didn't work. 

"We go to earth"

"no, he can't"

"That's not your decision therefore he is going to earth."

"no"

"yes"

"no"

"yes

"no"

"he is going whether you say so or not you can't stop me"

"he is a fugitive on earth and will be arrested and possibly killed if they find him on earth. It's too risky" Thor said actually showing some concern and worried rather than anger and lighting. Thor was really concerned about his brother well being and didn't want anything to happen to him Loki was a changed man, sort of, but Thor knew nobody on earth would see that.

"I won't let anything happen to him okay. If anyone wants your brother they'll have to get through me ... and Burce... most Bruce."

"what!?"

"Nothing bad is going to happen to him. If I feel like something bad is happening and you're right I'll send him back, okay?" 

"promise?"

"I swear on the king of Asgard and that's you". The truth was they both cared about Loki and knew he was a sort of changed man they both loved him and he loved the both of them even if he wouldn't say it out loud.

Hesitantly handing them the tesseract Thor chuckled " better Contacted Dr. Strange when you get there unless you want for him disappear to a different universe"   (y/n) kissed his cheek.  All three of them placed their hands on the Tesseract and with a smile (y/n) screamed "TO INFINITY AND BEYOND".

With a thump, the three roughly landed in a field of grass in the middle of nowhere. "Earth oh sweet earth I've missed you" Bruce kissed the ground and pulled up the grass. He really missed earth after 2 years he was really happy to be back on earth.

Getting up the three began to walk to what they thought was civilization before a spinning circle appeared taking the three "not again" Loki huffed as the three went through the circle and appeared in a library. There were ancient artifacts around the room along with books it was so beautiful everything was old and one of a kind. (y/n) couldn't help but take a book off the shelve "please don't touch anything" (y/n) jumped with a startle when a man came from behind her and took the book from her hands. "you said you wouldn't come back but here you are back on earth. What is it now" Dr. Strange said as he waved his hand and everyone was now sitting on couches. "I know who he is, Dr. Banner, but who are you?"

"Um, I'm (y/n) Stark daughter of Tony Stark. I've sort of been on an alien planet since the new york attack" (y/n) introduced herself 

"the New York attack was 6 years" 

"so that means I'm 17 or 18, who knows"

"why is he here," Dr. Strange asked again 

"Asgard was destroyed and the Asgardian people have nowhere to go so we've come to earth to get everyone a heads up  Asgard is coming here. Also, there is a deranged woman on the lose. So yeah" There was an awkward silence Strange rubbed his forehead "my god"

Strange let them after putting a binding and blocking spell on Loki and (y/n), he couldn't use his powers and couldn't leave (y/n) side which he didn't mind. He then teleported them to the Avengers New Compound they stood on the front grass and not even a minute later they were surrounded by guns and threw their hands up "we come in peace"  (y/n) said as an iron man Suit landed in front of them. 

" aren't you suppose to be dead," Tony said not noticing the other two 

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID" Bruce screamed 

"Bruce? Bruce where have you been pal we looked everywhere for you"

"Oh I was on an alien planet as Hulk for 2 years fighting aliens in competition... yeah" 

Tony instructed the guards to cuff Loki and taking him inside as he talked to Bruce he had yet to notice (y/n). Tony was talking really face about everything Bruce had missed and what he wanted to show him "listen, listen, listen, Tony, I've - I've ... TONY ... I didn't know you had a daughter?"  Tony stopped talking immediately "how'd you know about her" Bruce looked over Tony's shoulder to see (y/n) just standing there. 

"(y/n)? (y/n), (Y/N)" he ran up and took her in his arms " my baby girl oh my baby girl where have you been I looked everywhere for you but I couldn't find you and that bitch on a nanny left and I- I thought - I thought oh god" Tony Cried on her shoulder 

"it's okay daddy I'm back and I'm okay it's all okay. Hey, how are you and Pepper doing?" 

wiping his eyes Tony says " Fiancé yeah she said yes"

"Oh yay, Oh after this we all could do a double date thing and that would be so cute and you tow can tell me how it happened and-"

"double date? you have a boyfriend, who?"

"um his name starts with an L  and you don't like him"  you could see all the emotion go through his face sadness, anger, shock, betrayal " that's right LOKI. He's a sweet guy you should get to know him"

"Loki as in the guy that destroyed Manhattan " Tony turned to Bruce to see if she was joking Bruce just shrugged his shoulders and waved his hands around he didn't know what to say so far he was just going with everything "what the fuck what the actual fuck"

"I'm going to go see Loki now" (y/n) skipped off down the hall asking people where the cells were.

In his office, Tony sat in front of his computers with Bruce and Vision by his side as he watched (y/n) embrace Loki in his cell and Kiss him "WHAT THE FUCK"

Bruce scratched his head awkwardly "I guess this isn't the best time to mention that Thor is bringing the people of Asgard to earth because his father died and then his older sister destroyed Asgard. so ..yeah"

"WHAT THE FUCK"

Request tag and or stories up to anything (within reason)

@beautiful-tiger-loves-it  @sasukexme15 @sexysamsungl @totallyweirdsam @geeksareunique @lovely-lollipops-blog @iamwarrenspeace

[incarcerationincarnate-blog]

Bio

(Taken from here.)

Given name: Torque

Canon: The Suffering ‘Prison is Hell’/'Ties that bind’

Version: Ties that Bind || Neutral morality

Canon Point: Post game

Age:  34

Gender: Male

History:

[Note: This back story is not validated by the game or by the creators, and is my interpretation given what information is available.]

Torque’s past is a far from a pleasant one– at the tender age of three he was left in the administrative care of the Garvey’s childrens home, an institution that was just the start of Torque’s problems, and a place he would like to pretend didn’t exist, let alone admit he was raised there.

The orphanage was far from a safe haven, a smouldering pit of abuse situated in-between desolate buildings and dilapidated crack dens, inside of Garvey’s was as dangerous as the outside of it. It was far from a sanctuary, regardless of age, colour or condition and, while some of the staff were genuinely concerned for the children’s welfare, there were others that seemed to find nothing as pleasurable in their young denizen’s misery and/or submission. While Torque was one of the luckier children, he still found himself on the wrong side of his carers intentions more often than not, most due to his apparent autism, and his severe dislike of talking and selective mutism… Something that was taken advantage of more than once in his childhood.

At fifteen he left the care of Garvey, branded a bully by the other children and a problem child by the staff, his first (and then only remaining) alter Blackmore in tow and began working in Baltimore docks for under minimum wage. Due to his mature appearance and disassociative behaviors, it wasn’t long before he got caught up in both alcohol and drug addictions, the former being the catalyst that ended up with him meeting Miles, a loud, overly ambitious kid whose old man who owned a backwater bar he frequented close to Torques shitty little bedsit. They were definitely an odd pairing, but they remained good friends up until Miles’ death decades later.

It was also where he met Carmen, and 18 year old barmaid who worked for Miles’ father for a short time, and who worked as an assistant secretary for a big firm Torque never got the name of. Either way, there was an obvious attraction, and they ended up marrying quickly due to Carmen getting pregnant in a few wild and wavering weeks that Blackmore managed to force himself out for.    

Personality:

Torque’s personality is outwardly very stoic, any emotion that crosses his face is fleeting, and only the more important things earn words from him. While this gives him an air of aloofness or even (at times) arrogant indifference, there is a considerate human being under the thick carapace and to those that he grows close enough to he shows it quite openly, and at times, when the situation forces his hand. He’s not all spiky shell and no gooey inside however, and can and will show compassion to people who ask or (obviously) need it, even towards those he cares little for, and sometime even those he openly hates.

Most of his problems stem from his lack of speech, as Torque has spent most of his life suffering from Selective Mutism, which came on from an early age after suffering in an abusive environment. His DID also stemmed from his bad treatment at Garvey and, while his personalities grew, his voice dwindled- suppressed now not only by his fear and anxiety from physical threats, but also mental ones as well.

Torque knows he’s a hard man to get on with, and even harder to enjoy his company, so he doesn’t go out of his way to make friends. Most people that engage in his company are people that have heard of him through reputation; most of these people are flaky at best, only out for their own skins or for a paycheque (men who work for Blackmore, prisoners and officers of Carnate trying to survive etc.) and most people Torque would benefit from having relationships with tend to keep their distance due his appearance, his company and his notoriety. While Torque isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, that fact hasn’t gone unnoticed and has left him with a heavy 'fairweather friend’ attitude.

If you can convince him the friendship is authentic however he’s loyal, caring and willing to do anything for you. It takes some doing though.

Weaknesses:

Can'tdeal.jpg- He can’t do it. He just can’t do it, regardless of what, who or where in his life it happens, dealing with things is a big no-no. From being imprisoned to his relationship with his on-off wife, if Torque could man up to half the things in his life, then half the things in his life wouldn’t have happened, or, at least, would have been far less extreme when they did. He has the irritating habit of taking all his aggression and stress, bundling it into the tightest ball of RAEG he can manage, and then shoving into the darkest corner of his mind as he can find. If a good beating can’t solve the problem, then he’s at a loss, which leads to fretting and more anger.  

All of the Rage!- His temper is his greatest strength, but it’s also his most obvious weakness. Torque’s anger stems from a variety of places and his rage can become so uncontrollable he’s siphoned it off into it’s own personality, real enough to him to the point of hallucination and murder. At his angriest his third personality comes into play, known simply as 'The creature’ in which Torque has little to no inhibitions, to the point of ripping men (and monster) apart with his bare hands. While he can calm his anger usually, as in the case of his wife, the calm doesn’t come quickly enough.

Meathead- Torque isn’t the brightest crayon in the box, that much is obvious. However he probably could beat every other crayon in that box into shades solely of black and blue. His strength, while sometimes being beneficial (like when he was prison for example), is more more often than not the cause of more problems (Like… what got him sent to prison in the first place). When Torque realises manslaughter and GBH aren’t the best solutions for everything, his world will be a better place. Until then though, this facet of his personality will always be something of a problem.

S.M.- When you know the signs, it’s quite obvious that Torque suffers from selective mutism; his immense failure when it comes to dealing with his problems (which in itself is then a problem, starting the vicious cycle), his lack of expression and usually withdrawn, surly nature are all tell-tale signs… They are also tell-tale signs of an antisocial asshole, and Torque does very little in dispelling that idea. His lack of speech, especially around people he doesn’t know and high stress situations, does little to make him seem like much of a useful commodity. While his actions exhibit his strengths far better than his words ever could, actually being able to speak on some occasions would make things an awful lot easier, and definitely alot safer.

Loop-de-looping over the Cuckoo’s nest- While he may not be very vocal externally, internally there is a very vivid contrast; his brain addled with hallucinations, both in forms auditory and visual. It’s understandable that, withscenes and conversations that can be only deemed impossible (both real and hallucination) playing out in front of him, that he may just be a tad insane in the membrane’. He’s never spoken of his problems, not to his wife, to his friendsand definitely not to an qualified psychiatrist, preferring to stick his head in the sand and let the problems fester. While the good (and rather insane himself) Doctor Killjoy tried to aid Torque, it did little to solve the problem, instead managing to rub salt in the proverbial wound and just bring back all those raw, festered memories before prancing off to do something far more interesting… Like building a reanimator-esque ray gun.

Addict- Torque had something of a drug addiction in his teenage years, both in a bid to pick himself up from the lows of the hand life had dealt him and also in a bid to drive away what was most likely the onset of depression. Though he pulled himself out of the pit of heavy drug addiction, torque still suffers with it, shifting his tastes to alcohol and over-the-counter-medication instead. His addictions are very much a double edged sword- on one hand his tolerance to toxins has helped him survive, push forcefully administered shots of Sodium thiopental (one of the drugs administered in lethal injections) and later heroin once he re-enters Baltimore with surprisingly little effect. In the same backhanded blow his tolerance forces him to over-indulge to feel any sort of drug-induced effects, be it narcotics, depressants or even just plain old pain relief. This makes him all but useless for a time afterwards (unless his adrenaline is peaked) as his body combats succumbing to overdose. It does however make him a great meat-shield.

Mundane Strengths/Abilities:

Tank&Spank- Torque, in all senses of the term, is a tank; he can (and will) usually run roughshod through whatever he is pointed at, and usually with great success. Capable of pulling apart monsters double his size and pulling down walls under the right duress, Torque makes for a good ice breaker, and an even better diversion and best (or worst) of all, he damn well knows it. He’s very likely to put his strong build and high tolerances to use, engaging incoming threats, especially when he’s accompanying others.

You’re a good man T- Torque, despite his impulses and demeanor, isn’t a monster- he feels emotions and has similar logic to any ordinary person, he just finds it overly difficult to voice that, both literally and metaphorically. When someone gains his trust however, he can and will do whatever it takes to protect them- hell, sometimes those that haven’t earnt that still get taken under his wing if the situation is overly dire. While he’ll just about speak with those he respects he’s not going to leave others in the lurch, especially if he knows information; from notes, to wall scrawling, Torque usually finds a way to get his point across, and he’s not afraid to play courier for others either, if the need ever presents itself.

Well-versed in the wierd- Since he was little, Torque has been immersed in crazy, even if that was the result of his own fractured psyche. He’s seen visions since he was little, and they seen to have done little but get worse as time’s gone on. Thanks to the fact that, regardless of whether they’re real or not, most if not all the oddities he now sees are out to kill him he’s also gotten very used to to dealing with them too, either in aiding them, outrunning them, out-gunning them, or just letting them do what they want before deciding he wasn’t actually worth the bother. He’s also developed quite attuned senses when it come to certain things, sounds especially (due to many of the creatures he encounters either sounding their appearances or  their attacks).

Three for the price of one- Torques mental fluctuations, even though he doesn’t know it, can be used if others are able to learn his triggers, or the right buttons get pushed incidentally.

Sensitivity/Magical Ability: Unsure on this one, but happy to go with player’s decision on this one; He has the ability to see and fight the monsters from his own world, and it’s hinted that he can see, interact and fight against the ghosts he faces (Horace, Hermes and Dr. Killjoy) However, the boss battles in-game usually have you do this without actually approaching them per sé, so his actual resiliance to ghost attacks is questionable, especially since he can be hurt (and killed if you don’t get the idea of the boss battles) easily enough.

The canon hints that he’s more intune with the paranormal than most, the diary’s of Jordon and Clem both questioning whether Torque is actually something of a conduit for the malefactors that plague him, especially Clem after seeing the malefactor known as 'Disciple of Evil’ (at least in the Spanish Version) in which the creature has 'What appears to be a miniature version of Torque can be seen dangling from its body via an umbilicus of sorts…’. Another character, Ranse Truman, also apparently shares Torque’s gift, so it’s likely to be something more than something Blackmore just pulled out of his ass and fed to who needed to think it. However, I am more than willing to let the mods call it how they see it.  

[welshjule]

Doyawannarootorwhat?

January 1982

 It was snowing the day my family left Cardiff for a new life in Australia.

I was eighteen, living with my mum, dad and two younger sisters and none of us knew what we were doing!

We had never even been on a plane before and the furthest we had ever traveled was  Pontins in Prestatyn.

My dad’s brother and his family had emigrated to Perth and my parents had asked my sisters and myself if we wanted to go and live there. It all sounded really exciting at the time and we had travelled to Australia House in London about a year before and passed the interview.

But now, we were having second thoughts because the three of us had steady boyfriends and we had sworn undying love and absolute faithfulness to them, like only teenagers can. So, it was a very dramatic departure, with our ‘soulmates’ shivering in the street as we drove off.

Foreigner was playing ‘Waiting for a Girl Like You ‘on the car radio and the back seat was filled with brokenhearted sobbing as the three of us tried to out-do one another in our pain and suffering.  We only got about five minutes up the road before my father turned around from the front seat and yelled:

“If you think I’m listening to this sh*t all the way to Heathrow, you can think again. If you don’t pack it in, we’re not stopping at the services.’’

We soon shut up. We loved the services.

All kids loved the motorway services. They weren’t all about petrol. There was an air of excitement, as everybody escaped from the family car and did their own thing for half an hour. The video arcades were filled with flashing lights and loud music and they were a magnet for teenagers, who lined up to play Space Invaders and drive pretending cars at 500 miles per hour.

That didn’t interest me.

I went straight into WH Smith’s and bought my two favorite magazines, ‘Jackie’ and ‘Blue Jeans’ and sat down to a breakfast of sausage, beans and chips. I was soon lost in the ‘problem pages’ and an article on smokey eye make-up tips.

Then, we were back on the road.

In 1982, flying on a jumbo jet was a really big deal. It was glamorous and exciting and people dressed up for the adventure.

It all appealed to my inner diva and I was channeling Debbie Harry, who was my idea of cool.  

So a few hours later, with my ash highlights, Adam Ant pirate shirt and a sexy Jackie Collins novel in my handbag, I nabbed a window seat on the massive plane. Pressing the button on my seat, I ordered a Bloody Mary, put on my complimentary airline socks and lit up a fag.

There was absolutely no sense of safety in the air back then; The smoking seats were at the rear of the plane but the smoke just wafted over everybody in a thick smog. The cabin crew dished out as much free alcohol as a passenger could drink, everybody had a pocket full of lighters and combined with my mother’s duty-free Opium perfume the entire place was a powder keg.

I f*cking loved the Eighties!

But most worrying was that I was invited up to the to meet the pervert pilot three times in the first two hours. Mum and Dad were completely oblivious to this man wanting me all up in his cockpit but this geezer had no chance.

He’s in charge of gravity for God’s Sake!

Why would I interrupt the deviant responsible for keeping hundreds of people 30,000 feet up in the sky? As far as I was concerned, he didn’t need any distractions. You’ve got one job. Concentrate!

Anyway, the glamour soon wore off.

The feature film was ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ but I couldn’t tell you anything about it. With one screen up at the front of the plane, Harrison Ford was the size of a Lego block and the earplugs kept jumping out of my ears. Soon there were kids screaming, spines contorting and full-on fights over the precious arm-rests.

There were no straight-through flights then and for some reason, our journey seemed to involve changing planes at every Middle Eastern airport on our way to Australia, and thirty- eight years ago those places were intimidating. Security guards and police patrolled everywhere carrying guns and scaring the crap out of all the travelers with their blank glares.

Trying to find any kind of airport staff who could speak English was like hunting for a unicorn!

Hot, tired passengers walked around in a confused, sleep-deprived daze and we were all lugging huge suitcases (with no wheels), winter coats, overnight bags and duty-free booze. Everybody was on edge and scared they would miss their connecting flight which was a real possibility.

Walking into my first public toilet in these here parts was a real culture shock I could have done without because there were no toilets in the toilet!

I opened one door after another until it dawned on me that the hole in the floor was for squatting over. The place smelled like a sewer from the dark ages and my aching bladder dried up like a prawn cracker as I held my nose and made for the exit.

‘’You’ve got to go Ju,” my Mum warned, “We’re going to be here for hours, just hold your breath.”

“Mother, I am eighteen not ten,’’ I replied, ‘if I tried to squat on that putrid, wet floor and fell in that shit, I’d grab a gun off one of those guards and blow my brains out!”

“Oh, stop being so dramatic,” she sighed, spotting a little old lady sitting behind a wooden table counting change.

“Do you think she works here?” my Mum whispered,

“Oh my God, of course she works here, who would willingly sit in this cesspit. “

I was young and rude and had no regard for a woman who was forced to do this disgusting job day after day.

“Mum, I can’t stay here another second. I’m literally going to catch some shit-borne plague virus.’’

I ran for the exit and as the door closed behind me, I heard Mum asking for some toilet paper. I didn’t rate her chances because in those days toilet paper was a bit of a novelty and travelers caught short were pretty much up shit creek!!

Eventually, after missing a connecting flight and spending the night in Abu Dhabi, we arrived in Perth, Western Australia and were picked up at the airport by my dad’s brother and his family.

It was the middle of summer and as we walked outside to the carpark, the heat hit us like a punch and we stopped dead. We couldn’t catch our breath and I could feel my nostril hair burning!

‘’Bloody hell Tommy, how do people live and work in this?’’ asked my sweating father who was struggling with a suitcase the size of a small car. ‘It’s like being cooked.’

My aunty and uncle laughed and told us that it was about forty-two degrees. But apparently, we would get used to it.

Living with our relatives, the heat was no hardship. Their gorgeous house had air-conditioning and was as cold as a meat freezer.

Everything had a new, exciting, holiday feel and we played ‘It’s a Knockout’ for hours with our cousins in the swimming pool while our uncle barbecued steaks the size of hubcaps.

Perth is a beautiful city and in 1982 it had a very laid-back vibe. There was a strong American influence and we loved going to milk bars and drinking milkshakes from giant metal beakers. Sales assistants smiled and told us to ‘have a nice day’ and there were palm trees growing on the side of the road.

The first time I went to a drive-in movie I felt just like Sandy from the film ‘Grease.’ Waitresses on roller skates wore cute uniforms and carried trays of French fries and hamburgers. There were groups of teenagers everywhere, smoking cigarettes and sharing sneaky bottles of Jim Beam.

The movie playing was American Gigalo, but nobody was interested in Richard Gere.

Instead of cars, most boys and girls were making out in ‘shaggin’ wagons.’

These were small panel vans that were basically a bedroom on wheels. They first became popular with surfers because there was plenty of room for a group of mates with their surfboards to travel to the best beaches.

Now, horny boys all over Australia worked their butts off for one of these prized ‘sin bins’ and would pimp them out with shag pile carpet, surround sound speakers and strobe lighting. Add a mattress, a bong and an esky full of beer and it was a guaranteed shag pad.

The rule was ’If it’s rocking don’t come knocking,’ so kids waited their turn to make great memories or more often, drunken mistakes.

I thought it was a brilliant idea. A million times better than trying to mate in a sedan in the middle of winter.

Almost all the boys had a mullet haircut, which was short on the top and long at the back (think Billy Ray Cyrus) and the girls had curly, spiral but mostly frizzy home perms. The Aussie boys described their mullets as ‘business at the front and party at the back’ and they could definitely party!

The novelty of home pizza deliveries, bronzed lifeguards and breath-taking beaches made life blissful.

Had we landed in paradise?

Was this place absolutely perfect?                                                                                

Not quite, as I was about to find out.                                                                                                                

The first time my sister and I went into the city on a Friday night it was like being transported to Las Vegas. We were with a young aussie bloke called Brian who worked with our auntie and he was really excited to show us his town.

Brian was more Australian than Dame Edna and we didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. He said things like ‘crook’ and ‘mongrel’ and ‘fair dinkum’ and sounded like a seventy-year-old sheep shearer.

“Youse two are good looking Sheila’s, so if you want to crack on, go for your life” he told us.

Walking along Hay Street, the warm, balmy breeze gave the place a tropical feel and the lights from the restaurants and clubs added to the excitement. The air smelled like Chinese food, petrol and every teenager’s sexy dream.

Boys were hanging out of souped up Chevy’s and Toyota Camry’s, doing laps and calling out to all the girls while Jimmy Barnes and ACDC blasted out of their speakers.

Everybody seemed to be young, loud and ready to party and photographers were everywhere, taking pictures of the revelers for the weekend newspapers.

Beautiful bronzed girls walked around in bikinis, heading for nightclub ‘beach parties’ or Miss West Coast beauty competitions.

Pinocchio’s was the most popular place to spend a Friday or Saturday night and it blew our minds. The place was enormous with a huge dancefloor on the ground floor and two bars. Upstairs were more places to drink and dance and the place was packed.

It was all so exciting, The Police were singing ‘Don’t Stand So Close to Me’, and we were looking good.

There were dozens of blokes at the bar and we could see some of them checking us out and grinning at one another. Brian found some people he knew from work so my sister and I went and sat down in a velvet booth. Sipping our Cinzano and lemonades we looked at the dancefloor.

It was wall to wall girls, dancing around their handbags (yes, even here) and absolutely no boys whatsoever. Eventually, with Whitney Huston singing her heart out we hit the dancefloor.

Now, I was used to being wooed by Welsh boys and God love them, they had to have some bottle. If they liked a girl, nine times out of ten she was with a group of friends and the poor bloke would have to risk being ridiculed or rejected by all of them.

But many a boy took a chance and would ask for a dance or if he could buy a girl a drink, because if he asked enough girls, eventually, he might get lucky!

We danced for hours to Joan Jett, Men at Work, Adam and the Ants and Kim Wilde and I felt so happy because I loved Australia and I had just discovered B52 shots which I had been knocking back! Everybody seemed to be laughing and there was the exciting feeling of perhaps meeting someone new.

The disco lights were flashing blue and pink, the music was deafening and we were all choking on the smoke machine. It was bloody brilliant.

But, not one boy came near us

Brian was now sitting down so we went and joined him in the booth.

I had some questions,

‘’Brian, what’s going on?’’

‘’Why are all the boys standing together and ignoring the girls?’’

“Why hasn’t anyone asked us to dance?”

‘’How are people supposed to meet from opposite sides of the room?’’

‘’Is this a gay bar?’’

To be honest, I was a vain little mare.

It was all about me and I was just in a bad mood because nobody had chatted me up all night.

Brian looked at me in complete shock for a few seconds and then burst out laughing,

“Jeeze, who are you and what planet are you from?’’ he choked, ’Nobody cracks on ‘til the end of the night. Give the boys a chance, they’re drinking their grog.”

From what I could see, most of the boys at the bar were absolutely hammered and one dickhead near us had ripped off his shirt and was puffing out a skinny chest. They were all showing off, trying to out-drink one another and shouting at the top of their voices.

At about 1am the DJ started playing ‘Shut Up ya Face’ and that was our cue to leave and go next door for pizza, but before we could stand up, four young guys came over to our table.

‘’G’day ladies, how ya going?” asked the obvious ringleader with a horrible orange mullet.  He sat down next to me, grinning like a maniac and then turned to face Brian.

“Listen mate, I don’t wanna cut your grass or nothin’, so which Sheila’s yours?” he asked.

Brian shook his head, ‘’No worries there mate. They’ve just got here from England and I’m showing them the sites.”

The boy’s eyes lit up and he tried to put his arm around me,

‘’Me and the lads have been watching youse two all night. Right pair or ragers eh?’’

His mates fell about laughing

‘’Robo mate, you’re a fu##ing legend’’ shouted the boy with no shirt.

I doubted that

Robbo stank of beer and sausage rolls and his hair was dripping wet.

‘’Oh my God, stop sweating on me’’ I screamed, moving sideways along the seat.

‘’Hey, don’t spit the dummy” he grinned ‘’ I just wanna get to know ya.’’

“Well don’t come any nearer,’’ I said putting my arm out, ‘’you’re in my personal space.’’

‘’Oh she’s a pommie, ’’ shouted a tubby boy who was standing next to Robbo and seemed to be dressed as a bank manager.

“She’s well up for it. Give her the hard word.’’

Cheeky Bas##rd. I understood that alright!

Glaring up at him, I said,

“For a start off, we are Welsh not English and what are you wearing? I can’t believe the bouncers let you in here. You should be banned for life for having such hideous fashion sense. And by the way, I’m not up for anything, thank you very much.’’

But Robbo wasn’t giving in just yet and he suddenly lurched towards me, and said, ‘’Doyawannarootorwhat?

All I heard was root and what

“What is a rooterwhat?’’ I asked

Robbo threw himself back in the seat and grabbed his crotch and it seemed like everyone in the club was laughing at me.

I was over it.

“Brian, what is he talking about?  What does it mean?’’

The poor boy was starting to look uncomfortable.

“Well, a root means a sh#g, you know, getting laid.’’ he said

It was too much for me and I had to stand up.

Looking down at Robo, I couldn’t believe it.

“So, let me get this straight. You came over here to ask me to have sex with you.”.

“Bloody Oath I did. Nothing wrong with a bit of hide the sausage.” he laughed

“You must be bloody joking. You haven’t had the guts to buy me a drink or ask me to dance but you expect me to go home with you?’’

“Well not home exactly, me oldies wouldn’t like it’’, he said, ‘’but the car is parked in the multi-story on Barrack Street. We could go for it in there’’

‘’Wow, how romantic’’ I said

“Oh, so my lady wants romance, does she?’ A little dancing and some champers? said the bank manager. ‘’Didn’t realize we had Princess Diana in here tonight boys.”

“You’ve got that right,’’ I told him, ‘’I am a lady so you can kiss my arse.’’

“That’s what I’m talking about” shouted Robbo and I noticed he had vomit down the front of his shirt.

‘’We don’t want a formal introduction, just a root.’’

‘’Well I’m not interested’’ I told him, grabbing my handbag off the table.

We walked through the club and as we reached the exit, Robo’s bank manager shouted,

“Hey, Mary Poppins, no hard feelings eh! How do ya fancy a 68 and a half?

I couldn’t resist it

“What’s that?’’ I shouted back

‘’You give me a bl#w job and I’ll owe you one.”

I had to laugh.

That was the night I found out that most Australian blokes are very funny but if you want flowers, compliments and courtship, you’ll be waiting a while!

After all, there is no such thing as perfection.

[songsofacagedbird]

Hello, I’m Katie, this is my sunshine daughter Balo, and you’re watching Disney Channel! Jokes aside though, I’m so excited to bring Balo back and while not much has changed (truly this is nothing more than a continuation where I only omit plots my partner doesn’t want to revive), have a new intro / bio anyway because... I felt like it ok.  I’ll be good and not ramble too ungodly long though so without further ado - another one of my excessively long intro posts:

TWs: Child Abuse / Abuse, Alcoholism (not Balo’s, but her dad’s), Eating Disorders (anorexia nervosa)

Is that BALIAN “BALO” DRISKELL? Wow, they do look a lot like CANDICE SWANEPOEL. I hear SHE is/are a SEVENTEEN year old JUNIOR who originally attended LUXOR Academy. Word is they are a(n) REGULAR student. You should watch out because they can be NAIVE and SENSITIVE, but on the bright side they can also be OPTIMISTIC and BUBBLY. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.  [KATIE, 23, EST, SHE/HERS]

Last Edit: 8/26/2020

★ basics;

Full Name: Balian “Balo” Grace Driskell Age: 17 Birthday: February 7th, 2003 at 08:06 am Sexual Orientation:  Balo really doesn’t label it (although I like to say bisexual, biromanitc to make my own life easier), she always just falls for who she falls for regardless of gender. If you ask her exactly, she’d probably say MOGAI though. Relationship Status: Kinda dating Caitriona but it’s unofficial Occupation: Student Nationality: American

★ classes;

Communications

French

Geometry

U.S. History

Fashion design

Visual Art

Pilates

★ extracurriculars;

Arts Club (Member)

Balo also used to be a Cheerleader (Flyer) and part of the Gymnastics team but due to her leaving / concerns about her health, she was required to step down, much to her devastation.

★ background;

Place of Birth: Rochester, New York Hometown: Saratoga Springs, New York Health Issues: Eating Disorder (Anexoria) Traumas: Abuse (Constant/Ongoing - from her father)

★ physical;

Faceclaim: Candice Swanepoel Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Blonde Height: 5′11” -- not at fc height because I don’t wanna change her height with the new fc Weight: 120 lbs - give or take Tattoos, Birthmarks, Scars, etc: Nothing I find a need to link at the moment.

★  zodiac;

Tropical

Sun: Aquarius Moon: Aries Mercury: Capricorn Venus: Capricorn Mars: Sagittarius Jupiter: Leo Saturn: Gemini Uranus:   Aquarius Neptune: Aquarius Pluto: Sagittarius Lilith: Aries N Node: Gemini

Placidus Orb

I ASC: Pisces II: Aries III: Taurus IV: Gemini V: Cancer VI: Leo VII: Virgo VIII:  Libra IX: Scorpio X MC: Sagittarius XI: Capricorn XII: Aquarius

★ relatives;

Father’s Full Name: Lance Driskell Father’s Status: Alive Father’s Occupation: Restaurant Owner Mother’s Full Name: Cassandra “Cassidy” Driskell Mother’s Status: Alive Mother’s Occupation: Waitress at a local diner (not Lance’s place) Siblings: 1 older sister and 2 older brothers

Driskell Children Oldest to Youngest:

Ivan Marsden (22, attending school in England)

Grace Driskell (19, in California for school)

Zander Driskell (LINK TO HIS INTRO)

Balo Driskell

Here is a link to the Driskell family page if you’d like to know more about her family.

★ misc;

Hobbies and Talents: Balo’s a sketch artist and painter who tends to focus on realism, in particular realistic humans and animals. It’s her true passion and I have an inspo section for her sketchbook here! She’s also quite flexible and skilled at gymnastics, part of why it’s bothering her she can’t participate currently because she loves it and she’s good at it - making her removal from the team eat at her even more.

Pinterest Section  // Musings Tag // Playlist

- Balo’s kind of a literal ray of sunshine who believes (almost) everyone is truly good at heart. While she tries to see the best in everyone, no matter what, she truly can’t see it in her father, a fact she feels extremely guilty over it. - She loves art, sketching and painting especially, and she always dreamed of being some sort of artist. While her mother encouraged it every chance she got, her father is truly a different story. - Balo is very easy to manipulate and I encourage it constantly. - She truly just wants to love and befriend everyone, while it’s not really too hard to make her cry, usually you’ll see Balo running around with a smile trying to brighten everyone’s day. This is an issue because she’ll put everyone around her before herself every time, your happiness is a priority before hers. Again, making her easy to manipulate. (So I welcome manipulating Balo and love it when it occurs, please feel free to do so at any point) - Her best friend / favorite person in the entire world at this point is Logan Keller, mention him only if you really wanna see this girl light up like a 4th of July fireworks show. (They’re still in touch, for those of you who remember him from when Jia was playing him here!) - Balo recently got out of extensive inpatient for her eating disorder so while she’s doing a lot better, she’s really doesn’t want it to be the main topic of conversation either. She's okay and back at Luxor and she feels that’s the most important thing at the end of the day.

★ bio; TWs: Child Abuse / Abuse, Alcoholism, Eating Disorders (anoxeria, weight loss, and complications from both)

“'Cause I know that nothing good comes easy, if it did, I wouldn't be me.”

If there was one quote that fit Balo Driskell’s life to a t, that would be it. Nothing was truly easy in the Driskell’s home, she was the youngest of three children - an amount that her mother never wanted to have, and would do whatever it took to stay at after this point. Anytime her father walked in after work, the stench of alcohol clung to. She could smell it on her breath every time he yelled, each time he threw things, anytime he hit her. One could have easily convinced the young girl that all families were like this, that everyone covered up bruises and pretended they were much happier than they actually were if it wasn’t for her mother.

Perhaps Casandra Driskell never wanted her children, but she loved them with her entire heart. She’d sneak her children money, things they weren’t allowed to have - guitars, paints, canvases, sheet-music, legos, and whatever else her father deemed banning fit at a moment's notice. She wasn’t always around, working a job at the local diner, but when she was she did everything in her power to protect her children. It was never enough, though.

Lance Driskell still hurt his children close to daily, whether it was smashing Grace’s guitar over her head the moment he found it, pulling Balo down the stairs by her hair, or lashing Zander with his belt - there were quite a few times where a Driskell had to go the hospital and the family had to lie through their teeth to keep people from looking too closely at them at their mother’s urging. If it was investigated the three children would be separated, they would lose their mother, or at least that’s what they were told - and none of them wanted that. It became common for one child to intervene for another if they could, Zander especially taking the brunt of the punishments for his sisters.

It was part of loving someone in the Driskell home, trying to keep everyone else safe no matter the cost it had on you.

Her childhood wasn’t all bad, however, there were quite a few silver-linings in the dark cloud called the Driskell home. She had a close friendship with her siblings and her mother, and she has plenty of fond memories with them. Christmas was always peaceful, as her father always took that shift at his restaurant and refused to celebrate the holiday with them - a time where he couldn’t taint the joy inside of the Driskell home. She could paint when her father wouldn’t catch her in the act, something she loved doing (and she still does every chance she gets), and she had Logan. Logan Keller was her next-door neighbor and her best friend. If you saw one of them, the other probably wasn’t too far behind. In many ways, he was her person - someone she felt like she could go to with nearly anything (she could never discuss home with him at this point, of course, but everything else she could and she did). 

And then the Driskells moved away and it was like the world was ripped out from under her feet - leaving her spiraling and looking for some sort of control. Her new friend didn’t help matters much either, constantly encouraging her to “shed the weight” they swore she gained. She soon found this sense of “control” in the form of her eating disorder, careful attempts to keep herself as thin as she could, of restricting her food every chance she could.  It wasn’t healthy, far from it, but it fulfilled the desire to have some semblance of control over her life.

Sending the children to Luxor had been an easy decision for Cassandra the second the children were able to attend, a way to ship them off to safety while not being too far away from home. While it pained her a first to be away from her mother, eventually she began to understand. She was safe while at school, and at the end of the day, that was what mattered the most to her mother, right? It wasn’t hard to get into the flow of life at the school, staying at school and only coming home for the breaks that the school refused to keep students during. It broke her heart when Lance shipped Ivan to England and told him not to come home (a thought that still pains her to this day), after the boy served his use, and it only grew harder when Grace graduated and moved to California. But she was happy at Luxor, in spite of everything.

And in a way, her love for the school only grew after the merge. Now there were twice as many people to befriend and support, and in the process, she realized something she had been missing had been under her nose for a while. Logan was attending school at Luxor too, and all of a sudden, she had her person in her life again. At the time she felt on top of the world, regardless of the circle beginning to stir up issues.

And then, suddenly, she was knocked right back down to the ground.

First Logan was kidnapped and forced to deliver the message, and then he was forced to go home for personal reasons. The support she had so quickly grown used to having was seemingly being ripped out from her yet again. While he was still in touch, continuing to be her rock, her eating disorder only continued to spiral out of control. And no matter how much she tried to pretend she was fine, it was getting to the point there was no way to really do so. Balo was sick, and now everyone could tell. It was concern from her teachers that helped fuel the chain of events that resulted in getting her help, no matter how much she tried to assure everyone she didn’t need inpatient therapy and that doing outpatient would be fine. After several months of inpatient followed by a bout of “readjustment to the real world” time at home, she’s back at Luxor and as sunshine-y as ever.

TLDR / quick important notes bio recap for rereads: - Balo’s home life is far from perfect. Her father, Lance - is an abusive alcoholic, and while her mother tried her best to protect her children - she also covered things up without hesitation. It wasn’t uncommon to see a Driskell in the ER with a lie and people willing to back up the story. - The lack of control in her life is what led to her eating disorder, in hopes of regaining a (false) sense of control. - She’s been attending Luxor since freshman year, although she recently had to leave for a few months to attend extensive inpatient treatment. And now she’s back to her normal sunshine-esc antics, trying to love everyone, feeding all the strays at Luxor, and trying to spread smiles everywhere she goes.

★ wanted connections;

Friendships

Someone to manipulate her, please I beg you

Um, pretty much anything? She likes everyone cause if you do something to hurt her she does mental gymnastics to come to the conclusion you are a good person and it was an unintended side effect so...yeah. Doesn’t mean your muses have to like her though (I have a lot of fun when they don’t actually, so… don’t worry about hurting the sunshine daughter. Okay?)

Anyone who knows her from the gymnastics and/or cheer teams, as she was on the teams through Freshmen & Sophomore years, and until October of her junior year.