#ray should realize he's mew's rebound

[baekhyuns-purple-buttplug]

My message to ray in this episode

[velvetshirtnumber3]

Only Friends Episode 7 & preview for Episode 8

Wow, this was an interesting episode. And the preview... I have some thoughts....

Mew and Ray getting together specifically right now is one of the absolutely worst ideas either of them has had, which is impressive given some of the other things they have done in this show (though I would say Ray driving while intoxicated probably takes the cake because he is endangering not just himself, but other people).

Starting with that fact that Mew is stilling hurting over his relationship with Top. He is attempting to get over him, which makes Ray technically a rebound. And of all the things that have hurt Ray in this show, this will probably be one of the worst. He has been in love with him for years and is finally told maybe they can be together, making him very happy. But when Mew realizes that being with Ray doesn't making healing any easier and/or that he still isn't in love with Ray, he might decide to stop seeing Ray in a romantic context, which is going to do wonders for Ray's mental state (insert sarcasm here). Ray will feel he is being told, once again, that he is not enough, this time meaning not good enough to be loved by Mew.

I feel like Mew should have known better, but Mew is only really thinking about his own hurt right now, and thinks maybe Ray or being with Ray can make him feel better.

Second, Mew and Ray are seen partying in the previews, which with Ray's alcohol issues, isn't a great idea. Mew is allowed to grieve his relationship by partying and drinking, but doing it with Ray who he has to know is an alcoholic is not good. It seems like in the preview that it was Ray bringing Mew to these events, and people thinking Ray is a bad influence. All Ray knows is drinking, so maybe he thinks this is best he can do to help. Ray knows that Mew is upset and trying to get over Top, so he goes along with it because he wants Mew to feel better and either thinks this is a good way or its what Mew wants and Ray doesn't want to get in his way (he wants him to like him back and stopping Mew from doing something might seem like the surest way (to him) to make Mew get upset at him). Mew doesn't seem like much of a partier and combined with his heartbreak, will likely have very little sense of moderation. The problem is both of them need someone around them that will go, "That's enough. It's time to go home now" and neither of them are able to be that person for each other.

Mew has never truly understood Ray's relationship with alcohol, and part of why he drinks. I don't think he knows about Ray's mother cause I remember Ray saying he hasn't really told anybody. That is part of what drives Ray's drinking but the other part is his feelings of being a burden and worthless and his friends have never really made him feel like he isn't. Mew is one of those friends, and while I think he is a much better friend to Ray than the rest of the group, he isn't great. Mew has told Ray a couple times to stop drinking, but that was never going to be enough, and now that Mew is willing to drink and party, he will not be trying to keep Ray from overdoing it (and Mew never seemed to do that much to stop Ray from overdoing it from the beginning). To contrast, Sand knows about Ray's mother. He comes from outside the friend group and understands to an extent how self-deprecating Ray is. And while Sand lets Ray drink with him, he is far more aware about how bad Ray's relationship to it is than Mew. Sand points out to Ray himself that he is addicted to alcohol and Ray brushes it off, saying he isn't. Ray doesn't understand how bad his drinking is because its a crutch for him, so telling him to stop because its bad for him will have no effect. Sand instead tries to always stick around, maybe thinking that at least he can monitor Ray.

Mew and Ray both have their own spirals going on, which means this attempt at a relationship will be a trainwreck for both of them and could ruin their friendship.

Or maybe Mew will fall in love with him, as I don't know what happens. But is it likely? I think not.

[forcebookish]

the way people treat ray on here makes me very uncomfortable and especially the mew vs sand takes. they don't seem to understand that mew has been dealing with this for years and sand only a few months. (and in those few months alone he has already been called a whore, hit and thrown to the ground, used as a rebound, and basically treated as a caretaker/nurse and not as a bf or even a friend). i genuinely hope that sand does something extreme next week (like the theories that he calls the cops on ray) so then maybe we can all stop with the "uwu true love is gonna change ray" takes that bl watchers seem to love so much. and maybe then they will also realize that mew is not a bad friend he is a college kid who is not equipped to deal with things like this but still has always been there for ray and carried his burden for YEARS. (i won't hold my breath on that tho cuz mew is always the villain to them). also sorry i know most of your asks are about topmew but seeing all these posts about ray on here are really getting to me. ty for reading <3

don't be sorry, you said it all, anon! it makes me very uncomfortable too.

you're right! no one is responsible for ray's actions but ray. let's set aside the fact that mew should not be expected to take care of him all the time when he has already gone above and beyond to be a good friend to him (why do they just... ignore the fact that mew saved his life? because he was frustrated on the phone that his drunk friend called him on the phone for the umpteenth time? do they think they'd be like "aw omg i love you too?" after he clearly has done this multiple times just so mew can pick him up? you know, taking advantage of mew's friendship and kindness? once mew heard that ray was crying he fucking came running) and the fact that the jerk has never once been kind or friendly to mew's boyfriend (who the fuck says that he'd like to give a trophy to whoever punched his "best" friend's boyfriend? and for what? because top was kinda bitchy to him after ray started it? that was literally all he had done besides EXISTED).

(side-note: that's the only time i've been truly pissed at mew like why did you let that slide pal.)

(ok another side-note: blah blah bad relationship with dad blah blah neglectful wah wah his dad obviously SHOWS UP when his son is in crisis and BAILS HIM OUT when he SHOULD have gone to jail? mew doesn't have to be ray's emergency contact. not only that but ray's dad cares enough that he wants to put him in rehab, and yet ray blames him for "letting" his mom drink herself to death? OKAY.........)

anyway. went on a tangent there. my point is: why is the way that ray treats sand acceptable? it shouldn't be!

it's really weird how many people claim to love sand but are totally fine with him being treated like trash!!! if that's the kind of dynamic you're interested it, fine, but then why is mew a villain? it's not mew's fault that his friend is so obsessed with him he can't even admit to anyone that he's seeing sand, constantly belittles him and his feelings, and acts like he owes him just because he's a spoiled brat. "we're friends." are they???? ray called sand a whore for a reason, that's obviously how he sees him. someone to waste time with. someone he can pick up and throw away whenever he wants.

i'm looking forward to see what ray's dad asked sand to do for him. ray needs to go to rehab. i don't think that this drama is going to pull that power of love crap, even if sandray are the only characters who aren't based/inspired by real people. i do really hope that sand calls the cops in the next episode, but i guess it could be anyone in the gang. top? 🤔 shady lol

no matter what, cheum said it best:

thanks for coming in and basically echoing all my thoughts, anon!💗