#ratchet's acting side hustle

[pluage-docters-go-brrrrrr]

So I thought of this last night after watching a quick review of the Friday the 13th movies and it has been in my head since. (The video is by the youtuber chalupa. This is in tfp btw.)

So basically on cyberteon, after the war, there's this successful horror movie trilogy and the directors are thinking of making the final part of the series. They want to make the one character that has been watching from the sidelines the whole time. Then one guy gets the idea to get a popular figure to be that character. But the only popular figures at the time are political figures.

So they go to like Bumblebee or Arcee or something and their like "nah, the movie business isn't really my thing." But like they have Ratchet with them for some reason and he's like, "oh wow, being in a movie sure sounds interesting." So like the directors are like sure why not and make some adjustments to this new character to just make them Ratchet. Because Ratchet's smart and would figure the bad guys whole flow very easily.

So like they just have ratchet in here with seasoned actors and like 1/12 of the shit he does is like improvised cus the directors told him to just be himself the whole time. And most of the script was pretty accurate.

I have two scenes floating in my head at this point. So the first is the whole introduction of the new character thing and it's like a whole interview for like a talk show or something and like in the middle of the answer to a question the bad guy walks in and like he's murdered 3 people at this point and ratchet just goes like this:

(Can't draw the back of ratchet's head lol) Two seconds later ratchet just shoots the guy like 10 times.

The second is like the bad guy is thought to be dead because the girl main character stabed him 45 times and they all start walking away but then the bad guy gets up and so they all have to do a climactic turn around. And when they turn around ratchet's just like "fuck this guy" picks up a vase and like smashes it on the guys head. The bad guy falls to the floor and junk and and ratchet casually just does this:

So(off topic) the tf wiki page for tfp ratchet says he's from a small village outside of iacon or something so I'm spawning artistic liberties and saying the village is in vaproex. Thus making him Ratchet of vaporex, and I head cannon he looks more like someone from iacon than from vaporex so everyone just assumes he's from iacon. So when the credits are being made ratchet's all like "oh btw I'm from vaporex" and everyone's like "oh no we put iacon." But ratchet just like changes so it reads "Ratchet of Vaporex as Ratchet of Iacon" instead. They kept it because they were too scared to change it.

I shared this with @shroombat14 already and I thought it would be better to write it down in case I ever want to make a fic or comic about it. I'll probably reblog to add any new ideas to this idea dump. Maybe new visuals as well. 🤷‍♂️

[planetgleebglorb]

I just finished listening to zayn on stationhead for 2 hours and here is a little rundown:

♡said he was only going to be on for a little bit but ended up staying because he started having fun 30 minutes in

♡was doing funny voices, played a sound of a wolf howling

♡called his song windowsill ratchet

♡gave a lot of appreciation speeches

♡ talked about touring quite a lot

♡ said he forgot how much of a banger sweat is

♡played a 1d song and said that he has been reminiscing about 1d lately

♡finally played some icarus falls songs 1 hour in, (I was convinced he wasn't going to because he was only playing songs from NIL and MOM for a long time)

♡talked about how khai changing his life

♡he was doing little riffs though out the whole thing

♡joked about being a dj as a side hustle

♡asked the chat if they think he has a collab with Chris stapleton.

♡said he was holding his mic with his left hand because his right hand hurt too much, someone in chat made a masterbation joke that made zayn laugh.

♡said he would love to collaborate with miley

♡zayn read a chat message that said "get me wet pookster" and zayn acted like that was the greatest thing he has read ever!

[mariacallous]

“I just want to sell titty pictures,” says Allie Eve Knox, a professional dominatrix and fetish performer, exhausted. “I never wanted to be an expert in financial discrimination.”

After starting out in sex work in 2014, Knox, like others in the field, has become something of a financial pariah. The first to ban her were the payment apps—PayPal, Venmo, and CashApp—which prohibit the sale of adult content as policy. But then Knox lost her bank account too. It took a week to recover her money.

Nine years on and 30-plus bans later, Knox is jaded: “I don’t want to have to know how to run money to different places. I don’t want to deal with any of this bullshit.”

An ICU nurse by training, Allie Rae, another US-based sex worker, began posting on OnlyFans when her husband was furloughed. Before long, she was earning far more selling adult content online—close to $500,000 per month—than she was in her regular job. But like Knox, she quickly ran into trouble.

When word of her side hustle spread through the ward, Rae lost her job. But she also found that realtors wouldn’t deal with her, lenders refused her a mortgage, and accountants snubbed her. Rae set up a company through which to manage her income, but no major bank would give her a business account. “Left and right, it’s been a struggle,” she says. “I was very naive—I didn’t understand the magnitude of the discrimination.”

The experience of Knox and Rae is typical of sex workers across the globe, but particularly in the US, where banks and payment processors shy away from the adult industry. The reason is almost never made clear, but sex workers suspect that financial institutions fear reputational damage and liability for the facilitation of money laundering or sex trafficking. Data published in May by the Free Speech Coalition (FSC), a US trade association for the adult industry, suggests two-thirds of sex workers have lost access to either a bank account or financial service, while 40 percent have had an account closed within the past year.

Faced with this predicament, sex workers have gone in search of an alternative means of both storing wealth and accepting payment. In cryptocurrency, for a time, it appeared they had found one: Not only did crypto allow clients to pay discreetly, without supplying personal information, but it gave sex workers a way to bypass the banking system entirely, by taking payments directly to their crypto wallets.

But as regulatory scrutiny of cryptocurrency ratchets up in response to the fallout of the collapse of crypto exchange FTX, sex workers are bumping up against its limitations. They are finding that, in a few important ways, crypto is no more detached from the banking system than the dollar it was built to some day replace.

In the US, full-service sex work (also known as prostitution) is illegal in every state but Nevada, but pornography and online sex work are legal under the First Amendment. Irrespective of this distinction, banking access has been a problem for the entire sex work community since at least the 1960s, says Mike Stabile, director of public affairs at the FSC, and has only become more acute.

The issue was exacerbated a decade ago by a program launched by the Obama administration, under which banks were warned that a collection of industries posed an “elevated risk” of fraud, including pornography. Now known as Operation Chokepoint, the initiative was found by investigators not to have constituted a deliberate attempt to disrupt disfavored businesses, but is nonetheless said to have led banks to sever ties with the adult sector.

In 2018, the Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act (FOSTA) and the Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act (SESTA) followed. The bills were supposed to make it easier to hold to account platforms that allegedly facilitate trafficking, like Backpage.com, which was seized by the FBI. But the online classifieds site—and others, since voluntarily closed—were also popular venues for advertising legal sex services, as well as sharing information about new clients for safety purposes. The bills had the triple effect, then, of clipping sex workers’ income, increasing risk, and making the banks even more squeamish, members of the industry say.

Because the adult industry has historically been fairly small—and the Christian anti-porn lobby has been dogged—its advocates have made little imprint in Washington, DC. But the arrival of platforms like OnlyFans, which grew substantially during the pandemic, has shone a new light on the banking issue. The industry “went from 2,000 people shooting adult content in San Fernando Valley to millions of people,” says Stabile. “Suddenly, there was a far larger number experiencing [the closure of bank accounts and other financial services].”

When banks close the accounts of sex workers, they rarely give a clear justification. In one letter delivered by Wells Fargo to porn actor Alana Evans, president of the Adult Performance Artists Guild (APAG), the bank wrote that the account, opened in the mid-1990s, would be closed as part of “ongoing reviews” related to its responsibility to “manage risks.” The decision, the letter said, was final. Wells Fargo declined to comment.

The personal and social consequences of a lack of access to banking and payments services for sex workers range from the mundane—an inability to use Venmo to split the bill at a restaurant—to the potentially existential: the failure to meet medical fees or rent, say.

It also means they are beholden from a commercial perspective to platforms like OnlyFans and Fansly, which handle payouts but take a sizable chunk of earnings. Because of the deterioration of their own relationships with the banks, these platforms are sometimes unreliable too. (In 2021, OnlyFans announced a ban on sexually explicit content, under pressure from banking partners to clean up, before reversing course five days later.)

In the worst possible cases, though, a lack of access to financial services creates dangerous power dynamics, whereby sex workers must rely on a friend or spouse to act as the custodian of their wealth, exposing them to risk of abuse.

“One of the ways traffickers control victims is by controlling their finances,” says Jessica Van Meir, founder of MintStars, an adult-friendly NFT subscription platform, and a PhD candidate at Harvard specializing in women's informal labor. “The irony is that banks exclude sex workers largely for fear of liability for sex trafficking, but by discriminating against sex workers, they put them at higher risk of sex trafficking.”

Even if the friend or spouse is well-meaning, says Stabile, “you’re handing someone else control of your financial life—and that’s tremendously dangerous.”

The idea that crypto might be used to address these issues was intuitive to sex workers from early on. Provided they could navigate the technical frictions associated with receiving crypto payments and managing a crypto wallet, they could transact with clients directly, bypassing both the hostile banking system and the fees levied by large platforms. The irreversible nature of crypto transactions, meanwhile, protected against another common problem: chargebacks, a process whereby a payment is rescinded after a dispute is raised by a client with their card provider, often without cause and after material has already been received.

Knox began to accept crypto in 2014, only five years after bitcoin, the first cryptocurrency, was created. Whenever she was performing in a live cam room, Knox took to holding up a QR code through which people could tip her in crypto.

Liara Roux, who began working as an escort roughly a decade ago, before later moving into pornography, began to accept crypto payments in 2015 at the request of clients. Initially, she would cash out into dollars immediately, but when SESTA and FOSTA came into effect—after which many adult-friendly advertising sites could no longer accept regular money—she began to pay for ads with crypto too. “By and large, crypto is useful for people that aren’t being taken care of properly by the government,” says Roux. “For sex workers, who aren’t well-served by banks, it becomes a useful option.”

Others were pushed toward crypto by external events. For Rae, it was OnlyFans’ flirtation with a ban on adult content. For some, it was a block imposed by Mastercard and Visa on Pornhub, one of the world’s largest porn websites, in 2020, following a New York Times investigation that found it to be “infested with rape videos.” Data collected by Sex Work CEO, an online portal featuring resources for sex workers, suggests at least a third of sex workers now accept crypto payments.

But for all crypto’s promise as a means of dancing around the banking system, sex workers are finding the limits of its utility: Although sending and receiving crypto payments is relatively simple, converting it into dollars is sometimes not.

The typical method is to transfer crypto to an exchange, where earnings are converted into regular money, which is then withdrawn to a bank account (assuming it hasn’t been closed). But sex workers are sometimes banned from crypto exchanges too, albeit less frequently, leaving them stranded with a form of money they cannot use to pay rent or buy goods.

“You get on an exchange for as long as you can, until they shut your ass down,” says Knox. “You quickly [run out of exchanges], so you sit on a lot of useless money. The whole ‘crypto is permissionless and censorship-resistant’ thing is a bunch of bullshit.” (Knox suspects she has ended up on a blacklist at Plaid, a provider of technology plumbing to large crypto exchanges like Gemini, Kraken, and Robinhood, leading to the repeated bans. Freya Petersen, spokesperson for Plaid, says no such list exists, but that all firms that wish to use its services are subject to a standard risk assessment process, factoring in the industry in which they operate.)

Meanwhile, banks’ increasing unwillingness to work with crypto-related businesses is causing problems for firms trying to make it easier for sex workers to interface with the crypto world.

In February, SpankChain (a company to which Knox is an advisor) was forced to close its SpankPay service, which made it easy for creators to convert crypto into regular money, after payment processing firm Wyre terminated a partnership. The justification was that SpankChain had violated the terms of another company with which Wyre partnered, Checkout.com, which has tried to distance itself from the porn business.

WetSpace, a crypto-centric alternative to OnlyFans established by Rae, searched for months to find a bank willing to provide a business account, but was repeatedly rejected because of its ties to both the adult and crypto industries. “It was a double whammy,” says Rae. “We spoke to every dang bank there is.” Eventually, after appealing directly to the board of one bank, WetSpace managed to secure an account, but months later received a notice suggesting that support may soon be rescinded. The company is “riding on borrowed time,” explains Rae.

Without a banking partner, crypto firms cannot accept dollar deposits in return for services, or manage the conversion of crypto to dollars for clients, or pay their employees and vendors—they cannot function. The viability of the plan to develop a parallel financial system free of intermediaries is dependent, therefore, on a rapidly disintegrating truce with those same intermediaries: the banks and payments firms. For sex workers, as long as crypto cannot be used to pay for goods and services, its usefulness will remain limited, because it can be thwarted at the junction with conventional finance.

The efforts of sex work advocates are better invested, says Stabile, in campaigning for new laws that would make it illegal for banks to discriminate against sex workers on the basis of their profession, than in developing an alternative financial system. “The first step is banking stability,” he says.

There is broad sympathy for businesses facing banking access issues on both sides of the aisle, explains Stabile, who spent time in May meeting with members of the US Congress. The political right is concerned with the de-banking of gun manufacturers and oil companies, and the left with the treatment of cannabis businesses and marginalized workers. Lobbying groups like the FSC hope to capitalize on this accord, a rarity on Capitol Hill, to the benefit of the adult industry, even if legislation specific to the plight of sex workers is “too great a political hill right now.”

The biggest hurdle, explains Stabile, is the “snail’s pace” at which Congress moves. In April, Democratic Senator Jeff Merkley introduced the SAFE Banking Act, which calls for mandatory provision of banking services to legal cannabis businesses. In July, the Fair Access to Banking Act was tabled by Republican Senator Kevin Cramer, with the aim of penalizing banks that refuse to do business with law-abiding citizens. Neither bill has progressed beyond the point of initial introduction.

In the absence of real legislative progress, the adult industry will continue to exist “like a weed,” says Stabile, growing in “the cracks and hostile conditions that other businesses would never survive in, because it has to.” In crypto, sex workers found a temporary means of survival, but one whose billing as a permanent remedy proved to be inaccurate.

“Some sex workers might see crypto as a form of financial liberation,” says Van Meir. “But the majority probably just see it as a necessary evil—one among the few options they have left.”

[pastelgrungewrecker]

“Uncle Jesse”

“She’s always had it.”, said Perceptor nonchalantly as Drift frowned in concern, “That’s why her glasses are so bloody thick, poor thing. I figured she just inherited my terrible eyesight, and acted accordingly.”

“Perce, her pupils are narrowing.”

“We’re all genetic anomalies in this house- that’s what happens after a war that used genetic experimentation.”

Mimi rubbed at her eyes, sighing heavily as she slowly got to her feet and shuffled into the bathroom- where her father was combing a familiar product through his now-white hair.

“S’wrong kiddo?”, he rumbled tiredly, instinctively leaning over to check her pale roots and frown, “C’mere, you need this too.”

“Mm. Head hurts, eyes aren’t being nice to me again.”, she sighed, “Might just shut off the overhead light and just use the candles for a while.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah... Pfffft, all these years and I’ve never NOT had my contacts in. I forgot it wasn’t as obvious when we finally met, and I had glasses.”

She shuffled around in the drawer, pulling out her contacts case and setting it on the counter. He moved away, looking over his shoulder as he started the bathtub tap running to rinse his hair. 

She leaned close to the mirror, on her tiptoes, and used one hand to hold her eyelids open to take out her... contact lenses.

He tilted his head, the water gurgling as it ran. First one came out, then the other, and she blinked as her eyes watered. The contacts didn’t seem very flexible- and seemed wider than ones he’d seen other people using- but what stood out was they had a pattern. Nothing odd, just colored and shaped to look like a normal pupil and iris.

“See?”

He nearly screamed when she looked at him.

Her pupils were narrowed- slightly peaked on the top and bottom like a tomcat’s eyes; and they flickered in the light as the angle changed with her movement.

“I know, it’s weird. But.”

He collected himself quickly, huffing before glancing at the bottle he left open on the counter.

“Yeah, we all have odd traits. Now comb some’a that through your hair Mimi- Your roots are dry and whiting out faster.”

“Uuuuuuuuuuugh but it SMELLS WEIRD-”

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

“She’s always had it.”, said Perceptor nonchalantly as Drift frowned in concern, “That’s why her glasses are so bloody thick, poor thing. I figured she just inherited my terrible eyesight, and acted accordingly.”

“Perce, her pupils are narrowing.”

“We’re all genetic anomalies in this house- that’s what happens after a war that used genetic experimentation.”

“Perce.”

“Drift, what is it that’s really bothering you?”

“.......... Look, there’s uh. There’s something I.... May need to tell the family, okay?”

Perceptor looked suddenly concerned, his natural pout turning into a sharp frown, “....Does this have to do with the... strange warrants you’ve been getting every so often the past few years?”

“....Yeah.”

“Drift. Talk to me.”

“Look, just. Tell everyone there’s a family meeting this weekend, okay?”

Perceptor jolted, blinking rapidly before settling, “...Alright. This isn’t something I’m gooing to want to commit a warcrime against you for, is it?”

“I really fuckin’ hope not.”

“Not helping.”

The days came and went. Whirl was suspicious immediately, in his own way- growling and near-hissing in owlet tones when he’d catch Drift pacing with phone in hand, the case creaking in his grip.

On Saturday morning, there was a heavy knock on the door. Drift stood up, exhaling slowly and meekly as he hustled to the door to tug it open just a crack. Magnus’s voice rumbled through.

“I’m considering this the... final favor.”

“Yeah, yeah. All is forgiven, whatever, just...”, a sigh, “He’s clean, right?”

“Mhm. Been out of facility for almost a year, monthly mandatories as well as surprise tests. He despises it, and is suspicious of you.”

“He’s gonna be a whole lot more than suspicious after this.”

“You know how it is, sponsorship.”

“Yeah, let him out then; he deserves his dignity.”

Cyclonus moved quickly when the sound of a heavy truck door opening sounded from outside and Drift pulled the door open wide. The tallest, and arguably eldest, of the many parents stood protectively in front of the youngest of the brood as Drift turned around.

“...I was never actually Deadlock.”, he said quietly, “...Well, I kind of was, but not often.”

“We know you had a change of heart, hippy-”, began Whirl.

“ACTUALLY, sonofashrike, he jus’ had a terrible messiah complex.”

The family stared, Mimi most of all as they heard That Voice, but Drift’s mouth didn’t move. He took a step to the side and allowed the man behind him to step through the door.

A tired wave.

“Well, looks like my brother did damn well for ‘imself. Since this is a first meetin’, hi. I’m Deadlock- Drift’s older brother.”

Drift swallowed hard, “We’re. We’re twins. three minutes apart.”

There was a thud. Ratchet scrambled to his feet, Brainstorm swore loudly, and Mimi groaned as her head gently hit the table.

Perceptor lay sprawled on the floor, out cold and skin sallow from the blood rushing away too fast for him to take after his morning coffee.

Deadlock shut the door silently behind him, boots heavy on the floor as Drift winced weakly at Perceptor’s reaction. Whirl wheezed a breath as Cyclonus’s face darkened.

“All these years, Drift. ALL THESE YEARS AND HE WAS A DAMNED TWIN.”

“Look, it’s complicated-”

“He wasn’t allowed to tell.”, said Deadlock flatly, reaching into his pocket for a crinkled cardboard pack, “It was... part of our deal.”

“DEAL?!”

“Yep. I turned myself in and... disappeared. Suddenly, I ‘defected’, major morale blow to the Cons, blah blah blah.”

“Continue.”, said Brainstorm, trying desperately to grind his teeth as Ratchet knelt, patting Perceptor’s cheeks and gently rousing him back to the land of the conscious.

“He turned himself in because I was being used as leverage.”, sighed Drift, “They threatened to hold me accountable for Deadlock’s... acts. Said I’d be charged as an accomplice because they ‘couldn’t truly prove’ that Deadlock did it and not me.”

“Textbook political manipulation.”, muttered Whirl, “Bet it was fuckin’ Prowl too, self-important tit-for-brains.”

“Eyup.”, said Deadlock, “But uh, I heard that the old family trait is here in the family? So which neicey or neph has it?”

“Has what?”, asked Mimi, her interest piqued.

“The eyes. Drift doesn’t have it as bad, y’see- but I do. ‘S part of why I was real effective at night operations.”

He walked forward, slow and cautious and with a too-sweet smelling cigarette between his lips. Cyclonus growled, low in his chest, and Deadlock raised his hands- slowly lowering them to reach into his pockets wtih two fingers and turn them briefly inside out.

“Don’t worry- I had good handlers; even if my sponsor’s a fuckin’ twat-”

“I should have absorbed you in the womb, brother.”

“Not the first time you didn’t think ahead, baby bro.”

Deadlock continued forward, stopping at the table they all sat around and leaning down, using one hand to hold open his eyelids- showing the catlike pupils surrounded by gold.

“See?”

“Gold...”, murmured Perceptor before straightening in the chair Ratchet had managed to help into, “Gold, of course- Mimi’s eyes are such a bright green, and my line was... cultivated to a degree...”

“So it’s Mimi? Which one’s Mimi?”

“Me.”, she said weakly, “I’m Mimi- and uhm.”

Drift sighed, “That’s why I looked at you so odd, kiddo. You and your uncle have the same eyes. It’s... a weird hiccup we both have.”

Deadlock looked down.

Brainstorm tilted his head, “Something that.. that RARE would be easy to trace, to find, to-”

“It was.”, said Deadlock quietly, “It’s part of why we were Dead End kids.”

Drift sighed, stepping forward, “The big... thing today wasn’t just Deadlock. Those ‘weird warrants’, Percy? That’s... That’s not what they are.”

“Then... what were they? They were obviously legal documents-”

“They were I’m-Sorry-Shut-Up money.”, said Deadlock flatly, “Drift here, an’ me, ain’t young y’know. We’re actually a bit older’n Megatron, dickhead he was. Ratchet’s not much older’n we are, after all. Our hair loses color early is all.”

Drift nodded, “The letters were parts of a payout- money I’m being given as... basically a ‘please don’t tell’ kind of thing from what remains of the powerstructure. Cause... Y’see. Dead End was pretty much... well...”

“It was a damn experiment, Drift, jus’ say it. Primus fuckin’ sakes.”, snapped Deadlock, “We’re reject babies. The result of the beginning of the genetic cult’vation projects. The ones that were preferred were given back to their families, the ones that weren’t were shoved in the system an’ reported as dead.”

Brainstorm’s eyes widened, and Perceptor put a hand over his mouth. Whirl’s jaw dropped slightly and Ratchet’s cheeks brightened with his temper.

“Birth-giver was a senatorial aide.”, said Drift quietly, “Donor parent was a senator. It’s all we really know.”

“So, onta the Big Reveal.”, said Deadlock easily, “Other than, y’know. Surprise, it’s an uncle.”

Drift winced, “Well, Uh- I’m...”, another sigh, “I’m Deadlock’s sponsor. For his rehabilitation. Have been for a long while now, and. Well...”

“I’m out of the facility, and they don’t think I’m a risk for relapse currently; but they don’t want me in an unfamiliar area or without support.”

Perceptor raised both of his eyebrows, “The condos on the edge of Metro. You have one, I’m guessing.”

“On the money, honey.”

“Do not.”

“Calm down baby bro.”

Deadlock still winked at Perceptor, exaggerated and almost silly if not for the severity of his profile- Jagged edges where Drift was worn smooth, scars unfaded and layered and the hint of old tattoos peeking out from under the longsleeve shirt he wore.

Perceptor spluttered for a moment, falling awkwardly silent as Brainstorm stared at him in affectionate disgust.

“It’ll be a slow introduction, honest- He’s better in moderation, like most bitter things-”

“Ow, rude.”

“But... I figured that it was better sooner than later to introduce everyone...”

“And th’last thing you needed was for your kids to see my white fuckin’ hair and think it was you at a gas station.”

“Oh my GOD will you shut up.”

“Mmmmmmnah.”

Mimi snorted, starting to cackle as her siblings just stared from the pair to her and back again.

“Oh my god, they’re just two cheeks of the same ass!”, exclaimed Dani, before Ratchet choked on a scold about her language.

The brother’s stared in mirrored offended alarm, before falling back to immediate bickering.

[zwei-the-penguin-with-a-pen]

‘Always’

Ruby Rose was beside herself with anticipation. She could hardly believe that this was happening. She was actually going to marry the love of her life. And no, it was not her weapon. She had wanted to marry Crescent Rose, but it wound up being too much hassle for just a conversation starter. She had a marriage license printed up that usually got people talking since she had a tech-savvy friend or two.

Today was the day that Ruby Rose would marry Weiss Schnee. Damn what Weiss's sorry excuse for a father had told them. Ruby could remember it like it was yesterday.

"Mister Schnee, I'm glad you took the time to meet with us... I just needed to tell you something. I wish to marry your daughter! She means the world to me!" Ruby had asked the horrible man. Why she'd felt the need to ask she could not remember. Perhaps it was some romanticized storybook sort of thing she'd read a bunch of times, the brave Huntsman asking the damsel's father for her hand.

That sounded like a pretty awful story, now that she thought back on it.

"I think you won't!" Schnee had told the both of them. Ruby nearly cried, but Weiss stepped in and defended their relationship.

"I don't believe you'll have a choice in the matter!" Weiss rebuked coldly.

"Excuse me?" The frosty creature asked. The conviction in Weiss's eyes seemed to startle him.

"I don't want any part of this company. You and little baby Whitley can have it and run it into the ground! I will be taking Ruby's name! I denounce the empty title of Schnee! It's never gotten me anything but pain before, anyway." Weiss insisted. Ruby was beyond proud of her for standing up for herself, for the both of them. She'd be sure to give her the extra special treatment when they got home later.

Weiss's father stood and began screaming at her, but Weiss shut him down.

"Do not presume that anything you say will sway me! You still have Shitley to save your precious company's face, what need do you have of me?" She continued, the frosty schmuck turning red and steaming. He raised his hand to strike Weiss, but the next he knew he was on his back. The blade of Crescent Rose rested just shy of his neck.

"I will kill you dead if you touch her, you monster!" Ruby reminded him. "She is not your property! She is a human, just like me! Not like you, though. You are no man, just a cowardly creature in a man's skin! So damn what you say! I'm gonna marry her anyway! And we're gonna have 43 adorable kids that may or may not be puppies!"

"Every chance you had at sounding menacing just flew out the window, Ruby!" Weiss complained, shaking her head at her little red slayer.

"I still have a scythe at his neck! Isn't that menacing enough?"

"You should probably let him up before he calls his security comes to collect us," Weiss suggested. Ruby slowly lifted her scythe away from the vile creature and folded it into its storage form.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll stay on your back until we're gone," Ruby commanded as she and Weiss made for the door.

"I'll disown you! I'll cut you off! You're not a Schnee anymore!" He tried fruitlessly to sway Weiss.

"I already said that! Besides, you can't really tell me that anyhow!" Weiss launched a glyph at him as he tried to jump to his feet. "You were never a Schnee in the first place!" She told him with icicles in her voice.

And they left that building and never returned... Right after Weiss vigorously kissed Ruby in one of Schnee's hallways. She thought they might actually do more than just kiss, but they figured that wouldn't be the best idea. Weiss had certainly been ravenous, though. Something about denouncing her father made her feel like a new person.

"Weiss, I'm so proud of you!" Ruby had told her when they finally made it back home. "But how are we going to have the giant, extravagant wedding you've been planning?"

"We don't need to have it! Just because I don't have Schnee money doesn't mean we can't have a nice wedding, Ruby. We can have a small outdoor ceremony at Taiyang's house. We can get done up all nice, I'll sweat off all my makeup and my hair will frizz up and I'll look all ratchet in front of all our friends. But I won't care how I look, because I'll be marrying the absolute love of my life, and there's nothing Jacquass Schnee and his blood money can do about it!" Weiss had answered. She waited for a response, but Ruby never gave one. Weiss looked at her, and Ruby had hearts in her eyes. Ruby GLOMPed Weiss.

"THAT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING ANYONE'S EVER SAID TO ME! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WEISS! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE!!"

"I love you too, Ruby. Now let's go rest. I'm tired. Maybe we can get even more tired..." The Nice Queen winked at Ruby, the red slayer nodding and grinning as they ran off toward the bedchamber.

And now, the day was finally here! Yang and the ladies from Team CFVY were helping Ruby prepare herself. Her scarlet dress and tuxedo jacket looked stunning, and Coco made certain her hair would be perfect. Velvet painted Ruby's nails and applied her makeup. Yang's Scroll kept ringing, taking calls about the reception preparations.

"I can't believe my baby sister's getting married!" Yang spazzed in between calls, hugging her sister tightly and making incomprehensible happy sounds.

"I won't be getting married if you crush me to death in here!" Ruby complained. Yang always had squeezed a bit too hard when she hugged.

"Anyway, I guess I'll go check up on Weiss's end of the party!" Yang told everyone as she zoomed out the door.

"YANG! Finally, someone sane!" Weiss cheered when Yang entered the room.

"I'm proud of you, Snowdrop! Fuck Jack Frost up in Atlas! I'll be your dad now!" Qrow was ranting, already a bit buzzed. Winter rolled her eyes at her wild husband.

"I'm sure you've told Winter that a time or two..." Weiss nicked. Qrow grinned while Winter's face fell. Her eyes shot at Weiss like daggers.

"As soon as your wedding night is through, I will kill you for that!" Winter joked, trying to act serious about her threat.

"Worth it! I won't be a Schnee anymore, and I'll die having just gotten laid!" Weiss returned, Winter and Qrow laughing loudly.

"You're all right, kid!" Qrow told her, hugging his soon to be niece!"

"All right, it looks like everything is in order! Let's get these broads married!" Yang cheered, and they all hustled away to begin.

Taiyang walked Ruby down the makeshift aisle, tearing up the entire time. "Dad, calm down! You did the same thing when Yang got married!" Ruby encouraged him. He took his place with the groom's party. Yang, Jaune, and Ren were Ruby's groomsmen, and the three of them congratulated her.

Weiss and Winter came next. Winter had the goofiest grin on her face the entire time, even more giddy than Yang to have her kid sister getting hitched.

Ghira and Kali oversaw the wedding. Kali tied the cords around each of the girls' hands, and Ghira did most of the speaking parts. He called for Ruby and Weiss's vows.

"Weiss, I'm not really good at the talking thing, obviously, but you're my most favorite conversation topic! You've been the voice of reason in my insanity for so many years now, and I can't wait for you to stop me from making even more completely irrational decisions! I love you, Weiss! You are my whole heart!" Ruby delivered nervously. Weiss could not control her urge to kiss Ruby right then.

"Now, now... there will be plenty of time for that in a moment, dear!" Ghira joked. Weiss yanked at her flowing white gown that was definitely made for someone much taller, hoping the grass wouldn't make it that dirty. She would probably slash the greater part of it to pieces anyway to make it into a nice cocktail dress, but she still wanted to look relatively pristine as she got married.

"Ruby,  you are the raucous soundtrack to my hopes and dreams! You're a tad in the crazy side, but a little crazy never hurt anyone before, I guess! Together we will slash at the darkness and stab the sky! You are the slayer of my demons, Ruby Rose, and I would be lost without you!" Weiss returned, Ruby's eyes turning to stars at the words.

"So, do I really have to go through the 'I Do' spiel?" Ghira asked, winking at the girls. Kali thought she would have to smack him. Yang and Blake presented the rings. Blake, Winter, Nora, and Pyrrha made up Weiss's crew of bridesmaids. Neptune had been on the list, but conflicting schedules had prevented him from making the scene.

"Alright, it looks like you two are finally married! You may kiss the bride! Or the bride may kiss the groom?" Ghira announced, keeping things interesting.

"Who cares who kisses who? Shut up and kiss already!" Kali demanded, the crowd laughing at her words. Ruby and Weiss kissed, and their witnesses all cheered for them.

The cakes Ren had prepared were positively perfect. Ruby's cake was an enormous cookie shaped like a scythe blade, and Weiss's looked like a shattered version of one of her glyphs. This symbolized her abandoning the Schnee name, and there was a nice slice through it, as though hacked apart by Crescent Rose.

Their reception was a raucous affair, what with Taiyang and Qrow being drunk and merry. Yang kept gawking at Blake in a tuxedo. Ruby and Weiss had a killer first dance together.

"I present to you, Ruby and Weiss Rose!" Qrow announced as the party rolled on, probably not entirely sure that it had started already.

Good job, Ruby and Weiss, and congratulations! You both deserve it! \/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/\/

Day Nineteen: Formal Wear

I PRESENT TO YOU THE WEDDING OF RUBY ROSE AND WEISS SCHNEE!!!

I’m really proud of writing a scene for Weiss to stand up to her father, and I’m really proud of Weiss in general. She’s become such an incredible character and I love her!

NOTE: I don’t exactly ship Qrow with Winter, I just REALLY wanted to use that joke. XD

But yeah, another wedding fic for your reading displeasure! WAHAHAH

[thezodiaczone]

June Forecast for Scorpio

Intensity is your jam, Scorpio, so why pretend otherwise? With the Sun in Gemini and your scintillating eighth house—the zodiac zone that’s governed by Scorpio—you’ll be in your element until June 21. Dive deep into researching, plotting and enjoying your obsession du jour. With mental Mercury also in Gemini until June 12, you can untangle any knotty emotional or financial issues—your own or someone else’s. Just make sure that your new unofficial role of therapist doesn’t distract you from your own duties. It will be all too easy to tumble down rabbit holes this month!

The June 13 Gemini new moon kicks off a new chapter around your closest bonds and mergers. From a joint business venture to a sexy soulmate connection, your focus will be on “power coupling” now. Between this and the corresponding Gemini full moon on November 23, a collaboration could crescendo. Enjoy the passionate meeting of the minds, hearts and/or souls, but do all the digging you need if you’re not ready to make things official. Take your time to explore the possibilities of a permanent merger and ensure that everyone’s most important needs will be satisfied. Think of the next six months as an energetic engagement period before you put a (literal or symbolic) ring on it. If the chemistry and connection are really right, your due diligence will be rewarded.

Father’s Day is June 17, and, serendipitously, the moon is in heart-centered Leo, ruler of your paternal tenth house. Spending quality time with your favorite father figure will be a no-brainer. Keep plans simple and structured instead of just going with the flow. With la luna in this upscale part of your chart, splurge this year: perhaps a brunch reservation for a chef’s tasting menu, great seats to a show or a chartered helicopter ride for an hour. (Split the cost with siblings or a few other people, and it won’t cost that much more than a nice meal.)

The second half of the month takes a different tone, as Neptune and Mars turn retrograde, bringing the total retrograde-planet count to five. Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto are already in their slowed-down cycles, and these newcomers put the world in an even more reflective state. Action could stall on an important project or goal. Rather than get frustrated, use this summer to handle unfinished business and tighten your existing plans.

Luckily, you’ll get a balancing burst of optimism once #CancerSeason begins on June 21 and the Sun makes its four-week voyage through the sign of the Crab, heating up your worldly and adventurous ninth house. Once your wanderlust kicks in, take some vacation days, exploring new curiosities through travel, workshops and learning. Got an idea for an indie side hustle? Play with a few possibilities. This is your month to branch out—you never know what your options really are until you take a risk and try. With expansive Jupiter retrograde in Scorpio until July 10, you might be ready to implement a few trial projects next month, when the red-spotted planet wakes up and gets you pumped to take a chance.

Back to this month’s retrogrades: The first U-turn is nebulous Neptune, which will backtrack through Pisces and your fifth house of love and self-expression from June 18 to November 24. A smooth-talking ex could resurface, or you might have second thoughts about a love interest. For couples, compassionate Neptune won’t be as available to help you smooth over conflict with sweet talk and denial—a blessing in disguise, perhaps.

Watch for passive-aggressive people who stir up drama then act innocent, making YOU feel like it’s your fault (the official term is “gaslighting”). Distance yourself from divas and attention seekers who drain your energy this summer—and if you find you don’t miss them, maintain that healthy space after Neptune turns direct. You don’t have to clean up their messes, Scorpio. With codependent Neptune in “sleep” mode, this is your chance to let others be accountable for their actions. Use the extra time to do any romantic repair work or to pick up a passion project that got back-burnered.

From June 26 to August 27, intensifier Mars will be retrograde—mostly in Aquarius and your fourth house of home and family. This could stall plans to move, renovate or expand your progeny—or add a layer of tension to any domestic affairs. Combative Mars could ratchet up the tension under your roof with relatives and roommates.

With stressful Mars in this brooding backslide, you could feel claustrophobic, and you’ll be extra sensitive to “stuck” energy in your home, workspace or any place where you spend significant time. Transform that cabin fever into Feng Shui fever: Give cluttered areas a Marie Kondo-style space-clearing, ditching (or packing away) possessions that don’t “spark joy.” Light a sage wand or three and follow a few practical tips from the Simple Shui blog to give your sacred spaces more oxygen!

Speaking of air, you have a powerful chance to clear it on June 28, when the year’s only Capricorn full moon illuminates your third house of communication. With maturity planet Saturn hovering close by, put on the big-Scorpio pants and have “the talk.” If need be, follow these great steps for having difficult conversations. Goal-oriented Capricorn energy helps you focus on the desired outcome, not harp on the problem. Use these mediating moonbeams to forge a win-win scenario. Exciting news could arrive at this full moon, and an idea you’ve been working on since January could come together at last!

Love & Romance

With amorous Venus in Cancer and your worldly ninth house until June 13, you’ll be adventurous and willing to try new things. Travel opportunities could crop up, and if you’ve got the time and funds, pack a bag and go! This open-minded and open-hearted cycle is great for meeting people who aren’t your usual type. Don’t be too quick to move on after “hello”; a few more sentences might reveal that there’s real chemistry there. A cross-cultural or long-distance affair could be just the thing to spice up your summer.

The first couple days of the month are especially hot. When Venus aligns with expansive Jupiter in your sensual sign on June 1, you’ll feel especially confident and eager to take a chance on romance. In a relationship? This sweet sync-up can deepen your bond and inspire you to express your true feelings. On June 2, the love planet forms another harmonious trine, this time with dreamy Neptune in Pisces and your passionate fifth house. You might step out of your guarded character and share a fantasy—all the better if you’ve got the right partner in crime to help you enact it!

But for all the feistiness and independence you’re feeling, there’s an equal and opposite pull toward the sentimental and familiar. With intense Mars in Aquarius and your foundational fourth house all month, emotions could be extra-strong—and all over the map. Before you react, take a few steps back to assess the situation more objectively.

Mars turns retrograde in June for two months, which could leave you prone to mood swings and even depression. There may be a family drama to deal with, or you might have second thoughts or regrets about opening up to someone. If you were all set to move in together and that plan stalled, take it as a sign that there are still a few things left to negotiate.

When Venus parades into Leo and your future-oriented tenth house on June 13 (until July 9), you’ll get more serious about what’s next, in both your career and your love life. Singles could meet someone at work or an industry-related event, or an enthusiastic colleague might volunteer to play matchmaker. Couples can have some serious conversations about shared goals and where you both see yourselves one, two and five years down the road.

Even as she’s cruising down the freeway, the love planet will hit a few speed bumps in the second half of the month. On June 14, she squares off with erratic Uranus, possibly putting you and your S.O. at odds in an unexpected way. A week later, on June 21, she forms a tense opposition with passionate Mars, which could tear you between head and heart. Finally, on June 25, Venus clashes with expansive Jupiter in your sign, which could leave you craving room to roam. You don’t HAVE to walk away from a solid union; just give yourself enough personal space to detach from other people’s demands so you don’t grow resentful.

Key Dates

June 14: Venus-Uranus Square Are you on the same page for the future? Someone’s instability or lack of clear direction might be making it hard to plan ahead. Your desire for excitement could be at odds with your attempts to lock in a long-term commitment. Finding the right balance of security and autonomy may take some creative compromise.

Money & Career

The divine is in the details this month, Scorpio. With the Sun in Gemini and your focused eighth house until June 21, you’ve got the stamina to tackle a project that needs your microscopic attention. From taxes to spreadsheets to investing, your long-term finances are calling. Tune in while mental Mercury is also here until June 12, and you’ll get through the most grueling parts. The June 13 Gemini new moon helps you turn over a new fiscal leaf. This lunar lift could bring a joint venture or real estate opportunity. If you can pool your talents and resources for mutual gain, why go it alone, Scorpio?

Action planet Mars is hiding out in your domestic sector until August 12. Carve out a niche where you can get productive or give your home office a makeover and cleanup. You’ll be super productive and inspired at Chateau Scorpio, so even if it’s just a zoned-off corner of the coffee table that you can claim, mark your turf! And do it before Mars turns retrograde for two months on June 26. After that, friction will rise under your roof. Freelance Scorpios: Consider joining a coworking space or even commandeering a friend’s spare room (or desk or kitchen table) if you need to get work done above the fray.

Once the Sun enters Cancer on June 21, you’ll have a month of blue-sky dreaming ahead, so carve out time for those visionary projects that are more about passion than practicality. Have you gotten consumed with an office microdrama or burnt out by long hours staring at eight-point typography? Pull yourself out of tunnel vision and shift your settings to wide-angle. The June 28 Capricorn full moon could bring a powerful pitch meeting or an opportunity that involves writing, teaching or media.

Key Dates

June 27: Sun-Saturn Opposition Someone’s gloomy comment could burst your balloon or cause you to lose faith in one of your big ideas. While it’s never a bad idea to double-check your data, there’s no reason to give up on your dream! Everyone experiences the occasional moment of self-doubt, but don’t let fear of failure stop you from trying!

Love Days: 6, 11 Money Days: 17, 26 Luck Days: 15, 23 Off Days: 8, 13, 21

[notwhelmedyet]

Is 'Ratchet has a nice day' a sufficient writing prompt?

yes, of course! This ficlet is called Still Waters and I’ll probably throw it on ao3 tomorrow after I edit it / after work bc I really like it. Post-war, post-LL, inexplicable happy ending with a deeply dreamlike feeling. Married Dratchet, bc that’s my speed.

The space between patients was a good one. Sunlight came into the corridor through the skylights above and soaked into his plating, doors of the examination rooms built thick and insulated so the air hung still. Ratchet let himself sit in the bench while he read through the notes on his next patient, warmth from the solar radiation loosening up his aching joints.

When he got to the examination room, his assistant was still there, bouncing on his heels as music warbled out of the speakers they’d rigged up in the corners of the room. The patient was hooked up to as many readouts as was feasible, but was still swinging his legs in time with the beat.

“Oh, hey Ratch,” Beacon said with a lazy salute. “Got you a Cybercrosis case. Skywave, this is Doctor Ratchet, he’ll be handling your case while I assist.”

Skywave smiled a little pinched smile at Ratchet. A couple years wasn’t near long enough for anyone to get used to the idea of Cybercrosis being easily curable. Ratchet could understand, still had to catch himself on the diagnosis every time. But Skywave wasn’t far along and the cure they’d been improving ever since Luna I was a perfect fit for him. Ratchet got him settled and set up in the energon filtration system, and made sure Beacon had scheduled up the follow-up appointment while he walked him through the theory of the cure. Beacon was a promising medic, Ratchet hoped he’d stick around after his apprenticeship was over. His students kept leaving to found hospitals all over the galaxy and it’d be good to have a helping hand around the clinic.

After Skywave’s appointment, Ratchet excused himself to take his mid-shift break. He was partway through a book Nautica had recommended him and he was hoping to finish it before they saw each other next. The book had a nice audio narrator, so he took a walk around the neighborhood while he listened, grabbed a few things from one of the corner store where they didn’t mind if you kept your audio feed running and limited your interactions to the business essentials. The air was swirling with sweet scents from the snack stands Drift could never resist. Ratchet didn’t feel hungry yet, so he just let all of that soak into his chemoreceptors and imagined how they’d taste.

After break, he observed Beacon on some simple cases, fixing broken limbs, replacing parts, cleaning and upgrading. It was a quiet day at the clinic, the way Ratchet liked them. He took a call from the local hospital, looking to see when he could act as lead for a fairly complicated surgery, spark chamber embrittlement. Ratchet put them on his calendar for the day after next after checking to make sure the patient wasn’t reaching the terminal stages yet. Then he had to call up First Aid and see if he still had those old case files on the embrittlement surgeries they’d attended over together. Ratchet had them somewhere, but he was still at the “dump all the files in a pile“ stage of his ongoing file organization project. He’d get to it eventually.

The night nurse, Latency, came in a few minutes early and they caught up on a few administrative things they’d been meaning to talk about. Beacon headed out while their heads were still together, going over their supply ordering calendar. Ratchet was reminded of the time with a jolt and stood up out of his seat midsentence. “I forgot—”

Latency grinned and waved him off. “Go! We can talk this over tomorrow.”

Ratchet nodded and made his way out through the waiting room, where a few patients were filling out forms with the help of Latency’s apprentice, whose name Ratchet still hadn’t memorized. They all paused to wave him goodnight as he hustled through. He stepped out into the cool blue night air, brushing invisible specks off his plating as he went. He checked his chrono and realized it wasn’t nearly as late as he’d imagined, barely two minutes over his habitual departure time. He chuckled, shaking his head at himself. Getting all flustered about being two minutes late, some things never changed.

“Hey there, handsome. You waiting for someone?” A mech strode down the walkway, hands resting loosely on his hips and a sharp-toothed smile playing on his face.

Ratchet groaned and reached out to grab Drift by the wrist and pull him close. “You’re ridiculous,” he said, smiling into the crook of Drift’s neck where Drift wouldn’t be able to see it. Drift threw his arms around Ratchet’s back, fingers tracing gentle circles on his plating.

Drift hummed agreeably. “Sure am,” he said. “You ready to go? Need anything from home?”

“I’m good,” Ratchet said.

They stood there for a long moment, nobody willing to step back first. Eventually, Drift pulled away, trailing a hand over Ratchet’s arm to catch his hand and he did. Ratchet squeezed back and smiled at Drift. Under the white streetlights, Drift’s plating practically glowed, whole and perfect. Drift caught him staring and ducked his head, biting at his lower lip in that old habit of his.

“How was your day?” Ratchet asked, starting them down the street. The storefronts on this block were bright at night, panels of light across the walkway guiding them towards the rail hub.

“It was good,” Drift said. “I like teaching, you know. It’s good.”

Ratchet liked Drift teaching too, better than the days he worked the perimeter of the city scouring the wilderness for dangerous creatures or orbital security. Drift was untethered, you couldn’t expect him to be content doing the same thing every day like Ratchet did. It was enough to ask him to stay planetside with Ratchet.

“I’d love to see you teach sometime,” Ratchet said.

“You could take a day off any time,” Drift said. “Beacon could fill in, or call up one of your old students. Or even just close the clinic for the day; it’s not like there aren’t other hospitals.”

“I’ll have to think about it,” Ratchet said. The train pulled up and slid to a silent halt, doors opening into the brightly lit space. Drift and Ratchet crowded together in the back, nearly in each other’s laps, Drift’s head tilted back against Ratchet’s chest as they talked over the day and the little things that had filled it. The space filled up as they went along, packed to bursting when they hit the shore and Drift and Ratchet squeezed their way out onto the beach. There was already a crowd and music going, lights spotted along the shoreline and the moon bright above. Drift pinged out for them and immediately set out through the crowd to meet up with their friends.

Ratchet spotted Thunderclash first, a head and shoulders above the crowd even if Rung hadn’t been riding on his shoulders, laughing away. Thunders spotted Ratchet and Drift and beamed at them. The rest of the crew parted like the sea and folded them in, surrounded by a mass of patting hands and careening conversations. Someone pushed a drink in Ratchet’s hand and Thunderclash offered up a toast.

They hung close by Thunderclash, Ratchet and Drift each with one arm slung around the other’s waist as they chatted and sipped new mixes Swerve had dreamed up. Thunderclash drew out a few stories, forming worlds with his hands as he went. Eventually Rodimus rolled up, fashionably late as always. The music had picked up a driving rhythm and Rodimus came over already half dancing.

“Ratch, can I steal your conjunx for a song?” Rodimus said with a laugh, overcharged slur to his words. Ratchet rolled his optics and waved Drift on, watching as the two speedsters scooted out into the crowd of dancers. The two friends grinned at each other and twirled until they were lost in the crowd. They came back a few songs later, Rodimus clinging to Drift’s back like a sucker as Drift lurched, half collapsing under Rodimus’s weight and his uncontrollable giggles. Drift dumped him out on the sand and flopped on the ground, watching Ratchet from across the crowd.

Ratchet made his apologies to Thunders and went to his conjunx, still lying on the ground in a pose he probably thought was alluring, covered in sand. “Having fun down there?” He asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Tons of fun,” Drift agreed. “You should pick me up, I’m tired.”

“Nah,” Ratchet said. “That’s just you trying to trick me into getting dragged into a sand wrestle with you and Rod. I know your tricks.”

“See?” Rodimus said. “I told you, he’s onto us!”

Drift pouted. “You’re no fun, Ratch.”

“I just don’t want sand in my hip joints again. Once was plenty. Twice was excessive.”

Drift shrugged, not contrite at all. With a quick roll back onto his shoulders, he threw himself back onto his feet and offered Rodimus a hand up before pressing himself up against Ratchet’s side again, sand gritty between their plating. Rodimus hooked his thumb over his shoulder, mouthing something that looked like “Finding Magnus,” as he backed into the crowd. “It’s a beautiful night,” Drift said.

“Yeah, it is,” Ratchet agreed.

“Thanks for coming out with me.”

“Of course,” Ratchet said. “How’s our favorite terror?”

“Roddy’s great,” Drift said. “He wants to take me asteroid surfing again.”

“Of course he does,” Ratchet said. “You going?”

“Said I had to check with you, I wasn’t sure if it’d conflict with our plan for the anniversary trip.”

Ratchet tipped his helm against Drift’s and rested a moment. “We’ll check when we get home. You want to find a spot to watch the show?”

They ended up sitting out on the pier, waves lapping up against their ankles. The shore was packed, mechs shoulder to shoulder as they watched the night sky. Ratchet had completely lost sight of the rest of the crew in the thick of it.

The first firework split the sky with a shockwave that sent waves slapping against the pier. Drift startled, but he was smiling when Ratchet looked over. The next explosion wasn’t any quieter, and Ratchet lowered his audial sensitivity with a wince. Fireworks were a lot louder up close, when you shot them off in atmosphere. Drift jumped again at the third blast and someone banged their knee against the back of Ratchet’s head.

He turned to Drift to ask but Drift was already speaking. “Do you want—”

“—to go home?”

He snorted and crouched on the pier, scooping Drift up into his arms as he stood. Drift wriggled and started laughing, throwing his arms around Ratchet’s neck like he thought a medic frame wasn’t capable of lifting a lightweight speedster like him. Ratchet didn’t complain, about that or the sand. The other spectators on the pier gave them dirty looks as Ratchet picked his way back to the shore. Frag them. The lightshow happened every year and went for hours, they weren’t missing anything. Ratchet didn’t set Drift down till they were back at the rail station for fear of losing him in the crowd. From up there the crowd was a shifting chaos of bioights in the dark but the explosions were still strut-shakingly loud.

On the train home they sat in seats across from one another, alone in the railcar. “I can’t believe we bailed on our first date in months,” Drift said.

“It was my fault. I just don’t like being surrounded by that many people,” Ratchet said. “Sorry if I ruined your evening.”

“Don’t lie, I know you left because I wasn’t enjoying it.” Drift smiled, a little sad. “I thought it’d be easier.”

“We’ll catch the second half at home,” Ratchet said. “We’ll get up on the roof and watch, you can bring those ridiculous snacks you like.”

“Best of both worlds,” Drift said. He swapped over to the seat next to Ratchet and cozied up against his side. They’d be home in a few minutes, and Ratchet would manage to forget the keycode again. They’d wander through their hab with the lights off and bump into everything and each other gathering up snacks and blankets and whatever else Drift suddenly needed desperately. They’d curl up under the stars together and they’d be home and everything would be good.

Primus, what a life he’d lived.

[the-energon-hole]

how TFP!Ratchet, Smokescreen, Knockout and RiD! Sideswipe (last bot your choice) react to their s/o standing up before immediately collapsing because their leg is asleep. Their s/o is laughing hard because it's hilarious to them that they can't walk.

Transformers Prime

Ratchet

-You were glad Ratchet was comfortable enough with you to let you sit here with him near his work station- it was nice to just sit and talk while you got to watch him work on his various projects. You weren’t much help most of the time, you weren’t a genius like Raf was, but it was the best quality time you got to spend with him despite you being a little unhelpful most of the time. You took note of how he always mumbled to himself incoherently when he is hyper focused on any give task, it was a cute quirk the grumpy old bot possessed that you wouldn’t dare tell him about out of fear he might stop doing it.

-Sitting here was nice, but you usually ended up getting bad cramps in your legs from always having to be in a scrunched up sitting position. There wasn’t exactly a nice place for you to settle down near Ratchet’s work table, it wasn’t exactly built with a human sitting place in mind. True you can sit like that for hours on end, but sometimes your knees just needed to stretch- and that tingly numbness you felt in your lower legs was an indication that it was about time you stood up to get the blood flowing around your body again. Maybe you will go get some lunch, it was about lunchtime after all.

-You stood up a little too fast, however, and you were unable to correct yourself as you felt your legs give way from underneath you. You met with the ground pretty quick, quicker than Ratchet could react- he jumped when he heard a loud thud from where you were supposed to be sitting. Before he could begin panicking you began to laugh- he was confused and a little angry, you just took a big spill how can you be laughing?! You responded with how can you not laugh- you stood up to dang fast and you just fell over your own feet! You have to laugh at yourself every once in awhile, especially when something funny like this happens.

Arcee

-You were a very patient kind of person, you knew Arcee was a very busy bot- between her duties as a Cybertronian warrior and her caring for young Jack a lot of the time, you two really didn’t get to spend a whole lot of daytime hours together. It was at night time when the busy hustle and bustle lifestyle you both lived that you two were able to spend the most time together. Being able to wind down and relax at the end of the day was actually very therapeutic- but sometimes you just missed her so much you wished there were more hours in a day to spend with each other.

-You had such respect and adoration for what she did on a daily basis, but sometimes you just absolutely missed her. It got boring at night while you sat there on your shared berth just browsing through the internet, mindlessly waiting for that clock to strike a certain time and Arcee would pop through that door with a loving smile and stories about how her day was while you two were apart. You loved hearing everything she had to say, and you know she felt the same way about you- it as a special bond between the two of you, as there were never any secrets or lies.

-When that door slid open early, you could feel yourself beaming as you looked up from your laptop screen, Arcee was home early! It was rare when it happened, but it was always a happy moment that sometimes you act before you think. You gently placed the laptop next to you on the ground as you stood up a little too quickly. You must have been using that device longer than you though, as not only did you get a head rush- your legs just stopped working all together. You met with the ground in a flash, and you felt devastated- how can you be so clumsy in front of Arcee?! That went away pretty quick, as the both of you began to laugh with each other, “I knew you would be happy to see me, but I didn’t think you would be falling all over yourself!” you smiled from your spot on the ground as you have yet to stand up, you were so lucky to have her.

Knockout

-When riding with Knockout in his vehicle mode- he doesn’t allow you to put your feet on the seat, when in reality you find sitting scrunched up to be a little more comfortable than the standard sitting position. Knockout hated that little quirk about you, but it didn’t bother you that he felt that way- no matter what he says it won’t change! You two loved to tease each other over small flaws you have, it was all in good fun, you both were secure in who you were enough to tease in that way.

-He often liked to take you to nice places like this, you both sat next to one another as you star gazed at the beautifully lit sky. Being from a big city you were never able to see the sky so beautifully like this, so you spent hours staring as Knockout pointed out both Earth and Cybertronian constellations. It was times like this that you really enjoyed being in his company, even though he can be a pain in the rear end sometimes. He could be downright romantic when he actually stops polishing his frame long enough to think about other people, and you laugh as he got all huffy with you for saying something like that.

-He stood up and began to stretch as he claimed it was time to head home and get ready to go to sleep, as he bragged about how hard he works and that he deserves every break that he can get. You rolled your eyes as you watched him transform, but as soon as you stood you felt that tingly numbness that happens when your legs stay scrunched up for far too long. Before you could even thing, you felt yourself hit the dirty ground rather hard. You hear Knockout begin to laugh, saying that is what you get for saying he was vain and unromantic, you just laughed along with him- bad karma strikes again.

Smokescreen

-You and Smokescreen’s favorite pastime was going out into the middle of the desert to see how fast he could push the limits of his alt-mode. It was something that you both did almost every single weekend, and it was something that never got old. You always packed one of those folding chairs with you when he wanted to really push his limits, he wouldn’t want you to get hurt on the off chance he ever lost control. You didn’t mind just sitting on the sidelines watching him race himself, it was like having your very own personal nascar to cheer for, one you could smooch later once he was finished trainning. You could watch him for hours and hours on end, he was so elegant as a car, and even more so when he was a bot.

-That old folding chair wasn’t exactly the most comfortable thing in the world, and you have been meaning to replace it, you just always forget until you are actually sitting in the dang thing. You always sat with your legs tucked up under you, as that was much more comfortable than sitting on the cushion less folding chair. It was a position you were used to being in at this point, so you never complained about it out loud to anyone- what was the point of complaining about it anyway, you could fix it if you could just remember to get new chair.

-You were so caught up in watching Smokey racing that you didn’t notice the numb feeling in your thighs, it wasn’t until he was done racing and slid to a stop in front of you with open doors did you notice it a little too late. You jumped out of your chair, only to effectively landon your front when your legs couldn’t handle the pressure you were putting on them. You laughed as you heard Smokescreen transform and give off a noise of concern- he couldn’t understand why you were laughing, and you simply said that it was fine and that is what you get for not buying a new chair. He didn’t get it, and muttered something about humans being a weird species that didn’t make sense.

Transformers Robots in DIsguise (2015)

Sideswipe

-If there was one thing you knew about sweet Sideswipe, and you boasted that you knew the standoffish bot pretty well, it’s that he can’t get enough of showing off in front of you. Well, showing off and garnering all the attention and compliments he can get in one conversation. You didn’t mind it one bit, you thought it was kind of endearing that he tries so hard to keep your interest and attention- true that it has bad roots stemming from the fact he is insecure with himself, but if your attention helps alleviate those negative feelings than you were more than happy to keep your eyes on him all day and all night.

-In these moments, when he insisted that you watch him train even though you have some work to do, you wished you had a better laptop to do your work on while you sat on the ground a few feet from Sides as he portrayed all his new moves for you. You also wish you had a soft cushion to sit on or something, because the dirty ground was starting to make your thighs and bum numb- especially when you could be sitting her for hours on end. Sides always wants to make sure he gets his moves right, and gets a little upset if you call off his little show off session early. It was a good thing he was cute, otherwise you wouldn’t put up with all this tomfoolery- he, of course knew all of this already. Sometimes you suspected he was testing your patience, and you made sure you weren’t ever going to fail that test.

-Once he was done with this training session he began to stretch out his limbs so he wouldn’t be sore later, and you wanted to join in on that too, as your aching thighs would thank you for it later when you can sit down and not feel how much your bum actually hurt. You went to stand, but your legs buckled under your weight and you felt yourself fall backwards right onto the hard ground, thankfully you didn’t land to hard. You heard Sideswipe stop his movements and you could hear him move towards you, he probably wasn’t sure if he should feel worried or concerned. Once you started laughing though, you could hear him chuckle and say “you’re lucky you are cute, otherwise I wouldn’t put up with these things you do”.

[dipulb3]

2020 Maserati Quattroporte review: Where's the emotion?

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2020 Maserati Quattroporte review: Where's the emotion?

The Quattroporte is easily one of the most expressive cars in its segment, although it’s not like the competition appears to be trying very hard.

Andrew Krok/Roadshow

Alfa Romeo and Maserati are two different Italian brands in the larger Fiat Chrysler fiefdom. Alfa feels like its own automaker, with evocative styling and parts you’d be hard-pressed to see anywhere outside another Alfa Romeo. Maserati, on the other hand, is more of a corporate luxury brand, borrowing more from its family in pursuit of creating smooth, comfortable cars. In that sense, the 2020 Quattroporte follows through with its intentions, though I can’t help but wonder if the ol’ trident is double-dipping too many of its chips.

Like

Comfortable cruising

Hushed interior

Excellent infotainment

Don’t Like

Lacks emotion

Chrysler bits everywhere

Drivetrain needs refining

(Almost) all in the family

When Maserati had one sedan, it was easy to figure out which it was — it was that one. Now there are two, though, and it’s surprisingly hard to tell the Quattroporte and Ghibli apart. Perhaps that’s just a sign of the times, considering I havethe exact same issue trying to figure out whether a blur on the highway was an S-Class or an E-Class, a 7 Series or a 5. But while its Teutonic competition has kept things staid in recent memory, Maserati’s styling is at least distinct. The front grille’s odd cut and small opening remind me of the QPs of yore, while curves and cut lines abound from the headlight to the trunk lid, although some of it gets lost in my tester’s base white paint, as delightful and pearlescent as it is.

If the exterior does its best to stand out, the interior plays it closer to the chest. This Quattroporte SQ4 is the GranLusso variant, which ratchets up the luxury to focus on plushness, unlike the sportier-looking GranSport. There’s a whole lot to like in here, whether it’s the matte wood with its tactile grain or the leather that’s just about as soft as I’ve felt in a sub-$250,000 car. It all intermingles on a nice, if simply designed, dashboard. The real visual effort comes through in the door panels and seats, where there are plenty of neat stitching and more high-quality materials. A massive center console splits the car in two through to the back (a $4,000 option), leaving four individual seats that offer plenty of space to get comfortable, and the power-reclining rear buckets in my tester make this car feel equally nice for drivers and driven alike.

I can tell the Quattroporte will go over well with the Sierra Club sort because the interior is filled with recycled materials. The window switches are lightly chromed versions of what you find in the Jeep Cherokee. The wheel’s volume and channel controls are located on the back and feel exactly like the ones in every other FCA product. The protuberant headlight controls can be found by searching “2019 Dodge Charger interior” on Google. If this were any other FCA product, I’d be more inclined to forgive it, but this Quattroporte SQ4 GranLusso starts at $115,685 including destination. Any more bits from the late, great Sergio Marchionne in here and you may as well call it the Chrysler 900.

Despite a body the size of a naval warship, there isn’t a lot of space to put stuff in the QP. The door pockets have tall sides, so you can’t fit a large water bottle in there — or anywhere in the interior, thanks to the small, fixed-size cup holders in both rows. There’s a slot for your phone ahead of the shifter, which you can’t access with the front cup holder full. The center console armrest may as well stay shut forever, because the underlying cubby is shallow and won’t accommodate items thicker than a couple inches. The back row’s center console storage is much more voluminous, which doesn’t do the driver much good.

A mixed bag on the road

I can assume Maserati wants me and all owners to give the Quattroporte SQ4 the ol’ what-for on the road, since it’s loaded with adjustable vehicle modes, adaptive suspension and a plucky turbocharged V6. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and the Quattroporte doesn’t captivate me because it rides a weird line between sport and sedate.

The car’s baked-in luxury isn’t hard to suss out. In its default Normal mode, the adaptive suspension offers plenty of damping, soaking up most of Michigan’s nastiness. But the chassis was clearly designed with sporting pretensions in mind, its rigidity acting as a counterbalance to the plushness, a problem that air suspension — available on competitors, but not the QP — would help mitigate. Normal mode also features a throttle so softly tuned that smooth stops and starts are dead simple and repeatable, but it requires a surprising amount of push to elicit appreciable forward motion.

The QP’s cabin is quite nice, but any owner who’s spent time in any other modern Fiat Chrysler vehicle will find a lot of, um, remnants.

Andrew Krok/Roadshow

Most of the time, I leave the Quattroporte SQ4 in Sport mode, which tightens throttle response, holds gears longer and opens up a flap in the exhaust. It’s far more capable of responding to pedal adjustments here, letting the 3.0-liter, twin-turbocharged V6 make the most of its 424 horsepower and 428 pound-feet of torque. Thrust abounds across the tachometer’s sweep, and the eight-speed automatic transmission always seems to know the right gear to be in, even though it chooses to ignore eighth gear at all costs in Sport, even on the highway.

Changing the suspension to Sport all but eliminates body roll, but I wouldn’t call the ride comfortable. And considering there’s no way on Earth to mask this car’s mass, it’s not exactly rewarding to hustle on backroads. The active exhaust, to my ear, only seems to make the car louder after a cold start and during upshifts. Otherwise, those dulcet tones blend into the ether, which is kind of a letdown. I think it’s better for the folks on the sidewalk.

I appreciate that Maserati offers all-wheel drive on the Quattroporte, but I wish it were better. It’s great that the SQ4 trim tends to keep all that power heading rearward, engaging the front half when grip is requested, but I can feel binding within the AWD system at lower speeds, especially when leaving my neighborhood and heading onto a faster road. It doesn’t exactly build confidence, nor do I think it’s indicative of how a six-figure sedan should operate.

Bless you, Uconnect

Look, I know Maserati calls its infotainment system Maserati Touch Control Plus, but I bet it claims those window switches are unique, too. The telematics getup is a reskinned version of Fiat Chrysler’s Uconnect, and guess what? That’s great! Uconnect is an excellent system, with well-placed access to vital pages and menus that aren’t overwhelming in their density. Apple CarPlay and Android Auto are included, and daily actions like setting a navigation destination or pairing a phone via Bluetooth are nice and simple to execute. MTC Plus is far better than what Alfa Romeo came up with on its own — the first time or the second time — and it’s proof that not all parts-bin engineering is a bad thing.

A more elegant reskin would be the only thing I’d recommend change in the QP’s infotainment system. The rest of it is damn near perfect.

Andrew Krok/Roadshow

The second screen, which lives between the physical tachometer and speedometer, is less pleasing to my eye. While I love the sheer customizability of the display, capable of showing me anything from oil temperature to how the car’s all-wheel drive is delivering power, it is once again plucked from any number of mass-market FCA vehicles with little change beyond the background color. I suppose the learning curve is diminished if your other car is a Durango, but at the same time, if I worked my way up the ladder, I’d want something a little more unique. It’s good to have, but man, change the damn font or something.

The Quattroporte SQ4 is also thick with safety tech. Driver assistance comes by way of forward collision warning, adaptive cruise control, lane-keeping assist, blind-spot monitoring, a surround-view camera and parking sensors. The adaptive cruise can work in conjunction with the lane-keeping bits to hold the vehicle in its lane on the highway, and I appreciate the hands-on system’s ability to keep the car’s straight-ahead position without feeling too ping-pongy between the lines.

How I’d spec it

With an as-tested price north of $125,000, my tester is a bit too loaded up for my tastes. The ideal Quattroporte starts with the standard S, eliminating the wonky AWD and saving about $5,000 in the process. I’ll spend $400 to upgrade the wheels to ones that look good, and inside, I’ll ignore my tester’s more expensive leather option in favor of Zegna-branded seats that have a bit of silk in there. Otherwise, dropping $2,000 on a stereo upgrade and $300 for heated rear seats brings me to $113,885 including destination. Keep it simple.

Credit where it’s due: The QP’s key is unbelievably heavy, which makes it feel expensive. Other OEMs could learn a thing or two here.

Andrew Krok/Roadshow

Down to brass tacks

The Quattroporte’s chief competition comes by way of the Audi A8, BMW 7 Series and Mercedes-Benz S-Class, all of which lack the emotion present in the Maserati’s exterior design. However, each brings its own benefit to the table. If you want to feel like you’re in a sleek spaceship full of alien tech, the A8 is where it’s at. The 7 Series offers some decent driving dynamics hidden under its luxury, while the Merc is the choice for the person who strives for the pinnacle of plushness. All four are expensive.

The 2020 Maserati Quattroporte SQ4 offers plenty to like, but the question of whether or not it’s worth it is a personal one. It’s the only Italian executive sedan you can buy in the US, if that sort of thing matters to you, but its parent company may have taken familial resemblance a little too far in some areas. But if you want to stray from the usual pack, the Quattroporte definitely stands out.

[ricardosousalemos]

Urochromes: Night Bully EP

Urochrome, singular, is the pigment that determines the color of urine. Urochromes, plural, are the pummeling duo from Western Massachusetts that released a handful of noisy hardcore platters over the past two years on underground punk labels. Frontman Jackie Jackieboy commands attention with his rabid, yammering screams. Dick Riddick is the shredder, responsible for solos and the band’s massive, gnarly guitar tone. Their drummer is (literally) a machine. On their first release, 2015’s Get in Line 4 Mental Decline, Jackie shout-sang about pissing in a bottle in his room, and then, pissing on his best friend. At a glance, that appears to be the ceiling for Urochromes—fun, volatile, rapid-fire scatological punk. With their new EP Night Bully, the duo and their robot drummer seek paths beyond hardcore’s aesthetic limitations.

The title track begins with crackling guitars mingling with deep, burbling electronics. Jackie forgoes a scream, focusing all his intensity into an aggressive, rhythmic whisper. The title “Night Bully” suggests  intimidation, and there is definitely a posturing pushiness to its narrative. “I am the new muscle/Everyone needs a secret hustle,” Jackie notes, menacingly, before prodding further: “You should know that/You should really know that.” He repeatedly demands that you “be the uromancer”—someone who divines the future by reading urine bubbles. It’s the only overt reference to piss, and it’s puerile, yes, but it's also an incomprehensible, psychedelic call to action.

“Night Bully”’s overall tone isn’t unprecedented for Urochromes. The band had already been working with drum machines, and their obsession with industrial punk acts like Chrome came through loud and clear on their 2015 cover of “Chromosome Damage.” Jackie’s whispers take that aesthetic into new territory. The EP’s closing track, however, comes out of left field. The Northampton, Massachusetts-based coldwave duo Boy Harsher deliver a remix of “Night Bully” that renders the source material unrecognizable. A smooth, beatific synthesizer melody floats over a pulsing drone as a somber Jae Matthews croons the same words Jackie had just been aggressively whispering. It’s a wholly unexpected turn, but the synth pop jam shares Urochromes’ sonic DNA. There are familiar stabs of darkness that come through—demonic voices and the occasional squeal of guitar. It’s a welcome note to end on.

The record’s entire A-side, by contrast, shows Urochromes at the height of their hardcore powers. Riddick’s hooks are polished on “Confront Ya,” and the drum machine ratchets up the urgency. Jackie ladles bile on his target—someone who boasts about finding success while outlining their plans to climb the ladder. “You want to crush me with your boot,” he observes before bellowing with disgust, “You want to move to L.A.!” Jackie’s frustration holds sway on “My Disposition”—his disposition, apparently, is that he always manages to blow a relationship before it even gets off the ground. That’s the nature of Night Bully—they’re frustrated, and they’re lashing out.

Urochromes’ new one is about 11 minutes long (if you don’t count the second Boy Harsher remix that’s offered as a digital bonus), and within those time constraints, they build an emotionally complex and sonically elaborate world. This chaotic, always-fluctuating, heavy music undercuts self-consciousness, bitterness, anger, and an unsettling self-confidence. It’s a record that easily lends itself to shoving or dancing (or, you know, both) before arriving at a shimmering, uncharacteristic come-down. Given how ambitious these 11 minutes are, it’s impossible to predict where they go from here. In an underground scene where guitar bands tend be one trick ponies, Urochromes’ unpredictability lends them a rare star quality.

[pluage-docters-go-brrrrrr]

Y'all, ratchet being the fukkin Ben Schwartz of cybertron and being in everything. 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳.

So I thought of this last night after watching a quick review of the Friday the 13th movies and it has been in my head since. (The video is by the youtuber chalupa. This is in tfp btw.)

So basically on cyberteon, after the war, there's this successful horror movie trilogy and the directors are thinking of making the final part of the series. They want to make the one character that has been watching from the sidelines the whole time. Then one guy gets the idea to get a popular figure to be that character. But the only popular figures at the time are political figures.

So they go to like Bumblebee or Arcee or something and their like "nah, the movie business isn't really my thing." But like they have Ratchet with them for some reason and he's like, "oh wow, being in a movie sure sounds interesting." So like the directors are like sure why not and make some adjustments to this new character to just make them Ratchet. Because Ratchet's smart and would figure the bad guys whole flow very easily.

So like they just have ratchet in here with seasoned actors and like 1/12 of the shit he does is like improvised cus the directors told him to just be himself the whole time. And most of the script was pretty accurate.

I have two scenes floating in my head at this point. So the first is the whole introduction of the new character thing and it's like a whole interview for like a talk show or something and like in the middle of the answer to a question the bad guy walks in and like he's murdered 3 people at this point and ratchet just goes like this:

(Can't draw the back of ratchet's head lol) Two seconds later ratchet just shoots the guy like 10 times.

The second is like the bad guy is thought to be dead because the girl main character stabed him 45 times and they all start walking away but then the bad guy gets up and so they all have to do a climactic turn around. And when they turn around ratchet's just like "fuck this guy" picks up a vase and like smashes it on the guys head. The bad guy falls to the floor and junk and and ratchet casually just does this:

So(off topic) the tf wiki page for tfp ratchet says he's from a small village outside of iacon or something so I'm spawning artistic liberties and saying the village is in vaproex. Thus making him Ratchet of vaporex, and I head cannon he looks more like someone from iacon than from vaporex so everyone just assumes he's from iacon. So when the credits are being made ratchet's all like "oh btw I'm from vaporex" and everyone's like "oh no we put iacon." But ratchet just like changes so it reads "Ratchet of Vaporex as Ratchet of Iacon" instead. They kept it because they were too scared to change it.

I shared this with @shroombat14 already and I thought it would be better to write it down in case I ever want to make a fic or comic about it. I'll probably reblog to add any new ideas to this idea dump. Maybe new visuals as well. 🤷‍♂️