#rage and hunger at 3pm because “it wasn't enough” or what-the-fuck-ever
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what if i don't want uncertainty, huh? what then?
#as always i am unreasonably frustrated that the chaos of existing can't simply be controlled by a strict set of rules#today's rage is the fact that APPARENTLY I can't expect the foods i eat to satisfy me the same amount every single day#nooooo it seems the amount and the composition of food i need changes from day to day in an unpredictable manner#i'm over here trying to eat healthier by incorporating fucking vegetable sticks into diet and what do i have to show for it?#rage and hunger at 3pm because “it wasn't enough” or what-the-fuck-ever#EVEN THOUGH when I try to eat more of the damn things i can't make myself do it#it's like 4 carrot sticks and 3 cucumber sticks and anything more than that and my brain goes 'ew spit that out; we're done'#i'm even more annoyed about the fact that there probably is a perfect ratio of nutrients and calorie volume that works for me#but there's no log file on this damn meat mecha i call a body#which means i have to figure it out the long way#as in by TRIAL AND FUCKING ERROR#i don't have time for that! i don't have the patience!#and even if i did i've already proven it's a joke because APPARENTLY my nutrient intake needs change every DAY#can you tell i'm hungry right now? i just want to scream#and DON'T tell me to eat something!#It's not the designated food time! if i eat now i'll be hungry later#and if i have to eat later that disrupts my sleep schedule!#now do you see why i'm so mad?
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