#queue and back again: a hobbit's tale

[criminalcve]

and for @redemptioninterlude, a story begins --

" Stop staring at the ears. " Hands smooth the cat ears sitting on top of his head. " Yes they're real, no, you can't touch. "

[criminalcve]

and for @fawncrest, a story begins --

" Keith, what's wrong? " Dark eyes focus, concerned. " Did something happen with Kiko? "

[criminalcve]

these tend to work better but hi. I'm lucky. she/they, 25+. may i convince you to steal my heart? maybe. but u can definitely steal the heart of any of my muses. this blog is a study on setting boundaries, scorning the gods, finding your place, the icarus effect, and deep magic. so why not stop by for a cup of tea? if u could pls reblog to give it traction thank u

[criminalcve]

and for @notfrsale, a story begins --

" Yes, I think you're cute. What did you think I was flirting with you for? Entertainment? "

[criminalcve]

" Of all the last minute decisions, this one is the best I've ever made. " Rhiannon admits, feeling her heart flutter hard in her chest when he kisses her hand. She's lightly draping her arms around his neck, smiling sweetly. " It'll be okay. We have each other, no? "

He smiles at the sight of their intertwined hands. It could be that their situation is not difficult, it's just unfamiliar. He had gotten used with someone around him taken the burden that he does not know exactly how to fully make the most out of what he can do . " It was a last minute decision after all " he laughs as he place a kiss on top of her hand. " I'm glad to hear that you don't regret it . Things will get better, we just have to work harder than we normally do. "

[nocompromise-noregrets]

five good things

time for a follow-up! things have improved a bit since I made the last one of these. Let's see...

Placebo were absolutely awesome, they played so many of my favourites, and my friend and I got almost to the front at one side so we could see pretty well too. It was utterly sweltering, and we had to queue for an hour to get out of the car park so I didn't get home until 1.30am and was utterly wrecked for the rest of the week, but it was so very worth it. I've adored them since they first appeared on the scene, and so many of their songs are woven into my soul; it was so good to see them again.

I had my doctor's appointment yesterday, and depending on the outcome of the blood tests I have to have in a couple of weeks (which may explain some of the other things that are bothering me - or they may just be further symptoms of Age-Related Loss of Plot, so we'll find out one way or the other) I ought to be getting onto HRT fairly soon. Which will hopefully sort me out, thank fuck for that. I used to be sunny-natured and happy, but I haven't felt that way for longer than I can remember - I want that back. And then if the HRT doesn't sort me where that's concerned, we can look at other solutions. Phew.

I have a four-day weekend this week, as I did two days at job number two last week (on top of the Placebo gig, it nearly broke me), so I've spent today chilling out and attempting to be less exhausted, having not slept particularly well for days.

I've finally finished (I think!) the reincarnation AU from @piyo-13's glorious artwork, so once that's beta'd I'll get it posted. Super excited about this one!

I treated myself to a couple of Hobbit Lego sets secondhand off ebay, having been inspired by @mastererestor's Imladris adventures (I'm still eyeing the Rivendell set but I want to work up to it, not having done anything but tiny sets for about 35 years) - I have Mirkwood Elf Army, with Thranduil and Tauriel, and Attack on Lake-town with Bard, Bain and Tauriel, so I have both of the bi widower dads :D :D :D and have made a start on the Mirkwood Elf Army, it has a catapult!

We watched the Full Monty TV series over the last couple of days, and it's all cheeky larks but the underlying tale of Horse falling through the gaping cracks in our deliberately austerity-filleted so-called welfare system is utterly, tragically heartbreaking and I cried a lot. Which I probably needed...

I still haven't been out on the bike, because the battery was flat when I went out there last week and it took us a couple of days to get it charged, but it's ready now and I'm getting it MOT'd tomorrow so I can tax it and renew the insurance. So that'll be the first time I've been out since last autumn, and it's only up the road but it'll do.

I'm rereading Fellowship and really enjoying it (it's been so long since I've had the energy for reading an actual book), and I'm also listening to the Andy Serkis audiobook, which is brilliant. He does all the voices (I'm only up to Gandalf telling Frodo about the Ring, so I haven't heard most of them yet) and it's just so enjoyable. Who knows when I'll have time to listen to the whole thing through, but whatever.

Right. That's enough for now, I think. If I can only get some proper sleep I'll be sorted...

[razanartuk]

about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

[criminalcve]

" It's a new book, yeah. Well, not new but new to me. It's called The Court Dancer. " She smiles warmly, opening the book. " How long do you have today? I could probably finish it if we have the whole day. "

"Hm. Probably. I don't think I got a lot of sun before I came here." Liam's life before his death is still a complete mystery, and what little he remembers after—he was confined indoors, for 'safety'. He's always happy to spend time outside, especially with friends. It perks up, leaning on its elbows to glance at the book Annie's brought today. "Yes please, I'd really like that. Is that a new book?"

[criminalcve]

[criminalcve]

[criminalcve]

[criminalcve]

" Yeah, most people are. " Ezra shrugs. " But that's like....the one who I was engaged to. "

( open to; m/f/nb ) ( muse; grace hughes. 21. fashion designer. bisexual/sub ) ( plot; based on this )

"Is that your ex?" Grace asked the other, glancing over their shoulder with a sight frown.

[criminalcve]

[criminalcve]

“ Hey, come on. Look at me. ” He knew this would be difficult, being in the limelight and dating anyone. “ We can make this work, can’t we? Is it really that hard? "

[criminalcve]

" I think we should make a deal. " Hyojin looks across the table at the other. " You're trying to make your ex jealous, I'm trying to piss off my ex-fiancee. Why don't we help each other? "

[criminalcve]

" Yeah. " It's hard to focus with how good it feels. He's close, he knows that, and he can only imagine Daesun considering the heat that was starting to spread over his chest. " I want to see you come undone because of me. " He comments with a groan, lightly dragging his nails down Daesun's skin.

criminalcve​:

The switch has him groaning. He was happy to tell Daesun everything, anything to make sure he knew he loved him. Every word was genuine and he wouldn’t be wanting to marry him if he didn’t love him. Fingers drag through sweat drenched curls, returning the kiss with hungry fervor. “ Look at me when you cum. ”

Daesun was focusing on the kiss, his hip movement somewhat slow. He let his hands roam over the mans chest while his lips moved against the other set of lips. With the males words, Daesun could only laugh. “Oh you want me to look at you?” He mumbled, nipping the males lower lip shortly. “Want me to look right into your eyes when I cum because of you?” He straightened his body some, watching his handsome man. “Will be hard to keep my eyes open though.” He moved his hips more, feeling actually somewhat close, hence his hands, that rested on Kitaes chest started to heat up.