#protective Jake sighhhh

[callmearcturus]

dirkjake AU: “engaged” as kids, reconnecting as adults

so I'm like p messed up lately and people have been like fucking amazing at humoring Arc But Underclocked, like yesterday on the Strilonde server, when I floated the idea for an AU in which, basically, jake and dirk meet when they are in elementary school and get “married.”

so Jake is a transfer student into this school, because his Gran moves around a lot, and joining a school midway through the year is always hell. he befriends Dirk, who is a quiet, kid with a lot of sketchbooks who sits under the tree at recess and reads Asimov and Dianne Wynne Jones. Dirk's quiet, and easy to be around for Jake and all his introversion and awkwardness. and no one really messes with Dirk, so Jake can huddle in his Weird Kid Aura.

ARC: but my pain addled brain is thinking of sad late-twentysomethings in stable but not super fulfilling careers and running into each other by chance /dreamy sighhhh @mimsiical: getting to know each other again after years apart ARC: by something ridiculous like a mutual friend having a party and it just happens to be the first both of them make it to MIMS: they go on friend-dates where they do things together to reconnect but it suspiciously resembles actual dating after a while but neither of them put a name to it ARC: and jake just thinking about being kids and how when he got teased about which girl he was gonna marry someday, he just grabbed dirk's hand and came up with something so they'd leave him alone way better to be paired with your best bro rather than some unlucky lass being pressured by her friends

ARC: jake as a transfer kid who just is not built for large groups MIMS: jake would just cry when he got overwhelmed, which is frequently prob got teased for it a little but dirk was very loyal and told them to leave jake alone jake's grandma makes him homemade lunches that he shares with dirk because dirk usually just gets the school lunch they would be such cute children and then theyre disillusioned adults trying to stay afloat in the world

ARC: (also hello to my narrative boner on how jake associates dirk and brobot and BGD with safety whatupppp) MIMS: (thats the best thing in canon)

ARC: no this all comes around to that THING where kids suddenly decide everyone has to get married and argue about and pair off with each other and jake is like "no i don't wanna" and when pushed further he takes one of dirks coloring markers and draws a black line around his finger and another around dirk's, and is like "there, now shoo" permanent marker ring that lasts like four days MIMS: jakes grandma: is your finger dirty? go wash your hands jake, clutching his hand protectively: NO this is my WEDDING RING @cityinthesea: alpha dave: what the fuck is that on your finger, little man dirk: i. i think i got married today? alpha dave: shit dude. did you at least sign a prenup. as a strider u gotta watch out ARC: alpha dave: what's the lucky girl's name dirk, pushing food around his plate: jake alpha dave, without missing a beat: that the transfer kid? nice. shy but i bet he'll be a breadwinner. good job. CITY: dave sends a snap to rose: cant believe this guy scored a man before i did rose: Dave, you've been dating the same troll for 8 years.

basically, it's fucking adorable but inevitably, Jake moves away again. very sad. but not the end of the story!

ARC: the whole point is: jake remembers using a sharpie marker and getting married to a boy at recess, who was his best friend

they run into each other a full 15 years later, grown up and with their own lives, but with recognition sparking like a live wire upon meeting again.

CITY: see the way im thinking about it i feel like jake would probably like forget, a bit? because kids are like that. distractable. esp if he moves around a lot, that has a whole slew of problems all their own but for dirk he remembers forever. probably a super important memory for him. baby's first big gay mem ARC: yes yes also dirk meeting jake again and remembering him as a very nervous kid, softening when adult jake shows up MIMS: all of dirks friends would immediately notice how he softens whenever jakes around roxy would zero in on it immediately ARC: who is this handsome dude melting the ice king

ARC: but if jake only remembers bits and pieces, think about dirk with the black band tattooed around a finger and his complete stopstill when he sees it

ARC: i have this Thing where i want a modern AU Dirk who wears fingerless gloves but not to be a douchebag, but its a brace for his hands, and he's an artist i mention this because glove dirk + tattoo dirk = dirk has a tattooed line around one finger CITY: people @ dirk thru the years: whats ur tattoo mean dirk: mumbles something about how tattoos dont need a meaning what if i just like how it looks how about that MIMS: dirk: jewelry but no hassle

ARC: dirk like "listen, it's... i know we were just kids and it didn't mean anything, but for me it helped me figure out some stuff. i know its weird." jake like "well then clearly it meant SOMETHING" jake like "I can't believe you kept it" which is inaccurate obviously, except in all the ways that matter MIMS: "that's kind of the definition of meaning something" ARC: dirk likes jake's company and just doens't want to make it weird jake reeling and telling him, "it's not weird it's just. important."

and then city shows up man

CITY: so they "marry" each other as kids im kinda jumpin off the idea of like. jake moving around a lot (because grandma english's work?? skaianet idek) and the idea of like. an introverted kid that moves places a lot. who learns to smile in the right places to get what he wants/make the transitions in and out easier. who is like. certainly not unhappy but is kinda detached all this preamble to say: jake moves back to [insert location here] after gallivanting around the world getting lost in chasing the adventures that buried themselves into his head, from reading those comic books, or playing pretend and wrestling in the schoolyard w that quiet kid who protected him but was also down to roll around in the dirt the marriage thing gets brought up as a joke, kids say the darndest things, werent those days silly, as they're reconnecting dirk: “i mean if you still wanted to” jake: “oh. um. im not really looking to. settle down or anything” “oh” “but, you certainly have grown up to be quite the handsomest of fellas” smash cut to like. banging. what im proposing is they start this friends w benefits situation because they’re both too skittish to revisit that time they had when they were kids because u Grow Up but they also reconnect in the afterglow. like bringing up how they were as kids. how they’ve changed. things that have happened in 10+ yrs apart. and skirting around the fact that after years they still are drawn to each other. jake noticing he doesnt need to like. be the upbeat adventure guy around dirk. because dirk knew him as a that introverted kid, liked him as that introverted kid something something something to spook the shit outta jake w not fully like. letting go of "giving himself an out" w dirk by keeping this arms length friends w benefits but also lets talk about our deep feelings, fears, things that hurt us growing up, things that we've grown to love things that made us happy inevitably they get married accidentally skipping dating all together

MIMS: Jake as the kid who learns to smile and make himself liked because he never stays long enough to have real friends is very very good

CITY: related want: dirk... idk. somehow showing that maybe he wants something more than a FWB/somehow giving jake the impression that he wants to move on from this (even tho thats proabbly the furthest thing from the truth) and jake just is like dialup noise no??? i was here??? first????????? ARC: god and the  idea of them talking around it no no they aren't dating, they are just having sex at four in the afternoon, then watching a movie together ont he sofa and talking about the romcoms dirk secretly enjoys CITY: even tho i wont date?????¿¿¿¿¿¿??

the concept at this point is basically that Dirk lives in this town and has a steady, if somewhat unfulfilling job. Jake shows up on a lark, they reconnect, and end up getting it on on the regular, with Jake spending a lot of time at Dirk's place.

ARC: dirk's day off, jake finds him having coffee with some other guy and maybe jake is an asshole and plies Other Guy with charm until jake gets invited to sit jake being fake as hell but charisma is max so it works and dirk's fucking pissed off later CITY: jake: "but i was here first" ARC: and maybe jake is charming to Other Guy, but he's absolutely crashing dirk's date CITY: god dirk would be pissed as hell seeing that because he knows that like thats not jake this charm bs ARC: "oh what, that wasn't a date, you two aren't dating" "no, jake, we pretty definitively aren't dating because someone crashed said date like the fucking hindenberg"

after that massive dick move on Jake's part, Dirk actually kicks him out for the night.

MIMS: jake casually sorta kinda moved in with dirk and dirks like ok. go back to your hotel this isn't fucking airbnb ARC: jake being kicked out and refusing to go get another hotel room and just waiting for dirk to allow him back in, that's my jam jake sleeping against the door and fucking falling when dirk goes out to head to work the next day ARC: dirk is going to work he just looks at jake and SIGHS and steps over him, leaving the door open MIMS: Jakes all "does this mean you forgive me" and dirks just like. Listen buddy I'm going to be late for work lock the door behind you ARC: if jake were a smart boy, he would make a nice hot lunch in dirk's kitchen and bring it to dirk later

MIMS: dirk trying to not be in love with Jake and going on dates is one of my favorite things tbh And jake is just absolutely not having it ARC: oh oh oh man like jake thinks this is Good, and like they share space and dirk's bed, so why is dirk stepping out???? but dirk is like ".... you asshole. some people want-- nevermind. i'll talk to you after work" and jake is liek "....... oh." CITY: Jake "wait this is mine I didn't say I didn't want it" english Later on a resigned conversation "okay. I get that this doesn't mean anything to you. And like. We said it wouldn't be serious. But you- That shit from when we were kids, maybe yeah that actually meant something to me. But even if it did I can't keep doing... Whatver this is forever. Especially if you don't- " Jake, blurts "I still want to get married"

MIMS: Jake "never actually defining what's going on in words and assuming its tacitly understood" english

ARC: also jake blurting out "you can't marry someone else!" and dirk like "/eyebrows. Someone else?" CITY: "Jake you can't be serio-" "Don't make me ask twice you horse's ass" MIMS: tbh dirk probably has a very hard time wrapping his head around jake actually wanting to marry him after feeling like he's getting toyed with

ARC: jake like "well what have wee been doing the last few months!" dirk: "I don't know, you've been paying for room and board with trade as far as i can tell-" jake: "oh, shut up. i meant it. did you not notice?" dirk: "you didn't say anything!" jake: "i thought i was doing a bang up job saying it at least once or twice a day!" dirk: "that your dick, not your words!" MIMS: dirk: here, i'll give you an example. "let's date officially." wow, so difficult to say

CITY: God my first instinct is always: make jake work for it But I also rly like the idea of them literally just Accidentally bypassing dating Even tho this shits been happening for months

ARC: okay okay what if jake is like "marry me then" and dirk's like ".... no! you're not-- I'm not just going to--" and then just storms off to the kitchen to pour himself like a shot while jake leans on the kitchen doorway and frowns at him "well, why not!" "give me a minute," dirk says, and pours another. "yes, because that will result in an infusion of logic and sense" and dirk flips him off

(god i hope someone else likes beligerent sexual tension like i do......) MIMS: are you kidding i love it CITY: I fucking love it??

ARC: "I'm not going to marry you because you drew on me with sharpie in elementary school, Jake." Jake waves at him. "You tattooed the damn thing on, don't sell me this bunk deal about you not being a man of sentiment!" "Also, it's just practical. You're a practical man. What if you get chicken pox finally and can't work for two months, who'll pay rent? Well, if we're married--" "No," Dirk says, and sits on the sofa and puts on the TV, just. Not having it. but he's not kicking jake out, and it's not genuine anger. so it's a game, sort of. and jake wants to win very badly.

MIMS: seducing dirk into marrying him jake makes a list of reasons ARC: gets one of those whiteboards you cna magnet to the fridge right writes a new reason on it every day dirk erases it every afternoon after work CITY: Oh oh oh Or There's two whiteboard markers One green and one orange Every time a green reason is written it's not long after an orange line of snark is added under Until it's like Filled At which point Dirk takes a step back And is like, out loud "what the fuck"

ARC: After cleaning the dishes after dinner, Dirk just laughing and taking a picture of it with his phone, shaking his head ruefully. "Start over?" MIMS: someone better take photos of this whiteboard for posterity ARC: SAME HAT WOW

ARC: but yeah Jake pulls his sleeve over his fist and wipes it clean-- "You better put that in the wash," Dirk opines-- and Jake just spins his green marker in his fingers for a moment, glaring at the board Then decisively darts forward to write something, caps his marker with flourish, and tosses it over his shoulder. "There. Your move, Strider, you obstinate old albatross." And obviously it says "Because I love you" in Jake's janky lettering. Fucking checkmate, asshole.

MIMS: cant argue with that logic dirk just goes silent but turns tellingly red jakes like "well?" ARC: jake half scared out of his mind, half pushing the same old game CITY: i cant decide if i think dirk would plant a big one on him or like storm out, ears red, because its so fucking cliche our life is not a shitty rom com jake, then storm back in and smooches him ARC: or just quietly says "Okay." MIMS: dirk can probably tell when jake's nervous, which helps

ARC: ppfff dirk storming out because Emotions Are Hard, and jake like "wait wait, dirk, wait" and then dirk's like "Okay. Yes." "Yes? As in--" "Yes, yeah."

CITY: i just like that the lead up of this is a lot of sex that is followed by after cuddles and murmured conversations catching up that messy inbetween relationship business where between the moments in bed theres a lot of like. cooking dinner. watching shitty movies. debates over things in the way u can only rly do w someone u trust MIMS: intimacy /jazzhands CITY: much intimacy intimacy in a way neitehr of them have rly had in their adult lives ARC: yes exactly, like they do some of that in the FWB period, but once jake fucks up the proposal, it's to the max dirk bossing jake into changing the bed sheets by derth of "I work an actual job, go use the damn washer" MIMS: eating breakfast together and texting each other about groceries and evenings in bed just talking quietly ARC: you know its serious wheny ou go to bed and you just sleep dirk tired from work and sleeping curled around a pillow,a nd jake touching the line of his spine carefully, not wanting to wake him

ARC: i like them being caught by surprise at how good they are at cohabitating its a nice thing MIMS: despite all the messy shit they put themselves through, they make a good team

ARC: the Pinnacle of this, to me, is them on the sofa, dirk freshly showered, their cleared plates sitting ont he coffee table, and dirk reclining across most of the sofa, his back against jake, tucked under one of jake's arms and jake mans the netflix queue and they don't talk at all. and dirk dozes off fifty minutes into the movie. MIMS: sharing space and not needing to talk curled into each other and enjoying a quiet evening

ARC: jake easing himself into saying it im moments liek that, when dirk is resting and asleep, just puts his mouth against dirk's hair and murmurs love you while he can't hear. anD THEN THEY GET MARRIED AND COME HOME AFTER A TRIP TO OSAKA OR AMSTERDAM OR WHATEVER and literally nothing changes the fucking end

MIMS: they go on honeymoon and backpack through new zealand CITY: jake: this is where they shot lord of the rings : DDDDD dirk: oh my god. MIMS: dirk: i hate those movies jake: i love them! dirk: i know. /sigh jake would take so many photos and be on a quest to take photos of dirk smiling

ARC: roxy, in the Best Woman's position: "see, I didn't even know you were dating" dirk sighs loudly