#prolly delete later this is personal and nobody needs to know I'm just having A Night lmao
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I've somehow managed to enter myself into a cycle of being clean for 2 weeks and then relapsing multiple times a day for a week and then being clean for 2 weeks and then-
#prolly delete later this is personal and nobody needs to know I'm just having A Night lmao#like. I'm proud of myself for being able to go 2 weeks without doing it but it would be nice to just like. chill out abt it yknow#like. it's not like if I just lasted longer I'd be fine bcuz I'd just relapse even worse if I kept pushing it off#but also it's not like letting myself do it earlier would help bcuz then I'd get complacent and just. do it a little every day all the time#so it's like. I'm fucked no matter what I do. me when my addiction is addictive#idk man I'm trying so hard not to do it again rn bcuz I relapsed already yesterday but fuck I wanna do it so badddd#I mean technically I already did it today but it was just going over the ones from yesterday so it doesn't fully count by my rules lmao#armchair speaks#tw implied self harm#tw sh#tw sh related
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