#probably the best thing i've ever written right now i'm super proud of this PLEASE REBLOG THIS OR REPOST IT SOMEWHERE IDK BUT IMPROUDOFTHIS

[sttarttsar]

The Redwood Tree

Today, I read a good book under the redwood tree. It was a book about the life around us and to adore it. I stay under the redwood because I am the book’s audience of nature. I am part of nature. I adore it. The tree was tall and mighty, eclipsing even the peaks of the other tallest lifeforms around him. Healthy roots allowed the tree to balance himself, although not to completely help him. He was a strong plant, firmly able and apt for a long life. Even without roots, he would be able to stand strong for years. Although without the nutrition of his roots, he would be a long forgotten corpse in the depth of a forest in nowhere. The hollow of the redwood was home to an elder owl. Many years ago, even before I came to the redwood, she arrived. She was a wise owl; one who emitted a spirit to the forest and its animals. The redwood always welcomed life into him, but the owl was special. The owl had a certain elegance to her; a glow in her mind. She could see what little others saw in the world: a glimpse of emotion. Not just any emotion, but of all, it was her fear. Times change, and so do the people; the magnates, the bloodthirsty, the otherworldly evils. The wise owl, the wisest of them all, saw a world burn before her at birth, a time she couldn't bear to remember. All she could see was a tall man in a dark brown suit, coming out of large vehicles in and out, and all she could see was the green in his eyes. The redwood’s hollow was the owl’s new safe space; a new niche, with whoever passes by being her new family. The redwood was a pleasant, welcoming figure. The figure I now sit under and lay to see the stars on. The figure that is like a father to me, as the owl also sees. He does not speak. But his towering elegance tells me all I need to know of him. The rustling of his leaves above in the autumn wind, some of them blowing around and piling around the ground. The scent of the dirt and the moss on the bark, piling up around the hollow where the owl lives, in an oddly harmonizing fashion. The creatures and substances around it, feeling in the distance a light crisp from a pond rich in its ozone and sea life. I once felt a squirrel run over my lap while laying under the redwood. He was a fun fellow for a bit, but he seemed in a hurry. I don’t know what he could have been in such haste for, but perhaps he was desperate to find something. Food? Water? Or perhaps the squirrel was simply on a run. Rodents are always on the move. To me, it gives them a specific angle. It makes me think of us humans; always on the move to do something, always prepared, always on the run, before one day we can’t anymore. Before one day, we’re too lost in our adventures to find our lives. The squirrel was a charming creature nevertheless. He was of the redwood. He was pure. The redwood truly yields the life of his forest together. Including me, a reader. I have told you of the book I’ve read, and how I have come to appreciate the redwood as the soul of this forest because of the book’s wisdom. But, in truth, it was not the book that taught me to search in a new dimension for life, but it was the redwood tree himself. He chants words of wisdom and yet cannot say any of them; he lets nature speak them. And if I know one thing from his words, it’s to the forest he shall return it. It being the doorway to a new dawn: away from the footings of technological despotism, from oleaginous sovereignty, from the torture us humans bring to these innocent creatures and life. But to his new leaf, in the sunrise of a new age, when he is gone.

[lyntergalactic]

20 Questions for Writers

i was tagged by the ever lovely @oakashandwillow

1. How many works do you have on AO3? uh... are we counting works i've orphaned over the years? if not, 16 over two accounts.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 41,118

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently, it's all star wars all the time, though there's probably going to be a one piece fic out of me soon. other fandoms i've written for include dragon age, naruto, and stranger things.

the rest of the ?s are under a cut to save space!!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(i promise you that) we're marching on | naruto fic, sakura-centric gen

the long and short of it | witcher fic, geralt/eskel, bonus fiberarts

the unexpected series | stranger things fic, steddie, rule 63!steve with surprise baby

quid pro quo | star wars: the clone wars fic, rex/echo, smut

the will to carry on | stranger things fic, abandoned wip, rule 63!steve

5. Do you respond to comments? i try to! i don't always have the spoons for it tho

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? surprisingly, it's not the fic that's all about grief and recovery. it's a star wars drabble, changing of the guard.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? the joke answer is quid pro quo. (because it's smut.) but most of my endings tend to be content or hopeful if not happy, so this is hard to quantify for me.

8. Do you get hate on fics? not as of yet, but given i write cloneshipping i'm honestly just bracing for it to happen at some point

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? indeed i do. i currently only have one smut thing uploaded, so idk if i can say anything for certain about trends, but given my wips... emotional sex and smut as character studies seem to be my thing.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? nope. not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope! thankfully, i've heard horror stories

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? i think one that no longer exists was once translated. (i had a sad habit of deleting or orphaning things i was less than pleased with when i was younger. i know better now.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? ahaha yes but none of it i'm going to mention by name. all my co-written fic happened in middle school with IRL friends.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? i'm a filthy multishipper this question is like asking me which of my hairs i like best

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? oh man. definitely the will to carry on and the couple of stranger things wips in my wip file. not that i don't love the stories anymore, but certain parts of the fandom annoyed me right out of any inspiration or desire to touch anything related to said fandom with a twelve foot pole.

16. What are your writing strengths? i like to think i'm good with characterization and dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? writing anything longer than 3k words max lmao though that has been improving lately and i have high hopes for the sev fic getting finished

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? there... there is a whole can of worms here that this question opens for me and i don't think anyone wants my ramble about dialogue, other languages, conlangs, dialects, and the effects of having been in anime fandom for so long so. this is not getting answered other than with a shrug

(unless someone wants the ramble in which case i will happily oblige)

19. First fandom you wrote for? teen titans cartoon when i was a wee thing. it was a self-insert fic that was less than a page in ms word, single spaced :')

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? this is such a cop-out answer but i genuinely don't think i can pick a favorite. maybe ordinal, just because i'm still super proud of having finished it and what i did with the characterization at missing scenes? but augh i want to put more here too

i'm tagging @bisexualdinahlance, @bilbosmom-belladonna, @cacodaemonia, aaaaand @cabezadeperro but no pressure if you're not game :> and if anyone wants to do it but isn't tagged /points to eyes /points to u

[griseldabanks]

1, 2, 7-10, 14, 17, and 23 for the Fic Writer's Ask, please?

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

Probably my Captain America fic Make Me Whole, which is about what would happen if Steve decided to save the Winter Soldier without knowing that he's Bucky. It's the kind of thing where, if you like this fic, there's a good chance you'll find some other fics of mine to your liking; if you don't like this fic, you probably won't care for most of my other writing either. And while it's the first of an ongoing series, it provides a fairly satisfactory ending in itself, if you don't want to read any more.

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

"Angst," "Alternate Universe," and "Angst & Hurt/Comfort." Yep, sounds about right! I love me a good AU, and I'm all about that angsty angsty goodness.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

I'm pretty pleased with the worldbuilding I did for Creta in my FMA fic of skulls and secrets. I went for "vaguely Italian" for inspiration, and also researched some real-world alchemists to rework into the story I wanted to tell. One of my favorite parts of writing that fic was writing Ed speaking Cretan, which he's good at reading but terrible at speaking, so it's kind of like he's translating each word separately as he hears it rather than understanding the sentence as a whole. For example: "I myself never seeing, never asking about either was. Alchemy—too many brains for this of mine head!"

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

From the first time I heard it, "Still Be You" by David Hodges sounded to me like a soulmate AU. I may write it someday myself (since nobody knows David Hodges, alas), but the trick is deciding exactly how the soulmate stuff works, and what characters it would be about.

9. How do you find new fic to read?

I have a backlog of fics I want to read from the past, like, ten years at least, so I'm all set XD (And what puts it on that list is usually either a recommendation from someone I trust or an author that I read one fic and liked, so I decided to go through all their other fics.

10. How do you decide what to write?

What grabs me and won't let go? What plot bunnies gnaw at me in the dark watches of the night as I try to fall asleep? What is such a good idea that it pushes past the insecurity and laziness so I end up writing it despite myself?

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

You know, the first thing that popped into my head was the fic my friend @dairogo wrote subverting the "there was only one bed" trope. She's probably the only one I'd trust to do that right XD

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

Now, that would be telling ;)

Uhh...most of the ideas floating around in my head are AUs, really, and a lot of them are ones with the potential to be popular if I ever get around to writing them, like the FMA/Firefly crossover I've been wanting to do for years. But I think I'll go with a Final Fantasy X fic I actually have all planned out but just too many other things I'd rather write first. It would be called The Path to Sin, and it's based on an FFX RP I did way back in the day that fell apart with no satisfying conclusion, but then I brainstormed the rest of the story with my brother one summer. It was super fun, and basically went from "just another summoner's voyage to defeat Sin" to a really epic alternate story of how Sin could be defeated for good. I don't even remember all the details, but it would make a really epic chapterfic...unfortunately, I feel like very few people would know/care enough about FFX to bother reading it, so the motivation to actually write it is pretty low at this point ^^'

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

After thinking about this too much, I'm going with my answer for number 8. I've never written a soulmate AU, but I kinda want to if I can figure out a really good story for it.

Fic Writer Ask Game

[danpuff-ao3]

23 and 43 for the ask game thingy please and thank u

Hello there! Thanks for the ask! :D

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

Answered here!

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

Ooh this is hard! Why must I choose between my babies?? I've participated in many a fest and prompt event. Orange Blossoms was an indulgence of flowers and poetry (for HP Flowers AND my birthday!) Lover Boy At Play is to this day the most self-indulgent bit of hotness I ever wrote, written for Kinktober 2021. In fact, I'm very fond of most of my Kinkuary & Kinktober works!

But in the end I think it really comes down to 2 fest works.

Collateral Damage was written for Draco-Ron Fest 2021. It was a headache and a half to create. (In fact my first draft got to 10k words before I scrapped the whole thing and started fresh.) (Version 2, which is what is posted, ended up at 16k!) It was such a struggle to get through, but in the end I had a product I was beyond proud of!

The prompt was great. Probably my favorite prompt I've ever seen. I won't share it here since the prompt itself spoils the story a bit, but if you're very curious you can find it at the bottom of the fic itself. A friend of mine left that prompt, actually! And the moment I saw it I knew it had to be mine. It helped that, because I was friends with the prompter, they'd be thrilled with certain plot points I had in mind. I'd never had a prompt inspire me to quite that level before. Self-prompts, sure. Prompts from others? Never! I am to this day incredibly in love with that fic. Which is pretty big considering it's not my OTP!

It was a great indulgence of angst and miscommunication and inner turmoil. While also having fun with the characters. They're such a mess! Draco super bratty and dramatic, and a fun blend of insecure and vain. Then Ron this charming and funny guy who is also very oblivious and temperamental. It's a more lighthearted, fun version of the enemies to lovers dynamic that I don't often get with Snarry. Much as I love it, my OTP can be much too much sometimes!

It does make me unsure if I should write Dron again, though. I did it so well already! I'm not sure anything I write can ever compare. (Though it's not stopped me with a certain other ship, so...maybe I'll get over that hesitance one day!)

A Matter of Time was written for Snarry Adopt-a-Prompt and was posted early January 2022. While Collateral Damage was a fun spot of drama, this was a tragedy. And while the prompt for Dron spoke to me right away, I had a harder time narrowing down AAP prompts, and even once I did I had to tinker around with what, exactly, I wanted to do.

It was a different sort of structure than I normally write. Alternating POVs as well as reverse chronology. And I had it open-ended on top of that! I got to indulge in a bit of outsider perspective, and a secret (taboo) romance. It sort of delved into this awful situation without ever really resolving it. Also, I am dang proud of how it ended. Wow. Talk about a knife to the heart. (Of course I'd be proud of that, haha!)

Also...can we talk about the smut???? Very hot. Few people talk about that. Probably because on the whole it's a very depressing fic and most people are caught up in how depressing it is, but gosh dang it, that smut was good!

Anyway...it was another challenge to write, though it feels less oppressive than certain other fics. If only because I took breaks to write a comedy at the same time (Welcome to the Family for Rare Pair Fest.) It lightened my spirits enough to be able to reach the end without too much of a migraine. And in the end, I had a story I was stupidly proud of. And I considered it my best work until I posted Contempt later that same year!

(Also, I know I was supposed to stop signing up for fests, but...my best works came out of fests!!!! I did not need that to click in my brain now, oh no.)

questions for fic writers

[rebeccccccaaa]

ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ

_________________________________

ғʀᴀᴛ ʙᴏʏ!sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you and steve hooked up once and neither of you can forget that night

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: smut 18+ minors dni plz, kinda rough? but of course major fluffy aftercare from soft boi stevie, bit of inexperienced reader and insecure reader

(accidentally written unprotected sex but this is fanfiction lmao plz be safe irl)

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: ive never participated in a challenge before and i think @honeysucklesteve is just the sweetest so hope you like it el! And congrats on 4k :T

__________________________________

“And the interesting thing about that, mind I add…” the words of your professor falling short because you can’t shake the feeling of his eyes looking at you.

You kept your head low fighting the urge within you not to look back. A couple nights ago you landed yourself in the bed of the infamous frat president Steve Rogers and to make matters worse, you both major in American Studies meaning you share all of your classes.

You didn’t have much experience with guys in high school so it wasn’t surprising when you had the same experience in college. What was surprising was the fact you spent a night in the arms of one of the most handsome men you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Steve Rogers was a huge catch. Teachers loved him, girls chased him,and guys wanted to be him.

You remember that night so vividly.

The way his hands fit so perfectly on your hips. The way his lips felt so hot against your own burning skin; and moved perfectly against yours. The things he whispered in your ear. They way he held you close when you fell asleep in his arms. The way you hated yourself the next morning when you snuck out. The way your tummy flutters simply because he’s looking at you right now.

You breathed out shakily before turning your head to find his eyes with yours; he looked away the moment you did shyly, very unlike him. Fuck he was gonna be the death of you.

“And that should be the end of the lecture. I’m gonna go ahead let you guys go a little early. Have a good weekend everyone and make sure to check your emails,” the professor gathered his things and left.

You packed your things quickly trying your best to avoid his gaze that you knew was still on you. Steve packed quickly too before walking hot on your tail, just about to call your name until…

“Hey, Y/n,” Bucky called out.

“Oh, hey Buck.”

“It’s the weekend and as usual the guys and I want to party tonight. But the dean said one more noise complaint about our house and we get on academic probation so we’re asking a couple of people who might wanna come to the club with us.”

Behind Bucky you could see Steve walking towards you two and your stomach sank. Bucky and Steve were best friends and you don’t know if Steve told him that you guys slept together last weekend. What if something happens again tonight if you say yes. Why are you even thinking that something could happen again? Steve Rogers is way out of your league it was a miracle that you landed a chance to be his bed warmer in the first place.

“I’ll see you for lunch, man,” Steve said to Bucky patting his best friend's shoulders. His eyes lingering with yours until you had to pull away.

“I don’t think I should,” you told him, walking towards the door.

“Come on, Nat told me you're quite the party animal and you left early last week I didn’t get to see you in action,” Bucky chuckled, walking with you. You didn’t leave early…

“Buck,” you looked at him.

“Please?” he asked. You exhaled sharply rolling your eyes before walking away to your next class.

“Is that a yes?” he shouted, making you turn around with a cheeky grin. You got to your next class and noticed Steve sitting in a new seat today, particularly the one next to the seat you usually sit in. None of his housemates or regular friends took this specific lecture so he usually sat in the very back corner alone. But today here he is.

His head snapped up when you entered the room. You hesitantly sat down next to him still avoiding his eyes. You set up your laptop on the small table as did Steve; both your eyes glancing at each other quite awkwardly until Steve finally interrupts the silence.

“You coming tonight?” he whispered.

“What’s in it for me if I do?” you said playfully.

“A repeat of the best night you’ve ever had,” he said cheekily.

“Oh, really,” you chuckled sarcastically as he nodded with an overly proud smirk.

“Probably not,” you answer his question.

“Seriously? Why not? I can pick you up,” he said.

“Steve,” you warned.

“What? Afraid you won’t be able to resist me?”

“You’re so full of it,” you said, making you both laugh.

“You were full of my dick last week,” he whispered.

“Steve!” you punched his side making him laugh hard enough for other students to take notice of your ruckus.

“Welcome class, we’ll begin the lecture in one minute. I’m just gonna pull it up on the projector,” the professor said rushing in.

“Please come tonight,” he whispered.

“Why are you obsessed with me?” you joked.

“Fuck off,” he chuckled.

“If I say ok, will you shut up for the rest of the lecture?”

“Maybe,” he grinned.

“Then maybe I’ll come,” you smirked.

Throughout the lecture Steve paid absolutely no attention whatsoever. Steve had been thinking about that night just as much as you had. The way your neck craned to the side a bit, reminding him of when he littered marks and bruises all over last week. The way you subtly bit your lip in concentration but all that clouded his mind was lust remembering how you looked so pretty from above when he was settled between your legs.

He wanted you again so badly. He wasn't going to lie, it sort of hurt him when he woke up and you weren't there. He thought maybe there was something between you two, god knows the tension was overwhelming that night. You weren't the most frisky woman he'd been with but you were sweet; slight innocence with your intimacy. He craved you.

Steve leaned towards you, his fingers twiddling with yours. You tried your best to ignore his advances despite how much you equally craved him. He ran his nose along your cheek and jaw and your breathing quickened inhumanly.

"What are you doing?" you whispered.

"Nothing, just relax," he responded. As much as he wanted to drag you out of class and fuck you so good, he knew you'd rip him a new one if he did. No matter how he'd make you feel.

"No, we're in the middle of a lecture," you argued.

"I'm not doing anything," he said humorously, you were not humored though.

"Steve," you scolded when he pressed a faint kiss under your ear.

You knew a guy like Steve was horny practically twenty-four seven, but you didn't take him to be quite clingy. Especially with someone like you. His arm wrapped under yours. His other resting on your thigh. His head tucked in the crook of your neck. It wasn't particularly sexual, but it was intimate. Something normal to couples, and you two were not a couple.

"Please come tonight," he whispered, “If not I’ll come over.”

"Ugh fine," you grunted, your voice breaking into a giggle because you did somewhat enjoy this unfamiliar attention.

Steve continued to sit next to you during the rest of your classes for the day absent mindedly teasing you, playing with your fingers, twirling your hair between his fingers, leaning his head on your shoulder while he held your hand. Like geez, take a girl out already.

By the time you got back to your shared apartment with two of your closest friends you felt conflicted. Why the sudden shift in Steve? You two weren't exactly best friends before, just two people who shared classes and accidentally slept with each during a drunken night at a frat party.

"Hey, everything ok?" Wanda asked you noticing your inner battle.

"Uh, yeah. Kinda. No," you said defeatedly making the girls chuckle.

"What happened?" Nat asked.

"That guy, that I… you know."

"Fucked?"

"Nat!" you said embarrassed.

"Go on," Wanda encouraged.

"Well, I never told you guys but the guy was Steve," you said shyly.

"What!" the girls exclaimed simultaneously.

"You're lying," Nat laughed.

"You really went from zero to a hundred," Wanda giggled.

"Guys stop," you whined.

"All day today, he's been like super clingy. Holding my hand and pretending he's like my boyfriend."

"Wait, I thought you liked him?" Nat asked, confused.

"I mean I do, but it's sudden and I'm pretty sure it's only because he wants to get in my pants again, you know?" you rationed.

"Awe, I don't think that's true. I've known Steve for a bit and yeah he sleeps around sometimes but he's not a giant dick. Doing that would be way too shallow, especially for Steve," Nat said.

“Yeah but don’t you think it’s weird?” you asked.

“Look did Bucky ask you about tonight?” Nat asked.

“Yeah, he did- how do you know that?” you asked, confused.

“Oh- Uh,” Nat paused.

“She asked Buck to invite you,” Wanda snickered.

“Why?” you asked.

“Well, you never go out with us and the last time you did we thought you just went home but apparently you were getting laid,” Nat cackled.

“Oh my- shut up,” you huffed before storming off to your room.

“Wait! Can you at least come with us tonight?” Wanda followed you.

“No,” you giggled.

“Please!” both girls said at the same time. As you closed your door with a grin on your face not responding.

Hours later you laid on your bed lowly listening to the soft rumbling chaos from your comedic roommates. You stayed in your not so sexy undergarments and not so sexy sweatpants along with a hoodie you stole from your brother before you moved.

You ate the junk you’ve stocked up on the past few weeks feeling a bit glum. It’s not that you didn’t necessarily want to go, you would love to spend another night in that gorgeous man’s arms but there’s absolutely no way Steve is gonna want you the way you’d like him too. Not sober.

There was a subtle knock on your door and you called out knowing the girls were probably ready to leave.

"How do we look?" Nat asked, walking into your room with Wanda.

"Wow, you guys look hot," you said sitting up.

"You think Vis would like this or is it too much?" Wanda asked sheepishly, she's had a crush on the foreign exchange student Vis for the longest time and had yet to make a move.

"I think someone's gonna have a lucky night," you wiggled your brows suggestively, making her roll her eyes and blush.

"What about you, still chasing Bryce?" you turned to Nat looked extra sexy tonight.

"His name is Bruce," she rolled her eyes.

"And yes, I am," she chuckled.

"You're so weird," you giggled, Bruce didn't seem to particularly be Nat's type but hey, no judgement.

"I heard he's got like a monster cock," you said.

"Shut up," she pushed you playfully.

“It’s always the nerds,” Wanda giggled.

"Anyways, are you sure you don't want to come?" Wanda asked sincerely.

"I'm sure," you smiled.

"Steve's gonna miss you," Nat teased.

"Yeah, I doubt that."

"Well, stay safe, cutie," the girls waved heading to the Uber that waited outside for them.

"You too!"

You sighed before grabbing more snacks to stuff your face with. A couple hours went by of sitting around watching nonsense on TV for a bit. You ate dinner that was far from fine dining but it was available before slouching on your bed until the late hours of the night.

You were practically falling asleep, tired and dry eyes glued to the screen of your small TV when you got a knock at the front door. You check the clock by your bed wondering if maybe either of the girls left their keys, but it wasn’t even midnight yet.

You clutched your phone walking hastily to the front door as quietly as possible creeping up to the peehole to see who would be your unexpected guest.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you swung the door open.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Steve retorted.

“My jamas,” you rolled eyes stepping to side to let him in.

“Seriously what are you doing here?”

“I told you earlier, you didn’t come tonight so I came to you,” he said, taking his jacket off.

“Seriously?” you tried not to smile, but the action gave you butterflies.

“You promised to come. I missed you,” he said walking up to you.

“You’re so full of shit,” you giggled, staring at his devilishly handsome grin.

“Come on, whatcha doing?” he said, grabbing your hand and taking you to the room. You three had a fairly small apartment and your light was obviously the only one on in the whole apartment making it easy for him.

“Well, before you rudely invaded my home, I was stuffing my face with all kinds of junk watching TV,” you said to him making him scowl playfully at you.

“Well, then let’s finish the rest of your junk food then,” he said laying on your bed. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the sudden shift in attention. Steve was a guy who could have anyone and he’s chasing you for some reason.

You weren’t a blonde bombshell with a perfect hourglass figure that made guys want you left and right. You had flaws that drew people away and you don’t think Steve remembers that night like you do. What if he hates your body? What if he thinks you're annoying and suddenly leaves?

“Everything alright?” Steve asked you.

“Uh, sorta,” you answered honestly.

“Come here, talk to me,” he said, opening his arms. You couldn't help your eyes narrowing at him.

“What?”

“Do you even remember anything from that night?” you whispered.

“Where’s this coming from?” he asked.

“Steve, come on,” you chuckled.

“What?”

“Do you just wanna fuck now? Make it quick so you can go back to the party-”

“Woah, who said anything about fucking?” he stood up towering over you making you suddenly feel really small and shy.

“I mean that’s why you’re here, right?”

“I came because I told you if you didn't go out with us that I was gonna hang with you. I didn’t say anything about sleeping with you. If you really want I can go home but I wanted to hang out with you,” he said sincerely.

“Oh, I- uh,” you stuttered; well now you feel like a dick.

“We can just sit and keep watching TV until you want to go to sleep and I can head out,” he said, sitting back down on your bed. You sat beside him carefully watching his movements. He kept his eyes trained on the TV for a bit before locking his eyes with yours. You turned away quickly hearing him chuckle before sudden movement escalated behind.

Steve grabbed you from behind gently and leaned back so you laid on his chest. You could feel the hard plains of muscles on your back. And the way his strong wrapped perfectly around your waist, it felt heavenly.

Steve’s jaw tightened from the hypnotizing scent of your shampoo. He remembered it from that night not long ago and he couldn’t get it out of his head.

He wasn't going to lie, since that night all he could think about was how smooth your skin was under his fingertips. How pretty you sounded when he was settled between your legs. How good it felt when your fingers carded through his hair. He wanted you so bad.

He wanted to wake you up between your thighs again. Ravish you once more before breakfast, hell eat you for breakfast. But when you weren't there sleeping as peacefully beside him like the night before, his heart tugged. Did he say something wrong? Did he do something wrong? What if he hurt you?

He gave you space, clearly evident you hadn't wanted to talk to him but those few days went by and the same lingering stares and shy glances came back again and he craved you in his arms again.

When Nat asked him and Bucky to invite you again out to party, he really wanted to be with you that night even if you didn't end the night naked in each other's arms, just being around you was enough for him. Fortunately here he is with you, with arms wrapped around your waist and Steve couldn’t be happier.

You looked so fucking adorable to wearing sweats and a hoodie; he wishes it was one of his own. You had fluffy socks on too that had dog faces on them and he swears his heart melted. What you two were watching was making you laugh and each chuckle or giggle that came from you was like music to his ears.

He couldn’t help himself when his lips pressed against the top of your head. Your body momentarily froze before relaxing again in his arms. Your arms laid over his and tightened so you could cuddle into him even more. Your eyes felt heavy and the feeling of Steve’s lips slowly reaching your neck didn’t help you want to sleep.

When his cool lips grazed your burning skin, you could feel your skin burst into chills. You practically shuddered in his arms and your face grew hot when you did. It all becomes suddenly overwhelming and you jump off on his lap turning to him with a distressed expression.

“What happened? Did I do something wrong?” Steve said worriedly.

“You did just want to sleep with me,” you mumbled tears forming in your eyes.

“What! No, that’s not it,” he panicked; using you was the last thing he wanted you to think he was doing, and wanted in general.

“Then what’s going with you? Ever since we fucked you’re suddenly attached to me, putting your hands all over me, pretending like you're my boyfriend! And I don’t understand why,” you said frustrated.

“I feel like your just using me or something-”

“That is the last thing I want,” he interrupted, his voice low.

“Then why are you doing this; Steve you could have anybody and for some fucking sick reason you keeping mocking me. Making me think I have a chance.”

“And you don’t think you do?” he asked, heart broken, making you scoff and turn away.

“Look, fine I’ll admit that maybe before that night I wouldn’t have made a move; but I’m gonna admit that I haven’t not felt something for you before,” he said, getting closer to you.

“What?”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since we met. And that night didn’t do shit to help me get over you,” he chuckled.

You crawled to him carefully looking into his eyes for any sign that he was being untruthful; you cupped his face gently.

“Are you drunk?” you whispered.

“Not one bit.”

You pressed your lips to his feverishly and Steve nearly moaned at the feeling. His hands grasped your waist firmly pulling you to sit comfortably on his lap. His hands crept under your hoodie holding you close.

Your hands rested on his broad shoulders holding yourself up as slowly leaned back onto your pillows. Your cold hands cupped his face as you deepened the kiss and his hand went to rest on your bottom.

With this new found position, his chest pressed against yours, his hips grinded up allowing you to feel all of him. Every pushing second you grew needier and whiny, practically clawing at his shirt to feel his skin.

"So needy already. And I've hardly touched you," he chuckled lowly in your ear.

He sat up nonetheless and stripped his shirt revealing his gorgeous physique that kept you up at night and infiltrated your dirtiest dreams. You brushed your hands all over his chest with your bottom lip between your teeth; Steve smirking slightly proud of the effect he had on you simply by having his shirt off.

"Come on, pretty girl. I wanna see you too," he's whispered before kissing you softly.

"Wait, I don't…" you didn't particularly feel very sexy and instantly became insecure about your body compared to Steve's.

"It's ok, we can cuddle," he smiled.

"Well, if I'm being honest I do want you. It's just, I just ate all this junk food and I'm not wearing anything sexy. I didn't shave and-"

"Hey, I don't care. You don't need to impress me or wear anything special for me. I just want you to look pretty sitting on my face and make pretty sounds telling me how I'm gonna make you feel."

Your body trembled at his words, arousal instantly flooding from you. His nose brushed against your cheek dragging along to your jawline before pressing kisses gingerly to your jaw and neck. His hands slowly lifted your hoodie and you raised your hands letting him remove your hoodie.

Your shoulders caved in out of habit, being topless in front of handsome men wasn't normally on your schedule; but the look in Steve's eyes, the look on his face holding a hungry and adorning expression made you more comfortable, reaching out to cup his face kissing him deeply.

You sighed breathlessly into the kiss as Steve's hands rubbed your sides. You pulled away momentarily only to put your lips on Steve's neck. Steve felt himself growing harder and needier to see you, feel you, pleasure you.

"Pretty girl, I need you. Lemme taste you, please," he whined.

He picked you up and laid down on your back to pull your sweatpants down your legs. You lifted your hips for him and he smiled cheekily at you biting his lip. Steve lifted your leg kissing the inside of your calf staring at with those hungry eyes.

"I still wanna see you sitting on my face, pretty girl," Steve said, pulling to him.

"Are you sure? I don't wanna crush you or anything," you whispered, making Steve chuckle.

Steve laid down assuring you that he wanted this and grabbed your hand helping you straddle his face. When you did Steve kissed the inside of your thighs playfully nipping and marking the sensitive skin making you gasp.

Steve wrapped his hands around your thighs bringing your center impossibly close to him, finally licking a long and wet stripe up your slit. Your moans were soft at first but when Steve started circling his tongue around your clit, you could help getting louder and bucking your hips grinding on his face.

Steve’s eyes were close relishing in your sex. You combed your fingers through his hair and Steve moaned loudly against your pussy. He dipped his tongue past your folds and that along with the vibrations from his beautiful moans, you head threw back moaning in pure ecstasy, moaning so loud your neighbors were definitely going to file a complaint.

“Fuck, Steve. Your mouth feels so good; shit!” you whined.

His tongue circled your clit again quicker this time and you bucked your hips, tightening your stomach and squeezing your legs as you approached your high. Steve kneaded the soft flesh of your ass lapping up everything you gave him.

Steve crawled from under you as you held onto the headboard, still standing on your knees, trying to catch your breath. Steve came up behind you rubbing your hips softly, kissing the back of your neck softly. He quickly rid the remaining of his clothes he still wore, his painfully hard cock slapping against his stomach desperate for some sort of attention.

You breathe softly, hyper focused on the cum that slipped down your inner thighs. Your legs lightly trembled from just his mouth you couldn’t wait to feel what his cock would feel like, filling you up like it was only a week ago. Steve sat beside you looking at you with a soft smile on his face, his hand softly rubbing the back of your legs and your bottom too.

He reached around to grab your hip and slowly turned you around settling you between his legs; your back pressed against his chest as it was only moments before, more innocently than now. His lips sucked and kissed your neck as his hands cupped and kneaded the soft flesh of your breasts.

Your hands rested over his own and your hips squirmed a bit for eagerness. The low growl from Steve because your hips grinded against his cock was incredibly arousing.

“Such an eager little slut ain't cha’,” he grabbed your hair.

“Fuck,” you mumbled as he pushed you forward on your hands and knees.

“Want me to fuck you? Remind you how I felt buried so fucking deep inside you? God, I think about you every fucking night; how perfect you were wrapped around me, how beautiful you sounded underneath me,” he whispered huskily in your ear making you shudder.

“Stevie, please,” you whimpered.

His hands rubbed up and down your back as he chuckled darkly.

“Oh, I’ve been waiting to take care of you again, pretty girl,” he kissed your back softly.

He wrapped his hand around his cock slowly and languidly pumping it. He couldn’t help but tease slightly circled his tip along your entrance pulling desperate whines from you. He finally reached his own breaking point, unable to stand not being able to feel you so he pushed his hips forward moaning loudly at how tight you felt around him.

“So good, pretty girl,” he moaned.

“Fuck, Stevie. Filling me up so good; you’re so big,” you sighed.

“Damn right, pretty girl. Taking my cock so well. Fucking made for me,” he grunted.

His snapped in and out increasingly quicker with each thrust; the vulgar sounds of his movements and skin slapping against each other echoed loudly in the room. Harmonizing with both your pleasurable moans.

Chasing both your releases, Steve’s hips jerked rougher and harder in and out of you making you practically shriek at the feeling. He leaned forward wrapping his hand around your throat before pulling you flush against his chest.

“Such pretty baby,” he bit your ear.

“Fuck! Stevie I need to come,” you whined.

“Yeah, you want to come all over my cock? Make a fucking mess?” he growled.

“Please!”

“Hold on, pretty girl. I’m almost there,” he sighed, throwing his head back and closing his eyes in pleasure.

You whined and whimpered, tears brimming your eyes from that overwhelming feeling. You couldn’t help but clench hard around his cock desperately holding back for your release.

“Fuck, do that again, pretty girl,” Steve gasped.

“God, yes. I’m close, pretty girl. You ready to come?” he pulled your head back to look at your face.

Tears fell inelegantly down your cheeks, sweat lined your forehead, your chest moved rapidly up and down; to Steve, you looked ethereal.

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Let go, pretty girl. I gotcha,” he whispered against your lips.

Your eyes rolled back as your body shook against Steve’s, releasing onto his dick profoundly. Steve swallowed your louds moans, roughly pressing his lips to yours, moaning himself. You clenched hard around Steve one last time feeling his throbbing cock shoot hot ribbons of cum, coating your walls.

When you eased your way slowly down from your high, Steve laid you down gently pulling out to see his cum mixed with yours spilling from you. You looked so fucked out breathing heavily, whimpering at the loss of Steve inside you. He wanted to, but held back from taking you again. But not wanting to hurt you, he treaded towards the bathroom and turned on the water to run you two a hot bath. He picked you up gently pressing kisses all over your face and neck before planting one delicious kiss on your lips; your hands reaching around his neck to deepen it if that was even possible.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, coating your arms with soap to wash you. You laid against him with your eyes closed desperately trying not to fall asleep in his arms.

“I didn’t hurt you?” he asked softly.

“Mh-m,” you shook your head slightly with a blissful smile on your face.

“Good,” he wrapped his arms around you tightly, kissing you passionately.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, barely audibly.

“For coming to hang out with me tonight,” you chuckled. Your eyes felt too heavy, simply remembering the way he carried you carefully back to your bed and held for the rest of the night.

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison​

@buckybarnes101​

@l-sofiamia-l

@pluto-grl

@partr1dge

@stefans-wife

@cordeliaswhore

@fleurlovesbucky

@wandanatasha0720

[letitrainasunnyday]

hi ! I'm kinda new to the bill hader fandom (I've started liking him because he'll be Richie on It Chapter 2 and I looove It) and i've been following you for a while so i know you like him too... and i was just wondering since when do you like him and what could i watch of his. Tahnks!

Hi there! I can’t believe I’m getting a Bill question, this is exciting stuff! 

I also love that more people are starting to appreciate him now that he’s absolutely going to SLAY as Richie Motherfucking Tozier because let’s be fucking real for a second we all know there is only one man capable of doing justice to Trashmouth and that man is Bill Hader. 

I will not be taking questions at this time. 

Anyway, the thing with me and Bill Hader is one of those funny things where I actually liked him before knowing who he was. 

Let me explain. Once upon a time I saw a movie called Adventureland, which, if you haven’t seen, I absolutely recommend: it’s hilarious, it’s got an amazing 80′s bops soundtrack, and it stars Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart, and the far more amazing other Kristen, Kristen Wiig, who I love with my entire heart and my entire soul. And also Ryan Reynolds is in it. And, oh, did I mention? Bill fucking Hader. So I saw this movie way back when I was going through my “I love Jesse Eisenberg and all of his indie movies” phase and my first immediate thought upon watching it --other than the music and how funny it was-- was, oh, this couple that runs the amusement park is fucking hilarious. Look at them both!! Legends!!! And I fell in love with them. 

They were Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader. Except I didn’t know they were Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader. Yet. 

So anyway years later I got into Brooklyn Nine-Nine and I was like HANG ON A MINUTE this Andy Samberg guy... I know this guy... He’s the guy from “I’m On A Boat” so I looked up “I’m On A Boat” again and I was like OH BITCH!!!! This is from Saturday Night Live!!!!! 

(I had seen an episode from Saturday Night Live way back when Fun. was the musical guest because Fun. used to be my favorite band.)

So I started watching SNL clips on YouTube and stumbled upon a beautiful sketch. The most amazing sketch you’ve ever seen in your goddamned life. The funniest shit I’ve ever laid eyes on since The Life of Brian. I was crying, doubled over in laughter. This was The Shit™. 

It was Stefon. 

And then I put two and two together and I was like WAIT A MINUTE THAT’S THE GUY FROM ADVENTURELAND. 

So long story short I saw every SNL episode he was in and he very quickly became my favorite SNL cast member of all time, followed very closely behind by Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg and Fred Armisen. 

I just love Bill Hader. Saying I love him is an understatement, but I just really, really do. He’s pretty much the funniest person I’ve ever known, and makes me laugh constantly. Like, every time he opens his mouth I’m in stitches. And he’s genuinely a Nice Guy. Really, he’s super sweet and kind and you can tell he’s just an honest guy. He’s a Solid Dude™. I would sell my soul for this man. 

SO HERE’S WHAT TO WATCH OF HIS: 

Adventureland: I’ve just told you about it. 

(SNL) Stefon: you’ve probably heard/know about him by now. Arguably Bill’s most famous sketch, which he co-wrote with the equally hilarious John Mulaney, who, in my honest and humble opinion, is the best stand up out there right now (check out both of his specials on Netflix) and also the famous creator of the infamous “Salt And Pepper Diner” bit. It’s my favorite SNL sketch, and I hope you love it half as much as I do. 

(SNL) Herb Welch: also written with John Mulaney, he’s an old reporter who hits people with his microphone. Just please watch it. 

(SNL) Vinny Vedecci: I can’t really describe it well enough for you to understand its brilliance. YouTube it and I swear you will not be disappointed. 

Then there’s a few other sketches which I love of his, like Kissing Family, or Hollywood Dish, or The Californians. Basically any sketch where it’s him, Kristen and Fred Armisen is comedy gold. Also, Laser Cats. 

The Skeleton Twins: one of my favorite movies of all time, and it’s 90% because it stars both Kristen AND Bill as estranged twins who both try to commit suicide and I have cried and laughed with this movie and it is brilliantly written and beautifully acted and their chemistry is the most magical thing I’ve ever seen and PLEASE WATCH THE SKELETON TWINS IT CHANGED ME.

Then there’s movies like Superbad, and Trainwreck, and Hot Rod, which are also great. So check em out. 

But here’s the big one...

BARRY: it is the best shit on television right now. Or, one of the best things, for sure. Bill co-created it with Alec Berg and he directs, writes and stars in it and has won 945384 well-deserved Emmys for it and if he doesn’t win them again this year I will fucking riot. It’s a show about a hitman who wants to be an actor and it’s dark and dramatic but also hilarious and I am SO PROUD of Bill for the beautiful work he’s done of this show. Really. It’s so good. It’s so fucking good. Watch Barry. It’s what Bill Hader deserves. 

Also, It: Chapter 2 which I am VERY EXCITED ABOUT and low-key high-key really expectant about Reddie because PJ and Bill are amazing together. 

[vldsupernovabang-blog]

What are your best tips for managing the full 50,000 words? I really want to participate, but I've never written something that long and I'm worried about whether I can complete it or not.

Ohboy.

Okay.

Um.

Wow.

So I’m going to start this off with a bit of my background in writing: I started writing when I was in middle school, and started fanfic then too, but high school just took up so much time and effort that my hobbies fell away in the sidelines. Now that I’m in college I’ve taken up fics again, and... Man. It’s been a journey.

Through high school, it took me 4 years to find the time and motivation to finish a 66k word story.

Right now, my fic for the general vbb (another voltron bang with a 5k min wordcount that started my entire downward spiral into hosting bangs) is sitting at about 120k words, and counting, in about 4 months.

And I can tell you I have absolutely no damn clue how this happened.

Except I kinda do. Because I’d never been involved heavily in fandom before. I created content, some, but I mostly consumed, and I simply observed. I didn’t interact. But when I joined the vbb I also joined the discord server they had set up and I can’t even begin to name all the amazing people I’ve met.

That 120k story? That started not because I’ve had some grand plan of a fic hidden away, no. That started because someone in the discord said: “hey let’s do a writing sprint!” followed by someone’s reply: “a what now” (for context, a writing sprint is where a everyone determines a set time and focuses purely on writing, and at the end, everyone shares pieces of what they got done and feeds off of each others’ validation). And then I just... Sat down and wrote. I picked really basic thought, something that might be a little challenging because I’d never tried it before, and I chased that idea down until somehow it blossomed into something bigger. I let it happen.

So, really, my best advice, is find people to support you.

If that means joining the discord server we’re probably going to get set up (no one has responded ‘no’ on the survey to my knowledge, yet), then go for it. We’ll help. We’ll scream with you about writing blocks, or we’ll panic about deadlines with you, or we’ll gush over the fact your artist is super damn talented and all that Jazz.

Because writing, let’s face it, is really hard. It’s one thing to know words, and it’s another beast entirely to bend them to your will. It takes effort and practice and determination. But you know what? Other people can help you with those things. Because when you’re stuck on a scene and can’t find the right words, others can help you find them, and even more so can help you smooth out the roughness when you’re not sure how one thing flows to another. There are people, like you, who have developed their skills and picked up things here and there and can help guide you towards new strengths in your writing. There are people who can remind you that you’re doing a good job--tackling a monster of a challenge like this is proof enough of your ambition.

As a writer, I can always give more technical advice: pick an idea that doesn’t run itself into an ending, find ways of expanding or adding detal; use extra scenes to establish foreshadowing or character development; build the world you’re writing in, add scenery, add image.

But honestly? I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the vbb server and klance klance server. Because as much as I get shamed for the fact I typo literally every word I’ve attempted, and as much as we argue about whether or not pineapple goes on pizza, I’ve learned so much from them, and hopefully I’ve left a lasting impression on some of them too. But above all else: they keep me going.

It’s one thing to see a fic grow into itself over time on AO3, but... You can’t do that with a bang, now can you? But what you can do is find people who want to see you grow into the writer you want to be, and are willing to support you through that.

That all being said, while I don’t discourage you from applying (by all means, please do), I also suggest you acknowledge the intensity of this challenge. 50,000 words is kinda a lot. A lot a lot. It’s not an easy task, but damn if it isn’t satisfying.

So if you’re going to join the bang, make sure you take a moment to think about what you’re doing. If you’re intending to write for the sole purpose of participating in the bang because it’s a cool idea, I’m not sure if you’re approaching it correctly. You should be joining because the bang is a way to hold you accountable for your own personal goal. You should join because you want to see if you can do it, if you can crank out 50k words of fanfiction all for the sake of saying, with absolute pride, I did it.

That’s why you should join the bang.

Not for the theoretical fame, or the connections, as much as those are both great things.

You should join it for you.

Can we help you try to reach that 50k wordcount? Sure. But the reason you aim for 50k words isn’t because it’s a requirement on a tumblr page somewhere. The reason should be that you want this. Writing in any form will only ever belong to the author. They can sell their words, and they can sell their stories, but the bits of their soul that they’ve poured into each sentence will always be theirs.

So a summary? We can help as much as we can to put you in the best position possible to be able to write your best, but ultimately, whether or not you finish this project depends on you.

And I know that’s not really an answer, and I’m sorry. But the best I can give you really is something that applies to almost everything you do, not just writing: aim for something because you strive to be better. It’s not for the fandom, and it’s not for the friendships, and sure as hell ain’t for any of us. It’s for you, and it’s for the person you want to be someday.

And if that future you that you aspire towards is a you that kicked ass in this bang and managed a 50k+ monster of a story? Then don’t let anyone stop you.

I wish you the best of luck, whether or not you decide to participate, and if you don’t, I hope you keep writing, and I hope you keep moving forward, and above all else, I hope you are proud of who you are.

- Sesa