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nygmobblepot-trash · 2 years ago

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Oswald has made a lot of bad choices in life. One of the biggest being freeing the Riddler. It isn't until Riddler complains of no one understanding him that sends him and Oswald in a drunken spiral. The only question is, who or what will come from this spiral? Will Oswald be able to reach Edward before Riddler cements his place as victor?

AN: I really hope people like this and it feels realistic. I feel like this how the big fight between Os, Riddler, and Ed would go. Also please watch the scene from s4ep14 where Oswald frees the Riddler. A lot of this mirrors that scene. I thought it would be poetic.

@angelhannah wanted to be tagged so here you are. 💓

Two men busted through the doors to Oswald Cobblepot's mansion. The taller one who entered the space first was taking extremely fast complaining about several things. The most important one being that no one understands and will never understand his genius. The shorter one slowly followed behind. He paid no attention to his partner ranting and made his way to the bar. A trail of water was left behind as the rainwater that clung to his clothes slid down his black coat and hair.

"Oswald you're making a mess." The taller man scolded while hanging up his wet hat and coat that were annoying an shade of green.

Oswald mumbled, "It's my house" as he lazily grabbed the first bottle he saw. Which happened to be an expensive bottle of whiskey. Riddler was too far away to notice Oswald staring at the bottle longer than normal. Nor did he notice the pained look that painted his face.

Riddler slowly approached the bar as Oswald slammed a glass against the counter. He watched with fear as Oswald filled the glass to the brim.

"Um that's a bit much, don't you think? That's several servings and you've been drinking all night." Riddler anxiously eyed the glass.

"And you haven't had a drop. It's your drink, time to catch up." Oswald pushed the drink towards Riddler.

Riddler frowned as whiskey sloshed over the rim of the glass and onto the counter. He pursed his lips as he grabbed the bottle. His thumb slowly traced the gold lettering which told the name and alcohol percentage.

"Amrut. 60 percent alcohol volume." He mumbled to himself.

"Congrats you can fucking read." Oswald sighed impatiently and yanked the bottle way.

Riddler frowned as he thought, 'Amrut. I know that name. Why? Amrut.... wait...'

Suddenly Riddler's eyes lit up. "Oswald that's a thousand-dollar bottle, right?"

Oswald huffed. "I don't know. Probably."

"Well for something so expensive maybe you shouldn't spill so much." Riddler gestured to the mess.

Oswald rolled his eyes and raised the bottle to his lips. Riddler watched silently as Oswald tipped the liquid into his mouth.

Riddler lasted only 6 seconds before yanking the bottle away. "Jesus Christ Oswald! Can you go one night without trying to kill yourself by alcohol poisoning?"

Oswald was hunched over facing away from Riddler gripping the side of the bar. His eyes were tightly shut as he tried to steady his breathing.

"Stop pretending like you care." Oswald enunciated each word angrier than the last.

"Will you just go to the bathroom already?! Throw up and you'll feel better." Riddler reached over the bar and grabbed Oswald's shoulder to shove him away from the bar.

Oswald shoved him off and screamed, "I won't feel better! I'll never feel better!"

Riddler stared shocked for a moment before retracting his hand. He settled on the bar stool and silently stared into the glass Oswald had put out for him. "Whatever," he put a gloved hand around the bottom of the glass. "Batman should be here any minute to take us away to Arkham, spend your final moments of freedom how you please," he spoke and took a small drink of the whiskey. Riddler immediately doubled over coughing. "How did you drink so much and not react to it at all?"

Oswald slowly turned his head towards Riddler's glass. "Oh. I forgot the ice." He mumbled quietly.

Riddler furrowed his brows. Normally when Oswald starts screaming he doesn't stop.

Oswald reached down below the bar into the tub of ice. He grabbed a handful of ice and practically threw it down into the glass. Liquor splashed everywhere.

"Aa-! Oswald!" Riddler yelled as he jumped away. "What is your problem?!"

Oswald sneered. "You. You are my fucking problem."

Riddler huffed as he tried to dab away the alcohol away from his green suit. "Of course. Always blaming me for your problems." He ripped his gloves off and threw them at the bar.

"No, I can take responsibility. I have in the past but you never admit to your side. You're a God damn coward and you always will be."

Now it was Riddler's time to yell. "I'm the coward?!" Fine, I'll play your childish game." Riddler stomped to the bar and picked up the glass of whiskey. He didn't react as ice and liquor spilled over the side.

Oswald rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and the last sip you had went so well. Besides I wasn't referring to-"

Riddler shot back the drink in a way Oswald had never seen. He slammed the glass down on the bar. Ice clattered around the cup.

"Wow, you sure showed me." Oswald taunted sarcastically.

"Shut up and give me something to chase it with." Riddler spat.

Oswald bent down and rummaged around for a bit. After a minute he stood up holding a bright red pop can. "I don't have anything." He answered as he pulled the tab.

"You're so funny." Riddler hissed as he yanked the can from Oswald. He quickly drank half the can. It didn't do much to take that awful taste in his mouth and only made the feeling in his stomach worse. That wasn't even the worst of it as he noticed the room start to slightly spin. Riddler grabbed onto the bar for support.

"Damn, that hit you faster than I guessed." Oswald laughed.

Riddler was about to lie about his current state until he saw something in the corner of his eye. Someone in some boring gray suit he hadn't seen in years. Riddler quickly shot his in the direction of what he saw.

"What? Is that stupid bat here already? Hey jackass! You don't have to do your whole running around in the dark shtick. Can we just skip to the part where you tie us up and we wait for Gordon and his alcoholic dog?" Oswald whined.

"It's not him. I thought I saw someone else," Riddler sighed.

"I see you're going to keep stalling," Oswald said annoyed.

"I'm not stalling," Riddler pressed.

"I wasn't calling you a coward. You're the one being used as a shield so he doesn't have to deal with any of this shit."

Riddler furrowed his brows. "Oswald, what the heck are you even talking about? It's just us here."

Oswald, at a speed Riddler didn't even know was possible for Oswald, reached over the bar and yanked hard on Riddler's tie. "As much as you want to believe he's gone, he's not. You may rarely let him out but I know he's still in there." Oswald stared through Riddler which only confused him more. "When we got here you were bitching about how no one understands you, no one truly sees you. How fucking dare you." Oswald's voice broke.

"Oswald-" Riddler started to speak.

"No! Shut the hell up. I have listened to you all night. For once you're going to listen to me. I see you. I know you better than you know yourself. I know you kill people to show you're better than them. I know Ed keeps newspapers that detail your actions not because he's proud but because it makes him sick."

Riddler's vision started to blur. The situation was starting to get out of hand and he needed to take control so he grabbed onto Oswald's arm. "That's enough." He tried to say in a serious tone but his words slurred.

Behind Oswald, someone else spoke. "Huh. You've never had this happen to you before."

Riddler blinked hard and the figure was gone. "Don't talk about him! He's gone. I killed him! I am the victorious one."

Oswald clenched his teeth. "You don't care about anyone. It isn't possible. You've told yourself that caring is a weakness. That's how I know he's here. He doesn't like me drinking too much. He always comes to bail me out when my choices catch up to me." Tears started to form in Oswald's eyes, but he continued. "I haven't seen him in years but I see glimpses. The way you linger in a room like you want to say more but you swallow the words. The way you reach your hand out to comfort me but always retract it."

It was then Riddler heard a God-awful ringing and that voice. "It sucks to lose control. To have someone make choices for you."

"I'm not losing control!" Riddler shouted.

Oswald slightly loosened his grip on Riddler's tie. His jaw fell slightly. "You sound like him. It's been so long but I remember when he was still fighting you. How he begged to not be you anymore. How he argued with me and to the air. But it was never the air, it was you haunting him."

Riddler's eyes widened "Oswald don't!" He warned.

"You've realized it too! Here we are again, my dear friend." Oswald spoke with malace.

"Please." Riddler whispered.

Oswald smiled sadly. "Yes beg as he did! Beg as he did before. You didn't kill him, Riddler. I did. I was so angry about how he chose you over me. How he tried to kill me. Then he dared to choose that woman who he claimed to know him. He was right. I was selfish and wanted revenge. I understood enough to hurt him. I was wrong. I fucked up that day. I chose wrong."

Oswald's tearful face started to fade along with the world around him. The ringing turned into a low buzz. The only clear thing was Edward Nygma. He held the same bottle from earlier. He studied it closely and ran his fingers over the words as Riddler had done earlier. "I bought this for Oswald when I worked for him. It was the first thing I bought with my paycheck. I didn't plan for this. I wonder if he did, it would be poetic."

Riddler grabbed onto Oswald desperately. "Please. Please, don't do this! You were right to choose me. Look I've treated you unfairly but you deserve better. I get that now."

Oswald blinked away tears. "What was it I said? It's been so long..."

Suddenly Riddler remembered the knife in his pocket.

"I see the other you, the one's name I wouldn't speak..."

Riddler's hand shot into his pocket where he quickly found the pocket knife.

"...but because he's earned it and because I need him..."

Riddler slowly removed the weapon from his pocket.

"..I'm saying it now..."

"Last warning," Riddler said through clenched teeth.

"I need you."

"Hurry and say it!" Ed shouted.

Unfortunately, no one heard as Ridder clicked open the knife and plunged it into Oswald's chest.

Oswald gasped and stumbled backward.

Riddler breathed hard. "You made me do that. This is your fault, I warned you! I told you I'd never go back and be weak."

Oswald slowly looked down at his chest and began laughing through pained gasps of breath. "You never learn, do you?"

"What?"

Oswald slowly approached and grabbed Riddler's face. "Your bullet didn't keep me dead." One of Oswald's hands dropped as Oswald continued to struggle to breathe. "This tiny blade... won't finish the job either."

Riddler removed Oswald's hand. His other self was nowhere to be seen and the ringing was gone. Riddler smirked. "Yeah I don't know about that. There's no one here to call for anymore. Deep down I knew that if I wanted to become my full self I'd have to kill you. I never finished the job because I thought it would be fun to watch you struggle. It was always going to end up like this Oswald."

Oswald sunk to the bar. "You seem to forget the only reason you're here is because... I allow it." Oswald gritted his teeth but spoke through the pain. "I freed you and...now I'm going to imprison you again. Oswald made his way out from behind the bar.

Riddler eyed the bottle Ed was holding earlier. "I think this conversation is over, Oswald." He grabbed the bottle but somehow Oswald faster and held onto him. In a panic, Riddler swung the bottle.

"I need you, Ed!" Oswald shouted through bloody teeth.

The whisky bottle slipped through Ed's fingers. It crashed to the floor. The sound caused Ed to grab Oswald and hold him close.

Oswald hissed in pain.

Ed frowned feeling the wetness on his hands. "Oswald why are you wet?"

"It was raining you idiot." Oswald sighed in relief. "Welcome back."

Ed looked at the shattered glass beneath them. "I almost did something bad, didn't I?"

"Yeah about that..." Oswald whimpered. "As much as I am loving this embrace you're pushing the knife further in."

"Oh!" Ed jumped back and it was then he finally noticed the blade. "Oh, dear." Ed frowned. Ed frantically looked around for something to help the situation.

Oswald's body wobbled. "I still need you if I want to stay upright, Ed."

"Right, of course." Ed stood on Oswald's side.

Oswald grabbed Ed's suit jacket like a small child would as he still struggled to stay standing.

"Uhm," Ed wrapped one of his arms around Oswald to stop Oswald from leaning. "this better?"

"Yeah." Oswald answered weakly. "Thank you."

Ed led Oswald to the living room and laid him down on a black couch. "I'm going to call an ambulance. I probably pierced your lung. It's not fatal currently but we should get you to the hospital before that changes."

"Wait." Oswald grabbed onto Edward. "Don't leave me. Not when I finally got you back."

Ed sighed annoyed. "We can talk later. I know you think you're unkillable but I assure you that you can die."

"I'm fine!" Oswald grabbed the knife and ripped it out of his chest.

"Are you insane?!" Ed shrieked.

As Ed panicked Oswald grabbed him. "I was faking it, Ed!"

"You what?" Ed hissed.

Oswald threw his hands up in defense. "Hey, you should be happy I'm not hurt! Besides, do you think I would ever trust Riddler? That psycho stabs me randomly because he desperately needs to convince himself that he isn't weak."

Ed collapsed to his knees. He reached a shaking hand to Oswald's chest. He moved part of Oswald's jacket to the side to follow the hole left from Riddler's knife.

"Eddie I told you I'm fine. I have a vest on." Oswald tried to wave Ed off him but Ed held on tightly.

"Be. Quiet. Oswald." Ed commanded his voice still drowning in anger.

Oswald rolled his eyes as Ed undid several buttons of his white dress shirt. "You see the vest now?"

"What kind of vest is it?" Ed asked slowly.

"Why the fuck does that matter? I don't know. Bulletproof."

Ed took a large and long breath in. "And did you get shot?"

"Oh fuck you. If something can stop a bullet then it can stop a fucking knife!" Oswald yelled.

"No Oswald, no it can't. Kevlar is for bullets. Aramid is for sharp objects like knives."

"Big fucking whoop. I'd know if I got stabbed." Oswald stood his ground because he is very stupid.

Ed's eyes shot up from Oswald's chest to his eyes. Oswald felt his heart jump a beat as his face grew hot, he realized Ed had practically undressed him and was now fussing over his health.

Unfortunately for Oswald, Ed had other plans and rammed several fingers up to the hole in his vest.

"-Ay! I'm sure there's a bruise there you jackass!" Oswald hissed.

"A bruise doesn't bleed on the outside of your skin." Ed spoke as he showed Oswald his fingers.

Oswald put a hand over his wound to stop Ed from further violating it. "How the fuck would you know? You didn't even look at your fingers before you showed me. Always so sure of yourself."

"Really? So if I turn my hand around I won't see blood." Ed deadpanned.

"...no you won't." Oswald said slowly. "But if you look that means I win because you submit to the possibility of being wrong."

Ed pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "Oswald I can feel it on my fingers. It doesn't feel like sweat."

"Okay... fine, he stabbed me... a little bit," Oswald proceeded to show what a little bit is with his fingers. "That whole trouble breathing was an act. I can breathe perfectly... mostly. It has nothing to do with the knife."

"Why is everything a joke to you?"

Oswald frowned. "I- you're right. I'm sorry. I just really missed this. For someone called the Ri- well you know his name, he doesn't like fun. Unless someone is getting hurt."

A pained look flashed across Edward's face. "I can't stay long, you know that right?"

Oswald shook his head in confusion. "What do you mean? I freed you. It's over. Or are you talking about Batman? Who cares about Arkham, we'll be out in no time, and from there we can decide." Oswald paused biting his bottom lip. "Um, we can decide what happens next."

Suddenly Ed grabbed Oswald by his coat. "You don't get it! It's not over, it will never be over."

"Eddie..." Oswald was at a loss for the right words. All Oswald could do is watch helplessly as Ed hung his head.

Ed slowly let go of Oswald, his hands shaking quite aggressively the whole time. "I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't." He repeated over and over again his voice barely audible.

Oswald wasn't scared when Riddler threatened him nor was he scared when Riddler acted on those threats, not even when Riddler almost bashed his head in. He was in control. He had Riddler right where he wanted and knew exactly what he would do next. But this? This was fucking terrifying. It had been a long time since he last saw Ed. He mostly knew of Ed when he was Oswald's advisor. He was always so happy and unafraid of any challenge. Frankly, he welcomed any challenge. Not in the way Riddler did of course. Ed didn't do it for the praise he did it because he enjoyed solving problems for others. No matter the challenge he never gave up hope.

'Who did this to you? Was it me?' Oswald thought to himself.

"Please tell me what's going Ed. I can't help you if you don't tell me." Oswald said quietly trying not to further upset Ed.

Ed continued to repeat "I can't." As he shrunk to the floor. His forehead touched the floor and his arms held his torso tightly.

Please don't shut down again. Did I push you too far? Maybe I should just call it a night.

Oswald was taken out of his thoughts as Ed practically tackled Oswald back onto the couch.

"Ed use your words!" Oswald screamed as he hit the couch with a thud.

Ed buried his head into Oswald's chest (avoiding the wound). "I almost did it again. I told you he'd be back."

"You see Riddler already?" Oswald frowned. "You wanted to shut down again but when you shut down he comes out, am I right?"

"Yes." Ed answered quietly.

"Why are you so against talking to me?"

"I..." Ed trailed off.

Oswald sighed sadly. "Ed it's been a long day. Why don't you go to bed and we'll talk in the morning."

"Oswald there is no later. I doubt Gordon is going to forget about us. It's only a matter of time before they take care of whatever the distraction is."

"Ed I don't want to force you to talk to me. I don't know what I did to make you think you can't talk to me about how you're feeling. I don't care how bad it is. You're not going to hurt me."

"That's just it, I am going to hurt you!" Ed's grip tightened. "I almost killed you today. It's only a matter of time."

"You keep saying you. Ed that was Riddler. Not you."

"Riddler isn't some force that possesses my body. Riddler is a part of me." Ed's voice broke. "I am the Riddler."

"You're not-" Oswald started to say before he was cut off by Ed.

"I am! He exists because part of me believes in what he believes in, and wants what he wants. I thought I deserved Kristen because I did everything I was supposed to do. I told myself I killed that cop because he abused her but the truth is I liked showing I was better than him. You were right about Isabella, it was only a matter of time till I became what I truly am."

"What are you?"

"A self-conscious loser that will destroy everything and everyone around him to stroke his ego or to avoid pain."

"And?"

Ed raised his head. "And what?"

Oswald snorted. "That's not all. All you did is describe the Riddler and so what? Fine, Riddler may be a part of you but you're so much more than that. You choose what you want to be, no one else. You don't want to be Riddler anymore? Then don't be him."

"It isn't that simple Oswald." Ed spat.

"How would you know? Have you tried? Do you want to know why Riddler beats you? It's because you think only he can believe in himself. Just like when you convinced yourself you aren't smart. You're the smartest person I know. Including Riddler. Riddler thinks of himself as an unbeatable God. He doesn't factor in the chance that he can be beaten, you do. You love the pursuit of knowledge, he just wants to know more than everyone. You care too much and get hurt, he refuses to care because he's terrified of getting hurt. You're two are two opposites of a spectrum. You aren't him and he isn't you. You're my best friend and always will be. I don't care what it takes to get you to see that you're better than him.

"Oswald I will mess up again. We'll get into some dumb argument or someone will make me small and I'll-"

"Relapse? So what? No matter how many times I mess up you drag me out and show me reality. I will do the same for you. We can't avoid hurting each other but we can trust we'll save each other from going too far. You remember what you told me, right?"

"I'll do anything for you," Ed answered quietly.

"Exactly. You promised." Oswald took a shakey breath in and held Ed tightly. "I want you to be who you want to be and to let me help you do that. You don't have to be alone anymore. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure out that I needed you back and how to get you back."

Ed listened to Oswald's pounding heartbeat. He tightly shut his eyes and tried to steady his own heart. "Wait you planned this?"

Oswald feeling bold ran his hand through Ed's hair. Somehow it was still wet from the rain. Or was it from Oswald's coat? "Not exactly. I had no idea how to bring you back besides getting you to fall in love with someone and there was no way Riddler was going to let that happen again. I guess it started with that idiot complaining no one sees him. I wanted to scream at him and prove him wrong but I knew how that argument was going to end. So I went straight to the bar and saw that damn bottle of whiskey. As soon as I grabbed it I remembered why it was never opened. You gave that exact bottle to me after your first 2 weeks of working for me."

Ed smiled and chuckled, "You remembered?"

"There's nothing I can forget about you." Oswald whispered.

"What?" Ed lifted his head.

"Nothing!" Oswald quickly said and guided Ed's head back down to his chest. "Let me finish. So, I had this bottle, right? And I kept thinking about you. I wanted to talk to you more than anything and then this bastard dared to scold me for drinking. I thought, 'How dare you complain when you never even drink yourself," and then I thought why that was. He would definitely be the type to get absolutely wasted after winning one of his games. Why not, after all, you like to drink occasionally. So then I started to think of your differences. Cold and calculating vs warm and... also calculating I guess... but in a good way! Riddler prides himself on being logical and yells at me for being a 'beating and bloody heart.' I wondered if I made his judgment cloudy you may be able to shine through. The issue was getting you to see through the clouds. Speaking of that, when you aren't you, are you still aware of everything?"

"No." Ed paused for a moment trying to find the right words, "It's kind of like sleeping. It's mostly darkness and nothingness. But once in a while, I'll see images like a dream but I'm not dreaming, it's happening."

"So if you see something and don't like what Riddler is doing can you wake up?"

Ed's hands shook and his breath became erratic.

Oswald unwrapped his arms from Ed and put them on his face. "Ed, it's okay. We don't have to talk about that. It was stupid of me to ask about something that was probably traumatic."

Ed brought his own hands to Oswald's hands. "No, I want to talk about it." He slowly brought Oswald's and his hands down. "That day on the dock when I shot you. There was a moment when I was going to forgive you. Wound you as you had wounded me but let you live."

Oswald's eyes widened in shock.

"But then you went on about how I was nothing and that you created me. You were referring to the other me and it was at that moment I was forced away. From that moment on you sealed your fate. I could do nothing as you begged him to answer you. I couldn't warn you because you had accidentally chosen him thinking he would save you."

"I didn't learn my lesson then." Oswald smiled sadly.

"Third time's a charm, right?"

"Wait then how did I see you sometimes?"

"It's complicated." Ed frowned. "I guess if I feel strongly enough I can take control for a moment. It rarely lasts. It's like I'm an intrusive thought that is quickly pushed away." Ed shrugged. "So what was your idea of getting through to me?"

"Hurt myself obviously. Riddler had shown fake concern over my drinking so I pushed it and it worked. But it only worked for a second and I was devastated. I needed him to drink so I taunted him. I almost gave myself up when he took a small sip but I quickly realized my theory was either shit or I needed him to drink more. I can't lie and say everything I said was part of the plan. I was obviously still feeling the alcohol and was pissed at that bastard. Anyways he drank more and I finally saw the alcohol take effect. I was going to try to play an emotional angle when I realized he wasn't even looking at me. I saw the fear on his face looking at someone that wasn't there. It was then I realized I could beat him. I got so desperate I started screaming at you. You were there somewhere, right? I just needed to pull you out. Then I realized we had been here before. I remembered Arkham and felt idiotic for forgetting it. Of course, this would be the way to free you. But I suppose you know that as you were there with me.

Before Ed could respond the dark room lit up with flashing red and blue lights.

"Looks like Zsasz and Freeze got caught." Oswald sighed. He turned his head to Ed who was white as a ghost and clutching Oswald's hands tightly. "Ed. It'll be fine. They don't have much on us. We'll probably be gone a month, at most."

"Oswald Cobblepot this is the GCPD come out with your hands up!" Gordon's voice echoed through the house.

Ed anxiously watched the door. "I almost let Riddler take control within 5 minutes. I can't last a month."

"You have one minute before we use force." Gordon spoke again.

"Come on Oswald, give me a reason to shoot you!" Bullock screamed.

Oswald stood. "It looks like they're only here for me." He turned and gave Ed one last hug. "I'll be out soon. You'll be fine, Ed. If you're so worried you can figure out a way to break me out. Otherwise, I'll break you out if needed."

"Time's u-"

Oswald released Ed. "Yeah yeah! I'm fucking coming you miserable prick!" He walked over to the door and shoved the handle down. Before pushing the door open he turned his head to Ed one last time. He smiled and winked before throwing the door open.

"If you wanted a meeting with the mayor you should've scheduled one!" He shouted with his hands on his head.

"I call cuffing him." Bullock said as he made his way to Oswald but Gordon was faster.

"No. I told you not to steal the megaphone." Gordon grumbled as he cuffed Oswald.

"Jesus. Does Lee know you're in another marriage?" Oswald sneered.

"Eat shit, Oswald," Harvey said as he yanked Oswald by the collar and ushered him to the cop car.

"Enough. Can we get out of the rain already?" Gordon groaned.

"Wait!" A voice yelled from the house.

"What now?!" Harvey groaned.

Oswald fought against Harvey to see what was going on. Ed had ran out of the house. "Go back inside, Ed." Oswald commanded.

"I'm an accomplice so I should be arrested too."

Harvey and Gordon exchanged a look. Harvey shrugged and Gordon nodded.

"Yeah sure." Harvey mumbled as he cuffed Ed.

Soon Ed and Oswald sat in the back of Bullock's car while he drove recklessly. As Gordon and Bullock argued about who knows more about driving, Oswald leaned next to Oswald. "Why the fuck did you do that?"

Ed smiled excitedly. "I figured out how to break you out."

Oswald held back a laugh. "Of course you did."

"Okay, you can stop bitching about my driving now, the sun came out." Harvey hissed at Gordon.

Oswald smiled and rested his head against Edward as he and Edward looked at each other 'Yeah the sun is out.'

Edward pursed his lips as he looked toward the front of the car and back toward Oswald. Before Oswald could question him Ed did something unexpected. Ed quickly craned his neck down and kissed Oswald. It was over before Oswald could register anything.

"What the fuck was that, Ed?" Oswald shrieked as his face went completely red.

Ed sat facing the front of the car, straight as can be. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Mr. Cobblepot," he deadpaned.

"Oh, you fucker!" Harvey groaned. With one hand still on the wheel Harvey fished out his wallet. He then threw a 100 dollar bill at Gordon. Who silently pocketed it.

"Absolutely not. Was that a bet? Tell me right now what it was." Oswald demanded kicking the back of Gordon's chair.

"Save it for Arkham, Oswald." Gordon sighed annoyed.

"Ed! Did you know?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Ed shrugged.

"I change my mind, it was all Ed! I'm innocent." Oswald yelled.

"Be quiet or ill make you share a cell with Zsasz. When we arrested him earlier he offered to drag your ass in for us." Gordon warned.

"Why didn't you let him do it? He's better at your job than you are. I let you arrest me today." Oswald taunted.

Ed laughed as he settled into his seat.

#gotham #edward nygma #nygmobblepot #oswald cobblepot #the riddler #fanfiction

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howl-fantasies · 2 years ago

Note

How do the "family"(Ed, Oswald, Victor, Jim, Harvey, Barbara, anyone else I forgot) react to them saying something really nasty to yn in anger and her reaching her breaking point and having a mental break down in front of them(crying, screaming just completely unconsolable) would they comfort her or insult her

Hello dear! Thank you for your request and no problem concerning asking them. I'm a bit slow now since I have a lot of them to work on but if you're ready to be patient with me and my super-slow ass, I'll work on yours ❤

I was a bit carried away here, and made headcanons about how the other members of the family would react to one of them being mean to Y/N. I hope it's ok for you!

So here it is:

Warning: Gotham, Victor being Victor, mention of alcohol, smoking, english isn't my first language.

Word count: 6.120

Tags: Maggie is @immortal-velociraptor OC, I'm just borrowing her here, I hope it's ok for you dear. 💕 @flaysthings @keffirinne

HOW DO THE "FAMILY" REACTS WHEN SOMEONE IS NASTY TO Y/N

First thing first, let's clarify something. Yes, Y/N is a pretty confident, competent, and composed woman, most of the time, but! She also has her days where she feels under the weather and, as any human being still feels emotions. Especially with her chosen family with which she tends to lower her guard a bit.

Now, that being said.

👓 When EDWARD is mean to Y/N 👓

Ed and Y/N's relationship is like the one she shares with Oswald: complex and mostly based on a love-hate thing. So it's pretty common for them to be mean to each other, but in a teasing way. Though, sometimes, Ed or she can go too far.

-- Ed is a cleaver man and perfectly knows which button to push to make Y/N mad or feel hurt. When it's the last, he knows he screwed up as soon as he sees her eyes becoming glassy and her jaw clench and unclench to try to keep the tears at bay.

The woman would simply take a shaking breath, mutters a "ok, that's enough", and rush out of the room or hang up to go cry, break, or shoot a few things in her room or any empty one she can find.

🌸MAGGIE: would be one of the firsts to notice Y/N's distress. She knows better than rush to Y/N when she's in the middle of a breakdown with a weapon in her hand and probably a rocket launcher hidden somewhere.

-- Instead, she would rush to Ed and make his life a living hell. Yelling at him about how insensible he can be, shouting even louder if the man tries to defend himself and, depending on what he is saying, may try to slap him.

-- Demands he apologizes properly. So what if he gets his ass kicked in the process? He was a jerk and probably deserves it. "Don't worry, she won't open your third eye with her gun, her charger is empty and we hide the others. Mind the blades, though. I saw Victor going in and out their room earlier and his smile was scarier than usual."

-- Would make sure to pamper Y/N properly, coo at her and be super protective during the rest of the day.

☂ OSWALD: would hear about it from Maggie *Lucius and Draco Malefoy's vibes here*

-- First will laugh a bit, I mean... They are both pigs' heads, so it's funny to see one of their quarrels going this far. Is even a bit impressed by Ed's capacity to make Y/N's strong facade crumbles.

-- But hearing Maggie so distressed, he would have to do something.

Something being: send Ed a text: "Bloody idiot, go apologize before I order Victor makes you. He would be too happy to explains and probably show you how a man with no legs, hands, and ears can still be alive enough to do so."

-- Will offer Y/N some tea and biscuits his mother liked to bake him when he was recovering from one of his tantrums.

-- Isn't too worried. Y/N and Ed wouldn't be able to fully be themselves without the other to taunt/threaten/cooperate with/vent to. So they'll be back to be their usual selves soon, he's certain.

🪒VICTOR: Oh boy. Ed made his wife cry. We all know how Zsasz deals with people making his "Sweetness" cry: he beats them to a pulp. But since it's Ed, make it a: annihilate.

-- Impossible to call him on his phone. The hitman is on a mission now. If Maggie wasn't able to hide his machine and sniper guns, Ed would have to run. And fast.

-- His plan is very simple: search Ed. Find him. Torture him. And decapitate him to bring his head to Y/N and make it apologize. What? He's a super-talented ventriloquist after all, ask Oswald and the previous commissioner!

-- Doesn't care if he has to kill a few Gothamites or GCPD officers to reach his goal. I told you. He's a man on a MISSION. Gods, even with his body full of bullets and bleeding he would find the fucker and make him pay. It's one of his top rules: make my wife cry, *insert his maniac laugh then brutally stop it* you're dead.

🚔JIM: Why him? Let him have just ONE day without having to deal with the sicko family. Poor guy is now on high alert. Y/N crying means blood at some point. And potentially a bloodbath if Zsasz ever heard about it. He did? *Facepalms and sighs heavily*

-- Will try to find Ed before Victor and will probably have to fight Victor and pray be lucky enough to knock him out. Dear, how he hates his life.

-- Will also send a text to Ed: "If you wanted to die, there are some others painless ways, Nygma."

-- He will probably be joined by Maggie at some point. She may find or know a way to calm Victor or make him only break a few bones. Hopefully.

-- Will also send Y/N a text: "Your husband is on a killing spree. Please stop crying and do something about it."

🍺HARVEY: I like Harvey. He's a simple but practical man.

-- Heard about Y/N's breakdown? He's in front of Oswald's mansion with two bottles of his finest whiskey.

-- He knows the woman since she was 15, of course she wouldn't shoot him now, he's too old to run meaning he's too boring to chase meaning she wouldn't even find any joy in making him suffer. He will be fine. Plus, Y/N would never take the risk to damage a good whiskey.

-- Will drink with her and listen to her ranting without trying to interject. Just making a few comments and insulting Ed when she would. He still doesn't like the man after all and would never skip the chance to spat on his name.

-- Both would be found playing poker on the bed with the empty bottles next to them, smoking and shouting, accusing the other to cheat *spoiler they are*.

🍸BARBARA: "What is this fucking nerd's problem?!" Barbara and Y/N knew each other so well, the blonde decided it makes them BFFIT - Best Frenemies Forever In Town -.

-- Y/N is with Tabi and her the third Queen Bitch of Gotham. Selina being its Princess. Barbara is a feminist: make one sister cry, you'll have to deal with the whole sorority.

-- Is after Ed immediately and will offer her help to Victor. If he refused, fuck him, he's an obstacle to Women's revenge. These idiots will try to kill each other just to prove their stupid point: Victor protects and attacks for his dear wife. Barbara: protects and attacks for her dear sister and basically all the women in town wronged by men.

-- Will send Y/N a simple: "On it, Hon. Nygma is dead. Come at the Sirens tonight, drinks on the house."

☂ When OSWALD is mean to Y/N ☂

Oswald and Y/N have history. Even a bookcase wouldn't be enough to store all of it from the "I respect you" when they first met each other, to "You fucking snitch/tart", when Oswald betrayed Falcone, to "Ok I'll work for you from time to time/hire you as my consultant assassin", to "OMFG I swear I'm going to rip your head off", to "Maybe you're not THAT bad after all"... See the drama? They never were able to choose between "I like you" and "I hate you".

Like Ed, he knows her very well and what buttons to activate when he wants to hurt. And the little bird his veeery good at it.

🌸MAGGIE: Pretty difficult for her to be torn between her loyalty to Y/N and her affection for Oswald. But Cobblepot wronged the hitwoman and has to make amend for it.

-- Since Oswald wouldn't listen to reason, Maggie would ignore him first I think. Only answering a "think about what you've done" when he would question her about her aloofness.

-- She would try to send a text to Y/N, just to ask if she can do something for her to make her feel better. Probably just let her be, but she had to ask.

-- Will ask Olga to make all the dishes Oswald hated just to make him feel miserable. Will also mess with his white clothes, adding an innocent bright red sock to his washer. Oh, no, now everything is pink, *sigh* so sad.

-- This little petty game would last until Oswald finally snaps and goes apologize. Last time Maggie had to use this cursed technique, it lasted four whole days.

-- Oswald was so stubborn he was ready to meet his goons with pink-dressed shirts, if not for Olga and the whole plate of goulash she accidentally she spilled on him.

👓 ED: Like Maggie, Ed would choose mental torture. Remember his bowler hat in the middle of Oswald's desk? The same idea, but with a picture of Y/N scowling disapprovingly.

-- He would put this picture everywhere. In Oswald's dresser, behind the mirror in his bathroom, on the cushion next to Cobblepot's one in his bed, in the pockets of his coats...

-- Damn he would even pin one on the toilet bowl, making Oswald scream bloody murder and scramble out of the room.

-- Would create as many riddles as necessary about guilt and hurt feelings, and broken friendships. If this approach isn't enough, Ed isn't against abducting Oswald, stump him with one especially twisted riddle, and forcing his old friend to call Y/N to solve it and hopefully save his life. "The perfect pretext to start an apology, don't you think, Oswald?" He would ask mockingly.

🪒VICTOR: Depends on what Oswald said to Y/N. The situation is a bit tricky here, since Cobblepot is his boss and he cannot kill his boss without a very good reason to do so.

-- But he's mad, that's for sure. And Oswald needs to pay too, in a way or another. You may find some of his cold creepy vibes from S1 here, when he was still under Carmine's wing and Oswald was terrified by him.

-- Would still do his job, though. He's a professional after all. But, his killings would be truly horrifying. And he would manage to send Oswald every piece of each kill. Like: "I can't really kill you now, but that's exactly what I would love to do to your sorry ass."

-- If what Oswald said was really threatening Y/N's mental state, no cute little gifts. You will find Zsasz chasing Oswald around his own house, shooting just a few millimeters from him and "guiding" him to his bedchambers in order for him in apologize. Likes to call this method: little shots of courage.

🚔JIM: when Y/N has a breakdown, he's 98% sure it's because of Oswald. He knows about their history, since he also has his own love-hate history with the Penguin.

-- He also knows how dangerous Y/N AND Victor can be when she's in this state. If Victor wouldn't shoot his own boss, he's not certain Y/N wouldn't do it. Killing Oswald would send Gotham into hell all over again, just like it was when Carmine died. He wasn't ready for it.

-- Would find a pretext to arrest Oswald and put him in one of the questioning rooms. Like this, Cobblepot will have some thick hard walls between him and his hitwoman, and Gordon would have the perfect opportunity to scold him and, with Harvey's help, convince Oswald to go apologize.

-- He will refuse to stand between Victor and Oswald if Zsasz barged into the GCPD to kindly offer the Penguin some "shots of courage". Thanks but no thanks. Hopefully, his little talk with Oswald would help to ease the situation. If not... let's not think about it for now...

🍺HARVEY: Let's be clear here. Jim would be the good cop and do the talking. Harvey would bully Oswald and make him pee in his pants, explaining in graphic details how mutilated the last corpses Victor let them deal with were.

-- He would even show him pictures, just for the pleasure of making him turn green.

-- He will 100% send Y/N and Victor a text to snitch Cobblepot's temporary position in the police station and deny it when Jim will ask between gritted teeth. What? He hates Penguin and wants him dead since ages. So what? If he accelerates the process? Some call it murder, others: public service.

🍸BARBARA: pretty much the same reaction she would have with Ed. She wouldn't team up with Riddler, because she's still salty about the whole Tabitha and Butch thing. But will be ready to kill Oswald because he made Y/N feel like shit.

-- She would also barged into the GCPD, demanding Jim to give her Penguin, "you know...for a little chit-chat, with a gun shoved deep down into his throat."

🌸WHEN MAGGIE MAKES Y/N CRY🌸

It's pretty rare, to be honest, but happened once or twice. At first, it would be accidental, she wouldn't even realize how deep her words hurt the other woman. So Victor had to give Maggie 'the talk' about what you can and cannot say to his precious wife, unless you wish him to go after you and end your life. Brutally. And painfully. He didn't go into deep details, just the key words not to pronounce unless you want to die.

After the talk, no excuses. She would know what she was doing, and the rest of the family would know it too.

☂ OSWALD: Since Oswald and Maggie are pretty close and he knows about Maggie's kind nature, I think he would be the most gentle with his approach.

-- Like grown adults, Cobblepot would ask Maggie to sit with him in front of a good relaxing cup of tea and would explain to her why he needs Y/N in full possession of her twisted head to rule Gotham.

-- He wouldn't have to make her feel guilty, the young woman would probably feel already awful after making her mother's figure crumbles under her words.

-- Penguin will offer to accompany her in front of Y/N's door and will make a huge effort to play mediator if needed. The irony, knowing him. But he would try, for his precious family.

👓 ED: Ed would be surprised first. Maggie? Being mean to Y/N? Seriously?! Then, he would be a bit mad. How dare she? Doesn't she know how Y/N put her guard down around her?

-- What angers him, is linked to the fact Y/N softer's side was hurt. Ed is protected by Riddler, and Y/N is protected by her ice-queen facade. Around Maggie, Ed and Y/N can interact freely without the need to protect themselves, or so he thought. Hurting 'soft' Y/N would be like hurting Ed and this is basically why he is so mad. This situation shouldn't happen when they are around Magnolia. But it did.

-- Riddler would be particularly nasty with her, for a few hours or days, depending on what have been said. Just the time to build trust again with the young woman.

-- Her remorse and genuine guilt will help greatly and make Ed resonate with his other self: nobody is perfect and conflict happens. Maggie is also feeling awful and will try her everything to make amend. Which makes her still the better soul in town.

🪒VICTOR: Ouch. "Ungrateful little brat." He would mutters, just before cutting Maggie upcoming answer with the: "Not now", dangerous voice.

-- This one is tricky too, since Maggie is supposed to be their 'adopted daughter' or something similar. Seeing their underling being the one responsible for Y/N's tears and distress makes him furious. Damn, he even gave her THE TALK, and when he summons you somewhere it isn't normally to TALK. But he did, and she didn't listen.

-- Victor would also need to isolate himself a minute or two just to not accidentally cut her hands to teach her a good lesson. He's not sure his wife would appreciate, as mad as she can be. So breathe in and out for him.

-- You can legitimately feel worried when he comes out with a scolding face and a gun held firmly in his right hand. "Run little one. You know the way to our room, I'll help you go here faster", he would say slowly, shooting on the floor as soon as he finished his sentence.

-- Time to beat Bolt's record Mags, or to take a bullet in your ankle... Victor runs pretty fast himself after all...

🚔JIM: never in the 2% left to his previous reflection would he have imagined Maggie being in them. Oh god. He would yell to call Harvey and make him jump with him into their car to rush to Oswald's mansion and try to protect the young woman.

-- GEEE-CEEE-PEEE-DEEE! Yes, you would have it here. Clearly. Both Harvey and Him would barge in with their guns ready to waste bullets and bullet armor ready to take Victor's.

-- Oswald would help them to find Maggie, hopefully before Victor and to ship her to the police station. Bad idea. They're up for a remake of S1 with Victor being here "for Magnolia. Only her." And his deep and frightening voice calling her "OI MAGGIE! MAGGIE! Hi Maggie." You can imagine the rest...

-- If Victor is already chasing her, Jim would try to tackle him on the floor and fight him in hope to knock him out. If he succeeded, see the previous point. If not, Harvey and him would run for dear life next to Maggie making them three idiots rushing to Y/N's door and yelling her name in absolute terror.

🍺HARVEY: He would be the good cop with Maggie and do the talking. "Yeah, Y/N is a beast of a woman, but even beasts have feelings you know Mags? And we all don't want the other beast to go feral now. So please, apologize..."

-- Would offer liquid courage if she needs it. He always has some on him, somewhere. It's his superpower. Don't question it.

-- Would try to stop Zsasz with the 'diving suit' he used in S5. Can't change my mind. He likes her but he also loves his shitty life you know? So ridiculous diving suit it is.

-- Would expect a thank you letter from her after the shitstorm.

🍸BARBARA: Wouldn't try to kill Maggie, she knows the young woman is a touchy subject with her best frenemy. But will revoke all her privileges in her club. Even during ladies night, she would have to pay. "Want a cocktail? No prob, as long as you're ready to pay it twice its price."

-- Empty threats and insults send by text. She doesn't say it but she is jealous of the link between the two women. She knew Y/N first, when she was still sane so she IS her TRUE frenemy. Nobody else!

🚔 WHEN JIM IS AWFUL TO Y/N 🚔

It's pretty hard for Jim to make Y/N cry. For her, he's like a cute little guinea pig with much less survival instinct. Something funny to watch and interact with but not as an equal. Her mistake here. Because he managed to propel her into a mental breakdown a few times. It wasn't on purpose but it did the same. And everyone will not be as kind as they were with Magnolia let me tell you.

☂ OSWALD: "How dare you Jim?! Friends don't make friends feel awful, don't you know it?!" The nerve here!

-- Cobblepot will be inside of the GCPD just after hearing about the incident. He wouldn't move until Jim comes with him to make a full and proper apologize to his hitwoman.

-- Don't hesitate to threaten to impale him in front of at least 50 cops. And won't hesitate to shoot a few of them if it helps Gordon to move.

-- Will screeches in Jim's ears during the whole trip, and rant about how friendship shouldn't be treated so poorly, how insensible he was with his very sensible woman assassin. "Women feel deeper than us, Jim. Everybody knows it! Everybody but YOUUUUU!"

-- Honestly, Jim would apologize. But the main reason may be to make Oswald shuts the fuck up.

👓 ED: Hydraulic press. WHERE IS HIS HYDRAULIC PRESS SO HE COULD TOSS HIS BOWLER HAT INTO THE RING?!

-- Would also go straight to the GCPD, using gas to put everyone to sleep and kidnap Gordon. Simple but effective. Will of course ask a twisted riddle before but he already knows none of these monkeys will have the correct answer.

-- Jim would wake up tied up on a dingy table, in a dingy building in the middle of the Narrows and under Ed's favorite toy: his very threatening hydraulic press.

-- Would put a good 40kg on the man before grabbing his phone, taking a picture of his sorry ass and dialing Y/N's number to call her just after.

-- Would hang the device next to Jim's reddening face, asking if he didn't have something to say to his very precious friend Y/N. "Come on Jim, this one is simple enough for you to answer correctly. Unless you want another 10kg added to your suffering?"

-- Jim would apologize. Mostly to save his poor life. But hey at least he did!

🌸MAGGIE: Oh she would be mad. And find her way to the GCPD with a very hot cup of coffee she would accidentally throw at Jim's head as soon as she would spot him. Harvey would dodge. Not him.

-- The young woman would yell at him, making the thick walls shake and the 50 cops inside rush out of the room, too afraid to also be drenched in burning hot coffee. Solidarity level 9000 here.

-- Won't hesitate to pinch Gordon's ear like an angry mom and pull him behind her to her car and throw his sorry ass in here. After that, she would scold him like Oswald during the whole trip to his mansion and demands an apology.

-- Will ignore him for a few days or weeks after the incident.

🪒VICTOR: again. Remake of his iconic scene in S1. Minus the smile. He's on a mission: grab Jim, cut his hands, shove him into his car, make him apologize and maybe shoot him after, if his wife still feel bad. Or if he's still mad. *Spoiler he will*.

-- Would make a point with shooting the GCPD's main doors with his wife's favorite rocket launcher first. Oh, he killed a dozen agents because of it? Too bad. He doesn't give a shit. He's just here for Jim after all.

-- Only a call from Oswald will prevent the hands cutting thing. Jim will owe Penguin for this too.

-- But nothing will stop Zsasz to grab Jim roughly by the collar and throw him on the backside of his car.

-- Jim will apologize, fearing for his life, and take a bullet in his kneecap since Victor isn't convinced, is still mad, and because fuck it, he wanted to shoot someone today.

🍺HARVEY: No buddy. Nu-hu. "Don't even try to justify how you so brilliantly put us in deep shit. You know what not 'us', it will be you and only you with this one."

-- Despite Barbara stupid claims concerning the fact SHE is the one knowing Y/N since ages - Wrong, I mean Victor knew her before she did - Harvey is the one knowing Y/N the longer. "15 fucking years guys." For sure, he knows one thing or two about the woman and how to act around her to maximize your chances of survival.

-- He's like her favorite constantly drunk uncle, he's sure.

-- But since Harvey is a good man, he would lend his diving suit to Jim, with a little "don't die on me pal" note attached to it. Give this man a whiskey cookie.

🍸BARBARA: will not try to really kill Jimbo. She's still in a passionate love-hate relationship with the cop.

-- BUT! She absolutely will spam him with insulting texts, will make his car looks like a gruyère and might threaten to make the GCPD explodes if Jim doesn't move his pathetic ass to go to Y/N.

-- He would also become persona non grata at the Sirens until he apologizes. She wouldn't give him information if he needed one and would, like the queen she is, invite him to go fuck his self.

🍺 WHEN HARVEY MAKES Y/N CRY 🍺

-- Harvey? Making Y/N cry? Come on! He's too chill for that! Harvey knows what makes Y/N ticks. And he needs her creepy protection texts too much in order to stay alive.

-- He isn't the kind of man to scold her because she went too far with blowing up a building. He would only groan, sigh, and before Jim joined him at the GCPD would simply close any case involving her. Man! Who wants a crazy lunatic woman chasing their poor soul around a city like Gotham?

-- Worse who wants to also have to run for dear life after her sicko husband heard about what you've done to his object of constant obsession?

Exactly: no one.

-- Don't get me wrong, Harvey already had made Y/N experiment mental break down, but when she was younger and much more reckless. He's many things but an idiot, despite what many thought.

-- Harvey is perceptive and, when he gives a fuck, a.k.a when Gotham is starting to burn to the ground because of Y/N feeling off, he would actually give a shit and learn to avoid triggering her like he did.

-- If Harvey feels Y/N starting to crumble after something he might have said, he will immediately stop their argument and suggest going to the nearest bar to drink beer or anything with alcohol.

-- Y/N would be with him and nowhere in town to wreak havoc. It's also a form of public service he is delivering here. Give the man a medal.

Jim would yell at him for his carefree attitude when he judges Y/N deserved a proper scolding and thinks her "I don't care if what I'm doing is destroying the whole humanity" attitude is due to Harvey's and the GCPD lack of discipline when she was younger.

"Dude, she would have been the one who makes you cry like a river", will simply answer Bullock with a shrug.

"Even as a kid, she was crazy enough to tableflip the inox table in the interrogation room right into MY FACE. Then, she stole my gun and started her own little remake of Scarface in the middle of the GCPD. You think Kyle is difficult?! God, she's a fucking saint next to young Y/N Montana."

🍸 WHEN BARBARA MAKES Y/N CRY 🍸

It's not often that Barbara finds her way under Y/N's skin. But like with Jim, it happens from time to time. It's funny because I think Kean would feel awful being the one responsible of the other woman genuine distress. Pissing her off, ok, they both enjoy doing it on a daily basis. But hurting... it's totally different.

☂ OSWALD: "That bitch made Y/N cry!" He would yell from one of his couch to Ed, who would be leaning against a window frame with a scowl. "How dare she?!" Cobblepot would add as he smashed his fist repeatedly against his armchair.

-- Would immediately call Victor and order the annihilation of the Sirens. "You know what to do!" He would spat before hanging up.

-- He absolutely will call all his goons and associates and tell them "Barbara Kean is now banned from their contact list. And the Sirens isn't a neutral place anymore. Yes, absolutely, you can plan a slaughter inside of it, it's not my problem anymore. Enjoy guys."

-- Will ignore her texts, most of it being insults and threats anyway, and will rush to his kitchen to make Y/N some nice tea, even put a bit of whiskey in it, and some biscuits. What? No, it's not kindness, he's simply acting like a good boss.

👓 ED: would be furious. Even if he wouldn't plan to kill Barbara, BeCaUsE tHeY hAvE hIsToRy, he would rush to his hideout and search his beloved mini guillotine. Since Y/N is French, she would appreciate the gesture, he was sure.

-- Tabi would feel a cold shiver in her very bones, something was up. They will not like it, especially Barbara... Oh, dear, not the guillotine again.

-- Will kidnap Kean and tied her up like he did with Butch and Tabi. But this time her 60 seconds will be to call Y/N, pray she's not mad enough to ghost her and apologize.

-- If Riddler is satisfied, he would stop the mechanism. If not. Well, time to make an appointment at Gotham General Hospital. Their surgeon are great, he heard.

🌸MAGGIE: she wouldn't confront Barbara immediately. She knows about Kean misplaced jealousy and it wouldn't do any good barging in and demanding her go apologize.

-- She would call Butch and Tabi instead and explain them Barbara put them on thin ice with basically everyone. So, it will be in their best interest to convince the woman to make amend. And soon, before Oswald calls Victor.

-- Butch would be livid and Tabi doesn't really want to deal with a berserk Zsasz in the middle of the bar.

-- She's herself a very competent assassin but wouldn't try her luck against a man who was mad enough to walk in front of a fucking machine gun, was shot by it and still managed to escape and live to tell the tale. Nope, nu-uh, no way in hell. Ok. Time for Barbara to act like the adult woman she will never be.

🪒VICTOR: "Zsasz is standing in front of the door holding a rocket launcher." Basically this.

-- As soon as he got Oswald's call, he steered the wheel of his car to go straight to the Sirens. Funky Town blasting in the vehicle is enough to make every thug or villain walking in the area to run for their dear shitty life.

-- "Ladies", he's still polite you might note. But isn't smiling. His guns are hitching and he can't wait for a good chase. Butch will love to run again, be caught again and torture all over AGAIN.

-- Already has a plan for Kean's torture session. He will make her crawl like an animal and finish what he should have done a few years ago in Carmine's mansion. Clearly.

🚔JIM: poor dude will try to do the right thing and rush to Barbara to protect her from Victor, Ed and Oswald. If he managed to catch her before Ed or Victor, he would try to put some sense into her thick head.

-- "Are you suicidal now Barbara?! Call Y/N before you lose a hand or worse, your whole head!" He would plead, just before a strangled yelp escaped his mouth when he hears Funky Town just behind him. "Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit! Call her NOW!"

🍺HARVEY: "Your problem, bitch", that's what he would say just before grabbing his coat and hat, ready to go out of the GCPD.

-- "Where are you going now Harvey?!" Would ask Jim incredulously.

-- "To the bar, Jim. And I'm not going alone. Will go fetch the kid first then help her drink her sorrow and maybe puke it later. Who knows?"

🪒WHEN VICTOR MAKES Y/N CRY 🪒

Oh boy, good luck with this one. If he's usually able to make Y/N mad enough to chase him down the dirty streets in her panties and guns in her hands and find great delight in it, Victor is totally fucked when he's the reason why his wife is crying. He's useless and would immediately ask if she wants a glass of water. *Worthless dude alert*

He's out of his comfort zone with Y/N tears. Because it means he managed to reach the most sensible part of her and isn't acclimated to it yet. For him, his dear wife is ruthless, a cold-blood killer, always have some sass in spare for him or will always find a way to make him pay if he does something that made her mad. But tears? How are you supposed to act in front of them when they aren't the product of one of your twisted torture session? *Insert Windows error sound*

☂ OSWALD: Shock. Facepalm. Grunts. Screeches. Yes, in this very order.

-- "What the hell VICTOR?! You're not supposed to make your wife cry! What about my next grand villain's plan?! How am I supposed to concretise it without Y/N, uh?! GO APOLOGIZE IDIOT!"

-- Will wait next to the door with his arms crossed like an angry father waiting for his child to correct his mistake. And glare at him if he dares saying something stupid aggravating his wife's ire. "Bloody imbecile!"

-- Will give all suicidal missions he kept especially to Y/N in hope to kill her accidentally in the process to Zsasz. Doesn't care if there is only 24h in a day. Victor screwed, he has to face the consequences.

-- Still a good boss and make her tea + biscuits. Even plan a self-care day in which they would apply moisturizing masks on each other faces, do the other their manicure and watch stupid tv shows all day.

👓 ED: now he wants the original guillotine model. That fucker won't live to see another day.

-- Ed can't forgive Victor. As a husband, it was HIS role to make sure his wife was ok and prevent any tears to escape from her beautiful, piercing and steel-cold eyes. He failed her. And Edward, as well as Riddler, won't tolerate it.

-- Will go against Oswald wish and try to kidnap Zsasz. If he succeeds, Victor would wake up with the Marseillaise sound, tied up and his head ready to end into a cute little basket abhorring a blue, white and red bow.

-- Only a call from Y/N would make him stop.

-- If Zsasz managed to prevent the kidnapping, he would feel the electrical end of his cane. Maybe more than once. Ed would also taste the blade of his knife or a bullet from Victor's gun, but he's too mad to care. You don't make Y/N cry. End of the story.

🌸MAGGIE: she would want to cry too. Last quarrel between Y/N and Victor was awful.

-- It impacted everyone in Gotham: the slaughters and bloodbaths exploded because of the two, and the postal services were still shocked about their bloody and deadly epistolary relationship. For God's sake, Y/N sent Victor at least a dozen decapitated heads in the middle of cacti!

-- She will scream at Zsasz, trying to make him understand how he has been stupid and how you don't offer a freaking glass of water just after making someone cry!

-- Will hide his weapon. All of them. And his clothes, replacing them with white and pink ones. Be ready to see ViKen walk around for a few days.

-- Will ask Oswald to make his ears bleed.

🚔JIM: Oh no... not again. He was not ready. Not at all.

-- Will immediately send a warning text to Y/N: "No decapitated heads in the middle of cacti. Not again. Are you ok, though?"

-- Will pray Satan so he would help his best agents on earth to reconcile, and ask God for forgiveness after doing it.

-- Will groan if a killing spree happens after the crying and curse Zsasz.

🍺HARVEY: *Best alcoholic uncle in town joined the game*

-- "Fucking hell dude! No scorned Y/N, cause she's worse than any scorned woman! I know it, you know it, and everyone in town knows it! Go apologize, I'm sending something to relax her. Don't try to talk until she has drunk half of the bottle. Yeah, you're welcome."

-- Won't hesitate to add one or two Xanax into the bottle. Or a little something carefully rolled with a lighter next to it. *Don't do drugs bruh, it's bad*. It's for an emergency, the commissioner will look the other way don't worry, as well as the courier. Shh. It's their little secret.

-- Will also pray Satan for his help. But won't ask for God's forgiveness, he would have done the same.

🍸BARBARA: "You're dead Zsasz."

-- Will join forces with Ed to help him concretise his beheading plan.

-- Will dress in blue, white and red for the occasion and even wave a little French flag during the whole operation.

-- Will send the picture to Y/N to cheer her up.

BONUS:

🍷CARMINE: no matters who made Y/N cry, Carmine will know. Even if he's not the king of Gotham anymore, he still has contacts and will call them to make life a living hell for the responsible of his adoptive child's distress.

-- But if it's Victor, oh dear. Prepare for a disappointed father's call and scolding. Victor would be the one crying at the end of it. He would ask for Falcone's forgiveness and ask a few tips about what to do when you hurt your wife.

-- Be ready for old-fashioned advice about buying flowers, at this point the whole shop, diamonds, and do basically everything your wife might ask. "Minus throwing yourself out the window, Victor. She'll ask but don't do it. You both would regret it." "Yes, Sir."

A/N - I hope it wasn't too long or too boring and you liked it! Have a beautiful day/night and take care dear!

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