#probably ended up being way longer of an answer than you wanted anon my bad

[cregansdingdong]

imagine cregan and y/n breaking the bed one night just because of his sheer strength and muscle whilst pounding her, ik the conversation with the winterfell wood crafter would be awks as hell afterwards whilst asking for it to be repaired 😇😇

IM HAVING A PROPHETIC VISION, ANON.

At this point, Cregan and his boo thang are just going to have to become familiar with the man. There is no other option, because your choices are either to have this embarrassing conversation a multitude of times with multiple woodcrafters or just one. Because if y'all think this is a one-time thing, you are terribly mistaken.

Cregan is a very passionate person in bed, regardless if he's on top or not. He wants to make sure the two of you are satiated—that does mean the bed will snap like a twig under a boot i dont make the rules i just work here. Personally, I find the actual deliverance of the bedframe to be the most mortifying. Firstly, that big ass broken bed has to be dismantled and removed, if it's not fixable, which takes manpower, and then the new one brought into the Great Keep and put together. Otherwise, the woodcrafter is going to have to make a house call and show up with his tools and planks, walking toward your marital chambers which is embarrassing too :)

ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. (thoughts ver.)

NSFW stuff under the cut. 18+ only. I'm not responsible for the content you choose to consume. ty.

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That familiar groan under his weight should've been the first warning sign, but Cregan was too distracted to notice. He was lapping at her pretty cunt, tongue delving as deep as he could go and as thorough as he could be without the motions being too unsteady. Alright maybe he did notice initially, but the thought was very quickly shoved to the back of his mind—especially when his pretty wife was trying to rock herself onto his nose, letting out the most quiet of whimpers muffled by their sheets. His ears were focused on her and her only.

With her pearl rubbing against his bridge and his cock feeling so strained in his trousers, no one could really blame him for forgetting about the delicate state of the bed in an instant. Last time they’d gotten particularly frantic in their lovemaking, there had been a low snap somewhere beneath the mattress, a taunt that he was probably too hefty to be moving so much. But winter was coming, a man’s gotta eat…in more ways than one.

By the time he’d recalled they should begin to take it easy on the bed, he was already balls deep behind her, hands gripping the flesh of her ass like a lifeline. He was suffocating in the best way, cock nestled inside, fogging his brain with nothing but instinct. And then she started begging. By then, well, he decided they needed a new bed anyway—six moons wasn’t too bad. Lasted longer than the previous replacement. Three harsh, unrelenting spanks bloom red on her backside as she squeezes around him, sending his blood pumping to the beat of an imaginary war drum. It would be a miracle from the Gods if she wasn’t pregnant by mid-summer. Cregan just couldn’t help himself.

Rutting against her like a man starved, the right side of the bed almost completely collapses, caving in and nearly throwing him off balance. His wife gasped, pleasure momentarily halted as she looked back at him. “Again? Seriously? I told you to write to him last time, did you?” The answer was no, no he did not. “It might have…slipped…my mind.” He murmured, trying to ignore the throbbing in his full balls. They had a silent conversation of glares and a sheepish grin. Then she concedes. “...We might as well finish then. I doubt it can get any worse.”

It could, actually. And it did. He came hard some twenty minutes later, pounding their hips together with a steady desperation. The dip of the broken side was a little annoying, but manageable. Without the support, the right beams of the canopy end up falling right down. No one was harmed, of course. It was only drapes. Cregan found it almost comical but his wife did not. It was going to be a long letter.

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[inkedtae]

I think the Rotten Angelcake story has way too many cliffhangers. It makes it difficult to enjoy the episode properly because I know that I will have questions that are not answered. It is good to have suspense but considering your upload schedule, I find myself not wanting to know what happens.

Secondly, the story is told. I think in movies they say “don’t tell, just show”. I would rather read the things happening rather than read about it. For example, you mention some jewellery Taehyung gifted. Also, what happened in that theatre? How did Angel take her punishment? I read all the story for it to end in a vague way and it is discouraging. I think it would be more meaningful if I read things happening. Some might be good for foreshadowing, but more times than that I feel like I am reading a summary of what happened with minimal actual dialogue.

By no means you are a bad writer. I think you are brilliant at writing. You have excellent characters that do not weave. We could all gauge how each of your characters would react to certain things. The characters don’t feel rushed. But in general, the story line feels dragged. The story progression feels passive. Most of the episodes are short to average in length and repeat in a certain cycle. I don’t mean to be crude and ask for them to have intercourse, but this back on forth is depressing. I wouldn’t be surprised if Taehyung and Angel went their separate ways. Same thing with Angel’s boss. How many episodes will it take for that storyline to unravel?

I don’t want to come across rude, but I couldn’t stop writing this because I genuinely like Rotten Angelcake. I hope I wrote this with grace and you can take it gracefully. Please take care of yourself and thank you for your time ❤️

hey anon!

first i wanna say thank you so much for reading and being patient with me. i really appreciate that 💕

i completely understand your frustration and confusion. with an unreliable update schedule and more or less formulaic chapters, it can seem very difficult to remain optimistic about or interested in the story. for that i apologize! i don’t mean to be so absent or fall into a predictable format.

to explain, which by no means excuses anything but is just to give some context, my initial goal with rac was to post drabbles of this couple without a certain overarching plot and really just use this series to work through personal feelings, issues, and life experiences. it is probably my most personal series since it reflects so much of my emotions and life. i was just going to post what i felt like, when i felt like, and just what i was feeling at the time. however as i started to write their relationship i really liked the tension and the uncertainty that was between them because it was really reflective of a certain part in my life. so this is kinda of why it seems like things are dragging on. there was no initial direction and i was just posting short scenes of them discovering angels sexuality together until maybe chapter nine or ten when she goes to meet his family. before that it was just a trope-y, smutty series of drabbles. i was not looking to be original or challenge any concepts. overall, i just wanted an open-ended collections of drabbles about how these two people, who don’t know how to come to terms with or navigate their feelings for each other, are super horny lol

however, since i have shifted this to a more “structured” (and i use that word loosely because i now know what i wanna do but not quite how i wanna get there) series, its been harder to write. the plot point for her boss, for example, is hard to wrap up because now i have to reference a plot point from five chapters ago that was a passing detail to establish a sexual interaction. and i recognize that it will be confusing so i'm trying bridge some gaps through this transition from drabbles to “proper” chapters. if i could rewrite this, the series would probably be around five or six chapters instead and much longer and probably less confusing to follow.

also i want to apologise for the vague endings. i can see how that can be really disappointing. you waited all this time for it to end without a clear understand of what's going on and it’s discouraging! i'm really sorry about that.

so moving forward, i will be establishing an update schedule that you can rely on and that i can definitely meet (which i had already had planned on doing after a blog revamp). i will also try to give you more solid endings and more answers rather than questions!

thank you for sharing your thoughts! i don’t think you were being rude. you were just sharing how you feel which is always appreciated. whether or not you choose to keep reading, i just wanna thank you again for giving it a chance. i hope that i have addressed all your concerns! ☺️🫶🏼

[datrb]

Random question ik, but sometime ago I remember that an Anon asked you the kind of relationship you headcanoned for the four Hollow Heads, and you said that you used a brotherly one

So, I have two questions regarding them

1, do you consider Vic and Chosen as twins, moatly bc they were created just months apart and looked identical before Vic's change of looks in Wanted?

And 2, how do you think they would interact if they were all created in an Au where things were all fine? Like, a paceful Au where nothing bad happened?

Just asking bc your ideas scratch my brain just right every time xhxbxkxnx-

(This post ended up a long longer than i planned... Oops. Hope you don't mind a bit of rambling)

Okay, a bit of clarification first: when i said i see them more as siblings i meant that if i had to choose i would lean more towards a brotherly bond. Obviously, none of them are related outside of being made by one creator in canon and in my art and things i write i usually stick to it outside of some obvious OOC or fanon moments (that Dark dancing gif, or almost all of the memes).

First question

... is rather easy, to get an answer for it, it's enough to just look at my designs of them. And their designs are fairly different, while still sharing a few details that i knowingly apply to all of the mainline hollowheads (mainline - Legacy Trio - MCs of their respective AvAs - Vic, Chosen and Second). If anything, Victim and Chosen's designs are the most different two among the ones i have among hollowheads because of how different they are as people.

Although, i will lie if i say it was entirety my doing. Victim's design was at first a suggestion from a friend, who liked an idea of Victim being a ninja, so my OG design of him was heavily inspired by more stereotypical Japanese ninga outfits (yes stereotypical. Not actual ones and i did it knowingly because Vic was made by an american highschooler), while chosen got the "US military man" treatment. But this was before AvA6(season 3) came about and i had to rework my Victim design.

Here are a few examples of how Vic's design had changed:

Later i also changed his pants and shoes to resemble the og design more, as i thought dress trousers were a bit too boring for him to wear.

Okay this part had lasted for... A lot longer than it should have...

Second question

... is quite complicated, not gonna lie... It's kinda hard to imagine how non-traumatized Chosen would act. Same goes for Victim without insecurities, not even mentioning that Dark would either not exist in the first place, or be a totally different person.

Hmmm... But, assuming from what we know of them already, i think they'll get along both amongst eachother and with Alan. I think Vic would still feel a bit insecure about his lack of abilities, but Alan would probably try to make up for it by allowing Vic free acess to his toolbar, like he did with Second. And Vic, being as smart as he is, would find ways to go almost en-par with Chosen's powers using only the tools.

Oh also, i can 100% see Vic playing Chess with Alan, or playing something like Sudoku, Minesweeper or Solitaire while Alan is asleep and Chosen quite often doing something to mess with his games. Vic would be angry at Chosen for ruining his streak, which would lead to them fighting in a half-joking manner.

I don't envy Alan in this AU waking up to see his homescreen completely destroyed. The two culprits would then have to face a scolding.

... Again.

They then proceed to do the same thing again.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

Debunk this if you can. This person is speaking facts

"jikookers have started entertaining this theory that jungkook is super loud about jimin/jikook while jimin is super cautious and shuts down jikook as much he can, but that seems like such an odd misrepresentation of current events to me. and even amongst more reasonable jikookers it’s catching on as some kind of established fact. in all of jungkook’s recent lives, he doesn’t really talk about jimin at all. he hasn’t told us anything new or recent about jimin. other than elaborating on the rainy day fight (which was an event that took place years ago), he reacts to his content and that’s about it — which is sweet to see, but not particularly romantic. in his lives, jimin doesn’t “shut down” jikook per se but just doesn’t answer questions about jungkook with what shippers want him to hear (that he saw jungkook recently, that he visited jungkook’s place, that jungkook finally made him ramyeon). he’s just answering with what i would assume to be the truth. the last time we saw jikook interact face-to-face was at hoseok’s enlistment send-off, and jimin hugged jungkook so enthusiastically that he got harassment accusations lmfao. before that, it was during the smf pt.2 dance practice posted to bangtantv where jimin asked jungkook to come visit again. jungkook actually said “no” to that, either jokingly or not, but we don’t know if he visited again and that refusal doesn’t sound promising to me. but my point is that jimin’s actions there — when jikook interact in person — are not those of someone who’s being super careful about not letting his affection toward jungkook show. in his last live i’m pretty sure he called jungkook cute, too. all in all, they’re acting as friends do... there’s nothing really all that unbalanced about it. they’re just not acting as lovers probably would. whatever relationship jikook have right now — one that i’m pretty sure is not romantic (or no longer romantic) — it doesn’t seem one-sided to me at all. jungkook can watch all the jimin content he wants; he still didn’t physically show up for jimin at his shoots or recordings like yoongi and hoseok did. he didn’t know what his recording schedule for award show performances would be at all, actually. jimin doesn’t really mention jungkook without being prompted, but he’s certainly not “shutting down jikook” or he wouldn’t act the way he does when they see each other in person. jungkook hasn’t cooked jimin that ramyeon recipe despite them talking about it twice, but it doesn’t sound like jimin has taken initiative there either. jikookers will forget anything that doesn’t line up with their current conception of them."

Hi anon,

This is really weird. If you don't care about Jikook why did you write a novel about them? Just move on.

You had to share this in every Jikook blog since your post doesn't get views in your hater blog, huh? Luckily for you, I am in a bad mood today so I will break down this down so you can shoo away.

Haters are more obsessed with Jikook than we are, for reals.

Debunk this if you can. This person is speaking facts I dont know why I have to debunk someone's THOUGHTS because we are free to think what we want but ok? And thoughts are thoughts NOT FACTS.

"jikookers have started entertaining this theory that jungkook is super loud about jimin/jikook while jimin is super cautious and shuts down jikook as much he can, but that seems like such an odd misrepresentation of current events to me. -All of this is wrong. I don't know a single Jikooker that says that. I think Jungkook is loud and Jimin doesn't shut down Jikook. But you know who says stuff like this? Haters like you. But at the end of the day, I don't care what others think.

and even amongst more reasonable jikookers it’s catching on as some kind of established fact. in all of jungkook’s recent lives, he doesn’t really talk about jimin at all. he hasn’t told us anything new or recent about jimin. -Jungkook doesn't talk about Jimin at all? Is your sound on when you watch the lives? He has definitely told us about UPCOMING Jimin things.

Spoilers for Set Me Free pt.2

Spoiler for Letter

Spoiler for Angel pt.2

other than elaborating on the rainy day fight (which was an event that took place years ago), he reacts to his content and that’s about it — which is sweet to see, but not particularly romantic. -Personally, I find the stuff that Jk is doing insanely romantic. Gosh, seriously?

You don't think Jk being enchanted by Jimin is romantic at all? (Even his body language shows it.)

Or how he smiles when he says his name?

Or how he worries about Jimin?

Or how he will make us all, haters included (even you) sit there and watch Jimin content with him?

Do you have a stones in your heart?

in his lives, jimin doesn’t “shut down” jikook per se but just doesn’t answer questions about jungkook with what shippers want him to hear (that he saw jungkook recently, that he visited jungkook’s place, that jungkook finally made him ramyeon). he’s just answering with what i would assume to be the truth. -I dont know about others, but I dont expect to hear that Jikook is hanging out. I don't even want to hear it. Look, I am more than happy knowing that Jikook is happy together somewhere. I don't need them to prove it to me because they don't owe me or any of us anything. I want them to be safe and happy. I'm not upset at the lives at all. Jikookery is still happening. I don't assume everything to be the complete truth. Like I said, they need to be safe and happy and ommition of some truths could be needed for that.

the last time we saw jikook interact face-to-face was at hoseok’s enlistment send-off, and jimin hugged jungkook so enthusiastically that he got harassment accusations lmfao. -Well, there you go, they were completely open there and Jimin got those nasty accusations. I rather them not show us anything in order for the parasites to not have any content on which to feed on. Oh anon, are you hungry?

before that, it was during the smf pt.2 dance practice posted to bangtantv where jimin asked jungkook to come visit again. jungkook actually said “no” to that, either jokingly or not, but we don’t know if he visited again and that refusal doesn’t sound promising to me. -Read this:

but my point is that jimin’s actions there — when jikook interact in person — are not those of someone who’s being super careful about not letting his affection toward jungkook show. in his last live i’m pretty sure he called jungkook cute, too. -Well, then you haven't seen enough Jikook to know what they are capable of doing. And be thankful for that because then you will write a 10 page essay on why Jikook is not real.

all in all, they’re acting as friends do... there’s nothing really all that unbalanced about it. they’re just not acting as lovers probably would. Sure, anon. Because I also sit and watch videos about my friends and go into an enchanted like state and smile at just the thought of them. And I also grab their privates, and check them out as they are leaving. Yeah, because that's what friends do.

whatever relationship jikook have right now — one that i’m pretty sure is not romantic (or no longer romantic) — it doesn’t seem one-sided to me at all. jungkook can watch all the jimin content he wants; he still didn’t physically show up for jimin at his shoots or recordings like yoongi and hoseok did. he didn’t know what his recording schedule for award show performances would be at all, actually. -What if I told you he did attend? And your thoughts are irrelevant because Jikook will do whatever they want even if you are sure of your absurd thoughts.

jimin doesn’t really mention jungkook without being prompted, but he’s certainly not “shutting down jikook” or he wouldn’t act the way he does when they see each other in person. -You do know that Jimin picks the questions, right? That he could pick 1000s of others but he picked all the Jk related ones? Again, I dont know a single person who says that Jimin shuts down Jikook.

jungkook hasn’t cooked jimin that ramyeon recipe despite them talking about it twice, but it doesn’t sound like jimin has taken initiative there either. jikookers will forget anything that doesn’t line up with their current conception of them." -You do remember the btb for Hobi's enlistment, right? Where they had been together the night before drinking? Maybe they haven't had ramen but you do know that it's not the only food in the world, right? This is all speculation but they can eat anything. The only people angry about the ramen answers are nonJikookers. The ones I know were like "ok".

To be honest, I dont even know what the point of all this ask was. To debunk Jikook? In a Jikook blog...

Look, I don't like wasting my time on things that don't make sense. Yeah, I allow myself delulu thoughts for fun but then I chill and get my head out of the clouds.

You've probably never read my blog but I question random little things about Jikook because for me everything has to make sense.

I have views that other Jikookers don't have because I'm hypercritical and don't romanticize everything. You have to view things with a neutral head. Yours is clouded already. Which is why I dont trust a single thing you've said and I don't trust the majority of people either.

I like things where I have results then I can draw conclusions. This is the way my brain was trained. From what I can see, Jikook is fine at the moment. The evidence is there.

If I have a Jikook blog, it's because I observed and believe they are into each other. The moment I see things changing, I question everything because I'm not going to stick to something that is not real. If I conclude they are not real, I will close this blog and focus on Jimin only. So you coming here to debunk with word soup does nothing.

So how about you debunk all this, anon? Instead of saying only thoughts without 0 evidence.

Thank you for stopping by. Please don't come again.

[deus-ex-mona]

Hey!!

I'm not sure who to ask but I've seen your posts here for a long time and I just wanted to ask what should i do when i'm pretty sure i like this guy and we're classmates but I'm too scared to even talk to him and the only once i've ever done so was when he borrowed my pencil and he smiled at me and i couldn't help but feel my heart skip a beat what do i do should i/can i get over him and my friends say that he's locked in with another girl i'm pretty sure i'm not his type should i even try pursuing him but i haven't even talked to him

THANK YOU SM

hi anon!

i’m so sorry this got too long and rambly; an excessively long answer is right below the cut—

in your situation, i think the best course of action would be to try to get to know him better first. rather than pursuing him outright (romantically speaking), i think trying to befriend him would be a better course of action. since you guys are classmates, you may be able to find a common ground, in the sense that you could ask him for help with homework and try to get to know him better from there.

and, who knows, perhaps you’ll feel differently about him once you actually get to know him a little better. maybe you’ll find that he’s not actually the type of guy you’re looking for, maybe your feelings for him will grow stronger than ever, or maybe you could even get over him completely and become his good pal or something?

of course, it could completely backfire and you could end up as his bestie with a one-sided crush on him while he happily dates someone else, completely oblivious to your feelings. even so, there are plenty of fish out in the vast sea, and maybe you’ll find someone else, all while still being his friend.

though, i do have to say that the simplest course of action would be to just do nothing but (perhaps) pine from afar while (possibly) hoping for your feelings to fade away with time. it’d be easier to think about the endless possibilities of what getting acquainted with him could be like than to actually muster up the courage to approach him, objectively speaking. if you opt to do nothing, though, i think your feelings for him could fade relatively easily once you’re no longer in the same class as him. out of sight, out of mind, right?

at the end of the day, i think it’s fine to have harmless and objectively superficial crushes. they’re just a little part of the experiences of being a youth. it’s all about how you choose to deal with it in the long run. only you can decide whether you’d rather stay in the background and watch him from afar till your feelings fade, or if you’d rather take the plunge and speak to him directly. but, as a disclaimer, i think it’d be a bad idea to make your feelings for him known if he’s already in a relationship. no one likes a disloyal guy after all.

so, in short, i’d say approach him with the intentions of friendship (or maybe even as a study buddy), if you’d like. since it seems like you hardly know him (on a personal level, so to speak). from my experience, getting to know your crushes better is the best way to deal with your feelings. like, maybe the guy only seems nice from afar, but once you get to know him, he turns out to be not what you had expected of him, or something, and your feelings may change accordingly… maybe. but, of course, opting to do nothing about it is fine too! crushes can fade easily, and, who knows, perhaps you’ll fall for someone else while you’re keeping your distance (metaphorically speaking, since you’re physically in proximity with him by means of being in the same class) from him…

regardless of your choice, anon, good luck!!! and remember to focus on your studies!!! crushing on your classmates is cool and all, but your education is important!!

and, well, since this got way too long, i’ll leave you with a tl;dr: you can try to be his friend, or you can choose to forget all about him. but, no matter how you try to avoid it, your education is your top priority!

in all honesty, i’m probably the worst person to seek relationship advice from though (lmao) i’m truly sorry anon

[cellsshapedlikestars]

Don’t worry about answering this is you don’t want to. I know you don’t like fandom wank. But, if you feel like it, do you think someone could make those endpoints work? Bran as king and Jon at the Wall even though there’s a big old hole in it and Dany deliberately burning King’s Landing before Jon or Arya kills her, is that an ending any writer, no matter their skill, could sell to the hardcore fans? I don’t think the fandom would accept it even if GRRM wrote it.

lololol I deleted my post already anon, so for those of you who didn't read it - I was once again whining about how d&d fucked up the last bunch of seasons and every character. it's not a new take, just something I was high thinking in the shower, so I deleted it bc it wasn't productive.

But I'll answer this, because I think it's interesting.

In short - no.

(Beneath the cut for a longer explanation and just a whole bunch of my ranty thoughts. pls remember I am no asoiaf scholar and I haven't studied every aspect of the books or read every meta. These are just my opinions.)

Longer - at this point, too much time has gone by, there is literally no way George can please... probably even half of his fanbase, no matter what he does. From what I can tell, the fandom too divided and there's so much hatred between stan groups (which I do find ridiculous, but it is what it is). People have cemented their own ending in their heads after decades of the fandom existing without an official ending, and I can see a lot of them not liking that they're wrong. Some people have spent 30 years with their theories, it's sunk cost fallacy. Case in point, the show ending being written off as fanfiction by a lot of fans.

which, tangent, I get. I GET why d stans don't believe the ending, because it was so poorly executed. I truly do understand their denial, because the show gaslit the audience for soooooo long that she was the girlboss hero and then seemed to do a 180 at the end. What was that post I just reblogged the other day? I don't hate villains, I hate when the narrative tries to convince you the bad person is actually good.

now, you asked if anyone could make those endpoints work, but I don't actually think most of them are the real endpoints? I think they were D&D giving up and not trying, or going for Shock Value™. But for fun, I'm gonna go by endpoints I think are most to least likely, and my thoughts on how they could happen and how D&D fucked them up.

Bran as king: Confirmed by grrm. How he'll make this work, I have no idea. I genuinely didn't see it coming tbh. I thought the "bittersweet" ending would be Jon being forced to take the crown in KL. like it's a good ending for everyone else, but for him it's misery. I'm sure grrm has his plans, and I'd be interested to see how he pulls it off. This end point does not disappoint me and I'm not mad at being wrong, but I can see a HUGE swath of people HATING it. specifically D stans.

D&D blew this hard. They cut Bran out of an entire season, making him seem to the audience like a lesser character and not important. They made him a robot. Why am I rooting for show!Bran? Also, I will never, ever get over that line - who has a better story than Bran the Broken? I don't know Tyrion, literally everyone else?? JON DIED AND CAME BACK TO LIFE. ahem.

(as far as I'm aware, Bran as king is the only ending grrm has confirmed?? correct me if I'm wrong.)

D as the big bad: I guess grrm hasn't officially confirmed this, but... he's sort of confirmed it, riiiiight? He compared dragons to nuclear weapons. The show has her as the villain (poorly executed or not). When I gave hotd a shot, literally the opening lines were about the Targs bringing themselves down immediately after name dropping her. Seems pretty solid to me. D&D just refused to commit to her villain arc because they didn't want to alienate their audience that they'd gaslit into thinking she was the hero, and they were seemingly obsessed with Shock Value™ twists.

Dany burning KL: I think the burning of KL is going to happen, and it seems like Dany is the only one to really do it? Unclear how it will happen, I'm sure people have theories. What the show didn't have was Aegon, so who knows how he'll factor in.

Arya sailing west: I think there's a lot of foreshadowing for it. It fits her nature. I think this is very likely to happen and I guess D&D handled it ok. They did ruin her character, though, by making her a literal mass murderer. But yayyyyyy feminism I guess.

Theon sacrificing himself for Bran: Theon's was the only arc I think the show did well. They ruined it at the end by having Theon literally throw himself onto the Night King's sword, which was so fucking stupid, but the arc itself is poignant and fits his character. While he can't ever redeem himself to Robb, he can redeem himself to Robb's siblings, and considering he once pretended to kill Bran, I think this is solid.

Cersei and Jaime dying together: this was my theory even before the show ending, and I think it fits their characters. They cannot live without each other, no matter if they hate each other. They're too deeply entwined in each other. Now, I personally wanted Cersei to be taken captive and put in the black cells to be publicly burned later, and then Jaime shows up and mercy kills her and then himself bc he can't live without her.

But I guess getting bonked on the head by some avoidable rocks is also a way to do it

Sansa as QitN: I'll be honest and say I hated this ending because she ended up alone. Sansa, who has wanted nothing more than family and safety since book 1, ends up completely alone. Even Brienne, her sworn shield, leaves her. but she's a queen, so yayyyy feminism I guess.

I can see her as queen, but I can also see her ending up as queen regent for Rickon, because I'm not totally convinced Rickon dies? like in the show he just randomly shows up and gets captured by Ramsay and it just feels like that isn't his arc in the books. Maybe I'm wrong. But I could see D&D having the endpoint of Sansa as regent, but they killed Rickon off already for Shock Value™, and so they went oops! and made her queen.

Now, there is a part of me that thinks she will not be queen or queen regent, because how does one break off and declare independence from their own brother? Feels like that would destabilize his rule and not give people much faith in him. It just seems really strange to me, but I guess it could happen, since Northern Independence is such a huge theme and it would be weird if it didn't happen?? Does Bran just let her secede? And it doesn't make Dorne or the Iron Islands try.... That's the part in the show that literally did not make sense to me. Sansa was like bye, I'm taking the north, and no one else spoke up about that.

I'd be totally fine with her as queen (if she has someone!!) but I can see a gooooood chunk of the fandom absolutely hating this. surprise.

Brienne as Kingsguard: while I like it for narrative purposes, because she deserves it, I just can't see her leaving Sansa, if she becomes as close to Sansa as she does on the show? If Sansa is queen, I could see her as Sansa's Queensguard. But what does she have in KL? The south didn't ever respect her, why would she want to go back. I think D&D put this in so they could have the ending shot of her writing in the book about Jaime for the shippers

Jon at the Wall: the only reason he went to the Wall in the show was because Grey Worm demanded it? And then left. So. You know, real enforceable. So stupid. Genuinely the worst writing of all the endings, I think, the logic made zero sense there. Now, that could be because they'd written themselves into a corner, but knew Jon ended up at the Wall, and had to force it?

But to me, it's like - what was the point of his resurrection, then? In the show, he doesn't even kill the Night King (we'll get to that). He kills D, sure, but... He's also the reason she succeeds in Westeros to begin with. So what, he gets resurrected, causes havoc, fixes the havoc he caused, and then is sent away to a Wall that serves no purpose anymore? WHAT PURPOSE DOES THE WALL SERVE. The Others are defeated, there's a big ol' hole in it, and they've allied with the Free Folk to an extent. How does the Watch continue on?

I guess he could self-banish. I know the show sort of makes the implication that he goes off with the Free Folk, but in the books, he doesn't really like FF culture? He's appalled by a lot of the violence in it. I can't see him wanting to live that way.

Brai.me: don't get me wrong, I like Brai.me. I think it's cute, in fanon. In canon, I think Brienne is too good for him. I don't see their relationship going romantic or sexual. I think Brienne is who Jaime desperately wants to be (but Cersei is who he keeps being pulled back to). Them having sex was 100% for the shippers

Jo/ner.ys: I'm putting all the punctuation in that. don't need them finding me somehow. Anyway. I don't think this happens, at least not as a true romance. They're on opposite continents and there's not a ton of time left, but more than that - and I know I've said this before - I can't see Jon "hates seeing people burned alive" Snow falling in love with D "loves to burn people alive" T. Could it be a political thing? Maybe, but I also could see her having an alliance with Aegon.

I think there's 2 possible reasons for this being in the show and presented as an actual romance. 1) it was supposed to be that pol!Jon theory, but they chickened out (same with jonsa & a love triangle, I think they chickened out bc of the incest. I think now with hotd being incest central and fans loving it, they wouldn't balk anymore). 2) just the spectacle of it? people have been theorizing this for years, why not give it to them? see above, brai.me

Tyrion as Hand: bleh. I know the fandom loves him and he was clearly D&D's fave, but grrm has said Tyrion is the most morally gray character, and I can't see him letting Tyrion get everything he's always wanted, you know? People think asoiaf is grimdark, but I can't imagine grrm punishing Jon with banishment while giving Tyrion a cushy position with lots of power.

I've read the theory that Tyrion ends up at the Wall, which I like thematically, but again, WHAT PURPOSE DOES THE WALL SERVE. Is it just a penal colony at that point?? someone smarter than me, tell me.

Grey Worm & Missandei condoning/encouraging D: hated it. Take the only characters of color to have speaking lines (i'm 99% sure) in the last season and turn them vengeful and murderous (especially grey worm). Throw their characters under the bus to absolve D of blame

Arya killing the Night King: no. he doesn't exist in the books, first, and even in the show it made zero narrative sense. It was just a Shock Value™ twist. You thought it was gonna be hero Jon, hmmmmmm? WRONG. I've said it on here before, but my hope is that it's Sam that brings down the Others in the book somehow.

.

Did I forget anything, anon? This probably veered wildly from the point of the ask, but oh well, it was fun. (I had a jonsa section in here at first, but then I remembered this is show canon ending stuff and that was not canon sorry fellow jonsas. I obvioulsy want it to be the ending bc the shipper brainrot is real, buuuuuut...)

[baronetcoins]

Tagged in 20 questions for fic writers, by the dearly beloved @chiropteracupola

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

94! So far.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

169,588

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Uh that's a good question innit. At the Moment, I'd say I have destiny wips, DSMP wips, 3rd life wips, Henry V wips, and Temeraire wips.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

May Your Days Be Merry and Bright

I will never say the word "procrastinate" again

Who's on first?

I'm something else when I see you

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! A, I know that when my comments get responded to it encourages me to leave more in the future so I try to do so from the other end as well. B, my mom used to yell at me for not replying to her texts because she wouldn't know if I'd read it, and that attitude has carried off into the rest of my life.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Okay for this one I polled my friends because I’m not a good judge of how angsty something is. M, the beta for Oberth Maneuver and half my other works suggested that one, because “you’ve made me cry multiple times w it so”. Kangoo suggested Ophiocordyceps.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh pshh I dunno—I’m only counting stuff that’s longer than a single scene for this, because otherwise it’s not really an “ending”, is it? Gonna nominate either You'll always be my favorite ghost or I felt a funeral.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh thank god, no. A kind of pushy anon once who wanted to know about the next update, but not hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

uh. no. i'm. i'm Very ace. i don't remember people have sex unless I'm reminded of it. I can barely bring myself to write kissing.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

SDKLFJJDSKLFJKSDLJ yeah i write crossovers. My first ever longfic was/is a crossover. I love crossovers. what if I put the guys from one situation in a different situation? Craziest… either Oberth Maneuver for length and investment, dawn breaks (like a fallen vase) for sheer obscurity factor, or then i don't want to be me anymore for mixing perhaps the most incongruous source material.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No! But I really Want to translate I've no language left to say it because that fic is all about language barriers, and I think that would be a fun layer of meta. Someday I'll feel confident to take a stab at doing it in spanish.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah! Let my memory live (but darling, carry on) with Kangoo and Kingstealer.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Henry V/Montjoy, Probably. But IDK.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh eugh I dunno I don't like giving up on Anything but probably the desert duo star wars AU? I liked it and I have ideas for where I want it to go but just..... there are ideas I'm more excited about. You know how it is.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! Dialogue dialogue dialogue. The playwrights I've worked with have mostly given kudos to my ability to write natural-sounding dialogue, and I'm very proud of it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Eugh what isn't. Plots, description... but mostly, like... not rushing through things? I'm bad at letting stuff Linger.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Double check your work but otherwise, it's fine? Shoutout to my buddy Kangoo for being very willing to translate French for me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Destiny! Please don't go back and read those first fics. Don't. they're awful.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ahhh my answer to this changes depending on the day! Right now I'm going to say I'm still here (but all is lost) because I love the way it plays with the metatext of a play. It's Fun.

Tagging, if you wish, @ranababamboo, @bidoofenergy, @jaz-it-up, @kangoo, and @arcaneglitch

[ciaossu-imagines]

Another Bandou ask because of course. Could you write a drabble for Bandō and the reader being snowed in?

Of course, anon dear! Thanks as always for the request and I hope you’ll enjoy the drabble, though I readily admit to disliking it and do apologize as it’s definitely not my best work!

It had seemed like such a great idea at the time. It really had. You’d been out with Shouhei, Bandou, Eric, Fujishima and a couple of friends or the other boys’ significant others, exploring some mountains. The weather was really cold, but all of you had been bundled up and you’d been having a lot of fun. When you’d checked the weather that morning, it had said that the day would be clear all day, with a snowstorm expected to start the next day, so it hadn’t even crossed your mind that snow was a possibility when you’d first seen the little worn-down trail in the snow-dusted landscape. You’d just been eager to find out where it led, to explore and discover something cool and while all the others really just wanted to stick to the better-known areas.

You’d been completely ready to explore on your own, but Bandou had been your hero, as he so often was, and while he obviously wasn’t as into it as you were, he tagged along with you as you went exploring. And it had been so cool…for the first little while at least. You’d seen some interesting things and though Bandou complained here and then for a bit, he’d also seemed to be enjoying himself. Neither of you had realized just how far away from the others you’d wandered, lost in your own little worlds and your own explorations.

Until the snow came. It started off light, almost non-existent and while Bandou had mentioned it was starting to snow and that you guys should probably head back, where it was so light, you’d been so convinced that it was no big deal that you’d pleaded your case for just a little bit longer, just a little bit further, just to see what else you could find. And find you had. Bandou had been the one to point it out, this little leaning, ramshackle cabin hidden in a copse of trees, seemingly deserted for ages. You couldn’t not check it out, with your love of abandoned places. The door hadn’t even been locked and though it was clear that nobody had been there for years, it was still a really cool building.

And it became a building you were all too happy to have found when the snow just exploded out of nowhere, turning from that misting of snow into a full out blizzard in the blink of an eye. The snow fell heavy and thick, the wind picked up and blew it everywhere. When the two of you had gone to leave, it was white-out conditions, to the point where you lost sight of Bandou entirely by the time he was no more than ten steps off the little deck of the cabin. You’d called him back, yelling his name to the point your throat was sore just to be heard over the din of the snow.

“I told you we should have gone back,” Bandou snapped at you now, as he stood by one of the windows of the cabin.

“I already said I was sorry,” you snapped back. You felt so frustrated and so guilty; you hated to have people angry at you and the feelings were intensified only more, it seemed, when it was Bandou mad at you. “How was I know that a snowstorm this bad would happen?”

He didn’t answer, clicking his tongue and staring out the window still. You stared at him for a couple moments, noting the frustration and worry on his face. Could it really be that bad out there now? You hadn’t checked in a bit, so you rose from where you’d been huddled on the floor and wandered over to the other window.

White. White was all you could see now. You couldn’t barely make out the end of the little porch on the cabin and the snow seemed to blast against the windows. Rather than the storm blowing off, it only seemed to be getting worse. Even though both you and Bandou had texted the others, shared your locations with them, it was evident there was no way they could possibly get to you, not with the weather the way it was.

“I don’t think we’re leaving tonight,” you said to Bandou, turning to look at him. “There’s just no way we can make it to the others or that they can get here.”

The scowl on his face only deepened in response to your words.

“There’s the fireplace, it should be okay to start a fire in here without too much risk,” you said, spit balling out ideas. “I’m going to go find things that we could burn.”

So, you searched all the rooms of the little cabin and, shortly after you started, you could hear him walking around, likely doing the same. You gathered things up until you had a full armload, as much as you could possibly carry, and started to head back to the main room of the four-room cabin, arriving just moments before Bandou showed up with his own bundle of burnables.

“Thank you, Bandou,” you said, smiling up at him, trying to make nice with him to put him off his sour mood. Honestly, you’d always had the world’s biggest crush on him and it kind of sucked to know he probably hated you now, for getting him stuck in this situation.

“Move out of the way, okay?” he said as he set down his stuff. “I have a lighter and I’m great at building fires. I used to build all the bonfires for my friends when I was a kid.”

“That works well for me and, honestly, I’m grateful to have you here then. I don’t really know how to build a fire all that well. And besides, that gives me time to go grab something I’d seen in one of the rooms!”

You were up and away in a second, walking fast, before Bandou could even get the question out. He stared after you before shaking his head and turning back to the fireplace. It was old and dusty, but he was pretty sure it was safe and even if it wasn’t, the two of you would freeze otherwise. His hands got busy, stacking and sorting and building and he was just lighting the fire when a dragging sound caught his ears. He stepped away from the tiny flames that were licking their way along the paper, slowly igniting the dry wood, and growing larger, trying to see what was making that noise.

You arrived into view, huffing and puffing a little, face contorted with the obvious effort of dragging an old, yellowed mattress into the room, bundles of fabric tucked between your chin and the mattress and Bandou scrambled to help you. No way in hell was he going to be so unchivalrous as to let a lady do the heavy lifting and he was already nagging you as to why you didn’t get him to help you with that as the two of you pulled the mattress over in front of the fire, now snapping and popping and flickering away nicely.

“It’s not much,” you said, as you dropped the heavy comforter you’d found on top of the mattress, bending over to straighten it out. “But it’s something more comfortable than the floor and this way we can hang our coats near the fire for them to dry!”

You were so proud of yourself for the stroke of brilliance you’d had, when you’d first seen the mattress leaning against the wall of one of the rooms and were honestly more than a little disappointed when you looked up into Bandou’s face to see him biting his lip, his expression stormy. He also looked a little red, though you dismissed that as your imagination or just him getting angry again. Though his next words didn’t sound angry…they came hesitant.

“But…” you watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. “…There’s really only one mattress and it’s not a very big…I mean, there’s no way we’ll both fit on there.”

“Of course, we will,” you said, your turn to scoff now. “I mean, it will be a close fit for both of us, but I think I’ve heard somewhere before that it’s best to huddle close to share body heat anyway in a case like this, to prevent from freezing.”

Bandou’s face was definitely, undeniably red now as he looked at the bed and then at you and for some reason, that redness seemed to be catching as you could feel your own cheeks growing warm. The silence grew heavy in the air, stretching out almost uncomfortably before he turned away from you completely, hastily unzipping his jacket.

“My shirt and pants are kind of damp too,” he mumbled out. “Are yours?”

“Yeah, kind of. They should probably be dried too, if we can. Stay turned around until I get under the blankets then?”

Bandou’s verbal assent to that question meant shit though…he definitely looked, more than once, and you kept almost catching him. But you couldn’t really say anything, as you also definitely peeked a few times before he slipped onto the mattress behind you, wrapping the blanket tight around him.

As you cuddled back into him, feeling his warm body at your back, heard the gasp he gave at just that amount of contact, even though you knew it was wrong, you couldn’t help but think that you’d be okay if the snow kept up…just for a little longer, at least.

[commaclear]

I am not jealous of you Quackity apologist anon. I never will be jealous of you. So what if my darling ÆÆ mistakenly called you stormy? I mean, it’s a bit concerning because me and you have very different typing styles and I thought I made it painfully obvious who I am. But that’s okay because my lover is still learning.

At least now I know I should reach out to them to help em out a little bit. Who knows. Maybe they can help me and Wilbur semi defender with a chart or something. You’d probably be jealous of that wouldn’t you.

I’m not the jealous one here. I’m not the one who continues to talk shit about my ex to avoid them getting with new people after being divorced for longer than I can remember.

No matter how much of an act you put up, deep down you are really just insecure.

When me and you were married, I was practically ignored. You neglected me. And sure I wasn’t the most present spouse, I’ll admit that. We were both at fault. But after our divorce I found out anon marriage could be so much more.

Sure, me and Wilbur semi defender’s marriage has had it’s ups and downs. But me and them have more communication than we ever did. They saw that I had a problem and were upset and hurt, just like you. But unlike you, they didn’t quit on me. Instead, me and them talked and found a solution that worked for both of us.

One thing that I’ve always found ironic is how you reacted when you found out I was cheating and how you continue to treat me to this day. Me and you were married when I analyzed btp. Do you remember btp? Do you remember all that stuff that requires an understanding about perspective based ethics? If you don’t, here’s an excerpt from chapter 15 of bone to pick

Wilbur shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I mean… there’s a lot of reasons? Like, there’s not one, big, catch-all answer.” Quackity turned to look at him. Wilbur couldn’t tell if he was intrigued or just passing a moral judgement; either way he felt the need to elaborate. “Like- like sometimes it’s just a sex thing… like you want more sex or more variety or something.”

“That’s ridiculous though. Why don’t people just talk to their partners?”

“Well most of the time it’s not just sex. I mean you could be really drunk or something, and it’s actually a mistake. Or you’re pissed off, and you’re tryna get revenge by-”

“So change the wifi password or tie all their shoes together or some shit like that. Do something petty that doesn’t destroy all the trust you’ve built.”

Wilbur was quiet for a moment. “Or you cheat because you don’t feel loved and- and you want to feel special and wanted and… and maybe the person you’re with has something your partner just doesn’t.”

“Then why not just leave your partner?”

“Maybe because… you’re scared- No, you’re terrified of being alone and of disappointing someone or hurting them, and so you just ruin everything for everyone instead. Even though you’ve made the same mistakes before, and it never ends well, and you know that- you just can’t help but chase that feeling of being loved, even if it fucks you in the end…” He sighed. “But I doubt you’d get it. Clearly you’re just more functional than the rest of us.”

Now we revisit this in close to the bone when Quackity cheats on his partners with Wilbur. Why did Quackity cheat? You would think an anon who focuses on Quackity would understand, but apparently not. So I guess I’ll just reanalyze this shit for you.

Quackity doesn’t seem to fully understand how Wilbur’s views on cheating could possibly make any sense. Cheating was bad to him. He might’ve been bad at relationships in the past but he had never cheated before. Not until he was feeling like his partners weren’t understanding him. Not until Wilbur had something he couldn’t get from his partners. Not until his partners hurt him to the point that he felt inclined to cheat.

Quackity cheats and then has to deal with the consequences of his actions. He loses his partners and their trust, his paramour who we gave everything up for decided it wasn’t gonna work, and he essentially loses everything. He loses his husbands, he looses Wilbur, he looses his job, he looses part of his eyeballs man. He looses it all.

While he shouldn’t have cheated, when you look at things from his perspective he had his reasons. We’re they great reasons? Not necessarily. But you’re an apologist. So I’m sure you can really understand why he did what he did. And it’s weird that you able to see him as a person but not me.

Do you know why I was unfaithful in the first place? Because you never ever reached out to me. After our marriage, you were hardly around. The only person who was around was ******. And I figured since you were never fucking there you’d wouldn’t notice if I did something. Maybe it was to catch your attention. Have you ever considered that you aren’t the only person who was hurt? Or are you doing what apologists do? Because an apologist can excuse their favorite characters actions, but never would think about how others like them deserve the same treatment.

I’m an analyst. Sure, I have had moments where I failed to understand all the characters. But I’m the end i eventually realize everyone has a side to the story. Everyone has a perspective. It’s like how Htid sally isn’t a horrendous person or how btp techno isn’t a bad brother. Perspectives are important. You call me a flat character but I think you just fail to look at my side of the story.

I feel bad for you, I really do. And it’s unfortunate that me and you didn’t work out. You get Quackity and I love that. When we found each other, we loved the fact that we talked about Quackity. Because a lot of people don’t give him the love he deserves. But now I’m realizing you don’t use that logic for anyone else. Because everyone is deserving of love even if they’ve fucked up. Every character is redeemable if they chose to be.

I think I’ve changed. Maybe not in the way you like, but I’m not trying to please you. I’m with three people who love me and understand that I don’t do well being tied down. Wilbur semi defender anon, dad Schlatt anon, and ÆÆ anon seem to understand me better than you ever did. And I think you’re just trying to hide the fact that you aren’t over our relationship.

All this shit with “cooler” qaa and telling all my partners that I don’t care about them, it really just feels like a defense mechanism. You were hurt and you still aren’t over it. You want to say I haven’t changed, but something tells me you’ve changed less than I have. You just don’t want people to see that. You’re insecure. You couldn’t help me. You didn’t even try. But now that other people have done a better job than you ever could you feel the need to try and drag them down to where you are.

In the drama summary comma wrote, they said you came back from a long journey of self discovery. But the only thing I think you discovered was your reflection in a mirror. Self centered asshole. You didn’t improve shit for yourself other than building up walls and pretending you don’t have issues.

You’re more like Quackity than I am. And you sure do fucking excuse your actions. And I guess that fits. That man’s never been too good at self reflection. But maybe it’s time you try and work on that. Because we all saw how it worked out for him.

So next time you want to come for me, leave them out of this. They’ve done nothing to you. You’re just mad at me and honestly I don’t understand how you’ve still got that much anger left. You’re gonna drive yourself insane if you don’t learn to let go. But that’s really not my problem to deal with

- the Quackity analysis anon

I almost can't believe you came out here and wrote an entire dissertation complete with citations, but at the same time it's completely in character for you

Just wow, I mean great analysis as always but still.... wow

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Sleepovers At The Baji Household feat. A Fed-Up Chifuyu

Summary: Chifuyu just wants to sleep, man, but Baji wants to be a jealous crackhead at 2 AM.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Note(s): I had a little free time and wrote this. So, please enjoy! ALSO, to the anon that sent me a request a few days ago, I saw it and have it filed on my to-do list!!! I will definitely get to it as soon as I get a break in my schedule :)

"Chifuyu, ya wanna see some real discrimination?"

No. No, Chifuyu does not want to see what Baji means by 'real discrimination.'

Does he tell him that, though?

Yes, actually, because it's 2 in the fucking morning and, as much as he respects the other boy, he wouldn't put it past himself to smother him with a pillow after having his dream of cuddling with a sea of puppies suddenly destroyed.

Unfortunately for his sanity, Baji either doesn't hear him or, more likely than not, doesn't give a fuck, because he's already flopping onto his belly and whipping out his phone to do God knows what.

The dial tone that sounds from the speaker a few seconds later makes Chifuyu cringe, especially since it's only ever been a calm silence fit for a good night's sleep prior to Baji bulldozing through it with his absurd question. (At the very least, he's thankful that the latter has half a mind to keep the brightness on the lowest setting, otherwise, Chifuyu would have had to fight.)

On the far end of the row of carefully-laid futons, you shift in your sleep, eyebrows furrowing together at the noise. Rotating onto your side, you unconsciously reach for Baji, and just when he thinks you're being cute and trying to cuddle him, you smack him in the head.

Baji doesn't flinch, instead, takes his pillow and shoves it in your grasp to keep your unconscious self occupied, so that he can focus on getting through to the person who reuses to pick up (understandably so).

Releasing a frustrated groan after being redirected to voice mail for the fifth time, he dials the number again, muttering an impatient, "Pick up already."

Chifuyu feels sorry for the poor soul on the other end. He would've blocked someone following the first call, because again, it's-

The blond has to squint his eyes up at the digital clock on Baji's nightstand, which confirms that it's already 2:22 A.M, further solidifying the fact that he shouldn't be awake right now. And this also applies to the ever persistent first division captain, who insists on bothering who Chifuyu soon discovers is Mikey from the contact ID that flashes across the screen.

Why Baji is so keen on bothering him is a question he doesn't have the mental capacity to ponder over. The most energy he'll expend is to listen in when the call miraculously connects.

"What...?" comes a muffled voice from the receiver, tone laced in an irked grogginess birthed from a slumber rudely interrupted.

There's an absurdly loud, almost angry, roar of Mikey's name, one that has Chifuyu curling in on himself in a futile attempt to escape a sound that should be illegal at this hour.

But you know what else should be illegal?

The fucking whiplash Chifuyu gets when Baji's deep voice takes an abrupt 180°, switching from its normal gruffness to a squeaky, ear-piercing shrill as he screams, "I love you, love you, love you! Do you love me, too, Mikey-kyun~♡?!"

The room is dead silent.

Not a word. Not a murmur. Not a breath.

Just pure, unadulterated silence as both Chifuyu and Mikey process the words that hang in the air, permeating it with a goosebumps-inducing eeriness from having heard such a...a girly, overtly cutesy screech from Baji.

Then-

"What the fuck? He hung on me!"

Chifuyu opens his mouth, thinks better of reacting to the cursed scene he had the misfortune of bearing witness to, and promptly closes it.

Other people may have sleep paralysis demons.

But Chifuyu?

Chifuyu has Baji.

With both hands partially raised in prayer, he begs for the shenanigans to be over and done with.

They are not.

While his eyes remain closed in a last ditch effort to convince himself that it's all a bad dream, he hears a lot of grumbling happening on your side of the room, courtesy of Baji, who's scrambling around in search of...something. One quick peek reveals him fiddling with a phone - yours, to be exact, as evidenced by the distinctive phone charm of your favorite anime character hanging from it.

"(Y/n), wake up for a second," he hears him whisper. It takes a bit of prompting, until he's able to successfully rouse you enough from sleep to elicit any kind of response, which is, essentially, nothing short of an incoherent, slurred mess. Although, Chifuyu is pretty damn certain he heard you call Baji a 'dickhead' for the trouble.

Unperturbed, he continues shaking your limp form, coaxing you into wakefulness with, "Repeat what I tell you, and I'll let you go back to asleep. Deal?"

You squint your eyes at him, only able to make out a vague outline of his visage in the lightless room. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die," he automatically responds with the same phrase he's become accustomed to saying whenever you two made a promise, something done purely out of habit, formed when the two of you were just kids and he wanted to get you to do something absolutely ridiculous either for him or with him. And just 'cause he knows you're more susceptible to complying if he does it, he also interlocks his pinky with yours.

"...Fine."

The approval is his cue to proceed, and it's as he's putting the phone on speaker that he turns back to a regretfully wide awake Chifuyu, mouthing a wordless, 'Watch.'

The phone rings, loud and clear, precisely once and only once.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" It's important to note that even though Mikey still sounds tired as hell, his tone is much lighter, much happier really, than when it was Baji, which is an offense in itself to the said teen that's off to the side, attentively listening to the conversation unfold.

Then, it strikes Chifuyu, what Baji is trying to do, and fuck does it give him an instant headache.

Meanwhile, your mouth morphs into the dopiest of smiles with the pleasant surprise of hearing your boyfriend's voice, chest instantly overtaken by a warm fuzziness that never fails to make an appearance whenever he's involved. Sappy, you know, but it's true!

A light but firm nudge to your shoulder reminds you of your mission. It's too bad that, teetering along the edge of sleep as you are, the words Baji whispers are barely repeated correctly.

The initial phrase from before, the one Baji greeted Mikey with, is shortened to a simple, "You wuv I...?"

But, without missing a beat, you receive Mikey's confident reply of, "Mhm... I wuv you a lot."

There's a sleepy giggle then - a fucking giggle - before your voices drop to sweet whispers that the third and fourth wheels can't fully comprehend from where they are.

"Where the fuck was my 'I wuv you,' huh?!" Baji whisper-shouts, considerate of your conversation even when ranting and raving. "Shit, I would've taken a simple 'I love you,' too! I've known that bastard way longer than (Y/n), and this is what I get?!"

Okay. Toman's president answers his boyfriend's late night calls faster than he does anyone else's and openly expresses his love for him. So what? Chifuyu wouldn't exactly call it 'discrimination,' per se. 'Favoritism,' maybe if you wanna stretch it, but using as strong a word as discrimination, especially taking into account you two are dating; it's normal? Nah.

"You wanna say 'bye' to them? Mm. Baji and Chifuyu." A pause. "Fuyu, Mikey says 'bye.'"

"Bye, Mikey-kun."

The other person in the room waits, and waits, and waits, and when it's clear that there is no intention to address his presence whatsoever, Baji turns to Chifuyu with an almost scandalized expression, making wild gesticulations with his hands, clearly distressed. "See?!"

Blank blue eyes stare back at him, unblinking. Honestly, it's a common occurrence - Baji spiraling in a nonsensical rage - so it's easy for Chifuyu to block out the muted, jealousy-driven temper tantrum as he takes his pillow in both hands, raises it as high as he can, and-

Sigh.

-lets it flop right back onto his face.

He can't suffocate Baji. Shouldn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. After all, they're best buds, meaning he has an obligation to put up with shit like this once in a while. (Plus, he'd probably get his ass kicked before he succeeds anyway. Totally not worth the beating.)

"Did you hear? Mikey said he wuvs me," he hears you drawl dreamily as soon as you hang up, sounding very close to clocking back out for the night.

"Yeah, yeah. Cute shit. Happy for ya, dude," Baji huffs. Thankfully, he sounds like he's in a similar state to yours, if the yawn that follows his sarcastic comment is anything to go by.

"...He soooo ignored you."

That warrants a punishing punch to the arm, dulled only slightly by the combination of the thick quilt you're swaddled in and the raven-haired boy's fatigue.

"I'll fucking throw you out right now, (Y/n). Don't test me."

"You won't."

"I will."

"Won't."

"Will."

The conversation gradually dies down shortly after, the exhaustion that took its sweet time getting to both of you having reached its peak with the help of the childish bickering. It takes 10 minutes, maybe 15, before two sets of light snores fill the room.

Finally.

Let it be known that there is a lesson to be learned from tonight's events. Really, there is. Y'know, something along the lines of 'Don't agree to a sleepover with Baji, if you plan on actually sleeping,' or whatever.

Alas, Chifuyu's consciousness fades before he realizes what it is.

~~~

"Mikey, be honest. Who do you love more? Me or-?"

"(Y/n)."

"But-"

(Y/n)."

"I-"

"(Y/n)."

Baji is only momentarily discouraged, sharp eyes glaring at the blond that lays his head on your lap after hi-fiving you. He didn't want to do this, but he's left with no choice.

"(Y/n) or Babu?"

From the way Mikey stiffens up, refusing to look at either him or you in the eyes, Baji knows he has him right where he wants him, has him torn between a cute face or a sweet ride.

"Oi! Don't pretend to be asleep! Answer the damn question! OI!"

(After hours of serious contemplation - even though you told him it doesn't particularly matter - it's revealed that, of course, Mikey loves you more. Babu just happens to trail behind as a very close second.)

[arse-blathanna]

what kind of relationship do you think roche has with non-humans in general? do you think he despise them, hates them or doesn't consider them admirable beings? or none of those things? from what we have in game he seems to be pretty chill with them and his hatred is only targeted towards scoia'tael (which is still bad) but i don't know...(also out of topic love your yenralt fics <3)

(before I go on a massive tangent or twenty, I'm happy to hear that you like my yenralt fics <3)

First off I have to apologize for making you wait, anon. I wanted to give this answer a proper rundown but I didn't have the Spoons to do it earlier. Not to mention writing long replies on mobile sucks and I hate doing them that way. So sorry for the wait, hope this answer will satisfy you. Also buckle in, this ended up significantly longer than it needed to be so I'm putting most of the answer under a cut. Hope that's alright, anon.

TLDR: Roche is not particularly concerned with the rights of non-humans either way, his problem is with scoia’tael methodology more than anything else. However despite not having any particular interest either way he’s also surrounded by racism as background noise and doesn’t show any particular problem with it. It’s just not what he’s interested in. In Roche’s own words, Temeria, that’s what matters.

Content warning for sexual assault later down in the post.

My point of view on Roche's relationship to nonhumans is that it’s well, complicated. Mostly because the only times we see him really dealing with them is in the context of fighting Iorveth and his men. Outside of that context (and the driving force there is always much more heavily focused on Scoia'tael Bad than anything else) it isn't a topic that actually comes up that much.

His core character trait, above all else, is his patriotism, whether that comes in the form of intense loyalty to Foltest, going on a warpath to save Anais, or doing anything and everything that it takes to see Temeria survive another day. Fighting the Scoia’tael is just a part of fulfilling that goal, not really the whole of his interests or motivations. That's not to say that Roche is making good choices, or right choices, or just choices.

He's very much a character who can lean back on the line of "I was just following orders" with regards to fighting the scoia'tael and pacifying Mahakam, whatever that might have looked like. Could he defy those orders? Maybe, possibly. Probably not since we're shown pretty consistently that the punishment for desertion is death and that's all over the games and the books. Not that Roche exists in those books, but it's a line of consistency across the books-games canon we can refer to.

If you're familiar with the concept of the banality of evil as proposed by Hannah Arendt, I think it's a good angle to examine Roche from but I'm also not at all qualified to have that discussion. At all. Still worth considering, if you're willing to do some extracurricular reading for your fandom horseshit. Worth reading regardless, actually.

Anyways, back to our man with the stupid hat. His core goal is Temeria's stability, and that's shown to us consistently throughout Witcher 2 and 3 (though because we know that Iorveth was demoted to Cut Content in Witcher 3 it's likely that there was quite a bit for Roche regarding the Scoia'tael and evolving motivations that we just never got to see, just to address that particular elephant in the room.)

We're told that the Blue Stripes are meant to be the human equivalent of the Scoia'tael. Misguided, needlessly brutal, extremists who have a habit of leaving a bloody smear wherever they go. The Scoia'tael are considered in-universe to be a terrorist organization. I think it's this, above all else, that Roche is opposed to because if his core goal is Temeria's stability, a terrorist organization is a pretty big threat to that.

Yes, their cause is good, but their methods are poor and routinely lead to non-humans who aren't part of their cause being punished disproportionately because of assumed connections. We see this in Witcher 2 with the gallows scene. Of the four people on the gallows, only 1 isn't assumed to be scoia'tael and that's Dandelion. Zoltan and the two others? All assumed to be members of this group. Zoltan has in fact been contacted by Iorveth's commando, but also specifically turned down the offer of a command. Still treated as a member regardless by Loredo's men.

If you take Roche's path in Witcher 2, Zoltan doesn't end up loving the experience, but he does end up hanging around the Blue Stripe's camp until there's the chance to cross the fog with Geralt. So at the very least Roche is willing to offer accommodations to a non-human, and when it comes to Geralt he's pretty genuine (if wary) and even friendly.

Since it’s the one time where we see Roche really involved with fighting Scoia’tael, let’s talk about Flotsam actually. There’s clearly history where he’s been there before, but we aren’t told much about it other than that Roche is harsh with the Scoia’tael, he and Iorveth have been going at it for at least four years, and both have some massive hate-ons for each other. The plight of non-humans in Flotsam is poor, Loredo’s men police them heavily, and most live outside the city walls. The non-humans in Lobinden and Flotsam also consider Iorveth and his men to be extremists, with Cedric in particular having left that life. To say that they’re saviors to the people they claim they’re protecting in the eyes of those people is a bit of a stretch.

Roche and his men show back in Flotsam on the only lead they have in Foltest’s murder. Roche is in work-mode, his main interest in the Scoia’tael being that Iorveth is involved in assassinating Foltest (that Iorveth and the scoia’tael are being used isn’t on anyone’s radar quite yet.) He’s not particularly interested in getting Iorveth and lets his men harass the locals, destroying shrines and whatnot. He doesn’t take issue with Loredo for his treatment of the non-humans, but he does take issue with the man’s willingness to sell Flotsam to Kaedwen, thus compromising an important port along Temeria’s border. It’s that which makes him act to take action against Loredo, nothing else. 

Even with the issue of Moril, the elf woman who Loredo kidnapped (and if I remember correctly is implied to not be a unique case) and her baby, Roche is more or less indifferent. With Moril dead, the baby is left behind. Roche doesn’t particularly care what happens to the baby, referring to it as a half-breed and only wondering who might take it in. Geralt’s the one who makes sure that the baby ends up somewhere safe. Roche has gotten what he wants, Loredo is dead and Temeria is safe from him and the Kaedweni spy he was consorting with.

In chapter two if the player chose Iorveth, Roche’s anger isn’t directed towards Geralt hanging around elves, it’s that he’s chosen “a group of thieves and bandits.” That’s what he thinks of the scoia’tael. If you take Roche’s path instead, he goes to Vergen to fight, but he’s not looking to fight the non-humans in Vergen so much as he is with Geralt trying to figure out what’s going on with the sorceresses and Henselt. Where he has the chance to gut Henselt as an act of revenge, if Geralt chooses to let him.

Speaking of that act of revenge, we should probably talk about Ves and what his most trusted person in the universe being Ves has to say about both of their characters. Because we know that Ves would follow Roche anywhere, and we know that Roche will fight tooth and nail to make sure she survives.

If anyone has good reason to hate the scoia’tael and elves, it’s Ves. She’s been through absolute hell, with her backstory implying that after her entire family and village was slaughtered by a scoia’tael commando, she was taken and kept as a sex slave as a teenager and only escaped because Roche and the Blue Stripes found her. He took her under his protection which is enough to earn a great deal of loyalty, but it’s not as though there aren’t shared values. Here’s what she says on this topic:

GERALT: Is your hatred towards the Scoia'tael some sort of revenge?

VES: You don't know me, Geralt. Human or nonhuman - it makes no difference to me. We were chosen to fight the Scoia'tael, and that's the mission we pursue. To me, the Scoia'tael are but bandits hiding out in the woods. If there were humans among them, I'd kill them in a flash just the same.

Not exactly the words of someone who categorically hates elves.

That’s not to say that Roche isn’t surrounded by people who dislike elves, because he definitely is. It’s the background noise of the Blue Stripes, it’s one of his men spitting at the sight of a half-elf baby. He gives his men free reign to terrorize Flotsam and only seems to tighten the leash when they’re camped directly alongside a Kaedweni camp. Whatever his feelings on the topic are, he’s not compelled enough to stop this behavior. Common folk hate the Blue Stripes, and that’s because of how they behave, and that behavior is allowed under Roche’s command.

Compared to the characters that we know do actually hate non-humans Roche is pretty pale by comparison. When it comes to Radovid and the Witch Hunters, he’s directly opposed to them (though again, his interest isn’t necessarily non-human rights as much as it is Temeria.) He’s not as bad as Loredo is, we don’t actually see him ever going out of his way to punish elves or dwarves. He’s against the Scoia’tael, but otherwise... just indifferent.

The best point of comparison to Roche’s character is probably Black Rayla in Thronebreaker and Witcher 1, and even compared to her (who is, at least according to CDPR’s canon a half-elf) Roche comes off as significantly more lax where non-humans are concerned. And even Rayla claims to be opposed to scoia’tael as opposed to non-humans.

Indifference in situations like this gives power to the oppressor rather than the oppressed, but that’s where he is. Is it right? No. But it’s where he is.

Lastly I just want to talk about the function of writing Roche in this way from a more Doylist perspective which is: if you make a character that Geralt (i.e. the player) is meant to possibly side and sympathize with, you can’t make them too much of a bastard. It’s a pattern that we see in the two witcher games where Geralt is asked to pick a side between Scoia’tael and Temeria/Order of the Flaming Rose. The elf commanders are usually assholes, but their position is that they’re trying to save their race from extinction.Despite Iorveth and Yaevinn being mean, they’re automatically sympathetic due to their cause.

On the other hand we have Roche and Siegfried of Denesle, who are on the wrong side. To make the player sympathize with them, it’s a matter of sympathizing with their characters as opposed to their cause. For instance, if you want players to sympathize with the Order, you’re asking the player (and by extension, Geralt) to be on board with a guy who time traveled and decided that the best way to stop the White Frost was to do some genocide. If Siegfried himself, your main point of contact is sympathetic, it’s not as hard of a pill to swallow (and even at the end of Witcher 1, Siegfried himself is directly opposed to the Order’s apparent endgoal.)

Roche’s cause isn’t as bad as the Order’s, to be clear. But he’s still in the wrong where the rights of non-humans are concerned. His focus is on maintaining a certain status quo, at least until he goes off the deep end and gets driven by a little revenge. The scoia’tael and his conflict with Iorveth are set dressing, it’s just not what he’s about. He wants to protect his kingdom and his people. He wants to serve Foltest and his crown, and protect what’s left of his line. Nothing else.

Because as Vernon says in Witcher 3: Who cares about the Scoia’tael anymore? Temeria- that’s what matters.

[seka1-k0k0ro]

hello hello! i saw that you take requests so i thought it'd be great if i make a rq of my own :D

can you make like a kageyama & tsukishima [separate] crush hcs? like how they react to realizing that they have a crush on the reader and how they confess to them? ty in advance :>

-sincerely , 🍙anon ♡

hello 🍙 anon, welcome <3

when i read this i was like AWWW THIS IS SO CUTE! def what i needed. i also added a song that i believe the boys would religiously listen to while they’re crushing heavily

also, sorry it’s taken me so long, it’s currently midterms so i have exams bUT after they’re done i’ll be posting much more regularly 💓

oh, no! i hope i don’t fall!

tsukishima & kageyama x crush, gn!reader

cw: none :) fluffy goodness

[lowercase intended]

tsukishima kei

this boy is hopeless

an enemies to lovers is really the only way i can ever see this bitch falling in love

you two bicker in class a lot and the entire school loves to revel in this

you both happen to be in the same friend group (tsukki, yama, you, yachi) so you spend lots of time together

he realizes he has a crush on you after a heated debate at yachi’s sleepover and you end up winning

there is silence on his end after you said your last bit, and you grin while saying, “what? cat got your tongue, pretty boy?”

tsukishima swore his heart recreated the big bang in his chest.

he knew then that he need to confess to you, but there was a problem…how in the hell was he gonna do that?

"this is bad. this is really really bad. how in the hell am i going to confess to her? does she even fucking like me? she probably jus-" tskuishima ranted on and on while yamaguchi sat there with an unimpressed look on his face. the pleasure and curse of being both you and tsukishima's best friends was getting the inside scoop on the lovesick couple. "yamaguchi, please don't sit there looking at me like that. what the fuck am i supposed to do?" yamaguchi sighs heavily both concerned and over it.

"i don't know what to tell you tsukki, but you're going to have to do this on your own. you're the one who knows her best after all." tsukishima ran his palm across his face knowing that the answer yamaguchi gave was the correct one but not what tsukishima wanted to hear. after a moment of silence for tsukishima's crippling ego, he nods grimly.

"you're right." yamaguchi slaps the magazine he's holding against the bed.

"you're acting like you've just been told to jump off of a cliff to save the world. quit acting childish before someone else gets to her first." with that, yamaguchi got up and left. little did yams know, something sparked in tsukishima's head; he knew exactly how to confess to you.

for the past week, tsukishima has been acting weird and distant, more than usual. he's been softer, and his mean retorts have been less frequent. one day after lunch, you're digging through your bag to find a paper for a class when you find a green envelope. the note inside invites you to visit the gym afterschool and after volleyball practice it's signed by tsukishima which rocks your world.

crazed thoughts flood your brain, and you can barely focus for the rest of the day until the final bell. you have afterschool errands which you should be done with right before practice ends, and as soon as your teacher gives you a final goodbye, you race to the gym.

you look at a clock on your way there, and practice had just ended. you arrive at the doors, winded and tsukishima smirks at you. "it seems like you need to work on your stamina, y/n."

"it seems like you need to shut that big mouth of yours tsukki." you laugh, happy with your kinda sucky comeback, and tsukishima flusters, no longer able to keep it in.

"y/n, i really like you." tsukishima's instant thoughts were, 'nice going asshole, you ruined the plan. why'd you say ‘really’ now you just sound desperate. could you have-'

you interrupt his thoughts by blurting out, "i really like you too," with a blush on your cheeks. you step up to him and lace his fingers with yours. "i really do." tsukishima felt something in his heart melt, and he couldn't help but smile at you.

this is not that bad. no, this is actually really good.

song: ik this man listens to all of ikon’s sad love songs bc he believes he’ll get rejected ☹️

kageyama tobio

lost cause #2

you’re the school’s well known book nerd like you could fuck up horribly in any class but always receive a perfect score in literature

people are lining up to get tutoring

and, you’re in luck because kageyama is in dire need of one!

oh this poor baby is so bad the first day you tutor him, you actually laugh at him

you tutor him on tuesdays and thursdays, and one thursday, he had to give a private volleyball lesson to a little kid right after your session, and he left his jacket behind

he realizes he has a crush on you when the next morning he hears your voice yelling for him through his headphones

he turns his head, and he sees you running up to him

the moment he spots you, a random love song begins to play on the radio station he listens to

his heart fluttered and sank, to where he thought, 'am i having a fucking heart attack right now?"

kageyama is the type to blurt it out by accident, and then run away and avoid you, which is exactly what he does

"tobio!" you catch up to him, and kageyama takes the jacket outstretched towards him in your hands. "here's your jacket. you left it at the library yesterday.” you set the jacket in his outstretched hand, the other still occupied with hold his earbud.

“thanks,” he mumbles, confused.

“i- um, i washed it! I didn’t know whether or not you wanted it back like that but-“ you rambled

“no, it’s alright, thank you,” he said suddenly speechless in front of you, when you, normally, make him feel so comfortable he could spew anything and you won’t judge him for it. you notice this and he sees your eyebrows furrow.

“is everything alright, tobio? did everything go as planned yesterday?” he stayed silent, continuously looking between his jacket and you.

“you did really good at tutoring yesterday!” you rub your hand on his arm in hopes of consoling him. when it comes to his confession, there really is no build up; it completely smacks you in the face.

“i think i have a crush on you.” your soothing hand comes to a stop.

“w-what?” the realization of his words set in and he bolted into the school. you sat there confused replaying the last couple of seconds in your head debating if he really said what he just said.

it’s now tuesday, and kageyama has been ignoring you all weekend, plus he avoided you all day yesterday. you’re waiting in the library and you have the sinking feel that he is not going to show up…which he doesn’t.

you’ve had enough. you’re going to confront this man whether he likes it or not. you plan out to crash his wednesday volleyball practice since he believes he has the right to miss your tutoring sessions.

"tobio!" you yell. he goes to set the ball back to hinata when he falters at the sound of your voice. his eyes meet yours, and he panics. kageyama turns on his heels at lightning speed, but the third years stop him before he can fulfill his escape plan. you ended up right in front of him when you get between him and the three third years.

"y/n! i can explain, really," he stammers, and you let him ramble. after you'e thought he's had enough of embarrassing himself. you engulf him in a hug.

"tobio, you really need to stop being so thick in the head and listen." you pull away and cradle his face gently in your hands. "i like you too." tobio really did believe in magic then. his world turned pink, and he swore you were emanating a faint yellow glow; it was like you were the sun to his earth, and he'd be a cold wasteland without you.

he hugged you again, with a big sigh like all of his stresses had been lifted off of his shoulders.

song: this is the song that kageyama would be listening to when you ran up to him hehe.

[frostedfaves]

Dark Paradise

Masterlist

Pairing: dark!WandaNat x fem!reader

Summary: You meet the infamous Avengers on spring break with your best friend Peter, and two of them seem to adore you more than expected. Requested here by my lovely 🐞anon.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY!!! dark themes, manipulation, mind control, blackmailing, age gap (reader is 21), dubcon (saying this just to be safe because Wanda uses her powers for evil a lot here), smut: oral, fingering, penetration/sex toy use, voyeurism (kinda), edging, overstimulation (if I forgot something please let me know!)

A/N: hi this is 6k words, which is the longest single fic I’ve ever written/posted here haha. also the end is not technically the end, if you know what I mean. anyway this took forever to write so enjoy this super far from canon fic and please tell me what you thought!! (also if you’re on my taglist and you weren’t tagged it’s because your age wasn’t in your bio)

-

“Here, let me take that for you,” Peter offers when he notices you headed toward the car, and you hand your suitcase to him with a smile.

“Thanks, P.”

You close the car door behind you after getting in on the passenger side, instantly reaching for his phone resting on the dashboard once you were buckled in. The two of you had an unspoken rule that you controlled the music whenever you traveled together, so his library was filled with various playlists you’d created simply because you didn’t trust him not to listen to the same five songs for the rest of his life.

“This is different,” Peter comments as he gets in on the driver’s side and catches the opening notes to an upbeat song. “I thought you were going to go with something calmer to help you sleep, like you usually do.”

“Well, I’m not usually going to meet the Avengers, so I’m too nervous to sleep.” You turn to pout at him as he drives off. “Is it too late to cancel?”

“Don’t even think about it. If I show up without you, everyone will think you’re imaginary.”

“Do they think you can’t make any friends outside of Ned?” you question as you open a bottle of water. “Because they’re not wrong.”

“I can make friends!” Peter whines and a quiet snorting sound escapes you. 

“You can’t use me as an example.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not actually friends.”

He picks up on your teasing nature and rolls his eyes, causing you to laugh as you lean back and settle into your seat more. You had well over three hours to stress about spending a week with the world’s most popular superheroes, and you’d rather be comfortable while you do so.

-

“Wake up, we’re here!”

Your eyes fly open at the sound of Peter’s voice, and any of the nerves that left long enough to let you sleep made a U-turn and hit you again, full force. Sitting up straight in the seat, you practice breathing properly while stretching and taking a look around as he pulls into the garage.

“Are you okay?” Peter asks once he parks, placing a hand over yours as he meets your gaze and you smile.

“I’ll be fine, P. I’m not gonna miss out on hanging out with you just because your super family is super intimidating.”

“Good. Besides, it won’t even be that bad! I’m willing to bet $1 million that they’ll love you.”

“I appreciate your optimism,” you tell him as the two of you get out of the car. “But you’re going to regret that bet when I use your money to retire early in some faraway rural town.”

Peter carried both suitcases as you made your way to an elevator, and you jumped when you suddenly heard a male voice.

“Welcome, Mr. Parker and Ms. L/N.”

“What is that?” you questioned as you faced Peter with wide eyes and he chuckled. 

“You’re hearing Jarvis, Mr. Stark’s AI. Hey Jarvis, can you take us to the common room, please?”

“Right away, Mr. Parker.”

“This is so cool,” you comment as you look around the suddenly moving elevator. “How does it know my name?”

“Knowing everything is kind of its job, I guess.”

“Underoos!” a voice calls as soon as the doors open, quickly revealing itself to belong to Tony Stark as his gaze lands on you next. “So she is real.”

“I told you!” Peter defends as you step off the elevator together. “Mr. Stark, this is Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, kid,” Tony greets you with a shake of your hand. “I’m glad he found you. I was starting to worry that he’d build a robot to spend the rest of his life with.”

“I’m just his best friend, so it’s still possible.”

“Is this your friend, Peter?” Steve cuts off Peter’s response as he enters the room, moving to shake your hand next. “I’m Steve. Nice to meet you.”

“Okay, I’m going to show her to our rooms and then we’ll be back for dinner,” Peter tells everyone once you’d been introduced to Pepper, Bruce and Clint as well, and you’re about to head for the elevator again when someone interrupts.

“How about we take her down to her room instead?”

Your eyes widen as you watch none other than Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff enter the room hand in hand. Natasha’s hair seemed much longer than the last time she’d been in the public eye, but her all-knowing smirk was just the same and her green eyes were even more piercing in person. You noticed a bit of red glowing in Wanda’s eyes, which faded as she probably realized you’d seen, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that meant she hated you already.

“I know what you’re up to, Red.” Tony seemed accusatory as he pointed a finger at the pair. “You can’t bribe her into helping you cheat tonight.”

“Maybe I planned on giving her tips for surviving this testosterone filled tower.” 

Natasha steps forward and grabs your hand with her free one, and with a flick of her wrist, Wanda has your suitcase floating in front of you as they lead you into the elevator.

“Sorry to whisk you away like that,” Wanda apologizes as the doors close with her head tilted to see you past Natasha. “We’re just excited to meet a new woman here.”

“No, it’s okay!” you insist breathlessly, your nerves slowly returning as Natasha lightly squeezes your hand. “I’m actually really excited to meet the two of you.”

“You know who we are?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that I know you personally, but I know that you’re one of the original team members.” You make eye contact briefly with Natasha before turning to Wanda. “And because the news stations somehow get ahold of everything, I know you joined after you helped everyone stop Ultron before he could create that indestructible body and destroy the world.”

“Yes, that’s true. Although I wish I could’ve saved my brother, too.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you lost him...or that you even had a brother.”

“It’s okay,” Wanda assures you with a smile as she lets go of Natasha, shifting to the other side of the elevator to grab your free hand. “I asked Fury to keep Pietro a secret because I didn’t want to see or hear any negative opinions from people that never even met him.”

“And we have plenty of time to get to know each other,” Natasha chimes in as the doors open to reveal a new setting. “This is our floor. We set up a spare bedroom here so we can spend time together away from the boys...when you’re not with Peter, of course.”

“Yeah, that’d be great!” 

They lead you past their living room and kitchen, and you shamelessly admire the simple decor with little personal touches spread about. Turning into a hallway, Natasha walks ahead of you and Wanda to open a door to a bedroom.

“What do you think?” she asks with a smile that widens upon seeing your expression. “I’m guessing it’s good, then.”

“It’s perfect!” you cry out as you walk past to enter the room, immediately noticing the eggshell colored walls trimmed with your favorite color along the borders. “Wow, this is four times the size of a normal bedroom. Wait a minute.”

“Do you like it?” Wanda asks when she sees you pick up the glass figurine on the nightstand. “Peter mentioned your love of this animal and I have a whole collection of them from different places.”

“Like it? I love it! I have the same one in my dorm room!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can get you a different one.” She steps forward as she brings your suitcase to the floor beside the bed and you hug the small object close to your chest. 

“Like I said, it’s perfect,” you assure her with a grin, which brings one to her own face.

“Well, I’m glad you’re happy with the set up. When you’re ready to head up to dinner, we’ll be waiting by the elevator. Also, if you ever need anything, our room is right across the hall.”

Natasha points to the closed door a few feet away, and you acknowledge her statement with a nod before they leave the room, closing your door nearly all the way behind them. You flop down on the bed with a dreamy sigh as you gaze up at the ceiling with a night sky painted on it.

“I don’t think I’ll ever want to leave this place.”

-

On the elevator ride up to join everyone for dinner, Natasha and Wanda take turns asking you questions about your classes and any friends you’d made, what you liked to do when you weren’t studying. You had to admit that the level of interest they had with you was shocking but flattering, especially when they insisted you sit between them at the table to continue your conversation.

“You don’t seem to be nervous anymore,” Peter acknowledges as you sit down, and Wanda faces you immediately.

“Were you nervous about meeting us?”

“Well, yeah,” you answer timidly, avoiding catching anyone’s curious glances by directing a glare toward Peter. “You might be normal people in here, but to the rest of the world, you’re portrayed as powerful and untouchable beings.”

“Maybe when they’re not talking about how much damage we’ve caused,” Bruce mumbles under his breath as the elevator doors opened again. 

“I’m here, I’m here!” a voice calls as footsteps hurry toward the dining area, and Sam Wilson is revealed as he rounds the corner. “Sorry, I’m late. I was--”

“On a date, we know. You only told us that 500 times.”

“Don’t be jealous, old man. You’re married.” Sam grins at Clint as he sits next to him before his attention turns to you. “Do we have a newbie?”

“No, Mr. Wilson. This is my best friend, Y/N.”

“Call me Sam, kid.” He smiles at you as he goes for his silverware, and you’re just about to acknowledge him when his expression suddenly turns serious. “I’m sorry. You’re not a kid. You’re an independent and capable adult, and I should address you as such.”

“What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know.” Sam clears his throat and shakes his head as if he was clearing his mind. “I just suddenly felt the need to correct myself…You have any powers we should know about, Y/N?”

“No!” you quickly respond with widened eyes. “I wasn’t going to say anything, actually. I’m pretty used to older people calling me kid by now.”

From your left side, Natasha asks Clint to recall an embarrassing tale for you and the table livens up again, but you can’t seem to move past the unsettling way Sam shifted gears from calm and casual to uptight and disciplined. The image stayed with you through the rest of dinner even after he seemed to fully recover, until dishes were cleared away and replaced with games, and you suddenly had a lot more to focus on.

“I just don’t think it’s fair that he gets to be on your team again when I haven’t had him once.”

“Is anything fair with the guy who could use his personalized AI to cheat for him?”

“Could I do that? Yes. But have I done that? Maybe.”

“Wanna grab some fresh air with us?” Natasha suddenly asks you, causing you to frown.

“Aren’t we about to play another game?”

“It’ll take them another half hour before they finally decide something,” Wanda assures you as her fingers thread through yours gently. “We have plenty of time, and they won’t even notice we’re gone.”

They lead you by the hand to the elevator once more, going up a few floors before leading you out onto a balcony. Because you were so much higher than most of the surrounding buildings, there was an incredible view of the sun that was probably minutes away from disappearing to the other side of the world. The air is chillier than when you’d arrived, but you had to admit that standing in the cool breeze is worth a few goosebumps on your skin. Your hands are released as you reach a bench near the ledge, and you climb over it to sit as the other two women settle on either side of you.

“Why did Peter decide to share his secret with you?”

“Technically he didn’t,” you recall with a laugh. “He’d gone out to deal with something that activated his spider sense or whatever and I came to his dorm room to sleep after an exam because I was too tired to walk all the way to my place. Anyway, I walk in at the same time he’s coming back in through the window, and I swear we both sat there for a full two minutes before either of us could think of anything to say.”

“It’s still very nice of you to keep such a big secret for him,” Natasha praises, and your laughter quiets down as you take in her words.

“I guess I just know what it feels like to not want your life to change drastically because of one thing.” Your gaze shifts between the women for a moment. “That reminds me, I wanted to ask--”

“Wait, look at this!” Wanda quickly cuts you off with an enthusiastic grin. “You’re about to witness one of my favorite things about living here.”

She directs you to lean over and look at the streets as the sun finally disappears over the horizon, and you can’t help the small gasp that escapes you. Street lights begin turning on at what seems to be the center of the city and quickly spreading, increasing the radius of well-lit neighborhoods by the second. It was a mesmerizing sight that--until every lamp was on--nearly made you forget the question you were building toward.

“That was so cool!” you express honestly before clearing your throat awkwardly. “So I wanted to ask if the two of you were dating...or in a relationship or whatever. I mean, I don’t want to assume anything of course, just wondering because you share a room and floor, and you seem to be really into holding hands.”

“Well, I’d never really been into holding hands or a lot of other forms of affection before I met Wanda, but she seemed to flip some switch inside of me.” Natasha admitted with a bashful chuckle as she glanced at Wanda before turning to study you. “And your hands are so perfect to hold.”

“To answer your question, we are together.” Wanda rests a hand on your thigh and casts a sweet smile in your direction when you face her again. “Natasha was the first to give me a chance after everything with Ultron, and initially I thought I was just feeling grateful to receive some type of positive attention from someone other than Pietro. It wasn’t until Tash called me out on staring at her lips that I realized I wanted more than friendship.”

“The only reason I did was to confirm she was feeling the same things I’d finally come to terms with myself.” Natasha chuckles as Wanda sends over a bit of red mist to squeeze her own thigh. “What about you, love?”

“What about me?”

“Do you think you’re feeling more than friendship for Peter?”

“Oh no,” you quickly denied with a chuckle. “He’s the perfect example of a great boyfriend, but not my boyfriend. Plus I’d rather not have the same experience as MJ did.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, the ‘close friends to a relationship that ends with each person pretending the other doesn’t exist’ experience. I’d rather not.”

“Yeah, that does sound messy,” Natasha sighs as she subtly rests her hand on your other thigh. “So you’re not looking for a great boyfriend. What are you looking for then?”

“Nothing really, at least until I finish school, but having a girlfriend would be nice. I’d like to be with someone that respects me and can take care of themselves when I’m not around, because I tried the ‘caring for someone’ thing and it sucks when they don’t put in the same effort that you do.”

“Maybe you should try someone older, more mature,” Natasha suggests as she shifts to squeeze your knee lightly, and you start to feel a bit nervous about where she’s going with this. “Maybe two people that already have their shit together and would go to the ends of the earth to please you.”

“Okay, um…” You push both of their hands away with a bit of difficulty. “You both seem great and you’re incredibly attractive, but I’m not really interested.”

“Don’t worry about it, detka.” Natasha pushes your shoulder down as you try to get up, and Wanda cups your cheek with her hand.

“You may not be interested now…” She stands with Natasha and leans in to kiss your forehead, letting her lips linger on your skin as she continues. “But you will be.”

She pulls away and winks before lacing her fingers through Natasha’s as they leave the balcony, and you gasp in air as the tension they’d built seems to exit behind them. You finally decide to head back once you’ve taken a few minutes to catch your breath and calm your shaking limbs, but you wonder how long the calm will truly last.

-

You found yourself waking up suddenly and practically flying into a sitting position as if someone had pulled you up, but luckily the room is empty. You sit for a moment to catch your breath and survey your surroundings to assure you’re truly alone, and you notice your door is cracked right before you hear an unidentifiable sound.

“Fuck.”

Despite every fiber of your being screaming at you as one would do to a character in a horror film, you decide to climb out of bed to investigate what you were hearing, justifying your actions with the excuse of seeing if your floor-mates were in danger, as if you could save them. A few seconds after opening your door fully and peeking out made you realize that they were more than okay.

“Fuck! Right there, please don’t stop.”

“Such a dirty mouth, malyshka.”

You’re quick to return the door to its cracked position, leaning against the nearby wall with wide eyes as you attempt to process the image across the hall. The bedroom door sits wide open, giving you the chance to examine every inch of bare skin of the two women spread across the bed, Wanda resting on her arched back with her hands in Natasha’s red hair buried between her legs. Her moans seem to raise in volume, pitch and frequency as she’s brought closer and closer to the edge, and you ignore the warm feeling in your lower abdomen as you hurry back to bed and throw a pillow over your exposed ear.

-

“Good morning.”

Your free hand quickly shoots upward to catch your water glass as it slipped through your fingers in your moment of shock, and you try not to make a deal of hearing two sets of footsteps headed toward the kitchen.

“How’d you sleep last night? I know how scary it can be to rest your eyes in a new place.”

“I think I did pretty well,” you answer quietly as you step away from the fridge and lean against a section of the counter that faces out into the rest of the room. “The bed’s really nice.”

“You’re lying,” Wanda accuses as she crosses the room, eyes turning red and hands lifting toward your face.

“What are you--”

“Couldn’t sleep because of us, right?” She chuckles when you go limp under her touch, and Natasha ducks between the two of you to save your glass for the second time. “Did you enjoy hearing us that much?”

“You did sound really good,” you tell her with a drowsy smile as she pins you against the counter to keep you from falling.

“I bet you wish you were in my place, don’t you?” Her tone is light and teasing at first, becoming a bit stern as she shifts to push her thigh between your legs and you instantly roll your hips against the pressure. “Or maybe you want to taste me while Natasha fucks you?”

“No.”

“No?!” she fires back immediately, leaving a red mist around your temples as she grabs your waist with both hands to keep you grinding against her. “You mean you don’t want to cum right now?”

“Well, now that you mention it…”

A breathy moan escapes you as your eyes flutter closed, and if your head wasn’t being forcefully held in place, it would’ve tipped backward. You feel what must be Natasha’s fingertips grazing along your jaw and tracing a line down the side of your neck and toward your shoulder, repeating the gentle motion as goosebumps appeared all over the exposed skin.

“Is everyone decent?”

The fog behind your eyes seems to clear in seconds, and you blink in confusion when you open your eyes to see Natasha and Wanda making coffee nearby. You try to recall even coming into the kitchen, but everything from the moment you stepped into the bathroom to get ready is a blur, so you shake your head and reach for your glass of water on the counter as Natasha responds.

“Come in, Peter.”

“Morning, everyone,” Peter greets cheerfully as he enters the kitchen, his grin falling when his eyes land on you. “Are you okay?”

You open your mouth with the full intention of telling him that you are not okay, not when you were missing at least an hour of memory, and bits of last night were slipping away from you too. But before you could speak, a cold feeling seems to pass through the back of your skull to slip into your brain, and a switch flips.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” you respond with a chuckle. “You worry too much, spiderling.”

“The world’s a stressful place,” he grumbles when you playfully ruffle his hair. “Anyway, are you ready to go soon?”

“Where are you headed?” Natasha quickly asks with a frown. “Y/N hasn’t even had breakfast yet.”

“We’re meeting Aunt May, so we’ll eat with her.”

“I just have to grab my bag,” you explain before heading down the hall to your temporary room, feeling the chilly sensation leaving you as you get further away from the kitchen, and it thankfully doesn’t return when you head back. “Ready.”

“Have fun!” Natasha calls as Peter heads for the elevator again, quickly grabbing your wrist once he’s out of sight. “See you tonight, printsessa.”

Her hand quickly shifts to grip the back of your neck as she leans in to kiss your cheek, and the two women are wearing sweet smiles as you turn away from them to catch up with Peter, attempting to shake the shell-shocked expression from your features.

“You sure you’re good?”

“I’m fine,” you insist as the doors close, in hopes that you really would be fine.

-

Meeting Peter’s aunt was much more of a pleasant experience than you expected, and it was obvious she adored you by the way she spoke to you, although part of you felt she was just happy Peter had more people around to love him. Your day was cut a bit short when MJ unexpectedly approached Peter, requesting to talk to him, and Aunt May offered to drive you back to the tower so you both could escape that awkward mess of a conversation.

“It was so great to meet you today,” you tell her with a grin as you take off your seatbelt.

“Likewise, honey. You have my number so just call me if you ever need anything, okay?”

She pulls you into a hug over the middle console and you thank her again for the ride as you get out of the car, trying not to seem too nervous when you notice Natasha and Wanda standing in the lobby. Your plan was to walk past them without speaking, but you should’ve known that wouldn’t work.

“Why was she hugging you?” Natasha asks coldly as you enter the building and you sigh.

“She was just saying goodbye--wait. Why am I explaining myself to you?”

You keep walking until they’re no longer in your peripheral, stopping abruptly as a red mist surrounds your legs, and your eye-rolling is cut short when Wanda appears in front of you and grabs your chin harshly.

“If Tash asks you a question, you answer.”

“Without attitude,” Natasha adds, which makes you want to roll your eyes again.

“Sorry, I didn’t get the rules handbook when I arrived. Can I go now?”

“You know what?” Wanda cuts off Natasha’s angry response with a smirk. “You can go.”

The red mist surrounding you disappeared, and despite the suspicious feeling that washed over you, you continued on toward the elevator with your head held high. You refused to let them get to you.

-

It was subtle at first. A slight tingling between your legs that you couldn’t seem to get rid of. In the very beginning, you were worried that something was wrong until you realized where the feeling was coming from when it turned into slow circles around your clit as you caught up with Peter in his room. By dinner, there was the added sensation of fingers curling inside you at a steady pace, and you hoped no one would notice your hips slightly bucking under the table as you attempted to repeatedly chase a release that never came.

A movie follows dinner today, and you make sure to cover yourself with a large blanket because you were still being edged and you couldn’t stop moving at this point. You even try to slide your hand into your sweatpants to finish the job yourself, and your jaw clenches in anger every time your fingers lock up because you know who’s responsible.

“Okay, you win!” you announce as you walk into the kitchen on Natasha and Wanda’s private floor, not missing the look shared between the two women. “I’m sorry I was rude earlier. Can you please just stop teasing me?”

“How about we help you finish instead?”

You should decline. You should just say ‘no’ because letting them finish you off tonight will turn into an attachment that you know you don’t want, nor are you ready for. Inviting them in will be equivalent to selling your soul, and you’re not sure you want to put a price on it. But the ache below your stomach is persistent, and if they won’t let you touch yourself, someone has to do it.

“Fine.”

“Don’t be so grumpy about it,” Wanda teases as she grabs your hand and starts leading you toward their bedroom. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

She pushes you back onto the surprisingly large bed as soon as you’re close enough, instructing you to take off your shirt and bra while she watches. Once your top half is completely exposed, she leans forward to run her hands from your shoulders down toward your nipples, circling them with her thumbs until they harden.

“I don’t like being teased.”

“Oh, you don’t?” she asks in a mocking tone as she reaches for the band of your sweatpants and pulls them down, placing her palm over the wet spot in your panties. “Then what’s this?”

“Please,” you beg through a quiet moan, bucking your hips again when she presses her thumb against your clit through the fabric. “Please just fuck me already.”

“Patience, detka.”

You watch with wide eyes as Natasha and Wanda both strip away their own sweatpants, revealing the toys tied to their legs. Natasha goes to untie hers while Wanda uses her powers to rip away your ruined panties in one fluid motion.

“There she is.”

Natasha puts her hand on Wanda’s back and forces her to bend over, and you bite your lip as her eyes flutter closed and mouth falls open while Natasha thrusts into her. You’re just about to grab Wanda’s hand to lead her where you want, when her eyes open suddenly with a glowing red surrounding her pupils, and your wrists are bound together over your head by an invisible force.

“Did you forget who’s in charge here?”

“Don’t get too cocky, malyshka,” Natasha reminds her as she grabs a fistful of her hair and slams into her, causing Wanda to moan and giggle at the same time.

“My apologies, Tash.”

You couldn’t help your sigh of relief as Wanda finally slid two fingers inside of you, her thrusts deepening each time as Natasha fucked her toward you with her hands on her hips. The sounds coming from your mouth and between your legs were embarrassingly loud, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as she brought you closer and closer to the edge, until a loud whine escaped you as she removed her fingers and delivered a slap to your glistening folds.

“Tell me who this belongs to,” she orders through her own moans, holding you down when you begin grinding into her hand. “I’m gonna cum regardless of what you do, so you’d better answer. Be a good girl like I know you can.”

“Yours!” you cry out finally, sighing when Natasha leans into your line of sight with a brow raised. “It’s yours and Natasha’s.”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

She slips back into you without warning, and your back arches off the bed as she finally brings you to orgasm. She continues to thrust into you as you whine and squirm away, luckily slowing down and finally stopping as Natasha makes her cum a minute later, leaving the strap inside of her as they both catch their breath. Wanda pulls out of you and sits up to lean against her, holding her hand up between them as they both clean your cum off her fingers with their tongues, and you sit there clenching around nothing as you watch.

“You seem tired,” Natasha comments as her eyes land on you again.

“Too bad we’re not done.”

Wanda flips you onto your stomach with a quick motion of her fingers, using her hands to pull you by the waist until you’re on your knees at the edge of the bed, and she holds one side of your waist as she delivers a slap to your ass this time. Her touch lingers as she pulls away to free her own strap, and you nearly fall over when you feel the tip of the toy rub against your clit.

“Wait, let me fuck her this time.”

You hear their soft laughter as they switch places, sharing a kiss in the process, and you gasp when a hand wraps around your neck and pulls you up against Natasha’s chest.

“I like having you this close to me, printsessa,” she whispers in your ear, chuckling when you melt against her as she pushes the tip of her strap into you. “How many times do you think I can get you to cum?”

Her grip on your throat is loose as she allows you to adjust to the size, tightening suddenly when she slams into you once, twice, until every thrust is at a rough pace that you wouldn’t be able to handle if she wasn’t holding you against her by the waist. You feel that same tingling circling your clit again, occasionally traveling upward to tease your nipples as well, and it wasn’t long before you were releasing a strangled scream as you climaxed.

Natasha eventually stops thrusting into you as your legs shake, and you breathe out another sigh of relief when she allows you to fall onto the mattress. However, the relief is short-lived when you realize that she only paused to let Wanda push into her from behind, and it wasn’t long before the two of them found a rhythm that was pleasing them and ruining you.

Your wrists are freed as Natasha pulls out of you some minutes later, and you collapse onto one side of the bed with your body aching a bit from a third orgasm, your eyes only halfway open as you watch the pair. They remove the straps from their waists and set them aside, and you become a bit more alert when you notice Natasha grab what seems to be a double-ended dildo.

“No more. I can’t,” you mumble tiredly as your wrists are bound by Wanda’s power again.

“One more, and you can,” she tells you as she flops onto the bed beside you, and that red mist surrounds her fingers again as she guides you onto your knees to hover above her face. “You wanted to cum, so you don’t get to run from this.”

Her hands grab your waist and pull you closer, and you release a shuddering moan as her tongue runs past your hole and over your clit, teasing it a few times with the tip of her tongue before diving in to wrap her lips around it. She alternates between sucking your clit and slipping inside you as Natasha climbs on the bed behind you to position herself with the new toy. 

“Fuck,” Wanda attempts to say once Natasha begins thrusting, and you fall forward as the vibration of her moans become too much, whining when Natasha slides her hands over your breasts and pulls you back up again.

“Take it all like a good girl.”

She keeps pulling until your head drops against her, and she moans against your neck while she kisses and sucks on your skin, bouncing faster on Wanda who groans loudly in response as she attempts to match each thrust. The hums of her voice has you grinding against her tongue, and you yelp when Natasha bites down just as Wanda brings you over the edge. She keeps going despite your protests, managing to get you to cum once more before they finally do.

You lie there with your bones feeling like jelly as you’re covered with a blanket minutes after everyone’s bathroom trip, too tired to even fight for sleeping in your own bed as Natasha and Wanda slide in on either side of you.

“You did so well tonight, detka,” Wanda praises as she strokes your cheek with a loving stare. “I can tell you’ll be a great addition to our relationship. I knew it from the moment I saw you.”

“I’m not doing this again,” you insist as the smile fades from her expression. “I’m not getting in a relationship with two women that don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, and I’d prefer sleeping in my own bed.”

“You’re already in a relationship with us, printsessa,” Natasha growls as she shoves you back down when you try to get up, and you push her hand away.

“There’s nothing you can say that’ll make me want to be with you.”

“It’s not about what you want to do. It’s about what you have to do.” She grabs your phone from the nightstand, and you’re somehow not even surprised when she unlocks it on the first try. “Because it’d be a shame if someone was to tell Peter about all the nudes you have of him.”

You snatch the phone from her grip, eyes widening as you scroll through your camera roll, finding naked pictures of Peter scattered throughout it. You check the date on the oldest one and began to feel nauseous when you saw it was taken not even a month after the two of you met.

“Don’t think you’ll be deleting those either, because we can replace them and make things worse.” Her smile was falsely sweet and troubling as she grabbed your chin to force you to make eye contact. “We’ve gone this long without having you, and we’ll do whatever it takes not to lose you.”

-

Tags: @cordeliaswhore @egotisticalstoner @muralskins @natasha-danvers @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @madamevirgo @teenwonder @honeyvenable @slut-for-nat

[thesolferino]

Hell On Earth

⤷ dream x f!reader.

⤷ genre: fluff

⤷ word count: 3.2k

⤷ requested: yes, by this lovely anon!

— summary: you barge into clay’s office to complain about his broken air conditioner, unaware that he’s streaming.

Florida was hell.

You liked to say it as a joke, during October when the rest of the world was freezing, during December when the insane temperatures finally went back under control, and the sun granted you its blessing of a refreshing gust of wind every now and then. You liked to say it as a joke, mostly, but God, did you mean it whenever summer would creep around the corner and you’d get reminded of why you told your boyfriend so often that the devil must’ve left hell, came down to America, and bought himself a nice penthouse in Florida.

It lived up to its title of the hottest state in the US, by far, considering the hellish temperatures that constantly made you dizzy whenever June rolled around. You had great air conditioning in your apartment, though, and as soon as the sun started burning skin, plants, water, and everything in its way, you and your college roommate would lounge at your place as the air conditioner blew cold wind and thank the lord (and the person who invented AC, bless his heart) for providing you with at least one blessing during these trying times.

So, of course that as soon as summer came about, your air conditioning conveniently broke.

Your roommate was out of the apartment within two days, flying to her family in Wisconsin, bidding you farewell as she left you to cook like a raw chicken in your shared apartment. Thankfully, you had a boyfriend - and what a boyfriend he was.

You don’t like to brag, but at these moments, you feel grateful to the universe and whoever else is looking over you for providing you with a rich boyfriend, with quite a big, echo-y house, and air conditioning made of pure heaven. As soon as your roommate packed your bags, you packed yours too, - if one backpack filled with makeup, your laptop, meds, underwear and hopes that he’d let you steal all of his clothes could count as “bags” - locked the apartment and left, ready to leave the AC on snowman temperature for two days minimum and ignore all his complaints.

Bad luck seemed to follow you everywhere, though, because you were there for merely three days when the air conditioning started stuttering.

You were sprawled on the cold sheets of his bed, listening to the low hum of the AC as you scrolled through your phone, his white T-shirt sticking to your back, the cold air cooling the sheen of sweat that covered your body, leaving goosebumps all over. One of your fingers started lazily petting Patches’ stomach, and you could faintly hear Clay talking in the background, the sounds coming from his office.

“Thank you for the gifted subs! Um, yeah, it’s really hot here, I can barely, like, breathe in here. I have the AC on at highest, but all it’s doing is giving me a headache. Even-even my water bottle is completely hot.” You heard him rant and chuckled, turning on your side and continuing to scroll through random videos.

You sort of tuned out his talking, knowing he’d most likely be cooped up in that office for hours before your shared dinner, and started watching random YouTube videos, ignoring your surroundings as you shoved your earbuds in your ears. 

The longer the videos lasted, the more you felt like you were suffocating. The heat crawled up on you slowly, sneakily, almost unnoticeable yet undeniably there, hand made up of pure fire gripping at your throat tighter and tighter. It started off seamlessly, with you rolling around, trying to find a new cold spot on the sheets, to pulling at the shirt, trying to create cold air to soothe you, to wiping the sweat that basically covered your entire forehead, when your eyes finally peeled away from your phone and you realised you were basically choking in the heat, feeling like you’re breathing fire. 

You lift your head off the bed way too quickly, head pounding, and look at the one thing meant to save you from this madness - just to see it leaking water down the wall, barely coughing out any air. Your head miserably falls back down on the bed, hands rubbing at your face, dangerously close to both crying and screaming in distress. After a few moments of self-wallowing, you get up and make your way over to your boyfriend’s office, being met with nothing but silence as you walked to it, happy he ended the stream so you could complain and wail to him, possibly cool down using the AC in his office. 

You slam the door open, seeing him hunched over in his gaming chair, Minecraft open as usual, and as soon as he takes one headphone off, turns around and sends a surprised but oddly panicked gaze your way, you start ranting.

“Babe, you won’t believe what just happened.” you said, rubbing a hand over your face again, eyes closing as you feel the coldness - in comparison to the living hell that was his bedroom right now - of the room wash over you. You don’t even let him speak before you continue.

“The fucking AC in your bedroom just broke. It’s leaking right now.”

Clay looks like he wants to say fifteen words at once, and the first one that comes out is: “What?”

“I swear. I was watching something on my phone, and I realised it’s crazy hot, so I looked up and realised it’s broken. Why does this happen to me!” you complained, and he tried pulling his headphones off for a second but instead pulled the cord out of the computer entirely, letting you hear everything that goes on in his headphones.

It’s silent for a second or two, before you hear a familiar voice.

“Dream.” you hear a British man with an awfully posh accent speak, and your eyes meet Clay’s in pure horror and realisation, when you slap a hand over your mouth. He looks as equally terrified as you, but also disappointed, because oh, that’s why he looked so panicked when you stormed in.

Then you hear another voice, equally British, but higher pitched. They laugh. “Is that Drista?”

Clay seems to snap back into reality, turning around towards the computer and adjusting his mic before speaking. “No- it’s- Tommy she said babe, why would Drista call me babe?”

“You’re so stupid, he was trying to help you.” You hear his long-time friend, Sapnap, deadpan, and you can practically feel all of them freaking out, while you stand in the doorway in horror, cheeks heating up despite the fully working AC.

Another laugh. “No, I wasn’t, I was genuinely asking. Why- Sapnap, why would I be helping Dream?” 

“Dream, you are so stupid.” you hear George laugh into his mic and your boyfriend immediately starts stuttering, trying to defend himself.

“How-how am I stupid?! She’s the one who walked in, what was I supposed to do?” you lean against the doorway as he defends himself, head buried in one of your hands.

“Mute!” you hear Sapnap borderline yell, almost mad. 

“Wait- I don’t get what’s going on- Does Big D have a girlfriend?” you hear the British boy, Tommy, ask, and all of them go silent for a few seconds before a loud, screeching laugh breaks out through the speakers, and when Clay turns around to look at you, all you can do is mouth an apology as you almost break out into laughter at how ridiculous the whole thing is.

“Oh my God, chat is going crazy right now.” George says while Tommy is laughing his lungs out in the background, still.

“Did you actually- did she actually- oh my GOD, Dream has a girlfriend! I can’t believe this!” Tommy keeps on laughing, coughing between sentences. “Dream stans, I am so sorry, this must be just a terrible, terrible day for you all.”��

“You’re probably already trending on Twitter, dude.” Sapnap adds, sounding more worried than your own boyfriend did at the moment.

“It was bound to happen at some point, I guess.” he huffs out, turning around to look at you every so often, gesturing for you to close the door and come in, which you did, guilt weighing you down as you moved.

“Are you serious? Can I- Can I speak to your girlfriend, Dream?” you can practically hear the grin in the boy’s voice and Clay doesn’t even turn to you before replying.

“No, you can’t.” 

“Oh, come on! You let me speak to your mum but not your girlfriend? Just for a little bit, please? I just- I just wanna see which lucky woman managed to get the attention of the Minecraft God, Dream himself. That’s it.” Tommy asks and you don’t even have it in you to laugh because of the anxiety that eats away at you, but then Clay sighs. 

“...Fine, I guess.” he looks up at you. “D’you wanna speak to Tommy?” 

You’re not quite sure what the expected answer is, but you shrug, gaze darting from his eyes to the computer, and then back to him. “Um… I don’t mind, I guess.” 

You hear him sigh and plug the headphones back into the computer, handing them to you. “Alright, she said yes. Here you go.” he stands up out of the chair and lets you sit, placing the way too big headphones on your head as your heart races, standing closely by your side as you roll the chair further towards the desk and microphone.

“Um… hello?” you shyly speak, and you hear something like groans of mixed annoyance, confusion and nervousness coming from George and Sapnap as Tommy starts laughing immediately, greeting you loudly. 

“HELLO, DREAM’S GIRLFRIEND!” you hear him yell in response as your shaky hands land on the keyboard, moving his character left and right. 

“Is the AC really broken?” Sapnap asks and you hear George laugh in response, considering how unimportant that information is right now. You know both of them, obviously - you’ve talked to them more than a few times, joining in on their jokes when Clay talks to them on speaker, growing as close as one can with their boyfriend’s friends.

“Yeah, it is. The AC in here is really good, though. Maybe I should stay and just take over the Dream channel.” You joke and they laugh.

“Yeah, I mean it would probably be better. A woman owning the Dream channel would make it so much better. The views would skyrocket.” Tommy says and you see his character walk up to you before he randomly laughs again.

“I can’t believe- I can’t believe Dream actually has a girlfriend. Is he, like, paying you to do this, or are you really…” he trails off and you giggle at his question, switching tools in the hotbar as you try to figure out how to play the game again.

“No, he’s not. We are dating, yes.” you confirm with a nod, and you feel Clay’s elbow sink into the chair, almost trying to listen.

“Say 1 if he’s keeping you hostage.” he says and you laugh again, shaking your head.

“No, he’s not- he’s not keeping me hostage.” you reply and you hear Clay go “WHAT?” right behind you.

“Well, of course, of course, I mean, who could ever pass up dating the great Dream. With all those subscribers, and Twitch primes, and Minecraft skills. Did- did his Minecraft skills get you?” Tommy asked, but before you could even respond, Sapnap jumped into the conversation.

“Oh yes, absolutely. She loves it. Yes, Dream, speedrun faster!” he sarcastically replies and for a few moments the whole call is blown into loud laughter, screeching and yells before it quiets down.

“Yes, what Sapnap said. I was so impressed, he just blew me away, with um… with his, um, Manhunt skills? I dunno, I don’t play Minecraft.” you hear him laugh at “Manhunt skills” behind you as the rest of the boys start laughing too.

“Dream’s girlfriend doesn’t play Minecraft?! What?! Dream- how could he allow this, seriously…” Tommy argued dramatically, his character staring at yours - or rather Clay’s.

“I can’t imagine if we were both Minecraft players, that would be a nightmare.” you replied.

“Why?” you heard George laugh through the headphones.

“Who do you think peels him away from the damn computer? If I was just like him we would never get out of the house, probably.” you argued.

“Dreamfriend, what is Dream like, you know, in real life?” Tommy spoke up and you heard George giggle again.

“Dreamfriend?” you repeated, a grin forming on your face at his stupidity, finally deciding to move the character around and switch back to the sword in the hotbar.

“Yes! Dream’s girlfriend, Dreamfriend, Dreamgirl, Girldream, whatever you like.” Tommy said and you laughed.

“Dream girl… if I wanted to get clout off Dream I’d use that, that’s genius.” 

“Thanks, I know I’m a genius, everyone tells me so.” Tommy claims and you shake your head, checking your boyfriend’s inventory to see if there’s anything interesting in there.

“Alright, I’m gonna check on the AC, I’ll be back in a second.” Clay says to you, before lowering himself to the mic so the boys could hear him. “Tommy, don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

“Oh you know it, big man! I’d never!” Tommy yells back, despite Clay being unable to hear him, and he leaves the office with one last, quick kiss to your temple.

“Is he gone?” Tommy asks, and you nod and hum, despite him not being able to see you.

“Okay, so you don’t play Minecraft, right?” he asks.

“No, I don’t.” you reply.

“So there’s this really cool thing, right. If you just go in and type /op tommyinnit, there’s this thing that’s gonna-” Tommy doesn’t get to finish his sentence before he’s cut off by Sapnap, whose character suddenly appears in front of you.

“No, no, no, no, don’t trust him, you should-” Sapnap cuts in, but Tommy still loudly protests in the background.

“BE NICE TO OUR GUEST, SAPNAP! Let her do what she wants! She is Dream’s girlfriend after all, the most powerful woman.” Tommy claims and you laugh, sort of blushing from all the attention. You don’t even dare to check the chat or the donations that come in from Twitch, because it must be blowing up by now. As if he can hear your thoughts, George speaks too.

“Oh my God, Dream’s already trending on, like, five different spots on Twitter.” he says, and you instinctively grab your phone to check, before you can even think about it.

“What?” you and Sapnap both say in sync.

“Yeah, ‘Dream’ is trending #2 worldwide, and ‘Dream girlfriend’ is #4.” he lets out a shocked laugh.

“Oh my God…” you mutter out in both excitement, nervousness and dread as you open Twitter and confirm that George is indeed correct. You don’t even dare to press on either of the trends, simply turning off your phone with a sigh and moving back to stream.

“Wow, you’re famous now! How does it feel?” Tommy asks and you let out a quite dry laugh.

“Amazing. I can feel my value as a person increasing as we speak.” you respond sarcastically and hear George quietly laugh in the background.

Just then, you hear the door to the office opening again, but you ignore it because Tommy starts speaking.

“Okay, well, I’m sure that must be very fun and exciting for you, but I really will need you to type in /op tommyinn-” 

“No! I’m not listening to you, Tommy! I’m not about to type in some stupid command and get yelled at!” you cut in, but he keeps on whining.

“Come on, we know Big D would never yell at his… beloved girlfriend! Listen, just do it, I promise he will not be mad.” he argues.

“What does /op even mean?” you ask out loud, and suddenly Clay is yelling behind you. 

“Who is asking you to op them? Give me the headset!” he says, one hand already tugging at the headphones as you laugh while Tommy panics.

“Well, it was fun talking to you guys, but I have to go. Bye!” you bid them farewell and heard George and Sapnap say goodbye as well while Tommy yelled, and you took off the headphones and passed them to Clay who immediately put them on and adjusted them, plopping back into the chair. You left, moving to the living room to process everything that happened and abandon your phone for the next few hours because you were not ready for that type of attention in the slightest.

You laid in front of the TV, watching random shows on Netflix and grabbing a few snacks from the kitchen while you could still clearly hear him yelling and streaming, wondering how he’s still going as if nothing happened. The temptation to check what people were saying was overwhelming to the point your hands were itching to grab your phone and open all social media - before you even realised it, you were on the trending page again, thumb tapping on the “Dream girlfriend” tab. 

You braced yourself for the worst, but that’s not what came at you - sure, there were a couple of tweets telling people to lay off you, and delusional shippers getting ratioed, but they were mostly positive, lighthearted jokes, from single people making jokes about how a Minecraft YouTuber can get bitches but they can’t, to people calling you cute/funny. One hate comment obviously stings more than a million positive comments make you happy, but they were mostly misogynists calling you annoying for the roughly five sentences you spoke on stream or shippers disappointed that their favorite YouTuber isn’t gay, so you didn’t really let it get to you. 

When the house finally quieted down the sun was lowering itself into darkness and melting into a pot of blinding orange and golden honey, and you heard Clay’s footsteps when he finally turned off the stream, stepping into the living room a few seconds after you heard him. He sat down on the couch next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to him, sitting there in silence with you.

“So… that was something.” he finally broke the silence and you nodded.

“It really was.” 

Another beat of silence passes.

“I’m sorry, baby, but I really need you to stop breaking all these ACs.”

“I’M NOT THE ONE BREAKING THEM-”

“Sorry, but I’m noticing a pattern here.” he wheezed, obviously just trying to get you riled up as you pulled away so his hand gets ripped off your shoulder.

“Shut up. You better have called someone to repair that damn thing, cause there is no way we’re sleeping in there without an AC.” you huffed, and he shuffled closer to you, arm wrapping itself around your shoulders once again.

“I did, they’re coming by tomorrow.” he assured.

“Tomorrow?” you asked, looking at him in disbelief. “How are we gonna sleep tonight?”

“Who says we have to sleep?” the glint in his eye and the stupid grin plastered on his face tells you everything you need to know, and you roll your eyes.

“If we fuck, I’ll actually die of overheating. Absolutely not.”

“Well in that case, I need to get that AC fixed as soon as possible.”

[nemeseos-noctua]

Hey darlings! Can I request Xiao, Albedo and Diluc separately carrying reader around for a day because of a bet they lost? Love yall! <3

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: diluc, albedo, xiao (separate) x gn!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: not proofread

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: THIS TOOK SO LONG I’M SO SORRY ANON (i was busy and didnt feel like writing anything for like a month ☹ but im back and ill try and write more, esp since my school year ends in like a month and a half)

oh you could see so much 

Diluc was so tall.... it was great 

“is this what height feels like?”

despite you enjoying every second of it, the pyro typhoon was slowly suffering

HIS REPUTATION !! WHAT HAPPENS TO HIS REPUTATION ???

the answer is nothing (except that Donna is jealous and pissed)

“How much longer are we going to have to do this for?”

“The whole day, obviously! That was the bet!” you cheered, clearly enjoying where you were currently. His suffering for your enjoyment.

The red-haired man sighed and continued walking around, eventually drifting over to the giant tree in the middle of Windrise. 

He stops next to the base of the oak tree, slightly lowering himself down. You weren’t exactly surprised that he could carry your weight, since he wields a giant claymore as a weapon, but you couldn’t feel not just the tiniest bit bad for him.

you guys were playing a guessing game as Diluc took a shift at Angel’s Share last night

“how much is venti gonna drink tonight”

you won, obviously

that damn bard drank at least 50,000 mora’s worth in dandelion wine

HE DOESNT EVEN PAY FOR IT IN MORA 

and thats how you lose money in a business, children

You lowered yourself off of the man’s back, assuming that’s what he wanted. 

“Hey, sorry about the bet...” you trail off, taking a seat on the grass and letting the wind graze your face.

“It’s fine. A bet is a bet.”

“Yeah but--” you stopped. There was absolutely no way that you would win this debate. 

The pyro user looked at you after a few seconds of silence. You usually talked a lot more than this and strongly believed in sharing your thoughts, so what was stopping you now?

“You know what? Let’s just go to the winery and take a walk there together.” You begrudgingly got up from your spot from the cool grass and started to walk in the direction of the winery.

There were a few hurried steps coming from behind you, assumingly from Diluc, but you paid no mind to him. He probably just didn’t wanna leave you behind--

“Woah-- hey! Diluc, wh--”

“A bet is a bet.”

you found yourself on his shoulders this time

dude really ran up and lifted you onto his shoulders

like dipped under you

mans said “woOOP” 

you would kill him but hes too hot for that 😉

You sighed.

A bet is a bet. 

you were taller than the alchemist

not by much, but it was enough that it was wacky as hell

(i hc that Albedo isn’t super strong so he’s struggling even tho he’s a sword user-- tbh i thought that he was a catalyst at first lmao)

it’s so funny because Albedo is literally holding you like a baby being burped while doing some sort of experiment

“Stop kicking before I spill something on the both of us, (Y/N).”

“No.”

The blond sighed and continued to work on some kind of potion. 

It was comforting to be in someone’s embrace again. How long’s it been? Years, maybe...

And soon enough, you fell asleep while the scholar cradled you in his arms. 

i can assure you that he was FREAKING OUT

he was scared that he would wake you up if he put you down on the bed that the he occasionally would sleep on (he survives on caffeine)

but he needed to do this experiment 

like... NEEDED to 

“../N)..? (Y/N), wake up.” You whined in response, not really processing anything that was coming out of Albedo’s mouth. “You won’t be able to sleep later tonight if you continue with your nap.”

“..what time is it..?” you let out a large yawn and covered your mouth. Since you had just woken up, your brain had refused to function properly. And with that, it took you a while to realize that you were laying on a bed. 

Albedo was still working on something (you weren’t sure what) but stopped to wake you up.

he’s cute

but he almost blew up

impressive how you didn’t wake up

“Only around sunset. Come, I’ll make dinner.”

the least i could say is that Xiao was not pleased.

HE WANTED TO COMPLAIN SO MUCH

but he didn’t wanna hurt your feelings 🥺

karmic debt was nothing compared to you feeling sad /j 

karmic debt is horrible :( poor xiao

also being in crowded places was not fun for him

LANTERN RITE !!  he did think that the xiao lanterns were cute 

“Ooh, ooh, look! It’s a food stand,” you excited pointed out from on the yaksha’s back, “wanna get something? There might be almond tofu!”

“Only if there’s--”

“--almond tofu. Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s the only thing you can stomach. Mr. Dream Eater...”

That must’ve struck a chord in him. The “young” man kissed his teeth, showing a hostile attitude that he had never done to you. 

“Just because I agreed to let you win doesn’t mean that I won’t go back on it.” 

secretly he didn’t 

he really enjoyed your company and hates everyone else 

funny because he desires company and love but WHATEVER !

xiao loves you in some type of way 

he adores you and all of your stupidity

and sometimes you mess up and it’s fine

it’s just a “mortal thing” 

(he also makes mistakes but shh)

You remained silent until the two of you reached the food stand, filled with savoury smells and delicious aromatics. Though there was no almond tofu.

“You wanna try somewhere else? I don’t mind going to find a different spot.”

Xiao grumbled. Not like you were the one walking and exerting energy to get from one place to another. 

“Fine.”

“Look... I promise this is gonna be the last place. If we don’t find any, we can go back to Wangshu Inn and ask Verr Goldet for some,” you reasoned. 

The adeptus remained silent, but didn’t show any signs of displeasure. You took it as a yes.

“Wanmin restaurant has some, I think! It’s the best of the best in Liyue too.”

“This better be worth it.”

“Don’t worry, it will! I’ll even pay for it and everything!” He sighed, making his way toward the restaurant. Honestly, you didn’t wanna even get anything to eat. For the most part, it was just spoiling Xiao for once since he never went anywhere and only ate the almond tofu Verr Goldet made at the Inn.

I hope that you can be happy, at least for today.

[spiderlilyserendipity]

Obviously, pretty!

JJK x female reader

Tags: established relationship, rainy day sex, washing dishes together, soft domestic things yk, probably the most vanilla smut i’ve ever written on this account hahaha thank u for cleansing my mind with ur request anon, forehead kisses, i didn’t need to tag that but i Needed to tag that u feel me?

Warnings: none

WC: 2137

If there’s anything you know about your boyfriend, it’s that if he can’t go to the gym, he will pout all day.

After going too hard in dance practice, Jungkook ends up too sore to go to the gym one day. His trainer must’ve heard from the choreographer that Jungkook overdid himself, which is why Jungkook’s trainer told him their session for today was cancelled.

“What am I supposed to dooo if I can’t work out on my day off!” Jungkook complains, wrapping his arms around your waist as you wash dishes.

“You could help your wife clean the house.” You joke, knowing it’s your turn to wash dishes anyway since Jungkook made breakfast (or rather brunch) this morning.

You feel Jungkook smile, his cheek fluffing up where it’s pressed against yours. His face gets a little hot whenever you call yourself his wife, but you know he likes it. The two of you are college sweethearts, starting to date in secret shortly after meeting in first year. Fast forward six years and everything has changed. Your doe-eyed college boyfriend is no longer just an idol but part of the most successful band in the world. And not only that, he’s getting a master’s in business, a slightly confusing decision but one that you respect nonetheless.

You yourself have changed, too. You’re now a business woman, working in a skyscraper in Seoul, and doing considerably well for being only two years out of college. You make good money, and Jungkook does too, and you share this high-rise apartment together. Every year, you and Jungkook sneak away to Busan at least once or twice to meet his parents and your own parents have already begun asking when they’re getting grandchildren. So it’s safe to say it’ll only be a matter of time until Jungkook puts a ring on it anyway.

No one knows, but that’s what makes it special.

“Can’t do that.” Jungkook answers, pretending like your flirting didn’t affect him.

You smile as you rinse another plate off. “Why’s that?”

“It’s raining. If I do work while it rains I’ll get sleepy.” Jungkook pouts.

You laugh, rinsing a cloth under the tap and putting it in his hand. “Go wipe down the stovetop. It should be cold by now.”

Obediently, Jungkook lets go of you to do as you said. But you realize he hasn’t let the joke go when he pouts at you. “Okay, work done. Let’s go lay down.”

“Baby, you’ve literally done concerts in the rain.” You tell him.

“I don’t even do concerts. I’m a business major.” Jungkook lies unconvincingly, his cheeks turning pink. You giggle, finishing up the last of the dishes.

“Fine, you big baby. Let’s go lay down.” You take his hand and lead him back to the bedroom. Jungkook shuts the door behind you. You take off the sweatshirt you were wearing to wash dishes (one of Jungkook’s), tossing it aside.

“Babe, that’s not neat!” Jungkook insists, but you whirl around and quiet him with a long kiss.

“You didn’t ask me to come here to do our laundry, Jungkookie. You and I both know that.” You tell him. Jungkook bites his lip, looking at your pretty lips.

“I guess that’s true.” He grins, and you grin back.

You wrap your arms around his neck and Jungkook leans down, picking you up into his arms with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist as he bounces you in place slightly, hands cupping your ass softly. You love many things about Jungkook, but you especially love how special he makes you feel each time.

Jungkook lays you down like a newlywed bride, pressing soft kisses on your cheeks, forehead, even your nose.

You giggle at him and he smiles down at you, warm and safe and entirely Jungkook. “I love you.” You whisper, stroking your thumb along his cheekbone, admiring that little scar on his cheek for the millionth time.

“Not as much as I love you.” Jungkook says, laying himself down on top of you and starting to kiss you again, this time with more passion.

“Hhh, Jungkook.” You whimper, tangling a hand in his hair.

When you separate this time, Jungkook sits up to take off his shirt. You run your hand down his sculpted abdomen, over his sweet, pretty waist and his toned stomach. You sit up to kiss along his chest, making him hiss as you make love marks in places his shirt will cover. No one knows, except you two. And you love it like that.

Jungkook tucks his hands under the light tank top you’re wearing, making you gasp at how cold his hands are. Jungkook laughs under his breath at your reaction. “I told you rainy days are bad for me.”

“Well that’s why I’m here to warm you up.” You joke, which makes Jungkook giggle.

“What would I do without you?” He says exaggeratedly, but his eyes tell you he means it. With that, Jungkook begins kissing along your neck as he works your tank top up. Since it’s just the two of you, you seldom wear a bra around the house. You moan as Jungkook pulls the tank top over your head, then in one swift motion presses you down into the bed.

Jungkook slots his thigh between your legs as he starts kissing you lower. He licks and bites gently at your nipples, making you writhe in pleasure. You watch through half-lidded eyes as he makes love marks on the tops of your breasts and around them, kissing down your stomach to your shorts.

He glances up at you for consent, and you nod.

He pulls your shorts and panties off in one clean movement, tossing them to the side despite having just told you to be neater. You grin at Jungkook’s eagerness, but the smile slides off your face when Jungkook wraps his lips around your clit.

Slowly, Jungkook gets you wetter and wetter until your inner thighs are shiny with arousal. Only when you’re whimpering does Jungkook insert his fingers into you, one to ease you and then a second to stretch you. Even after all this time, Jungkook pays special attention to your body.

He’s so slow and gentle today that you actually get a bit needy. “Jungkookie.” You sigh. Jungkook sits up, knowing that you’re already close.

“I know, baby. You’re doing so well.” Jungkook praises, kissing you all over, down your neck and along your collarbone. You watch as Jungkook takes his sweats and underwear off, then grabs a bottle of lube from the bedside drawer. You stopped using condoms when you moved in together (around two years ago) since you’re on birth control. Jungkook always has you ready to take him after some foreplay, but he’s told you he dislikes doing it without lube.

You watch Jungkook lube himself up, then align himself to your entrance. He places one palm on the side of your waist, kissing you quickly on the forehead. “Ready?” He checks with you again. You nod.

You pant quietly as Jungkook enters, both from arousal and his size. It has been years since you did this together for the first time, but Jungkook’s size is always a surprise to you somehow. You like to be stubborn and say you don’t need lube to take him, but you both know you’d need at least a bit for his size.

You pull him in even closer, burying his head in your shoulder. As he bottoms out, you moan his name quietly.

Jungkook smirks, knowing he has you in the palm of his hand. You pull him in for a kiss, this one full of tongue and passion. Jungkook feels your desperation and lets you have control for a moment, just to let you burn off steam. But then, he’s angling his head in and pressing you into the pillow, and you don’t stand a chance under how good he’s making you feel.

“Baby, I need it.” You beg breathlessly. Jungkook smiles faintly at your shyness to say the word “come” in bed, even after all this time.

“Need what, baby?” He teases you, knowing full well you’ll never use dirty talk unless he pushes you to that point. You whine at his teasing. Jungkook kisses your shoulder. “I’m kidding. I know my pretty girl is too shy for words like that.”

“I’m not shy!” You protest shyly. “We-We’re having sex right now! I’m not shy at all!”

Jungkook snorts. “Great observation, genius. Any other amazingly dirty comments?”

You’re starting to squirm under Jungkook’s intense gaze, knowing you always lose at this game. “I want to have a baby!” You announce.

Jungkook laughs. “Give me time to buy a ring at least.”

You’re shocked. “Really?” You ask, eyes wide like someone who Christmas came early for.

Jungkook flicks your nipple with one hand, making you cry out. “Obviously, pretty.” He says confidently, making you think he’s thought about it before. You blush and Jungkook looks at you like you’re an angel he’s captured in his own hands. “Now if you’re done being raunchy and nasty, can we get off? My hips were already sore but having a conversation in this position is even worse than the gym.”

“Baby!” You gasp, scandalized.

Jungkook pretends to look scandalized too. “I said let me buy a ring first!”

You groan into his shoulder, knowing he won again. Jungkook laughs, then starts to pick up the pace of his thrusts.

You let out little strings of moans and pants as Jungkook continues to fill you up and make you feel good. You wrap your arms around Jungkook’s back, holding him close as he fucks into you. You tilt your head back and close your eyes at the pleasure. All you hear are Jungkook’s moans and the rain falling outside your window. At one moment, you wonder if it’s cold out, but then you realize it doesn’t matter. You’re warmer than anything else in Jungkook’s strong arms.

“J-Jungkook--” You feel the pleasure building, about to come.

“I know, baby.” Jungkook says, laying you down all the way again and holding you under his weight as he picks up his pace. Jungkook looks at you, watching your face tighten at every euphoric thrust. “Doing so well baby, almost there. Fuck, my pretty girl.” He showers you in praise and kisses, words falling from his mouth so fast you know he isn’t filtering any of his thoughts at the moment. You love that too, you love everything about him.

Finally, Jungkook’s hips begin to stutter, and he reaches down to rub your clit. You arch your back as you come, Jungkook filling you up shortly after. As you come down from your highs, Jungkook rolls over onto his side, still inside you. He spoons you, tugging the covers on top for a quiet moment.

You find it surprising since Jungkook is quite fussy about cleanliness, wanting to get you in the shower and to air out the room relatively soon after sex. But today he doesn’t even slip his cock out of you, choosing to be nestled deep inside you. It feels warm, but you like it.

“K-Kookie. Why aren’t we getting cleaned up?” You ask.

Jungkook smiles at your tone with his eyes closed. “If you want to get pregnant we have to keep the come inside, don’t we?” He says. You smack his arms which are wrapped around your waist, making him chuckle.

Jungkook cranes his head to make eye contact with you. You look at his sweaty bangs which Jungkook pushed back from his face near the end but fell back onto his forehead messily anyway. It’s the most beautiful sight you know. “Just kidding. I’m just tired today. We’ll shower after resting for a bit, unless you don’t like this.”

You realize now that Jungkook must truly be exhausted from work yesterday. You cup his face, stroking it quietly. “I don’t… hate it.” You admit.

Jungkook’s eyes darken. “Watch your words, pretty girl.” He warns you. “I only have so much self-control and your dad will beat my ass if I get you pregnant without putting a ring on it.”

“Do you really have to go and mention my dad right now?” You whine. “And anyway, no one can beat your ass. You’re 6 feet of solid muscle and have a sleeve tattoo, no one would try.”

Jungkook laughs. “Okay fair, no more mentioning my father-in-law from now on.” He says, making you groan in complaint again. Jungkook smiles fondly at you. “But you know I meant that, right? I want to marry you someday and have kids and all that. I don’t know when, since you and I are so busy, but maybe when things slow down we can. Okay?”

You snort. “Obviously, pretty!"