#prior to today's episode there was hardly a scene of him not being an asshole

[eolewyn1010]

Nicht nett

Adam Schürk ist nicht nett.

Es gibt vieles, was man über ihn sagen kann, und in seinen besseren Momenten kann Adam zugeben, dass er ein paar positive Eigenschaften an sich hat. Er ist zum Beispiel weitgehend furchtlos, im Zweifelsfall recht clever und absolut nicht kleinzukriegen.

Nett ist er nicht.

Dafür gibt es Gründe, das weiß er. Was sein Vater gemacht hat, hat Schäden hinterlassen. Diese Distanz zwischen ihm und Leuten, die ihn sicher hält - und die ihn zu einem guten Ermittler gemacht hat - ist so ein Schaden.

Als er das Arschloch im Bus ins Gesicht schlägt, das ist eine Reflexhandlung. Geboren aus Wut und Hass und dem Wunsch, zurückzuschlagen - nicht für den Jungen, der da von seinem Vater schikaniert wird, sondern für sich, der er von seinem Vater gequält wurde und hilflos war. Dort im Bus ist er nicht hilflos; dieses Arschloch macht ihm keine Angst. Im Nachhinein denkt Adam, dass er dem Jungen damit keinen Gefallen getan hat. Nicht nett.

Als er Leo wiedersieht, das ist, als würden Dämme einreißen. Und bei allem Gift, bei allen Vorwürfen ist da zuerst die Umarmung, zuerst die Fragen nach den letzten Jahren, zuerst die leise, unglückliche Äußerung: "Wir dachten, du wärst tot." Und Adam kommt nicht damit klar, wie weh ihm das tut, wie viel er Leo schuldet und nicht zurückgeben kann. Also macht er dicht, wenn das Thema zu nahe herankommt, also scheißt er Leo an, wenn der ihn fragt, was in ihm vorgeht. Leo ist sein bester Freund, schon sein Leben lang - wenn diese Bezeichnung doch nur ausreichen würde, um zu beschreiben, was zwischen ihnen ist! - aber die Konfrontation erträgt Adam trotzdem nicht. Nicht nett.

Als er Esther und Pia kennenlernt, machen die ihn sauer, weil sie über Leo herziehen. "Halt einfach mal deine Fresse, ja?" Das sind praktisch die ersten Worte, die er an seine neuen Kolleginnen richtet, und er findet, das haben sie auch verdient. Die Sache ist die, Esther und Pia wissen in dem Moment nicht, warum er sie anschnauzt, und er hat auch keine Lust, es ihnen zu erklären. Später wird es besser. Esther und Pia vertragen sein Gift und schießen auch ordentlich zurück; auf diese Weise reden sie miteinander, arbeiten sie miteinander. Nett ist er trotzdem nicht. Muss er auch nicht.

Als Lida Tellmann ihn hereinbittet und mit ihm spricht, ist Adam zurückhaltend und still. Irgendwie ist Lida doch eine verwandte Seele, oder? Sie hat gelitten und es hat sie gnadenlos gemacht. Für Verständnis reicht es. Zum Nettsein nicht. Adam kann nicht reden, nicht mit ihr, nicht mit sonst jemandem, also geht er.

Als seine Mutter ihn wieder in ihr Haus bittet, da hasst er sie, wie er sie seit Jahren nicht gehasst hat. Er liebt sie auch, irgendwie, seine nutzlose Mutter, von der er nicht ganz loskommt - aber dieser ganze Mist ist auch ihre Schuld. Es wäre ihre Aufgabe gewesen, Adam mitzunehmen und seinen Vater zu verlassen. Es wäre ihre Aufgabe gewesen, etwas zu sagen. Hat sie damals nicht, tut sie auch jetzt nicht. Und es ist eine andere Form von Misshandlung, auf jeden Fall von Manipulation, als sie mit großen Augen zu ihm aufblickt und ihn anbettelt: "Lass mich nicht mit ihm allein." Inzwischen scheint sie das gemerkt zu haben. Sie lässt ihn gehen und erkennt den Schaden an, den sie angerichtet hat, und vielleicht verachtet Adam sie deshalb nicht ganz so sehr, wie er sollte. Aber nett zu ihr sein, das bringt er nicht fertig. Das hat sie nicht verdient, und so, wie sie dreinsieht, weiß sie das auch.

Als er die Chance sieht, seinen Vater sterben zu lassen. Da ist er nicht nett. Kann er gar nicht. In dem Moment schreit nur die Erlösung, die Freiheit, das Ende der Quälerei, der Furcht, endlich, endlich, bitte lass ihn doch verrecken! Hinterher tut es ihm leid, weil er es wie üblich Leo anlasten wollte. So benimmt sich ein Freund nicht. Jemand, der Leo liebt, sollte vielleicht ab und zu mal auf ihn Rücksicht nehmen. Scheiße.

Adam schreit Zeugen an, Adam bezichtigt Kollegen der Unfähigkeit, Adam grüßt nicht, Adam ist ungeduldig, sarkastisch, zu still, zu laut. Es funktioniert irgendwie, er kommt damit durch - solange Leo nur mit ihm redet. Nach dem Schuss, den Leo im Wald abgefeuert hat, um Adams Egoismus auszubügeln, denkt er schon, er hat es sich jetzt endgültig mit ihm verschissen. Aber irgendwie kriegen sie es hin, irgendwie, immer wieder, weil sie nicht ohne einander können. Mit einem einzigen Menschen auf der Welt auszukommen und alle anderen so ziemlich wie Dreck zu behandeln ist nicht nett. Für Adam ist es genug.

Manchmal versucht er, es vor sich zu rechtfertigen. Jemand, der so geschlagen wurde wie er, so erniedrigt wurde, kann vielleicht nicht nett sein... aber dann sind da Abende wie der, an dem sie gemütlich beisammen sitzen und essen und dumme Witze reißen, und Adams Sticheln mit Esther wird grinsend aufgenommen und gekontert, und Leo lächelt ihn über den Tisch an... und dann kommt es ihm gar nicht so fremd vor, dann denkt er, das ist eigentlich besser. Es fühlt sich schön an, willkommen zu sein.

Als Adams Vater stirbt und Leo für ihn da ist, ihm glaubt, obwohl er keinen guten Grund dazu hat - da ist alles, was ihn bei Verstand hält, die Aussicht, dass es jemanden gibt, der nett genug ist, sich für ihn den Arsch aufzureißen und sich gewaltigen Ärger einzuhandeln. Das gilt für Leo, aber eben auch für Pia und Esther. Und sie schaffen es. Leo meint, Pia hätte tagelang nicht geschlafen, als er Adam abholt. Und wie er ihn anstrahlt, wie er ihn umarmt und erstmal gar nicht loslassen will - Adam will gar nicht genau wissen, was sein Magen da gerade für Sprünge ausführt.

Vielleicht, wenn er Leo und anderen Leuten diese Mühe wert ist, sind die womöglich auch die Mühe wert, nicht ständig ein Arschloch zu sein.

[sieben9]

“changelings” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

Well, damn.

Where do I even start?

Ah, yes, ridiculous fashion choices. Thank you, that’ll do nicely.

Seriously, what is up with this belt? Is there a funny story/deep significance I missed here? Did the Evil Queen get really into wrestling while off-screen? Is this a Fight Club thing?

So many questions, and neary an answer in sight…

…yeah, OK, I’ll get to the actual episode. Under the cut, though. Be warned, this wasn’t a happy one for multiple reasons. For one it’s so long and I am really sorry. I just kept going “and another thing…!” until we got to the current state of things. There are some “skip here” suggestions in the text, though. For another… yeah, just go ahead and read the thing. Short version right here: I did not like this episode, and its also a microcosm of this show’s issues with character continuity. (As in “which bits are canon this episode”)

OK, brief shout out to the whole scene at the barn house. Regina threatening the Evil Queen with crushing her own heart was deeply worrying, but also kind of badass. Good on her. Also, the conversation afterwards. It’s nice to have it all out in the open for once.

Next up: the flashback!

names displayed to silently accuse the guilty (not really they just happened to be in the shot)

Which was… alright, I guess? I mean, the Rumbelle dynamic was completely off compared to what we’ve seen from anything but their very earliest days (I’m thinking about the Robin incident, which was… maybe Belle’s second day there?), but compared to all the other nonsense going on in that area, this is barely a blip on the radar.

This had definitely the only moment of much-needed comic relief of the episode, namely Blue’s dress. I mean, she wears it with commendable sincerity, but that thing just doesn’t get any better with prolonged exposure.

So, Rumple can read Elf, but he can’t read Fairy? OK, I guess, but you’d think that over a 200-year-long rivalry, he’d have made the effort. Well, if nothing else, the “Belle knows Fairy” thing is a nice fanfic fact.

Anything else here…?

Oh, yeah. Rumple’s mom.

Alright, it might be a little early, but I’m calling it now: viewed by quantity, Rumple has The Worst Parents on this show. Simply because both of them were evil, child-stealing assholes who abandoned their son. …you know, despite the very obvious irony in that sentence, I’m shocked Rumple turned out as good as he did. All praise the two spinning ladies.

By the way, how many parents do we have who didn’t abandon their children? Obviously, there are some, but I highly doubt we’d get as much as an even split. Yes, I realise that this is part of the show’s theme, but that is still a lot of absent parents.

He didn’t get much out of that conversation, though, did he? Well, looks like he’ll have another opportunity this season, at least… (If I sound a little underwhelmed, it’s just because of my general mood, I’m actually pretty excited to see more of her. “Sometimes you have to choose power over love”, huh?)

::long groan:: I don’t wanna do this. Because I feel like this should be a serious, in-depth analysis, when really all I want to say is “this episode hurt me and not in the good way”.

I think a large part of the problem is this: I wasn’t there with the story. I think Rumple and Belle’s actions both grew… sort of organically to the point they reached by the end of the episode, but getting there was such a janky, half-baked mess that I just. Didn’t. Buy it.

Right up until the end of that really, really disturbing scene in the library, there are some giant leaps of logic I’m supposed to just follow along with. Like “the best way to get my son to love me is to speed up Belle’s pregnancy” or “Rumple wants to cut our son’s destiny so that he can be corrupted ‘or worse’.” Also, what the hell is “worse” supposed to be in this scenario? What, exactly, did he think Rumple would do to his own child? Ugh!

Also, this didn’t happen until later, but “Just because he did the right thing today doesn’t mean he’ll do the right thing tomorrow”? Really, Emma? Isn’t hoping people who do the right thing today will do the right thing tomorrow kind of at the core of your entire moral system?

::dons hardhat::

OK, outright: The library scene was painful, and deliberately cruel on part of the writers. Because there were so many options for this to play out that didn’t involve Rumple chasing Belle into the elevator that’s been an established “Thing” in the narrative of this couple. I’m not saying this is bad writing (I want to, but let’s face it, I’m hardly objective), but it’s definitely a deliberate punch to the gut. And then there’s the bit where Belle has to talk Rumple down, which…  ::shudder:: yeah, not a good look.

What annoys me about that conversation… OK, one of the things that annoy me about that conversation is that I can’t even properly analyse anyone’s character motivation here, because I have no fucking idea which bits of canon I’m “supposed to” remember this week!

Some canon dissection at this point, skip if you’re bored.

So. Belle told Rumple that “all she wanted [him] to do was try”, which is reasonable enough on its face. In an ideal world, I’d assume this refers back to his comment in s5 where he basically said that the darkness was irrevocably part of him and that he had no intentions of changing that. Which is a… bold choice of words for someone who was literally, straight-up cursed with that amount of darkness. But I digress. The thing is that I don’t actually know if that’s what Belle meant, because, like I said, there’s been a very clear trend of “please only remember selected pieces of established continuity” in recent seasons episodes, and if you’re going to play it like this, that makes any kind of analysis really hard.

Because here’s the thing: he absolutely did try after that. Right after that, you might say. He and Belle worked together (using Belle’s method rather than gunning for Hades directly) to get their child back from Hades. And when Belle decided to put herself under a sleeping curse so as not to risk Hades stealing their child (because Belle does impulsive shit when she feels cornered), Rumple not only got their child back, he also tried to kiss her awake afterwards—something he previously said would require too much of a change from him to even attempt! And when that didn’t work, he did what she’d asked and brought her to her father, who refused to wake her, because his child being worse-than-dead was apparently still better than her being with Rumple. (And no, words still cannot express how much I hate Moe French. He started out a shitty father and then got worse.)

And then he kept trying to wake her up, because that’s what you do for a person you love. I’d even say he was about to succeed in waking her up, when what I can only call a diabolus ex machina turned up to tell her that Rumple is bad and will “destroy his family” (in a frustratingly unspecified manner that was never elaborated upon). And I’d be happier with this if it was framed as the kind of self-fulfilling prophecy the season 2 seer girl made—that Belle trying to avoid a future where Rumple destroyed their family would put them on the path to destroying their family—but I’m not sure that’s what’s going on. And if it is, then the writing in that one bit of the show is certainly a lot subtler than everywhere else.

I don’t care how cute a baby you are, adult!you is still a douchebag

So, at this point, Rumple has tried really hard to be a better version of himself, but somehow none of that work is recognised in narrative. It’s perfectly fine for Belle not to recognise it for several reasons (it’s also a bit weird, considering how she still seems to feel about him), but the narrative never acknowledges that all of this can definitely be filed under “striving to be better.” Which, again, brings me to the “so which bits of canon are canon today?” question. (Also, hi, I have a strong suspicion that the people involved in planning this show are a lot better at short stories than ongoing series with open sequel hooks. No pun intended.)

And then, like I said, things took a pretty sharp turn towards the end of last episode and at the top of this one. I’m… not even touching that any further. I’m tired, and not in the “I woke up early to get this writing done” sense.

::sigh:: Remember The Bear and the Bow? Good times, that, huh?

Alright. Deep breath. It’s uphill from here. Kind of. The hill is inside a hell-pit, so it’s not a great climb.

The post-library bit of the episode kind of works as far as internal logic goes. The episode had pretty much lost me by then, to the point where I was just relieved it actually wasn’t Rumple who spiked that tea. Because, let me tell you, I know I said I didn’t see myself quitting the show, but that version would have been hard as hell to watch. So. Glad I don’t live in that version of reality.

Still, at that point, Belle has no reason to think someone other than Rumple would have wanted to give her that potion. Which meant he was still after the baby, so sending the little bean away was… still not a great idea, really, but I can see how she arrived there. Belle does impulsive shit when she feels cornered. If she thought Rumple had really sunk that low… yeah, it’s still not a great option (and, again some really good acting in that scene), but not completely out of left field.

And Rumple was obviously afraid something like this would happen, which is why he tried to barge into the convent like that. Didn’t exactly make him look more innocent, but he was in a hurry.

at least you’re pretty to look at, I guess

At least one person acted entirely consistent with prior characterisation, meaning the Evil Queen. Because that potion was such a classic move that I’m a bit surprised Rumple didn’t see that one coming. My guy, this is basically the same woman who convinced you Belle was dead before locking her in a cell for thirty years. She knows where to hit you and how to make it stick, and you should know that!

And this is not me saying that it’s Rumple’s fault, but he sure got a good hit from the idiot ball when he unceremoniously dropped the Evil Queen as his partner/”partner” without going “hm, could she possibly feel the urge to screw me over for this?”

And so, Rumple missed the birth of his second child, Belle had her first child without her husband to support her, and while Gideon is a lovely name, I can’t help but think that picking a name for your child is something couples should do together, playfully bickering back and forth for weeks that no, we are not naming our son Immanuel, why is this even a discussion? (…I had several friends get pregnant over the last three years and you hear some weird stuff. The little guy is called Immanuel now, by the way. Among other things.)

Oh, and speaking of the little guy’s name...

WHY WOULDN’T SHE TELL HIM? Seriously, the name wouldn’t do anything to find him he couldn’t do with blood magic. Which he has readily available, since it’s--and I know this comes as a shock--his child. Seriously, that just seems... nedlessly cruel.

Also, to close this out with some (semi-)humour, I want to make this a callout for one Belle Gold, who decided that of all the people present this was the best person to hand her newborn child:

I think I am on record for saying that I would not trust the Blue Fairy with taking care of a gerbil, nevermind a human being. Frankly, if she told me the sky was blue, I’d go outside and check, just in case the apocalypse had gone off while I wasn’t looking. That’s how little I trust her.

Now, I do know that this is not the story of how Blue has been evil all along, but there is a world where that’s the big twist at the end of this episode.