#prev... your parents' food is so good... i would like photos. for me. and possibly if you could fly them over to me i would not complain.

[kensatou]

pardon the poor quality and mess but as you can tell i love: eggs (gotta have them in as many different ways as possible - soy cured yolks. miso cured yolks. mayak eggs. onsen eggs. i always prep a new batch of all four of these every week. ikura. tobikko. ebikko. mentaiko. salted eggs. century eggs. quail eggs. all the eggs. i have to have more than five varieties at any one time...); sauces (i LOVE spicy food and since i started working out of southeast asia i've been collecting sambals and sauces and people keep gifting them to me and this is only like HALF of my sauce collection....); candy and ice-cream.

also my necessities are always: rice (i don’t care what tiktok and studies*~*~ tell me i keep like two tupperwares of rice - one in the fridge one in the freezer, one jasmine rice one koshihikari - so i can have just reheat it quick and have rice with my dishes/make onigiri), natto, dashi (i always make a tupperware of it during the weekend so i can just take it out to make miso soup/tamogayaki/dashichazuke/tsuyu) + pickles (especially cucumbers and radishes) + cream cheese (honestly. sometimes i'm rushing too much/too lazy and disgusting about it to even toast bread so i eat it by the spoonful asdfghjk. my new fave is buldak cream cheese which one of my neighbours made for me... so good... life changing.)

also sometimes i keep some facemasks in the side compartment as a treat :'). and yes all my meats are processed and frozen meats. living alone again makes me so lazy, it's just not worth the effort to clean and prep and cook my own meats so i just buy them on the way home/just fry/roast frozen meats. those beef nuggets are BOMB by the way. it's like a mini hamburger patty with a crumb crust, a little like tiny menchikatsu)

i’m SO curious about the different things people around the world drink and eat and keep in the fridge to make meals with so could you please reblog this with photos of the inside of your fridge and freezer

[maknaesdancersrappers]

Devoted 2

Part 4

Overall warning/s: kinkier smut (eg. voyeurism, exhibition, etc.), character death, dark themes

Just how devoted is Jaehyun to you?

prev: Part 3

wc: 4,053

He keeps calling after you with his hurried steps trying to match with yours. You wanted the earth to swallow you whole; just gobble up your pathetic frame and make you disappear. Somehow he’s manage to catch up, grabbing your elbow to stop you with one last exasperated call of your name.

“Let go!”

“[Y/N], please let me explain.”

You push him away, “I think your parents made it clear enough for me.”

He gives you the pleading look that you know you can’t deny, “Please, just listen to me. I-I didn’t think they’d tell it to you straight!”

“Oh!” You exclaimed, eyes pricking with tears, “So you already knew how they felt about me? Is that why you didn’t even try to defend me?”

Guilt is painted all over his face; brows knitting between his forehead as he tries to find the words to placate you.

“I c-can’t believe,” You hated how your voice cracked; how it made you sound so vulnerable. “you-you’re just going to let them break us up because of what I want? Because of my dreams and passion?”

“[Y/N]... you know I love you.”

“Clearly,” You scoff, a sarcastic smile growing on your face as the tears finally stream down your cheeks, “not enough to fight for us.”

He repeats your name, softly like always. “I’m sorry.”

“Bye, Kun.”

“It’s been so long! Wow, you look great.”

It takes a second for his compliment to register in your head as you’re still in shock at seeing him again. “Y-yeah, you too. How long have you been back?”

“Barely a year ago. I’ll be finishing my residency program at the hospital here.” Kun’s eyes shifted a bit as he clears his throat. “Congratulations, by the way. I saw on the news, and overheard some of the other nurses talking... about the engagement.”

Instinctively, you look down at your hand; to your engagement ring. “Ah, yeah. Thanks.”

“Wait, isn’t that aunty’s?” He muses, “You love that ring. That’s great he got it for you. I’m glad you’re happy, [Y/N].”

Not knowing what to reply, you nod your head, “Uhm, so what about you?”

He lets out a sad chuckle, “No luck. Med school doesn’t really give me that much time to socialize. I’m always studying.”

“Not even classmates?”

“They’re not really interested, either.” Kun shrugs with a half smile on his face, displaying a lone dimple and how chiseled his face was. “Maybe it isn’t time for me just yet, you know?”

Before you could reply, Kyungwon steps up beside you, telling you she’s ready to go. She glances at Kun and gasps, “Oh, I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?”

“No, not at all!” He says and you already know she was swooning at his smile, “I’m just waiting for my order and then I’ll be back to work. It was nice seeing you, [Y/N].”

“Yeah. You, too.” You wave at him before leading Kyungwon out of the food park and dealing with her questions the second he was out of earshot.

“Who was that? Oh my god? He’s hot! And a doctor? [Y/N]! Why haven’t you mentioned you were friends with an incredibly hot doctor?”

You begrudgingly let out a sigh, taking a long sip from your forgotten drink that’s been watered down by the melted ice. “I don’t think we’re exactly friends.”

At your tone, she chooses to stay quiet and patiently wait for you to start explaining. The walk back to the office was silent; both of you weaving through foot traffic under the noon sun.

“He’s my ex. We dated back in high school.” You say once you were in the elevator of your building and the door closes. “He moved back to his hometown in China before graduating. I haven’t heard of or from him since.”

Kyungwon offers you a sympathetic smile, “And he’s back here? Small world. Are you… okay?”

“A little overwhelmed. I mean,” the doors open and you alight first, walking towards the pantry where you often had your lunch at, “I haven’t seen him in a decade. We didn’t… end things nicely. It’s… it’s just-”

“Hey, you know you don’t have to tell me, right?” She interrupts, “I’ll take whatever information you’re comfortable with sharing with me and I’ll work with it.”

You share a smile before she launches into a different topic and you’re thankful at how considerate Kyungwon was; you’re definitely stealing her away from this company once you establish your own.

“Am I doing something wrong?” Jaehyun pulls his hand away from your core.

It’s probably around 2AM when you woke up to him coming back from the bathroom and his simple kiss to lure you back to sleep escalated quickly to heavy making out with his hand pressing over your panties.

You whine, grabbing his hand and placing it back over you. “You’ve been doing this for years, how can you possibly be doing something wrong?”

“I’ve been doing it for years, but not once did I ever see you frowning.” He lets one finger graze the length of your clothed pussy. “Did something happen at work?”

Your thoughts fly back to Kun and you immediately push his hands away. “Not exactly…”

Jaehyun watches you fix your night clothes and pull the sheets over your body. He follows after you, waiting for an explanation.

You sigh, chewing on your lip as you try to form a sentence without possibly triggering him. You should have told him about Kun before - in the early stages of your relationship. But you were still hurt from what happened between the two of you; so you chose not to talk about it and you were grateful Jaehyun respected that decision.

“I can’t…”

“If you’re not ready to talk about it,” He holds your hand above the sheets, “It’s fine. Tell me whenever you are.”

Dejectedly, you nod; kissing his cheek before turning around and letting him spoon you. As you feel him drift into sleep, the weight of his arm slumping completely over your waist, your thoughts fly back to (technically) yesterday lunch’s conversation with Kun.

He looked good - really good. You can’t compare him to Jaehyun, though, but he’s completely glowed up from the last time you saw him. Save for a few stray red bumps on his jaw and the obvious dark circles under his eyes accumulated from sleepless nights of studying, you can’t stress enough how handsome he was.

You really should tell Jaehyun about him and hopefully he wouldn’t blow things out of proportion, but you don’t know how and where to start. Maybe you should talk to Doyoung first about Kun, ask if he knew he was back.

“You’re thinking too loudly, babe, please go to sleep.” Jaehyun drawls while yawning, pulling you closer. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

You hope so, too.

It’s been a full two days, yet you haven’t told Jaehyun like you had wanted. You were able to push it to the back of your mind while working out the contract with Yuta for his apartment. Kun only popped back into your mind when a smaller news account on social media posted a photo of you and him at the food park talking. Kyungwon showed it to you, only because her skirt had a fold at the back of her thighs caught in the photo. You’re hoping - praying - that Jaehyun doesn’t have the time to check these petty news accounts; you don’t even want to think about how he’ll react to them.

With Yuta busy assisting his sister in their business with Jaehyun, you’re free for the rest of the day until you have to time out. Doyoung should have some time to spare to entertain a phone call from you.

“Hello?”

“Hi Dons, how are you?” You sit down on an unoccupied couch at the lounge area of your office floor, placing a throw pillow on your lap.

“Good. Same old, same old. You?”

“I have a little time on my hands. My client is busy so I don’t have much to do since I haven’t seen his place yet.”

Doyoung hums on the other line, “So you called to bother me?”

You scoff, “No! Can’t I check up on  my best friend?”

“[Y/N], just tell me the reason why you called.”

It’s annoying how you can see how he’s rolling his eyes at you right now. Sighing, you begin, “Well… did you know that Kun is back in town?”

The line is silent, enough to make you think your call got cut off before Doyoung speaks up again: “Yeah, I ran into him months ago at the hospital when I had to get x-rays for my back.”

“What?” You were the one who told him to get his back checked and kept asking for updates about it, yet he never cared to mention about him running into Kun? “And you didn’t tell me?”

“I wouldn’t know how to bring it up and how you’d react! I didn’t think you’d actually cared if he was back or not… do you?”

You groaned, “I… I don’t care about him being back, it’s just… I was surprised. I mean, Jaehyun doesn’t even know about… Kun.”

Doyoung gasps, “At all? You’ve been together for 7 years and you never cared to mention about him?”

You look out the window of the lounge room, “No. When the topic of exes came up between us… it still hurt to talk about it -  and Jae never pushed to talk about it afterwards.”

“Maybe he already had him checked.” He casually says.

“He would never.” You’re quick to defend like always, but pause to think about the chances. Jaehyun was fully capable to have you background checked and if he has, he would have definitely known about Kun. Was that why he didn’t push you into telling him about Kun? Because he already knew?

“I’m joking,” Doyoung laughs, unaware of how you were truly reacting to his suggestion, “But it sounds like there’s nothing wrong about just telling him outright. You’re engaged, [Y/N]. Kun is the past for about a decade now. I know you love Jaehyun way more than you did Kun; and you’re worried about how Jaehyun is going to react to it, but you just need to explain that you and Kun ended on a bad note and never really had proper closure.”

Doyoung was right; you never let Kun explain his side of what went down. You walked out of the relationship and avoided him up until he finally moved away. You were even convinced that you weren’t going to trust another boy with your heart until you met Jaehyun.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Of course, I am.”

“Thanks, Don.” You roll your eyes with a little chuckle, “We should all have dinner soon. Ten is coming over from Thailand to make up for missing the engagement party.”

“Sure, just tell me when and I’ll clear my schedule.”

You snort, “Ooh, listen to you, Mr. Hotshot. I heard you were in demand, shame, I would need some help when I start my own company, but if you’re swarmed by better clients.”

“Nonsense!” He cuts you off, “I would make you my top priority.”

Rising up from your seat, you return the throw pillow back onto the couch and start making your way back to your carrel. “Aw, really, Dons?”

“Yeah, your future husband would pay me well.”

Jaehyun had been working overtime the next days; it was like the universe was preventing you from telling him about Kun. He’d come home when you were asleep and leave for work just as you woke up. It was only Sunday when you were able to wake up to his face as he quietly snores away; he must have been so tired from yesterday: accompanying Yunho to a meeting all the way to the south.

Today, your parents are coming over for brunch and although you usually prepared food with Jaehyun when either of your parents came over, you’d rather have him rest this one out.

After freshening up in the bathroom and pulling up a bunch of recipes on your tablet, you prepare your ingredients for brunch while having coffee and a bowl of cereal. You would usually have Jaehyun play some of his songs to fill the silence of the apartment, but you don’t want to risk waking him up so you had to use earphones instead. You go through almost two albums of your favorite artist when you finish cooking a platter of garlic chive pancakes and quickly whip up its’ dipping sauce before cleaning up your station and starting on another dish.

As you browse for the easiest egg bread recipe, leaned over the counter and aimlessly humming along to the song playing; you’re suddenly pulled back and spun around.

Jaehyun presses his lips over yours, holding you against the marble counter. “Good morning, love.”

“Good morning.” You sigh, tiptoeing to chase after his lips for a quick peck. “I was letting you sleep in.”

“What’s the point of sleeping in when you’re not there beside me?” He sleepily complains, pulling you into a hug and burying his face on the crook of your neck.

“My parents are coming over for brunch, remember? We can’t sleep in. I still have to make egg bread and beef stew.”

He groans, “We could have ordered those!”

You laugh while pushing him away, “You can either go back to sleep or help me out.”

“I’ll go freshen up real quick and help you out.” Jaehyun kisses your forehead, making an obnoxiously loud ���mwah’ noise when he pulls away, even pinching your ass hard enough to make you gasp and flinch before he ducks away to avoid your retaliation.

Recomposing yourself, you resume your cooking agenda. While gathering the ingredients for the egg bread, you quietly give yourself a pep talk. This is the perfect time to tell him about Kun; in any case that he doesn’t take it well, he has time to think it through while your parents are over.

But when he returns to help you out by making bulgogi (instead of the beef stew you initially thought of cooking,) he starts asking about wedding details like where you wanted it to, the theme, and such; and you absolutely hate yourself for letting him derail you so easily because you entertain his question. Before you know it, he wittingly changes the topic about where to go for the honeymoon and by this time you’re both done cooking and setting the table.

Jaehyun has you giggling, trapped between his body and the kitchen island, whispering places he could think off the top of his head into your ear. “Bali? Venice? Greece? We could go anywhere you want.”

“Do we really need to go on a honeymoon? Any days off we have together is practically a honeymoon - just minus the relationship status.”

“Oh, but that’s the point; we’ll be husband and wife. We can try for kids when we’re ready.” He nuzzles the side of your head with his nose, softly chuckling as his hands slip dangerously low on your body.

You slap his shoulder, “We are not having sex before brunch and with my parents coming over any minute now.”

“Then how about a little making out on the couch? Nothing below the belt.” He’s already guiding you past the dining table and towards the connecting living room, “Like a bunch of high schoolers.”

His analogy smacks you in the head and you’re reminded of the time you were with Kun. You were at his house, studying for some test in their living room, when one second you were trying to help each other understand a concept, and then another second you were kissing. It made so much more sense after breaking up as to why he was so harsh about pushing you off when his parents came home.

Snapping back to reality, you push Jaehyun down the couch and straddle his lap; capturing his lips into a fervent kiss. He’s clearly caught off guard, nevertheless exerts as much effort in deepening the kiss. There’s a nagging voice in your head, telling you that you’re doing this because you were guilty of thinking about Kun. But you’re convincing yourself that you’re just biting into the temptation Jaehyun had set up. Right?

A phone rings and you pull away with an annoyed sigh.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” He groans, letting you off his lap.

“Maybe we should have a honeymoon so I can have you all to myself.” You sarcastically muse out loud, slumping against the armrest.

“Sounds like a plan.” Jaehyun says out loud while he runs to where his incessantly ringing phone is located.

Not even three minutes later, he comes bounding back to you, eager to resume your previous activity, but just as he reaches you, the doorbell rings.

“We have tonight?” You offer, trying not to laugh at how disheartened he looks.

“I’m making sure we have a month long honeymoon.” He grumbles, allowing you to leave his hold so you could answer the door.

You greet your parents at the door with a hug and kiss each, ushering them inside where Jaehyun hugs them, too, before settling on the dining table.

“How have you two been? I know it’s only been a week or so, but have you to started on the planning for the wedding?” Your mother asks as she accepts the bowl of rice you passed to her.

“We just did, actually, this morning.” Jaehyun smiles while going around the table to fill up your glasses with water. “But all just general thoughts and ideas; musing out loud. We’ll officially plan after both our schedules clear up - or maybe just after [Y/N]’s project.”

Your dad looks at you, “Oh, you have a new project?”

“Contract hasn’t been signed yet, but I’ll be in charge of working with one of Jaehyun’s work partners.” You pause, “And it might actually be my last.”

“Last?” Your parents exclaim; looking at you with wide eyes, “Are you being laid off?”

You look to Jaehyun and gives you a little nod, “No, I… I plan to quit actually and start my own company.”

Your dad glances at your mom before returning his worried gaze to you, “Start your own company?”

“It was my idea.” Jaehyun jumps in, “She has so much talent and potential to be constricted in a male-dominated company.”

He was so good with words that you can see the sudden realization and agreement in your parents’ eyes as he explains. Honestly, you were glad he jumped into the conversation because you don’t know how to tell it to your parents without mentioning the meltdown and deal in the bathroom a few nights ago.

“I’ll be with her every step of the way.” Jaehyun holds your hand over the table and you return the smile he shoots you.

“Oh, Jaehyun, we know.” Your mom hushes, “There’s no one else in the world we would trust our daughter with any more than you.”

“Dons would be so hurt by that, mom.” You chuckled, resuming your eating.

“Well, I’d trust him to take care of you if I wasn’t around.” This makes you look at him, trying to disguise your surprise as mere glance.

He’s only had one session with his therapist, but he’s saying things like this about the same boy he punched for saying he loves you, despite knowing it was meant in a platonic way? It warms your heart that Jaehyun is actually keeping his word and the fact he sounded sincere.

“Oh, well, that boy was quite a troublemaker back in the day.” Your dad chides, “Pulling pranks and always had that short temper of his when karma gets back at him.”

“Really?” Jaehyun coughs, reaching for his water, “Doyoung? A troublemaker as a child?”

Your mother sighs, “Oh, if you only knew, he and - goodness! It had completely slipped my mind!” She grins at you, visibly perking up in her seat, “You would never guess who I ran into the hospital the other day!”

And just like that, you feel your blood ran cold. Trying to derail her, you clear your throat, “Why were you at the hospital? Is everything okay?”

“I was just visiting a sick friend, I’m fine, dear, but,” She waves her hand to dismiss you, “I ran into Kun!”

You couldn’t breathe.

“Kun? Qian Kun?” Your dad interjects, “He’s back in town?”

“He’s said he’s been back about a year ago. He’ll be finishing his residency at the hospital.” She peers at you, hopefully, “Kun looks good, doesn’t he, dear?”

You opted to hum, quickly stuffing your mouth with food to excuse yourself from answering.

“Who’s Kun?” Jaehyun curiously asks after swallowing, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

You’ve stopped moving at this point, trying to focus on chewing your food and think of a way to change the topic.

“Kun is [Y/N] and Doyoung’s high school classmate.”

You’re praying to every higher being that she’ll end it there, alas each and everyone failed you.

“He and [Y/N] used to date.”

Maybe you’re overreacting and your mind is playing games with you by conjuring the thought that Jaehyun’s entire body had gone rigid and you could see the veins on his hand bulging out from the corner of your eyes.

“Ah, really?” His voice sounded strained.

“He actually told me he actually ran into you during lunch that day. Oh, he’s still so sweet - you two were so cute before.”

“Which means he’s the past.” You shrug your shoulders, acting like you didn’t care. “We wouldn’t have lasted either; he’s always studying - med school and all…”

Your mom drops the topic to talk about your ideas for your future company and you’re doing your best to answer her but half of your mind is gauging Jaehyun’s actions. He’s only pushing the food around his plate; nodding his head to your words and your parents.

Brunch goes by quickly and your parents are off to somewhere else - you can’t remember where; you’re too distraught about what could possibly happen once they leave. It doesn’t help that your mother decided to loudly suggest meeting up with Kun for dinner some other day as a family and you didn’t even dare try to see how Jaehyun had reacted to it. The second you close the door, you turn to face the music, but Jaehyun wasn’t behind you.

You hear the kitchen faucet turn on and the sound of kitchenware clinking. Hesitantly, you amble back to the kitchen to find him quietly doing the dishes. You don’t know if you should explain yourself or let him just come to you; but you’d rather do it now.

“Jae… “

“Baby.” His voice almost sounded flat.

“I… I should have told you about him; Kun…”

“That you ran into him - your ex and possibly first love - days ago?” He remarks, “Your mom seems to love him.”

“My mom loves you, too.”

“Is that why you were so out of it the other day? Were you thinking of him that night I tried to make you feel good?”

You could hear your own heartbeat thumping from your chest. “A-are you mad…?”

He immediately stops doing the dishes and turns to you, “No. No, I shouldn’t be. I don’t have the right to be.” Wiping his hands on kitchen towel and stalking up to the counter across you, “I don’t have the right to be mad at you. I just… want to know why it took you years to tell me about him if he clearly meant something to you.”

“Before.” You add, “He only meant something to me before.”

Jaehyun lets out a deep sigh, nodding, “Is he your first love?”

You blink up at Jaehyun, hands clasped together to stop them from shaking. Was Kun your first love? You always thought he was back in high school, but never really thought about it again when he left. When Jaehyun came into the picture, you knew you love him - probably more than you did Kun, but were you just going to disregard your entire past with Kun?

“Yeah,” You lick your lips, “He is.”

a/n: okay so it’ll be awhile before the next update to make way for 14 Ways to Tell Them You Love Them Too (seriously thats a long ass title i cant even) bUT!! I hope you guys like this update even though it’s shorter than the last one huehuehue

its also like 3:30AM so :--)

next: part 5