#preemptively -- thank you both for the thread!! it was fun ^^) <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[revengerevisited]

i found this vanqua fic the other day, it’s only a couple chapters but i like it so far. :3 it does have a ‘creator chose not to add warnings’ label though, so please be cautious. also baby-xemnas aka kotbysleep (nsfw) aka nekokat42 (also nsfw) is a much better vanqua artist than me so please check him out. X’D (heads-up those twitter threads are way longer than you think so make sure you see eeeverything~).

anyway, more wip art below the cut, plus my endless rambling (i talk about 18+ topics, just a warning)—

i’m still working on venqua week and i’ve got 2 more prompts to go, one i haven’t started yet and one i’m halfway done with—

~aaand yeah i’m re-using it for a vanqua pic too... X’D am i lazy, or just resourceful? you decide. ;P

but yeah, both of these pics will have an 18+ version as well. i admit i’m super anxious about posting it next week, as i’ve seen just how absolutely toxic fandom is on twitter. like, you thought tumblr was bad? i’ve spent the last few days preemptively blocking literally hundreds if not thousands of antis just so i can feel a little safer posting my content without some asshat calling me a pedo or telling me to kill myself over cartoons. XU i somewhat worry that i’ve accidentally blocked some people who were just joking around and weren’t actually harassing anyone, but it’s just so hard to tell sometimes. if i’ve accidentally blocked anybody here, just let me know so i can unblock you. :3 (idk why that sentence came out so sinister sounding but i’m legit being sincere X’D).

but seriously, idk when fandom suddenly got such a stick up its ass (around 2016-17 from my guesstimate) and decided aging-up a fictional character by a year or two is such a crime, but i guess that’s just the state of things. :T i could draw vanitas as a centaur or make him blond or whatever and no one cares, but aging him by one year? suddenly big problem! yeah, right. XP like, i know i said every character in kh is 17+ as of khmom (ignoring any weird timeline retcons of course), but heck i could make an honest case for the wayfinder family all being adults. hear me out—

it’s been 13 years since bbs, right? and for 12 of those years, aqua was in the realm of darkness, terra had some awareness while being possessed by xehanort, ven experienced some of sora’s life when he was in a coma, and vanitas was almost certainly in ven/sora’s heart as well, so all four of them could be said to be 31, 33, and 29 respectively. it’s not like their character models were any different when they were young teens as opposed to older teens, so can we really be sure they’re not all 30~ by now? heck, since ven is from the age of fairytales i could say he’s 1000 years old if i wanted too! (psst, it’s almost as if these are all fictional characters living in a fantasy world with time travel and whatnot and their ages are completely arbitrary numbers nomura made up on the spot, numbers which he has retconned before! :P).

now i don’t actually think they’re that old, but if people are gonna hassle me over a goddamn 2-year age difference, i might as well say fuck it and have fun with it, right? ;P it’s not like antis even know what the canon character ages even actually are, like when they try to say that skuld is underage when (assuming she’s subject x) she’d be around 28~ by now, or axel and saïx’s age. (maybe i’ll draw some saïx x skuld art and watch the antis lose their minds. ;P it wouldn’t even have to be nsfw to rile them up).

anyway, i do admit i’m feeling a little burned out on art recently. XP i’ve been trying to get one art piece out per week plus venqua week, and yeah it’s kinda taken its toll. i know this really isn’t anything anyone wants to hear, but i’ve been kinda thinking of moving away from fandom projects to work on my own original work. now, i’m not saying i’m abandoning a heart and a half nor anything as drastic as that! but i have spent like 2 years of my life on it just to get to the halfway mark, and i’m not sure i can spend 2 more doing only that.

i’ve got an original story idea that i’ve been working on-and-off on for the past 7 years or so, and i’m thinking of going back to it again (it does need a pretty big re-write). its main pairing is actually pretty vanqua-ish, now that i think about it. like, imagine the realm of darkness but instead of the heartless it’s infested with demons, and the main characters are the demon-slaying duo of a serious yet kindhearted half-angel and a feral, snarky half-demon. i even aged them up from 14 to 18 so none of my potential fans have to suffer the same anti bullshit that i have. XP

what else can i ramble about... oh, i got these super cute pins for christmas! :D the heartless is by xkirakira, and vanitas and aqua are by maxxmerch. they’re just so cute! X3 i hope everyone had a merry christmas and a happy holiday! i’ll see you guys later. ^3^ 

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*looks around sheepishly* ó3ò alright... confession time. spoilers for a heart and a half for the rest of this post—

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sooo~ i’ve kinda hinted at this before, but yeah i’ve always planned on adding a sex scene to a heart and a half; when i started writing back in 2018 i hadn’t realized how hostile fandom had become compared to only a few years ago, and it worries me that some readers might drop the fic because of it, or be angry with me over the underage aspect. :(

idk, i could go on about how i just wanted to explore every aspect of a romantic relationship, or how other disney/square enix characters married or had kids young (ariel, sarah hawkins, héctor, claudia strife, possibly jasmine), or how attempting to apply real-world rules to a videogame fantasy setting is inherently silly and pointless, but really it’s just ‘cause i love vanitas and aqua to bits and i just wanted to write a cute and funny mild sex scene between them (this fic is rated mature, not explicit, so much less graphic than confection affection), and at the end of the day they are just fictional characters, after all.

i guess all i can hope for is that i’m a skilled enough writer to pull it off in a believable way, and that my audience won’t be too put off by it. >_> i know vanitas and aqua have technically only known each other for about 2 months so it might not be ‘realistic’ for them to go so far into a relationship so soon, but i think it’s important to remember that ultimately this is a romantic fairytale, and other canon disney couples haven’t seen nearly as deeply into each other’s hearts as vanitas and aqua have (and this video also helped me feel better about it).

i also wanted to finish that nsfw venqua fic i started a few months back, it’s set just before the mark of mastery so yes ven would be 16. i suppose it’s a way of testing the waters to see what kind of reception i’d get (hopefully positive) before i get to that part of a heart and a half. i was also thinking of including some of the uh, ‘keyblades as erogenous zones’ aspect from this terraquaven fic as well... w-why are you looking at me like that?! it’s funny! *sweats nervously* o3o’

in all honesty, i’m probably just overthinking all this (which, knowing me, is almost a guarantee >_<) and i should just *ahem* let my heart be my guiding key, and just write what i want to write without worrying about it all the time. i just get so anxious so easily... buuut that’s not really news to anyone, now is it? ;P well, i think that’s the end of my endless ramble, thanks for reading if you got this far. X’D and i really hope i didn’t actually upset anybody about a heart and a half. ;_; i just felt like i needed to vent a little, but don’t worry about me, i’m doing fine. anyway, i really should stop typing and get back to work on venqua week, sooo... bye! X3

[votivehq]

alright guys, as much as i hate doing these kinds of posts, we need to address these sorts of issues quickly so we can stamp them out before they become a real problem. please like this post once you’ve read it entirely to signify that you agree to everything mentioned; and please note that if you like this and then do what we’ve stated not to do in this post, you will receive a warning, so please make sure you read and understand it. i’m very sorry if this sounds severe, and please remember that we never wish to attack or seem mean, but i feel like we’ve been very lenient so far and we need to take all of our members’ concerns seriously. onto business:

(1.) WARNING SYSTEM. we are implementing a new WARNING system — you will receive a warning for any rule you break. three warnings and you will be removed; in severe cases only two warnings will be issued. we know this is strict, but we are growing weary with people blatantly breaking the rules thinking we won’t do anything about it. reread the rules and follow them.

(2.) BUBBLE-ROLEPLAYING. we’ve had a lot of complaints regarding this both from anons and directly on discord literally since the second week of opening. this isn’t just about one person but a few, and we won’t name names or approach anyone (at this stage), but if you think this might be about you, chances are, it is. i hate that this is happening because we pride ourselves on being warm and welcoming, and we don’t want to approach people — it makes YOU guys feel bad, it makes US feel bad. so please, reevaluate your roleplaying if you are doing any of the following:

plotting/writing with only one or a few select players

ignoring characters of a specific gender or race

replying only to the threads you ‘like’ and leaving others waiting for days (we understand sometimes you might get too sleepy or you suddenly have to go offline before you finish all your replies, but try to do your replies in the order you received them. if all your other replies are done, you can focus on whatever you like.)

creating new muses only for specific people’s requests/connections

doing open starters and only replying to some replies (if you feel you are a ‘picky’ roleplayer or can’t handle a lot of threads, then please do not post opens.)

(3.) PLOTTING/STARTER EFFORT. please guys, it’s better to tell someone straight up that you’re not feeling a plot (or the pairing of characters in question), because there’s nothing more disheartening than to get half-hearted replies to plot ideas or worse, never getting a reply to the plot starter. following up on that, make sure you are offering to do the starter 50% of the time (unless you already have a lot of starters/replies still to do), don’t always make the other person do it.

(4.) TRIGGERING TOPICS. this one is a short one, but please be mindful of bringing up triggering topics in the discord such as abuse, accidents/hospitalisation, body negativity (i know a lot of us talk about fitness/gym, which is fine since it’s only been positive thusfar), etc. even if it’s self-deprecating humour or whatnot, remember that not everybody is in the same place as you, and if unsure, please ask if it’s ok to talk about a certain topic first. 

(5.) BANNED FACECLAIMS. guys, we keep getting this lately, and it’s very inconvenient and unfair to everyone involved. you cannot come to us and tell us you want a faceclaim banned AFTER someone applies for them, it is YOUR responsibility to tell us preemptively (and provide sources for proven claims against a fc). we will not ban a fc simply because someone ‘dislikes’ them, or for non-severe mistakes which have been apologised for. i will be adding this as a note to the checklist.

like this post if you AGREE and ADHERE to everything mentioned here. once again, thank you all so much for your dedication, your talent, your effort and your lovely personalities! i hope you all know we only say these things to make this a positive, comfortable space for everyone (you all know i’m soft and don’t like being strict). you all matter, and you all deserve a fun, positive environment.

[morethanabarcode-blog]

So I’ve been lazy and shoulda done this weeks ago, but hey!

No time like the present, right? That being said, I wanna thank you guys for putting up with my slow, picky ass. Lots of slacking off have been going on lately and I haven’t gotten the time to talk to a lot of people I used to before things kicked off.

But I’m glad you guys are here and takin’ time for this boring old loser. With that, I’m being preemptive and saying that if you’re not listed on this, don’t take it to heart. I’ve more than likely haven’t gotten to talk to you as much or I simply spaced it out. There’s a lot of you guys and I enjoy you guys being here and seeing you on my dash.

So let’s get started!

The Ultimate Blunder- @tribulatio-regis

You are the biggest piece of angsty shit ever, but you’re my big piece of angsty shit. You’ve put up with my countless whines, helped me through some rather annoying/anxiety driven times and over all drown me with threads I don’t think will see the light of day again. Being your friends been a lot of fun, whether we’re talking over threads or playing FFXIV.

I’m also still not giving back Noctis is pants. Those will be a memento now for how much of a jerk you both are. <3

Massive Tripping Hazards- @flowerxshield @rexcrystallis @snapshotchocobo @badassbarmaid @countignis @noctxgar @thatonedragoon @childofnoite @lastoftheline @lunafreya-ncx-fleuret 

People that I’ve been interacting with for a long time or really came to admire over time. I really enjoy seeing these guys around, and I always feel bad that I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to them more often. Something I want to rectify since my stupid ass gets so zoned in. <3 But I love these guys a whole bunch.

Major Stumbles- @smolblackchocobo @leorugiet @rose-of-shadows @commander-tseng @aimxvoria @partyprincenoctis @invictus-incendium @days-in-milan @laevisomnus-noctis 

Another special category! There’s a lot of people that I look up to and these guys; whether they’ve been here for quite a while or just joined in on this crazy mess. I’ve enjoyed their time immensely.

I know there are people I’m missing. Mostly because I have a hard time getting tags to work. So all my rp partners, new or old. I want to take the time to say that you’re truly the best.

I’ve enjoyed seeing your muses grow and the shenanigans they’ve gotten into. I would like so much more time to interact with all of you, but we all know I’m shit at prioritizing anything. I’ll be trying my best to try to at least get some interactions in with everyone!!

Goals for the year. (I s2g iunno how any of you put up with this blog)

Again apologize profusely if I forgot to tag anyone. I tried to triple check through all my things to make sure... orz

[aurimeanswind]

Birthday Wishes—Sunday Chats (4-2-17)

Here we are in a post-24 year old Alex world and I am all old now!

Nah I’m just kidding, but I do want to take a moment and thank everyone for all the wonderful well-wishes and birthday joys sent to me. All of you are the sweetest and bestest that I guy could ask for, and thank you for that.

Now... ONTO THE GOOD STUFF

Looking Ahead

I wrote a 23-going-on-24 post about what the future may hold for me, and I talked about maybe looking into ways to monetize my work. Things I could do if I had a Patreon or some other form of subscription/funding to what I am doing. I’d love to work on new projects, to start new podcasts, but the truth of it is I can’t justify taking specific days of the week off work to just devote myself to these projects. And I don’t know if I’d have the drive to pull it off.

But maybe we shall see. I definitely got some rousing support from some folks who would love to see me do it, so I thought it worth mentioning here in my weekly wrap up. Here are some things I would want to start:

A monthly interview show where I sit down with someone I find interesting and have an hour long conversation with them.

A monthly show I’m tentatively calling “The Video Games Show” where I assemble a panel of Jr. Video Games Personalities to discuss a topic relevant to that month.

A more committed schedule to Alex Talks, allowing me more time to focus on editing scripts, refining them, and maybe actually getting decent at video editing.

Actually freelance editing work, where I can work with writers to help them hone and refine their pieces, and help me grow as both a writer and editor myself.

These are just a few ideas I had, and I think they may be worthwhile in exploring. This is me putting the feelers out on what some of my Patreon-esque goals would be and what kind of stuff I’d be looking to make.

Persona 5

Okay let’s get to the meat of it. Much like with Zelda I am only really playing one game at the moment so I am forgoing the “What’s on Tap” segment here to just talk about this one damn thing that I have been waiting for since I was in high school back in 2009.

I want to keep it light, but I have managed to power through 20 hours of the game. I’ll be talking about some general things in the game. Hey: if you don’t want to know about names, mechanics, places, and ideas approached in the game, maybe don’t read this. If you too are playing the game or just don’t care, here are some of my thoughts.

Immediately it was weird to be playing a Persona game for the first time... again. Like, it really took me back. All the way back to how slow paced Persona games are out of the gate. It takes about six-ish hours before Persona 5 really takes the reigns off, and when it does it really started to click. I think coming off of Zelda my mind just wasn’t prepared or in the mood for a game like this, but the sheer quality and amazing presentation of Persona 5 had me powering through, and I am so fully in I can’t even begin to describe it. It’s got its hooks in me and it’s already just so much of what I wanted and more I am humbled and blown away.

I had total faith in the developers to do what they did with Persona 4 from Persona 3, but to see it really in front of my eyes after all this time is something in its own right. The way skills unlock as you grow closer to “Confidants” which is the renamed Social Link companions, the way those skills link into the other systems, it’s all brilliant. All of the other Shin Megami Tensei aspects that have crept their way into Persona now, namely the negotiating with shadows to turn them into ally personas, is so, sooo good. I love it.

There is so much overwhelming wonderment going on in my head anytime I am in that world of Persona 5. That same fear of not doing the right thing on each day, or not having high enough stats to start this social link at this time, but the game gives you so many goddamn choices of fun and interesting things to do that none of it matters.

I could go on and on about all the incredible and small adjustments to gameplay that have been made here, namely how much faster everything is, while also introducing that crazy amount of flourish and style to combat and movement, but I’d rather just take a moment and say:

the. fucking. music. in. this. game.

It didn't really click with my at first, and thinking back, neither did the Persona 4 soundtrack. The Persona 3 soundtrack had the hip hop vibes that hit with me instantly, but the Jazz here in Persona 5 is very different, just like everything else in this game. But as the game goes on, they slowly layer on more and more parts of the music, eventually adding in the vocals to the instrumental tracks you had been hearing for the longest time, and it’s brilliant because when this happened it was essentially around the same time that the grind and rhythm of the game clicked with me, and everything just beautifully fell into place.

Again, I could go on and on, but I’ll say this. It’s very different. I imagine it may even be off putting to folks who loved Persona 4. But this is truly, truly something special here. You should play this game. You should really, really do it.

Questions:

It may seem preemptive, but it’s probably my favorite Zelda game. Full stop. I need time to mull it over and think about it, but the 100+ hours I put into this legitimately blows A Link to the Past away, and that is something I never thought I’d say, ever. Breath of the Wild has the benefit of not being like any other video game I have ever played though, and maybe as time goes on that will change, but right now, in my heart, that’s where it’s at.

Prey!

I’ve been looking forward to it ever since it’s re-announcement, and seeing it as essentially Dishonored in space, I am more than I could ever possibly be on board.

But like, after Persona I... I may need a break. I just don’t know how anything can top this. In fact, I almost know it can't.

So damn much. <3

Yo... Who cares?

But no really, I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for wrestling. Less than nothing, honestly. It’s beyond my scope.

People are saying Roman Reigns? I think? That guy.

Sure.

Haha, missing some punctuation here, but you have my phone number. And my DMs. And we talked for a while this past week. If you missed it, you should check it out:

https://www.breakinreality.com/podcast-and-shows/2017/3/28/interview-with-alex-oneill-the-history-of-irrational-passions

So there was a lot of tweets and comments in response to this, and they’re worth looking at. I held off from responding so I could say something more substantial here.

Here is what I believe: I think if you go into this with everything hinging on people liking and engaging with what you’re making, maybe you’re going at it with the wrong expectation. Just because you put a thing out there, to be perfectly blunt, doesn’t mean anyone ever has to give a shit about it. That’s been a real challenge for me. And yeah, none of my stuff gets massive attention. I have a pretty small reach, and a few folks who really seek out the stuff I’m doing. Some folks even think it’s good, but what keeps me going is trying to refine and improve that stuff into something that is worth giving a shit about.

But at the heart of everything, I make and produce all kinds of content with zero expectation of response. Some things, that take far more time, like Alex Talks, I hope to see some comments on, and I eventually do get to see them, but I also force-feed that stuff folks to get their feedback. And I ask for feedback, not necessarily just “engagement”, so I can then take that feedback and refine, improve, and be a better me. I’ve said some incentive, sexist, and uncouth things in the past. I’ve taken that to heart and tried to be a more open and welcoming personality because of it.

But also, it’s different for me. When I started IP, it was with friends, and my “extra work” as it was at the time was to just act as my living portfolio to get into the video games industry. AND IT STILL IS. Like, that goal hasn’t changed. I still make this content for me, for the fun of it, and to see how far I’ve come since I started. 

I’d like to think I’ve gotten a lot better.

But Harold, it’s different for everyone. And it sucks sometimes. And if no one is engaging with what you’re making that can really suck. What’s more, if you’re not enjoying making things, putting those things out to the internet, then maybe they’re not worth making?

I say you shouldn’t waste time producing and creating something that makes you miserable. There isn’t some twist or turn in your brain that after so many hours of making a thing you don’t like where it’ll shift into something you do like. I just don’t think that happens.

But I’m rambling now. Was that an answer? I don’t know.

I kept the full thread in for context.

First: this is a PERSONA as Persona game. Which is GREAT.

But my birthday was amazing. So many specific and hand-made well-wishes, especially from Roger Pokorny and Cameron Abbott, who both recorded videos of themselves saying just the sweetest fucking things and sent them to me. I was overwhelmed. Plus actually finding a copy of Persona 5? A legit birthday miracle. So cool.

It was super fantastic, something my birthday hasn’t been in a couple of years. Very grateful to my amazing friends for that. <3

Man... In a post Persona world I just don’t even know. I guess Destiny 2? And that’s such a weird thing to say. But with Zelda, Persona 5, and Tales of Berseria behind me so far this year, it is a TOUGH THREE TO BEAT, I’ll say that.

Destiny really got its hooks in me, and if Bungie took the time to totally reshape the game from the ground up, Destiny 2 could be absolutely amazing. I can’t wait to just see what that game looks like.

It is VERY intimidating, but having played some now, I think you’d really love the vibe Persona 5 is giving off Logan. Since I don’t think you’re as worried about spoilers, I’ll set it up by giving you a general idea of what to expect. You’re transferred to a new school after being expelled because you get charged with assault for helping someone. Essentially, because of this, the world around you all judge you and assume you’re a delinquent, and everyone is a total asshole to you. Enter supernatural powers and some fun anime-ness, you get heavy concepts mixed with a world out to get you. It’s super gritty in a way that Persona 4 never was. 

Like I said above, it takes about 6-ish hours before it takes the handholds off, and then what I’m sure will be 100+ hours after that, but if that sounds cool to you, I really think you’d dig it. I don’t think you’d love it as much as, say, me, but you could get quite a lot out of it.

YES.

I’m very tired.

Listen. I don’t give a shit about the Power Rangers.

I’m sorry Joey, but that  Green Ranger flute shit looks goddamn stupid. It looks like he is trying to play recorder on a goddamn sword hilt.

Uh.... UHHHH

I DON’T KNOW. I’m so bad with this stuff. I really have no strong opinion. Government is hard, and Democracy is hard. I think genuinely, the idea of a republic is cool to me, where we elect officials who them vote and elect/veto laws and ideas. Clearly that’s really fucked us right now, so that sucks.

Maybe like move to a small town where its just an oligarchy with everyone in the town? I guess that’s technically a democracy? I don’t know man.

Government sucks.

Shoutouts

Shoutout to all the amazing lovelies who gave me birthday love on Friday. I fucking love and adore all of you. You’re all goddamn rockstars in my heart.

I’ve been awake for about 31 hours right now, so I am going to go curl up in a ball and be asleep forever for a bit. 

Then I am just gonna wake up and play more Persona 5, so that’s real exciting.