#ppl love being helpful and hate feeling like they're not trusted enough to be asked for help

[blooky8]

@vee-lociraptor the other part of what i was talking about

Nothing I’ve read has changed me more than “you do people a favor by accepting their help” like I repeat this constantly to so many people because it’s true!!! People like to feel useful, they like to feel kind, they like to feel like they have an ability to impact people’s lives so just let them!! Not everything is a thing to be owed back — accept people’s kindness without making a competition out of it

[tonycries]

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[alfredojesta]

i've never given LJ / Candy Pop a proper post on their own, so here's my scrambled thoughts about them ^o^

they aren't dating in my canon for. A Multitude of Reasons. but i do have a lot of things to say about their friendship as a whole.

LJ was initially uninterested in Candy Pop. he believed jesters were inferior to clowns. and, honestly, this flashy guy looked like he was trying too hard! his bright colours hurt LJ's eyes!

their first encounter with each other wasn't pleasant. LJ made him go into a magic box and spun him to a foreign land. hours later, Candy Pop came out and sputtered insults at them, out of confusion more than anything.

LJ laughed, amused, seeing Candy Pop as just another victim for them to torment at the mansion.

Candy Pop stormed off and immediately forgot about LJ's existence because his memory's gen so shit he can only retain one thing at a time.

the moment they actually became friends was when LJ saw Candy Pop's AMAZING MAGIC POWERS! what! he never knew a jester could perform like that!? Candy Pop could make objects, even people, explode into a gazillion candies!—oh, that must be where he gets the name from!

so while LJ didn't give Candy Pop a chance at first, he was practically all up in his face after seeing what he could do. questioning him, requesting they hang out, asking him for free candy, and the such. it was out of wonder. LJ had never met someone of his calibre before.

Candy Pop was more than willing to show off his tricks. LJ's curiosity and enthusiasm made Candy Pop feel at home. not many people in this age have an appreciation for Candy Pop's tricks. plus, he could learn a few from LJ. he was a bit rusty.

it was no shock they gained an affinity for one another. they shared a similar passion, and the same love of performance.

OKAY NOW THAT THE INTRODUCTORY SHIT IS OUT OF THE WAY

circus duo time :)

Candy Pop and Laughing Jack love each other in a way that isn't platonic, nor romantic, but a secret third, more sinister thing.

they comfort each other by just being around. no need to share personal details. that's not what they go to each other for.

LJ, especially, doesn't want to burden Candy Pop with their problems. they'd feel horrible! that's their bestie not their therapist! :(

on Candy Pop's side, he doesn't actually think LJ is... erm. intelligent or. sensitive enough to learn about his past. it's a definite lack of trust in LJ's emotional understanding—but, can he really be blamed? the way LJ behaves shows he may not be ready for deep conversations.

yet, Candy Pop knows LJ has a mature side, or at least, a troubling past of his own. he can tell when LJ isn't feeling his best—when his laugh sounds forced, when it fades too fast, and he's looking off in a daze. he'll be there to help LJ make it through the day, not be too annoying with questions, and cheer him up by getting him back into the hang of things.

the first time LJ saw Candy Pop sad, LJ was confused as fuck. LJ usually HATES when ppl cry. he thinks it's so annoying—but with Candy Pop, he just felt BAD!!! LITTLE JESTER WHY ARE YOU CRYING??? LJ would do everything in his power to see Candy Pop smile. he does not care who he has to kill actually.

n e way. Candy Pop and LJ looove doing circus acts in LJ's room. they're just two bouncy guys running around and being stupid! besides that, they do other things such as: go on walks, take baths together, have little dinner dates, indulge in other peoples' horror, and have sleepovers!!!

also they kiss sometimes ^_^ YAY!!! there's 0 romantic intent behind them. LJ thinks it feels nice and Candy Pop sees it as an affectionate exchange (aka he's a whore and he'll kiss any living adult with pretty lips). :3

in the least sexual context: LJ likes the way Candy Pop tastes. he's sweet, literally candy. that's why LJ will often chew on Candy Pop's hair, or his arm, or his hand, or anything really. Candy Pop is the one that initiates any kisses, though, because LJ gets flustered quickly. but. i must say. LJ does love those kisses very much. he's a bit too shy to ask for them, that's all.

on walks, LJ likes carrying Candy Pop!!! just holding him in their arms while they wander the forest. bridal style so Candy Pop can lean up and pepper their face with kisses. they'll maybe visit the forest's tavern, find a nice table to sit at and yap while their food gets cold.

they're both so physically affectionate. LJ will hold Candy Pop's hands whenever he has the chance. squeezing his fingers. idly tracing his wrists. being gentle with him so his claws don't pierce the skin. Candy Pop's hands are much smaller than LJ's, and he tends to just hold two or three of LJ's claws THEY'RE SO CUTE I HATE MY LIFE Candy Pop loves hugs!!! he is a huge fan of just sitting on LJ's lap and hugging him while they talk. this works for cuddling too. hehe. Candy Pop is most likely to tackle LJ to the ground when they hug, while LJ is most likely to squish him to death.

LJ doesn't need to sleep, but Candy Pop does. Candy Pop tries to keep up with their energy, but he can't all the time... so if he ever ends up passing out, LJ makes sure to find a nice place for Candy Pop to sleep! they'll even sit next to him. playing with his hair, watching him sleep (admiring), and maybe toying with his dreams for fun. Candy Pop wakes up, and gestures for LJ to lie with him. just a few minutes together, and then he'll leave bed...

sleepovers are fun for this reason—LJ's always wanting to do stupid shit, even when it's 5 AM and they've already annoyed everyone in the mansion with god knows what. Candy Pop is tired at this point. being more mellowed out, he suggests calmer things to do. like taking a bath together!

baths with them are. not chaotic at all actually. baths are one of the most peaceful things for both of them. Candy Pop got LJ into taking them, because LJ would normally just shower. they use fizzy bath–bombs. LOTS AND LOTS OF BUBBLES. THE ENTIRE BATHROOM WILL SMELL LIKE A BAKERY IT'S SO SWEET. they could be in there for hours, honestly. yapping like they always do. when LJ massages Candy Pop's hair with shampoo, he's VEEERY careful as to not hurt him with the claws. Candy Pop loves the scratchy feel though.

sometimes Candy Pop will leave lipstick marks over LJ's face, or his collar—depending on how comfy LJ is at the moment. and then they can just wash it off in the bath!!! it's the only time LJ has any colour on him. little purple marks :)

i'd say they even get dressed together. picking outfits for each other and whatnot. Candy Pop tries on LJ's wardrobe and LJ laughs at how tiny he looks. they do each other's makeup—or well, LJ does Candy Pop's makeup (LJ likes doing his own makeup for personal reasons, and Candy Pop respects that). Candy Pop has a go at attaching bells to LJ's hair, and now they're both running around, jingle jangling.

one day i have to make an AU where they are canon because i love them... unfortunately, my LJ and Candy Pop could never date because erm. LJ eats children and Candy Pop is still not that comfy with knowing that. bro stays blissfully oblivious. if he can't see LJ eating kids then it never happens. on the otherhand, LJ would lose his mind over being in love and it will not go well i fear.

IF ANYONE ASKS ME TO ELABORATE ON THIS ASPECT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP, I WILL! there's DEFINITELY a lot more to go in-depth on. Just didn't yap abt it on this post bc Idk i want them to be cute not angsty

teehee ^o^

see i committed to my turn @seas1mping

[an-inspired-eternity]

breaks into your inbox

hi, please, sell me on akirui, tell me all about them please. ive been thinking about them after the devil’s manner april fools thing and i just need to hear someone go insane about it i think

uh, yeah!! :]

HELLO. OUGH OUGH OUGH WHERE DO I BEGIN.

first of all the "like oil and water" trust rank title (that ensekai butchered but what doesnt ensekai butcher involving queer ppl lbr)

okay first of all i just think the premise of where their dynamic starts is so funny bc they r so >:3 >:| core and i love that for them.

BUT. goes under the cut bc i have thoughts and feelings

the thing i LOOOVE tapping into with akirui (and akikasa/akiruikasa) as well is that for all akito bitches and moans hes more like rui (and tsukasa) then he insists he isnt.

i made another post before about akito and tsukasa both push themselves beyond their health limits for their dreams (and as well in my fic 'the balsam, fallen silent' it comes up that tsukasa's stunt in phoenix pissed akito off BECAUSE of how much it reminded him of himself with what happened in sbd)

with rui you have to read between the lines a bit more but there's a big deal made of how they're both very passionate about what they create and making what they create the best they can be

similarly to the phoenix/sbd stuff, rui does also push himself in a different but similar way, as seen in darkfes, where akito chastises him for downplaying his injury and to let people help him for the sake of putting on the best show possible.

you could argue there's a point of comparison to be made about how much they mask. akito with his polite front he uses around people he doesn't know, and rui reigning himself in at best or acting completely detached from what hurts him at worst. there's an excerpt from a fic i really like that summarizes rui's state well i think:

(taken from 'summer heat' by cepheide, a very good, 10/10 recommended akirui read from me)

and also as well as of the most recent event, we have rui asking akito who does and doesn't know about the latter's fear of dogs because he's trying to be delicate and careful regarding discussion of what is described to be trauma for akito, and akito is shown to be surprised and very touched by this act.

i don't think akito ever truly fully hated tsukasa or rui, but in the case of rui you can really see how much akito grows to tolerate and enjoy his company, to the point he can enjoy himself in rui's presence so long as rui doesn't try to treat him like tsukasa (ie: the situations)

also if i can ever finish the wip i have w/ them. the topic does come of shinei being a shithead, and i don't think we talk enough about how of the times we've seen rui genuinely pissed off and ready to throwdown it was about someone harming (emotionally or otherwise) a person he cares about. rui would hear about shinei and experience a rage unlike anything he's experienced since the scuffles with shosuke emus brothers. ive said this before but if akitoya is "lets run away together and we can escape everything and everyone thats ever hurt us", akirui is "you can run to me, i'll protect you. i won't let anyone hurt you ever again"

[njmweb]

this is going to be super corny ok !

@heartjnh - (maybe you'll see this maybe not) god where do i even start . you are quite literally the best thing that happened to me and i cannot stress enough on that . i was acc so happy when we could finally talk yesterday n ive been thinking of our conversation still . you're so cute adorable amazing n everything n you're always there to support me no matter what n i feel so happy knowing that i have you , really . we've known each other for a while now n i often still read our texts from when we first talked . you're all i asked for n youre js so perfect . from our stupid inside jokes to js being an amazing person i can rely on , you're everything . i hate being mushy but i genuinely love making things for you . i love writing poems for you , i love drawing you n me , i love sending you big ass messages on how much i love you , i love getting into media you like js so i can go crazy over it w you (i started w little women for you. Btw) , i love sending you pretty pictures , i love seeing cute things in red cuz they're your favourite colour . this is getting super long but im genuinely over the moon for you n i really really really dont know what I'd do without you . you have the most special place in my heart n trust me when i say no one has even come close to being as special as you are . I love you .

(happy 669 days .. LMFA)

to the sweetest angel, my baby, the jark to my jarchan 💞

@y-vna - OOOHHH MY GOOOOOD I LOVE TALKING WITH YOU you literally make my day 1000000 times better ISTG YOU'RE THE SWEETEST PERSON EVER . reading your message made me tear up n im acc so glad we met even though i dont even know what i did to deserve you like ☹️☹️ i will remember you forever . plz dont stop sending messages like these i genuinely cherish them . so much you're one of the biggest reasons i open tumblr everyday im not even kidding . every interaction between us makes me smile sm n i always get feel so happy everytime you tag me 💓💓💓 im so happy im a person you can come to for help . i hope we continue to get to know each other better ^__^ i love you sosoosos much i cant even put it into words Ookk <33333 /p

@pupicito - LITERALLY MIY FAVOURITE PERSON ON THIS APP EVER . I loveeee talking to you smmmmm n you're so nice you always tag me in silly events in which we can participate together which means sososo much to me 💞 you never fail to make me laugh n i love getting texts from u !!!!! i hope we get to talk more n be silly when we're both not so busy i loev you !!! /p the best carat on this app !!!!!! you've been here since my tzugore era n i appreciate you supporting me up to this point <33333

@silvrrz - i dont even know how we met but like ??? you're one of my fav people ever and i love waking up every day knowing i get to see n be silly w you . i have one of theee best memories ever with you and i would kill to experience them for the first time again . n the way you dont even like skinship but you willingly let me hug and cry into your shoulder on our sports meet says sm abt you . i love every minute of our time together n i love going out to diff places n window shopping w you its genuinely my fav thing ever !!!! after all of our exams are done i hope u me isa n elili can hang out together again <3

@jdopes-recorder - you're a little too obsessed with me but ok 😒 i hope we stay friends for a really long time though ! im so glad you feel comfortable enough to open up to me n im so glad i could be of some help . i love spending time together n we definitely havent spent enough 👎🏼👎🏼 you're also one of my fav ppl ever n even though you barely talk to me i still like getting texts n voice mails from you i Guess . thank you for being the loveliest wife 🎀 (although a shitty co parent ....) n i hope we still can talk frequently in college bc if not i will show up in your house bc of how much ill miss you (although ill never admit that.)

being madly in love with someone platonically is so ridiculous. hey man i think about you all the time. i wish you were here right now. talking to you makes me indescribably happy. i miss you. honestly what the hell

[cant-you-be-m1ne-forever]

"A One-sided Conversation of Me and My Lover" (He replies through call but I was too drained out to talk)

.

.

.

I want to die.

I want to die.

I want to die.

Let me die.

Fucking shit this will never end for me right? Am I doing everything wrong?

I can't handle this anymore i swear to God, it hurts do fucking bad.

I'm so tired of my own fucking existence.

Just-

Fucking

Kill me

Already

I don't feel

Fine

Oh I forgot I'm calling

With u

Lmao

Sorry

Huh

I want to die

Js

All

Ye

I hate myself.

Why the fuck my existence is fucking pointless

I'm fucking useless am not i

I can't even process to live like a normal human fucking being

I can't even being able to keep my task done

I can't keep up with the whole world and i just feel like I'm left behind so many times that I even wish for people to please leave me behind

I

Yeah.

And I'm sorry for that.

I can't even help myself and it's pushing me to death because I'm literally in love with a person

And I am so pushed like

I wish to just-

Idk

It would be feral if you literally stop

Caring

But I'd thank for that

Because I'm suicidal lmao

I need a reason to end my whole life

Because idk if anything I'm doing is good enough

I try everything and just fall down again and i am so fucking mad

I'm fucking helpless

I hate life

Yey.

It's stupid

If anyone does then why the fuck am I the one stagnant

I lose all people around

Why?

Am I not good enough?

Idk

I feel like people lying

I can't even trust them saying good words towards me anymore like how come

I don't even know

I'm trying

My brain just

Trying to punch me haha

I lose friends all the time

I hate it

Because I don't have anything to give them except myself

And when I lose them i lose a part of me too

How what?

Idk

I feel stupid

This js reminds me of

When I got no one

It feels so safe

And unsafe at the same time haha

I mean I'm used to it

It's feral, it's terrible

But now I'm

Torturing myself with the thoughts that they probably will leave and I'm the fucking problem again

Because I

Hurt them

Or bother them

Enough

So they

Leave me

Because I deserve it

I just don't trust it

People say

If it happens so many times

Then I'm the problem.

There's just only me who doesn't even know how to maintain a fucking relationship

Like

Fuck friends.

I want friends

But I don't want friends at the same time like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THE INTENTION IF THEY AREN'T EVEN GOING TO STAY

Like why

Yea

It's so bad

I don't even have stories to tell

Ppl talk abt their lives and it's so fine and mine just ughhhh

Like

Telling them a piece of my trauma and they just fucking LEAVE ME

Why???

Like damn why the fuck appeared at first place

I do have skill issues hhhh

And they can't handle me

Yay.

I know right

No one is perfect but they're just human

Human

Human

Hhh

Why the fuck human

Why the fuck am I living with human

Idk they should kts

Yay

What the actual shit is going on in my head

I don't get it

I don't get a thing

The sounds in my head is too loud

I'm annoyed

It keeps saying that I should

Kms

Hhhh

Hhhhhh the promise.

Yes

I'm talking nonsense

Tro Bếp returned to the room

He tried to reassure me at first but when I start hitting something then he looked at me full of fear

And I was scared too i dropped that immediately and held him and asked if i was scaring him out

But he just looked at me and ran away after sneaking out

Yeah he's back but he's

Js

Hm

Idk if that's what I'm imagining

My brain is shutting down

But it's so painful

I don't know

The feelings

Are

Suffocating

And I

Don't know anymore

I don't know

If it's really fine

I hate my head

I hate myself I hate myself so much why the fuck do I even exist in the first place

If

You never met me

Then your life

Could've been better

Istg

I feel like I'm just making you stagnant

Use Gg translate hhhh

Istg I'm listening to something portray my head lmfao

Idk just part of it

Like listening to something that is

Drawing

A corner of the face

Idk

Idk

Idk

Damn

My head is starting to annoy me

Again

I feel like

I hate human being but without them around i can't handle myself

Without their finest distraction then

I'm going crazy with my head i wish I could chop it off

But it's hard when I just hate myself.

Idk

Eh

That song is literally everything in my head, it's not naturally being one of my favourite song hhhhh

Idk

I want to be a cat

Probably it'd be less hurt to think

At least there won't be someone

Going to grasp me out of nowhere and then destroy me inside out once again and i

Idk

I want to be

Human

But I hate it so much

But I want to feel "human" again

Like when I'm living

When I finally lived

But I

Hm

The head

And I guess that you must feel helpless lmao

It's fine, i can't even help myself

Lmao

Idk

Just feel so

Sometimes my feelings would just crawl in and go furious in there

And I can't differentiate my brain out of my own self

And I hate myself

So much

Idk

I wish the suicidal thoughts would shut up

Yes

I searched it up earlier so it's in the waitlist

Damn tbh ye

And ye

I

Actually

I mean I think everyone does

Crave for attention

And hmmm

Affection

And sh like that

But I look down on myself wanting that

So idk

I'm trying not to want human connection hhhhh

Ye hhhh

Literally

+1 reasons why I hate myself ✨

Because I want connections

Hhhhhhhhh

Idk how come

Aishite aishite aishite

Idk

I wish I could beg them for it idgaf

But I can't mf

It keeps stopping me like prolly if i beg for it I could receive some

But I don't let me do that and God knows why

Probably because mama and papa always said that they loved me so much already

What's the point of begging for more

If they loved me "so much" already

Ỷe

Music

On repeat

Yippe

I feel like just opening my mouth is

Uhhhhh

Kinda

Draining me

I'm just

Tired

I want to

Destroy something

I want to be

Left alone

But idk

I want to be alone

But with you

Idk if that even make senses lmao

Hhhhhh.... I

Oh hmm

Hm

Why would you know-

Hm

But

Hm

Ye

I can hear my dad snoring

Ikr

He returned to the house earlier

Hmmmmm

I guess sometimes

I js wish my parents arent home

So that I could scream it out but like eh...

Like the record

Hm?

And I'll scream?

Hhhhh

Idk i want to hold you like a hostage

Idk keeping you forever and

Idk i start to think of negative shi

Prolly impulsive sh

I mean I start to think what can I do to not letting you jump away but uh-

It's just all

Hm

I don't even want to watch TV

Why the song singing that

But I really want to

Keep you

Even if your silver is my gold but I don't care

Hhhhh i mean

Even if you pay little attention for me, it's still so precious to me

But I don't care

Há?

Wtf

It's the fourth times you say it

Ig

Idk

I js don't feel so

I literally scratched the mirror

Chú Hoàn said I could went into a therapy session with the mirror

It counts

Why

Aw. But I know myself the best

I know how terrible i can get to be because all I can do is

Uh

Repress it

That's what I can do the best

Tro Bếp looks like a cat

How can he be a cat

He is so

Beautiful being a cat

He

Not a she

Lmao he has dick it js

Cut off his balls ig

Ye

That's triệt sản (awhh okay)

But he's a very cute cat

Idk i love him so much

Hm

Idk suddenly I feel like

I can do this my whole life idk

But fr

If i lose him

I don't think another cat can replace him

He can die

And turn into

A human being

I told him

That

If he dies

He can turn back to be human and be my child

I will adopt him

Ye and I'll make him happy

Abt Som

Hmmmmm

Js a cat

Ion really care

He's kinda dumb

Should be a cat for few more lives to learn how to be smart

Hhhhh

But

What if I die before them even...

I actually attempted to kill them

So that I could kms

Bc i didnt know how to force myself to death but I was so fed with my own existence

I know

Like I should js kms not killing them either idk

My head thinks abt negative things again

What if

Idk

I'll find you a med that can delete ur memory

Som is so soft

And he's cleaning himself

After deleting your memory

This can be the last time we

Talk like this.

Nah you wouldn't even know

If you forget me

Then how could you be sad?

I'm js a page of your life

Yes, it's js-

Uhhh not really

Like just deleting it out of your brain cells

I

Uh

Hm

I'm

Thinking about my death again

Portraying it

My funeral also

No no no

Nah

That's not a promise

Why a promise

My parents will yeet u out

Your parents too

Hm but you'll need to open the coffin to do that

It's noisy and problematic

So you don't have to do it

Idk if i want you to grieve for me your whole life or js move on love someone else and live happily.

Hard to choose lmao

Because I want you to be happy

Hm

Delete ur memory?

: D

...awh

Hm

Hmm

I don't know

I love you but I don't want you to

Be sad

If i

Idk

I'll try to at least live until October as I promised

I know

We have 1 yearrrr

And

Hm

If we're still tgt until that moment then prolly a new contract would be made

Your happiness is so simple

Ig mine could be but hm

Why can't I feel it

I want to feel it

Try again

It has been so long

I'm so

Greedy

I'm so jealous of

Other ppl

Hmmm

It's fine even if you can't

I received so many things already

Hm

Then you would be even more important in my life

That would be pressurizing

I think so

Because normally ppl can't get to this extent so I'm not sure

Ppl usually gave up

I know hmmmm

You know the meaning of "never"

It's "never"

Hm

How come it became "yourself"

It's js me

The rage

Slowed down

Ig

It'll come back another day

And start annoying me again

Hmmmm

I start to miss the record i did

Me js flat out screaming hhhh

The only time I could do it

Normally

I want to do it so much

Ye

Hhhh...

It's fine but well my head starts to be blurry idk

I feel things

Unreal things

Yeah at "home"

Damn the deep cuts start to feel itchy

Thanks-? I don't even know if that place exist

I

Uh

I'll try

Hmmm

Hm

Ye living with me is a pain in the ass ngl i have issues keeping up with tasks

All I know is myself

I mean, works, and me myself and you and all the tasks? All the chores and sh

Y'know at my house I've been stop doing all the chores bc i js can't do it and i run out of home bc i kinda am scared of doing that

Hm

I don't want to

Also feel

Terrible doing it

Out of energy

And traumatized also

I know but I feel guilty

🥲 my sanitary at living place is a whole big problem

Idk that's why I said I'll try to go make money to hire ppl to do chores and sh cleaning meow meow shit and like that

Awh but if I make enough money lmao

Idk how to balance it

:') yeah it's fine

Uhhh

Hmmm

Idk it sounds tiring

Damn

It sounds kinda way too positive

What

I mean I'm going to "sống trong nhung lụa" in its most literal way

Lmao

Fabrics and shit aaaaagh

I'm not good at making money

Istg

It could be just

Luck

I have communication issues

And fashion burns money istg fuckkk

Chú Hoàn said

It can be a few more years

Then I'll be js fine

I'm kinda avant-garde

So it's even more expensive

Because you see my designs

Extras and add-ons and sh

It's not simple and..idk

And idk my skills has issues

Idk if i should follow avant-garde or haute-couture

Hm

I know but I have to count my career for now otherwise I'll die

Yes I'll be so died ngl

My neck is

Itchyyyyy

Aaaagh

I'm mad

I need to

Scratch it

😡

Hmph

Hmph

Hm

Hmph );(

Alright

Ahgkkdkgkd but awh js-

It's healing

I mean hmmmm

Som is so soft

And anh cứ đạp phải nó ý

Tại nó nằm ngay chân anh

K giường bé mà

Ngày trc đâu có đạp ph nó

Nó ngu từ bé r

Ý là về nhà đc năm ngày kẹt cmn trên cái rèm phòng khách

Kẹt trên chỗ

Treo rèm ý

K xuống đc

Nó tự leo luôn

Xong gào ầm lên, bế xuống xong lúc sau lại thấy lên r gào tiếp

Ưtf

:))) anyways he's js

Kinda dumb

But he's a cat so i forgive it

Yippe

He's literally

Still a cat

And every cats is my

Child 🫶

Tro bếp is not

He's so cute and smart and cute and everything bling bling

Hhhhhhhh

Y e

I don't even get to deny that fr

Há? Why I don't even see a reason why I js hhhhuh?

I see the mirror

But I'm

Hmmm

Idk i js realized i fr can't js accept my

Uh

Uh

Vessel

Yey

Found a word

No I mean even my soul i js find it all so annoying

And hmmmm looking in the mirror rn making me fr insist it ahhhh

I gotta throw Som onto the pillow

He

Hm

He

Tóm lại là nó

Cản đường di chuyển tự do của chân t

Bạn buồn ngủ k

Bâyh 1h r

K

Nhma

Chắc k thế

K bngu lắm

H nhắm mắt vào xong là lại series ác mộng hhh

Nhma mơ ác mộng ngủ ngon hơn

Mơ đẹp dậy nhiều vl

Sảd i wish I could js accept those pretty dreams

I mean

Đợt này ngủ ngon k mơ gì

Yippe

Nhma nay chắc có mơ

Hqua cũng mơ

Mơ gì ý nhỉ

Mơ

Đại khái là thế

Hnhu

Có m

:0

Kiểu k nhớ lắm nhưng cũng dễ chịu

:0

Okay-

Hmmmm

Are u real

Hm

You

Guess

Idk

Bc me too

Idk how's my player doing

Nah they can't js make an npc having this miserable life js for nothing lmao

Js make it to let them kts

Ye

Bastards should js kts

Hm

Som is still soft and he returned to his old place and now my feet is on him

Poor lil guy but idc lmao.

Idk i feel like js keeping silent with you is good enough

It's comfortable

Like I don't need to talk all the time

Even the silence mean smt

Hmmmm

I think I should let u sleep but

May I ask

One question

Idk if you going to stay up a lil more then can we js keep the call for a lil while and I'll try to sleep rq and you can turn it off after?

Lmao

L m a o

But that's really fine to you right?

Hmmm

So ye

Love you

See you after 2 days ig

Long time asf aaaagh

And good night ig-

I love you

Cya?

Ur parents okay then

I'll stop sharing s

[saintobio]

I saw some people being torn between 1. hating on or being 'disappointed', to word it more kindly, with Utahime for being a traitor to Y/N and 2. Cannot really blame her because you can't help who you fall in love with. Ok, this is not a hate-ask or what. I'm just stating what I really think of this whole ordeal. At first I was torn between these two too but now that I thought about it, I think I shouldn't be.

Aight so first things first, it's clear, Utahime betrayed Y/N for sleeping with her ex husband. There's nothing to explain about that. Y/N trusted her yet she did something she definitely know could hurt Y/N. The whole sentence describes what she did. Now, for the part where some say that "They can't really blame her because you can't help who you fall in love with." That, I don't think it can justify what she did. First of all, can you really call it LOVE? In that short amount of time, can you really call it LOVE already? Second of all, in the middle of all those emotions, those frustrations, can you really call it LOVE? OR is she just DESIRING for something? Idk how this may sound to some of y'all but what I'm saying is, the betrayal that she did cannot be justified just because you think she fell in "love" and "can't help it" when the situation is like THAT, when they're all in THAT state? not drunk state, but you know...damaged and vulnerable. Admiration, infatuation, appreciation and desire are all so very different than love.

Anonymous said

I don't think Gojo is using Utahime to hurt Y/n. But I do think Utahime is taking advantage of the situation and the state that Gojo is in. Idk if she's doing it intentionally or not but I think what happened is that she saw an opening to fit in and make a move for what she wants for herself. She even encouraged him as she saw how desperate he is to try and move on because of what Y/n said even if she knows that he shouldn't get in a relationship right away. She probably saw Gojo's vulnerability and frustration as a chance and went for it. She took advantage of the situation and state that they are all in. I know she said that she knows that she's being a bad friend but I don't think she's really that concerned about it. like she's not really taking it to heart. at least that's how it seemed to me.

Anonymous said

I was in the situation where my ex got together with my best friend. I think what was hurt it wasn’t i still loved him but how she never told me. I knew it when i saw he came to meet her while my best friend and i hung out. She told me I told her i didnt love him, so they were together. I had to say it was fine because ppl expected me to accept it otherwise i would be a bad guy.

That was why i truly understand y/n. It didnt matter whether she still loves gojo or not, i assume she felt betraying in the way utahime didnt tell her. Because to y/n, utahime was her best friend, who she trusted. I hope y/n would have a happy ending with her son. And hope saint gets to take a rest too ❤️💪

Anonymous said

I really hope YN never forgives Utahime. She literally betrayed her in all ways possible. Y/N trusted her w almost everything that is happening with her and her life. Even trusted her to look out for her ex husband. She knew of Y/n's pain yet she was greedy enough to go for her ex husband for her own purposes, encouraged him and took advantage of the state he is in. She has witnessed how Momjo degraded Yn, even saying that Satoru should date her instead, yet she still went for him. I bet she was silently celebrating during those moments because his mom is in favor of her out of hate for Yn. Utahime is the last person person who deserves a happy ending in SY.

Anonymous said

A thought crossed my mind.

How possible is it that pushing Satoru and Y/N farther away from each other has started to become Utahime's ulterior motive at some point? Like at first, it wasn't her ulterior motive and she doesn't have any hard feelings for Y/N but when she started to learn more about how messy Satoru and Y/N's relationship is, she saw a tiny crack and took advantage of that, and she started to think that maybe she could be with him instead, so she chose to disregard her friendship with Y/N, no matter how special it is to her, because greed has gotten into her and she thought maybe Satoru could give her what she desperately wants. Like, she knows that Satoru is feeling neglected, she knows that he's so vulnerable, so desperate for comfort so she purposely gave him more attention than she should and more than what she was asked for, as if luring him. How possible is it that she's been intentionally separating Gojo and YN farther away from each other to make way for herself?

I just wondered since we're still in the middle of the story and I still don't know the true motives of the characters 😗

Anonymous said

idk... i think what hurt me the most was not the fact that gojo and hime slept together while drunk but it was the fact that they kept on going after the whole incident. i also can't stop thinking about how sachi is going to react after he matures more and understands the situation. the way that y/n sees herself as the antagonist in SN and SY just hurts me. also fuck you momjo. also don't listen to the haters Saint we love u, it's not your fault they can't differentiate fiction from reality.

Anonymous said

this might sound mean but I just really wanna speak out my opinion LMAO. I saw some still thinks that Toji and Utahime play the same role. Ok so For me, it is safe and okay to call Utahime an antagonist right now. I mean she betrayed YN's trust and is causing her pain when YN's been nothing but a good best friend to her. She's not just a second love interest, she's an antagonist in a sense that she's one of the main sources of MC's pain and hardships. That's far from the role that Toji is playing. Toji and Gojo aren't best friends, he didn't betray Gojo when he went for YN. I don't think it is right to put Utahime and Toji in the same level because they definitely aren't. The only similarities they have is that they are the "seconds" for the two MCs. Other than that, they are not the same. Unless she changes direction and shows some genuine love and respect for her best friend, she will remain an antagonist. try to put Getou in Toji's place, only then will the roles be even.

Anonymous said

Now that I think about it... The comparison "what Toji is to Y/n is like what Utahime is to Gojo" is not really acceptable. Toji didn't betray Gojo when he dated Y/n. They weren't friends. They weren't BEST friends. But Utahime... she's Y/n's trusted best friend yet she still did this to her. Nothing can justify her actions. You can't control who you love but you have a brain. I think she should know better than to date her BEST FRIEND's ex husband if she truly care for how Y/n feels. AND Sachi. I just hope she wakes up and think about all of her actions.

more to be added

[ambivalent-anarchy]

The Spidey Squad Playing Among Us

Masterlist

Welp, this game is all the rave all of a sudden and irdk how since the game's pretty much been here forever lol but it's still fun so I had to jump on the bandwagon and here we are! Make sure you check go out @chaoticpete's new fic. Anyways here it is! If this gets enough likes I might do an avengers headcanon too.

Thanks to @angelsparkers for helping me realize I wasn't writing complete garbage and helping me to get through it even though she didn't even know she was doing that. So yeah thanks for that.

Peter

Crewmate: Peter is that crewmate that will 100% call you out on your bs, because he knows the game a little too well for you to be able to pull anything over him(because of all that free time waiting on patrol). You think all that stuff with the avengers didn't teach him strategy? Ha! This guy is PEAK detective. Gets his tasks done fast and when he's done is probably spending his time monitoring people on security or vitals. It only took him like 2 weeks to memorize all the maps and where everything is, so if you say you were in navigation, you better believe he's gonna ask you what task you were doing there. And if you don't answer to his liking, Peter will sound the "sus" alarm on you in two point five seconds and have everyone voting you out. He's probably the only person that could figure out MJ when she's the impostor. So if you're the impostor, watch your words and make sure your alibis are strong cuz little Petey ain't playin' no games. Definitely gets attacked from time to time by those people that are always like "sMaRt PpL rUiN tHe GaMe"

Impostor: He's pretty much the most average impostor. Sometimes he doesn't know what to say when people call him sus and he'll get voted out because he's being "too quiet" or because Ned keeps defending him. He'll mess up every now and then but for the most part, he's pretty decent. His style is usually to stay in the vents most of the game and kill when only one person's around. He probably bribes Ned to not rat him out by promising him that he won't kill him.

Name: It used to be just Peter, but soon he wanted an actual cool name so he chose Sherlock because of all the times when he was "too smart" and won the game too quickly and people would go "pack it up Sherlock" and vote him out.

Favorite color to be: It used to be red, but he quickly found that the more he was red the more people found him "sus" so now he's usually either blue or cyan

Ned

Crewmate: Pretty average crewmate. 80% of the time is covering for Peter, even if Peter is the impostor. Won't do much calling people out unless he's absolutely sure that he saw a kill or vent. Pretty chill and easily persuadable. You'd definitely want him on your team. If he ever gets wrongfully ejected he's the one that pitifully tries to plead his case saying stuff like "what???" and "guys it's not me!!!!" which doesn't really convince anyone and just makes him look more guilty. He'll still do his tasks after though.

Impostor: He's the impostor that doesn't want to be the impostor. If you're texting then maybe he can hold his own, but if you're doing voice chats, there's no way this guy is getting past ANYONE. He has so many tells that it's ridiculous. Is actually scared to vent too much because he's always paranoid that someone's gonna be right there when he jumps out. 8/10 the crewmates win when he's the imposter because he'll just kill like only two people the entire time or gets caught really early on.

Name: Probably some sci-fi reference like r2d2 or Potter

Favorite color to be: Yellow or white because he says those are the most "innocent" colors and he'll be less likely to get voted if he's those (not true but we'll let him believe it)

MJ

Crewmate: Suspicion times 100. Her motto: trust no one. Will get you kicked out in a heartbeat with a quick "trust me. if it's not them vote me next." An absolute unit but will never be caught getting emotional over a game. If she's ever wrongfully ejected her last words will be "whatever. go ahead. vote me and lose." She'll just come back in the next game with a vengeance and false accusations ready, not caring if the entire team loses because of it. She's especially dangerous to have because people usually trust her word. She always finds a way to seem the least suspicious. Though sometimes she'll get suspected because of her quiet nature. There's always that one guy that's ready to go "uR qUiEt ThAt'S sUs!!"

Impostor: If MJ is the impostor, you can just throw your whole phone away. You're not winning that game. Like, ever. She will do whatever it takes to win, even sell out her own her partner. On the off chance that you catch her being suspicious, she'll sabotage a bunch of things so that you can't call meetings and then she'll kill you when no one's around. She is ruthless and will hurt your feelings with the way that she will own everyone in the game. Hardly anyone ever expects her. Thrives on venting. You won't see her you'll just be doing a task and suddenly you'll be dead.

Name: Used to be just MJ but she got annoyed with all the people in the messages who always assumed she meant Michael Jackson or Michael Jordan so she changed it to Michelle

Favorite color to be: She literally doesn't care either way. Won't change the gameplay so why bother? Whatever color she ends up with she'll be fine.

Betty

Crewmate & Impostor: The most average player of them all. She wins some, she loses some. Nice partner to have though, because she'll never give you away. Probably the first to die most times. If she ever gets wrongfully ejected she's the one that uses her last words to say who she thinks it and doesn't even try to plead her case once it starts to look bad for her. She just finished the rest of her tasks.

Name: Probably either her name or some nickname or inside joke. Idk she just seems like the type of person to have a reference to something that absolutely nobody knows

Favorite color to be: Pink. Just because she likes pink.

Flash

Crewmate: Claims things are sus even if they aren't. Will totally be biased based on names. Anybody who knows him will never count him as a credible source. Gets voted out quickly alot because of how annoying he is in the game.

Impostor: He's the easiest to figure out. He's the impostor that obnoxiously accuses literally everyone else. And in all capital letters too. "ITS RED I STG. IF IT'S NOT HIM VOTE ME NEXT!" Calls everyone sus and always claims he's seen people running from the body. He usually self-reports and goes for the easy marks in electrical. He's not that good (even though he thinks he is) and it takes anyone with a brain to figure him out. Peter and MJ are bane of his existence in that game. If he gets wrongfully ejected he'll rage and probably leave the game like the little crybaby he is.

Name: Spideys#1 because he's really just THAT obsessed. Or when he's really feeling "teenage boy" he'll be cOchieman

Favorite color to be: Red because sPiDeRmAn'S hIs BeSt FrIeNd (ahahaha if only he knew)

May

She didn't know this game at all until Peter introduced her to it one day because he was bored. She LOVED it. He had to pry it out of her hands after she kept repeating "Hold on, one more!" So she downloaded on her phone and now she plays it whenever she's bored.

Crewmate: Average. Same as Betty.

Impostor: The way May can actually dominate being the impostor is sort of scary. And she'd always be the last person you'd expect because she just has that trusting vibe about her. Sometimes she'll mess up and give herself away, but for the most part, she's pretty good. Doesn't vent much. Just like Ned, she doesn't trust it.

Name: Madonna

Favorite color to be: She doesn't care much but she prefers to be purple, cyan, or orange

Funny Moment

《Peter calls an emergency meeting 10 seconds into the game》

- Michelle: what

- Betty: what

- Michelle: skip

- r2d2: bro already?

- Sherlock: okay everyone just listen

- k0chieman: bruh

- Michelle: okay listen to what

- Sherlock: flash what task are you doing

- Betty: alright were listening

- k0chieman: the divert thingy in navi

- r2d2: pete what is this

- Sherlock: yeah dude that diverty thingy is the second of two steps

- Sherlock: u never did the first

- Sherlock: which means ur an impostor faking

- Michelle: flash?

- k0chieman: no

- k0chieman: i did do it

- r2d2: the times low we gotta decide guys

- Sherlock: if you did it wouldve taken you 12-15 seconds to get there and were not that far in the game

- Sherlock: u cant already be doing it

- Sherlock: everybody vote flash

- r2d2: petes on x games mode

- Michelle: damn dude

- k0chieman: wtf parker

- Sherlock: bye dude

- Sherlock: worlds greatest detective strikes again

- Michelle: okay calm down pete

《couple seconds later》

. 　　　。　　　　•　 　ﾟ　　。 　　.

　　　.　　　 　　.　　　　　。　　 。　. 　

.　　 。　　　　　 ඞ 。 . 　　 • 　　　　•

　　ﾟ　　 Flash was An Impostor.　 。　.

　　'　　　 1 Impostor remains 　 　　。

　　ﾟ　　　.　　　. ,　　　　.　 .

Best Imposter Combos

Peter & Ned: Goes without saying. Nine times out of ten they're in the same room while playing this so they can just talk strategy to each other and take everyone out really quickly. Really annoying for everybody else, but they'll win so they're happy.

MJ & Peter: These two together are a force to be reckoned with. The second they see that they're both impostors they call each other up and get to business like they're on a mission. This stuff is serious. (More for Peter than MJ. She has to keep telling him that it's just a game.) He stays on security stuff, telling her when it's safe, and she racks up the kills. When things get heavy, they sabotage and then go on a spree. These two hardly ever lose. (When the whole squad is together whoever's in charge [if it's not Pete or MJ] usually puts the kill cooldown at max just in case these two get that they can't be at full power)

MJ & Betty: Betty isn't afraid to sacrifice herself so that they'll win and MJ is ruthless and quick with her kills. Both have the smarts to be able to be extremely persuasive and you'd hate for them to pick you to frame. Because being put against those two in the chatroom will lead you nowhere but abyss of space.

May & Peter: Parkers united. 'Nough said.

Tagging: @spideyyeet, @soft-petey, @spidey-reids-2003, @spidey-boy-89, @sovereignparker, @bubblebucky, @underoosjae

[romantic-misty]

about this kind of posts... I finally have to say smth because I'm annoyed both ways:

(sorry OP, I don't wanna offend you - I wanna offend some sort of ppl)

you shouldn't tell people your (actually human's) basic needs, if you need to beg for bare minimum it's not your fault they don't show effort nor even ask anything because it doesn't cross their mind to do simplest things somehow, they're just egoistic non caring assholes and you repeating yourself won't help much

some ppl can't truly guess some stuff which means they also can not question you on the matter they have no idea about so sure! speak your mind - tell 'em what you like and hopefully they will understand and remember - nobody is a telepath and you should inform others about your thoughts from time to time instead of forcing them to always jump around you or else "they don't give a fuck about you" or smth as it's probably untrue

just because EVERYONE doesn't mean you also have to be like this - if someone is manipulating/forcing you to do things you don't wanna because it's "normal" - believe me, it's not and even if - you have a right to be "weird" so different

not everyone has to say YES forever to something, people have moods and change their mind, remember to explain or at least tell someone you aren't in the mood or changed your mind but also don't forget asking each other if someone is into smth at the current moment unless otherwise specified like "you always can hug me unless I tell you to stop" and such, mistakes and accidental crossing boundaries happen but most important thing are good intention and a lot of discussing, don't break someone's trust constantly proving it wasn't a one time thing

if you weren't assertive enough and someone took advantage of you - don't blame yourself for not saying NO (especially if they were constantly making you feel unsafe to actually stop them or brainwashed you into thinking you want this etc.) - they should check if you're fine with smth and not use the fact you froze and was unsure or didn't have time to set certain boundaries, topis should also continue after certain actions and you can go back to it anytime! no matter what others say - it's never too much for the right person <3

you doing something you hate or what even traumatises you to meet someone's needs because it's compromise... no, it's not - if you're not enough for someone doesn't mean smth is wrong with you - it's probably not a match and that is ok! you will be loved elsewhere by being yourself, if someone cares more about their needs than hurting you with them then they're not a good person (yes, it's mostly about sexual needs) - and no, cheating isn't a proof you didn't give them enough, they can always leave but they're cowards and want to have both :)

if you sh or have depression - don't assume no one gives a shit about you just because they don't question you when you say "I'm fine" - harsh truth - even tho I totally understand why you say that phrase still nobody has to do anything besides accepting it - they might feel like you don't wanna talk about it as it's either personal or you don't trust them enough and maybe just prefer to take your mind out of this as topic is triggering so they won't risk making you feel even worse, say the truth or tell them why you don't wanna talk about certain things because lying to people might make them truly believe you, they have their own issues too they can be occupied with, they can be simply tired and even feel hurt that you don't want to open up to them or show their respect in this way and let you have space - you don't know what's in their mind so if you assume smth about them then think how they feel when you decide to hide the truth from them - as I said, you still have reasons and maybe right to but it doesn't make them immediately evil for not doing more/what you want without you actually TELLING them, I know it's hard and scary and some don't even deserve to know but there are those who truly love you and will understand and will help/support you - you're not a burden! I am aware you don't wanna worry anyone but you can as it's part of being a friend/partner/family and if someone acts like an ass towards you by calling you an attention seeker - they are the problem, not you

silent treatment is manipulation and if you try to show you being offended by that instead of trying to talk things through first you are not good, sorry not sorry

balance is everything but ppl don't wanna meet half way EVER so...

your needs motherfucker do you speak them

[notmuchofarolemodel]

It's 4 a.m

I'm still awake

Thinking of all the

shit

I've done

I've been told to meditate

ican'tican'tican't

it's called 'loving kindness'

the practice.

I was supposed to start by saying kind things to myself

but it became clear that I couldn't do that

either.

I tried sending love to other people.

but I couldn't decide who

so many people deserve

more

Than I've given them.

does laying

out

these words

d

i

f make me cool? quirky?

f I'm a shallow self-absorbed kid.

e

r i play ukulele ffs

e

n

t

l

y

I HATE PEOPLE

i hate me

i read three books today. people think im so clever. they're dissapointed when they find out the truth

SMART PEOPLE SLEEP DAMNIT

i have two running commanteries

in my brain

One is where The other is a web

It's like I'm of confusion but

Being constantly. blindingly clear

Watched or Thoughts.

Interviewed

.

noise

Is it better to have no noise?

when i put the headphones on, i hear nothing. Is it nice? no. my head is echoing. Ah, early morning paranoia. WHO'S CALLING MY NAME? I rip them off. No noise. My clock ticks.

I breathe. Something Hits my window. (under no circumstances look up) but the space between the noise is

a g o n i z i n g l y SILENT.

I don't listen for the noise that could shatter the void. but they're invading my ears like caterpillars, if they liked inhabiting ears. someone's downstairs. Footsteps. They're going to kill us all. "WHO'S THERE?!" I scream. silently. nobody. I'm crazy.

I try to block out the thoughts, and memories of what I've said to hurt people.

OK WHY AREN'T I TIRED?

I'm too tired to get up

though. Not uncommon. still.

I CAN'T SLEEP

I wish I could write songs.

but I can only do whatever the hell these are.

you know when the teacher falls silent and you know you're in trouble? I hate that.

I hate answering teacher questions

I hate being scared

I DON'T LIKE VERY MUCH NOWADAYS

I have to do the things I hate though

mY hoMeWoRK lOOmS in front of me. like something stuck in a door hinge. I can't shut the damn door on it and enjoy myself.

because i 'NEED' to do the stupid stuff(not what a need is defined as in business studies) but I don't.

hypocrite

adj. (1)/ me

i dislike people

I'm not unhinged but I'm desperate for someone to view me as normal

c a n' t y o u s e e

I act like this as a defense?

If the weirdo does something weird it's because she's weird so it's not questioned, but if other people do the same thing, they're judged ad ridiculed and pitied and Hurt and i don't want that

how can I so crave attention from other people but want to be left alone at the same time?

I don't want to sleep

I don't like the

lying sTILL LIKE a log

thing. Too much thinking.

I can't channel them into anything

When I was little I loved dressing up girly and fixing things. Pretending to build bookshelves with my plastic power tools. building bookshelves with my dad. I'm not asked to help with that stuff anymore. then I'm called lazy? I wonder why?? Hypocrites. I wonder where I get it from.

I gained like [lots of] kilos in a year. Yes growing, and yes hips and shit, yes I was really skinny but still

f a t t y ✓

hm. I need a shower.

It's 5:05 a.m

my parents think I don't get enough sleep anyway. shit.

Last time this happened, they didn't believe me so it's fine.

I'm a tad dizzy.

bystander

The world is too awake

For me to sleep

but yet I can only watch it go by.

the moon. How bright

For a ball of cheese.

C O M E D Y

lockdown is more busy than non lockdown

I feel numb

Indifferent

numb

OW. I dislike emotions.

huh.

I wish people would stop commenting.

"you're eating too loud"

*Insert laugh here*

"stupid"

*pitying look*

ok maybe it's not just comments.

the little ones hurt the most

when they didn't expect you to care about something stupid. About you.

I really wanted this jumper (profile pic) but they're sold out and were limited edition. FB said there was one left.

This started as a poem thing.

funny.

My pencil is running out.

I wrote it originally in watercolor pencil.

A bit of water and "all gone"

they were my first words .

my logical thought takes over and tells me my irrational thoughts are stupid. And me. I can't tell them apart anymore.

h

P i L os OPHY

gotta make it into a joke as per usual

hehe I'm nocturnal. ♪

WOULDIWAS SHOOKSPEARED

i want my phone back now. It's 7 minutes past 5:05 a.m. I'm sick of thinking.

I need a haircut

I don't like acting anymore because I dislike thinking about my emotions and acting is trying to harness these emotions that I've got locked away

[NOTE: my organs could implode somehow for some reason somehow]

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Emotion layered leftovers

1+2 constantly refreshed, not deep, happy sad angry etc.

They're the ones ppl see

3. Stuff. If I trust u, u get this mess

4. Lol idk

5+6 stagnant sad shit. Fermenting.

Haha my therapist would like my emotion kombucha. Yum. I'd like a therapist. Y O M

I'M DONE WRITING NOW

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜