#posting tenma siblings thoughts here is scary because i always feel like i'm gonna mischaracterize them despite loving them so much

[adhdtsukasa]

that's just a random thought that has popped in my head while trying to fall asleep, but... thinking about how tenma siblings' childhood and middle school days were filled with the fear of uncertainty of the next day, but they both probably experienced it so differently...

saki's fear of uncertainty was connected to a fear of the night — but she wasn't afraid of nightmares, of the dark or anything like that. it was not what's waiting on the other side of the dark room what was scary to her, it was what was going to happen to her that was truly frightening her so much. her days, in middle school especially, were always the same and repetitive, so she did not have to be scared of the well-known routine. but as soon as the night was coming, as soon as she had to close her eyes, she could feel this unpleasant, cold feeling creeping onto her weak body, she could hear this scary voice sound in the back of her head: what if she doesn't wake up tomorrow? what if this night is her last? how can she rest easy, when tomorrow is so uncertain?

tsukasa's fear of uncertainty was connected to a fear of the morning — he was the privileged one, after all. nights weren't scary for him, because he didn't have to be afraid of not waking up and wasting his youth forever. the night coming was just a sign of another day coming to an end and that was a good thing, because tomorrow surely will be better, right? the morning, however, was a bridge that was connecting the night with the next day; it was these few simple moments after he regains his consciousness that were going to determine this day, and he was afraid of them, he could feel this in his whole body, he could hear it deep down in his mind: is saki going to be okay today, will his family finally be happy at least for these few hours? are the things going to spiral down and will everything be even worse than it already is? will saki smile, or will saki cry once again? how can he feel rested, when today is so uncertain?

but now, they don't have to be afraid anymore. the uncertainty isn't as bad anymore.

because the night means that another wonderful day has come to an end, and the morning means that today will surely be a hopeful day full of smiles.

and they're both aware of it.