#posting shit like this is always so EMBARRASSING but it's a way to cooe

[ventique18]

- personal, a bit cheesy haha -

I haven't been feeling like myself lately.

"Draw for yourself" is the golden mantra of artists, but the fact is, you're not the only person in this world. There are many people who pass by and watch you, appreciate you, look forward to the new things you'll come up with. Your own satisfaction might be what weighs the most, but I believe that the one, two people who smile and cry and share the emotions you put into your work are just as important because it reminds you that you're not alone in this world. You never are.

So for those people who look forward to seeing what I do, thanks for feeling what I feel whenever I write or draw. Seriously, I consider every interaction I get as a little "I appreciate you" from every individual. Time is precious, after all, and I feel as though I was given a small piece of someone's life with every second they spend laughing or crying or just being emotionally connected with me through the thoughts I write down or draw.

I'm really not myself lately. I haven't been doing what I usually do. And I want to apologize to those people who look forward to what I do and to myself, not because I think I owe people, but because I know I'm not doing what I want to do. I want to draw. I want to put my thoughts into words. But I just. Can't. And it feels like with every movement I'm carrying the weight of the world with me.

So dramatic. But I just wanted to write down my turbulent thoughts. I want to apologize because that's one way of wholly admitting that there is something wrong, and that I want to make it right. So I'll draw a little everyday-- I won't be posting everyday, but I will draw a little and hopefully finish nice things eventually. I'm thinking of going back to comic making, but instead of my usual 4 panel comedy, I'll be making multiple short story pages. It'll take longer, but I think this type of improvement is exactly what I need to be proud of myself again.

To my burnout homies, I believe this is the enemy of mankind itself LOL. A man without passion is a dead man. So I'm going to do my best to reignite myself and be myself again.