#portrayals of both characters made my heart go to mush

[frostyalice]

fic: can i make it any more obvious? (4k)

Summary: BITE ME, JASPER!

The sign is hard to ignore and not so easy to read when it’s being waved wildly by some girl, Maria notices. When she looks harder, she swears she recognizes her.

“She always was weird,” Jessica chirps into her ear.

(or: a sk8er boi au that no one but me wanted or asked for)

a/n 1: well. i did it. i figure, if we’re throwing it back fandom-wise, we may as well throw it back to avril lavigne as well. although, tbh, i was more of a ‘girlfriend’ girl myself and not really a fan (or even very aware) of of sk8er boi until recently lol

Anyway! (to try to keep from wasting your reading time, i am letting you know now that the part of the fic that’s posted below is only a snippet of the full fic - a teaser, if you will. i didn’t realize how long this fic would get until i finished it. so in order to keep from having to scroll through all 4k words of the fic when someone visits my blog on mobile, i opted out of posting the full fic on tumblr. there will be a link to the complete ao3 version at the end of the snippet, or you can skip that and just click here now)

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Past…

She watches as he hesitates by his locker, trying to time his walk over to her, she assumes. He’s brave, she has to admit, if he plans on going over with all her snooty friends still around. She slowly puts another book inside her own locker, watching.

He closes his locker, takes a deep breath and then walks over to the small – even for her age – girl, surrounded by her group of friends. They don’t seem to notice him. After a minute or so he finally clears his throat.

“Maria,” he says quietly, making them aware of his presence. One of her friends taps her on the shoulder, pointing.

The girl, Maria, turns and Alice watches as she looks him up and down.

“What?” she finally asks.

“Um, I was just wondering,” he starts off slowly. One of Maria’s friends snickers. “If you’d like to go out. With me. Sometime.”

She watches as both of Maria’s best friend, turn eagerly to each other, hiding laughs behind their hands. Maria takes a while to answer, and when she does, her heart sinks.

“Look, Jason-”

“Jasper,” he corrects quietly.

“Yeah, whatever. Jackson,” she flicks her long hair over her shoulder. “I don’t remember ever having a conversation with you, but if I ever did something to make you think I liked you, I’m sorry. But, yeah, no. Sorry.”

From her spot across the hall, Alice can see Jasper push his tongue against the inside of his cheek. A habit he does when he’s flustered, she’s figured out.

“Right,” he says. Then, unceremoniously he turns and walks away.

“See you later!” she calls.

He doesn’t look back and immediately, all of Maria’s friends start gossiping amongst themselves.

“What a freak,” one says.

“Do you even know him?”

“He’s so tall.”

Alice watches Jasper start walking faster away from them. She spares one last look at the group and is startled to see that Maria is still watching Jasper’s retreating form. Quickly, she shuts her locker and fast-walks so she can catch up to the taller boy.

“That’s too bad,” she says in what she hopes is a sympathetic tone.

He seems surprised to see her beside him, but he nods, nonetheless. The only sign he even knows that she witnessed him getting rejected is the slight flush to his neck. “Thanks, Alice.”

He continues on his way down the wall, and Alice stumbles to a stop. One, because she has to turn here for her next class. But mostly, because, well, she didn’t even know he knew her name.

With a smile on her face, she skips on down to her next class. She gathers a few odd glances, but pays them no mind.

She’s always been weird. Always will be, too.

Being normal is so overrated anyway.

.

Alice watches as he walks into the cafeteria, with nothing on his tray but a banana. As usual.

That’s good, she thinks. Potassium.

She looks at her own cafeteria mush and think she may have made the right choice. She pushes it around, but is startled when a bag falls down on the bench a little farther from her. She looks up to find Jasper sitting diagonal from her. He looks up the table in her direction.

“Mind if I sit here?”

Alice eyes him and the quite large space between them. “All yours,” she says.

For the rest of lunch period, she tries to focus on making her lunch mush taste as appealing as possible, but is having no such luck. Plus, she keeps getting distracted by Jasper, because, well, he’s Jasper.

Currently, he seems to be doodling some sort of logo.

100 monkeys it seems to be trying to say.

“That looks cool,” she comments, probably looking more than a little snoopy, craning her neck up to see it in all its glory.

“Thanks, but I can’t really get all the components to fit so it all goes together, you know? As one piece.”

“Gotchya,” she says. She bites her lip. “Can I see it? Just real quick,” she says quickly.

He looks a little wary, but slides the sketchpad down to her anyway. Quickly, she opens the book so she can use a blank page while still being able to see how he was trying to go about it before. She quickly copies what he has drawn already, tweaking some things here and there, and adding in something that resembles a monkey’s tail hanging from the top part. She slides it back to him, feeling shy all of a sudden.

“Alice,” he says, and her heart flutters a little. “This is really good. Can I show the rest of the guys this?”

“Of course,” she chirps. “What’s it for, by the way?”

“Oh, I’m in a band. Sort of,” he tacks on.

She already knew this. She remembers a few months ago he and some of his friends had handed out flyers in front of the school. She hadn’t been able to go because she had had to babysit her sister.

“That’s cool,” she says.

read full fic on ao3 --->

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a/n 2: for Vibes, you can refer to these wonderfully old pictures

and here is one of ashley and jackson bc whenever i write alice and jasper i can only imagine jackson and ashley. bc movies always ruin my original portrayal of characters (as in i can only see the actors now, and can’t even remember how i originally pictured the book characters, not that i think they’re bad) but it works, bc jackson was in a band. so. whoo.

and to think i thought i wouldn’t be writing any more jalice for a while after my whumptober fiasco.. and then wrote this in probably a collective few hours.. whoops

[elenafisher]

chelsea watches (read: is agonized by) “avengers: endgame”

i just got home from endgame and i have a lot to say about it!

OVERALL:

i... liked it? i think? i can’t tell. 

there’s probably going to be a lot of complaining in this post, yet i didn’t actually hate the movie. but there was a lot to digest, so i’m sure my feelings will change over the next couple of weeks.

this movie was edited weird and i think it gave me whiplash. 

the tone was dramatic and desperate, then lighthearted and fun, and then back to dramatic and desperate before i could so much as blink. it was very jarring!

it also made me cry. 

robert downey jr. has always been very earnest in his portrayal of tony stark, but he gave all he had in this one. i was on the edge of tears watching him the whole time, really. there’s definitely a sense of finality to his performance.

those last 20 minutes had me weeping a bit. when they put the arc reactor on the bundle of flowers... oh, my heart. :’(

THE GOOD:

(most of) our characters are back! 

but was there ever any doubt? the stakes were made to feel high, but they never really were. you always came away with the feeling that they were all gonna make it.

no word on vision, though! pretty confused about that one. i know he was killed after the snap occurred, so i don’t think they actually can bring him back, but i always thought that he would, since they have this to film still.

it was very well made. i hope they keep bringing back the people who work on the sets, the cinematography, and the lighting, because it was all so well done.

we need to raise one for alan silvestri and his amazing soundtrack. 

oh, did anyone else notice the emphasis on DAUGHTERS? 

tony’s daughter morgan

scott’s daughter cassie

clint’s daughter lila

thanos’s "daughters”, nebula and gamora

to me, it felt like they were setting up these girls for potentially taking up their father’s mantles, which would actually be cool as fuck.

morgan stark is absolutely the cutest little bean i’ve ever seen in my life. 

I LOVE YOU 3000!

her scenes with tony were so sweet.

that cheeseburger parallel... oh man.

really, every scene that every person shared with tony was really good. you can just feel that everybody was giving everything they had because they knew they only had so much time left to play these characters together, and they wanted to get these final performances right.

tom holland, you heartbreaker. the audience in my theater went absolutely nuts when he finally returned. but when he was crying as he was talking to tony for the last time, oh man. 

“i lost the kid.” please...

THE BAD:

i still don’t really get what they’re doing with thor.

i don’t share this opinion much because this is tumblr and everyone loves this movie, but i didn’t like ragnarok, and i don’t like what’s become of thor or bruce. i wasn’t really checking on these two before, but now they’re just the comedy reliefs of the MCU.

chris hemsworth is funny, of course, and thor is a badass, of course, but they were just trying so hard with him. 

it kind of feels like they’re just pulling him apart, like one group still wants him to be the noble leader of asgard and the other just wants him to be the court jester. so, rather than decide, they just mushed their ideas together.

captain marvel: i knew she wasn’t going to be in the movie much, because she would’ve done everything in, like, 30 minutes, but they really, really underutilized her. seriously, she was only in this one, at most, for five minutes.

but, in those five minutes, she got a new haircut and kicked all kinds of ass, which are both wins.

THE UGLY:

STEVE ROGERS, SIR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

i can’t believe they hit the undo button on cap’s story.

rather than have him grow and develop in his new role in the future he never wanted or expected to receive, they just had him go back in time to marry the one that got away.

but don’t get me wrong y’all; steve and peggy hurt me so good. i live for their angst. but they weren’t supposed to get together like this!

it’s gross because peggy moved on. she was able to pick up the pieces and create something wonderful for herself by having a fulfilling career and a happy marriage with another man.

steve should’ve accepted her choice. if he loves her so much, he should’ve accepted that he lost her and, since she moved on without him, he has to move on without her.

i can almost get the poetic cinema that they were going for: after tony loses his chance at having a family and living his life, steve is woken up and realizes how much he’s been missing out on, so he decides to go out there and discover what he’s been running away from all this time.

but, rather than do those things, or literally anything else, steve goes back in time to... marry peggy.

like, he could’ve traveled the world with sam and bucky, or gone solo for a while, or even hit up sharon again. 

sharon carter, what a waste. they really couldn’t commit to the idea of her and steve together, could they? 

but as soon as they confirmed sharon to be peggy’s niece, there was just no way a romance could blossom. it’s kind of hilarious how in a cinematic universe where raccoons talk, characters time travel, and AIs can be 3D printed, kissing the niece of your former flame is still considered to be the weirdest thing about it.

seriously: i find it all so vulgar and manipulative.

the one good thing that came out of this was sam wilson, the only worthy captain america, receiving the shield. 

i’ve read that some people are upset that sam got the shield instead of bucky. like, did y’all watch the last movie? let bucky have his plums and his goats. he’s done fighting other people’s wars.

THE EVEN UGLIER:

i got problems, y’all, and those problems have two names: natasha romanoff and clint barton.

i ship these two because everything in the avengers (2012) led me to believe that these super cool assassins who were fighting each other were actually in love with each other and it was them against the world (which doesn’t sound familiar at all, i know).

the characters had history and scarlett johansson and jeremy renner had chemistry. i saw it and i know all y’all saw it. 

so, y’all can imagine how goddamn appalled i was when i first read that natasha and clint were not only not lovers, but that clint actually had a secret family, with a secret wife, on a secret farm, and that we were going to be told this with absolutely no build-up whatsoever. 

but y’all could tell that the russos were as tired as i was when it came to accepting those facts! 

they decided to throw caution to the wind and show some more intimacy between natasha and clint, which was delicious. finally, some good fucking food.

i mean, the necklace? she was wearing her necklace again!

to me, it seemed like natasha had fallen in love with him all those years ago, but he was either already married or had turned her down (or both?), and she was never able to act on her feelings for him. i think that clint was also in love... and perhaps knew that he could never be with her, because of their lifestyles and her past, and chose laura instead. or something agonizing and unfulfilling like that.

(i really hope her upcoming movie expands on this.)

and i do think that she loved him. like, romantically. she couldn’t stop touching him the whole movie (HER HANDS ON HIS FACE!!! she’s so worried for him i’m crying) and was shaking, she was so relieved, upon being reunited with him.

it is some consolation that no matter what, you are never able to deny that natasha and clint love each other: even when they’re not romantic partners, they are definitely platonic life partners. their mutual devotion to one another, in almost every universe in the comics and in these movies, is incredibly strong and moving. 

so, rather than endure clint’s death, natasha chose to sacrifice herself so that he could get the stone and, ultimately, be reunited with his family. and, on paper, it sounds okay... except, it really isn’t.

y’all wanna know why it’s not okay?

it’s not okay because natasha was an original avenger, and we were never given the chance to spend time with her, or become emotionally invested in her journey, or to care about her reasons for making the ultimate sacrifice. 

like, i cared about natasha, but i felt that i would’ve cared so much more (and that the audience could’ve, as well) had we’d been able to have a front row seat to her “atonement” arc. 

because, as an audience, we sort of started in medias res: while she was not initially forthcoming with who she was or what she was doing, natasha came to be seen as a reliable and capable ally by the avengers, her second appearance onscreen. we are given no real reason to distrust her because she’s so desperate to find redemption, which she’s made apparent in almost every movie, and it’s hard to hate somebody working so strongly for another chance.

i mean, this journey would’ve been made so much more badass by us experiencing it firsthand, rather than relying on the hearsay from the directors, writers, and actors. we should’ve gotta a miniseries starring natasha romanoff as the black widow, so we could finally see what she did to become so disgusted with herself and so feared by everyone else. 

this is (partially) why so many people adore bucky. we’ve seen him as the best friend, the fellow comrade, before he was forced to become a mindless killing machine. we’ve seen him kill and cause absolute mayhem. but now we’re watching bucky grow out from that and become something more (and, hopefully, something better). 

basically, natasha romanoff should’ve received that same treatment. we needed to explore all of her facets, not just some of them. 

tl;dr: we should’ve had more time with natasha.

it’s also not okay because natasha’s sacrifice, one that was both irreversible and absolutely pivotal to the fate of the final battle, was not given nearly the same amount of respect that tony received after his demise.

while we all owe a lot to robert downey jr. for his choice to portray, and continue portraying, tony stark / iron man, he is not the most important avenger. 

it’s also worth noting that he did not have to be the one to snap his fingers. i mean, anyone could’ve been given what tony was wearing and then wielded the gauntlet. but, like natasha, he made a choice to sacrifice his life for the greater good.

yet, only tony was given an elaborate funeral. no matter how you slice it, it’s enormously disrespectful to a veteran team member. for this ultimate sacrifice to be made by the only woman on the original crew is doubly insulting.

AND ALL OF THIS IS MADE WORSE BY THE FACT that natasha’s death mirrors gamora’s. they’re identical, right down to the music that plays and how the camera focuses on their bloody bodies.

the russos were probably trying to invoke poetic cinema again here, but the scene comes across as somewhat lazy and insincere. like, they can’t even kill her right!

as terrible as this scene is, i want to give scarlett and jeremy a round of applause for it. you really got the sense that these characters were more than ready to die for each other, and that’s only because scarlett and jeremy were able to sell the emotional intimacy of the scene so well. 

all of it is too little, too late, however.

allow me to conclude this rambling nonsense by stating that i also think they condensed her character arc too much. like, i know this branches off of what i was just talking about a dozen bullet points ago, but even if natasha were to receive this ending, i feel that she received it too soon, y’know?

there should’ve been more scenes in the previous films dedicated to her, and her feelings, and how she relates to any given situation, because another problem that drags this scene down is the lack of any information about natasha. 

like, even when assembled with the other avengers, she feels remote.

perhaps that’s intentional, given that the character’s a spy and has been enigmatic about every other area of her life for so many years. but i think she’s been written to be too enigmatic.

[headstrongblake-a]

Babes! what even is this!? how are there 450 of you following me? first off, THANK YOU. when i created octavia back in july of the last year i never imagined i would ever make it to almost a year of writing her. i was just having fun for the time being, writing a character i had fallen in love with. it never even crossed my mind that so many of you would enjoy my take on her. now, i can’t imagine not being on this blog. i’ve made so many memories & strong friendships that i’ll carry with me always. i just really wanted to thank you all for being so amazing and kind & it’s a pleasure seeing you all on the dash. each day your guy’s writing inspires me in so many ways. my octavia would be nothing without you guys!

Alright, so here’s some love for the ones who’ve stuck by me for almost a full year, for the people i admire every single day, for the ones i love & the friendships i’ve made, and for all the lovelies i watch from afar. i’ll try to not keep repeating myself but basically loves, you’re all amazing and i love every single one of you.

MY LOVES;

@foxofthe100 // @louisofthe100 // @ginaofthe100 - brittany my dear, i honestly do not know where octavia and i would be without you and your babes. writing with you and creating different worlds is always one of my favourites. we can literally talk for hours building new threads and head canons together. i think you along with heather, are one of the people who has at least 10 threads going with my little o. not only has writing with you strengthened my own writing, you’ve become truly one of my best friends. skyping with you and sending letters, and just getting to have you in my life is something i’ll always be grateful for. i love you britt.

@faultedleader // @unordiinary - oh no, heather it’s you. and i’m about to get pretty mushy here. i will forever be thankful that you sent in that ‘you’re not a monster/you’re a monster’ meme over nine months ago because from there we’ve only grown. i can’t even control octavia, whenever she sees a new idea her immediate thought is to message you so we can do the thing. i love sending you heartbreaking gif sets & that fact that most of this season we both spoiled each other before the episode so that we could handle getting through it! i love all the threads we come up with and the many different ways we’ve managed to break the blake siblings. i love the friendship we’ve developed & i never want to fall out of touch with you! you’re so incredible heather & i’m not sure what i would do without you. thank you heather!

@soldiiermade - karli, i don’t know where to begin. since day one i’ve been mesmerized with your writing. be it your threads, ask meme responses or your metas i always have to read every last word. i love the two worlds we’ve created for the blake siblings because they always feel like they have this beautifully realistic way about them. they’re complex & i feel like we can never run out of headcanons for these two. your friendship is one i will always treasure with me & i appreciate you so much. anytime i’m writing with you i can feel my writing constantly being challenged & strengthened and it’s such a great pleasure to be able to do it. i love how much you care about bellamy and that you refused to sugarcoat all the traits that people sometimes seem to villainize him for. your portrayal of bellamy is so raw and true & i still can’t believe i get to write alongside with you. ps - when we’re both not so busy with rl, we need to create more worlds!

@trikrulinkon - k, by now i’m sure i don't even have to tell you how attached i am to your writing. i mean just today you were telling me to stop giving you special treatment. ;) i think it’s pretty obvious that i enjoy having you around!! i don’t know how it is, but the second you reply to something all of a sudden my muse for that particular verse always skyrockets! octavia is always demanding i reply to yours right away. but one of the things i also love about writing with you, is that even if it takes me a million years to reply to something, i never feel guilty or bad because we’ve literally been writing within the two same verses since the summer! neither of them have died & they’ve only grown larger and more complicated. i mean, i guess you’re pretty awesome to, always giving me real advice, not sugarcoating things & it’s a bonus that you always give me laughing fits. you’re pretty fucking special & you’re not allowed to go anywhere. :)

@crimiinalchemiist // @valleyborn - danny my love, everything we write together is pure gold. i just love everything we do together and i enjoy all we’ve put our babes through!!! you’re a great friend, one of the kindest i’ve ever met and my life would be a little more dull without you in it. talking with you & writing with you is always a great time and you are truly the jasper to my octavia. no one else could compare to the bond we’ve built between them. i love you with all my heart danny and i appreciate everything you’ve ever done for me & appreciate your beautiful soul in my life.

@shxcklash // @nctyourplaything - emily you are the light of my life. gosh, i don’t know where octavia would be without you and harper. the bond we’ve created between our two babes is one i will never forget and one i hope we will always continue to write. your harper is so important to me and octavia!! mandy, oh goodness, this chick is insane! and i love her to pieces. you couldn’t pay me enough money to believe that you’re not actually channeling mandy while writing her character because i have NEVER seen someone so SPOT on with their portrayal before. it’s incredible. emily your friendship means the world to me & you’re one of my best friends! i love you dear!

@brckenmartyr //@echokcmazgeda // @auroraxblake - mama katie, goodness we don’t write together all the time anymore, probably my fault and we should change that, but there’s never a day where i don’t think of you or smile as I scroll through your tumblr, twitter, or instagram. there’s a reason you’re called mama katie, and i just have so much love for you. sending letters & cards back and forth with you will always be something i treasure ( really i do, they’re all in a special box ) and you’ve been there for me more times than i can count. i love you with all my heart and i’m so glad that writing octavia brought me to you. i don’t know what i would do without you.

@madegrounder // @mademurderer - kate my love, my babe, my original twin. ugh what can i even say except that i just love you so much!! you were the first octavia i ever wrote with & if i remember correctly the first bellamy i ever wrote a modern with and boy oh boy have we come a ways since then. we don’t write together as much as i’d like, my fault again because life is insanely hectic, but when we do write together i’m constantly left in tears & awe of how incredible you are. you’re always breaking my heart & putting it back together within minutes and i appreciate you so much. timezones are stupid so also tend to miss each other but you’ll always be insanely important to me. i want a thousand things with you <3

@hoperisen // @stupiidsheep // @hisprometheus // @mythosraised - tot, my hubbie, if you had asked me 10 months ago if i would be talking to you/writing with you or friends with you, i would have probably laughed in your face. because the second i saw your blogs i turned into a pile of mush just mesmerized by your writing. i was crazy intimidated by you but look at us now! i absolutely adore writing with you & still can’t believe you ever got me to write with ilian ( it was a semi hard sell at first to be honest ). your ilian is the only one i can write with because you just capture all your characters so beautifully. not only is your writing amazing, YOU are one hell of a person. your attitude and outlook on life has me constantly wishing i was just like you! i admire you so much.

@amongthcwreck - liz, i admire you so much! like insane amounts to be honest. every morning ( because you seem to be on when i’m sleeping/just waking up ) i always scroll through all your threads because i’m in love with the many different worlds you throw bellamy into! you always ring true to his character no matter where he is, and i just respect the hell outta you! i want a million things with you & definitely would love to get to know you more ooc!!! please keep rocking bellamy because you’re such a light on my dash every day!!

@portectorisms - below you is the reason i started indie, but you my friend, are the reason i chose octavia. i must have spent a good six months sending you ask memes and just sitting there in awe of how brilliant your writing is, i knew you were a person i had to write with. i’ve always had a love for the 100 but reading your blog constantly is what really pulled me into want to write octavia blake and for that, i will forever be thankful and love you for. even tho i’m slower than slow, writing you is one of the greatest highlights. i always feel my writing challenged with you.

@spctlessminds // @packgenius - emily, you’re the only reason i have the chance to do this. without you, i probably would NEVER have joined indie. i would still be spiraling in circles trying to find a creative outlet after the group had died down. all the things i’ve learned in indie, all the bonds i’ve forged, and the friendships & memories i’ve made, are all because of you my dear. i love you & i appreciate your friendship so much. i know since being on octavia, my muse for anything else has fallen to the side a little but lately i’m trying to find a balance. so soon i’ll get it right! emily, thank you so much for being by my side the last.. goodness, 3.5 - 4 years?? you mean the world to me.

@shestried - J, babe i love you so much. every time i chat with you, snap with you, or write with you i’m having the time of my life. yes, even in those times where you’re literally ripping my heart out of my chest and stomping on it. i love writing with you and the different scenarios we constantly come up with. i love that like you said, we can go days or weeks without talking but when we do it feels like no time has passed at all. i think that’s a sign of a really good friendship? or something like that. i love you darling & i appreciate having you in my life!

THOSE I LOVE & WISH TO WRITE MORE WITH;

@anditsxsorrows / @accidentprcne / @imnobodysson / @onyafevayuj / @lcvedher / @weaknessisdeath / @wanderdestined // @basiicphysics / @everyturnanycost / @redempticnarc / @robinhoodmaia / @idsurvive / @earthkeepcr / @darkestbeforedxwn / @floathim / @gatekeepcr / @kalipsou / @bxmbsxaway / @bornbutterfly / @indiebryan / @linkkon / @commandsdeath / @hxdaleksakomtrigedakru / @childcharlotte / @othcrsidex

THOSE I ADMIRE/STALK FROM AFAR aka we should do things;

@toysoldicr / @leyosgona / @kingroun / @madefighter / @ncncriminalway / @shewhofights / @icymenace / @haihefaroun / @eldcstson / @iintcntiions / @hedaiisms