#pluto's face plant there was pretty epic though i must admit

[keyofjetwolf]

Jet Wolf Summarizes Act 37

The manga and I kind of hate each other. This is unfortunate, but still, I’m determined to come out of this with something. Rather than spend energy on a liveblog that’s increasingly negative, I’m reading each manga act (mostly) silently, and then writing up summaries at the end. I won’t pull my punches. There’s going to be criticism and snark about the manga, either wholesale or in details. If that isn’t a thing you feel like reading, please skip this post!

I’m going to open my summary of Act 37 by saying there’s an awful lot of this going on in it:

What is that? NOBODY KNOWS. It appears to be dark splotches and a melting person saying “OOOOOHHHHHH” a lot and generally weirding everybody out. But that description summarizes about 50% of this issue, and while I acknowledge that I’m speaking in hyperbole, IT’S NOT BY MUCH.

Saturn awakens. I’d say that’s a spoiler, but we all knew it was fucking coming. That’s it, that’s literally all that happens in this chapter, and yet, astonishingly, the arc still isn’t done. IT’S STILL NOT FUCKING DONE I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT’S NOT DONE YET BUT IT’S NOT. The best I can think is that Takeuchi accidentally spilled ink on the last half of her pages, made them the middle instead, and then quickly rewrote for a “cliffhanger” to give her time to redraw them. If anyone has an explanation that makes more sense, I’m willing to hear it.

Sigh. Okay, let’s get it over with. Usagi and Chibs attack in unison, it’s “OHHH” and also “~melt~”, and yet despite this verb:

Look, I’m just going to put it out there that this thing seems to be getting off on it all. There, it’s been said, let’s move on. Usagi decides this means they need YET MORE POWER (makes sense, remind me to call Usagi when I have a kitchen fire), and so everyone attacks. YES INCLUDING MAMORU OF COURSE INCLUDING MAMORU WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE READING.

Golly gosh their attacks did not work how was it possible for anyone to see that coming certainly not me. He -- and I’m guessing this is Pharaoh 90 but until like five seconds ago I thought it was Mistress Nine, so who can fucking tell at this point -- tries to leave but can’t because of the Outers’ force field. Which fails immediately. Thanks guys, sure glad you were dicks all arc. As the force field falls, they can see the Tau Nebula above, because you can just shift entire galaxies in space with no repercussions whatsoever. But we know things are bad, because we have one, two, three, FOUR GWOOOs IN TWO PAGES. This may be a new high, someone call the Gwoooness Book of World Records.

Usagi and Chbis attack harder, but Chibs passes out and stops flying. Mamoru (still flying!) is there to catch her. Boy, the twists and turns in this chapter! It’s like riding a very slow monorail! Whee! 

Spilled ink Darkness starts flooding in and the Outers are forced to yield under the strain. Or, more accurately:

Do you like how Michiru is the only one who faints and is completely incapacitated? And so is somehow even less there for the next several pages? YEAH ME TOO

With the darkness going everywhere, Usagi and the Inners attack again, somehow expecting different results and being surprised when that doesn’t happen. The Inners decide they’re done with all this and need another nap, and all plummet out of the sky, each conveniently crashing next to an Outer. (Rei, Ami, and Michiru all have to share. Michiru’s still down right now by the way, it’s great.) Usagi realizes she doesn’t actually need anybody anyway, and she summons the Grail again (only now it’s a “Legendary Moon Chalice” apparently, thank marketing for that last second rebranding) before flying into the darkness, leaving Mamoru to freak the fuck out.

So for those of you following along at home, all the Senshi are down and out, Saturn doesn’t exist yet, and Usagi’s going off into this mystical darkness alone because she doesn’t really need them anyway.

IT’S NOT THIS IS WHAT I’M SAYING

As I’m doing this portion of my project I’m trying not to make direct manga and anime comparisons, because they’re really very different beasts. But god damn, it’s hard when you have something so pitch perfect as 124/125, which STILL rips me open and leaves me bleeding on the ground with a thank you on my lips, and this mess of whatever the fuck is happening in this arc. The difference is so stark, I feel it’d be dishonest to NOT mention it.

Anyway, Usagi flies off alone while everyone can only watch. She attacks, I think? If that’s what’s happening here?

The Talismans glow, everything glows, it’s GWOOO and g♥l♥o♥w

and then well shit, Saturn’s here. THANKS FOR RUINING OUR GOOD TIME HOTARU

And I’m not saying that’s unfair, BUT THE FIRST WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH WERE “I AM THE HARBINGER OF DEATH” AND JUST MAYBE YOU WANT TO WORK ON YOUR HELLOS A TIP FROM ME TO YOU

Also after you appear, YOU DON’T FUCKING SHUT UP IT’S SEVEN STRAIGHT PAGES OF EXPOSITION AND IT’S NOT EVEN INTERESTING EXPOSITION

MAYBE THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T GET INVITED PLACES

WOULD IT FUCKING KILL YOU TO ASK HOW SOMEONE ELSE’S DAY WAS

IT’S CALLED ACTIVE LISTENING SATURN

Then it’s another twelve hundred pages of what I think is the death of Pharaoh 90 Mistress Nine Spilled Ink Pharaoh Nineink, everyone freaks out that Saturn will lower the Silence Glaive and end the world, and I’m just left saying “Oh yes, please, yes.”