#plus the added pressure to keep the stuff bc it's rude to get rid of and i got yelled at for getting rid of gifts i didn't want growing up
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been fighting all day (week really) the urge to just like completely declutter my apartment and get rid of things i don't need because i've been feeling like i have too much stuff and general need to pare things down to bare essential anxiety
and now a half hour before bedtime got news that's making all that whatifhousingisn'tstablegottagetridofeverythingtoomuchstuffhavetohaveonlywhaticanmove anxiety ramp up. and like. first i know going on a cleaning spree isn't actually going to be productive especially bc this is entirely just anxiety and would be acting on the anxiety instead of like any actual need to do so, and. also. a half hour before bed is not the time to start this kind of project. at all.
#i managed to use all my dishes and was like wow i have so many dishes i need to get rid of some of them#when like so many dishes is like i have three bowls and four plates#but also really it's the pots n pans bc i bought a full cooking set way back when i first moved in#but i really only use one pot and one pan that aren't even part of the set for like 90% of my cooking#but the other stuff comes in useful sometimes but also i could manage without them which means i don't need them so i can get rid of them#and this is why gift giving holidays cause me a bunch of anxiety bc like stuff and clutter and too much#plus the added pressure to keep the stuff bc it's rude to get rid of and i got yelled at for getting rid of gifts i didn't want growing up#but yeah trying to make my brain stop screaming before bed is uh AAAAAA
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