#plus it's filled with potential angst if you stick to parts of canon like I'm doing here

[doyelikehaggis]

Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Damon Salvatore x Luke Parker (The Vampire Diaries)

Stretching, Damon blinks his eyes open against the sunlight streaming in through the windows. He pauses for a moment once he can see properly, taking in the briefly unfamiliar room. Then he spots the Whitmore hoodie flung over the back of a chair and he smiles to himself.

He glances at the empty space on his right. Assuming that classes have probably started already, he just settles back down, not having any reason to leave quite just yet. As he goes to close his eyes again, the door to the little dorm room swings open.

Damon's eyebrows shoot up as Luke walks in, barely noticing that he's awake. He's got an alert, almost panicked look all across his face. It's more the suit that's got Damon's attention.

"Okay," he says, and Luke's head snaps around to look at him. Damon sits up properly and waves a hand lazily at him. "I'll bite. Why?"

Luke's already turned to the mirror to finish buttoning up his shirt. "Why what? And--" he throws a confused glance at Damon's reflection, "--I thought you said you had to leave early today."

"Change of plans." Damon shrugs. "And why to the suit? You're a college student in Virginia majoring in English Lit and History, not some law student in Harvard."

"You know, I did consider law," Luke says. "But Liv said I wasn't allowed to abandon her and she refused even the idea of taking the LSAT's, so." He gives him a wry smile. "English Lit and History. A fair compromise."

Damon's not oblivious. Luke's told him this stuff before, they both know he has. And his voice is just evasive enough, his expression the perfect amount of please buy it and leave it alone.

He considers doing just that. It's not as if Luke has any obligation to tell him anything, and he really shouldn't care if he's keeping something to himself. But for some reason that he can't quite place, he does.

"Nope," he says after a beat. "Strike one. Two more tries."

Luke rolls his eyes and scoffs. Probably because he knows that Damon can't do anything if he just clams up and doesn't tell him. Compulsion doesn't work and Damon wouldn't even think about hurting him. He'd just be left to stew in not knowing.

But then Luke glances at him, their eyes catching. He sighs and drops his hands from his shirt. Finally, he turns to him.

"I... have to meet someone," he says, still vague, still evasive.

Damon's eyes track him around the room, narrowing. "What does that mean?" he asks, watching him pick up a tie from the chair.

Luke raises an eyebrow, cracking an elusively entertained grin at him. "It means I'm meeting someone? For breakfast?"

He pauses for the first time, actually slowing down rather than looking like he's roadrunner on fast forward.

"Hold on. Are you jealous?" he asks, his eyes wide with delight.

"Oh" --Damon's the one scoffing now-- "please. Like I have anything to be jealous of. You're not my boyfriend. You can go off and have secret breakfasts in a fancy suit with whichever stereotypical jocks you like. I could even set you up with two. You've met Matt and Tyler, right?"

That glint of delight only grows brighter, and Luke laughs in disbelief now.

"Oh my god." His tie is momentarily forgotten. "You are totally jealous. Wow. And I thought I was the one who couldn't keep things casual."

Damon rolls his eyes, his jaw tightening as he looks away from him for a moment. That knowing, prodding stare must have some compelling ability of its own because he finds it hard to lie while holding it.

It's irritating enough that Luke's right. A little pit of jealousy has opened up in his chest like it's a black hole trying to suck him in. But he doesn't do jealousy. It's an off-limits emotion and it is certainly not allowed in casual situations involving blond haired, blue eyed, Gemini witches who wanted to be a lawyer.

"But I really don't think you need to be jealous of me having breakfast with my father and sister."

Damon's eyes snap back to him sharply. "Your father? The one who tried to kill me?"

"Don't have another father, so, yeah, that'd be the one," Luke says dryly.

He moves back to the mirror to fix his tie, clearly getting nowhere trying to do it blindly.

"Why exactly is your dear old dad in town?" Damon asks. His eyes narrow again. "And why do you need to be so dressed up to have a very early breakfast with him and Liv?"

Luke visibly hesitates, eyes fixed on his own face reflected back at him. Damon watches his lips part, taking in a breath.

"Because it's our birthday," he says, almost sighing as he does, his shoulders deflating.

There's a twist in Damon's chest, stopping him dead. He stares at him, partly hoping he heard him wrong. That part fades quickly when he sees the dismayed, daunted look in Luke's eyes and knows he didn't.

"If today's your birthday, that would mean..." Damon doesn't need to finish. They both know what it means.

But Luke sighs properly and draws himself back up, replacing his dismay with firm determination. "It means Liv and I are twenty-two and officially of merging age."

Damon's eyebrows furrow. "So, what, you're going to dinner with your dad so you can give him exactly what he wants? To merge you?"

"No." Luke turns back to him and his eyes are blazing far more confidentally than Damon's seen in that crystal blue before. "We're going to convince him to let Jo and Kai merge instead."

It's a terrible plan, Damon decides right away. Many things could go wrong, and not many good outcomes spring to mind. Just the words Jo, Kai, and merge send a chill through him. As does the idea of Luke meeting with his dad now that he and Liv can merge.

"And your reason for thinking that you can talk Papa Parker into that is...?" Damon prompts sarcastically, but he's genuinely hoping Luke has some trick up his sleeve.

"Liv and I have to try," he says.

The hope deflates. So much for that.

Damon finally pushes the covers back from Luke's bed, swinging his legs over the side to stand up.

"Okay, not to sound like I'm doubting you or this idea," he says, and Luke's expression tells him he's not a great liar. "But what if he says no? And if he does miraculously say yes for some insane reason, have you thought of a way to stop Kai the murderous siphon witch who would absorb Jo in a heartbeat?"

"Jo can beat him," Luke insists with just as much confidence that it's starting to unnerve Damon. "She's stronger now."

A whole load of arguments for why this is not going to work jump straight into Damon's mind. As he opens his mouth to voice them, though, Luke takes a step forward and places his hands on both of his arms.

"It's gonne be fine," he says, so easily like he really believes that, even with the touch of anxiety in his voice. "But I really need to go before my dad shows up here looking for me."

Damon grimaces. "Can't imagine that scenario going well."

Luke laughs and shakes his head. "No, me neither. So, feel free to let yourself out whenever you wanna leave. Assuming I don't die during this breakfast, I might see you later."

Damon's still thinking of reasons why this isn't going to go well. But Luke's convinced, and this plan might not necessarily fail. Hopefully.

He sighs, his lips pressing together. His eyes dart down and Luke arches an eyebrow.

"You're not gonna convince anyone to do anything with your tie like that," he says.

Reaching down, he undoes the practically perfect knot and redoes it himself. Luke just smiles, his gaze strangely soft as it remains fixed on him the entire time.

"You gonna kiss me for good luck next?" Luke jokes.

Damon's mouth twitches. He finishes and pats Luke's chest, acting like he's going to step back. His fingers curl around the tie again, but he pulls this time and presses his lips to his.

Luke's still smiling as he returns the kiss, his amusement passing over to Damon. Then his hands are between them, on Damon's chest, and he pushes himself back.

"For luck," Damon says, winking, letting go of him completely. He shrugs. "And in case your crazy father decides to kill you. It would be cruel to not get one last kiss to remember you."

Luke scoffs, shaking his head at him, but his smile is still in place as he turns away from him and heads for the door.

Damon's positive he's going to have to think of something fast to deal with whatever the fallout of this is going to be but he has some hope that it'll work. If he ignores the clamping sense of dread that's weighing down on him for some reason. He's sure it's nothing. Nothing at all.

[seenashwrite]

Hey! I was wondering if you could help me out a bit? I'm about to post a one shot, as I was wondering what I put st the top other then how many words and such? I'm just beginning to actually post stories and I want to get things right haha. Sorry if I'm disturbing you or anything!

Oh lovely @spookyphsyco - you have come to the right type-A advice-giver. And you have graciously made this about me, so that I don’t have to. [wink]

Legit apologias if any of what’s below the cut seems patronizing. I’ve tried to inject snark to make it an easier read. I also say sh*t, possibly other blah-blah of a potty-mouthed nature. 

Short version:

Status: Word Count: Category: Rating: Character(s): Pairing(s):Warnings: Author’s Note(s):Overall Summary:

Essentially I put what I like to see, with ever-so-slight, atypical tweaks. Long version/breakdown is after the jump. The ones with stars I think should be exactly where I put them, with the others shuffled however you’d prefer.

* Status:

Complete 

Part ___ of ____

for multi-parts (a.k.a., a mini-series) 

IMO, the ones around 2 or 3 parts; for me, it’s treading on “series” territory after 3

I just stick a ____ after “of” til I’m sure about how many parts

In-Progress 

could stick this after “part __ of ___” thought I find that redundant - this is definitely to be used for series, and which part you’re on should’ve already been noted above, a la “Title: Part __”  

* Word Count:  

I just round up the decimal point if it’s close to/over halfway to the next number, so…. 3,422 could be ”3.4K” or “3.5K”, whatever you like

If you put 3,422 it scares the shit out of people, even though that’ll maybe take 15 minutes to read. Maybe.

* Category: 

A.K.A. - what’s the genre?

The top ones you’ll see are “angst”, “fluff”, “smut”, “crack”, “real person fic/RP/RPF” - confusingly, I also see RPF = “role play fic - advise just type out “real person” and “role play”

I also see “series”, which, whatever - I’d prefer knowing that right off the bat at a glance, hence “status”, that’s up to your pref  

I mostly see Category kick off with either that, or something indicating what’s to come in terms of the life expectancy of your story line, followed with the above genres

Others by life expectancy would/could include:

drabble

imagine

request/”ask”

head canon

Side note: “cannon” = big boom, artillery-style; “canon” is short for canonical, a.k.a. - the official last word on fill-in-the-blank, so for us - the scripts/what we see on the show, Kripke, the writers, the actors, etc.

multi-part

one-shot

alternate universe/AU (which could branch into “AU: Historical”, “AU: Fantasy, “AU: Science Fiction”, etc.)

cross-over

Now, if it’s a cross-over that I want to be a surprise? I don’t mention the title of the movie/book/show If it doesn’t matter? Stick it in the Category (so “Crossover: Brooklyn 99″) plus it’ll also be made clear via the Character(s) category by listing them after the SPN peeps & before the O.C.

I personally don’t use those main five (see above, RE: anal-retentive stubborn mule) as they are too vague for my taste. 

When peeps pass my stuff along or in the rare instances they put me on a rec list, I couldn’t care less when they whip me under one of those or tag it as such, because that’s common parlance that I’m willfully eschewing. I sleep just fine on my fanfic pillow at night.

I use words like “behind-the-scenes canon-compliant”, “mystery”, “introspective”, “melancholia”, “friends-maybe-more”, “family”, “canon-compliant”, “friendship”, “adventure”, “humor”, “parody”, “spoof” - all [IMO] give a clearer idea without spoiling the plot

Special Nash Note regarding a specific pet peeve of mine that you can certainly take or leave, I won’t adore you any less:

Regarding Real Person Fic - the authors who disclaimer the tar out of these Wear. Me. Out. Just own it if you’re gonna do it, no caveats. I more-than-snark/borderline ranted about this here - surprisingly succinctly - should you want to see why

Take home: I find being really specific in your category helps keep your warnings/author’s notes blessedly tight & trimmed, more on that below. 

Rating: 

On this, I essentially use what I see around town, which is “Any”, “Teen & Up” and “18+” - or variations on this.

Nine outta ten, I’m going with “Teen & Up”, because I most always have dense, meaty plots or dry humor that require a fairly well-read person - I’m not being an asshole, it’s for their benefit. They’ll find it boring and/or too complex, it’s not their fault, they just haven’t had enough years on the planet to knock out a lot of books, y’know? 

Character(s): 

I list the not-mines first, and shut it down after maybe three or four, then cap it off with O.C. mention(s)

Sometimes I’ll do a parenthetical - like “Castiel (mentioned)” or “Crowley (briefly)” - because some people hate certain characters but love you or love the plot in general, so if they know someone they don’t like is only gonna be there vaguely, they’ll likely still give it a go

If there’s more - the minor not-yours or minor O.C.s - just put “various” at the end & and move on 

Also nice on multi-parters/series for you to only list the characters that appear in that specific post

I phrase the primary O.C.(s) like: “Female O.C./Reader/You”, something of that ilk.

Negates the need for “Reader Insert” in the categorization, because… well, it’s not how books are arranged online or in stores or in libraries. Perspectives [1st/2nd/3rd] are just that - perspectives - they aren’t genres.

Pairing(s): 

N/A if none, of course

This is one I am completely leaving up to you.

Having said that - dig through other folks’, see what tickles your fancy.

If you dig through mine - I think one I straight up said “Sam x Reader/Female O.C.” because it was an Ask, so the end result was pretty much out there, and on another I put something cheeky like “Endings are better when you don’t know what’s coming.”

And really, aren’t they?  Lookit, I figure if back on your Master Page/Master Post, you’re gonna end up categorizing them by “Angst” with sub-cats a la “Dean x Reader”, etc., may as well blow your wad from the get-go. 

Also remember this is coming from someone who keeps their O.C.s as vague as possible, so that anyone can imagine themselves in the character’s shoes. That’s for reader satisfaction. 

The selfish reason is because I want “Y/N” to die in a horrific fire where it is alive for >65% of the charring. It is so distracting. I’ve now digressed, tangent-style.

Warnings: 

Writing detailed canon? Or an AU that’s cribbing on canon? Whip a little “Spoilers up to Season _″ or what-have-you right out of the gate. 

Otherwise…. okay, biggest over-arching tip:

Things either ARE or they ARE NOT - refrain from going down a huge explanatory road here, a la “Could be considered this, but also could be looked at as that, and there’s sometimes….”

Oh. Sweet. Lord. Bring the chariots & take me now.

There’s a word for this, and it is “dubious”.  

So: “dubious non-consensual situation(s)”; “dubious incestual situation(s)”; etc. 

It’s the formal way of saying “YMMV”, a.k.a. “Your Mileage May Vary”.  I am likely not going to read into the threat of fill-in-the-blank if I’ve not experienced fill-in-the-blank. That’s why it is an “in the eye of the beholder” sort of jam - it’s open to interpretation….

…..but you gotta make sure it is - if Dean and Sam kiss each other with tongue, even once? That is incest. Not dubious. Nope. 

If there’s stuff possibly of concern that you’re not balls-out detailing, the tidy word for that is “allusion”. 

So: “allusion to past sexual trauma”; “allusion to past physical assault”; “allusion to sexual encounters”,etc.

On that last one: again, meaning off-handed comments about rolls-in-the-hay, not anything specific with vivid detailing.

Might want to tack “eventual” in front of these in certain circumstances - more on that in a sec. 

(PS: Writing tip? Shit in the past that made the characters who they are? Leave it there. Allude to it. Unless it is actually happening, no one caaaaaares - we only care about any ripple effects potentially impacting the current story.)

Language - again, things either ARE or they ARE NOT. 

I don’t care if it’s twice or every-other-piece-of-dialogue, or only in a couple of chapters - “mature language” or “coarse language”. Boom. You’re done. Covers cursing and dirty talk and the lot.

Sexy Times - yeah, it may say “smut” under your category/genre, but it doesn’t hurt to toss a clarification or two  

Some folks consider smut “he touched me here” and some folks don’t consider it smut til “he ran his tongue here”. 

I’d go with “graphic sex” or “explicit sex” if you have any wavering on the issue of what to put. But, again: it either is, or it isn’t - if it’s not allusion, then it’s graphic/explicit

Some folks tack on really, really, really specific facets here, where I think a parenthetical would do, and one that covers a gamut, so:

Graphic Sex (anal) this covers digital penetration & toys

Graphic Sex (multiple partners) this covers three-ways and four-ways and… and…. and….

Graphic Sex (kinks) this covers role-playing and toys and voyeurism and… and… and…

Side note: I have noticed that dog-in-heat genre - A/B/O, right? - is listed separately from kinks. Not my jam, so ya got me, I ain’t your gal to consult on this area

I’m not going on - you catch my drift. People who list every type of toy and kink baffle me. Cover the spread, move on, you can always put an asterisk and stick it below the “read more” to be as specific as you like. 

I say this because if a person’s not into “toys” in general? Why on earth would they read on after that warning above.  Also plays into my whole “stories are often better when you don’t know the end” stance. Because they are, dagnabbit. 

Some folks tack on “unprotected sex”, and fine, okay. Would suggest that if you want to add on some sort of advisement of “don’t do that”, “glove up”, “be safe” and what not, you whip an asterisk on there - “unprotected sex*” - and stick it in an Author’s Note post-story, more on those in a sec.

Violence - go with “graphic violence” and “mild-to-moderate violence”

The latter implies TV-level gore/horror, and the former implies movie/cable TV-level. 

If you want, you could quantify it that way - like “show-level violence” or “movie-level violence” (if doing Avengers or Star Trek or whatnot)

Side note: if you’re going for no-holds-barred, Ash Vs. Evil Dead-level action?  Go on & stick “horror” in your category/genre, methinks

Character Death / Major Character Death  

I have never understood this as a warning, seek advisement from someone else on this point. Legit.

That is a major plot point. Why in this world people would want to spoil themselves on major plot points is beyond me. 

Besides, can we stop treating readers like infants? You’ve given an age range/rating. You’ve said there’s violence. You’ve categorized it as angst (or “sorrow” or “mourning” or WHATEVER) and that paints the picture for me, an over-18 adult, one who has heeded the violence and sorrow alerts and has chosen to proceed. YMMV. Nash don’t get it. I’ve gone all tangent-y again. 

Warnings, Part Two - Stories With Two Or More Parts:

So let’s say there’s a kidnap-and-ransom that involves the villain making a threat of raping the captive. But it happens in Chapter Five. 

That “allusion to non-consensual situation” is, of course, told to the reader up front, and here’s the times when you may wanna tack “eventual” on it. 

Then have an “Additional Warnings” or “Chapter Warnings” section on just this chapter post. They chose to read the thing after seeing that broad warning, I know, but it’s still nice to warn them so they aren’t reading it on lunch break at the office or something.

Side note: when doing multi-parters/series, just copy/paste all this stuff on top of each post, then tuck this “extra” note below the overall warning items

Author’s Note(s):   

N/A 

Use this liberally. There should not be a ton to say after you’ve done all that’s above.

The exception here - as in, a “regular appearance” kind of Author’s Note since it doesn’t really fit anywhere else, is an acknowledgment of any editor(s) who may have assisted.

Another to file under “common parlance” - they are called “Beta(s)”/”Beta Reader(s)” around here, even though technically a beta would be someone who’d be your first reader of the final product, post-edit, and pre-publish. [shrugs]

Advise you not wax poetic on their awesomeness - takes up too much space - do your gushing privately, no one cares about your excited feels for that person [sorry-not-sorry] 

Plus it’s kind’ve bizarre - for me, at least - to see effusive praise heaped upon an editor should I read on and find myriad mistakes I’d naturally assume they missed, which brings me to an example of another unneeded note….

…the one post-beta acknowledgment that goes “…so any mistakes below are all mine”.  ????  What, so you had ‘em do all that for you, followed by ignoring the errors they pointed out? Error’s an error. I suspect they mean not altering verbiage or flow or a suggestion of that ilk, but still. Just acknowledge them by their “@” and move on. I digressed.

Regarding challenges - and this is a “Nash Thing” - I advise you don’t put the challenge info here, above the story. 

All it does it lengthen your top note and keep people from the story once they’ve decided to read. I actually went back & re-formatted for this on a lot of my stuff because it made the top part way too long. 

I suggest you put “Author’s Note(s):Post-Story” and lay it out there - the challenge name, whose challenge it is and the prompt. Why?

If you tell readers the prompt - and another “Nash Thing” is that I don’t bold mine - they will subconsciously be on the lookout for it, which takes away the point of the challenge - to seamlessly integrate a random thing

Other “post-story” can be any inspiration you may’ve used - like songs or the details on a cross-over piece. 

For cross-overs, this is a nice place to do a little “Various characters/settings used, verbiage style and minor plot points inspired by Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. 

Plus, you can put links to vid clips or pics of the cast or links to the song or c&p lyrics of the song - whatever. Point is, it doesn’t take up story space so readers can pass it by if they so choose

* Overall Summary: 

My preference is that this is the last thing I see before I start the story, because I’ve seen all the details above, I’m almost sold, and this is what’s going to get me to scroll. Well, initially. First-scroll page-closers are another topic. 

“idk, i’m not good at these/i suck at these/omg these are so hard/i can’t really say”   –  No, no, no, you said plenty. You just told me you write garbage & that I shouldn’t waste my time.

Sometimes these will be a handful of sentences, and I’ve found that when I’m being cheeky on a parody/humorous story, that’s when they tend to be longer - mainly because I’m really trying to drive home that this is not merely “fluff” or “crack”. It’s what I said it was in “Category” - it’s “humor” and/or “parody”. 

Normally: one-to-two short-ish sentences or three quick sentences. 

No really. 

No, really. I don’t care how long the story is. 

Now, the novel-length ones? Maaaaybe a quickie paragraph of, say,4-to-5 brief - BRIEF - sentences for the umbrella. Then - like we were talking about with the chapter specific warnings? - you can delete the “overall” summary or tack on underneath a sentence about the chapter below IF something pertinent should be noted/you’d want to know it if you were the reader.

Am I an asshole if I put examples of mine? Eh. Here you go, and I stuck an example of an atypical A/N below, as well as what my longest looks like. The Mobile Master has pretty much the same descriptors as the story post itself, but none of the rest of this stuff - if the summation grabs ‘em, then they’ll click through for more of the scoop.

A Delicate Desiccation - they’re told about melancholy, but my stories had been out for awhile, so I *did* pop an atypical A/N (because it wasn’t really a warning, per se) on there to tell the regulars that this was a darker piece than they’d be used to; if I told more than I did in that summary - and shit, I give a big ass breadcrumb via the title card, not to mention the wording of the summary - it would wreck the ending.

Top of the World - novel-length, and readers get blips of a summary for each chapter (at least, on AO3, as FFnet doesn’t allow for it). The chapters average 10K. I did not come to play. It’s structured to read like you’re watching a season of behind-the-scenes-canon SPN, I’ve been clear I’m doing it in tandem with the active season(s), so I’m not gonna warn them “SPOILERS!” every chapter. I’m tired. I’m old. My fingers hurt, Spooks. My keyboard’s angry with me.  

Hope this helps! Or at least didn’t give you a headache. You’re ahead of the game already, just by asking the question. I think you rock. And I’m always right about knowing these sorts of things about people.

So sayeth the Nash, so say we all.