#plus i can't be too mad because well. i mean i got to. like. yeah you know. i. uh. yeah. let's just say i'm a real lucky guy.

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

did they really put a thing over his dick as part of the harness now. homophobic if true. you're really going to restrain the bulge like that?

[angelicdanvers]

BREATHE DEEPER | five.

a charlie bushnell x fem!reader social media fic.

levizmiller

liked by y/n, dior.n.goodjohn, leahsavajeffries, and others

levizmiller — she won at pool. again.

tagged | y/n

y/n hey at least we got drinks ↳ levizmiller true ↳ walker.scobell YOU CAN DRINK??? ↳ y/n technically yes BUT i settle for virgins

dior.n.goodjohn best duo loading?! ↳ levizmiller YES

user i lowk shipp ↳ user2 nah they prob friends ↳ user3 ay no need to speculate 😭

y/n

liked by levizmiller, dior.n.goodjohn, walker.scobell, and others

y/n — prep for the jumpscare at the end

tagged | levizmiller

levizmiller 😭

walker.scobell i wanna be your age ↳ y/n in like five years buddy

walker.scobell also levizmiller your physique is ELITE ↳ levizmiller thank you walker :)

leahsavajeffries YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL ↳ y/n that’s our goal >:)

iamcharliebushnell hope ur having fun! ↳ y/n thanks!

dior.n.goodjohn YOURE SO HOT ↳ y/n BABES YOU ALL YOU

user2 not charlie becoming less and less consistent ↳ user4 fr man this is sad

GALILEO’S GALS

forbidden child added cutie patootie

↳ HI ARYAN OKAY SO UH I NEED YALLS HELP i think you guys were right

cutie patootie aw what’s wrong?

chanel’s enemy uh oh

↳ yeaaah so is charlie mad at me??? for hanging out with levi?

lee lee he shouldn’t be, he doesn’t have a reason to because even tho all of us are close it’s still your life yk

chanel’s enemy i second that, and if he does that also means SOMETHING if yk what i mean

dr dre im not even gonna sugarcoat, his comment seems so passive 😭

↳ welp i’ve screwed up big time 😃

cutie patootie i mean he’s okay around walker and i. he did keep talking about you at one point last night when we were watching moon knight literally made us pause the ep and just spoke of you

chanel’s enemy BRO UR GONNA HAVE TO SAY MORE ELSE WE’LL JUST ASSUME HE’S GOT A CRUSH ON HER

cutie patootie idk bro it just seemed to me that he missed her a lot. he kept saying how he wanted to take her to egypt esp a restaurant by the pyramids considering y/n still hasn’t been and other places

chanel’s enemy ong he deffo should if he likes her, he should actually ask her out before anyone else does take her to a nice lil restaurant, get her flowers, whatnot

cutie patootie yeah fr

↳ yall pls tell me youre not speculating he likes me

dr dre omfg Y/N ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO ANY OF THESE DETAILS

↳ yes but im choosing to ignore them for the sake of my sanity

lee lee GIRL HE PROBABLY LIKES YOU IF IT ISNT THAT, THEN ITS BECAUSE WALKER SAID LEVI’S PHYSIQUE WAS GREAT AND HE ONLY EVER USED TO SAY THAT TO CHARLIE

↳ YEAH BUT CHARLIE’S MATURE

dr dre is he tho guys do dumb shit when they like a girl

↳ he doesnt like me 😭

cutie patootie ANYWAYS i'd keep my eyes and ears open if i were you, y/n, you definitely didn’t screw up but if you're worried abt charlie maybe just be a tad bit more careful?

↳ gotcha, no more levi posts then?

chanel’s enemy i mean ofc you can post him, it shouldn't be anyone's business as to who you're posting, but idk it's so hard to explain like don't get me wrong i think you should post whomever you wish but hopefully it won't hurt anyone. i mean you're not with anyone controversial so it shouldn't be a big deal anyways, plus if someone cough charlie cough can't fess up their feelings it's on THEM not YOU

↳ i definitely get that, thank you for the insight you guys :) it’s just tough because i really don’t know how i feel either

chanel’s enemy WAIT WHAT i did NOT expect that response

↳ i can't help it idk my emotions are all over the place right now

chanel’s enemy GIRL YOURE NOT A BOP STOP ACTING LIKE ONE

↳ RIGHT SORRY 💀 K PLEASE HELP THO

cutie patootie okok miss y/n do you, or do you not, have a crush on levi?

↳ i do not

chanel’s enemy okok MISS y/n l/n would you rather be MRS. y/n bushnell?

↳ DIOR WTF MAN

dr dre well THAT got a reaction out of her

↳ ugh but he's cute and he’s so sweet and he’s so charming too he texts me every morning no matter what timezone i’m in and he gave my mom flowers when he first met her too he’s so smart, both emotionally and intellectually like doing math with him is just >>>>

lee lee girl. GIRL.

chanel’s enemy LMFAOOO MATH 💀 she down bad BAD

dr dre you see there’s a river in egypt…

cutie patootie AND YOU STILL THINK THIS IS PLATONIC??

↳ OKAY OKAY fuck i like charlie don’t i

chanel’s enemy OH YOU DO YOU DEFINITELY DO

cutie patootie YOU LITERALLY WORRY ABOUT HOW HE FEELS ABOUT YOU ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU HANG OUT WITH YOU'RE DOWN BAD N/N

↳ aw shit man WHAT DO I DO

chanel's enemy MAKE A SUBTLE MOVE ASAP

lee lee HANG OUT WITH HIM SOON

dr dre MAKE A SHORT FILM

cutie patootie YES THATS PERFECT

↳ guys this is too hard i dont like this

chanel's enemy STFU YOU WILL DO THIS WE ARE HERE BAE 💪

↳ OKOK LOVE YOU GUYS LEMME TRY THIS OUT

— taglist.

@shokocoded @istillremeberthefirstfallofsnow @surftrips @svtsimp22 @thames-fig @captainshischier @reggieslifeboat @multifandom-loser @wheelerslover @mermaid-mqtel @randomnpc456 @kaithoughs @isab3lita @mariposa555 @sunshinessky @myr-cheri @thedeadlynights @ella33 @c1nn4mng1rl @poppysrin @breadbrobin @lucy-the-ant @jules-loves-lukecastellan @taloulalila @tom-pls-fuck-me @mia-luvs @iknowyoureabigfan @rinisfruity14 @chasebeth @auttumnsayshi @prettygirlformula @alwayswndr @balletfilmss @kestisvrse @1forthemoney2forthekish @eissaaaa @emelia07 @toffytaste @soulaires @bearwon @happy-mushrooms @simrah1012 @blimp-blimp @obxstiles @yuminako @hopexcroc @mackycat11 @knowugetdejavu @0puddleofgender0 @callsignwidow @i-heart-emos @eddiesdrummergf @suckerforblondies @homebyeleven @bookworm-center @kawliflo @https-evan2 @ihrtzku @strawberryapplesauce13 @captainshischier @vbbaby-girl @honeysmoonn @itssmandiee @kinderwh0r3 @willsdills @americanbluebirdrb @bokutos-biddys @ln4author @lqclercs @czennieszn @laveens-pearl @inlovewithcarsthatrunreallyfast @aerangi @taygrls @ilamara @hanjiiberry

hi my loves! i am so so sorry for disappearing for a bit, school was getting horrible during the second semester and i found very little motivation. i rested all of july and i am hoping to update this series, along with posting a luke one i've written for the past few months, throughout this month! i think i've mostly tagged all the people that requested to be a part of the taglist, forgive me if i missed you or tagged you twice.

how are you guys doing?

please stay safe and drink water, i'm proud of you <333

[horanghaeluvsinniehae]

SKZ!BFF DRUNKLY CONFESSING PT.2 pt.1

||BANG CHAN||LEE MINHO||SEO CHANGBIN||HWANG HYUNJIN||HAN JISUNG||LEE FELIX||KIM SEUNGMIN||YANG JEONGIN||

You rushed to get off the bus and quickly walk home. You didn’t want to make him wait and you wanted to know if he really meant it all…

You arrived at your apartment and quickly put away your stuff and changed out of your clothes into some more comfortable ones.

You texted Bin that he can call you now and he didn’t waste a second, so you tapped the green button as soon as it popped up.

“Hi y/n!” You could hear how nervous he was.

“Hi Binnie!” You greeted him sweetly to let him know that everything’s gonna be okay.

“Y/nah before you say anything i want to say that i'm incredibly sorry for how i acted and it was very stupid of me and i hope you're not mad at me and we can stay friends…” His voice was full of regret and even if it was through the phone, you could hear how sincere he was.

“Oh Binnie, there’s nothing to be sorry about because I really like you too and I miss you a lot actually…but even if this wasn’t the confession you had in mind i don't mind that it happened like this over text. I’m just glad that you like me and that I don’t have to pretend like I'm not head over heels for you anymore.” You chuckled a bit and smiled to yourself.

However the other end was completely silent…there was an awkward silence and you started to think that Changbin didn’t mean what he wrote last night, but then his loud booming voice scared you.

“WOOOO Y/NAH I'M SO HAPPY YOU CAN'T IMAGINE OH MY GOSH! I HAD TO MUTE THE PHONES SO YOUR EARS WON'T BLEED BECAUSE OF MY CHEERING!” You heard and this instantly made you smile so big it hurt your cheeks.

“Will you be mine please?” He said in a signature cute changbin voice. You could basically see him infront of you.

“Of course I’ll be Changbinah!! Gosh I can't wait for you to get home!” You said and your brain already started creating the scenarios and you already felt like you’re going to explode if you don’t see him soon.

“Seriously thank you Y/nah im so so happy that you like me too!”

“Believe me Binnie i'm just as much happy to be with you!” You told him honestly.

“I have to go to rehearsal, love, but I’ll text you after yeah? You’ll probably be asleep so it’s okay if you won’t answer.” Binnie said with a bit of a sad tone but he was still so so happy.

“It’s alright Bin you’re an idol after all!” You tried to let him know that it’s totally understandable.

“Okay lovely sleep well please and thank you again!” He said and made kissing noises. You chuckled at his antics.

“And you have a good rehearsal Binnie! Bye bye talk to you later!” You made the kissing noises too and got very flustered. You were glad he couldn’t see your face right now.

“Bye byee” he said and hung up the phone.

After you just realised that you’re now dating THE Seo Changbin plus he called you love and lovely(!!) you screamed into the pillow next to you and you were just so unbelievably happy.

Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed this one too!! And if you have any suggestions/questions/requests feel free to tell me!<3

[travelling-wanderer]

・﹒・ but you have history

Summary: You were preparing your stall in the market as a florist when all the flowers suddenly disappeared from your home. A group arrived to help you find the culprit and you were forever gateful. But after getting stuck with the rabbit named Jax in a cage, he reveals something to you that shatters your world.

Warnings: 15+, existentialism, soft Jax

Pairing: Jax x NPC!reader

Notes: Sorry I like making Jax vulnerable. Also I never beta read have fun.

You angrily stared at the purple rabbit that got you into the current situation now- stuck in a cage, and with him nonetheless. How did you end up here? Well, after your flowers were stolen, a group of people arrived and promised they would get them back. After finding the culprit, you all chased them down. However, the thief put a trap down which led you and the rabbit to stepping on said trap and being lifted high in the air in a metal cage.

"You happy?" You snarked at the equally as upset rabbit. You were bad with names so you forgot his, but didn't care enough to ask for it again. Plus, he was rude to you first, so it was fair.

"Oh yeah, sure I'm happy. Of course I'm not happy! Ya know- if it wasn't for you running ahead we wouldn't be in this situation right now!" You couldn't believe his rudeness!

"Oh I'm the issue? How? What on Earth did I even do? Try and get my flowers back?" You both were basically screaming now, both angry at each other and the fact that you were both stuck in a cage.

"Oh please! I can't believe I'm arguing with a friggin' NPC..." N...pc? What did he just call you? The rabbit rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around his knees, pulling them up to rest his head on his forearms as he stared out

"What does NPC mean? If it was an insult that was a weird one I've never heard of before"

"You're fake, this whole world is fake, NPC means non-playable character" That made you still. Fake? Everything is fake? Lips wobbling, you shakily scooted over to him and grabbed him by his overalls and shook him. He had to be messing with you, there was no way your world was fake, no way.

"What you mean fake?' You yelled in anger, was he playing some kind of joke? Was he just trying to make you even more mad? He just let you shake him until he had enough and pulled away, pushing you slightly to gain some distance in the small space.

"Your life is all made up by zeroes and ones, computer code. You're not a real person, none of this is! Do you remember your mother? Your father? Anyone that doesn't exist in this village? Your first friend?" All his questions made you ready to argue back when it dawned on you that you didn't remember any of that. You couldn't even remember your parents' names, or faces, why couldn't you? Leaning back, you tried so hard to remember everything he asked you, yet, you couldn't answer a single one. Putting your hands over your head, you shrieked as he was right- everything was a lie. Tears quickly formed and you sobbed.

"So I'm not even real? Nothing is real?" You were breathing so heavily as the realization crashed onto you. But you just visited your mom last week! ....right? Oh no, what was happening? No, no, no, this can't be your life, you're real, you're real!

"Oh would you shut up?" You temporarily paused and looked up at him, gosh he was horrible. You slapped him in the arm, causing him to yelp and rub the area as he scowled at you.

"Oh, me shut up? Why does it matter? I'm fake right? So what does that make you? Aren't you fake too?" You were still sniffling as he sighed and rubbed his head.

"Because I've been trapped in this friggin' simulation for who knows how long. I was originally a human in the real world. This?" He then motions with his hand, waving around. "Is inside all a computer" You still felt on edge considering your whole life was a lie, but started to calm down.

"You mentioned this thing- computer- twice now. What is that?"

"Well, its a thing where you can have it do anything" You stared at him with your eyes wide, is that possible?

"Anything?" You whispered, in awe at what he said. Can it actually do anything? Well, considering it's possible of creating fake realities- then yeah, but that still just seemed impossible.

"Yep! Including your world. The AI that controls it makes these worlds to keep us busy. Its stupid" The rabbit wasn't looking at you now, he was staring outside the bars into what you now understood wasn't real, especially to him.

"Why busy? What happens if you're not busy?" The question caused his face to change, he looked almost...sad.

"Well, when we aren't kept busy and aren't kept sane uh...something called "abstraction" happens where we lose ourselves and become huge glitchy monsters. It's uh...not pretty" He looked so hurt as he curled in on himself, pained, like he wanted to cry. Slowly raising your hand, you rubbed it slowly against his back and couldn't help but feel like you wanted to comfort him. You may not have been real- but that didn't mean what you're experiencing right now isn't and couldn't help him.

"At least you don't have to worry about that stuff, you don't have to worry about your friends dying because they couldn't take it...haha. I mean, of course you'd go insane after being stuck in a world that isn't yours in a body that isn't yours and life is meaningless hahah" You knew he was hurting from his situation and still wasn't the kindest, but you still felt like you could make something out of this life, whatever it may be.

"But at least you have history, you have real memories. I...I don't. I learned that I only exist for you guys, ha...so what after this I'm just going to cease to exist? Is that it?" You decided to accept your fate- you weren't going to live anymore after this, you were going to die.

"That's the thing, NPC- every unlucky winner loses everything from the real world. Every single memory. It's so stupid!" He hit the bars, causing the cage to shake as you try and stable yourself from his anger. That made you feel sad as his anger was justified, but the excuse that your life was better because you were ignorant to your true nature.

"That's why my name is Jax. I couldn't remember it when I came here and everyone else doesn't even remember their friggin' name either. I mean, how cruel can life be?"

"Well, isn't it as equally cruel knowing that you're entire life was fake and made for someone else's entertainment without having any real memories of the past?" You didn't want to argue or fight back with him, but you had to funnel your anger out too while also proving his point right.

"I guess you're right"

[vitzi9]

Pretty gifts

Joker X GN!Reader

TW/CW: reader is androgynous, murders, talking about kys, work in catering (it needs its own warning), reader curses a lot, mention of vomit, stalker, reader throws up, racism, Gotham is hell and fuck capitalism, blood, violence

tbh i'm a little sad bc nobody ever give their opinion on my works. I put another divider (like the red heart below) in the middle of the story, not really to separate as it's following directly but bc some people find my stories too long so it's like a checkpoint. So when you leave, you know where you were. (It's really long)

also the end is a little weird bc I have no idea if this fandom is still alive so, yeah :) if people are reading, I might continue it. Thing is some ppl find this Joker ugly so...

I hope you'll enjoy this. (19/02/2024) (17k)

You weren't weird by any mean, okay ? Life in Gotham is just really hard. You got harassed, robbed and assaulted more times than you can count. And each time by a new profile type ! Old, young or teen, it doesn't matter, everyone is desperate.

Some of your colleagues at work are prostituting themselves and you for sure considerate selling feet pictures.

That's how life is in Gotham.

But weird ? You stare at the angry man before you, unimpressed. You can't believe he called you weird as well as an incestuous result. You're neither of these. Fuck, how is weird and incestuous his first thought when insulting someone ? Like, he could've called you a fucker, a bitch... Anything !

Your aggressor, if you can even call him that after this, shows you his middle finger while walking background. Quickly though, he loses his balance and fall on the ground. Well, at least he didn't beat you up !

You already got assaulted for your money, which you don't even have, you got two jobs and barely reach the minimal wage. But at the end of the day they, well, stole the few you have, you know ? When you think about it, he strongly smelled like alcohol. That's probably why he failed his attempt.

Even stealing is death here. You never know who you're facing. Hell, just yesterday a guy was killed because he tried to assault some big chief of a mob. Someone with a clown face. TV says the man's limbs were still not all found.

Shit, getting killed by a clown must be mad humiliating too.

You sigh, trying to ease your tired traits by passing your hand on your face. At least the day is over, right ? Another day closer to death. You drag your suddenly much more heavier body on some few meters/yards more, silently praying that no one else will bother you.

Thankfully, your cries were heard. Pushing the old creaking door of the building, you rush to the mailbox. Never have you been comfortable staying long here. The door is only behind you and you don't know if someone is able to enter with bad intention.

Speaking of the devil...

No mail except for this weird card yet again. It's cardboard displaying a drawing of a joker, withdrawn from a poker package. It's certainly not the first time someone pull this kind of joke on you. Though, you have no idea who this is and it creeps you out a little. You turn the card to see if a message was left and sadly, (or not) you were right.

You've been trying to understand who this was for a long time now but in a big city like yours, with god knows who or what ? It's just impossible.

As always, you hate to think this because you don't want this creepy card to become part of your habit, a messy handwriting greets you in black ink.

"I'm everywhere in this city, no one can touch me yet some are fond of me."

You stopped school kind of early so your IQ is probably not high enough for you to understand that. Plus, you don't fucking want to.

You grab the card with you in order to throw it once at home and rush to the stairs (some says someone got killed in the elevator plus it's not working since months so you're not taking it anymore). Finally home. Your hallway still smells like piss and a deadly cold reign here (Nobody knows why). Two of the four bulb of the ceiling has burnt out and a faint static noise is resonating in the whole property.

This building is not even in a neighborhood that bad. But in Gotham, not that bad is still bad. Because bad is sleeping to the sound of gunshot and broken windows. While here, there's still these but not as often as in bad neighborhood. But you can add the moans hearable in the night in it as well.

Your building is really old though, which explains (partially) the bad state it's in.

Taking out the key off your pocket, you start to unlock the door. Unconsciously, your mind goes back to the card of the day. "I'm everywhere"... What's everywhere? There's air. But they specified 'in this city' so air might be too simple.

No one can touch me yet some are fond of me.

You can't touch air and you're not sure people are fond of it particularly. Like, air's fine. It's cool as fuck but are you fond of it ? No. Then what is it ?

You didn't even realize you were looking at the card again, your door wide open while standing in the middle of the hallway ridiculously. Slapping yourself mentally for being so careless, you enter and close the door and all your locks shut.

Some are fond of me, huh ?

In Gotham, what are people even fond of ? Misfortune you'd say. These fuckers love to see others suffer and even make sure they do by engaging in others people life.

But you don't know if that's really the answer. Damn, can't they just give you simple question? Or even better: stop giving you any ?

You drop your bag on the floor, slouching your shoulders and throwing yourself on the couch. Fuck, you hate your life. Why are you even here? You don't deserve this life. Nobody does !

Haphazardly moving your hand, you end up successfully grabbing the remote. You need to empty your mind, or have a background noise at least.

The screen lights up displaying you the newest information girl. The last man disappeared after he made the mistake of letting show his politic side. It's obvious everyone is corrupted here but the mystery in this story is ; who erased him ? It could be mob, politics themselves, everyone.

This city is lost.

The woman is talking about the incessant inflation and how numerous factories and business saw themselves forced to close for good. You just hope your business won't shut down, you need money. What if it does close, though ? You were already sweating trying to live with two jobs, but what if you end up jobless ?

It'll be impossible for you to pay anything. To keep your apartment. To eat. What are you supposed to do if this happens ? You already thought about that and all of your long reflection session always end up on one conclusion: kill yourself.

Because there's no way you're living without job in Gotham while being in the streets. You would have left the city if you had money or even family out there but it's not the case. So yeah, killing yourself that is.

Sure it looks a little extreme but isn't earth overpopulated anyway ?

It's better than being killed. At least, you choose your death ! But you're gonna hope this still won't happen. Up to now, your job is yours so taking such drastic measures won't be necessary. And you hope it'll stay this way.

Damn, you're depressed again. You drown out your worries by hiding your face in your couch's pillow. Man, what capitalism is doing to one.

You switch the channel without looking where your fingers pressed, this time a man is talking. He's saying something about a criminal and quoting every one of his crime. It was going crescendo, at first robbery, assault and burglary but just next to all of that was terrorism and mass murder.

You want to turn your head and watch the profile of this man but are too weak to move. So you simply listen closely to the man voice to get answers.

"Yes, he's a dangerous criminal and he's in town. He already break free from Arkham asylum twice now. If one of you see this man; do not engage, hide and call the police immediately. He is incredibly unstable and may not be alone. If you think you can win against him, you're wrong. He's a manipulative man and a mastermind. If you're seen by him, you better start to pray. Ends the man on a serious tone. Man, this guy knows how to reassure people...

-Indeed, a true monster. But please do not scare our audience. Batman was able to capture him twice, we'll be fine. The man chuckles but does not sound really honest. To answer all the questions you've been a lot to send us, we'll have the pleasure of meeting mister Harvey Dent here, chief of the police department to answer your worries. Harvey Dent ?"

And the voice switched to the other man. You like Harvey Dent. You like to think he's the only man in Gotham who's not corrupted. He's helping the citizens. Unlike that Wayne man. This guy could single-handedly resolve the poverty problem, but does he do it ? Of course not. He's rich after all, why should he care for bum like you ?

Harvey Dent is talking but you're not listening. All you know is that he's trying to ease the population. The men on TV are always saying the same things: empty promises. How the police is already taking care of the problem, that it'll be better soon. Like the police isn't already too fucking busy harassing the wrong people.

Harvey Dent is your last hope. The only man who can change things.

You deeply hope his promises aren't as empty as the other man before him. You turn off the TV and relax in the silence of your flat for a moment, breathing in the perfume impregnated in your couch.

There's screams outside. You can't tell if it's the neighbors or someone outside. Either way, you stand up feeling your eyelids getting heavier by each passing second.

But before leaving to your room, you stop in front of your window and stare outside for a moment. It's nighttime now. The city won't go to sleep, oh no, it's just waking up. The police can already be heard in the distance with its loud sirens. This city really is chaotic. It's just everywhere, you can't escape it. Touching it isn't even possible, you can't grasp it, nor resolve it completely; it's in the air. You can't fight against it. Nobody fights against it.

Fuck, it's like they're fond of it, here.

Chaos, it's scary when you think about it. Because you can't guess what's going to happen. There was a time when you thought that anarchists could be right but if anarchy looks like this, you don't want it anymore. You just want some peace and respect. But it seems too much to ask for Gotham.

You fucking hate chaos.

The next morning, your limbs were so sore you almost didn't make it on time to work. Your boss reprimanded you about your delay, pressuring you by recalling you the time one of your colleagues got fired for it. You were only late of something like one or two minutes but it didn't matter to him.

He only wanted to feel superior. He didn't even need real reasons to yell at you.

The restaurant wasn't packed. Only the usual rich families wanting to spend a pleasant day. They were here to eat breakfast. You try not to think too much about the fact that one single of their jewelry is equal to your salary.

The streets were alive; people running, cars honking. Your colleague hitting your shoulder to bring you back to earth, everything is normal.

"You think you can ask Mike to make another one ? she asks you with a sweet voice. The kid threw a tantrum. It's not salted enough and he hates sausages.

You lift up your eyes towards the crying kid in the back. Cold eyes stuck to his face. You're sure he specifically asked for sausage. You're the one who wrote down his order. And the salt ? Can't he just fucking put some himself?

-Don't question it. They're regulars. Plus, I don't think having beef with a kid is good for our reputation." Tells you your friend after seeing the death look you were giving him.

So you take the plate that looked absolutely perfect and delectable to bring it to Mike. Mike is an old man once passionate about cooking. Now he's forty three and stuck cooking eggs and toast to some crying kids.

"No fucking sausage and more salt please. you say, throwing the plate on the counter in a loud clatter. The man laughs at your anger and don't even need to ask to understand. 'Got it boss !' is your answer.

You lay your weight on the counter, back meeting the freezing temperature of it. Different smells invade your senses; fresh bread, warm oil and eggs. Well, lot of different smells were here as well but they're the one that really stuck out to you.

"You were late this morning right ? Did the client touched their plate ? You can eat it otherwise, it looks fine.

-Because it is, it was made by the best cook of Gotham after all.

The man laughs, mimicking someone blushing by putting his hands on his cheeks. He tells you that you're lying and that you're saying that to flatter him only. Mike had buzzed his hair a few months ago but they were back already; small rough curls mocking him.

You sigh and look back at the plate, it did look really fine. The kid hadn't even touched it ! The eggs and the bread were intact, left in the same state it was neatly put in earlier.

You spend your sweet time talking with Mike before your boss comes in infuriated, ordering you to come back at the front. And you're forced to do so. Grabbing a water jug on your way and putting on a fake smile, you walk towards a new family sitting so straight your back hurts just looking at them.

All of them laid down their menu and are waiting. You arrive, apologizing for the wait. 'Have you decided ?' you ask while putting the water on the table. The man takes the menu and start listing his orders without a smile nor even a look in your direction. The woman is busy keeping her children calm and asking them to calm down. The other tables are side-eyeing her while the husband doesn't even acknowledge his wife.

"Noted, you smile and turn your head to stare at the woman for her to start ordering.

She smiles awkwardly, and tells you her kids orders before ordering for herself. You thank them, "I'll be right back." and you leave to the kitchen. You sigh, scotch the orders on the wall, grabs the plate left for you to take and head back to the crying kid from earlier. The demon who ordered fucking sausage before saying he hated them.

But as soon as you place the plate before him with a smile, the kid slams his fists on the table resulting in his glass of water to splash on you and break on the floor. The mother gasps while the dad gives a slap in his son's head without even you registering the whole situation. Your clothes are completely soaked, you want to say something but his mother is sending daggers at you with her eyes and you know not to mess with this stupid fucking family.

Did he did it on purpose ? Yes. Are you gonna say something ? No.

"It's okay, I love children." you don't.

And you leave. Deeply humiliated. But you can't do anything. Because you're no one compared to them, they're gonna win. Always. Your friend asks if you're okay, you shrug. She's unable to question you further as she has to continue working. You head to the back in search of a broom.

The small closet is all the way behind the kitchen and you're already tired just thinking about it. Once you're in, you frenetically search for your item only for a shelf to fall apart behind you and destroy itself on the ground. You bite your lower lip with all your strength to retain you from crying and cursing the whole world.

It's okay, it's just a shelf. It's okay, you try to think but it's hard when it's not even noon and too much shit already happened to you.

You crouch down and start gathering everything you can when your eyes falls upon another one of these poker card. You frown and take it in your hands, examining it deeply. Uh, wow, okay. It's a little weird. You just happen to receive these daily in your mailbox and suddenly there's one here. Okay, totally normal.

You stand up, looking around you for an answer, trying to see if a camera is here somewhere. But nothing. So you turn the card to read the new message: You need one to live, I often rip it apart and yours is mine to steal. A heart ? you immediately think. You definitely need one to live and the sentence 'steal your heart' is kinda famous. But rip it apart ? Is it, like, a metaphor ? Glancing back quickly, you notice a small note left in the bottom right corner of the card. It reads: what a shitty shelf.

You laugh nervously, your breath getting stuck in your throat. What the actual fuck ? it's not even funny, what the hell ? Sorry for the fucking shelf ? They knew this was going to happen ? You definitely have to talk to someone.

You pass your hand on your face, rubbing it strongly as if to wake you up from a bad dream. Then you take the broom and head back.

Rushing to the kitchen, you accidentally pushes someone in your haste. You see Mike from afar and don't even need to approach him that you yell your question for everyone to hear:

"Mike, do you happen to play poker ?" the man faces you, his confused expression told it all, he didn't. And from the other's cook faces, they probably all thought that you were crazy. None of them looking guilty. But you'll investigate that later.

Not wasting any seconds, you almost run to the main room to find your friend. Luckily for you, she's cleaning glasses at the bar.

"Hey, is it yours ?" you're a little out of breath when showing her the joker card. Your friend simply shakes her head. When you asked her if she knew if one of your colleagues was playing poker, she shrugged and told you she didn't know with an apologetic smile.

"Why ? she asks.

-It's complicated." you say.

It can't be from the same person, right ? If it is anyway, that probably means one of your colleagues is the one putting these at your place. Which is a terrifying idea because you sure never gave your address to anyone here. Trying to see the bright side of it all, that means that you may know your 'joker'. And if that's the case, there's a way for you to stop them. It's better than the cards coming from a total stranger, because you can't act against them. You'll probably leave some clues at work to see and trap your joker.

The rest of the day was terribly hard. You were dying from the inside. Your tummy was growling like a beast; you did not have the time to eat. As you're juggling between two jobs, your boss thought that he had to exploit you as much as he could before you left. Because you're joining the bar, your second working place, at two pm.

"You're gonna leave in the middle of the day, when most people are coming. I'm losing money here, you see ?" he had said to you that day. Yeah, he does not give you any breaks because to him, you don't need one as you leave earlier. Of course you tried to negotiate and he was agreeing with you, on the condition that he pays you less.

"Mike, I'm leaving. you tell him, taking off your apron. Have a nice day, say hi to your kids for me." he smiles warmly to you, wave and you're out of the room in a quarter of seconds. You already bid goodbye to your friend so all you had to do now was to leave.

Putting on your jacket, your thoughts can't stop but think back about this other card you found. Yours is mine to steal. In what sense ? You could've thought it was some creepy flirting but it's just too much. You found these at home, at work. Everywhere. Are they going to rip your heart apart, too ? Are these threats ?

Hopping in the bus, you try to stay away from Gotham's crackhead as much as possible but it's hard when they're drunk and staring at you like they want to beat the shit out of you.

Fortunately, your stop arrives and you hurry to get out. It's 2:36 PM (14:36), the bar is not open yet but cleaning and organizing everything is part of your contract.

It's at five pm (17h) that you open the bar, standing behind your counter and waiting patiently for clients to arrive. You're happy Sean is here. He's a big man of 2m3 (~6'8), practices combat sport and knows how to handle different weapons. In a neighborhood like this, you're more than grateful to have him.

He's also the son of the owner. So it's really just the two of you here. The first persons starts entering the place and it quickly fills up entirely. It's quite a famous area, cops never comes here as mobs are doing their own laws. Sean puts on some background music you can't even hear anymore over the loud voices of the men laughing cavernously.

You're busy serving people's drinks. Moving as fast as you could but it being hard when your thoughts are plagued by cards and your mind is not here. Who's this joker man ?

The street lamp are all finally on, meaning it was past seven already. You didn't even see time pass, the incessant flirting and bickering of the men here enough to keep you from being alone with your thoughts.

"Thanks baby." says a young man when you give him his beer. He has a really bad scar going from his forehead to his lower lip. It's no surprise, you saw men with less limbs, other talking unknowns languages, some with sight or hearing completely lost. Sometimes normal people like you would come, women even but more rarely as the men here were true animals.

You wonder what type of people there is with you tonight. You're not naive enough to think all of them are innocent, in fact, you're sure 85% of your client here are criminals. This bar is situated apart from the city, in a corner more secluded with abandoned looking buildings and scary dark alleys you certainly don't want to visit at night, or even at day for that matter.

This place sucks.

Honestly, with your cards problem, you even considered engaging a spy to see who put these creepy notes in your mailbox. But two things prevented you to do so; first, you do not want to do business with criminals, second; there was a chance that your joker was one of your client.

Some of your clients here probably have mental illness as well, worsening their state. And maybe someone fixated on you and decided to follow you home. It'd be really awkward to engage a man to scare your joker away, only for him to be the same person you're trying to avoid.

But now this idea starts to disappear. You found a card at work after all, your boss is not stupid enough to let anyone break in. So the criminal track wasn't the one. It's one of your colleagues. There's just no way one of the bar's client could have followed you home and at the restaurant.

But on the other hand, it's difficult to see one of your colleagues following you home too. Because after working at the restaurant, you're not heading home right away. You're working here. Is it possible they waited outside until you finished ?

"A whisky for me." is what tears you away from your misery.

You do not look up, instead turning your back to him and reaching the shelves to search for the bottle. You grab a glass, throwing ice cubes in it and pouring the harsh liquid in. You then slide it to him, he nods and drink a first long gulp.

You follow his arm to his face before blocking on it. It's a man with a skin so pale it's getting worrying. His eye bag are terribly dark that you thought he had put black eye-shadow on them. And for a second, you truly thought it was the case. He had really bad scars going from each corner of his lips up to his cheeks, like a badly drawn smile. In the small crevices of his scarred skin, there was faint white and red paint, or make-up that did not left during shower. Is he like, a mime or a clown ? He looks like he haven't showered for a while, no judgements or anything, but his green hair are greasy.

He continues to savor his drink quietly while you're here, astonished by such weird scars. You saw scars, a lot of them. But they all looked accidental, caused by self defense or anything. But his clearly looked volunteer. You could clearly see that the goal was to create some sick form of smile, whether it is successful or not. What the hell happened to this guy ? Has he been tortured ? Did he make these to himself ?

'You got some nasty scars' you want to say. But the wicked grin he gives you is enough to make you gulp and smile awkwardly. Of course he saw you looking at him, you did not move an inch/millimeters. And he does not look like the type of guy to be nice.

"D'you like them ?

-Sorry ? you blinked.

-My scars. Do you like them ?

-Uh, yeah, yeah.

Fucking creepy. What the hell ? What did he do to have those ? Why is he even asking you this ? Why is he looking at you like that ?

-Do you want to know how I got them ?

-No." you answer at the mere second he ended his question, by pure fear he was going to destroy you. Or try to recreate those scars on you. Hey, you never know.

The man grins and chuckles at the quickness of your answer and stops talking for a while. Did you just escape death ? You think so.

He stopped drinking, though. You try to look busy but you're just organizing and disorganizing things on loop. Sean is having the time of his life chatting with the clients towards the tables area. But you, you're stuck behind the counter. You can't even count the times you got your ass slapped or got whistled. Plus, some of these guys often try to threaten you with knifes to make you give them free drinks.

It could've work if Sean wasn't here.

But it's comical in a sense. The morning, you're busy being the little dog, the little slave of these stuck rich people crying when their plate arrives one minute late, with prices on the menu so high it's clearly a scam for some eggs and bacon. With a ground so perfectly clean you could lick it.

And at night, you're here. Surrounded by criminals, drunkards and God knows who. With bad music taste rumbling in the background and place so dirty you could throw up and not even see it through the trash lingering on the ground. Well, in your defense, because you're the one cleaning, it was clean before. But everyone arrives with their disgusting shoes or bleeding and then they spill their drinks, and they fight and, yeah. At the end of the day, this place is a mess.

Your back is still facing the mime guy but you know he's staring at you. You know it because you can't stop shuddering. Your works are sure keeping you in touch with reality at least, you've seen both extreme.

"What's your name ?" You face him, afraid to offend this weirdo.

Telling him your name out of all the people ? Never. Smiling the best you can, you tell him your coworker name from the restaurant. He grins like a Cheshire cat, his smile accentuated by his prominent scars, nodding. You know better than to ask him back his name, he's probably, surely, a criminal. You don't have a death wish at the moment. You usually don't like to lie but this job at the bar taught you better.

-You know, he starts again and you pray he does not start to harass you with questions, he licks his lower lip before continuing. There's one thing I truly hate in this world. He pauses. You wanna know what ?

-Tell me. You say reluctantly, not wanting to anger him.

He lays one of his elbows on the counter, raising a brow and looking around him as if going to tell you a secret he wants no one else but you to know. Then, he looks at you again, a mysterious glint in his eyes.

-Liars.

Oh.

-They're such... he squints his eyes, moving his hand in the air to the flow of his thoughts. Vicious, little bitch, you know ? If we want to change things, he licks his lips, they're the first people that have to go. Don't you think ?

-Yes, I'm with you on that. you hurry to answer, nodding frenetically, feeling your blood run cold and a sweat cross your spine. Myself I really can't stand lying, you know ? Liars are really bad, they're manipulative and all. you were just trying to save your ass at this point. You received a lot of threats in your life, but this man right here ? There was something deeply wrong with him. He was fucking traumatizing you. You did not want to mess with him.

The only thing plaguing your thoughts is; does he know ? Does he know you lied about your name ? Because he specifically asked this question right after you presented yourself. Does he know ? No, no he doesn't. How is he supposed to know you ? You don't even have any name tag on.

The man chuckles deeply before you, licking very briefly his lips again; is that a tic ?

-What's his name ? he asks, looking straight to Sean, as if judging his soul. Does he have to stare at people like he wants to kill them all the time ?

Now you understand. He scared the shit out of you to ensure you wouldn't be lying to him. And now he's testing you. Why, you don't know. But you answer honestly this time. He smiles mischievously. Maybe that wasn't even his plan, maybe he's just deeply weird and unsettling. Maybe he doesn't even know you ever lied to him. Maybe you see things where there's none.

If there's one thing Gotham has taught you, it's to be wary of everyone.

-Are you fucking him ? he asks again, still looking at Sean laughing with the others.

-Why ? this thought never even crossed your mind before. Why would you fuck Sean ? He's nice, he's good looking but, you don't know, you wouldn't fuck him. You just, don't want to ? He's a friend.

-He's quite the tall guy. Are you fucking him ? he insists, ignoring completely your question.

Wow, that is getting incredibly uncomfortable and personal. You know you're supposed to entertain them and all but damn, this guy is killing you. You throw a glance in Sean's direction, hoping to catch his attention so he could help you but he's busy laughing with other clients.

-Why're looking at him ? I'm the one talking.

-I don't think this is appropriate, Sir. It's quite the personal questions you're asking me here. you laugh nervously, hoping to relax the mood but the man before you doesn't even react. Can I maybe offer you another drink ? It'll help...

-You got something to hide ? he licks his lips.

What. The. Fuck.

-I have to stay mysterious in order for you to come back, right ? you do not want this weirdo to come back, but that's the default sentence you usually say to avoid answering intimate questions.

But the make-up man does not insist, he gives you a cheeky grin.

-You want me to come back ? How flattering.

Most of the time, what you implies when saying this is that you want them to come back to consume more, so you have more money because you're kinda the bartender of this place. But this guy just plainly wants to fuck you up. Where's Sean when you need him the most ?

It's like no one around you is seeing you. They're all drinking their sadness, trauma, day away, not caring that a creepy guy is keeping you in his weird conversation you clearly do not want to participate in.

-Do you want to play a game with me ?

-I'm... Quite busy, actually. So...

But he knows you, now. He knows you're a bad little liar. Listening to you is now optional to him; he clearly doesn't care. The man stands up and you start to get scared. What is he going to do ? Is he going to hurt you ? Your hand is holding firmly the bat under the counter, fingers shaking with adrenaline. You never used a weapon before, less against someone. You never hurt someone, intentionally at least.

Sean, move your ass over here, now.

The man grins, eyes trailing your arms. He knows you're hiding something under this counter, but can he blame you ? You're surrounded by criminals, he's one himself ! It's impossible to know what to expect. Honestly, you're ready to scream to get attention and get helped. Even if there's high possibilities for a general fighting to start resulting in this poor bar to be destroyed.

But the man does not try to hurt you, he smiles, put his hands in his pocket and you now realize how well he's dressed for someone like him. A nice and well maintained purple suit.

"It makes me live and follow you at dark, keeps me up at night and makes you fall apart."

No...

-Who am I ?" He ends slowly, torturing you.

Your shoulders slouched down, tension leaving your hand on the bat. Your body become a big, useless puddle. Eyes as big as owl ones.

"I-I don't want to play. Your stutter had gave away your uneasy feeling, you step back, eyeing this man from head to toe.

You've come to despise those damn riddles. You don't want to hear more of them.

-But this one's so simple sweetheart. He mocks you. It starts with a pretty little O and ends with a N. I'm sure you'll find out.

You shake your head slowly; no, it's not simple, no, you don't want to find out, no, you don't fucking want to listen to him. But he simply chuckles, relatively amused by such a big reaction. Well, with that kind of huge revelation, you can't quite control yourself.

He's rummaging through his pocket, heart almost leaving you. What is he searching for ? A weapon ? What is he thinking ? But against all odds, the joker man takes out something so small you can't even see it behind his palm. You know he's doing it on purpose, hiding it from you to destroy you more, to see the look of surprise, fear or shock, or... Whatever, on your face.

-That's my business card, as a little... Reminder." You deeply doubt someone like him own any business, less business card. So what is he going to give you ?

He lays gently his hand on the counter right before you, not letting you see what he was hiding until he removed completely his hand, confirming your theory of him hiding it on purpose. You'd recognize them anytime. Your heart is beating faster, so fast you're scared it might explode. Nothing is written on the side you're staring at, you grab the cardboard, praying that it's just a crazy coincidence even if the drawing of the joker smiling stupidly on the card is taunting you.

But when you turn the card, the answer is given to you. For the first time since you've started to receive these.

-Obsession." you sigh, breath getting stuck in your throat. You were petrified. "You're... You're the joker man." you say in a shaky voice. Was it finally him ? Answers, you needed answers. But when you looked up, the man had disappeared. Leaving you with nothing but deep fear.

Silent tears slide on your cheeks, you bring your hand to your mouth in order to hide your muffles. Looking back at the card, you feel your legs give up under you when your real name is written in bold black letters in a bottom corner. Bile is rushing to your throat.

It's him. He's the one sending you these.

But you don't know him. You don't fucking know this man. And he's a criminal. You're fucked. Smiling like a madman, you start to laugh nervously, not realizing the situation. It's a joke, right ? You cough, progressively choking on your saliva. You bite your lower lip so hard it starts bleeding. You pray, you pray so hard this man isn't your stalker but you're lying to yourself. It's literally the worst case scenario that could happen.

You've never seen this man in your entire fucking life. Where does he even come from ? Why you ? Why him ? With his fucking creepy scars and fucking riddles. He knows your address ! Your name ! What else does he know ?

"You okay there ?" You nod without even looking at the person talking to you. You choke out a quick answer before rushing to the back towards the private toilet.

Immediately collapsing to the ground, you throw up everything you had in you, which wasn't a lot to begin with. You barely even ate anything. But you can't stop. You empty yourself, only vomiting water.

Sean finally comes get you, he rubs your back and help you get up. "What happened ?" He asks you.

"I don't fucking know." Is the only thing you can muster.

What you do know however, is that you're scared to go home.

"Are you heading home tonight ?" You ask him, voice hoarse. "Well, yeah" is his answer. So you asked him, begged him to come with you. Because you were horrified by the mere idea of going home alone. Maybe he would be here.

"You can come to mine if ya want." he offers. And you think that the guy from yesterday probably was right, you were weird. Why aren't you going to the cops, after all ? Probably because they'll think you're lying, that you're insane. A joker ? Harassing you with riddles ? You'll end up in a asylum in no time.

But wouldn't you be safer in a asylum ?

When Sean and you closed the bar, it was already well past one am. You didn't had the strength to redo this all over again tomorrow. But Sean was of good company, cheering you up and trying to ease your mind. Multiples times he tried to ask what was wrong, but he guessed it alone. "Was it that weird customer in purple ? The one with the suit ? I saw him lingering a really long time at the counter." You shrugged when he said that, completely worn out. What could he even do against him anyway ? The Joker man wasn't known to any of you. It was a lost cause.

Chatting with your friends wasn't even crossing your mind, you were terrified. The long walk to his apartment was as quiet as a church. What the fuck were you going to do now ? You were dead, yes, you were just dead at this point. What can you even do against some psycho following you around ? Fight back ? Yeah, if you have a death wish. You have to get out of this city, there's no other plan. But how ? And to go where ?

"We're here." says Sean. You've never been to his apartment's before, and to be honest, you would have preferred for it to happen in other circumstances. Trying to escape a criminal wasn't in this year plan.

Before you stood a tumbledown grey building, not much different from yours in reality. After all, Sean's not that rich, he's payed like you and live with his dad's payment. Though, you're pleasantly surprised to see the coziness of his place.

Warm lights were turned on, his sofa looked quite mellow and the general smell of the apartment was lovely. Not that you're judging him, but you wouldn't have thought he was such a clean guy. Because he's like, well, some kind of mafia man. So, yeah, he often smells like sweat and dirt himself, it's a surprise his place is so neat. Sure, it's damaged by humidity then and there, there's cracks in the walls but so do yours. The paint is peeling in some areas as well, you're used to it enough to not notice it. You take off your shoes, but keep your jacket. Probably in search of a safe feeling, maybe by fear of being vulnerable.

"You can sit on the couch, I'll order something.

You don't even have the will to eat right now, the ugly feeling everything entering your body might be threw back out instantly bothering you too much. However, you did sit on the couch. It smelt like him; you hated it. You were violating his property, his intimacy. You shouldn't be here.

But do you really have a choice ?

Sean is talking in the background, on the phone, yet, not a single word is understood by you. It's like he's speaking a whole new language. The red flowers on his TV stand keeps reminding you of the joker's card and his damn hat.

He hung up, that you heard, and left for another room. You hate to bother him, he probably only wanted to go home and sleep after a hard day but you messed up his plans. Grabbing the remote, you turn on the TV to empty your mind. You search for series, documentary or cartoons, only to be disappointed at the sight of obnoxious ads.

You end up watching the news, it being the sole channel not drowned in ads. A woman is speaking in a professional neutral voice, wearing a white shirt. She talks about the inflation killing our country before going onto her next subject; the outgrowing insecurity. The two preoccupation of the government, or at least, what they want you all to think about.

From what she says, a hold-up happened in a bank yesterday, in plain sight. (Why do they talk about it now, you don't now.) The building stank laughing gas. Only one man declares having seen the main suspect. Her chair slides to the side, leaving space for the video to appear and for the victim to testify; "Green disgusting hair and some fucked up clown make-up. That's the only thing I saw. He has no value, I'm telling you, criminals used to believe in things ! He has no respect for anyone, he killed his own team ! He's gonna come back for me, I'm sure of..." and he's erased from the screen at his outburst, for everyone to forget his trauma.

Did he say clown ?

"Indeed, the woman vigorously resumes, a faint smile on, was she laughing at the victim ? green hair and clown make-up is on brand today as everyone only talks about this mysterious criminal. After disappearing for months, the troublemaker is back in town and seems unstoppable. But has he truly ever gone away ?

It's not the same man, right ? No, no of course not. If he's a famous criminal, he has better things to do than harass insignificant useless civilians like you with stupid riddles. He robbed a bank ! Why would he even look in your direction? Fuck, what if he thinks you have some kind information? What if he think you're related to a criminal ? What if you are ?

-He calls himself Joker, always wears his clown make up and has a habit of wandering at night." The woman straightens her posture and clasps her hands together. "After yesterday's fiasco, the famous criminal already perpetrated his next attack. Earlier, at noon, the biggest hospital of the city was targeted. Cops were able to evacuate everyone urgently. Gotham is in shamble, people are afraid and angry. The police is trying to calm the crowds, in vain." Images are shown behind her of people running, yelling, stretchers evacuating and flashing cops car during her speech.

She continues talking but you stopped listening when finally a picture of the Joker was displayed on the screen, his face horrifyingly reminding you something. Too many information are going to your brain in so little time. You try to rationalize everything but it's hard when your mind is too tired to cooperate.

He's called the Joker. And you happen to receive joker cards. He wears make up. The man at the bar looked like he did. Hyperventilating is the only thing seemingly still possible from your body. You stand up, inking, sinking, learning, engraving his face to memory.

Two big scars, both going from each corner of his mouth to his cheeks.

Like a badly drawn smile.

"Sean !" you call. Your friend runs out of the bathroom, disheveled, shirt loose and no pants, only in underwear. He rushed out, scared something had happened. Your shaking pointer aim at the TV screen, at the face of the man on it. "It's him. He was at the bar."

When Sean looks at the man, a chill runs down his spine. He understands what might have happened earlier. He could see the purple suit the man had on on the picture, which was the exact same one he saw at the bar. Fuck, it is the same man. He knows the Joker, hell, everyone knows him here.

And that's bad news.

He's everywhere in everyone business. He has no sense of loyalty whatsoever, killing even his best allies and no one has the slightest clue what he wants. At the bar, he probably scared the shit out of you, he probably threatened you, too. Why, it's impossible to know. He's quite the unpredictable.

-Don't worry, he says, he probably forgot about you already. He's a scary man, likes to shock people a little. He always attack for a reason and you're not a criminal, so you're good."

But you couldn't believe it. He does not have all the information. He doesn't know about the tons of cards you received until now. Eyes completely stuck to the screen, you observe the face before you, knowing you probably wouldn't be able to escape him.

Somehow, this emission confirmed to you that he was real, that you weren't dreaming. And that you really were in it deeply.

Sean insists you shower to relax a little bit, you're holding onto the remote for dear life, nails digging in your palm. When in the bathroom, your eyes automatically gravitates towards the mirror, discovering your new face scarred by sleepless nights and cries. You're almost scared of your reflection. Sighing, your hands find themselves in your pockets alone but you're startled by the coldness they are greeted with. What have you in your pocket that is freezing like that ?

Your unease comes back in a rush when you take out another one of these cards from your jacket. Are you for real going crazy ? What is going on ? When did this get here ? How did it get here ? It's your damn jacket ! You had it in the work closet all day !

You're tired and doing this little fucked up game is not doing any good. A greasy almost wiped red is the first thing you see, his lips, you guess. He wears some kind of paint as lip stick, he fucking kissed the card, creepy bastard.

Turning the stiff paper, your eyes meet once again one of these painful riddle.

"I'm everywhere, you can't escape me and I'm coming for you. Who am I ?" tears slide quietly on your cheeks, the only sane reaction your emotionless state can give. You're not even moving, eyes staying fixated on the card; the tears are just physical. Body exhausted from it all. What is this now ? You know he's not talking about an object anymore, he's talking about himself. It's not riddles, it's threats. He's coming for you, what is he going to do ? Kill you ? Torture you, or worse ?

The shower did nothing to ease your nerves, you've never been so tensed in your life. What could you even do against this man ?

When Sean called you to eat, you let him know you weren't feeling the slightest hunger. He said nothing, simply keeping a plate for you on the kitchen counter.

You did not even blink an eye that night, paranoid at the slightest noise, a knife slept cautiously under your cushion. The windows and doors were completely shut and you would have loved to do the very same thing to your brain. You fell asleep, eventually, when you should have been up.

Sean was still asleep when you awoke the next day. You were late, and terribly so, the clicking clock on the wall warning you. It was already way past nine. You don't like to leave his house without even thanking him for his hospitality once again. But you'll see him tonight, at the bar. You'll probably have to quit, though. Not yet, as you have to secure another job. You can't risk being here without money, after all. Joker knows where you work at, no way you're staying more than necessary. But... he has to know about your restaurant job too, somehow.

You had a card in the closet, with his stupid shelf trap, after all.

You're safer there, maybe. It's quite the chic area. There's camera, people. Socialites are here, nobody attacks socialites. Usually, at least. Doubts subsists, the journalist on the TV affirmed the Joker attacked in the middle of the day, in plain sight. Would he attack the rich ? They're untouchable, their lawyer always know what to do and they know everyone. You can't kill a famous advocate, right ? It's like attacking the mayor. Remembering his face, you keep the unsettling impression he could kill anyone.

Fuck.

You take a piece of paper, write a few words on it, scotch it on the fridge and leave, dashing outside to not worsen your lateness. You were dead, oh you were so dead. Late couldn't even describe your situation by now. You boss was going to kill you, de-materialize you and send you in another world.

You ran until your legs couldn't support you anymore, people were side-eyeing you in the streets. Certainly thinking of you as some kind of thief or at the very least a criminal of some sort.

Jumping in the nearest bus, your legs being too weak to support you anymore, you finally arrive at your workplace ten minutes later. It was quarter to ten.

You're breathless, rushing once again to the rear of the restaurant. You push the back door open but to your surprise, it won't budge. What ? The guys never lock the door that early in the morning, they know you'll arrive, eventually. You knock a few times, knowing you had the key anyway but if someone was passing by inside, it would be quicker.

You don't have to wait that long as your boss himself is the one opening it for you, as if waiting beside it until your entry. He probably was. He crosses his arms on his chest, eyes glaring holes in you. Damn, you'll have to fight with him, again. You promised him you wouldn't be late anymore, he will never trust you again.

Well, it's not like he trusted you much before to begin with.

"Listen, I'm terribly sorry I'm late but... he scoffs.

-As If that was the only problem ! The man tightens his jaw, talking between his teeth. He approaches his head to yours, almost colliding your forehead together; he talks lowly, scared to be heard. You know damn well what's wrong.

Wow, okay. You were not expecting his reaction to be that dramatic. You're just (incredibly) late. It's not new. What's gotten into him ? You squint your eyes, at a loss of words.

-I was just... You start, ready to recite him once again your preposterous apologies.

-I don't give a fuck about you being late, he cracks, get out of here now ! You are not to put a single of your foot in this restaurant anymore ! You're gonna scare my customers ! In the process, a postilion left its house to attack your cheek. You cringe, immediately wiping it with your sleeve, shuddering in disgust.

-What ?

-What, what, he mimics you with a grimace and a weird voice, Get out of here ! He articulates each words slowly as if you were a foreigner, except his tone was harsh and firm. Haven't you seen the news ? If they hear a criminal is working here, I'm screwed.

-A criminal ? But I'm not... I'm, what the hell ? I'm not a criminal Tony.

-Yeah, yeah, and I'm rich ! Get the fuck out of here or at least, do me a favor and let me turn you in to the police." his face changes to disdain, suddenly thoroughly repelled by your being. "Man, you have to be some dirty criminal to have 600 000$ put on your face. What kind of shit have you done, huh ?

Six fucking what ?

-Uh, listen, I think there's some kind of misunderstanding here. I'm no criminal and I'm definitely not worth that much money.

Hell, in all your life, you did not even earn that much money !

-Hey, his tone changed to deviously adopt one sweeter. I don't want any problems okay ? With you, the cops or whoever is fucking wanting you dead. I'm an honest citizen.

What a hypocrite, he was literally yelling at you seconds ago.

You frown, trying to even understand what he's implying. You scratch your cheek, eyeing him from head to toe. He's in a tux, like always. He never do shit here, settling for bossing everyone around while trying to make you believe he's an irreplaceable element in the team.

Judging by his eyes, he is not kidding.

Is he for real firing you ? Just like that ? For some imaginary story he just made up ? Jobless, you will be jobless. He is firing you. A nervous chuckles escapes you, earning you a raise of the brow from Tony. No, oh no no ! You have this job, you did nothing wrong ! Life is already more shitty than it ever been ! Stalker, debts, fucking serial killer wanting your ass and now you lost your main job ? No, that won't do.

You were already planning to leave the bar, how are you supposed to find back two jobs ? One already was an ordeal.

-Honest citizen ? Are you blind ? You were more so than him at the moment. You don't even have an ounce of honesty in your fucking body ! Are you even aware of everything I did for this shitty place ? You can't fire me and you won't because no one else want to be your fucking slave ! Your job is slavery ! I don't want to be some kind of toy you throw away after you've had enough fun with it !

Tony was outraged you could talk to him like that. He was similar to a bourgeois in the eighteenth century, acting shocked after being the most gruesome person alive, putting his hand displayed on his chest and playing innocent.

-Me ? You should be honored to even be working ! You never understand, do you ? You are wanted, that's it ! There's nothing more, nothing less. You are fired. I am not hiring trash.

You hope the worst criminal of this town gets you, right here, for his fucking ugly disgusting restaurant to be destroyed to the very last crumbs. You'll use his body as a human shield while you're at it, after all, what else can he be useful for ?

Your body is boiling like lava. Hitting, jumping, crying, you don't know what you want, need, to do to externalize all of these toxic feelings. Never in your life have you felt more used, humiliated.

You knew he was an asshole, of course. Everyone does, but hell he fired you ! After years of being his toy !

You understand why people in Gotham are crazy. You understand why they suddenly breakdown and fall into crime. Their life, just like yours, was wasted by some self centered prick like him. Some self centered prick who are not even much richer than you, but think they will be when disrespecting you.

Your face isn't even warm, it's seething.

Your life is flashing before you, old friend, family, home, Mike. You won't even be able to pay your rent ! Of course chaos would be loved in a city where trash rules. Why the manifestation are so violent, why insecurity and banditry are prominent ? Because everyone is tired but nobody is listening. Because nobody wants to talk, they think they're at the top of the food chain.

And he won't change his mind. You're fired, that's all. Nothing can alters his decision. It's too late. He probably just created some poor excuses to get you out, you know it. Because you're not a criminal, and no one is giving away 600 000$ for your ass; he's lying. It's too farfetched.

You muster the calmest voice you can get while in such a boiling state, and God knows how hard it is. Wasting more time here is useless, he'll pay but not now, and not by you. You have a new problem: you need to find a job.

-Why don't you kill yourself, Tony ? Right now ? your eyes were empty against his outraged ones. That's why your wife left you, by the way. That's why she left you and took your damn kids. You don't even deserve to live, really, kill yourself, jump, it'll be better for everyone."

You shrug and turn away to never come back. You really hope he disappears forever.

And without anything else to do with your day, you went back home, body functioning by its own. With no diploma and no driving license, how were you supposed to find a job ? You had little experience, mostly having worked in little jobs everywhere. Cashiers, cleaner, babysitting, gardener (you really just cut bushes and mowed the lawn), security guard, fuck, you did it all. Plus, you have a second job and companies hate to arrange their schedules according to yours, in their point of view, you're the desperate one, you should manage your life.

It was safer to wander in Gotham now, the sun was bright in the sky. It was a clear day, really pretty. A shame you couldn't enjoy it.

You open the always creaking door of the building, feeling the freezing temperature inside. Truly a mystery, though a benediction in the hottest summer. A night out and it's like you already don't know this place anymore. You stand in the middle of the hall, staring at each crack in the walls, each suspicious stains, inhaling the disgusting smell emanating from it all.

Yeah, you hate this place.

Sighing and rubbing your tensed shoulders, you approach your mailbox. Opening it, you're pleasantly surprised when no cards is in sight. Maybe he finally got bored ? Your reaction back at the bar probably wasn't what he expected, not satisfying enough so he gave up. You hope so.

What's inside however is a A4 white sheet folded in two. Thinking a neighbor might have wanted to contact you, you open the paper. Yet, on it, the photo of your identity card in huge format, above it, your whole legal name with just below a price, written 'wanted' for treason. A chill run down your spine.

Okay, that is not funny. What the hell ? Did Tony did that ? If yes, how and why ? You pass your hand on your face, harshly rubbing your eyelids to wake you up. This is a joke, everything's a joke.

An echo brings you back on earth when someone goes down the stairs, upon seeing you, your neighbor halts. You offer him a tight lip smile out of pure politeness, which is a an act he does not even try to imitates as he eyes you as if seeing an animal. Do you look that bad ?

Awkwardly, you shift your weight on your feet to ease the tension growing in you. Why is he still looking at you ? The man, even though you were already well far away from him, distances himself and instead of going straight to the door to leave, bothers to make a detour in order to skirt you completely, without daring to approach a millimeter. Does he think you're going to bite, or what ? You two have talked in the past, briefly sure, but still. Fuck, his behaviour does not comfort you one bit.

When the door shut, you're left standing alone once again.

Things are definitely going in a direction you don't appreciate, you may need to hurry up before something really bad happens. Your hand fetches your phone in your back pocket, calling Sean. When he answers, he does not even bother to greet you.

"You okay? You left really early. You're at work ?

-I got fired, long story. I really need your help, again. I'm truly sorry I myself don't quite understand what's going on and... you stop your ranting, breathless and a lump in throat.

-It's okay, really. I don't mind. Tell me everything, how did you get fired ? Why ?

You called him for several reasons. The first being that he's kind of the only friend you have. The second being that Sean's family know people. They're all criminal at different degrees, whether it is gang leader, small thief or hitman. He's the only one actively trying to live an honest life.

-It's complicated and I'm still pissed about it. you tell him seriously, walking in circles in the hall. I have a question and I really need your answer.

-Not stressing at all. He tries to ease the mood, in vain.

-Am I wanted ?

Sean doesn't answer for twenty seconds too much. His silence is starting to worry you, why isn't he saying anything ? Is he confused ? Does he know ? Please, may he not hide something from you. Wanting to distract yourself, you take the stairs to join your flat. Your fingers were creasing the paper sheet in your hand so hard you could have ripped it.

-In like, he finally starts with a strained voice, a personality kind of way ? Relationship ? He chuckles awkwardly while you frown. Well, no offense but uh, I don't think I am attracted to you, I like you but I wouldn't say I want you, you know ? But you shouldn't be insecure, you're a really great person you know, and I mean, you're not ugly so...

-Sean, what the fuck ? You finally cut him when it hit you that he wasn't answering. You were on the floor just below yours, wanting to walk and not quite go home for the moment.

-I'm sorry, was that mean ? That was definitely mean. He clears his throat. Listen, what I meant was...

-No Sean I'm not insecure, everything's fine. I did not mean... Argh ! You're in this kind of environment, you should know !

-What environment ...?

You want to pull at his hair and shake his head back and forth to punish him for being so stupid. Or maybe you were just not being clear, it was surely that. You were incredibly stressed. Traveling between the different floors or the building to stretch your legs.

-Like, criminals, mafia, I don't know. It's... You sigh, your anger dissipating when you realized you were being a little harsh to him. Weird things keep happening to me and I think I'm going crazy for thinking I may have a price on my head.

-Oh, wanted wanted. No because I thought... He coughs. Never mind. I can definitely tell you that. But honestly, odds are low. No offense but you have nothing to give to anyone. You don't have a lot of money. So I don't think anyone wants you.

Damn.

-Why do you think that anyway ? he asks.

Very briefly, you explain to him why Tony had fired you, still using the stairs and floors as a distraction. Of course, you then told him about the paper you found in your mailbox and the weird encounter with your neighbor.

-I'm just really fucking lost, Sean. I'm sorry, you've been nothing but nice to me and I keep snapping at you, I-I don't know what's going on.

-You're freaked out, it's normal. I don't blame you. I'll help you, send me the wanted poster you got. Maybe it's fake."

Of course, you tell him. You'd do pretty much anything to get out of this situation. You want it to be fake, but there's just an accumulation of bad things that tend to make you believe it's true. Looking around you, you notice to be on the last floor of the building. Flattening the paper sheet back, trying to erase all the creases, you lay it on the dirty floor of the hallways. You tear your phone away from your ear for a simple moment to take the picture. You press send.

You wait impatiently for him to say something, anything. But his reaction is clearly not the one you were waiting for:

-Oh fuck.

-What ? you panic, feeling your heart rises in your throat. What do you mean 'oh fuck' ? Sean ?" But the nauseating ringing of the call being cut short echoes in your ear.

He hung up.

You bite your lip, shutting your eyes as hard as you can. Your fingers find your closed lid, pressing on it as if calming an upcoming headache. What the fuck is going on exactly ? Why did he hang up ? Did you say something ? Did he see something ? You can't keep doing that, nobody answered any of your questions since this morning. You are tired.

You give up. You'll go back home, sleep a little. Research a job in the newspaper and hope for things to get better. Sighing, you walk the stairs once again, only this time to really move on.

Has everyone given up on you ? It feels like it, no one seems akin to want to help you. You never did any wrong to anyone. You always hold the door open to people, you give the few you have to homeless people in the streets. You payed what an old woman lacked in money for her groceries. You work everyday of the damn week, with no holidays.

What have you done ?

Sure, you're starting to break down, you told Tony to kill himself, you yelled at Sean. What the hell ? Never would you have done that in your life. What's happening ? It's getting scary out there, yet, no one's here for you to confide in.

You never should have left your hometown, you punished yourself.

The first thing you do once inside your home is falling head first on the couch. Feeling tears filling up your eyes. You don't fight them, letting them slide freely along your cheeks. After all, it's the good part of having a place to yourself, you get to cry alone in the safety of it.

You'll have to give it up, though. Without necessary money, you'll eventually need to move. Probably find a roommate and live in a red light district.

You spent the next hours trying to read classified ads, key word being 'trying' as your watery eyes didn't allow you to see much. And you ended up watching TV, like you always do. You couldn't fathom the idea of being that alone. When did it all go wrong ? Are you a horrible person ?

The news-woman kept talking and talking without stopping, saying the same things as yesterday and probably tomorrow as well. Inflation, criminality, inflation, criminality. Where were you in all of this ? What about the population ? Where were the solutions ? Is this city really stuck in a loop of chaos ?

The screen now displays a cop in a police station, sharing his feeling and impression about the improvement of the city. You don't listen to him, more struck by what's behind him: a poster on a cork board. Yours. It's your face, with the price, 'treason' shit and everything. The exact same poster you had in your mailbox. The situation is that bad, huh ? Your wanted poster is right next to The Joker one. Is there a link ? Are they hoping to find him after finding you ? They're wrong, then.

You wait, impatiently trying to decipher whether the policeman will talk about you or not. But he does not, so you lay back down on the couch. How does wanted people live freely ? You've been researched for a few hours and you're already going crazy with the feeling everyone's watching you.

Do you even know a criminal in this town ? Well, the only one you do know is Sean. You briefly meet them at the bar, as part of your job. Befriending them is not for you though, so you have no useful information to give the Joker. Then what does he want ?

The doorbell rings through the flat, screaming at you to get up and do something with your life. A chill run through your body, breath stopping for a second out of fear to be heard. For a while, you don't move. Who could it be anyway ? Surely bad news. Now that you're wanted, it could be anyone. But the rings echoes again, forcing you to get up. Slowly and as quietly as possible, you slide to the door. Eye staring through the peephole, you're surprised to discover Sean standing anxiously outside.

How did he get your address ?

Opening the different locks on your door, you however keep the small chain closing it. It wasn't much of a protection to be honest, but you needed to lie to yourself a little bit.

"You hung up on me. Is the only thing you say when your eyes meet.

-I know, I'm really sorry. Are you okay ?

-How did you get my address ? It's weird.

He explains to you how your information are given on your work file. You stand inside, judging him from head to toe. He welcomed you at his place, you have to be polite or you'll really look like an opportunistic. But it's hard when you don't know his exact thoughts.

-Why did you hang up ?

-I talked to my uncle, he has a bar in the center of Gotham. Every criminal goes there, he knows everything.

-And ?

-You're safe, it's false. You're not wanted. He... He didn't see your poster. So it was a bad joke. Silence, you don't believe him. I promise. You're not in danger.

Then why is your face plastered in all Gotham ? Is he completely sure about that information ? You hate to act this way but, it's too late for him to tell you that anyway. False or not, the poster of your head is everywhere. People will try to find you. The veracity of it all doesn't matter anymore.

Though you can't shake that uneasy feeling inside you alerting you of his lie. You saw your face on TV, in a police station. It's not nothing !

-How are you so sure ?

-I told you, you have nothing that could interest such a dangerous man as the Joker.

He's right, on the other hand, something's definitely wrong.

-What do we do, now ?

-You could let me in ? I want to help you but we can't talk if I stay outside.

Halfheartedly, you let him in. He thanks you, admires a few seconds his surroundings before plopping down on the couch. You stay standing even after closing the door shut, crossing your arms on your chest and awaiting his arguments.

Should you tell him you saw your face in a police station ? No, you need to know what he's going to tell you. He's lying, you know it now. But why ?

You thought he could be a friend, turn out you can't trust him that much. Or are you losing it ? Policemen are quite dumb here, they are completely capable of believing everything they see and considering they're desperate to catch the Joker; they could have took your poster as a track.

-What's your plan ? you ask.

-It depends on what you want.

Well, you want a lot of different things. Money, happiness, freedom, family, equality, peace. Right now though, one will be enough.

-I need a job, I can't pay my rent this month otherwise.

-That one's easy. He crosses his arms on his chest, sinking into the sofa cushions. Try ask your bank, they'll lend you some.

-No they won't Sean, I'm indebted. Seriously, did he really think life was this easy ? Did he really think you haven't thought of doing just that ?

He sighs and shrug, crossing his legs, he put his feet on the table. Your eyes are enough to tell him to put them back on the ground. He's a little bit too comfortable for your liking.

-It's these immigrants my friend. We lack money because of them.

What ?

-No, it's just poor distribution of resources. With the ongoing inflation and such, it has literally nothing to do with immigration. You frown, confusion lacing your tone, answering him as if asking a question, because what ? That was so out of pocket ? It's stupid to think like that, it's too easy to accuse others. They're as fucked as we are, you know ? Don't say that.

That's what Gotham thinks ? That each one of their problem is caused by others ? Industries, Government, Politics, they're the one causing all of this. How does someone get to this conclusion ? You thought Sean was good, hell, his family was poor. They survived thanks to drugs and banditry. He's bold to think immigrants are the problem: His family literally embezzles money.

-Jeez, calm down.

Well, it's difficult to be calm towards this kind of stupidity. But at least it keeps you in check, you know who he's voting for. Never trust anyone. It's true you don't know him that well, after all.

-You want my help or not ?

It's harder to see him in the same light as before after this, but if he's the only one willing to help, you can't waste this chance.

-Yeah. You sigh, ashamed with yourself. I need people to forget about me.

-Good, meet me at the back of the bar at the end of our shift. He's not waiting for an answer as he gets up to leave.

-Wow. No ?

He stops in his tracks as you block his way.

-What do you mean, 'no' ?

Is he serious ? With everything you risk ? Criminals at the bar know you, hell, some of them see you every night. No, you are not joining him in the dark in a creepy alley late at night when people want you dead. Also, you need to think a little before jumping straight back to work, it's dangerous.

-Because I don't want to die ?" You need to tell him. "Okay, Sean, I may not understand everything but I know you're lying to me. Am I wanted or not ?

He already lost every ounce of respect you had for him. First with the lying, then with the whole immigrants things.

-You don't believe me ? Is he trying to make you feel guilty ?

-I saw my fucking head on the TV. I believe that's enough proof for me. You cut the conversation straight, not wanting him to keep lengthening things uselessly.

Sean doesn't answer, seemingly hesitating. What is he thinking ? He has to respond. He's constantly trying to avoid the subject and it's getting frustrating.

-That means I'm in danger, right ?

-Yes." he finally answers. Thank God, you think, God why, you also think. "But not because of the Joker. He's not responsible for what's happening to you. All the cards and riddles are from him, yes, but someone saw you two talking at the bar and thought they could get to him by killing you.

You entirely stopped trusting him after he mentioned the cards and the riddles. Because never, in all your discussions, have you mentioned receiving these. He knows too much.

You don't bring it up, of course.

-Explain.

Who could have told him about the riddles, if not you ? The one sending them ? Yes, but Sean's terrified of him. Plus, he couldn't talk to him, even if he had the courage to. It's the Joker, from what you understand, you don't approach him easily. He's not the small local criminal. He's something more.

-The Joker's well known. Everyone wants to defy him. And someone saw you.

-Who ? you ask, finally getting some well deserved qualitative answers.

-His name was, uh, Korej I believe.

-Ko...Rej... you repeat, unimpressed, frowning.

Is it you or does it sound vaguely similar to Joker, but with the letters all mixed up ?

-It's his pseudonym." He hastily answers. "But his real name is John, he lives in the richest part of Gotham. He's a mob leader. He fucking despises the Joker, that's why his name is Kojer.

-Korej, you corrected.

-Yeah, it's difficult to remember. It's quite the shitty name.

He really think you're dumb, right ? You clasp your hands together, catching his drifting attention.

-Okay, well, thank you for everything Sean. It was a pleasure, truly. But now I'm gonna ask you to leave.

-You don't believe me ?

No, no you don't. Everything he ever said to you since he first came here was either weird or false. And sometimes weirdly false.

-Please, leave my house.

You'll go to the nearest police station, ask for help. And if nobody helps you, you'll find a way out of here. This city is dead anyway, there's nothing for you anymore. It's too late.

-Don't you want to talk about it ? he asks hurriedly, displaying his open hands in the air as if ready to grab your shoulders.

-If you want us to talk, okay, you yield. But choose somewhere safe, with a lot of people. I am not joining you at the back of the bar at night where everyone could kill me.

You're going crazy. Why are you even accepting this ? It's not a dream, nor a joke, you really are wanted. People want to kill you. There is money on your head. Sean is deep in thoughts before getting the enlightenment he needed, suddenly vigorously saying:

-Shopping center.

-What ?

-Let's meet at the shopping center, in two hours. I have things to prepare, people to call. You have my number, I'll call you. Is it good for you ?

His behaviour is screaming danger, on the other hand, a rendez-vous in a crowded shopping center at 3PM is not as risky as the bar. And if things turn bad, you still have a chance to run away, hidden in the mass. You hope the things he'll prepare will help you, and not worsen everything.

"Okay. You yield, once again.

-Thank you so much, he exclaimed." Why is he thanking you ? "You're a real sweetheart. It will be worth it."

And with these last words, he left.

You won't go. Of course you won't go damn, you don't want to die. He's so suspicious ! Why so much relief ? He's the one supposed to help you, you're not doing anything for him. You absolutely changed your mind. Yesterday, he was that nice man who saved your life, welcoming you home warmly. Today, he's, well, you don't know who he is anymore. You want to understand, discover what's wrong, but at the same time, it's not yours to do.

Fuck, you need to empty your mind. It's tiring, to be suspicious of everyone, to always have to thoroughly think about everything you do. You plop down on your couch, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on. There's a cartoon going on. Tom and Jerry, a cat chasing, or at least trying to, a mouse. But the mouse's well smarter than the cat. 

Each time he thinks he'll catch it, the mouse finds a way to turn the situation to his advantage. Because in fact, the cat will never win. He has the illusion of strength because of his height, when the mouse is vicious, malign. 

Also, if the cat caught the mouse, well, the show wouldn't have any interest anymore. 

On the screen, the mouse finds a way to slam the door in the cat face, who's dizzy. To illustrate it, stars and birds are rotating around his head.

You don't know why the mouse does all this, maybe to survive. The small animal found the comfort of a warm house with good cheese and doesn't want to leave. The cat, however, is forced to chase it all day. As his owners force him to. It's his role, as the house guard, to chase rodents. Otherwise, he'll be replaced. 

You have to be really damn fucked for you to start analyzing a stupid cartoon. 

Jeez, it's a cat chasing a mouse, it's silly, it's fun to watch. You don't think, just turn off your brain and have fun. Why can't you do just that ?

Sighing, you change channel, trying to find something worth watching. You end up watching the news, it keeping you grounded. It helps you think you're not the worst case, that there's always worse somewhere. It's deeply selfish, but hey, you can't do much about it. Your life is pretty much ruined at the moment. 

What's today's problem? Well this time, the subject is centered around climate change and its catastrophes.

"Global warming. Today, in Spain, alarming news. The national temperature has increased considerably by 46°F (5°C) since last year. The Spanish are revolted, the world is encountering a record in warmth. Their main claim, she reads her notes, "It's summer's weather when we're in autumn." She briefly gulps her saliva. "Indeed, the local heat reached 86°F (30°C) while 73°F (23°C) at night. IPCC's report is alarming, something has to change. Is the world government going to act ?" She quits her serious tone and changes the subject. "Local news; what's happening in Gotham today ?"

Ah, here you go. You turn up the volume. 

"Earlier in the main avenue today, several store signs were vandalized by a group of masked men, it is thought to be perpetrated by an illegal organization. It's a real raid that happened, terrorizing the passers-by and owners. The identity of the delinquent stays unfounded. We know that the police department is currently working on..."

You mute the TV. Vandalizing stores, now ? They didn't even steal anything, who does that ? On the screen, a replay of surveillance cameras showing masked men running, pushing people and only stopping to draw weird shapes on a few of the stores. It's bad, but not quite as bad as your case. Putting the sound back, you're perfectly timed with the conclusion of the event. 

"Where is Batman ? Has the vigilante abandoned our city ? We hope for his prompt return in time for him to apprehend the Joker." 

Batman, right. You forgot that man was even existing. While some wonder who is hiding behind the mask, you're left questioning yourself on which side is he. If he's with the cops, is he a good or bad man ? Police is part of the problem, certainly. But Batman sometimes helps people, although you never encountered him yourself. But is he really with the police ? 

Who is he working with ? And why is he what he is ?

"Whatever... You rub your eyes."

Why do you even keep thinking about that, it's not your problem anymore. You're leaving. Gotham has nothing left for you. Batman can do whatever he wants, for all you care. He doesn't know about your insignificant existence, why waste it thinking of him ? 

But are you really leaving this place, though ? 

Are you really about to leave your life and flee like a coward ? Yes, is the obvious answer. You could think about it, is the less obvious answer. 

Yes, your life is at stake. On the other hand, Sean could really be useful as you're still in danger as long as you stay in Gotham, he's a considerable ally in this story. And not only Sean but his family as well could help you. 

You know about his aunt. That woman is quite well known. A powerful gang chief. You could pay her to get escorted outside of Gotham. You're already indebted anyway, you have nothing to lose anymore. Moreover, nothing guarantees your safety once outside of Gotham. If the Joker is as feared as shown in the media, changing city won't be enough. Which is why you need to clear the problem directly from the root. 

Okay, you won't lose anything in going, right ? Maybe your life, but it's worth a try. You'll join Sean. Yes, you'll join him. 

When the time arrived, you couldn't shake that uneasy feeling taunting you all while preparing yourself. What if someone chases after you ? What if you get kidnapped ? You won't, of course you won't. Sean will be there when you arrive. He's dissuading enough. He's a big man. 

You found yourself before the gigantic mall before even being able to process it. It was crowded, people entering and getting out every second. For a moment, your eyes search for Sean in the rabble only to find no one. He's probably inside, it's safer. 

Tightly holding the hood stuck on your head, you stare intensely at whoever crosses your path, trying to gain enough courage to finally enter the building. 

It's scary to be wanted, the displeasing impression everyone's looking at you is suffocating. You could get killed, right now. Abducted, even. 

When the automated doors open, you're greeted by the cold air conditioning. It's autumn, why the hell would someone want to freeze to death ? 

Checking your phone, there's still no sign of Sean. He couldn't possibly stand you up, right ? He's the one who insisted for you to come. It wouldn't be logical. He's just late.

You can't really afford to be waiting in your situation, every second matters. You don't know what will happen. And, yeah, you're kind of starting to freak out. You don’t know where your wanted poster ended up. Maybe you’re already dead, and, shit, you're alone in such a vulnerable position. Fuck, why did you come ?

You’re trying to stay rational, thinking of every possibility as to why he’s not here. You nod your head to yourself, trying to ease your nerves. He'll come. You just need a little patience. He said he needed to prepare things beforehand, that's why he's late. He's late because he'll help you. 

You miss the mall, it's been long since you last came here, too preoccupied with your two jobs. You used to like watching people but quickly stopped. First, you once or twice made an awkwardly long eye contact with a man who then wanted to beat you up for provoking him, "like a pussy". Then, the second reason is that people are just... Mean. You'd look at a pretty woman only for her to spit on the ground. In the street is already disgusting enough, but the mall ! You'll look at a man hugging a woman, just to realize that they both don't know each other and that he's drunk out of his mind. 

Maybe you do need to get out of here, actually. 

Your phone still hasn't buzzed, you need to do something with your body or you’ll go crazy. It’s obvious staring daggers at your device every second won’t help. He's not here yet, you need to accept it and wait. You'll walk a little to not get noticed, your tensed and motionless body language is screaming suspicious and people are starting to side eye you. 

It’s only natural of your legs to start bringing you to the places you used to go to, only to realize that one of your favorite stores closed permanently. Of course, with the crisis. It’s not surprising. 

"Fucking morons..." Mutters a man to your left. Upon looking in his direction, you meet the owner of the voice standing on a stepladder, trying to energetically scrub with a sponge his store's sign. Key word being 'trying' as it's not successful. 

Right, earlier's vandals. 

He's cursing to himself, scrubbing progressively more aggressively the almost intact big black 'O' tagged on the sign mocking him. 

"Can I know who did that? asked your curiosity. 

-Fucking assholes, he answers without even looking your way, that's who did that. 

-What do they looked like ?

-No idea, he grumbles. They all had that stupid mask on. All white with some blue and red. No idea what that was supposed to be. Ask the other owners if you're so interested, but you're late. Journalists already left. 

Oh, right. He thinks you’re a journalist. 

-Thank you, have a nice day sir.

-Yeah yeah…”

You heard several stores were vandalized, where are the others ? Letting your legs wander, you get your answer a few meters/feet away. A sign is hanging by an electric thread. 

It’s a shoe store, but its signboard was now displaying a big black 'O'. You lift a brow, confused about its meaning. Usually, tag either insults or convey a message. Anyhow, there's a sense. Now though, you can't quite pinpoint it. O, what starts with an O. Optimism, oppression, obedient omelette ? It can be anything. Maybe it's not a letter, but a signature? 

Two stores away (you see it out of the corner of your eye) another of these is vandalized, this time, a bold 'B' was written. What word could this correspond to? B for Batman ? It's not a word, mostly a name. Baby, maybe. Bomb, bag, anything. Hell, it could even be badminton for all you know. 

Next letter is directly after the previous one, a 'S' hiding the dress logo the sign was exhibiting prior. The paint is dripping a little and one or two drops can be seen on the ground. 

"Those damn scum." a man grumbles, who you think might be the owner of the poor store. He crosses his arms on his chest, looking up disapprovingly. 

You ignore him, now thrilled by all of this. You want to discover all the tags. It's not like you have much better to do anyway. Sean still hasn't answered you. You know what to do to wait: find words for each letter. S makes you think of sabotage, skull and soup. 

You see the next letter from afar, this time, an "E" welcomes you. Though, this one was partially erased. You guess the owner found the right product. It's now possible to read the sign and enjoy the sweet sight of what seems to be a sex shop sign. Is it even legal ? There's kids coming into this mall. Anyway, a lot of words start with E; Electric, Ebola, education, eagle. 

You don't find the next letter right away, needing to walk a little to find it. But when you do, you're weirdly excited. It's just a bunch of words on some signboards, yet, it's fun. Like an orienteering race. But mostly because you don't get to have much fun today, and this being out of your quotidian, it's easy to be ecstatic.  

Further away, it's not one but two letters that greets you; two "S", entwined like snakes. Shit, is it a nazi kind of tag ? It looks like the police's symbol there was back then. If that’s the case, you don’t find this as exciting as before. Not a good thing to write. There's already so much chaos here, you pray nazis are not going to be added to it. You think of the word 'Swiss' for this letter.

Next letter is an 'I'. Investigation, investment, ice. A woman bypasses you, hitting your shoulder with her. You squeal out of surprise, the woman doesn't even notice you. What a shitty town. You check your phone again, making sure Sean didn't try to contact you. No reply. 

Walking ahead, the next vandalized store needs you to turn to the left to be seen, it's an 'O', again. But you don’t have the time to think of words that you already see the next letter. It’s a ‘N’. Night, Nemo (as in the movie) and nuisance. You already found words starting with ‘O’ anyway. It seems to be the last one as you walk and turn but no others appear. Disappointment lingers, sad it ended so soon. 

What is it, does it form a word at the end ? Like street art ? Maybe, a shame you already forgot all the previous letters. It was fun, though. You'd do it again, it's entertaining. Like a track game where you follow a path. Vibrations are bringing you back to reality, rushing to take it, you rotate to leave the place in order to find somewhere calmer. In your haste, you bump straight into someone. You freeze for a second, phone in hand.

They’re wearing a mask, a clown mask on their black hair. And a really ugly one. It’s shiny, like plastic and it surely is. Their eyes are the only thing you see through the holes. Whoever that is is staring right into your damn soul. Their eyes are empty, so empty you might think they’re on some kind of drug. The big red nose in the middle of their face is mocking you, laughing at you to be scared of something so ridiculous. Two small tufts of green hair are standing on each side of his head, the false bloody teeth drawn on the mask is the final touch that tells you to leave.

“Sorry.” you mumble, avoiding eye contact.

Your hands are holding your phone so tightly that fear strikes you that you could actually break the screen. The clown does not move when you walk past him, and you realize right then and there that they were well too close to you for it to be normal. You hate clowns, you hate them so much. All of this because of that stupid Joker. That person probably wasn’t even related to him, maybe he was one of the vandals. You don’t know, you don’t want to.

When you pick up Sean’s call, he apologizes for being late and plans an area for you to meet. You’re before the sex shope tagged by the “E” by the time Sean joins you. You’re not as convinced as before to destroy the problem from its root after the clown encounter. You’re not a hero, not a criminal. You’re nothing, you don’t have anything to prove to anybody. You should leave.

“You okay ? You look like you saw a ghost ? He laughs, but he’s not your friend so you don’t.

-So ? Got out much more coldly than you intended it to be.

-Jeez, you’re impatient. I’ll help you, I told you I would, right ?

You did, doesn’t mean you really will. You cross your arms on your chest, approaching him for him to hear you more clearly.

-Do you have any information ? Ways to get me out of here ? To resolve this ? Anything ?

He sighs, stepping back as if you’re the plague and looking elsewhere in the crowd. He seems conflicted, forehead creased by his worry.

-I can’t tell you now, walls have ears.

-Then why the fuck would you tell me to join you here ? If you’re so scared to be spied on, we could have continued this discussion at my place.

Your tension is building up. It’s fucking frustrating to talk with him. He starts teasing you with interesting information, then, he retreats and acts as if nothing happened and you’re just impatient. He told you to come here, he told you he’d help you.

-At least answer my questions, you plead, I don’t even know who… Who is the Joker ? Who is he exactly ? He physically tensed, his shoulders literally hunched forwards. What the hell ?

-Well, uh, it's complicated.

Damn, even that couldn’t be answered. Why are you still here ?

-What do you mean it's complicated ? Is he a terrorist ? A thief ? A gang leader ? A serial killer ? It's a simple question.

-He's a little bit of everything, truly.

Why does he always seem so nervous talking about him ?

-Sean for the love of God, he’s not here ! people are starting to look in your direction, but you couldn’t care less. You can calm down, he won’t kill you ! You gotta breathe a little, man. Aren’t you the one who literally told me he wasn’t after me ? It’s not the first time you’re lying to me and I’m starting to lose it. Why am I here ? Tell me, why are we fucking here if you’re not gonna help me ! Who is this man and what does he want ? Why does he want to kill me ! It’s…” a gunshot whistles in the air, cutting you in your sentence straight away, screams erupting from all sides.

Your body acts before you can think, throwing yourself on the ground. It’s hard to understand what’s going on, but in a way, you don’t try to. You get up quickly and lose yourself in the running and yelling crowd. Your paranoia is not helping, was this gunshot aimed at you ? Sean is somewhere in the mall, but it’s too late. You gave him a chance, he wasted it.

Another gunshot echoes, followed closely by the sound of a glass breaking. Your senses are overwhelmed; names, insults, orders are being yelled. Is the Joker here ? You need to get out of here, now. Bodies are pushed against yours, your clothes are being tugged on. But when you were about to reach the exit, someone harshly grabs you out of the crowd, pulling you aside. It’s panic in your head, survival instinct kicking in. You yank your arm out of the person’s hold but freeze upon seeing Sean threaten you with a gun.

“Sean, you start with a shaky voice, what the fuck ? his eyes are cold, you don’t recognize him. He looks at you as if you're nothing, as if you're no one.

-He’s here, he states, looking paranoidly to the sides. He’s… He’s going to kill me if I don’t bring you to him.

-Bring me to who, Sean ? But you fear you might already know.

-The Joker.

Of course he’d betray you. Who are you kidding ? You knew, you knew he would trap you. Your eyes can’t leave the sight of the gun barrel, following each of its movements. He’s shaking, you realize. Is he scared, hesitating ? Or motivated by a hatred so pure he can’t even control his own feelings ?

-Sean, you try nonetheless, he’ll kill you either way okay ? He’s a sadist, we can… you gulp, throat suddenly burning dry. We can leave together, we’ll leave the city and…

-You don’t understand, do you ? He’ll track you, he’ll track us down. And then, he’ll slaughter us like pigs. You hear me ? He’ll slaught…

-I get it ! I get it ! you scream, shutting your eyes in order to erase those images from your head.

How can you even change his mind ? You doubt he’d fold with some speech about your friendship. It’s not like you two were that close to be honest. Sure, you liked him but that changed since the beginning of the Joker catastrophe.

-He promised me money, he explained himself. As if you’d forgive him after hearing his justification. A lot of money. You can’t understand what it’s like to… when you see him lower his weapon, you interrupt him, drived by your anger.

-How can you be so stupid ? He was, he truly was an idiot for believing the Joker. You haven’t known that beast for long, but each time someone defined him, it was always along the lines of wicked, treacherous, vicious and ruthless. So yeah, he was stupid. Was your life worth something as insignificant as money ? Has he ever liked you ?

-Shut up ! I’m done living like a fucking tramp !

Tramp is a big word coming from him, daddy pays him everything ! You’re tired of his tantrums, he is a grown man, ten or fifteen years older than you and he’s acting like a child. Suffering is your quotidian as well, but you would’ve never betrayed him. In fact, that is your problem. You’re not a scumbag like him, that’s why you can’t stand him. You have no value similar to his, if he even has some. By what right does he think he can use you to get, what, a few dirty money ?

If you're going to die, at least you'll die telling him every resentment you had towards him.

-You think I am happy ?! Your life’s better than mine ! Fuck you Sean, you’re an asshole ! You’re a fucking asshole ! You’re the one that should die !

-Shut the fuck up you whore !

A burning pain sliced through you along a sharp sound, legs losing all strength and making you fall on the ground. Your ears are ringing and your breath is cut for a few long seconds. What happened ? Is the first question popping in your head, but the atrocious pain coursing through your leg answers you. Your hand touches your hurting limb, but retreats it instantly at the pain. So you look down.

Blood, there’s blood everywhere.

It’s yours. It’s… It’s your damn blood, you’re bleeding. You have a hole in your leg and it’s gushing out blood. He shot you. Fuck, oh God, oh God, you’re bleeding. You’re fucking bleeding and it hurt like hell. It hurt so damn bad, why, why did he do that ? Your eyes are stinging and soon, tears fall down your cheeks. Are you going to die ? Here ? With nothing accomplished ? Alone ? Shot by the only man you thought was your friend ?

-I believe alive was written on the contract.

You recognize that voice, you hear it in your nightmares.

-Joker ! I… She tried to run away, I had to immobilize her !

It’s weird, your body is exhausted, yet, the pain is keeping you well awake. Your head is heavy when you lay it on the dirty ground of the mall. Eyes trailing slowly to the two men talking. Finally, he’s here before you. He’s shown himself. Even if it’s only the second time you see him, you talked and heard about him so much these past hours it feels like you’ve been with him for months. And maybe you were, in a way. Sean walks past you, not glancing towards your drained body on the ground. He’s scared of him. He plays the big man with you, but he’s a little bitch.

How is Sean, a man built like a fridge, so terrified of someone so ridiculous as the Joker ?

Who is he ?

The pain in your leg makes it feel numb and at the same as alive as it never been. The Joker sighs exaggeratedly, he tilts his head to the side to look at you. Shivers shake your whole body. Is that it ? This is the man who’ll abduct you ? You’d rather get killed instantly.

-And right on Valentine’s day...” mumbles the Joker.

It’s not, it’s autumn. Valentine’s day is in February, in winter. From your position, police sirens are heard and red and blue lights are flashing, reflecting on the windows. The Joker takes out a gun out of his long purple jacket and aims it towards Sean.

“Please ! He yells. I-I did what you wanted ! She’s here, please don’t kill me ! I’m a hitman, I’ll work for you !

Is he, now ? He's barely a barman.

-Do I look like I'm searching for employees ? He asks, opening his arms and bending his hands for his palms to face the ceiling before looking around him for confirmation. Because I’m not.”

You're torn between relief and horror at the sight of Sean falling to the ground after another gunshot, bathing in his own blood. He did betray you, he brought you here, he brought this upon you, upon himself. But he’s dead. You wished him to, but now that he is you’re horrified.

It’s then that you realize that The Joker is surrounded by his masked goons. Probably the one who vandalized the store, now that you think about it. You walked right into his trap.

“Well ? What are you waiting for ? he asks almost comically. Bring the package to the car !

When several men surrounds you, you're left yelling and fighting to get out of their holds, in vain, of course. The blood gushing out of your hurting limb isn't helping much, anyway. You feel your strength slowly evaporate from you.

Shotguns echoes, but your ringing ears prevent you to precisely locate it. Soon, they throw you in the back of a car and close the door, leaving you in the dark.

Gotham killed you.  

[deliveryboysomewhatequaltoheaven]

The Macaque Problem

I would definitely say Macaque's character is an issue for the show. His redemption arc is not good, and it brings down the other characters and takes up their time and arcs.

When we first see him in S1 and 2, he is an old frenemy of Wukong's bitter over an unspecified falling out. He is angry and lashing out at MK and his friends, projecting this feud onto them. He claims MK didn't notice his friends were gone, but we see him trying to call Mei, and that the others were resentful, but we see tang looking upset being forced to attack MK. Seems like a clear enough villain concept with some room forward right? But S3 and 4 derail that.

Chronologically, we can talk about the Brotherhood, (which he was not a part of in JTTW, and he complained abt being left behind in S2 but here he was?? Eh) He claims that Wukong pushed ahead without thinking or listening and that's what got him trapped in the mountain. But what do we see before Wukong surrenders to the Jade Emperor?

The rest of the Brotherhood trapped by the Celestial Army. We don't see Wukong fight the Jade Emperor. He was an immortal shapeshifter, I have no doubt Wukong could have escaped. But he turned himself in to save his friends. Was he in a bad mood in the mountain? I mean, yeah, but Macaque doesn't seem to consider that he's free because Wukong is not.

We still don't know about the final falling out and Macaque's seeming death, though S5 implies that Macaque pushed the situation. Still, it's not good, because if they can't properly resolve it, than it's just going to remain between them and Macaque's grudge against Wukong can't be properly moved past, which hampers his arc.

But then S3 happens, and honestly I think Macaque's motives are dumb. Why is he trying to get in the way of them stopping LBD if he also wants to be free of her? It's a positive for you! But they also start trying to portray him as someone who 'calls Wukong out' because S3 and 4 really try to make Wukong out to be a jerk. He made mistakes but it was a desperate situation against the Lady Bone Demon. I love Mei and Pigsy but they also call him out when they said nothing about the Fourth Ring/visions.

'You will make things worse for MK when I personally attack and threaten him and his loved ones for my own gain' OK Macaque!

But the S3 special is the real kicker. Macaque apparently changes his mind and we don't know why. They show some mistrust at first until MK says he knows Macaque is not a bad guy deep down... but doing one or two helpful things after three seasons of stalking, threatening, and attacking the gang doesn't exactly convince me.

And then this bit from the S3 special finale:

Uh, how??? Wukong is right, Macaque was until very recently willing throw everyone under the bus so he could get away from LBD. It's pretty rich that he would call Wukong self centered. Whatever Wukong did was trying to stop her and protect MK from having to deal with it.

In the S4 special, they also have Macaque talk about Azure Lion, and again I'm not sure why we are listening to him on characters' morality

Says the guy who wrote a play about how 'Sun Wukong is a big old meany who hurt my precious little fee-fees' if I never see or hear the hero and warrior monologue again it will be too soon but I will say he at least seems to consider he might have been wrong, though they don't really dwell on it...

Even in S5, we get this bit.

Once again, Wukong is right!! After 3 seasons of attacking and harassing MK I don't think he really gets to give advice. Plus WUKONG WAS TRYING TO TALK TO MK ABOUT IT RIGHT BEFORE THIS! But MK was not doing well emotionally and Wukong was trying to be mindful and not push!

And honestly I think they all let Macaque off easy for the S3 events, he literally choked out Mei and threatened to kill her! (Sidenote: he can call MK and Tang by their names, but Mei was just 'the girl' throughout S3... urgh)

But when Wukong gets mad at him, Macaque says "I didn't do this!" Well you forced the gang to do something that you didn't know what the consequences of would be! But Tang intervenes saying he did it, even though he awkwardly admits Macaque forced him but that he felt he should because of the golden cicada. Macaque later decides to leave the situation he forced. He later does help some, but doesn't really get held accountable for his part in everything.

But I guess it's fine bc at the end of the special MK gives him this drawing. This is actually kind of really upsetting and again makes little sense considering how much he and Mei care about other otherwise. But nah Macaque is cool now it's fine...

And Ao Guang! This is a tougher one, but in S5 they had Macaque let himself get sent to the Pagoda to buy others time... well I just say that's karma!

And Macaque comes back, of course, but we never hear more about Ao Guang. Even when they send the power of the Stones out, we do in fact see the East Sea Palace and the attendant, but not him, so his fate is unclear.

So yeah, overall, I think he was forgiven too fast, the root issue of his fight with Wukong unaddressed, and he takes up time from the others characters.

[mattsgirlie]

never existed part 2- chris sturniolo x fem! reader

warnings: mentions of cheating, soft dom!chris, angst, mentions of drinking and smut.

word count: 3000 (sorry)

My relationship with Matt was honestly far better than it was two months ago, after i completely ended things with Chris, Matt and I became official and got a chance to get it right.

That didn't stop Chris from staring at us across the room with a pathetic entitled attitude like he knew something we didn't every time he was around, which was barely since he was jumping from party to party every night.

Matt didn't quite understood why his brother became so constantly bitter and mad towards everyone, especially the two of us but thought he was just going through a phase.

Nick even shared his theory about Chris being in love with someone and i laughed, "As if he was capable of that" was my answer.

Matt is out tonight and i just chose to stay home with Nick watching movies. Nick is my best friend since middle school and hiding from him what happened between me and Chris made me almost lose it.

"I know it was before you and Matt became official but it doesn't make it less fucked up girl. I love you and i'm sorry but i can't back you up on this one, you gotta tell Matt"

Nick said from the other side of the couch and i nodded in agreement knowing he was fully right.

"I know but i was- Well i am so scared, me and Matt are finally working out....but yeah i have to tell him, i can't base our relationship on a lie"

"What about Chris?"

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Do you feel something for him or was it just casual?" He asked trying to understand the full picture and i sigh heavily.

"I can't say i haven't thought about it but Chris was always more of a friend with benefits type of thing, he is not the guy to catch feelings i guess"

"I don't know about that...i always saw the way he looked at you and talked about you, and now that you told me this it kinda makes sense with this attitude problems" Nick said frankly, concerned about his younger brother.

"Nah, he probably is just mad he lost a fuck buddy that's all..." I try my best to brush it off but his words actually got me thinking

He simply agreed and we switched topics as he noticed i was uncomfortable, plus we had a lot of catching up to do. We decided to put on classic disney movies and stay up all night like old times.

Already 2 movies in my phone rings with the name "Christopher" bright on the screen and it took me a minute thinking if i should even read it after almost three months without us having a proper conversation.

Christopher: my room rn

Christopher: its urgent

Christopher: i wouldnt text you if it wasnt and yk it

My hands are shaking at this point as i almost immediately stand up, i know he is right he would never text me if it wasn't important.

"Be right back, bathroom" I mumbled in a hurry, not even waiting for Nick to say anything back as i make my way up to Chris' room.

I knock two times and get no answer back, i stand there in silence for a while until i hear him mumbling a "Come in".

I walk in to see Chris on the floor with his back leaning on the foot of the bed, the lights were all off except for the LED in purple.

Chris had some empty bottles badly hidden under the bed and he looked half drunk, his phone was tossed on the carpet with our chat opened.

He looked deadened, his expression was dull as i ran to him "Chris what the fuck happened??"

"You happened" was what he answered almost immediately whilst i stood there astonished "What is that even supposed to mean?"

He looked up at me and i swallowed a lump of air, he didn't even say a word.

"You called me here, what did you want?" i insisted as i sat next to him still apprehensive and confused

"I wanted to tell you something but first i gotta ask you a question, after that you can go back to pretending i never existed or whatever"

His voice was raspy and bitter, not like usually because this time i could tell he was truly hurt "You know it's not that simple, Chris"

I say feeling the guilt wash me over "Yeah, your relationship is great you don't need me anymore, i see it pretty simply actually" He adjusted his posture still sounding mad.

"Ask your question, Christopher" I look him in the eyes getting equally angry trying to find a way out of that topic.

"Why'd you chose him?"

I was stunned for a second but answered the first thing that came to mind "You never said choosing you was an option"

Chris looks at me in genuine surprise like he didn't expect that to be my answer, carefully thinking about his next words.

"So would you? If you thought it was an option?" He asked low, almost shyly which surprised me to say the least as i grew just as angry as him with his question about an impossible case scenario.

"Don't put me in this position Chris you know it's fucking complicated. I'm with Matt now and we are finally making it work and i don't wanna-"

"He doesn't deserve you" he cuts me mid sentence growing angrier and impatient.

"What do you know about deserving? You always treated me like i was your fuck toy and when i get the chance to be happy for once you come back with this"

"You were my fuck toy? Are you actually being serious right now? If anything you would only text me when you wanted to fuck away all the shit he put you through, not the other way around"

At this point Nick could probably hear us shouting but that wasn't our main concern as i felt my face go red considering his words.

"When i first came into this room i was looking for a friend that i really saw in you, one thing lead to another and i'm so sorry it happend that way but now i am truly happy why can't you just fucking accept that??!"

"It's not a matter of accepting is just that-"

"What Chris? Just say it already!"

"He is cheating on you" He half shouted again looking down to his lap and to me as he kept going "He has been for a long time now and he probably is as we speak"

I had no words. When i used to go to Chris for a casual thing i knew with Matt i wasn't the only one either just the main, although we fought a lot and had disagreements he seemed genuine when he asked me to be his real girlfriend two months ago and promised everything would be different.

"Does he know about me and you?" I said in an indescribable tone and Chris looked up again checking for any signs of reaction "I don't think so"

"And i felt fucking guilty for not telling him while he had a side bitch all along" I laughed in disbelief.

I went under his bed getting a full bottle and opening it without warning "What the fuck are you doing??"

"How long did you know about that?" I ask back, drinking straight from the bottle as he looked at me with concern then grabbed his phone going through his camere roll.

"Since last night for sure but i've been suspecting for a while. We went out together and he started making out with this girl that said she was his 'close friend' out of nowhere, i even had to uber home"

He shows me a photo where she is sitting on his lap in some photobooth at a random party.

"He thought i was too drunk to notice but they seem to go a long way, i figured you should know" He sounds calmer now, even subtly sweet "Hey go easy with that" He warns about the drink.

"Stop acting like you care" I chuckle ironically whilst standing up and he follows me "If i didn't care about you i wouldn't even have told you about this, have you thought about that?"

"If i didn't care about you i wouldn't have fought with my own brother for being a shitty boyfriend to you today" He walked towards me and i felt my limbs go numb.

"I wouldn't have you in my room when you guys would fight although i was only hurting my own feelings in return because i loved you so damn much since then"

Our faces are now inches apart, his eyes are pitch black and i couldn't breathe for a second "Did you just say you loved me?"

He goes silent again, he breaths heavily starting to walk away and i follow.

"Don't turn your fucking back on me Christopher i asked you a question, did you mean it?"

"Yeah i did but does it change shit?" He turns back around and i see his eyes getting teary "I love you and it's fucking hard cause i never loved anyone before and you don't love me back how am i supposed to feel?"

This is the most serious he has ever sound in his life and it hurts me to see how genuine his feelings are.

"But you always acted like it was no big deal when we were together. Chris, we barely even talked once we started to mess things up" I realized my bad wording once i saw him trying to hide his tears starring down the carpet.

"So that's all i was to you? Just a fucking slip huh?" his voice cracked and he turned back in a deep breath.

"Chris...listen to me" I get closer, facing him as i place my hands on his shoulder.

"Theres too much going on right now but i need you to understand that you meant- ...you mean a lot to me, you were always there for me since middle school and i always loved and admired you"

We are both tearing at this point and i see his expression softening.

"You were never just a slip, you're one of my favorite persons and i don't know what i would've done if Matt didn't introduce me to you and Nick back then and God i just-" He wipes my tears away delicately.

"You're not gonna pull the 'i wish i met you earlier' shit are you?" He jokes and i sigh in relief since this is the nicest we have been to each other in a long time.

"Im not the girl for this and you know it" i joke back and he smiles slightly "I just wish this whole thing wasn't so fucked up"

"Tell me about it, has been the main thing in my mind since the last time you were here" Chris looks at the bed then at me as if he was reminiscing.

"I missed you a lot when i left but it really thought it was for the best....if i knew this was how it would end i-"

"You would stay?" He asked seriously.

I take a minute to consider my answer, my brain still trying to sink in all the information.

"Yes....i would've stayed" We are now dangerously close, my hands around his shoulders and his are cupping my cheeks as our noses almost brush and i can feel his breath.

"So stay now" He holds me closer by my waist and i gasp at his sudden move "Be mine now, please"

And with that our faces gravitate towards each other's like it was meant to be, noses brushing and lips connected passionately.

Right here it feels so right for both of our dizzy broken hearts as we finally found the comfort we both so seeked for in others.

We sloppy moved towards the bed never breaking the kiss and soon i was on top of him while grabbing his hair.

"Do you want me to be all yours?" I asked straddling him as my hands moved to cup his cheeks.

"Thats all i need, please i want all of you" He pleaded holding my hips and i was surprised to see the change in his demeanor but that didn't mean i was fully enjoying it.

We kiss again this time more eagerly whilst our clothed hips rock against each other seeking friction "You have me, baby"

And with that Chris possessivly groans, he then trailed kisses down my neck and collarbone "I never got a chance to mark you up, now i can show everyone that you're mine, no one elses"

He explained while marking that one sweet spot which causes me to moan. My hands find their way under his shirt, my fingernails now scratching his back just as territorial as Chris and he chuckles.

"We're re such a lost cause" he mumbles as he moves to take off both our shirts.

"We so are" i chuckle getting up to remove the sweatpants i had on and he smiles.

"What? theres nothing here you haven't seen before" i joke taunting he just grabs my hips pulling me towards him.

"Its 'cause i know i will be the only one seeing this from now on"

He looks up at me as im still standing, pressing a gentle kiss on my lower stomach going down my thighs causing me to chuckle.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Chris affirmed almost immediately as his hands trailed up to remove my panties, kissing and worshiping my whole body as he did so.

It was different then any other time we had sex. It was intimate, not just two bodies but actual feelings involved still just as eager.

"What d'you want me to do princess? want me to kiss you here huh?" he kissed my inner thigh and my hands move to grab his hair as i whimpered.

"Want me to eat you out? make you cum in my tongue over and over again?" And he started doing so causing me to gasp.

"Yes... Chris! doing so good for me hm" He looks up at me lustfully flicking his tongue.

"So fucking wet for me...you have no idea how much i missed this." He groans between my legs and i whine.

"I-mhpm...I do! I missed this too fuck i missed the way you make me feel" I confess and he stops his movements suddenly getting up to kiss me again.

"Now you have me, baby and i'm not about to let you go ever again" He moves us over to the bed again, this time removing his sweatpants and underwear.

Stroking himself a feel times he hums over me "Ready?" He asked positioning between my legs.

"Wait! can you grab your phone for me baby?" I ask and he frowns confused but does it anyway handing it to me unlocked.

"Im ready now love" I smile devilishly and he does the same as he starts to push his dick inside me in deep slow thrusts, the room filled up with our moans as i sloppy try to find a specific number on his phone.

"Fuck....Chris! Right there, oh my god! Faster please please" I plea as i feel he hit the right spot clenching around him i feel him throb.

"Baby i wont last longer if you keep saying my n-name and tightening around me like that" He tilts his head back but quickly looks back at me when he hears his phone ringing.

"Don't worry about it, just lay on your back, can you do that for me?" I say before he can even think of an answer and we switch positions, me being now on top of him, sinking down my hips.

"Im going to ride you and all you have to do is be as loud as you can okay?" I start bouncing up and down and he just nods with his eyes shut feeling the pleasure.

"Matt! Finally...mhp W-where are you baby?" I say with difficulty due to my moves and I see Chris confused whisper shouts a 'what are you doing?!' and i put it on speaker.

"Im...out with friends like i told you, wait why are you calling from Chris's phone?" He asked confused and i just roll my eyes passing the phone to Chris, winking

"Hm...hey bro s-she fuck! she is busy right now but i can answer that one" He moans getting the message as i go faster and faster.

"What the fuck are you two doing? Give her the phone i wanna talk to my girlfriend" Matt says impatiently on the other side understanding what is going on

Chris presses a finger on my clit rubbing it which makes me shout his name "Your ex girlfriend is getting the treatment she deserves Matthew can you believe it? I'm so deep inside her right now she's never going back to you again, tell him baby"

He's enjoying it just as much as i am, gladly being louder as i feel my orgasm approach taking the phone back "Im s-so sorry for your side bitch...she will never get to cum like im about to right now" i hear him yelling that he's coming back home and with that i hang up.

Chris is half sitting to get support to thrust up now meeting my motions, he gives special attention to my boobs making me squeeze him inside me and our orgasms hit almost at the same time

His mouth hovered over my neck going to my earlobe were we bites and whispers.

"Such exhibitionists aren't we?"

We laughed, i lie on top of him whilst he brushed his fingers over my hair. After a while he carries me to his bathroom and clean us up.

Once we are back at his bed he hands me one of his favorite shirts and holds me tight, his arm pulling me closer.

"That's the first time im actually staying in" I comment smiling at our fingers intertwined.

"Get used to it 'cause you're never leaving"

[olderthannetfic]

My experiences with DreamWidth fandom spaces are the same as my experiences with DreamWidth RP: a lot of people talk about wanting more people to post, missing the old days, and disliking fandom puritanism, but don't interact with others much and, when someone disagrees with them, decide that this is the end of the world. I've seen people in DWRP angry at other people for disagreements from up to 12 years ago. I've seen people in DW fandom spaces vaguepost about specific people they're mad at for disagreeing with them from up to 8 years ago. Neither reaction makes me go, "Ah, yes, this is where I want to hang out", because I just don't fucking care. When someone confronts me about traumatizing them because I said I didn't find X character as engaging as Y or I think it's possible Character A is bi and not gay/lesbian default and it's been 5 years, my first thought is almost always, "I'm sorry, who?" and not, "OMG I feel so bad let me apologize for this!" Not apologizing doesn't go over well, so it's off to gossip to their friends in DMs and on other sites about how someone else totally said this, that and the other thing too and it was super mean.

IDK, maybe I'm just old (I did just turn 30) but I look at this kind of drama and all I can think is, "I don't care and I don't have the energy to engage with this." It doesn't help that I meet people on DW who are self-identified fandom olds (usually that means they're 40-ish) who complain about yaoi fangirls/"fujoshits" and call female characters who've had multiple sexual partners "cockhops" and assume anyone writing f/f is a "neckbeard". This is still less sensitive than antis are, but there's still a lot of moralizing things you don't like and reading into what someone writes in order to judge them as a person.

Between that and the very low level of overall engagement it kind of feels not worth it? I'm not seeing what the benefit is. Making fandom friends is fairly difficult on DW and when you do, losing them is as easy as not having seen something, not liking a pairing or not caring about something (contentious canons, especially). I'm sure someone's having a great time but to me it's sort of like shouting into the void, except sometimes the void calls you a fujoshit neckbeard and never elaborates on how that'd work.

--

DW's moment as a potential community hub has come and gone, in my opinion. Now, it's just the people who can't hack it on other platforms plus some legacy uses that DW is good for that other sites aren't.

I did make more of an effort to make fetch happen in the past, but it became apparent that a lot of the people who are primarily on DW are not people I want to make that effort for. I've got a couple of old friends still hanging out there because they like very text-based internet stuff, and good for them, but overall... yeah... the vibe just isn't that great a lot of the time.

I used to advocate getting a DW just to have a place to link your other social media in case your tumblr is suddenly deleted due to mysterious tumblr enforcement shenanigans... but honestly, I could probably use my AO3 profile for that just as well.

I'm glad DW is still around, and I hope it continues to be. I don't regret my seed account. But it's just not something I use actively in the 2020s.

[f4iry-bell]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄 | 6

pairing: jameson hawthorne x reader

summary:who would have guessed taking an unwanted picture of her could lead to that tense moment? more than that, who would have thought it would get his attention to make a deal? and guys like him drain a person inside out when are interested in you.

series taglist: @clarissaweasley-10 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @emelia07 @elysianwayy77 @lyra-kane @bewitchingkisses @zenikswaffleshop @off-to-the-r4ces @jamcarven

permanent taglist: @clarissaweasley-10 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @emelia07 @elysianwayy77 @cassie6392

warning: angsty!!!!

word count: 1.7k

a/n: guys, i actually completed a series wow!!?!?!? FINAL PART!! thank so much to everyone who read this<33 and I'm sorry 😈

part 5 | masterlist | series masterlist

Two weeks have gone since the gala, two weeks of utter Jameson Winchester Hawthorne type madness. One the first week she thought she could handle this, handle him, handle being something to him. But in the second week the pain just kept getting worse, everytime he reminded her that she's nothing more than a friend, everytime he gets too close like he's about to kiss her but withdraws, everytime he designs a game just for her, like she means something to him. It was hurting her a lot but she ignored it. Ignored the heavy pain that lingered in her chest, refusing to go.

“Come on, you know you want to.” Jameson tried to persuade her into riding a giant wheel. They were currently at an amusement park, they only came because of the famous rollercoaster that was there.

“I don't know, I was just in the rollercoaster. Plus, the giant wheel is well giant. Way too high.” She ate her chips from the packet of chips she was holding as they stood near the crowded wheel.

“There is no such thing as too high.” He stepped in front of her, then took one of her free hands that wasn't holding the packet of chips in his. An act he picked up recently, to take her hand in his and give a little squeeze.

It was like magic every time, everytime he touched her she would fall into his tricks. “Fine.”

After almost half an hour of waiting they managed to get in front of the queue for the wheel. Jameson’s hand was on the small of her back guiding her inside. They both took their seats opposite to each other and the door closed. Slowly they went up, and up.

Surprisingly it was not as scary as she thought it would be, though the sight of her hand squeezing Jameson’s as they went up told another story. Right when they were on the top, she looked down, and smiled. “It's so beautiful.”

“It is.” Jameson wasn't staring at the view, instead he was drowning himself in her smile. He tugged his hand, making her attention turn to him.

“I really want to kiss you right now. Although it would be super cliché.” He said, and meant it.

She hated it when he said something like this, knowing it would lead nowhere.

“Yeah, well. True. About the cliché part.” She shrugged.

He didn't miss her lips, instead he brought her hand to his mouth, and kissed the back of her palm. Her stomach was filled with butterflies as he did it, throughout he did not break eye contact.

Neither of them said anything until they got down. Jameson was the one who broke the silence but he spoke like he didn't just tell her that he wanted to kiss her, and gave a kiss on her hand. It was astonishing how he could switch like that. But it's just Jameson.

_

She couldn't believe her eyes, she was holding her now grades paper, she got a very low grade, something she has never gotten. It was completely her fault because of her lack of study time. It wasn't just this class, she was almost failing another one. And what's worse was that one of her professors had a private chat about it, it made her feel horrible.

She knew the cause of this. But she can't help seeking his company again. She doesn't really go to his place off campus often. But today she just needed his company, his presence, just him. However he would like to be with her, a friend, or more, or whatever he is willing to give.

She knocked on his door, she was expecting a familiar pair of green eyes but didn't find them when the door was opened. It was one of his stupid friends.

“Is Jameson here?” She asked.

“Yeah, inside.” He pointed at his room.

She walked in without knocking. “Jameson, I had a really bad day—”

She really should have knocked, if not for his privacy at least for the sake of her own heart.

She found him on the bed, clothed. With another girl on top of him, clothed. At least they were clothed.

She blinked twice before gathering herself together. “I- I'm sorry.”

She walked out immediately. She didn't expect him to follow her outside. He called out her name but she just kept walking further outside his apartment. But with his fortunate long legs he caught up with her, he gently grabbed her arm then turned her around.

“Are you okay? What happened? Tell me.” He asked, with worry in his eyes. Like she means something important to him. Like it hurted him to see her pain. She was hurting more now after what she just saw, but she has no claim over him.

“Nothing. I'll let you get back.” She tried to get out of his grip but it was firm, and held her close to him.

“No. You said you had a bad day. What happened?” He cupped her cheeks to which she reacted by pushing him away slightly, just enough to put some distance between them.

“I did not. You heard it wrong.”

“I did not.”

“How would you know? You were busy sucking that girl's face off.”

She didn't mean for it to come out this harsh.

“I noticed you as soon as you entered. I always do. You are the first person I look in the room, I always hear you.” He said it with such sincerity.

“Don't. Don't say things like that to me.”

“I mean it.”

“Then why would you kiss another girl?”Her face dropping, her eyes betraying her as they started to blur her sight with tears. She broke down.

“I thought we both knew we're better this way, I thought you knew. And you're okay with it.”

“No! I thought I was okay with it, being just something to you. But I can't anymore, okay? I'm failing my classes because I can't help but spend time with you. And what do I get in return? Nothing but hurting!” She wiped her tears with both hands.

“Please don't cry, not because of me. I can't give you more, okay? It's not fair.”

“How is it not? You won't even kiss me after telling me I'm special or something shit but go kiss a random girl. Am I not enough for you? Why?!” She was getting a bit aggressive with her tone. She was done with all of this.

“You are special but I cannot give you more, it's not fair to you to kiss you when I can't give you more. If I kiss you it'll get real, and I would have to take a step. Which I cannot.” He let it all out too. This is the most he has ever said about how he feels to her, because he knows where this is going.

“Cannot or will not?”

He looked down. “I'm not a relationship person, I'll screw up. I'm already screwing it up, and I'll drag you along. Hell, I already have, you're failing your classes because of me. I'm so sorry. Okay, I'll try not to make you bunk classes with me anymore.”

She looked at him baffled. “Anymore? Jameson, no! I can't do this.”

He swallowed hard. “I won't say things that I'm not supposed to say.” He tried negotiating. He can't lose her.

“Your presence is more than enough to stab my heart. I can't do this Jameson, not anymore. Because it hurts to be just something to you, I thought it would be worse to be nothing but no. Something to you is worse.”

“I don't want to lose you.” He took a step forward to which she immediately stepped back.

She looked down for a moment, and then spoke. “I want either all in or nothing. Tomorrow at 5pm, be there.” She needn't have to tell him where. He knows. “I'll wait for an hour. If you don't come I'll assume you want to do nothing with me. If you do…”

She just nodded, and then left before he could stop her.

_

She waited for one and a half an hour near their spot. She wanted to leave so badly, but something asked her to stay. It was false hope. She is going to end up hurting more. Everytime a car passed through she hoped it was him. But he never came.

Like a miracle, she thought of waiting for another two minutes. And just like that his car stopped in front of hers.

The weight was slowly lifting, hopes of them together were coming back, her heart beating faster than it should. But the look on his face said a different story.

“I didn't come here to make us exclusive.” He said, with his hands inside his pocket. The hope she held on dropped, and shattered like glass.

“Then why did you come?”

“To give you an explanation. Before we part ways, I want you to know that…I really like you. Hell, it could be even more than regular likeness. But I can't be the man for you, or for anyone. I'm a screw up. you don't deserve me—”

“Stop with the ‘it's not you, it's me’ I don't want that.”

“But it is true. I was never supposed to fall for you. I was never supposed to feel this strongly for you, it's selfish of me to feel this way, and it was selfish of me to say things that led you here. But you should know that I meant every single word. You deserve someone who is ready, who isn't messed up. Someone who could give you everything.”

“Funny, I only wanted whatever you had to offer. Even if it was so little.”

“Hate me for this, but don't think I ever lied to you.”

The silence passed, he slowly took his right hand out of his pocket, his hands into a fist. He stepped closer to her to reveal what's in his hand.

It was a small box. But she knows it's not just a regular box, it's a mini puzzle. Something is probably in it.

“Please take it. Please.” He was so raw.

She took it from him, her fingertips brushing his palm.

“I'm sorry.” He said. And meant it.

“Me too.”

[https-harlow]

Fight The Feeling Pregnancy Announcement Insta AU

A/N- Thank you to @jackharloww for helping me with some of the fan comments!

Warnings- Some hate comments

Liked by Jackharlow, Urbanwyatt, Claybornharlow, Y/Nfan14, and 4,874,927 others

Yourusername Life lately with my plus one ❤️

Jackharlow Is that my shirt in the last photo 🤨

Yourusername Maybe 🫣

Jackharlow I've been looking for it for months

Yourusername It ended up in my suitcase at some point, and I may have never returned it

Jackharlow I should have known you had it, you do always steal my clothes

Yourusername I'm giving you a baby, the least you can do is let me steal a t-shirt

Jackharlow I'm pretty sure you have more of my clothes then I do

Yourusername So dramatic, I tried to give them all back, but I forgot some

Jackharlow I'm kidding, kind of, but you can have as many of my t-shirts as you want

Yourusername You're going to regret saying that when that's all I fit into

Jackharlow yeah, you're probably right

Claybornharlow I'm so glad you're having a baby with my brother, now you have no choice but to be in my life forever.

Yourusername Love you, you're stuck with me forever now

Claybornharlow Love you too, can't wait to annoy Jack with you forever

Urbanwyatt Can't wait for my best friend to have my new best friend.

Jackfan86 I love when Urban says Jack is his best friend

Urbanwyatt I'm not talking about Jack, I'm talking about Y/N

Jackharlow WHAT when did she become your best friend, this is news to me

Urbanwyatt The day I met Y/N obviously

Yourusername I stole the place of his best friend, I'm surprised you just realized it 🙄

Jackharlow Oh I realized it awhile ago I just thought we were both his best friend, I didn't realize I lost the title completely

Urbanwyatt Well, you can't have two best friends

Jackharlow Y/N, would you like to comment on this

Yourusername I can't tell Urban who his best friend is 🤷‍♀️

Yourusername You've held that title for years, you can give it up for a little while

Jackharlow Funny how Urban just texted me saying, don't worry, you're still my best friend, I just can't tell her that because she'll cry

Yourusername Urban just texted me saying you'll always be my best friend, Jack's never getting that title back

Jackharlow Urban, care to explain yourself?

Urbanwyatt 👨‍🦯

Yourusername Hey, I don't cry that much

Jackharlow You cried over donuts this morning

Yourusername …No comment

Yourusername Do I really cry that much?

Urbanwyatt No, you don’t

Jackharlow No comment

Yourusername Hey you can’t use my own response against me

Jackharlow But I did.

Jackharlow Does this mean I’m moving down to best friend #3?

Urbanwyatt 👨‍🦯

Jackfan38 Y/N is really giving model vibes in the first photo

Y/Nfan43 She is a model...

Y/Nfan10 AHH I'm so excited!!

Y/Nfan97 Fuck the person who posted that video, you shouldn't have had to announce anything unless you we're ready

Jackfan92 THIS!!

Jackfan32 Stay away from him!

Jackfan64 If she makes Jack happy, then we should be happy for him

Jackfan21 Uh, I think it's too late for that

Jackfan85 The couple I never knew I needed

Y/Nfan53 They are so cute

Y/Nfan09 Remember a couple months ago when Y/N was talking about the last time she had her heart broken and she looked so upset talking about how her ex cheated on her? I'm so glad she has Jack to make her happy again after that.

Jackfan30 Aww I'm so glad they make each other happy now

Jackfan39 Damn, Jack bagged her?? I thought I'd be mad when he got a girlfriend, but I'm kind of proud not going to lie

Y/NhaterJackfan428 Wait, they've haven't even been together for that long and she's already having his baby? Are we sure it's his?

Jackharlow We might not have been together that long, but Y/N makes me the happiest that I've ever been. I don't want any of my fans sending hate or saying rude things about Y/N, because if you were truly my fan and supported me, you would be able to see that. None of you know Y/N how I know Y/N and she is the sweetest and kindest person I know. Everyone who knows her would agree with me. She doesn't deserve any type of hate from anyone, especially someone who claims to be my fan.

Y/NhaterJackfan428 Just trying to look out for you

Jackharlow I can look out for myself

Liked by Yourusername, Urbanwyatt, Cozane, Jackfan48, Y/Nfan80, and 5,327,318 others

JackHarlow There's truly not enough words in the world for me to accurately tell you how much I love you. Thank you for always being by my side. I'm going to show you how grateful I am for you every single day.

Yourusername 🥹

Yourusername You're going to make me cry

Jackharlow I thought you didn't cry that much 🤔

Yourusername I cry when someone says something sweet to me

Jackharlow Well I love you, even if you cry a lot

Yourusername You just had to fuck it up with the last part of that 🙄

Yourusername But I love you too I guess

Jackharlow I'll take what I can get after my comment 🫣

Urbanwyatt So, I'm the godfather right?

Claybornharlow Uhh, no I'm going to be the godfather

Urbanwyatt Who's Y/N's best friend? She's going to pick me to be the godfather

Claybornharlow Who's Jack's brother? By DNA. I think I get godfather duties by default

Urbanwyatt You can have godfather duties but I get the title

Yourusername Who says we're going to pick either you?

Urbanwyatt Well who else are you going to pick?

Yourusername Well neither of you if you keep fighting over it

Jackharlow We haven't even thought about it yet

Claybornharlow On my way to bribe Y/N so she picks me, because lets be honest, who ever she picks Jack will agree too

Urbanwyatt 🙄

Y/Nfan193 Not Clay getting a love you but on Y/N's post but Jack gets a love you I guess 😂

Yourusername They share the spot of my favorite Harlow sibling sometimes, plus Clay brought me a milkshake, Jack just said I cry a lot

Urbanwyatt you can't bribe her with a milkshake to be the babies godfather

Clayborharlow I was just being nice

Urbanwyatt sure, I don't believe you

Jackharlow 🙄

Jackharlow Actually, keep this fight going, the less 3am trips I have to do to buy snacks the better

Jackfan29 Aww 🥹 I've noticed how happy Jack has been recently, now we know why, I thought it was just because of Y/N

Jack390 Well, its over for me now, I lost my shot 😭

JackhaterandY/Nfan4 I can't believe they are actually together, like why would Y/N settle for Jack.

JackandY/Nfan283 AHHH Can I trade places with an unborn baby 😭 I want Jack as a dad and Y/N as a mom 😭

Y/Nfan302 Literally 😭

Y/Nfan20 I wasn't prepared for this 😭😭

Jackfan3 My daddy is becoming a daddy 🤭

Y/Nfan028 I never knew I could be jealous of a person who isn't even born yet

Jackfan938 Jack really meant it when he said he wanted 8 daughters

Y/Nfan19 Wait where did you see the babies a girl??

Jackfan938 they haven't said yet, but I hope the babies a girl

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree

[jamiesfootball]

❔

❔Choose a random WIP and talk about it.

So I've got this random wip that's been sitting in my drafts that is basically:

Roy and Jamie stick around after the gala talking to each other and having a surprisingly great time about it

'Give him an inch and he'll act like it's been three weeks' Jamie then shows up the next day assuming him and Roy are like. Best friends

'Takes 5 to 6 months to process things' Roy Kent is like fuck no. You're an awful person.

Jamie: *shocked pikachu face*

Roy: *does not want to feel bad about it* *does not want to feel bad about it* *the prick did it to himself* ........ *FEELS BAD*

Roy: be less of a dick and then we'll talk

Jamie: .......how much less of a dick?

Roy: what?

Jamie: like, 20% less?

Roy: No.

Jamie: 30%?

Roy: At least 90% less of a dick than your current levels of dickishness

Jamie: Can't go that high, I've got an image to protect. 75%

Roy: 80.

Jamie: Deal. FIFA at my place?

Roy: the fuck did I just agree to

What takes place after that is a slapstick level of antics as Jamie attempts (fails) (succeeds while failing?) to be exactly 80% nicer, which to him means that for every 4 '''nice''' things he does, he gets to cash in 1 free coupon to be a dick and Roy can't get mad at him for it. He's turned being nice into a points system.

"At least the good outweighs the bad?" Ted suggests when Roy tells him, which tells Roy that Ted isn't taking this seriously.

And the nice things he does? Somewhere between 'confused but he's got the spirit' and 'I guess that technically counts but I'm not happy with it.'

Nate - Compliments his hair every time he sees him. “Well I’m talking up, yeah? So his perceived value will seem higher than it actually is. Technically this should count as two since he's clearly insecure about it - I mean, why else would he keep dying it all the time. He isn't fooling anyone.”

[Isaac is now convinced Jamie is gay and in love with Nate. Colin is dying inside because when he tries to correct Isaac, Isaac acts like Colin is being homophobic. Jamie has no idea. Nate's self-esteem grows exponentially fast.]

Sam - Steps over him. Gets yelled at by Roy for not checking on his teammate. Points out Sam isn't actually hurt. Roy tells him it's still his job to back Sam up. Jamie backs Sam up by going at the guy who tackled him and gets yellow carded off the field.

This is not what Ted intended, but it's not...not the kind of behavior he wants from Jamie?

The entire team is just confused. Roy doesn't know how this became his problem.

Jamie is... confused for other reasons. Because he only did all this stuff, yeah, because there's this stupid bit inside him that he can't seem to shut up that's always been hurt that Roy Kent seems to hate him. And now Roy seems to (mostly) like (tolerate) him, and it's a little terrifying how fucking starved he is for that now. Not just from Roy either. Somewhere along the lines the other players on the team have warmed up to him too, and Ted looks pleased with him lately, and it all just way to much positive attention and validation for someone who's been starved for it for so long.

To his horror, the whole being nice thing is becoming a reflex. He hardly notices now when he tosses out a compliment that Nate's looking sharp today. He cashes in a point to tell Sam his passing was shit, then follows it up with a 'but you're looking faster out there' so he can start working up to the next point. Sam smiles at him like he never ever said the first part.

Sometimes Jamie catches himself being nicer and realizes he forgot to count it towards his points at all.

The more confused Jamie gets, the more concerned Roy finds himself about this whole weird situation. Frustratingly, he finds he actually likes Jamie. When he's not going out of his way to be a pain in the ass, Roy actually enjoys his company. Plus, now that he's tolerable to be around, Roy can stomach passing to him, and Richmond is starting to play well?

Then Jamie gets sent back to City : )

[idcfriend]

How do they know?...

[Author here please keep in mind that this is an au and that most of it isn't cannon in either twst or disney, I'm more or less just mixing fact and fiction. SORRY IF It's TOO long]

When Yuu woke up in a coffin they were expecting to have somehow been buried alive not that they somehow got sent to a Disney's equivalent of a modern college. Don't get them wrong they love Disney and everything to do with it but that didn't mean they wanted to apart of it!

But since they're already there they might as well as make the best of it(plus maybe at long last their concerning amount of Disney knowledge can come in handy)

So when Crowley had led them to the...interesting...sight that was Ramshackle they honestly were ready to just role with punches which is when a certain blue flame eared cat appeared they weren't too concerned, not even when they were made aware of their ghostly roommates hell they even befriended them by the time got back having even been told their names which were Michael(skinny one), Anthony(medium one) and Christopher(big one).

And while they weren't pleased at having been made into a handyman/janitor. Which is how they found themselves looking at the statues of their favorite disney villians.

"Hey henchman! Whose this lady?!" shouted Grim ponting at one of the statues, snapping you out of your thoughts of how you ended up in this situation

You looked over seeing him pointing at the Queen of Hearts statue

"Do you really not know who she is?" he asked looking like he couldn't believe someone hadn't heard of the Great Seven.

"Well she's- I can't believe you don't know who the Queen of hearts is!" you were interrupted before you could answer, the person that interrupted being an orange haired guy with a heart over his left eye.

"Well actually- Yeah! Is she some big shot?" you sighed annoyed at being cut off again this time by Grim.

She was a queen who lived in a mazelike garden of roses long, long ago.

She was a strict woman who prized order above all. She wouldn't tolerate a rose being off-color, or her playing-card soldiers being out of step.

"She basically ruled over a kingdom of madness, but not one of her subjects dared to defy her.

You wanna know why? Because the punishment for breaking a rule was immediate decapitation!"

"Woah! that's messed up!" Grim exclaimed looking surprised

"I think it's pretty cool, besides no one would bother to obey a queen if they were kind all the time." said the guy

You zoned out a bot thinking of the queen's backstory and unconsciously saying, "You know it's kind of ironic that even though she ruled over a kingdom of madness she was probably the most sane person there because even though her rules were seen as odd or even downright idiotic they were the only thing keeping her kingdom and its citizens from truly becoming 'mad' for without her rules there would of been no sense of order among the madness. She had a sister who was known as the White Queen who while many thought a good queen preferred to succumb to the madness rather than try to prevent it. While the Queen of Hearts was known to have decapitated many she truly never did so without good reason even if it didn't seem that way, for example she once decapitated three card soldiers for not having painted the roses red but in truth she had done so because not only had they been found to have disrespected the crown but they also had been stealing from the castle, it was also known that is the Queen was ever mad that you should inform the King because while their marriage was arranged they did love each other for he was the only one to be able to calm the Queen, she loved the King dearly for she would even stop a beheading if he asked" when you didn't hear any talking you turned to look at Grim and the guy looking at you as if you had said that the sky actually red and they were just realizing it.

"What?" you asked looking a little nervous, had you said to much? Plus you could of sworn that after your explanation you could feel someone or something looking at you in curiosity from the direction of the Queen of Heart's statue

They both seemed to have snapped out of their shock because they continued to talk

"You know i never thought of it like that, the name's Ace Trappola, first year student as of today, nice to meet 'ya!" he said with a grin that didn't seem all that genuine but maybe you were just seeing things...

"I'm the Great Grim! And this is my henchman Yuu!"

"For the last time, I'm not your henchman Grim" you sighed a bit irritated at being being basically called a servant

"Yuu? that's an odd name" said Ace looking at you curiously

"Sup" you said with a slight wave

"So Ace tell me is the lion with a scar on his eye a famous ruler too?"

"Of course!

That's the King of Beasts who ruled the savanna.

But he wasn't born into the throne - he had to earn it through hard work and elaborate schemes.

When he became king, he decreed that the hyenas would be pariahs no more, and should live among his subjects as equals."

"Sounds like a great guy! Not everyone's able to look past social status like that." Grim said looking at Scar in awe, "Hey henchman what do you know anything about him too?" Grim asked looking at you in question wanting to know more

You thought for a bit thinking of what to say since there's a few different iterations of Scar's backstory, "His original name isn't actually Scar it used to be Askari after one of his ancestors and he used to lead a group dedicated to protecting the Pride lands called the 'Lion Guard' but then another lion told him that he could help him become king but when he refused not wanting to betray his brother the other lion had a cobra bite his eye hence the reason for the scar, then the lion told him that he could cure the cobra's venom in return for Askari's servitude but not wanting to give in and with the cobra's venom affecting his mental state he used what was called "The Roar of the Elders" in a fit of rage. He then reported what happened to his elder brother Mufasa wanting his brother to know of the event but instead of congratulating Askari and helping him with the venom that was still coursing through his veins Mufasa belittled and shunned for his actions which was then made worse when his own brother had given him the nickname Scar which eventually became his only name" you said feeling that even if his actions were a bit extreme Scar's action were still a bit justified

"All in all he was a great leader all things considered" you said with finality feeling a sense of pride emanating from Scar's statue

At some point some students had stopped to listen wanting to know what you were talking about some of which had even heard what you said about the Queen of Hearts.

"Geez sounds like he had it rough, who's the lady with octopus legs?" Grim asked wanting to know about the other statues (more from you rather Ace really)

"Uh she's the Sea Witch..." Ace said trailing off still processing what you had just before shaking his head continuing his explanation (wanting to know what else you knew about the great seven not that he was going to admit it) "who lived in an underwater grotto.

She basically devoted her life to helping troubled merfolk.

If they were willing to pay the price, she'd help them change their appearance, find love, whatever!

They say she was so good, there was no wish she couldn't grant. They also say the price was a tad steep, though.

But she was granting wishes! Of course it was!"

They both then looked in your direction causing you to sigh knowing you were going to have some of what you knew about the others too at this point

"She was known as the Sea Witch yes but not she was also King Triton's sister, where as Triton got the position of King and their father's trident Ursula got magic unlike any merfolk, this cause many to be envious and spread rumors of her being power hungry and dabbling in the dark arts, this lead to her reputation as the Sea Witch to spread which she didn't mind until the rumors became more and more sinister causing mny to fear her so when the King heard these rumors instead of trying to find if these rumors were true banished his only daughter, this caused Ursula to feel betrayed and bitter but during her banishment she took in a pair of young eel twins called Flotsam and Jetsam which she treated as her own calling them her babies, and while still feeling bitter if any of the merfolk seeked her out she would help with her magic but she couldn't do it for free for there must be balance in all things including magic for which she created 'contracts' that way there would be a way for the merfolk to get their wish while keeping a balance but many tried to cheat her contracts causing them to be punished by becoming something similar to 'weeds' due to their magick being sucked dry in order to balance the contract, so many merfolk broke her contracts that she had a sizable garden of 'weeds'"

Ace looked a bit uncomfortable " wow talk about reaping what you sow" he said with a grimace

"The guy with the big hat next!" Grim exclaimed not even talking about Ace at this point but Ace still answered anyway

"That's the Sorcerer of the Sands.

He was an advisor to a total dolt of a sultan. He was a smart guy. Really capable sort.

He exposed this swindler once - some guy pretending to be a prince in order to trick the princess!

After that, he got this magic lamp and became the greatest sorcerer in the world. Then, they say...

... he used that power to become sultan himself!"

Ace said a bit impressed, he then looked at you wanting to know what you had to say

"While Jafar was a well respected individual in Agrabah being the royal advisor and magician second in political power only to the sultan himself he wasn't always that way, infact he used to nothing more but a poor commoner from the worst part of the slums, back then he wasn't respected at all and was nothing more than a thief and a street rat stealing to survive and even if he was looked down upon he didn't give for the simple reason that if he did his beloved younger twin sister would be left alone to fend for herself, one day while trying to steal some bread he ran into a...i guess you could call a scholar who took him and his sister in and taught them and as time passed and Jafar rised in rank the scholar which he and his sister came to see as family couldn't be more proud but one day as a visiting royal visited the palace the scholar caught their eye and so the greedy royal made a deal with the Sultan that is he gave them the scholar he would establish trade with Agrabah, the Sultan not seeing anything wrong with this proposal seeing as they were only a scholar agreed. When the visiting royal and his men came to the scholars house Jafar having heard of the deal refused to let a member of his family be taken but there was nothing he could do and as the scholar said his goodbyes to the two children he had raised and after telling Jafar to protect his sister was dragged away, Jafar swore he would get them back, that he would rise high enough in rank where no one could refute him and his family would never be separated again and that he would make the Sultan regret his decision. Soon Jafar became the Sultan's advisor but when he search for the scholar he could not find them this caused him to despair making him swear to protect the only family he had left and that he would make sure that no one else suffered as he had by advising the Sultan." you finished explaining

"Guess it's true that a mage needs to be an excellent judge of character, huh?", Grim said looking at Jafar's statue with a sense of respect, "And what about this beauty over here?"

"She's a queen who was said to be the fairest in all the land.

In fact, she used her magic mirror to check how she ranked on a daily basis!

When it looked like her position was threatened, they say she'd do whatever it took to keep it.

Can you even imagine the level of dedication it would require to keep a record like that?

Also, they say she was a master of making poisons!"

"You make her sound so shallow" you said scrunching up your nose in distaste, " while yes the Queen valued beauty, she also valued hard work for before she was queen she was a simple commoner and while many claimed she was the cause of her husbands untimely death she truly did love the king but once her stepdaughter started to mature and resemble her late mother more and more each day, she noticed how her beloved king would gaze at the girl she considered her own with eyes no that no father should look at their daughter with and when her daughter for she was her daughter in everything but blood came to her with tears and told her how her father would touch her, the Queen saw red and with a heavy heart called her loyal huntsman and instructed him to take her to the dwarves in the forest and to tell them to keep her safe. Once her huntsman returned the Queen made sure to put a few drops of poison in king's wine for even though he was her beloved husband she would not him hurt her precious child"

"Geez. She's pretty, but that sounds kinda scary." said Grim with a shudder

"Really? I kinda respect it" replied Ace

"F-for sure... Sounds like she fought hard for what she believed in, and never gave up!

And the one there, with the flaming head? Now THAT guy looks scary!" shouted Grim

"That's the King of the underworld!

Single-handedly ruling a kingdom packed with rambunctious spirits - that takes competence!

He may look scary, but he was a straight shooter who worked tirelessly at a tough job he never even asked for.

I mean, this is the guy who was ordering Cerberus, the Hydra, and the Titans into battle for him." explained Ace with a look of obvious respect

"While he hadn't taken his job willingly he still was loyal to those he considered family even is their relationships were strained, working along side the fates while keeping order of the underworld is no easy feat, he wasn't the most well liked in Olympus even though his position was one that could be considered of equal or higher status than Zeus (author note: you can't tell me isn't, he's basically the king of the dead) he also loved wholly and completely as was demonstrated with his wife Persephone the goddess of Spring" you happily explained since he was one of your favorites

"Hmm. That IS something. T'think he could have that much power and not let it go to his head!

And that last one there, with the horns?" asked Grim

"That's the Thorn Fairy who lived on a mythical mountain.

She was noble and elegant, and a master of magic and curses - even by the standards of these seven!

She commanded storms, covered the kingdom with thorns... She could use magic on a massive scale!

She could even turn herself into a giant dragon."

You sighed in relief seeing as this was the last one, " She was an orphan who lived in the Moors and she thought herself the last of her kind, one day she met a young human boy who was trying to steal precious stones from the river, as she grew older her and the boy became closer but, Maleficent had become the protector of the Moors for the neighboring human kingdom wanted to invade the Moors and take it for themselves, but when Maleficent dealt a fatal blow to the human king he announcement saying anyone who brought him the head of treacherous fae would become king. Arthur the human boy now a man Maleficent had met so long ago hearing this announcement traveled to the Moors to ser her, but when Maleficent had fallen asleep Arthur consumed by greed too k out a metal chain but not wanting to kill Maleficent he used the chain to separate her wings from her body and took them to the king as proof of having 'slain' her. Thus when Maleficent awoke to such betrayal her once pure heart became as hard as stone" you finished explaining

"They're all pretty cool huh? Unlike some piddling weasel" Ace finished with a smirk

'you can't be serious' you thought with a deadpan already knowing that this won't end well

(unbeknownst to you quite a few students had stoped to listen to you talk about the great seven, some of which were there to hear you talk about the Queen of Hearts (one of which was even recording), wanting to know more for as far as any of them knew this wasn't information just anybody knew, so how did a magic less nobody like you know? And why when you talked about the Great Seven did you look at their statues with not only fondness but nostalgia and sorrow? (you weren't it's just that talking about their backstories made you remember when you used to watch disney with your family))

[yippieitsarvensart]

Tweels hc doodles + notes!

Goodness me, I've not been working on these for very long but here's all of what I've thought of within 2 days of thinking about them!! I basically started writing about them the moment I finished drawing "the fuck you brothers" post (9/24) (and today, 9/26) I totally have been thinking about them more after I wrote all this, so I will be continuing on with my hcs right here, under the cut :3 (keep in mind I have not yet played twst! If I get anything gravely wrong correct me!) (9/28, edit: I downloaded twst y'all...)

Both of the twins are autistic, just being on very different ends of er... intensity? Idk how to word that. I just mean that Floyd is someone who has trouble regulating his emotions and stims a lot. Jade doesn't stim as often, he probably would if he were infodumping about mushrooms/his terrariums or whatever else. I think I mean. That Jade suppressed his autistic tendencies by a lot to seem more like a gentleman, while Floyd doesn't really give much of a shit and probably doesn't even know he's autistic.

on that note they both have ADHD. AuDHD brothers.

Anyways as I way saying abt Floyd stimmies; He stims a LOT. Just, all the damn time. It gets so annoying for a lot of people and everyone knows he can't control it. His clingyness is also stimming, he's very touchy. A lot of stim toys don't actually help him but he does calm down significantly more when he's wearing headphones and listening to loud music. That's what stimulates him the most.

Jade only stims when excited, yeah I mentioned that. But did I mention he also stims a lot when stressed. In front of costumers, if he was stressed he might only fiddle with his fingers behind his back. But as soon as he gets away it's full body stimming time baby. Mans is not okay but he cannot let that mask slip!! (I forgot the word before, but I meant to say in my first dotpoint that jade is better at masking than Floyd!!)

Floyd mcr liker >_< (songs about depression and drugs to think about violence to!) Floyd also likes shit like "41 mins of roblox music" or any spongebob music. skull emoji.

Jade Laufey liker :33 (calm songs to think about violence to!)

Floyd likes dancing around in his room to music. Like really getting into it. Putting one song on loop and doing the same dance moves over and over again. (stimming) (oh my god I'm PROJECTING AGAIN stop....)

Jade likes drawing mushrooms. He's really good at drawing nature and when I say "good" I mean if you looked at it, you'd think it was a picture. Like abnormally good for someone who used to not even have paper available...

I saw this from a moot once on twitter I think, but they both (+ Azul) probably had a hard time adjusting to walking around everywhere instead of swimming when they first came onto land. And I think there was something about holding on to bars on stairs WAYY too tight because they feel so wobbly going up them. Same with like, escalators? and elevators? didn't fucking trust them. And they still don't sometimes... Adding onto this I think that they'd both get really frustrated at first with it. Like genuinely really upset; Floyd dramatically falling to the floor and flailing around on the verge of tears while Jade punches the ground over and over... They obviously got better at land things after a long while but for a bit they were just so. not okay LOL

I think for casual/home clothes they'd both be really into big fluffy jumpers. massive fucking huge fluffy shits. They'd be all over the texture and it would be so so texture /pos drooling emoji

I had a little thing that I thought of where I would give Floyd Heart shaped eye shines PLUS an extra smaller not heart eye shine. And giving Jade a square shaped shine with no extra shines. It just makes so much sense to me. Like I can't explain it very well but if you get it, you get me. Do you get me...

WHICH leads me to say then that when Floyd gets MAD he would have NO eye shines. Do you get me. I totally make sense right/. And Jade getting happy about anything even if it doesn't show on his face it would totally show in his eyes... Which also brings me back to something I wrote in my doodle notes with the pupils being like cats... OUGH I'M GOING INSANE DO I MAKE SENSE

another thing my twt moot said !! Floyd would hate necklaces/rings/other accessories and jewelry! It relates back to my point about Floyd hating the feeling of tight clothes, and things touching his skin too much. I feel like if he had say, a necklace on for like 0.1s he would rip it the fuck off, destroying the necklace in the process

Floyd: :3 (aggressive)

Floyd loving to squeeze people but hurting them is 90% of the time on purpose hurting and 10% accidental hurting and when it IS accidental he gets so upset about it. I like to think Floyd is the more emotional out of the two... just so many emotions in that boy. like he just !! wants to give you love !!! but he's so strong he breaks ur ribs !!!! many of ur ribs!! ur honestly surprised you haven't punctured a lung yet!!!

On that note they BOTH are extremely touch starved. Floyd would fucking LOVE it if someone were to lay down on top of him for hours he would feel so squished!! and warm and nice!! and comfy!

Jade on the other hand, LOVES holding hands. holding ONTO something holding onto someONE.

Jade is a gift giver (love language) I bet you can't guess what Floyd is

His love language is Physical touch. Yeah

Jade getting people way too many gifts when it's a special occasion for them because he thinks they might think it's weird if he gets them a gift on any other day.

Floyd hyperpop liker (just overall really likes loud thrashy music or whatever)

Floyd also really got into those games where you have to beat the shit out of a dummy. He doesn't like ones where you have to TIME a hit to make it work (makes him annoyed bc he can't do it) Games like Pou I think....

While Jade enjoys colour by number or those hue games? just doing it in his free time.

[toomuchracket]

mads I keep imagining that d word girly would have an incident where she gets really defensive about Matty’s personal space/safety. maybe after he went into the crowd at the Hollywood bowl? but I actually think it might be when that reporter approached him in LA. I think she’d be like “you can you leave my boyfriend the fuck alone? He won’t be mean to you, but I will.” Or something else, pick your poison!

(i am dramatising these instances a bit)

actually yeah, i think that as much as you're professional and careful with what you publicly do or say and pretty good at staying calm in stressful situations, there's only so much you can take re. matty's safety/wellbeing/general happiness being threatened right before your eyes. your reaction to the hollywood bowl incident was maybe slightly amplified given the, um, changes to your body that you found out about a few days later, but it was justified - thinking that you (and denise, sitting next to you) got really worried when matty went over the other side of the barrier, and you got progressively angrier when they all started shoving phones at him and trying to grab him, to the point denise actually had to hug you just to stop you storming down there yourself and trying to intervene. literally, she had to calmly whisper "he's fine, he'll be fine, mark's there to keep him safe", while you were seething about "fucking animals they don't give a fuck about him it's fucking ridiculous imagine having such little respect for another person" (and this was BEFORE you started crying about peanut. quite the evening for you!). do you know what you were going to actually do once you got there? no, but probably nothing good.

in some ways, the earlier thing with the reporter in LA was probably worse to witness, because you saw matty up close and personal realise in real-time that he was being pestered by a journalist; you're both used to being filmed by randoms when they meet you (well, as used to it as you can ever be), and so you've gotten quite good at quickly determining if people seem a bit off, and thus i think it was you who clocked the girl was a reporter because she was holding her phone in a really weird way to try and discreetly get the shot (as opposed to fans generally being obvious about the fact they're filming). you whispered to matty to tell him, before you were audibly like "so sorry but we can't talk right now, we're running late for a meeting", but she still persisted in asking questions - matty didn't want to be impolite, you knew that (plus he kinda squeezed your hand anxiously like "help"), so you tried again to shut her down like "no seriously we literally can't talk right now" to no avail. she's talking over you, stepping closer as you move back, generally being a dick, and you think fuck it and calmly say, like you said, "look. my boyfriend won't be rude and tell you to leave him alone, and i've tried to do it politely with no success. so i'm going to be a bitch about it, actually - can you just fuck off? thanks". it works, but as soon as you say it you're internally trying to figure out damage control on yourself. but it's not too bad, because cctv and nearby fans caught the whole thing on tape and showed she was actually being a pest. and matty's reaction to you saying that was good; he kissed your hand as you walked off together like "that was so fucking cool, baby, i can't believe you got all aggressively protective over me like that. it was sexy", and you got all blushy but were still fired up like "nobody messes with my man", and matty was almost swooning like "so fucking true. i love you!" lol <3

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 2

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note. Get ready for the first major change in the canon story-line hehe

Please enjoy reading! :)

"You want me to sing tonight, chicken?"

It's way past my bed-time. The sky looks like a giant film of blue cellophane above us, with millions of little white holes poked through. I pick out the shiniest one, 'cause that one's my Momma. Then I realise I gotta pick one out for Uncle Merle, now, too, so I pick the one right next to Momma's and wish him goodnight in my head.

After my Dad dragged all our stuff further into the woods, because we shouldn't sleep next to people we don't trust, we curled up in his camping chair and we haven't moved since. I'm wrapped up in a grubby gray blanket that I think used to be white, 'cause it's all we got, and I'm wearing two pairs of socks plus my Dad's jacket but it's still cold. I feel like a baby joey in a Momma kangaroo's pouch. Through the trees, I can see the main camp's fires all glittering like tiny orange fireflies and I can hear 'em all laughing. I think they're celebrating. Me and my Dad — We're mourning.

Tomorrow, they're heading back to the city to look for my Uncle Merle, even though we all know he's dead already. He's dead and he's gone and he ain't never coming back, so why does my Daddy wanna go get killed, too? Don't he know I need him?

"I don't wanna go to sleep."

"Well," He reminds me, "Sometimes it don't matter what little girls want. I'm sayin' it's time to sleep, so it's time to sleep."

If he wanted to talk about it, I'd tell him that I don't wanna go to sleep because it means that when I wake up, it'll be the day my Daddy either dies in the city or he doesn't, and then I'll be all alone forever. I don't wanna pick a star out for my Dad. But I don't tell him any of this.

"Now, you want me to sing, or not?" He asks me again.

"I said," And half-way through I'm huffing this out, I know I've made a mistake, but I keep goin', anyway, because at least if I make him super angry, he might wanna talk. Unlike Officer Rick, my Dad is easy to make angry. "I don't wanna go to sleep."

I feel his stomach fill with air underneath me. "Scuse me?"

I twist to face him. Half his face is glowing from the fire, and the other half is glowing just from how mad he is.

"I... don't... wanna," I spell it out real slow. That's what people do when someone's not listenin' properly. "Go... to... sleep."

I hear main camp laughing again. For just a second, I wish I was over there, instead.

I look my Dad in the eye. It's really hard.

"You lookin' for a spanking, Harley Dixon?"

"No," My voice wobbles.

"'Cause you keep back-chattin' me, that's where you're headed."

"But—"

"What I just say?"

I snap my mouth shut like a kettle lid. Does he even have the words in him? Do I gotta beat on his chest 'till they come flying out? Do I gotta kick and yell and scream 'till he can't hold 'em in anymore? What do I gotta do to make him talk? How am I meant to like it over here, in this lonely camp with no Momma and no Uncle and maybe after tomorrow, no Dad, neither?

"Quit that look, Harley Dixon. I'm warnin' you."

"No."

"You really gonna make me repeat myself?"

I snap.

"Maybe I'on care!" I shout. We're both shocked. Then, he's about to lay me over his knee and whoop me 'till I'm black and blue, but I don't stop for nothin'. "Maybe I'on give a crap! I said I don't wanna go to sleep, so why you makin' me? I don't wanna! Uncle Merle's dead! He's dead and you don't even care!"

"How can you say tha—"

"You don't care because you're goin' back to the city tomorrow and you're gonna die, and I'm gonna be alone again, and you don't even care! Uncle Merle is dead! Just like Momma, he's dead!"

"We don't know that, Harley."

"Yeah, we do! Rick killed 'im, and now he's dead."

"That ain't true. Harley, you listen—"

He grabs my arms, but I smack him away. He gets angrier.

He points a finger in my face. "Do not fuckin' hit me, girl."

"I'on care."

Now he really grabs me, and it's so tight I can't smack him at all, or wriggle, or even look away. I see two miniature versions of our campfire in his eyes, burning away. It's a familiar look. I start to cry. I wish I wasn't here. I wanna be in main camp, where they're laughing.

"You stop this bullshit right now, Harley." He says, low. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but if it don't stop right this second, you're gonna regret it. You understand? Don't you ever hit me again. I'm leavin' tomorrow, and that's final."

"But why?"

"'Cause I'm choosin' to believe in yer Uncle Merle. You heard what all them said. There's a chance he ain't dead, and that's a chance I'm gonna take, because I'm a Dixon. Dixons look out for each other." He gives me a little shake. "If it were either one of us in that city, he'd be raisin' Hell on his way there already. Now, I don't wanna hear another word outcher mouth 'bout this. No more tears, neither. Got it?"

It's still not good enough. I want more.

"You wouldn't go back for Momma." I mutter, before I even realise that's what I've chosen to say. Somehow, that's the worst thing I've told my Dad all night, and I didn't even need to shout it. We stare at each other for a bit. "You wouldn't go back for her. You killed her."

I promised I'd never bring it up again, but there it is. I said it.

I think I might throw up again.

Just like that, our argument is over. He doesn't say anything, and then I don't say anything, either, and the not-saying-anything keeps going until we're back to sitting against each other in silence. The moon is high in the trees, now. One by one, the orange blips in the distance die. The chatter gets quieter and quieter until it's gone, and then me and my Dad are truly alone. He holds me tight, but it doesn't feel nice like it did before. It just feels like we're back to square one, because we are, and everything is a little to the left. Like when you get a pebble in the corner of your shoe, and you gotta walk a little funny to pretend it's not there, but it is, and you can feel it, and you hate it.

"You want me to sing for you, chicken?"

This time, I just say yes.

I watch the cube van drive into the distance until it's a white speck.

Dale stands next to me, even after everyone else has shuffled back to camp. "You've probably heard this from ten other people by now," Dale says, holding onto the strap of his heavy sniper rifle, "But your Dad? Well, he's going to be just fine. Toughest man in camp, I'd say."

My Dad, he's tough as nails, and he could shoot a walnut off a fencepost from a mile away, but he's also just a man. He's just skin and bones and blood like everyone else, like me, like deer and squirrels, and a bite from a dead person will kill him just the same. I don't say this to Dale.

He doesn't seem to mind. "Do you remember your first day here?"

A strange thing to ask. 'Course I remember. "What about it?"

"Things were a little more desperate, back then. We'd just ran out of our last tin of beans. People were hungry. I remember your Dad spent the whole morning telling people to leave him alone, because everybody was just begging him to go hunting. I think I did, too." Dale laughs. "One by one, he shot them all down. We were all so sure we'd have to start rationing. Then, the next morning, I go to wash my face behind the RV, and what do I see? Your Dad, dinged up and covered in sweat, dragging this... just... huge, simply huge... deer, into camp. I was gobsmacked. I remember thinking, 'who on Earth could have possibly convinced this stubborn man to go hunting'? Then, later in the day, I see him handing you a bowl of fried deer meat, happy as a clam, and that's when I knew he did it all for you. Tooth and nail, he made sure you were fed. And that's how I know he's coming back."

I think about all the times my Dad's done somethin' like that for me, like with Ronnie, and I feel a little better. My Momma once said my Dad would crawl back out of Hell on hot coals for me, and that I should never forget that. I feel bad for forgetting.

"I didn't tell him I love him, before he left." I admit to Dale. "I was real mean to him last night. I wish I told him."

"That's okay," Dale bumps my shoulder, and when I look up, there's a smile in his white beard. He winks. "I think he knows. Dads always know."

Something about Dale's cheeky attitude makes me giggle. I think I believe him.

"Now, lucky for us, we're certainly not short on food around here anymore. So, how about we go get you some breakfast?"

The day goes by like it always does, 'cause it don't know any better.

I can see Amy and Andrea fishing from the bank of the lake. Their boat looks like a little grain of salt in the middle of a giant green coin.

I'm up to my knees in the water. I'm trying to catch frogs. I'm missing. Shane and Carl are here, too, because even though we ate a whole sleeve of cheese and onion crackers for breakfast, Officer Shane says frog legs are gonna be all the rave, soon, when the peaches and jerky run out. We told him that's super gross, but he just smacked his lips and told us to grab our hats. We gotta do things like this, now. Things like sharing one tube of toothpaste, and only using two squares of toilet paper when you gotta go, and the adults gotta try and make it sound fun. 

I hear Carl somewhere down the rocks, going awww and man 'cause he keeps missing, too. All I know 'bout Carl is he can't spell 'adventure'.

"Hey, man, it happens. How you doin' over there, Harley?" Officer Shane asks me. "You managed to catch any of the little suckers yet?"

"No, not yet." I say. "But I can see 'em."

When we first got down here, Shane asked us kids to provide a little muscle for him. Shane's got plenty of muscle, already. He was just kiddin'. He does that a lot, and his laugh is real loud. He also gives high fives that knock you on your butt, and he's got a heavy walk and a dog tag. I think he must have taught little league, or somethin', before, 'cause he talks like a teacher. All fun and games, but also lots of rules. Like how if you say a bad word, he flicks you on the ear and tells you to mind your language.

I'm still not used to any of these people talking to me. I think they're just glad I ain't biting and hitting on them, anymore.

"How many's in there?" Shane wades over to me.

The only reason I trust Shane is because he's an adult, and adults can be trusted.

I count the frogs. "Um... Three."

"Three? Hm, talk about a gold mine, huh?" He laughs and, yep, it's real loud. "Let's see if I can't help you out here."

He sets our bucket down, which has two wet frogs slipping around inside it.

He rubs his hands together. "C'mon, girl. Let's catch us some frog legs."

He says they eat frog legs in France. I never knew that before today. French people are weirdos.

"You gotta get 'em quick, 'cause they're quicker." I warn Shane. It's something my Dad says 'bout squirrels and possums, so I say it now, too.

"Sure are." Shane agrees. "How 'bout I scare 'em out, and you try grabbin' one?"

"With my hands?"

"What? You plannin' on using your feet?" Shane grins, and he splashes me. I giggle. "C'mon. Get ready."

Officer Shane rolls up his blue sleeves. I take three long steps backward and squat a little, like I'm playin' basketball or somethin', and then Shane grabs the metal bucket and clangs it against the rocks, and all three of the fat froggies come bursting out into the water like wind-up toys. I almost panic — almost — but that's what idiots do, so I steel myself, which means I'm not an idiot. I lunge at the closest frog and wrap my hands around the green blob it makes under the ripples.

When I pull my hands out, I realise I've caught it. It's real wriggly and its skin is cold.

I jump a little, smiling wide. "Look, Shane! I got one!"

"Way to go, Harley!" Shane says, and if I pretend hard enough, it sounds like my Dad's accent praising me instead. "Look at you!"

I drop the frog in the bucket. I hear cheering, and when I look out, I see it's Amy and Andrea. They're clapping. I guess they were watching. Carl comes hopping over, too, and tells me I did a good job. I know he's a bastard cop, and I know his friend murdered my Uncle, but maybe Shane ain't so bad. He makes me miss my teachers. Maybe this group ain't so bad. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

We call it a day after that, and we squeeze out all the water in our clothes on the gravel shore.

"C'mon, y'all," Shane says, "Time to haul butt back to camp."

What he really means to say is ass.

The sky goes from blue to purple, and soon, it'll be black.

We're gonna have a feast tonight. A fish feast.

Dale, who's sitting up on the RV, because he's like a barnacle on a boat, reads us a poetry book while we scrape scales off of fish with plastic spoons. After the book runs out, we pop cassettes in the radio. It's nothin' like what my Dad listens to. It's too nice.

I try really hard not to think about my stomach. It hurts real bad, which is what happens when you're nervous. I realise, a little guiltily, that I almost haven't thought about my Daddy or my Uncle Merle all day, until just now. I say sorry to them in my head, because I didn't do it on purpose, I promise. I was just focused on other things, like doing dishes, and getting my hair brushed by Lori, and strippin' fish skin. It was easy, during the day. But it's gettin' late, now, and every minute that goes by, I'm closer to being the only kid in camp with nobody to tuck me into bed.

I'm standing on a crate, which means I'm almost as tall as all the ladies. Makes me feel a little better. All women remind me of my Momma.

Maybe if I ask, Lori can tuck me in tonight.

"Hey, Harley, you're doin' real good over there." Jacqui tells me. The sun's on her shoulder. "Doin' better than me, at least."

I mumble a thank you, because it's good manners. I done dressed plenty of fish before. It's easy. Like peelin' bananas.

"Our Dad used to take us girls fishing all the time." Andrea tells us. "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, you name it. We were out on the water."

"Sounds fun," Lori says. "I always wanted to go fishing with Rick and Carl, but it never happened. We were indoor people."

Jacqui laughs. "Not anymore, you're not."

Lori makes a face. "You don't gotta tell me twice."

"What about you, Harley?" Asks Amy. "Your Dad ever take you fishing?"

There it is again; my stomach climbing up the back of my throat like a balloon. "Uh," I mumble. "Yeah. A lot."

Carol asks me, "You like it? Being on the water?"

"It's okay if you don't." Amy scrunches up her nose, smiling. "I was never that into it. Motion sickness 'n all."

I'm about to say no, I didn't like it, but something stops me. It's true, I never liked stabbing the alive worms on the hook, or gettin' sunscreen smeared all over my face, or carrying all them heavy buckets full of crayfish and bluegills back to the truck, but that doesn't matter. I was with my Dad. And I liked that. So, "I liked it," I say. "We went every weekend, in Dad's boat. It was sorta old, but he liked it a whole lot. He let me name it."

Lori smiles. Lori loves when people tell nice stories. "What'd you choose?"

"I named it after our old dog." I tell her. Hey, I'm smiling. "His name was Tank. So, Dad's boat was, 'The Tank'."

Lori pouts. She loves animals, too. "Aw. That's nice. We had a dog."

"What was his name?"

"Fido," She scoffs. "You can thank Carl for that one."

"I can't imagine Daryl lettin' anybody tell him what to do," Amy chuckles. "He's always so grouchy."

Dale must be eavesdropping, because he leans over his fold-out chair and calls down to us, "Now, now, remember that time with the deer?"

The story he told me this morning, to make me feel better.

All at once, the women start giggling together, and nodding, yes, they do remember that time with the deer. I catch it, like a stomach bug, and I start giggling, too, because I guess it is kinda funny. My Dad, with his squinty eyes and angry mouth and big, scarred fists, doin' whatever I tell him to. I never saw it like that, because it's always the other way 'round. For the first time today, I'm thinking of my Dad, and it doesn't hurt, not one bit.

"Like a gaggle of geese over there," Shane shakes his head from the fire. He's laughin', too. Bunch of eavesdroppers, these people. "Get back to work!"

"Yes, sir!" Andrea salutes, rolling her eyes.

We can't stop giggling.

The fish fry is, basically, a family barbeque.

My dinner is hot, and greasy, and it's even got yellow rice and onions in it, like takeaway. Takeaway is always good. Around the fire, all I see are happy faces and all I hear are jokes, and gasps, and laughter. They're talking about college, and how Lori used to wear the ugliest skirts, and how, yes, Shane can confirm, he was there to see it and, no, it wasn't pretty. When I look through the trees, I imagine me and my Daddy's sad little camp on the other side, abandoned. I was right. It is better over here. I hope he would think so, too.

"W— Hey! They were in style, back then!" Lori holds her fork up, like a pointing finger. "Everyone was wearin' them!"

"Oh, I remember." Shane shakes his head. "N— No, listen, I remember, alright! So short it was like a damn belt!"

Amy slides off her tennis shoe and launches it at Shane's legs. "You can't argue with fashion, Shane!"

He laughs. "Oh, that's what that was? Fashion?"

"Hey, I got some pretty nasty pictures of you with that damn perm on your head, so you might wanna quit while you're ahead." Lori sasses.

We all picture Shane with a mop of curly poodle hair, prolly posing like He-Man, and we all roar with laughter again.

Up until the very last grain of rice gets eaten, we talk about everything and anything, because stories are all we got to give each other anymore, Dale says. Dale talks about how he planned to take a trip around the state with his wife, in their RV, but she passed away before it could happen. So, when the world ended, he was in a gas station, buying ice creams and lookin' at maps, 'cause he was doin' the trip on his own. He says he's glad that all the small decisions he's made in life has led him to this quarry, with these people. Everybody calls him a sap, but he gets a side-hug from Jacqui. He smiles over the fire at me. Andrea and Amy talk more about their Dad.

I talk about the tyre swing I used to have, in my yard. Shange suggests building one here, too.

Jim talks a little about his old job as a mechanic. Morales talks about how much he misses his recliner.

"Aw, man, I'm telling you," He groans, like he's in a deep, deep pain. "It was remote-controlled, and it had blue-tooth, and everything."

Shane slaps him on the back. "Too bad the world ended; Had to get off your fat ass!"

More and more warm, silly laughter.

It's around us kid's bed-time when Dale checks his watch.

The other kids all complain straight away, but we get dragged away, anyway. I can hear my Daddy's voice in my head, telling me sometimes it don't matter what little girls want. Lori and Carol take us around the back of Shane's Jeep, where all the bathroom stuff gets kept, like the gallon jugs of water, the towels, and stuff Glenn brings back from runs. We brush our teeth, and splash our hair with water, and use baby wipes on our armpits.

I can see the tippy-tops of the city's tallest buildings from here, like skinny black popsicle sticks in the smog. I keep lookin' back, for my Dad.

I'm lookin' right now. Everyone else is trying to find Sophia's hairbrush in one of the bags, but I'm not helping. I can't look away.

There's a figure, stumbling up the road.

At first, I think it's my Dad, somehow. When you're expecting somethin' so much and for so long, and with all your heart, it's the first thing you think of. Even if it makes no sense. If they were really back, they'd all be together; Glenn, T-Dog, Daddy, and Rick, because my Daddy would make them all stick together, 'cause he's smart like that. But the shadow's alone. And he's got a limp. Just a little one. He hop-shuffle-hop-shuffles closer to us. No, no it's not my Dad. There's no crossbow; no big boots, no backpack. The shoulders aren't wide enough. Actually, the shoulders aren't wide at all. They're droopy. Too droopy, like they're... like they're melting off the bone, like hot cheese melts off pizza.

I hear a gurgle through the night. That's when it all makes sense.

"Walkers!"

And one second after that, the fish feast goes to Hell.

Someone snatches my wrist. We go rushing back into camp, where there's people, and lights, and noise. And shouting. Lots and lots of shouting; so much shouting it's like being stuck inside a beehive. I see flashes of legs and t-shirts and hands pulling me around, toward the bonfire. The bonfire must be brighter than a lighthouse out here, in the dark. Suddenly, I'm noticing everything wrong with the fish fry. The smells, the noise. I'm remembering my Daddy's rules, 'bout how loud is dangerous and dangerous is stupid and oh God — I can hear Amy shrieking like a piglet, near the RV. I hear shotguns pumping and bullets exploding and sloppy plops of skin falling of the dead people afterwards. I'm screaming.

The bag — The emergency bag, the one in our tent. I should grab it, right? That's what I'm supposed to do, right? So we can live?

"Lori!" Shane's hollering. "Carl! Harley! Where are you?"

"We're over here!" Lori cries.

"Start moving!"

Everywhere, everywhere, legs, legs, legs, all rotten and slimy and dead. Then, a gap, filled with darkness. The tent is out there. The bag.

I can make it. I know I can.

"Harley!"

That's Lori, screaming like she's never screamed before, because I just broke away from her, and I can feel something hot sliding down my arm, and it must be blood, 'cause she must have ripped my arm open with her short razor nails. I run straight for the gap in the wall of dead people, and I throw myself past them, like they're bowling pins and I'm the ball, and then I'm on the other side, in the dark, dark woods, running, running, running, all by myself. I remember the path to our camp. Big rock, little tree, old fence. It's all there, it's just covered in night.

I hear Shane yelling for me, and Morales, too, and more screaming, more dying.

A dead man slams into me. We go tumbling into the branches and the leaves, and then down a little hill, and then into a ditch. I smack his growling face away from mine, and I kick his stomach, and I wriggle away. The dirt is slipping away from underneath me, like dust, but the roots are easy to climb so I climb those, and the dead man follows me out. He's swiping at my ankles, scampering for my legs, slobbering on his lips.

His nails catch my arm.

I see the tent.

I'm running again, but only for a second. It's my pants. They're stuck. The dead man's grabbing onto them. I kick his fingers off.

"Get away," I grunt.

The pebbly ground barks under my shoes when I tear off again, and it only takes a couple heartbeats for me to reach my Dad's camping chair, and then the black fire pit, and then the truck, and then the tent. I rip open the zipper and fall inside. The bag, the bag, the bag. I scramble for my Dad's sleeping cot, and drop to my knees, and pat around all the spare shirts and pants and socks and blankets he's got stuffed under here, praying, please God, it's gotta be here, like he says it is. My fingers hit something soft, then something hard. A buckle. I grab. I pull.

It's the bag. It's the bag, with the compass and the rope and the matches. I did it.

A branch cracks. I look over my shoul—

The dead man crashes on top of me, all two hundred pounds, through the tent lining. He squirms against me like a finger in a glove.

I scuttle backward as fast I can, under the cot. The dead man flops and turns and twists until he finds the tent opening, and he slithers inside, 'cause he's a hungry animal and I'm his food. An electric lamp clicks on underneath my foot. The dead man's shadow gets projected onto all four of the tent walls; big, like the bogeyman. I hug the bag like a teddy bear and then that's it, and there's nowhere else to go. His fingers reach for me, and they look like big, black, dead spiders, all curled up. I see his face, now. It's shredded. It's beaten.

It's Sophia's Dad.

Something clamps around my shoe, and it's his teeth. A whole row of thick, white teeth. A bite.

I squeeze my eyes closed and hope my shoe's thick enough to keep me safe. There's nothin' else I can do.

Then, a great, big bang.

Then, hot, slippery puddles of blood, and little bits of neck and skin and jaw, splattered across my face. He slumps. Is it over? It's over? His head's cracked open like an egg, and his brains are leaking out like yolk. There's a bullet hole between my two feet. That means — That means someone shot his shadow, through the tent. Only someone with a very good shot could have made that, without killing me at the same time. I claw my way out from under all the blankets, and the body, and the cot. I can hear voices shouting, Oh Fuck, Oh God, and, Where are you, baby, and, If you hit my daughter, I will fucking end you.

The electric lamp flutters off.

The tent is ripped open. 

I look up. I'm blinded by big, white circles of flashlight light. Someone gasps.

My chin crumples 'cause I'm crying, like a little baby.

Rick's standin' there, Sherriff's hat on, revolver smoking. Shane's there, too, wild-eyed, and very, very sweaty, with a shotgun. There's Glenn, panting. They look at the blood on the blankets, and the blood on my face, and their dead friend on the floor, with half a head. Then, they see the scratches on my arm, and for some reason, some of them look like they're about to throw up all over themselves. But the person in front, the person that got here first, that's my Dad. It's my Dad, and he's alive. He doesn't even stop to look, like the others. He doesn't care.

"Harley," He chokes, like he's been punched, and he drops to his knees in front of me. He presses me into his chest. He's alive. He's alive. 

I'm alive.

"Daddy," I cough-sob, 'cause I can't help it.

I only ever call him Daddy instead of Dad in my head, or when I'm really, really upset.

He must notice, 'cause the hug gets tighter; safer. "Baby, I'm here. You're alright. You're alright. S'alright, now."

I bury my face in his sweaty, stinky, dirt-smeared neck, and I never wanna come back out. I sob and I sob and I sob, and I sob some more. He pets my hair and shushes me, like how he does when I get nightmares. We rock back and forth. I sob, sob, sob.

Someone says my Dad's name real weird, like they're boutta keel over, and only then I remember me and my Dad aren't the only two people in the world. Footsteps crinkle on the tent canvas. Someone kneels next to me. It's Rick. He takes off his hat and sucks in a breath, glances at the others — He steels himself — and then he gently grabs my green sleeve, and I wriggle into my Dad, who's lettin' him do this, and he slides it up my arm. Fresh claw marks, and blood, pouring down my skin. We stare at my arm for a long time. They glance at Sophia's Dad. Why are we staring at my arm?

I look at Rick. I look at Glenn; at Shane. I look at my Dad. He's gone white as a ghost.

"Harley, what is that?" He whispers to me.

I look back at my arm. It's just some stupid scratches. I wipe 'em away, 'cause I want 'em gone. "It's nothin'."

"Harley," He says again, this time with a very clear, very angry, no-nonsense voice. "You look me in the eye. What is that?"

Something is very, very wrong.

Glenn has to walk away.

"Wh—?" I shake my head, sniffing. Why do I feel like I'm in trouble? I didn't do nothin' wrong. "It's nothin'. Lori, she scratched me."

"It was Lori?" Rick raises his eyebrows, like it's very, very important that I'm not lying right now.

I'm not lying. Rick, he's a liar, but not me.

"Uh-huh." I nod hard, so they believe me. "It was Lori. H— He got me, too, I think, but it don't hurt. I promise. He ain't do it too hard."

I didn't say the right thing.

They're all looking at each other. They're speaking without talking, and I don't like it.

"Daddy, what's goin' on?" I'm mumbling now, 'cause I only want my Daddy to hear me, 'cause I'm scared. I'm really scared. I don't know what I did wrong, and I don't know what they're thinking about, but I'm sorry, and I'll never do it again. I was so busy worrying about the teeth in my shoe that I wasn't thinking about anything else. I think I should've been, though, and I'm sorry I wasn't. I'm sorry. All I know is that I'm sorry. I don't know why, but I'm sorry. Daddy picks me up, even though he's told me over and over I'm too old for that, now. He's shuddering.

"We'll check Lori's nails." Rick tells him, nice and steady. His police-man voice. "If there's blood under them—"

"This bastard's got blood unn'er his nails!" Dad gives Sophia's Dad a hard kick in the head. I shriek. "The stupid fuck! It don't fuckin' matter!"

"It does matter. It does." Rick keeps saying. "We can't make any conclusions. Not 'til then. We just can't."

"You wanna talk 'conclusions', officer? Let's talk 'conclusions'."

"Daryl, we'll figure this out."

"How the Hell did y'all even let this fuckin' happen?" Dad yells. "You're like a fuckin' bad luck charm, you people!"

"This is nobody's fault." Rick says, but he sounds like he knows he's lying.

I can hear people panicking far away, back at camp, in whispers. Glenn ran back there a few minutes ago.

"First my brother, now my—?" Dad cuts himself off. He's about to cry.

Nobody's got anything to say.

We listen to the sounds of leaves rustling and crickets chirping and the distant yelling and the breeze and my Daddy's big strong heartbeat, which is goin' buh-bump, buh-bump, buh-bump under my ear, real, real fast.

Shane steps forward, but it's all over already.

This is what it was like the night Tank got put down. I realise that I'm like Tank. Tank was dying. I'm a dying dog. The scratches on my arm, I get it now. They're from the dead man and they're from Lori at the exact same time, and until we know which it is, that means I'm dying. He scratched me — I remember, now. He got me. He did. I don't wanna be dying. I was alive just a second ago. I swear I was.

Unlike yesterday, Daddy doesn't bat Rick off when puts a hand on his shoulder. Something changed in the city today. I think we're all one team, now, even if my Daddy likes to bite and snap and blame. There's no more line between them and us. There's not two camps, anymore. Only one.

The stars are bright, tonight. I watch them twinkle over my Dad's head.

"If this happens," Daddy's voice cracks. "Every single one of you are gonna be real, real sorry."

Author's Note. Yep, you guessed it, Jim survives! And Harley is the one that gets attacked.

No more ominous hole-digging for you, Jim. Sorry.

Phew. This took a long time to write. I had to re-work almost every scene about four times, because some things just weren't working, and I had to delete some others. It all worked out in the end, though. Here we are with chapter two.

Please let me know what you think! :)

[ferociouslycreativemystery]

Doctor Who (1996) reaction

My hopes were for this to be quite cheesy and a little bit shit, and it turned out to be supremely cheesy and quite shit, so I'd say that was a good reason to watch the movie. I mainly wanted to see what the 8th doctor and his TARDIS looked like in action after listening to the big finish audios, so I got what I came for (plus a little bit more). On to the actual 'live' reaction (spoilers, obviously):

The time vortex looks really good!! I love how organic it feels.

Yeah, I suppose you would describe that control room as gothic. Not quite the way I'd imagined it though, a bit more stripped back, mechanical and certainly much larger and more open than I thought. I do recognise the Meccano pillars/cage around the console. He's got an armchair! Of course he's got an armchair.

The first five minutes are certainly very 👁️👁️ eye centric

Ah yes, the US. I knew that would feature heavily. Wow that's a lot of guns.

SDFHALFKHA WTFFF that death is the goofiest thing I've ever seeeeen

So we're in "the future" are we? New year's 1999! I'm about to be born in 3 weeks :)

Water snake.

BRILLIANT companion introduction (I'm assuming that's her?). The poise? The valour? This is the sincere commitment to drama that modern cinema is too cowardly to pursue.

They're making this regeneration soooo difficult for him fkajhhfa I'm loving it

The morgue guy is fantastic. So sorry but you're about to lose your marbles my dude.

Okay nvm he's actually watching Frankenstein, in a morgue, during a thunderstorm, on new year's eve. He's asking for this.

Das him!! 🫵

Idc if the dead guy just kicked in your big metal fridge door, that reaction is not befitting of that tiny little thing wrapped up tight in a littol blanket SKGNAFKAF the Frankenstein parallel is Hilarious. Sir that is a baby. Why are you fainting

Why can't movies commit to visuals this hard anymore I'm actually getting mad. Where in an active hospital do they have this apocalyptic wing you ask? I don't know, but don't you think every major hospital should be required to have a bad vibes room to attract the evil spirits and let the psychologically unstable see themselves literally reflected in their broken surroundings? This could be our future if you're not a coward.

hmmm... there's a green haloing effect behind the Master's head when his eyes go green the first time. Wonder what post production process created that artefact? I want to look into that later.

OOOOHHH THAT CLOSE-UP OF THE CLOCK!!!! IT'S THE SAME AS IN RORY'S HOSPITAL IN THE 11TH DOCTOR'S FIRST EPISODE!!! REFERENCE I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WAS A REFERENCE!!!!! (or maybe that's just what hospital clocks look like idk. It's a reference in my heart anyway. Also it's extra special to me cause I know it from this video, which is the reason I've wanted to make fan edits since I was 12.)

She's even called Grace?! Perfection 👌

He's gonna get in the elevator with her isn't he? YES YES HE IS. Oh god he's so weird <3333

Pulling that thing from his chest was genuinely unsettling to watch 🥴

I saw someone say in a post that they thought the 8th doctor was Like That because of his regeneration being interrupted. I think I agree entirely

DKSJHGSKDHG even the tardis doors don't look the same on the inside. What a mindfuck. Wow that thing is HUUUUUUUGEEE. (edit: wait I think the inner doors were different for the 1st doctor as well? Maybe others too? Then no one came in immediately pushing the doors wide though, so it wasn't as jarring. You could imagine there was maybe some kind of gap between them since they opened in different ways.)

*squeal* he's ADORABLE (That's just what getting a good pair of shoes feels like though!)

"The cloister room" are you FUCKING kidding me 🤣 okay there's the gothic look I was missing—bats an' all! Is this where he keeps the error bell?

Did the audition process for the Doctor mainly consist of pained grunts and moans? I mean he does do them well, would check out if that were the case.

And there's the kiss, already knew about that one as well.

Those are some Crusty glass effects.

Things are just happening now. Guess we're on a bike?

"I'm half human" and I'm entirely sure canon never meant anything on this show (are the writer(s) aware this isn't Star Trek?)

Just gonna skip over the fact that the master slimed up all those men pointing their guns at him real quick I don't need to know how that happened (why is he goo?)

The cop drove into the TARDIS! And straight out again! Fantastic!!

THE CEILING CAN BE SEE-THROUGH I WAS RIGHT! Really neat feature I like it a lot 👀

Oh no we're breaking the 180 degree rule 😬 that's so jarring

Grace NOOOO

Going heavy on the jesus symbolism what with first emerging from the death cave and now that spiked crown-vice thing aren't we? Also with the butchering a fish right as we arrived in the US. Was this written by an American or just heavily tuned for an American audience? (edit: the writer is British and has a history with the show, so probably just over-tuned for the American market appeal. They were trying to get the show picked up over there iirc.)

The hospital clock is back! :D

Okay maybe don't put your main actor in a device that doesn't allow him to actually act? Just a thought.

This has too much physical confrontation for doctor who 😂 Unless the choreography can be done in a single take by a guy in his 50s (50s?? I thought he was older) wearing frills, I'm afraid it just won't compute.

"Life is wasted on the living" What a... line.

And there's magic fairy dust of ressurection now too? Canon really does mean nothing. Oh thank god they just hug.

Also apparently this doctor is ominously all-knowing? Yeah, definitely going heavy on the jesus symbolism.

Unnecessary final kiss.

And that's it!

Thoughts: It's fine. Loved the cheese. The romance added nothing, the Master had no personality (they turned him into the terminator 😭), and the Americanisation is rampant in more ways than just the jesus thing. It lacks much of the genuine passion and respect for the unknown that carries the rest of the show. The Doctor knows a lot of stuff because he loves exploring and finding out there's more to learn, not because he's god. There were flashes of this here and there, but it didn't carry the story.

My pet theory is that this is a common thing when comparing British and American stuff. Like with Ghosts: in the British one, they're all just stuck as ghosts because fuck them ig and there is no clue as to the rules. The point is they're all just trying to make the best of it, and how they succeed or fail in doing that. But in the American one there has to be a System, and figuring out and finding your purpose in that System is what makes you happy—and that's when you 'die', cause you've nothing left to live for then, have you? Apparently they have a 'go down' as well as being 'sucked off', which just reinforces the apparently cosmic importance of Rules (I didn't watch that far though).

Anyway, I really liked the beginning, as is often the case with stuff I watch lol. Probably the reason I love Merlin so much is that it all just feels like one long beginning, so that I can make the story what I want when I want it in my mind.

I'll give this movie two out of five stars ★★☆☆☆. Would recommend to weirdos and bad movie enjoyers. I am at least one of those, so I enjoyed it well enough!